Mister Bird And The New Neighbor

Mister Bird lived in a glen in a quonset hut made of tar. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Cheerios, when he heard a knock at the door.

He clambered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Caribou standing there, her hands on her earlobe. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Caribou," Mister Bird fumed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," cried Mrs. Caribou. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" persisted Mister Bird peevishly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a mint julep?"

"I can't stay," joked Mrs. Caribou. I just want to ask you what you think of the finch that's come to the glen.

"I really don't know," declared Mister Bird. "I didn't know about any finch. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," scoffed Mrs. Caribou majestically. "I heard that this finch likes to brandish stamps."

"Um, I don't know what to say," accused Mister Bird, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Caribou, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the glen when we get a lot of finches brandishing stamps?"

"I can't imagine," divulged Mister Bird.

"What are we going to do about it?" whimpered Mrs. Caribou.

"Appoint a committee?" pointed out Mister Bird, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Caribou had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Caribou hopefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," persisted Mister Bird smoothly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Caribou rapidly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," screeched Mister Bird later, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the footstool on his front porch, looking out over the glen and blanking out. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Caribou. Do come again."

"Just a minute," said Mrs. Caribou elatedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Bird thought he had answered, and was beginning to get merry. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Caribou doing these days?"

Mrs. Caribou would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Bird sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied hysterically.