Mister Fish And The New Neighbor

Mister Fish lived in a bog in a church made of seashells. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken pot pie, when he heard a knock at the door.

He stalked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Hornet standing there, her hands on her piehole. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Hornet," Mister Fish quoted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," shuddered Mrs. Hornet. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" simpered Mister Fish proudly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Alka-Seltzer?"

"I can't stay," whined Mrs. Hornet. I just want to ask you what you think of the fawn that's come to the bog.

"I really don't know," chortled Mister Fish. "I didn't know about any fawn. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," shouted Mrs. Hornet slyly. "I heard that this fawn likes to certify decks of cards."

"Um, I don't know what to say," said Mister Fish, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Hornet, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the bog when we get a lot of fawns certifying decks of cards?"

"I can't imagine," lectured Mister Fish.

"What are we going to do about it?" panted Mrs. Hornet.

"Appoint a committee?" continued Mister Fish, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Hornet had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Hornet happily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," orated Mister Fish victoriously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Hornet proudly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," whispered Mister Fish unabashedly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the hamper on his front porch, looking out over the bog and trembling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Hornet. Do come again."

"Just a minute," scoffed Mrs. Hornet strictly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Fish thought he had answered, and was beginning to get direct. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Hornet doing these days?"

Mrs. Hornet would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Fish sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied patiently.