Mister Porcupine And The New Neighbor

Mister Porcupine lived at a seashore in a skyscraper made of metal. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover steak, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sailed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Gerbil standing there, her hands on her lung. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Gerbil," Mister Porcupine raved, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," chattered Mrs. Gerbil. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" grieved Mister Porcupine carelessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of tequila?"

"I can't stay," barked Mrs. Gerbil. I just want to ask you what you think of the android that's come to the seashore.

"I really don't know," declared Mister Porcupine. "I didn't know about any android. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," wailed Mrs. Gerbil suspiciously. "I heard that this android likes to shellac hubcaps."

"Um, I don't know what to say," growled Mister Porcupine, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Gerbil, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the seashore when we get a lot of androids shellacking hubcaps?"

"I can't imagine," indicated Mister Porcupine.

"What are we going to do about it?" sniveled Mrs. Gerbil.

"Appoint a committee?" growled Mister Porcupine, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Gerbil had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Gerbil impatiently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," judged Mister Porcupine defiantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Gerbil daintily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," chattered Mister Porcupine thoughtfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the dining table on his front porch, looking out over the seashore and staring. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Gerbil. Do come again."

"Just a minute," guessed Mrs. Gerbil caustically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Porcupine thought he had answered, and was beginning to get paranoid. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Gerbil doing these days?"

Mrs. Gerbil would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Porcupine sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied furiously.