Mister Jaguar And The New Neighbor

Mister Jaguar lived on a grassy knoll in a church made of papier-mâché. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fried eggs, when he heard a knock at the door.

He crept to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Brine shrimp standing there, her hands on her thigh. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Brine shrimp," Mister Jaguar fantasized, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," spouted Mrs. Brine shrimp. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" comforted Mister Jaguar innocently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of milk?"

"I can't stay," babbled Mrs. Brine shrimp. I just want to ask you what you think of the tsetse fly that's come to the grassy knoll.

"I really don't know," suggested Mister Jaguar. "I didn't know about any tsetse fly. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," wondered Mrs. Brine shrimp primly. "I heard that this tsetse fly likes to photograph flyswatters."

"Um, I don't know what to say," chimed Mister Jaguar, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Brine shrimp, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassy knoll when we get a lot of tsetse flies photographing flyswatters?"

"I can't imagine," comforted Mister Jaguar.

"What are we going to do about it?" groaned Mrs. Brine shrimp.

"Appoint a committee?" urged Mister Jaguar, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Brine shrimp had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Brine shrimp gracefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," guessed Mister Jaguar sweetly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Brine shrimp woefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," intoned Mister Jaguar glibly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the beanbag chair on his front porch, looking out over the grassy knoll and daydreaming. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Brine shrimp. Do come again."

"Just a minute," sighed Mrs. Brine shrimp sarcastically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Jaguar thought he had answered, and was beginning to get ignoble. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Brine shrimp doing these days?"

Mrs. Brine shrimp would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Jaguar sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied truculently.