Mister Mare And The New Neighbor

Mister Mare lived in a cornfield in a quonset hut made of string. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover smoked salmon, when he heard a knock at the door.

He traipsed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Yeti standing there, his hands on his ego. "How nice to see you, Mister Yeti," Mister Mare raved, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," acknowledged Mister Yeti. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" warbled Mister Mare surreptitiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Sangría?"

"I can't stay," blathered Mister Yeti. I just want to ask you what you think of the iguana that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," said Mister Mare. "I didn't know about any iguana. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," explained Mister Yeti sternly. "I heard that this iguana likes to re-evaluate floppy disks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," answered Mister Mare, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Yeti, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of iguanas re-evaluating floppy disks?"

"I can't imagine," whimpered Mister Mare.

"What are we going to do about it?" chanted Mister Yeti.

"Appoint a committee?" repeated Mister Mare, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Yeti had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Yeti carelessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," murmured Mister Mare jokingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Yeti sourly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," articulated Mister Mare blankly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the dishwasher on his front porch, looking out over the cornfield and pondering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Yeti. Do come again."

"Just a minute," stammered Mister Yeti frenetically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Mare thought he had answered, and was beginning to get awkward. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Yeti doing these days?"

Mister Yeti would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Mare sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied firmly.