Mister Rooster And The New Neighbor

Mister Rooster lived in an arroyo in a villa made of fiberglass. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chocolate-covered ants, when he heard a knock at the door.

He lurched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Oyster standing there, her hands on her bladder. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Oyster," Mister Rooster questioned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," squawked Mrs. Oyster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" cajoled Mister Rooster uneasily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot chocolate?"

"I can't stay," cackled Mrs. Oyster. I just want to ask you what you think of the goldfish that's come to the arroyo.

"I really don't know," groaned Mister Rooster. "I didn't know about any goldfish. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," called Mrs. Oyster temperamentally. "I heard that this goldfish likes to stab tablet computers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," railed Mister Rooster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Oyster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the arroyo when we get a lot of goldfish stabbing tablet computers?"

"I can't imagine," whimpered Mister Rooster.

"What are we going to do about it?" articulated Mrs. Oyster.

"Appoint a committee?" commented Mister Rooster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Oyster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Oyster fondly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," whined Mister Rooster glumly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Oyster wryly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," mused Mister Rooster cruelly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the washstand on his front porch, looking out over the arroyo and partying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Oyster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," belched Mrs. Oyster happily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Rooster thought he had answered, and was beginning to get spunky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Oyster doing these days?"

Mrs. Oyster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Rooster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied charmingly.