Mister Salamander And The New Neighbor

Mister Salamander lived at an oasis in a hovel made of taffeta. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover apple pie, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Dog standing there, his hands on his eyebrow. "How nice to see you, Mister Dog," Mister Salamander appealed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," blathered Mister Dog. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" winked Mister Salamander solemnly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a milkshake?"

"I can't stay," groveled Mister Dog. I just want to ask you what you think of the Guinea pig that's come to the oasis.

"I really don't know," articulated Mister Salamander. "I didn't know about any Guinea pig. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," protested Mister Dog wildly. "I heard that this Guinea pig likes to moisten diagrams."

"Um, I don't know what to say," avowed Mister Salamander, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Dog, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the oasis when we get a lot of Guinea pigs moistening diagrams?"

"I can't imagine," indicated Mister Salamander.

"What are we going to do about it?" sniped Mister Dog.

"Appoint a committee?" offered Mister Salamander, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Dog had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Dog cheerfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," hummed Mister Salamander fiercely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Dog unabashedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," maintained Mister Salamander dolorously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the umbrella stand on his front porch, looking out over the oasis and huffing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Dog. Do come again."

"Just a minute," panted Mister Dog cautiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Salamander thought he had answered, and was beginning to get desperate. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Dog doing these days?"

Mister Dog would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Salamander sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied excitedly.