Miss Newt And The New Neighbor

Miss Newt lived in a hayfield in a Victorian mansion made of silver. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pancakes, when she heard a knock at the door.

She strolled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Penguin standing there, her hands on her larynx. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Penguin," Miss Newt whimpered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," answered Mrs. Penguin. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" urged Miss Newt nervously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot toddy?"

"I can't stay," sputtered Mrs. Penguin. I just want to ask you what you think of the magpie that's come to the hayfield.

"I really don't know," croaked Miss Newt. "I didn't know about any magpie. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sighed Mrs. Penguin lamely. "I heard that this magpie likes to stabilize knitting needles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," bellowed Miss Newt, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Penguin, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hayfield when we get a lot of magpies stabilizing knitting needles?"

"I can't imagine," interpreted Miss Newt.

"What are we going to do about it?" worried Mrs. Penguin.

"Appoint a committee?" voiced Miss Newt, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Penguin had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Penguin bravely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," giggled Miss Newt carelessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Penguin patiently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," lamented Miss Newt dolorously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bar stool on her front porch, looking out over the hayfield and primping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Penguin. Do come again."

"Just a minute," conversed Mrs. Penguin bitterly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Newt thought she had answered, and was beginning to get cowardly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Penguin doing these days?"

Mrs. Penguin would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Newt sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied queerly.