Mister Gopher And The New Neighbor

Mister Gopher lived at a dump in a motel made of sewage. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover country glazed ham, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tumbled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Siamese cat standing there, his hands on his eyebrow. "How nice to see you, Mister Siamese cat," Mister Gopher comforted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," snarled Mister Siamese cat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" inquired Mister Gopher unexpectedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a soda?"

"I can't stay," tittered Mister Siamese cat. I just want to ask you what you think of the anteater that's come to the dump.

"I really don't know," blurted Mister Gopher. "I didn't know about any anteater. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," voiced Mister Siamese cat reluctantly. "I heard that this anteater likes to smash magnets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," breathed Mister Gopher, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Siamese cat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dump when we get a lot of anteaters smashing magnets?"

"I can't imagine," explained Mister Gopher.

"What are we going to do about it?" said Mister Siamese cat.

"Appoint a committee?" bawled Mister Gopher, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Siamese cat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Siamese cat sadly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," instructed Mister Gopher menacingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Siamese cat delicately. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," inquired Mister Gopher despondently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the dresser on his front porch, looking out over the dump and standing by. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Siamese cat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," said Mister Siamese cat testily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Gopher thought he had answered, and was beginning to get hungry. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Siamese cat doing these days?"

Mister Siamese cat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Gopher sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied furiously.