Mister Spider And The New Neighbor

Mister Spider lived on a hillside in a sand castle made of logs. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover bread and butter, when he heard a knock at the door.

He waltzed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Mink standing there, her hands on her eyelash. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Mink," Mister Spider squeaked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," stormed Mrs. Mink. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" breathed Mister Spider majestically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of whiskey?"

"I can't stay," shrieked Mrs. Mink. I just want to ask you what you think of the salamander that's come to the hillside.

"I really don't know," winked Mister Spider. "I didn't know about any salamander. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sighed Mrs. Mink pityingly. "I heard that this salamander likes to identify cans of sardines."

"Um, I don't know what to say," exclaimed Mister Spider, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Mink, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hillside when we get a lot of salamanders identifying cans of sardines?"

"I can't imagine," yelped Mister Spider.

"What are we going to do about it?" joked Mrs. Mink.

"Appoint a committee?" bawled Mister Spider, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Mink had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Mink woodenly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," mumbled Mister Spider positively, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Mink irritably. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," articulated Mister Spider flightily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bookshelf on his front porch, looking out over the hillside and shaking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Mink. Do come again."

"Just a minute," grunted Mrs. Mink madly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Spider thought he had answered, and was beginning to get bald. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Mink doing these days?"

Mrs. Mink would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Spider sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied vacantly.