Mister Grasshopper And The New Neighbor

Mister Grasshopper lived in a badlands area in a nunnery made of tin. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover country glazed ham, when he heard a knock at the door.

He proceeded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Dolphin standing there, his hands on his eyelash. "How nice to see you, Mister Dolphin," Mister Grasshopper began, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," mouthed Mister Dolphin. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" snorted Mister Grasshopper warmly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

"I can't stay," smirked Mister Dolphin. I just want to ask you what you think of the anaconda that's come to the badlands area.

"I really don't know," reacted Mister Grasshopper. "I didn't know about any anaconda. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chuckled Mister Dolphin deliberately. "I heard that this anaconda likes to dislodge corks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," breathed Mister Grasshopper, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Dolphin, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the badlands area when we get a lot of anacondas dislodging corks?"

"I can't imagine," fumed Mister Grasshopper.

"What are we going to do about it?" inquired Mister Dolphin.

"Appoint a committee?" quavered Mister Grasshopper, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Dolphin had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Dolphin gently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," harangued Mister Grasshopper sorrowfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Dolphin thoughtfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," orated Mister Grasshopper admiringly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bed on his front porch, looking out over the badlands area and dilly-dallying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Dolphin. Do come again."

"Just a minute," persisted Mister Dolphin gruffly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Grasshopper thought he had answered, and was beginning to get jaunty. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Dolphin doing these days?"

Mister Dolphin would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Grasshopper sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied despondently.