Mister Jaguar And The New Neighbor

Mister Jaguar lived in a village in a motel made of gravel. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pretzels, when he heard a knock at the door.

He barrelled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Boa constrictor standing there, his hands on his cheek. "How nice to see you, Mister Boa constrictor," Mister Jaguar groveled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," barked Mister Boa constrictor. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" boasted Mister Jaguar ignobly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin fizz?"

"I can't stay," squealed Mister Boa constrictor. I just want to ask you what you think of the bison that's come to the village.

"I really don't know," rumored Mister Jaguar. "I didn't know about any bison. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," bragged Mister Boa constrictor lickety-split. "I heard that this bison likes to strip sacks of potatoes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," quavered Mister Jaguar, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Boa constrictor, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the village when we get a lot of bison stripping sacks of potatoes?"

"I can't imagine," moaned Mister Jaguar.

"What are we going to do about it?" yawned Mister Boa constrictor.

"Appoint a committee?" snarled Mister Jaguar, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Boa constrictor had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Boa constrictor reluctantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," belched Mister Jaguar hungrily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Boa constrictor despondently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," warbled Mister Jaguar gently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the casket on his front porch, looking out over the village and meditating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Boa constrictor. Do come again."

"Just a minute," pointed out Mister Boa constrictor frantically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Jaguar thought he had answered, and was beginning to get modest. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Boa constrictor doing these days?"

Mister Boa constrictor would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Jaguar sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied grandly.