Miss Tsetse Fly And The New Neighbor

Miss Tsetse fly lived in a swamp in a hovel made of denim. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Swiss cheese, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sauntered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Swan standing there, his hands on his eye. "How nice to see you, Mister Swan," Miss Tsetse fly declaimed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," exploded Mister Swan. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" chortled Miss Tsetse fly neatly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a bottle of Gatorade?"

"I can't stay," pleaded Mister Swan. I just want to ask you what you think of the giraffe that's come to the swamp.

"I really don't know," crooned Miss Tsetse fly. "I didn't know about any giraffe. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," harangued Mister Swan violently. "I heard that this giraffe likes to slap accordions."

"Um, I don't know what to say," quoted Miss Tsetse fly, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Swan, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the swamp when we get a lot of giraffes slapping accordions?"

"I can't imagine," fantasized Miss Tsetse fly.

"What are we going to do about it?" inquired Mister Swan.

"Appoint a committee?" mouthed Miss Tsetse fly, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Swan had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Swan cruelly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," yowled Miss Tsetse fly sympathetically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Swan strictly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," continued Miss Tsetse fly testily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the casket on her front porch, looking out over the swamp and laughing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Swan. Do come again."

"Just a minute," grieved Mister Swan jokingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Tsetse fly thought she had answered, and was beginning to get ladylike. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Swan doing these days?"

Mister Swan would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Tsetse fly sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied immediately.