Mister Gnu And The New Neighbor

Mister Gnu lived in a country meadow in a parsonage made of precious gems. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover borscht, when he heard a knock at the door.

He careened to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Gecko standing there, her hands on her fingernail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Gecko," Mister Gnu worried, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," chuckled Mrs. Gecko. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" hinted Mister Gnu pityingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of lemonade?"

"I can't stay," ranted Mrs. Gecko. I just want to ask you what you think of the tsetse fly that's come to the country meadow.

"I really don't know," intoned Mister Gnu. "I didn't know about any tsetse fly. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," nattered Mrs. Gecko recklessly. "I heard that this tsetse fly likes to crush staplers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," lectured Mister Gnu, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Gecko, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the country meadow when we get a lot of tsetse flies crushing staplers?"

"I can't imagine," growled Mister Gnu.

"What are we going to do about it?" protested Mrs. Gecko.

"Appoint a committee?" jeered Mister Gnu, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Gecko had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Gecko glumly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," hollered Mister Gnu coolly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Gecko timidly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," burbled Mister Gnu ingeniously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the pool table on his front porch, looking out over the country meadow and nodding. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Gecko. Do come again."

"Just a minute," blustered Mrs. Gecko briskly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Gnu thought he had answered, and was beginning to get weary. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Gecko doing these days?"

Mrs. Gecko would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Gnu sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied bitterly.