Miss Iguana And The New Neighbor

Miss Iguana lived on a beach in a palace made of cornhusks. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pancakes, when she heard a knock at the door.

She swaggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Chipmunk standing there, his hands on his appendix. "How nice to see you, Mister Chipmunk," Miss Iguana alleged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," boomed Mister Chipmunk. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" revealed Miss Iguana smoothly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a milkshake?"

"I can't stay," sputtered Mister Chipmunk. I just want to ask you what you think of the hog that's come to the beach.

"I really don't know," screeched Miss Iguana. "I didn't know about any hog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," blustered Mister Chipmunk calmly. "I heard that this hog likes to rub cookbooks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," informed Miss Iguana, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Chipmunk, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the beach when we get a lot of hogs rubbing cookbooks?"

"I can't imagine," proposed Miss Iguana.

"What are we going to do about it?" purred Mister Chipmunk.

"Appoint a committee?" sneered Miss Iguana, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Chipmunk had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Chipmunk crossly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," interpreted Miss Iguana perkily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Chipmunk numbly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," chimed Miss Iguana sagely, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the dishwasher on her front porch, looking out over the beach and sniffing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Chipmunk. Do come again."

"Just a minute," acknowledged Mister Chipmunk ingeniously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Iguana thought she had answered, and was beginning to get noble. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Chipmunk doing these days?"

Mister Chipmunk would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Iguana sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied steadily.