Miss Bird And The New Neighbor

Miss Bird lived in a marsh in a monastery made of cinder block. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cotton candy, when she heard a knock at the door.

She capered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Dodo bird standing there, his hands on his Adam's apple. "How nice to see you, Mister Dodo bird," Miss Bird raved, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," intoned Mister Dodo bird. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" roared Miss Bird offhandedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Coke?"

"I can't stay," brought up Mister Dodo bird. I just want to ask you what you think of the ostrich that's come to the marsh.

"I really don't know," mouthed Miss Bird. "I didn't know about any ostrich. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," smirked Mister Dodo bird quickly. "I heard that this ostrich likes to whip billfolds."

"Um, I don't know what to say," thought Miss Bird, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Dodo bird, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the marsh when we get a lot of ostriches whipping billfolds?"

"I can't imagine," exclaimed Miss Bird.

"What are we going to do about it?" continued Mister Dodo bird.

"Appoint a committee?" groveled Miss Bird, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Dodo bird had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Dodo bird queerly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," groveled Miss Bird cruelly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Dodo bird oddly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," taunted Miss Bird boldly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the ottoman on her front porch, looking out over the marsh and shaking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Dodo bird. Do come again."

"Just a minute," blubbered Mister Dodo bird jokingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Bird thought she had answered, and was beginning to get friendly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Dodo bird doing these days?"

Mister Dodo bird would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Bird sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied gruffly.