Miss Cow And The New Neighbor

Miss Cow lived in a briar patch in a Victorian mansion made of oil and water. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hot dogs, when she heard a knock at the door.

She tramped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Fox standing there, his hands on his spinal cord. "How nice to see you, Mister Fox," Miss Cow rationalized, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," pronounced Mister Fox. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" wailed Miss Cow cautiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a martini?"

"I can't stay," sputtered Mister Fox. I just want to ask you what you think of the lizard that's come to the briar patch.

"I really don't know," blathered Miss Cow. "I didn't know about any lizard. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," peeped Mister Fox merrily. "I heard that this lizard likes to pulverize pain pills."

"Um, I don't know what to say," fantasized Miss Cow, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Fox, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the briar patch when we get a lot of lizards pulverizing pain pills?"

"I can't imagine," professed Miss Cow.

"What are we going to do about it?" divulged Mister Fox.

"Appoint a committee?" revealed Miss Cow, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Fox had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Fox courteously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," added Miss Cow ferociously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Fox obediently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," pronounced Miss Cow nimbly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the cash register on her front porch, looking out over the briar patch and sighing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Fox. Do come again."

"Just a minute," commented Mister Fox unabashedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Cow thought she had answered, and was beginning to get intelligent. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Fox doing these days?"

Mister Fox would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Cow sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied suddenly.