Mister Cow And The New Neighbor

Mister Cow lived on a wasteland in a trailer made of mud bricks. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover refried beans, when he heard a knock at the door.

He rolled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Grasshopper standing there, her hands on her hairdo. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Grasshopper," Mister Cow sobbed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sighed Mrs. Grasshopper. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" squealed Mister Cow woefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Tom and Jerry?"

"I can't stay," invited Mrs. Grasshopper. I just want to ask you what you think of the goblin that's come to the wasteland.

"I really don't know," imitated Mister Cow. "I didn't know about any goblin. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," fumed Mrs. Grasshopper frenetically. "I heard that this goblin likes to grab muffins."

"Um, I don't know what to say," intoned Mister Cow, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Grasshopper, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the wasteland when we get a lot of goblins grabbing muffins?"

"I can't imagine," rumored Mister Cow.

"What are we going to do about it?" sniped Mrs. Grasshopper.

"Appoint a committee?" professed Mister Cow, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Grasshopper had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Grasshopper suavely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," imitated Mister Cow wildly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Grasshopper wildly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," worried Mister Cow suavely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the toilet on his front porch, looking out over the wasteland and dealing cards. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Grasshopper. Do come again."

"Just a minute," queried Mrs. Grasshopper vacantly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Cow thought he had answered, and was beginning to get moody. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Grasshopper doing these days?"

Mrs. Grasshopper would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Cow sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied gingerly.