Mister Gerbil And The New Neighbor

Mister Gerbil lived in a cornfield in a studio made of old rags. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hors d'oeuvre, when he heard a knock at the door.

He capered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Jellyfish standing there, his hands on his Adam's apple. "How nice to see you, Mister Jellyfish," Mister Gerbil analyzed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," breathed Mister Jellyfish. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" preached Mister Gerbil crossly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a whiskey sour?"

"I can't stay," proposed Mister Jellyfish. I just want to ask you what you think of the panda that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," sighed Mister Gerbil. "I didn't know about any panda. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," smiled Mister Jellyfish tenderly. "I heard that this panda likes to seal hacksaws."

"Um, I don't know what to say," conversed Mister Gerbil, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Jellyfish, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of pandas sealing hacksaws?"

"I can't imagine," preached Mister Gerbil.

"What are we going to do about it?" hollered Mister Jellyfish.

"Appoint a committee?" asked Mister Gerbil, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Jellyfish had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Jellyfish neatly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spat Mister Gerbil wildly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Jellyfish rapidly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," argued Mister Gerbil crazily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the hamper on his front porch, looking out over the cornfield and snickering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Jellyfish. Do come again."

"Just a minute," expressed Mister Jellyfish peevishly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Gerbil thought he had answered, and was beginning to get annoying. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Jellyfish doing these days?"

Mister Jellyfish would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Gerbil sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied menacingly.