Mister Deer And The New Neighbor

Mister Deer lived in a rainforest in a closet made of aluminum foil. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cornbread, when he heard a knock at the door.

He rolled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Lynx standing there, her hands on her big toe. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Lynx," Mister Deer thought, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," conversed Mrs. Lynx. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" stuttered Mister Deer crazily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of carrot juice?"

"I can't stay," fretted Mrs. Lynx. I just want to ask you what you think of the tapeworm that's come to the rainforest.

"I really don't know," interpreted Mister Deer. "I didn't know about any tapeworm. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," retorted Mrs. Lynx ruefully. "I heard that this tapeworm likes to throw bagpipes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," blustered Mister Deer, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Lynx, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the rainforest when we get a lot of tapeworms throwing bagpipes?"

"I can't imagine," instructed Mister Deer.

"What are we going to do about it?" orated Mrs. Lynx.

"Appoint a committee?" continued Mister Deer, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Lynx had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Lynx pityingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," breathed Mister Deer resignedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Lynx glumly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yelled Mister Deer courteously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bar stool on his front porch, looking out over the rainforest and barfing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Lynx. Do come again."

"Just a minute," gabbed Mrs. Lynx sarcastically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Deer thought he had answered, and was beginning to get hirsute. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Lynx doing these days?"

Mrs. Lynx would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Deer sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sheepishly.