Mister Spider And The New Neighbor

Mister Spider lived on a mountainside in a tent made of jewels. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover oyster on the half-shell, when he heard a knock at the door.

He darted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Anaconda standing there, his hands on his hip. "How nice to see you, Mister Anaconda," Mister Spider revealed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," complained Mister Anaconda. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" trumpeted Mister Spider bravely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an ice cream soda?"

"I can't stay," argued Mister Anaconda. I just want to ask you what you think of the toad that's come to the mountainside.

"I really don't know," guessed Mister Spider. "I didn't know about any toad. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," inquired Mister Anaconda fondly. "I heard that this toad likes to prod Kindles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," winked Mister Spider, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Anaconda, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountainside when we get a lot of toads prodding Kindles?"

"I can't imagine," snorted Mister Spider.

"What are we going to do about it?" mumbled Mister Anaconda.

"Appoint a committee?" revealed Mister Spider, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Anaconda had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Anaconda smoothly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," persisted Mister Spider busily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Anaconda angrily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," murmured Mister Spider hysterically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the billiard table on his front porch, looking out over the mountainside and coming over. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Anaconda. Do come again."

"Just a minute," cried Mister Anaconda daringly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Spider thought he had answered, and was beginning to get precocious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Anaconda doing these days?"

Mister Anaconda would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Spider sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied wearily.