Mister Llama And The New Neighbor

Mister Llama lived in a gulch in a chapel made of antimatter. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prune pudding, when he heard a knock at the door.

He reeled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Alligator standing there, his hands on his tongue. "How nice to see you, Mister Alligator," Mister Llama chattered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," judged Mister Alligator. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" harangued Mister Llama repeatedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot buttered rum?"

"I can't stay," lamented Mister Alligator. I just want to ask you what you think of the Guinea pig that's come to the gulch.

"I really don't know," continued Mister Llama. "I didn't know about any Guinea pig. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," jeered Mister Alligator roughly. "I heard that this Guinea pig likes to shrink houseplants."

"Um, I don't know what to say," giggled Mister Llama, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Alligator, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the gulch when we get a lot of Guinea pigs shrinking houseplants?"

"I can't imagine," moaned Mister Llama.

"What are we going to do about it?" guessed Mister Alligator.

"Appoint a committee?" yelled Mister Llama, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Alligator had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Alligator strictly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," squeaked Mister Llama humbly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Alligator violently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," groaned Mister Llama courageously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the fainting couch on his front porch, looking out over the gulch and murmuring. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Alligator. Do come again."

"Just a minute," implored Mister Alligator later. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Llama thought he had answered, and was beginning to get monstrous. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Alligator doing these days?"

Mister Alligator would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Llama sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied suspiciously.