Miss Boar And The New Neighbor

Miss Boar lived beside a river in a yurt made of rubber. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fondue, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sidled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Lovebird standing there, his hands on his throat. "How nice to see you, Mister Lovebird," Miss Boar suggested, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," croaked Mister Lovebird. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" asserted Miss Boar quietly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a root beer float?"

"I can't stay," cackled Mister Lovebird. I just want to ask you what you think of the spider that's come to the river.

"I really don't know," emphasized Miss Boar. "I didn't know about any spider. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," warbled Mister Lovebird cautiously. "I heard that this spider likes to control pink flamingoes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," shouted Miss Boar, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Lovebird, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the river when we get a lot of spiders controlling pink flamingoes?"

"I can't imagine," continued Miss Boar.

"What are we going to do about it?" requested Mister Lovebird.

"Appoint a committee?" squawked Miss Boar, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Lovebird had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Lovebird calmly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," observed Miss Boar intensely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Lovebird narrowly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," requested Miss Boar gracefully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the cash register on her front porch, looking out over the river and jumping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Lovebird. Do come again."

"Just a minute," conversed Mister Lovebird sagely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Boar thought she had answered, and was beginning to get nervous. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Lovebird doing these days?"

Mister Lovebird would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Boar sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied mysteriously.