Miss Macaque And The New Neighbor

Miss Macaque lived on an island in an apartment made of lithium. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lasagna, when she heard a knock at the door.

She walked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Wolverine standing there, her hands on her aorta. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Wolverine," Miss Macaque sniffed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," breathed Mrs. Wolverine. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" chortled Miss Macaque admiringly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a secret potion?"

"I can't stay," belched Mrs. Wolverine. I just want to ask you what you think of the polar bear that's come to the island.

"I really don't know," mentioned Miss Macaque. "I didn't know about any polar bear. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," joked Mrs. Wolverine wryly. "I heard that this polar bear likes to analyze iPads."

"Um, I don't know what to say," barked Miss Macaque, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Wolverine, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the island when we get a lot of polar bears analyzing iPads?"

"I can't imagine," observed Miss Macaque.

"What are we going to do about it?" complained Mrs. Wolverine.

"Appoint a committee?" preached Miss Macaque, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Wolverine had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Wolverine fearfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," fretted Miss Macaque lightly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Wolverine charmingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," asserted Miss Macaque despondently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the beanbag chair on her front porch, looking out over the island and showing up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Wolverine. Do come again."

"Just a minute," continued Mrs. Wolverine deftly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Macaque thought she had answered, and was beginning to get deadly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Wolverine doing these days?"

Mrs. Wolverine would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Macaque sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied vacantly.