Mister Oyster And The New Neighbor

Mister Oyster lived on a beach in a studio made of fabric. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lime sherbet, when he heard a knock at the door.

He swung to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Snake standing there, his hands on his femur. "How nice to see you, Mister Snake," Mister Oyster requested, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," growled Mister Snake. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" observed Mister Oyster lamely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bloody Mary?"

"I can't stay," voiced Mister Snake. I just want to ask you what you think of the chipmunk that's come to the beach.

"I really don't know," emphasized Mister Oyster. "I didn't know about any chipmunk. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," squawked Mister Snake deftly. "I heard that this chipmunk likes to vacuum umbrellas."

"Um, I don't know what to say," avowed Mister Oyster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Snake, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the beach when we get a lot of chipmunks vacuuming umbrellas?"

"I can't imagine," shuddered Mister Oyster.

"What are we going to do about it?" purred Mister Snake.

"Appoint a committee?" snorted Mister Oyster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Snake had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Snake humbly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sniffed Mister Oyster gratefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Snake stupidly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," fantasized Mister Oyster peevishly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the carpet on his front porch, looking out over the beach and rolling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Snake. Do come again."

"Just a minute," burbled Mister Snake excitedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Oyster thought he had answered, and was beginning to get smart. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Snake doing these days?"

Mister Snake would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Oyster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sagely.