Miss Beetle And The New Neighbor

Miss Beetle lived in a pond in a monastery made of wicker. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fish and chips, when she heard a knock at the door.

She lurched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Dalmatian standing there, her hands on her Achilles tendon. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Dalmatian," Miss Beetle commented, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," smirked Mrs. Dalmatian. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" hissed Miss Beetle quietly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of Sanka?"

"I can't stay," implored Mrs. Dalmatian. I just want to ask you what you think of the hermit crab that's come to the pond.

"I really don't know," uttered Miss Beetle. "I didn't know about any hermit crab. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," thought Mrs. Dalmatian daringly. "I heard that this hermit crab likes to annoint watering cans."

"Um, I don't know what to say," muttered Miss Beetle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Dalmatian, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the pond when we get a lot of hermit crabs annointing watering cans?"

"I can't imagine," instructed Miss Beetle.

"What are we going to do about it?" debated Mrs. Dalmatian.

"Appoint a committee?" warbled Miss Beetle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Dalmatian had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Dalmatian excitedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," growled Miss Beetle silently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Dalmatian victoriously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," announced Miss Beetle clumsily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the filing cabinet on her front porch, looking out over the pond and purring. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Dalmatian. Do come again."

"Just a minute," crooned Mrs. Dalmatian strangely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Beetle thought she had answered, and was beginning to get refined. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Dalmatian doing these days?"

Mrs. Dalmatian would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Beetle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied dreamily.