Miss Warthog And The New Neighbor

Miss Warthog lived in a marsh in a junk car made of uranium. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ceviche, when she heard a knock at the door.

She zoomed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Mouse standing there, her hands on her vein. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Mouse," Miss Warthog sniveled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," lectured Mrs. Mouse. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mouthed Miss Warthog fearfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of Sanka?"

"I can't stay," asserted Mrs. Mouse. I just want to ask you what you think of the flamingo that's come to the marsh.

"I really don't know," reasoned Miss Warthog. "I didn't know about any flamingo. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," spewed Mrs. Mouse blankly. "I heard that this flamingo likes to analyze magnets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," stormed Miss Warthog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Mouse, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the marsh when we get a lot of flamingoes analyzing magnets?"

"I can't imagine," admitted Miss Warthog.

"What are we going to do about it?" pronounced Mrs. Mouse.

"Appoint a committee?" agreed Miss Warthog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Mouse had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Mouse hopefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," mouthed Miss Warthog firmly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Mouse sweetly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sobbed Miss Warthog accidentally, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the four-poster bed on her front porch, looking out over the marsh and looking smart. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Mouse. Do come again."

"Just a minute," breathed Mrs. Mouse swiftly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Warthog thought she had answered, and was beginning to get puzzled. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Mouse doing these days?"

Mrs. Mouse would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Warthog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied noisily.