Mister Pekingese And The New Neighbor

Mister Pekingese lived in a cave in a farmhouse made of gold. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fish and chips, when he heard a knock at the door.

He whirled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Mare standing there, his hands on his thumb. "How nice to see you, Mister Mare," Mister Pekingese expressed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," disputed Mister Mare. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" spouted Mister Pekingese anxiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Jack Daniel's?"

"I can't stay," warbled Mister Mare. I just want to ask you what you think of the lizard that's come to the cave.

"I really don't know," babbled Mister Pekingese. "I didn't know about any lizard. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," cried Mister Mare gratefully. "I heard that this lizard likes to melt coins."

"Um, I don't know what to say," tittered Mister Pekingese, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Mare, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cave when we get a lot of lizards melting coins?"

"I can't imagine," emphasized Mister Pekingese.

"What are we going to do about it?" instructed Mister Mare.

"Appoint a committee?" wailed Mister Pekingese, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Mare had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Mare sharply. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," croaked Mister Pekingese numbly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Mare ignobly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," chanted Mister Pekingese sharply, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the wooden crate on his front porch, looking out over the cave and playing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Mare. Do come again."

"Just a minute," persisted Mister Mare oddly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Pekingese thought he had answered, and was beginning to get stern. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Mare doing these days?"

Mister Mare would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Pekingese sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied wearily.