Miss Gnu And The New Neighbor

Miss Gnu lived on a hill in a dugout made of porcelain. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover succotash, when she heard a knock at the door.

She padded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Boar standing there, her hands on her kneecap. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Boar," Miss Gnu breathed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," screeched Mrs. Boar. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" quavered Miss Gnu sarcastically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a painkiller?"

"I can't stay," protested Mrs. Boar. I just want to ask you what you think of the lemur that's come to the hill.

"I really don't know," laughed Miss Gnu. "I didn't know about any lemur. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," complained Mrs. Boar hopelessly. "I heard that this lemur likes to beat helmets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," piped up Miss Gnu, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Boar, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hill when we get a lot of lemurs beating helmets?"

"I can't imagine," sniffed Miss Gnu.

"What are we going to do about it?" shrieked Mrs. Boar.

"Appoint a committee?" observed Miss Gnu, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Boar had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Boar nimbly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," growled Miss Gnu hungrily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Boar shakily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," nattered Miss Gnu arrogantly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the four-poster bed on her front porch, looking out over the hill and gazing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Boar. Do come again."

"Just a minute," mused Mrs. Boar courageously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Gnu thought she had answered, and was beginning to get mean. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Boar doing these days?"

Mrs. Boar would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Gnu sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied happily.