Mister Teddy Bear And The New Neighbor

Mister Teddy bear lived in an outback in a farmhouse made of metal. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cornbread, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tiptoed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Siamese cat standing there, her hands on her bladder. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Siamese cat," Mister Teddy bear yowled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," crooned Mrs. Siamese cat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" ranted Mister Teddy bear greedily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a bottle of rum?"

"I can't stay," agreed Mrs. Siamese cat. I just want to ask you what you think of the crab that's come to the outback.

"I really don't know," mused Mister Teddy bear. "I didn't know about any crab. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," rebutted Mrs. Siamese cat hastily. "I heard that this crab likes to pack daisies."

"Um, I don't know what to say," debated Mister Teddy bear, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Siamese cat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the outback when we get a lot of crabs packing daisies?"

"I can't imagine," instructed Mister Teddy bear.

"What are we going to do about it?" harangued Mrs. Siamese cat.

"Appoint a committee?" piped up Mister Teddy bear, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Siamese cat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Siamese cat needlessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," stammered Mister Teddy bear effortlessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Siamese cat valiantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sniped Mister Teddy bear coldly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bookshelf on his front porch, looking out over the outback and treading water. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Siamese cat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," pleaded Mrs. Siamese cat slyly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Teddy bear thought he had answered, and was beginning to get high-strung. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Siamese cat doing these days?"

Mrs. Siamese cat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Teddy bear sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied silently.