Mister Shrew And The New Neighbor

Mister Shrew lived in a lagoon in a chapel made of gold bricks. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Froot Loops, when he heard a knock at the door.

He walked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Cobra standing there, her hands on her thigh. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Cobra," Mister Shrew suggested, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," gabbed Mrs. Cobra. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" rationalized Mister Shrew gruffly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a can of Ensure?"

"I can't stay," barked Mrs. Cobra. I just want to ask you what you think of the troll that's come to the lagoon.

"I really don't know," lamented Mister Shrew. "I didn't know about any troll. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chuckled Mrs. Cobra oddly. "I heard that this troll likes to twist tops."

"Um, I don't know what to say," professed Mister Shrew, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Cobra, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lagoon when we get a lot of trolls twisting tops?"

"I can't imagine," sighed Mister Shrew.

"What are we going to do about it?" fantasized Mrs. Cobra.

"Appoint a committee?" blustered Mister Shrew, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Cobra had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Cobra sarcastically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," suggested Mister Shrew greedily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Cobra suddenly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sneered Mister Shrew steadily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the dining table on his front porch, looking out over the lagoon and yelping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Cobra. Do come again."

"Just a minute," thought Mrs. Cobra dolorously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Shrew thought he had answered, and was beginning to get brilliant. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Cobra doing these days?"

Mrs. Cobra would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Shrew sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied cheerfully.