Mister Bat And The New Neighbor

Mister Bat lived on a tundra in a retreat made of Formica. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pumpkin pie, when he heard a knock at the door.

He flew to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Cockroach standing there, his hands on his skin. "How nice to see you, Mister Cockroach," Mister Bat lamented, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," queried Mister Cockroach. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" explained Mister Bat humbly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Long Island iced tea?"

"I can't stay," invited Mister Cockroach. I just want to ask you what you think of the kangaroo that's come to the tundra.

"I really don't know," noted Mister Bat. "I didn't know about any kangaroo. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," mentioned Mister Cockroach lightly. "I heard that this kangaroo likes to guard etchings."

"Um, I don't know what to say," mused Mister Bat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cockroach, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the tundra when we get a lot of kangaroos guarding etchings?"

"I can't imagine," reacted Mister Bat.

"What are we going to do about it?" fantasized Mister Cockroach.

"Appoint a committee?" bellowed Mister Bat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cockroach had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cockroach softly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," phrased Mister Bat stealthily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cockroach oddly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," piped up Mister Bat gleefully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the file cabinet on his front porch, looking out over the tundra and breathing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cockroach. Do come again."

"Just a minute," amended Mister Cockroach pitifully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Bat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get difficult. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cockroach doing these days?"

Mister Cockroach would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Bat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied ignobly.