Mister Gila Monster And The New Neighbor

Mister Gila monster lived on a butte in a villa made of wire. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cherries jubilee, when he heard a knock at the door.

He waded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Horse standing there, his hands on his kidney. "How nice to see you, Mister Horse," Mister Gila monster whimpered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," urged Mister Horse. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" debated Mister Gila monster frenetically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot buttered rum?"

"I can't stay," shuddered Mister Horse. I just want to ask you what you think of the turtle that's come to the butte.

"I really don't know," expressed Mister Gila monster. "I didn't know about any turtle. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," quoted Mister Horse tensely. "I heard that this turtle likes to select orchids."

"Um, I don't know what to say," analyzed Mister Gila monster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Horse, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the butte when we get a lot of turtles selecting orchids?"

"I can't imagine," demanded Mister Gila monster.

"What are we going to do about it?" giggled Mister Horse.

"Appoint a committee?" screamed Mister Gila monster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Horse had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Horse rapidly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," tittered Mister Gila monster strictly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Horse impatiently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," whined Mister Gila monster glumly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the dining table on his front porch, looking out over the butte and calming down. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Horse. Do come again."

"Just a minute," hummed Mister Horse breathlessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Gila monster thought he had answered, and was beginning to get attractive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Horse doing these days?"

Mister Horse would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Gila monster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied dreamily.