Miss Monster And The New Neighbor

Miss Monster lived in a buffalo wallow in a retreat made of tar. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken pot pie, when she heard a knock at the door.

She loped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Antelope standing there, his hands on his gut. "How nice to see you, Mister Antelope," Miss Monster simpered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," squealed Mister Antelope. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" pronounced Miss Monster dolorously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of papaya juice?"

"I can't stay," jeered Mister Antelope. I just want to ask you what you think of the rhinoceros that's come to the buffalo wallow.

"I really don't know," groaned Miss Monster. "I didn't know about any rhinoceros. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," simpered Mister Antelope thankfully. "I heard that this rhinoceros likes to handle Band-aids."

"Um, I don't know what to say," groveled Miss Monster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Antelope, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the buffalo wallow when we get a lot of rhinoceroses handling Band-aids?"

"I can't imagine," realized Miss Monster.

"What are we going to do about it?" piped up Mister Antelope.

"Appoint a committee?" amended Miss Monster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Antelope had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Antelope slyly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," yammered Miss Monster crankily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Antelope glumly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," croaked Miss Monster ferociously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the fainting couch on her front porch, looking out over the buffalo wallow and looking dumb. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Antelope. Do come again."

"Just a minute," whined Mister Antelope blankly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Monster thought she had answered, and was beginning to get sleepy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Antelope doing these days?"

Mister Antelope would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Monster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied truculently.