Mister Tarantula And The New Neighbor

Mister Tarantula lived on a prairie in a hotel made of brick. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken gumbo, when he heard a knock at the door.

He blundered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Doberman standing there, her hands on her belly. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Doberman," Mister Tarantula rumored, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," observed Mrs. Doberman. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" offered Mister Tarantula nervously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a rum and Coke?"

"I can't stay," expressed Mrs. Doberman. I just want to ask you what you think of the ass that's come to the prairie.

"I really don't know," mused Mister Tarantula. "I didn't know about any ass. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," conversed Mrs. Doberman angrily. "I heard that this ass likes to dye bowling balls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," expressed Mister Tarantula, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Doberman, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the prairie when we get a lot of asses dyeing bowling balls?"

"I can't imagine," howled Mister Tarantula.

"What are we going to do about it?" guessed Mrs. Doberman.

"Appoint a committee?" sniped Mister Tarantula, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Doberman had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Doberman hopelessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," giggled Mister Tarantula bravely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Doberman softly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," screamed Mister Tarantula urgently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the computer on his front porch, looking out over the prairie and groaning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Doberman. Do come again."

"Just a minute," intimated Mrs. Doberman delicately. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Tarantula thought he had answered, and was beginning to get fierce. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Doberman doing these days?"

Mrs. Doberman would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Tarantula sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied crazily.