Miss Sloth And The New Neighbor

Miss Sloth lived on a tundra in a housing project made of cast iron. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover sweet potatoes, when she heard a knock at the door.

She set out to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Spider standing there, his hands on his belly button. "How nice to see you, Mister Spider," Miss Sloth nattered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," imitated Mister Spider. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" roared Miss Sloth carelessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of carrot juice?"

"I can't stay," wondered Mister Spider. I just want to ask you what you think of the goblin that's come to the tundra.

"I really don't know," realized Miss Sloth. "I didn't know about any goblin. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," snorted Mister Spider cunningly. "I heard that this goblin likes to hide orchids."

"Um, I don't know what to say," spewed Miss Sloth, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Spider, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the tundra when we get a lot of goblins hiding orchids?"

"I can't imagine," harangued Miss Sloth.

"What are we going to do about it?" spat Mister Spider.

"Appoint a committee?" grunted Miss Sloth, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Spider had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Spider defiantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," piped up Miss Sloth truculently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Spider firmly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," taunted Miss Sloth cautiously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the floor on her front porch, looking out over the tundra and freezing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Spider. Do come again."

"Just a minute," rebutted Mister Spider sharply. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Sloth thought she had answered, and was beginning to get powerful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Spider doing these days?"

Mister Spider would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Sloth sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied silently.