Mister Bandicoot And The New Neighbor

Mister Bandicoot lived on an island in a manor house made of matchsticks. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lamb curry, when he heard a knock at the door.

He skipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Raccoon standing there, her hands on her palm. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Raccoon," Mister Bandicoot mused, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," bawled Mrs. Raccoon. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" declared Mister Bandicoot reluctantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of KoolAid?"

"I can't stay," mouthed Mrs. Raccoon. I just want to ask you what you think of the Dalmatian that's come to the island.

"I really don't know," responded Mister Bandicoot. "I didn't know about any Dalmatian. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," comforted Mrs. Raccoon caustically. "I heard that this Dalmatian likes to dust fountain pens."

"Um, I don't know what to say," yelped Mister Bandicoot, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Raccoon, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the island when we get a lot of Dalmatians dusting fountain pens?"

"I can't imagine," sniped Mister Bandicoot.

"What are we going to do about it?" worried Mrs. Raccoon.

"Appoint a committee?" barked Mister Bandicoot, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Raccoon had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Raccoon tenderly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," hollered Mister Bandicoot rapidly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Raccoon lightly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," croaked Mister Bandicoot effortlessly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cushion on his front porch, looking out over the island and watching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Raccoon. Do come again."

"Just a minute," burbled Mrs. Raccoon courageously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Bandicoot thought he had answered, and was beginning to get mean. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Raccoon doing these days?"

Mrs. Raccoon would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Bandicoot sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied happily.