Miss Gila Monster And The New Neighbor

Miss Gila monster lived in a gully in a parsonage made of thatch. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Swiss cheese, when she heard a knock at the door.

She galloped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Chimpanzee standing there, his hands on his leg. "How nice to see you, Mister Chimpanzee," Miss Gila monster worried, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," repeated Mister Chimpanzee. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" panted Miss Gila monster warmly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a chamomile tea?"

"I can't stay," persisted Mister Chimpanzee. I just want to ask you what you think of the snipe that's come to the gully.

"I really don't know," grieved Miss Gila monster. "I didn't know about any snipe. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chimed Mister Chimpanzee languidly. "I heard that this snipe likes to pick napkins."

"Um, I don't know what to say," peeped Miss Gila monster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Chimpanzee, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the gully when we get a lot of snipes picking napkins?"

"I can't imagine," hummed Miss Gila monster.

"What are we going to do about it?" wondered Mister Chimpanzee.

"Appoint a committee?" barked Miss Gila monster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Chimpanzee had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Chimpanzee elatedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," clarified Miss Gila monster stupidly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Chimpanzee confidently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," crooned Miss Gila monster crankily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the workbench on her front porch, looking out over the gully and snickering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Chimpanzee. Do come again."

"Just a minute," rebutted Mister Chimpanzee frenetically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Gila monster thought she had answered, and was beginning to get stubborn. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Chimpanzee doing these days?"

Mister Chimpanzee would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Gila monster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied gingerly.