Miss Lion And The New Neighbor

Miss Lion lived in a park in a cardboard box made of nylon. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover moo goo gai pan, when she heard a knock at the door.

She walked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Cougar standing there, his hands on his pituitary gland. "How nice to see you, Mister Cougar," Miss Lion guessed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," bellowed Mister Cougar. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" offered Miss Lion hopelessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bud Lite?"

"I can't stay," analyzed Mister Cougar. I just want to ask you what you think of the mongoose that's come to the park.

"I really don't know," yammered Miss Lion. "I didn't know about any mongoose. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," vowed Mister Cougar lickety-split. "I heard that this mongoose likes to crack ice cream cones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," inquired Miss Lion, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cougar, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the park when we get a lot of mongeese cracking ice cream cones?"

"I can't imagine," answered Miss Lion.

"What are we going to do about it?" rationalized Mister Cougar.

"Appoint a committee?" blurted Miss Lion, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cougar had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cougar menacingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," alleged Miss Lion frenetically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cougar tenderly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," fumed Miss Lion stealthily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the china hutch on her front porch, looking out over the park and belching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cougar. Do come again."

"Just a minute," divulged Mister Cougar thoughtfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Lion thought she had answered, and was beginning to get passionate. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cougar doing these days?"

Mister Cougar would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Lion sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied deliberately.