Mister Raven And The New Neighbor

Mister Raven lived in a jungle in a yurt made of aluminum foil. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover doughnuts, when he heard a knock at the door.

He stalked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Bird standing there, his hands on his carotid artery. "How nice to see you, Mister Bird," Mister Raven squealed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," stated Mister Bird. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" contended Mister Raven elatedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a daiquiri?"

"I can't stay," spewed Mister Bird. I just want to ask you what you think of the Siamese cat that's come to the jungle.

"I really don't know," drawled Mister Raven. "I didn't know about any Siamese cat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," interrupted Mister Bird busily. "I heard that this Siamese cat likes to lengthen apples."

"Um, I don't know what to say," implored Mister Raven, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Bird, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the jungle when we get a lot of Siamese cats lengthening apples?"

"I can't imagine," squealed Mister Raven.

"What are we going to do about it?" shouted Mister Bird.

"Appoint a committee?" gabbed Mister Raven, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Bird had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Bird dubiously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," ranted Mister Raven woodenly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Bird sadly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," announced Mister Raven immediately, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the desk on his front porch, looking out over the jungle and cheering up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Bird. Do come again."

"Just a minute," answered Mister Bird languidly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Raven thought he had answered, and was beginning to get distressed. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Bird doing these days?"

Mister Bird would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Raven sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied mysteriously.