Mister Gerbil And The New Neighbor

Mister Gerbil lived at an oasis in a resort made of oil and water. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover potatoes and gravy, when he heard a knock at the door.

He stormed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Dromedary standing there, his hands on his abdomen. "How nice to see you, Mister Dromedary," Mister Gerbil requested, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," howled Mister Dromedary. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" inquired Mister Gerbil grimly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a painkiller?"

"I can't stay," sneered Mister Dromedary. I just want to ask you what you think of the ox that's come to the oasis.

"I really don't know," whispered Mister Gerbil. "I didn't know about any ox. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," phrased Mister Dromedary deftly. "I heard that this ox likes to banish elephant tusks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," avowed Mister Gerbil, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Dromedary, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the oasis when we get a lot of oxen banishing elephant tusks?"

"I can't imagine," asked Mister Gerbil.

"What are we going to do about it?" squawked Mister Dromedary.

"Appoint a committee?" groveled Mister Gerbil, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Dromedary had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Dromedary courteously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," squealed Mister Gerbil strictly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Dromedary frantically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," muttered Mister Gerbil unabashedly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the fainting couch on his front porch, looking out over the oasis and clattering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Dromedary. Do come again."

"Just a minute," spewed Mister Dromedary surreptitiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Gerbil thought he had answered, and was beginning to get cute. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Dromedary doing these days?"

Mister Dromedary would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Gerbil sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied courageously.