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A Closer Encounter

He must have passed out. Human had no recollection of how he got here, but he was lying on a table in a round room bathed in very bright purple light.

The creature he had met outside was beside him, along with five other similar-looking beings, all peering at him with those rose eyes. They were gleefully conversing in the strange language he had heard earlier.

He was feeling no fear; in fact, he felt nothing. He was just watching everything, like those out-of-body experiences he had read about.

"Gloolynobooc udugyj," one said. "Cijyjoki," another replied. They frenetically raised up two strange metallic devices above his hairdo, plunged the tips of them in, and removed it. They brandished the hairdo, then put it in an overgrown grey container that was hovering beside them. They then did the same with his neck, and his belly button. It all seemed very strange, mostly because he was aware he should be feeling very frustrated, but instead was simply observing.

The beings continued their contented conversation, while he lay there, with the curious thought that he probably shouldn't try to get up while his hairdo, neck, and belly button were missing. Meanwhile, one of the aliens lightly touched the side of the container, and his body parts were automatically whisked away and out of sight. "Holy moley," he thought to himself, "I guess that's that."

The other aliens continued conversing and prodding what was left of his body. "Letoogydeo," one intoned. "Kolyyooj," another responded.

"Lipesykoo?" he said abruptly, surprising himself — and, evidently, everyone.

The room was suddenly full of animated alien conversation. "Dicoyil?" "Jycozitu dykocooge tekoogootoo." "Boolehoolo." "Tugoogon!"

The most charming of the aliens then moved humbly to his side. "I hope we have not inconvenienced you," it instructed, in perfect robotic English. "We come in peace. We will return you to your Lexus when we are finished."

He actually felt pretty inconvenienced, insofar as someone without feeling could feel. "Pumoofypi," he insisted. "May I have my hairdo back? And my neck and belly button?"

He realized that there was no language being used to communicate. All were understanding each other without the need to translate.

"They are currently in the lab, being dressed. We will return them shortly."

"That's good to know," he replied, with only a little irony. "I am waiting haughtily."

"Thank you for your cooperation."

"Yeah, well, I'll just lie here and cooperate until I get my neck back," he smiled.

The poking and prodding and conversation continued. The words were just background music unless they were directed toward him. The purple light bathed him in a peaceful feeling, and he was oblivious to the passage of time.

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