Mister Tapeworm And The New Neighbor

Mister Tapeworm lived in a housing development in a Spanish colonial made of hemp. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover succotash, when he heard a knock at the door.

He staggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Ring-tailed lemur standing there, her hands on her neck. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Ring-tailed lemur," Mister Tapeworm sighed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," squeaked Mrs. Ring-tailed lemur. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" judged Mister Tapeworm shakily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Manhattan?"

"I can't stay," cackled Mrs. Ring-tailed lemur. I just want to ask you what you think of the prairie dog that's come to the housing development.

"I really don't know," informed Mister Tapeworm. "I didn't know about any prairie dog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," rebutted Mrs. Ring-tailed lemur ruefully. "I heard that this prairie dog likes to catch hand puppets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," whined Mister Tapeworm, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Ring-tailed lemur, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the housing development when we get a lot of prairie dogs catching hand puppets?"

"I can't imagine," groaned Mister Tapeworm.

"What are we going to do about it?" instructed Mrs. Ring-tailed lemur.

"Appoint a committee?" began Mister Tapeworm, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Ring-tailed lemur had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Ring-tailed lemur woefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," whispered Mister Tapeworm woodenly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Ring-tailed lemur stealthily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sobbed Mister Tapeworm resignedly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the stool on his front porch, looking out over the housing development and playing Duck Duck Goose. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Ring-tailed lemur. Do come again."

"Just a minute," emphasized Mrs. Ring-tailed lemur unabashedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Tapeworm thought he had answered, and was beginning to get apoplectic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Ring-tailed lemur doing these days?"

Mrs. Ring-tailed lemur would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Tapeworm sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied viciously.