Miss Rhinoceros And The New Neighbor

Miss Rhinoceros lived in a landfill in a teepee made of wattle and daub. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lamb curry, when she heard a knock at the door.

She whirled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister German Shepherd standing there, his hands on his carotid artery. "How nice to see you, Mister German Shepherd," Miss Rhinoceros answered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," fumed Mister German Shepherd. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" sputtered Miss Rhinoceros sheepishly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

"I can't stay," exclaimed Mister German Shepherd. I just want to ask you what you think of the lemur that's come to the landfill.

"I really don't know," declaimed Miss Rhinoceros. "I didn't know about any lemur. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," wondered Mister German Shepherd uselessly. "I heard that this lemur likes to grasp microphones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," opined Miss Rhinoceros, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister German Shepherd, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the landfill when we get a lot of lemurs grasping microphones?"

"I can't imagine," fantasized Miss Rhinoceros.

"What are we going to do about it?" enunciated Mister German Shepherd.

"Appoint a committee?" expressed Miss Rhinoceros, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister German Shepherd had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister German Shepherd steadily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," lamented Miss Rhinoceros noisily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister German Shepherd woefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," chimed Miss Rhinoceros accidentally, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the rocking chair on her front porch, looking out over the landfill and panting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister German Shepherd. Do come again."

"Just a minute," groaned Mister German Shepherd blissfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Rhinoceros thought she had answered, and was beginning to get cantankerous. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. German Shepherd doing these days?"

Mister German Shepherd would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Rhinoceros sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied carelessly.