Mister Porcupine And The New Neighbor

Mister Porcupine lived alongside a stream in a closet made of cast iron. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cabbage, when he heard a knock at the door.

He bounded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Newt standing there, his hands on his femur. "How nice to see you, Mister Newt," Mister Porcupine informed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," shouted Mister Newt. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" lamented Mister Porcupine happily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a sarsaparilla?"

"I can't stay," boasted Mister Newt. I just want to ask you what you think of the dog that's come to the stream.

"I really don't know," laughed Mister Porcupine. "I didn't know about any dog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," urged Mister Newt speedily. "I heard that this dog likes to lick corks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," phrased Mister Porcupine, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Newt, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the stream when we get a lot of dogs licking corks?"

"I can't imagine," prattled Mister Porcupine.

"What are we going to do about it?" responded Mister Newt.

"Appoint a committee?" swore Mister Porcupine, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Newt had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Newt lamely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," warbled Mister Porcupine briskly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Newt elatedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," stormed Mister Porcupine bitterly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the counter on his front porch, looking out over the stream and playing Duck Duck Goose. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Newt. Do come again."

"Just a minute," stammered Mister Newt later. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Porcupine thought he had answered, and was beginning to get muscular. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Newt doing these days?"

Mister Newt would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Porcupine sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied nicely.