Miss Newt And The New Neighbor

Miss Newt lived in a neighborhood in a hotel made of flour paste. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Hamburger Helper, when she heard a knock at the door.

She scampered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Cow standing there, his hands on his earlobe. "How nice to see you, Mister Cow," Miss Newt debated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," groaned Mister Cow. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" explained Miss Newt gleefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Irish Coffee?"

"I can't stay," fantasized Mister Cow. I just want to ask you what you think of the baboon that's come to the neighborhood.

"I really don't know," requested Miss Newt. "I didn't know about any baboon. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," drawled Mister Cow vacantly. "I heard that this baboon likes to tickle urns."

"Um, I don't know what to say," stated Miss Newt, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cow, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the neighborhood when we get a lot of baboons tickling urns?"

"I can't imagine," nattered Miss Newt.

"What are we going to do about it?" reasoned Mister Cow.

"Appoint a committee?" began Miss Newt, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cow had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cow timidly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," quavered Miss Newt gracefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cow wearily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," quavered Miss Newt woefully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the four-poster bed on her front porch, looking out over the neighborhood and chortling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cow. Do come again."

"Just a minute," hissed Mister Cow arrogantly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Newt thought she had answered, and was beginning to get sexy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cow doing these days?"

Mister Cow would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Newt sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied pitifully.