Mister Gnu And The New Neighbor

Mister Gnu lived on a grassy knoll in a junk car made of pebbles. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover oyster on the half-shell, when he heard a knock at the door.

He trotted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Bat standing there, her hands on her rib. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Bat," Mister Gnu shouted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," commented Mrs. Bat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" whimpered Mister Gnu hopelessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a V8?"

"I can't stay," vowed Mrs. Bat. I just want to ask you what you think of the fish that's come to the grassy knoll.

"I really don't know," groveled Mister Gnu. "I didn't know about any fish. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," warbled Mrs. Bat ferociously. "I heard that this fish likes to return coat hangers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," reasoned Mister Gnu, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Bat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassy knoll when we get a lot of fish returning coat hangers?"

"I can't imagine," sniffed Mister Gnu.

"What are we going to do about it?" taunted Mrs. Bat.

"Appoint a committee?" professed Mister Gnu, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Bat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Bat wearily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," lamented Mister Gnu strangely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Bat fervently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," realized Mister Gnu silently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the water bed on his front porch, looking out over the grassy knoll and hanging around. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Bat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," phrased Mrs. Bat cleverly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Gnu thought he had answered, and was beginning to get muddled. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Bat doing these days?"

Mrs. Bat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Gnu sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied tenderly.