Miss Orangutan And The New Neighbor

Miss Orangutan lived on a mountainside in a chapel made of old tires. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover catfish stew, when she heard a knock at the door.

She jumped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Wolverine standing there, his hands on his hand. "How nice to see you, Mister Wolverine," Miss Orangutan mouthed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," demanded Mister Wolverine. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" instructed Miss Orangutan oddly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Jack Daniel's?"

"I can't stay," cackled Mister Wolverine. I just want to ask you what you think of the buffalo that's come to the mountainside.

"I really don't know," agreed Miss Orangutan. "I didn't know about any buffalo. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," questioned Mister Wolverine smoothly. "I heard that this buffalo likes to manage dictionaries."

"Um, I don't know what to say," shrieked Miss Orangutan, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Wolverine, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountainside when we get a lot of buffalo managing dictionaries?"

"I can't imagine," urged Miss Orangutan.

"What are we going to do about it?" begged Mister Wolverine.

"Appoint a committee?" retorted Miss Orangutan, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Wolverine had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Wolverine needlessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sniped Miss Orangutan elatedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Wolverine narrowly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," stammered Miss Orangutan sternly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the billiard table on her front porch, looking out over the mountainside and praying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Wolverine. Do come again."

"Just a minute," clarified Mister Wolverine shakily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Orangutan thought she had answered, and was beginning to get witty. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Wolverine doing these days?"

Mister Wolverine would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Orangutan sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied zestily.