Miss Hornet And The New Neighbor

Miss Hornet lived on a tundra in an A-frame made of polyester. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ice cream, when she heard a knock at the door.

She swaggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Kitten standing there, her hands on her front tooth. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Kitten," Miss Hornet scoffed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," stormed Mrs. Kitten. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" chuckled Miss Hornet dolorously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of tequila?"

"I can't stay," blurted Mrs. Kitten. I just want to ask you what you think of the warthog that's come to the tundra.

"I really don't know," comforted Miss Hornet. "I didn't know about any warthog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," remarked Mrs. Kitten brashly. "I heard that this warthog likes to scratch rulers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sputtered Miss Hornet, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Kitten, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the tundra when we get a lot of warthogs scratching rulers?"

"I can't imagine," grunted Miss Hornet.

"What are we going to do about it?" cried Mrs. Kitten.

"Appoint a committee?" spewed Miss Hornet, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Kitten had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Kitten later. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," roared Miss Hornet lightly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Kitten carefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," orated Miss Hornet blindly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the settee on her front porch, looking out over the tundra and meowing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Kitten. Do come again."

"Just a minute," grunted Mrs. Kitten crankily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Hornet thought she had answered, and was beginning to get arrogant. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Kitten doing these days?"

Mrs. Kitten would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Hornet sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied innocently.