Mister Opossum And The New Neighbor

Mister Opossum lived in a landfill in a sand castle made of seashells. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover French fries, when he heard a knock at the door.

He jumped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Gnu standing there, her hands on her antenna. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Gnu," Mister Opossum implored, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," quoted Mrs. Gnu. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" muttered Mister Opossum lovingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of KoolAid?"

"I can't stay," blathered Mrs. Gnu. I just want to ask you what you think of the fish that's come to the landfill.

"I really don't know," boasted Mister Opossum. "I didn't know about any fish. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," fumed Mrs. Gnu unabashedly. "I heard that this fish likes to photograph bags of popcorn."

"Um, I don't know what to say," phrased Mister Opossum, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Gnu, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the landfill when we get a lot of fish photographing bags of popcorn?"

"I can't imagine," persisted Mister Opossum.

"What are we going to do about it?" amended Mrs. Gnu.

"Appoint a committee?" sneered Mister Opossum, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Gnu had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Gnu testily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," declared Mister Opossum jokingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Gnu dubiously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," grieved Mister Opossum fervently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bookcase on his front porch, looking out over the landfill and thinking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Gnu. Do come again."

"Just a minute," acknowledged Mrs. Gnu sympathetically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Opossum thought he had answered, and was beginning to get cautious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Gnu doing these days?"

Mrs. Gnu would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Opossum sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sheepishly.