Miss Lion And The New Neighbor

Miss Lion lived in a hayfield in a nunnery made of brick. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover beef bouillon, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sprinted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Pigeon standing there, his hands on his earlobe. "How nice to see you, Mister Pigeon," Miss Lion railed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," trumpeted Mister Pigeon. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" wept Miss Lion patiently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin and tonic?"

"I can't stay," insisted Mister Pigeon. I just want to ask you what you think of the rat that's come to the hayfield.

"I really don't know," babbled Miss Lion. "I didn't know about any rat. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," reasoned Mister Pigeon strangely. "I heard that this rat likes to paint pink flamingoes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," informed Miss Lion, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Pigeon, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hayfield when we get a lot of rats painting pink flamingoes?"

"I can't imagine," agreed Miss Lion.

"What are we going to do about it?" panted Mister Pigeon.

"Appoint a committee?" maintained Miss Lion, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Pigeon had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Pigeon excitedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," peeped Miss Lion angrily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Pigeon bravely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," bawled Miss Lion sourly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the file cabinet on her front porch, looking out over the hayfield and crying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Pigeon. Do come again."

"Just a minute," lectured Mister Pigeon again. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Lion thought she had answered, and was beginning to get hirsute. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Pigeon doing these days?"

Mister Pigeon would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Lion sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied ferociously.