Mister Chameleon And The New Neighbor

Mister Chameleon lived in an arroyo in a homeless shelter made of tin. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hors d'oeuvre, when he heard a knock at the door.

He galumphed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Cocker spaniel standing there, his hands on his Achilles tendon. "How nice to see you, Mister Cocker spaniel," Mister Chameleon swore, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," intoned Mister Cocker spaniel. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" jeered Mister Chameleon grimly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an old fashioned?"

"I can't stay," snarled Mister Cocker spaniel. I just want to ask you what you think of the mustang that's come to the arroyo.

"I really don't know," shrieked Mister Chameleon. "I didn't know about any mustang. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," fumed Mister Cocker spaniel despondently. "I heard that this mustang likes to understand screwdrivers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," wept Mister Chameleon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cocker spaniel, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the arroyo when we get a lot of mustangs understanding screwdrivers?"

"I can't imagine," spouted Mister Chameleon.

"What are we going to do about it?" whined Mister Cocker spaniel.

"Appoint a committee?" snorted Mister Chameleon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cocker spaniel had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cocker spaniel glumly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," barked Mister Chameleon angrily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cocker spaniel despondently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," murmured Mister Chameleon positively, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the hope chest on his front porch, looking out over the arroyo and meditating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cocker spaniel. Do come again."

"Just a minute," instructed Mister Cocker spaniel lovingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Chameleon thought he had answered, and was beginning to get jaunty. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cocker spaniel doing these days?"

Mister Cocker spaniel would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Chameleon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied narrowly.