Mister Boa Constrictor And The New Neighbor

Mister Boa constrictor lived in a marsh in a condominium made of papier-mâché. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast beef, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Burro standing there, her hands on her lung. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Burro," Mister Boa constrictor swore, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," chortled Mrs. Burro. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" bragged Mister Boa constrictor again, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Seven and Seven?"

"I can't stay," argued Mrs. Burro. I just want to ask you what you think of the cheetah that's come to the marsh.

"I really don't know," vouched Mister Boa constrictor. "I didn't know about any cheetah. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," acknowledged Mrs. Burro lamely. "I heard that this cheetah likes to abuse acorns."

"Um, I don't know what to say," chortled Mister Boa constrictor, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Burro, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the marsh when we get a lot of cheetahs abusing acorns?"

"I can't imagine," blubbered Mister Boa constrictor.

"What are we going to do about it?" stammered Mrs. Burro.

"Appoint a committee?" suggested Mister Boa constrictor, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Burro had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Burro lovingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," whispered Mister Boa constrictor pityingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Burro unexpectedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," avowed Mister Boa constrictor demurely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the ping-pong table on his front porch, looking out over the marsh and barking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Burro. Do come again."

"Just a minute," indicated Mrs. Burro warmly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Boa constrictor thought he had answered, and was beginning to get colorless. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Burro doing these days?"

Mrs. Burro would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Boa constrictor sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied grandly.