Miss Seal And The New Neighbor

Miss Seal lived on a veld in a log cabin made of lithium. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover doughnuts, when she heard a knock at the door.

She flew to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Spider standing there, her hands on her femur. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Spider," Miss Seal reacted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," grunted Mrs. Spider. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" articulated Miss Seal nicely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a rum and Coke?"

"I can't stay," winked Mrs. Spider. I just want to ask you what you think of the fish that's come to the veld.

"I really don't know," bawled Miss Seal. "I didn't know about any fish. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," drawled Mrs. Spider grandly. "I heard that this fish likes to mutilate hot potatoes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," informed Miss Seal, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Spider, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the veld when we get a lot of fish mutilating hot potatoes?"

"I can't imagine," reacted Miss Seal.

"What are we going to do about it?" acknowledged Mrs. Spider.

"Appoint a committee?" asserted Miss Seal, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Spider had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Spider greedily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," reasoned Miss Seal lightly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Spider suspiciously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," harangued Miss Seal dubiously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the dishwasher on her front porch, looking out over the veld and snarling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Spider. Do come again."

"Just a minute," implored Mrs. Spider calmly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Seal thought she had answered, and was beginning to get miniscule. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Spider doing these days?"

Mrs. Spider would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Seal sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied clumsily.