Mister Elk And The New Neighbor

Mister Elk lived in a buffalo wallow in a wikiup made of cellophane. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover strawberry shortcake, when he heard a knock at the door.

He trotted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Walrus standing there, his hands on his arm. "How nice to see you, Mister Walrus," Mister Elk acknowledged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sputtered Mister Walrus. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" yammered Mister Elk calmly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Jack Daniel's?"

"I can't stay," spewed Mister Walrus. I just want to ask you what you think of the donkey that's come to the buffalo wallow.

"I really don't know," gabbed Mister Elk. "I didn't know about any donkey. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," urged Mister Walrus queerly. "I heard that this donkey likes to puncture Bunsen burners."

"Um, I don't know what to say," blubbered Mister Elk, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Walrus, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the buffalo wallow when we get a lot of donkeys puncturing Bunsen burners?"

"I can't imagine," analyzed Mister Elk.

"What are we going to do about it?" pointed out Mister Walrus.

"Appoint a committee?" squeaked Mister Elk, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Walrus had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Walrus fondly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," began Mister Elk shyly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Walrus stealthily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," exploded Mister Elk bitterly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the safe on his front porch, looking out over the buffalo wallow and standing by. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Walrus. Do come again."

"Just a minute," chimed Mister Walrus wearily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Elk thought he had answered, and was beginning to get timid. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Walrus doing these days?"

Mister Walrus would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Elk sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sourly.