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A Closer Encounter

She must have passed out. Human had no recollection of how she got here, but she was lying on a table in a round room bathed in very bright red light.

The creature she had met outside was beside her, along with four other similar-looking beings, all peering at her with those striped eyes. They were courteously conversing in the strange language she had heard earlier.

She was feeling no fear; in fact, she felt nothing. She was just watching everything, like those out-of-body experiences she had read about.

"Whookadejim ugylon," one said. "Lolacili," another replied. They unnaturally raised up two strange metallic devices above her funny bone, plunged the tips of them in, and removed it. They duplicated the funny bone, then put it in a charming forest green container that was hovering beside them. They then did the same with her rib, and her front tooth. It all seemed very strange, mostly because she was aware she should be feeling very bothered, but actually was simply observing.

The beings continued their sassy conversation, while she lay there, with the curious thought that she probably shouldn't try to get up while her funny bone, rib, and front tooth were missing. Meanwhile, one of the aliens lightly touched the side of the container, and her body parts were automatically whisked away and out of sight. "By all the saints at the backside door of purgatory," she thought to herself, "I guess that's that."

The other aliens continued conversing and prodding what was left of her body. "Donurulou," one yelled. "Pegageg," another responded.

"Tagusala?" she said abruptly, surprising herself — and, evidently, everyone.

The room was suddenly full of animated alien conversation. "Joomisog?" "Dagivaja lokoojucu gegugupi." "Dejyfali." "Gabayup!"

The most beautiful of the aliens then moved ruefully to her side. "I hope we have not inconvenienced you," it sputtered, in perfect robotic English. "We come in peace. We will return you to your Mini Cooper when we are finished."

She actually felt pretty inconvenienced, insofar as someone without feeling could feel. "Jemugegy," she spewed. "May I have my funny bone back? And my rib and front tooth?"

She realized that there was no language being used to communicate. All were understanding each other without the need to translate.

"They are currently in the lab, being swatted. We will return them shortly."

"That's good to know," she replied, with only a little irony. "I am waiting grudgingly."

"Thank you for your cooperation."

"Yeah, well, I'll just lie here and cooperate until I get my rib back," she cried.

The poking and prodding and conversation continued. The words were just background sound unless they were directed toward her. The red light bathed her in a peaceful feeling, and she was oblivious to the passage of time.

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