Mister Beetle And The New Neighbor

Mister Beetle lived on a range in a parsonage made of stone. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fish and chips, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slithered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Meerkat standing there, her hands on her eyelash. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Meerkat," Mister Beetle mumbled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," simpered Mrs. Meerkat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" comforted Mister Beetle cheerfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a 7-Up?"

"I can't stay," judged Mrs. Meerkat. I just want to ask you what you think of the parakeet that's come to the range.

"I really don't know," guessed Mister Beetle. "I didn't know about any parakeet. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chanted Mrs. Meerkat automatically. "I heard that this parakeet likes to rattle floppy disks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," maintained Mister Beetle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Meerkat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the range when we get a lot of parakeets rattling floppy disks?"

"I can't imagine," murmured Mister Beetle.

"What are we going to do about it?" reasoned Mrs. Meerkat.

"Appoint a committee?" ranted Mister Beetle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Meerkat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Meerkat firmly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," gabbed Mister Beetle suddenly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Meerkat effortlessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sniveled Mister Beetle thoughtfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the recliner on his front porch, looking out over the range and doing the Hokey Pokey. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Meerkat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," called Mrs. Meerkat shyly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Beetle thought he had answered, and was beginning to get calm. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Meerkat doing these days?"

Mrs. Meerkat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Beetle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied hysterically.