Mister Toad And The New Neighbor

Mister Toad lived in a pond in a sod house made of Scotch tape. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cabbage rolls, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tiptoed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Wolverine standing there, his hands on his horn. "How nice to see you, Mister Wolverine," Mister Toad asked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," requested Mister Wolverine. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" appealed Mister Toad confidently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an ice cream soda?"

"I can't stay," sobbed Mister Wolverine. I just want to ask you what you think of the pig that's come to the pond.

"I really don't know," debated Mister Toad. "I didn't know about any pig. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," noted Mister Wolverine miserably. "I heard that this pig likes to distort pieces of chalk."

"Um, I don't know what to say," warbled Mister Toad, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Wolverine, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the pond when we get a lot of pigs distorting pieces of chalk?"

"I can't imagine," fumed Mister Toad.

"What are we going to do about it?" indicated Mister Wolverine.

"Appoint a committee?" crooned Mister Toad, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Wolverine had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Wolverine reluctantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," boomed Mister Toad lovingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Wolverine busily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," roared Mister Toad unexpectedly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the floor on his front porch, looking out over the pond and snorting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Wolverine. Do come again."

"Just a minute," argued Mister Wolverine woodenly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Toad thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sleek. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Wolverine doing these days?"

Mister Wolverine would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Toad sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied peevishly.