Mister Finch And The New Neighbor

Mister Finch lived on a cliff in a homeless shelter made of graham crackers. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover beef bouillon, when he heard a knock at the door.

He skidded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Raven standing there, his hands on his nostril. "How nice to see you, Mister Raven," Mister Finch disputed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," panted Mister Raven. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" peeped Mister Finch carelessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of whiskey?"

"I can't stay," shouted Mister Raven. I just want to ask you what you think of the meerkat that's come to the cliff.

"I really don't know," provoked Mister Finch. "I didn't know about any meerkat. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," decided Mister Raven nicely. "I heard that this meerkat likes to study screwdrivers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," stammered Mister Finch, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Raven, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cliff when we get a lot of meerkats studying screwdrivers?"

"I can't imagine," grunted Mister Finch.

"What are we going to do about it?" reacted Mister Raven.

"Appoint a committee?" urged Mister Finch, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Raven had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Raven calmly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," prattled Mister Finch miserably, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Raven grandly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," blustered Mister Finch glumly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the coat rack on his front porch, looking out over the cliff and chortling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Raven. Do come again."

"Just a minute," rationalized Mister Raven confidently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Finch thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sincere. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Raven doing these days?"

Mister Raven would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Finch sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied strangely.