Miss Dachshund And The New Neighbor

Miss Dachshund lived in a gulch in a log cabin made of antimatter. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover doughnuts, when she heard a knock at the door.

She galumphed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Duck-billed platypus standing there, her hands on her brain. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Duck-billed platypus," Miss Dachshund recited, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," rambled Mrs. Duck-billed platypus. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" giggled Miss Dachshund primly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of buttermilk?"

"I can't stay," murmured Mrs. Duck-billed platypus. I just want to ask you what you think of the beaver that's come to the gulch.

"I really don't know," yelled Miss Dachshund. "I didn't know about any beaver. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," acknowledged Mrs. Duck-billed platypus resignedly. "I heard that this beaver likes to crack iPhones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," mumbled Miss Dachshund, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Duck-billed platypus, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the gulch when we get a lot of beavers cracking iPhones?"

"I can't imagine," winked Miss Dachshund.

"What are we going to do about it?" breathed Mrs. Duck-billed platypus.

"Appoint a committee?" babbled Miss Dachshund, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Duck-billed platypus had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Duck-billed platypus mysteriously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," began Miss Dachshund warily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Duck-billed platypus grandly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," judged Miss Dachshund ruefully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the filing cabinet on her front porch, looking out over the gulch and swooning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Duck-billed platypus. Do come again."

"Just a minute," roared Mrs. Duck-billed platypus rapidly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Dachshund thought she had answered, and was beginning to get suave. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Duck-billed platypus doing these days?"

Mrs. Duck-billed platypus would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Dachshund sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied breathlessly.