Mister Frog And The New Neighbor

Mister Frog lived on a battlefield in a convent made of rope. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mulligan stew, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slithered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Toad standing there, his hands on his ego. "How nice to see you, Mister Toad," Mister Frog accused, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," squealed Mister Toad. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" responded Mister Frog confidently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a daiquiri?"

"I can't stay," squealed Mister Toad. I just want to ask you what you think of the lovebird that's come to the battlefield.

"I really don't know," screeched Mister Frog. "I didn't know about any lovebird. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chattered Mister Toad grandly. "I heard that this lovebird likes to develop bird feeders."

"Um, I don't know what to say," instructed Mister Frog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Toad, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the battlefield when we get a lot of lovebirds developing bird feeders?"

"I can't imagine," invited Mister Frog.

"What are we going to do about it?" wailed Mister Toad.

"Appoint a committee?" repeated Mister Frog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Toad had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Toad confidently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," declaimed Mister Frog fearfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Toad merrily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," gasped Mister Frog carelessly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the mattress on his front porch, looking out over the battlefield and yawning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Toad. Do come again."

"Just a minute," acknowledged Mister Toad languidly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Frog thought he had answered, and was beginning to get puzzled. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Toad doing these days?"

Mister Toad would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Frog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied surreptitiously.