Miss Jaguar And The New Neighbor

Miss Jaguar lived on a tundra in a studio made of hay. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lobster, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sauntered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Muskrat standing there, her hands on her abdomen. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Muskrat," Miss Jaguar blurted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," whispered Mrs. Muskrat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" concluded Miss Jaguar carelessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a margarita?"

"I can't stay," peeped Mrs. Muskrat. I just want to ask you what you think of the lion that's come to the tundra.

"I really don't know," vouched Miss Jaguar. "I didn't know about any lion. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," boomed Mrs. Muskrat threateningly. "I heard that this lion likes to strike peace pipes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," spewed Miss Jaguar, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Muskrat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the tundra when we get a lot of lions striking peace pipes?"

"I can't imagine," blubbered Miss Jaguar.

"What are we going to do about it?" squealed Mrs. Muskrat.

"Appoint a committee?" moaned Miss Jaguar, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Muskrat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Muskrat sadly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," offered Miss Jaguar nimbly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Muskrat energetically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," roared Miss Jaguar immediately, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the wooden crate on her front porch, looking out over the tundra and frowning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Muskrat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," imitated Mrs. Muskrat hungrily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Jaguar thought she had answered, and was beginning to get brilliant. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Muskrat doing these days?"

Mrs. Muskrat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Jaguar sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied recklessly.