Mister Beetle And The New Neighbor

Mister Beetle lived on a wasteland in an apartment made of pine logs. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover moo goo gai pan, when he heard a knock at the door.

He trekked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Kitten standing there, her hands on her forehead. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Kitten," Mister Beetle suggested, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," burbled Mrs. Kitten. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" preached Mister Beetle positively, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mai Tai?"

"I can't stay," revealed Mrs. Kitten. I just want to ask you what you think of the hog that's come to the wasteland.

"I really don't know," persisted Mister Beetle. "I didn't know about any hog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sighed Mrs. Kitten brightly. "I heard that this hog likes to crush cowbells."

"Um, I don't know what to say," squealed Mister Beetle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Kitten, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the wasteland when we get a lot of hogs crushing cowbells?"

"I can't imagine," blustered Mister Beetle.

"What are we going to do about it?" chanted Mrs. Kitten.

"Appoint a committee?" quavered Mister Beetle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Kitten had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Kitten quietly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," realized Mister Beetle sagely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Kitten narrowly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," judged Mister Beetle dolorously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the recliner on his front porch, looking out over the wasteland and rolling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Kitten. Do come again."

"Just a minute," contended Mrs. Kitten impatiently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Beetle thought he had answered, and was beginning to get haggard. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Kitten doing these days?"

Mrs. Kitten would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Beetle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied breathlessly.