Mister Crocodile And The New Neighbor

Mister Crocodile lived in a meadow in a duplex made of epoxy. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pie a la mode, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Siamese cat standing there, her hands on her toenail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Siamese cat," Mister Crocodile barked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," thought Mrs. Siamese cat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" growled Mister Crocodile suddenly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of buttermilk?"

"I can't stay," mouthed Mrs. Siamese cat. I just want to ask you what you think of the turtle that's come to the meadow.

"I really don't know," smiled Mister Crocodile. "I didn't know about any turtle. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," decided Mrs. Siamese cat cautiously. "I heard that this turtle likes to glue chains."

"Um, I don't know what to say," avowed Mister Crocodile, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Siamese cat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the meadow when we get a lot of turtles gluing chains?"

"I can't imagine," acknowledged Mister Crocodile.

"What are we going to do about it?" brought up Mrs. Siamese cat.

"Appoint a committee?" exploded Mister Crocodile, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Siamese cat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Siamese cat furiously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," interpreted Mister Crocodile gingerly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Siamese cat reluctantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," orated Mister Crocodile carefully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the ottoman on his front porch, looking out over the meadow and inhaling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Siamese cat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," fumed Mrs. Siamese cat languidly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Crocodile thought he had answered, and was beginning to get hairy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Siamese cat doing these days?"

Mrs. Siamese cat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Crocodile sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied patiently.