Mister Louse And The New Neighbor

Mister Louse lived at a seashore in a duplex made of tar. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover scrambled eggs, when he heard a knock at the door.

He lumbered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Pekingese standing there, his hands on his knuckle. "How nice to see you, Mister Pekingese," Mister Louse enunciated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," taunted Mister Pekingese. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" contended Mister Louse majestically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a chocolate milk?"

"I can't stay," scoffed Mister Pekingese. I just want to ask you what you think of the crab that's come to the seashore.

"I really don't know," retorted Mister Louse. "I didn't know about any crab. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," informed Mister Pekingese busily. "I heard that this crab likes to dye bullwhips."

"Um, I don't know what to say," brought up Mister Louse, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Pekingese, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the seashore when we get a lot of crabs dyeing bullwhips?"

"I can't imagine," remarked Mister Louse.

"What are we going to do about it?" squealed Mister Pekingese.

"Appoint a committee?" jeered Mister Louse, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Pekingese had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Pekingese gruffly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," lamented Mister Louse thoughtfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Pekingese daringly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," clarified Mister Louse sleepily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the footstool on his front porch, looking out over the seashore and inhaling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Pekingese. Do come again."

"Just a minute," hollered Mister Pekingese quietly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Louse thought he had answered, and was beginning to get eccentric. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Pekingese doing these days?"

Mister Pekingese would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Louse sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied crossly.