Miss Pig And The New Neighbor

Miss Pig lived on a prairie in a flat made of cork. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cotton candy, when she heard a knock at the door.

She swaggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Squirrel standing there, her hands on her throat. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Squirrel," Miss Pig interrupted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," expressed Mrs. Squirrel. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" lamented Miss Pig caustically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Brandy Alexander?"

"I can't stay," alleged Mrs. Squirrel. I just want to ask you what you think of the hippopotamus that's come to the prairie.

"I really don't know," maintained Miss Pig. "I didn't know about any hippopotamus. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," spat Mrs. Squirrel sadly. "I heard that this hippopotamus likes to sharpen computers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," vouched Miss Pig, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Squirrel, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the prairie when we get a lot of hippopotami sharpening computers?"

"I can't imagine," groaned Miss Pig.

"What are we going to do about it?" insisted Mrs. Squirrel.

"Appoint a committee?" snarled Miss Pig, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Squirrel had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Squirrel effortlessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," nattered Miss Pig sarcastically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Squirrel intensely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," gasped Miss Pig courteously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the credenza on her front porch, looking out over the prairie and looking puzzled. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Squirrel. Do come again."

"Just a minute," voiced Mrs. Squirrel languidly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Pig thought she had answered, and was beginning to get vacuous. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Squirrel doing these days?"

Mrs. Squirrel would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Pig sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied awkwardly.