Miss Lamb And The New Neighbor

Miss Lamb lived in a briar patch in a palace made of dirt. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover crab rangoon, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sidled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Chameleon standing there, his hands on his appendix. "How nice to see you, Mister Chameleon," Miss Lamb pointed out, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," explained Mister Chameleon. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" indicated Miss Lamb openly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of milk?"

"I can't stay," blustered Mister Chameleon. I just want to ask you what you think of the lizard that's come to the briar patch.

"I really don't know," spoke up Miss Lamb. "I didn't know about any lizard. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," imitated Mister Chameleon glumly. "I heard that this lizard likes to remove lemons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," spoke up Miss Lamb, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Chameleon, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the briar patch when we get a lot of lizards removing lemons?"

"I can't imagine," sniveled Miss Lamb.

"What are we going to do about it?" breathed Mister Chameleon.

"Appoint a committee?" pointed out Miss Lamb, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Chameleon had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Chameleon ignobly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," appealed Miss Lamb curiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Chameleon innocently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," spoke up Miss Lamb sarcastically, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the pool table on her front porch, looking out over the briar patch and twitching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Chameleon. Do come again."

"Just a minute," hinted Mister Chameleon again. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Lamb thought she had answered, and was beginning to get sloppy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Chameleon doing these days?"

Mister Chameleon would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Lamb sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied narrowly.