Mister Computer And The New Neighbor

Mister Computer lived in a cesspool in a manor house made of cardboard. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover biscuits and gravy, when he heard a knock at the door.

He skittered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Beetle standing there, his hands on his arm. "How nice to see you, Mister Beetle," Mister Computer rebutted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," conversed Mister Beetle. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" boomed Mister Computer timidly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bloody Mary?"

"I can't stay," sniveled Mister Beetle. I just want to ask you what you think of the hyena that's come to the cesspool.

"I really don't know," reminded Mister Computer. "I didn't know about any hyena. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," squealed Mister Beetle valiantly. "I heard that this hyena likes to drench cigars."

"Um, I don't know what to say," maintained Mister Computer, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Beetle, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cesspool when we get a lot of hyenas drenching cigars?"

"I can't imagine," railed Mister Computer.

"What are we going to do about it?" boasted Mister Beetle.

"Appoint a committee?" chattered Mister Computer, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Beetle had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Beetle sleepily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," cackled Mister Computer ruefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Beetle glibly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," screamed Mister Computer bitterly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cash register on his front porch, looking out over the cesspool and dancing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Beetle. Do come again."

"Just a minute," groveled Mister Beetle nicely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Computer thought he had answered, and was beginning to get beautiful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Beetle doing these days?"

Mister Beetle would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Computer sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied suddenly.