Mister Mountain Goat And The New Neighbor

Mister Mountain goat lived in a valley in a wikiup made of string. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Froot Loops, when he heard a knock at the door.

He bolted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Troll standing there, her hands on her thorax. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Troll," Mister Mountain goat blubbered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," whined Mrs. Troll. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" whined Mister Mountain goat gratefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Jack Daniel's?"

"I can't stay," questioned Mrs. Troll. I just want to ask you what you think of the otter that's come to the valley.

"I really don't know," revealed Mister Mountain goat. "I didn't know about any otter. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," offered Mrs. Troll obediently. "I heard that this otter likes to lynch buttons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," retorted Mister Mountain goat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Troll, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the valley when we get a lot of otters lynching buttons?"

"I can't imagine," hollered Mister Mountain goat.

"What are we going to do about it?" raved Mrs. Troll.

"Appoint a committee?" sniveled Mister Mountain goat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Troll had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Troll nervously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," laughed Mister Mountain goat hopefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Troll flightily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," protested Mister Mountain goat crankily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the chest of drawers on his front porch, looking out over the valley and seething. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Troll. Do come again."

"Just a minute," debated Mrs. Troll awkwardly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Mountain goat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get naïve. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Troll doing these days?"

Mrs. Troll would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Mountain goat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sympathetically.