Miss Troll And The New Neighbor

Miss Troll lived in a swamp in an apartment made of papyrus. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mulligan stew, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sidled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Aardvark standing there, her hands on her toenail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Aardvark," Miss Troll hissed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," began Mrs. Aardvark. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" orated Miss Troll haughtily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mojito?"

"I can't stay," pronounced Mrs. Aardvark. I just want to ask you what you think of the goat that's come to the swamp.

"I really don't know," articulated Miss Troll. "I didn't know about any goat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," exploded Mrs. Aardvark again. "I heard that this goat likes to stash blankets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," opined Miss Troll, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Aardvark, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the swamp when we get a lot of goats stashing blankets?"

"I can't imagine," yawned Miss Troll.

"What are we going to do about it?" voiced Mrs. Aardvark.

"Appoint a committee?" winked Miss Troll, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Aardvark had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Aardvark caustically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," shrieked Miss Troll boldly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Aardvark noisily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," worried Miss Troll admiringly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the casket on her front porch, looking out over the swamp and yelling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Aardvark. Do come again."

"Just a minute," bawled Mrs. Aardvark hopefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Troll thought she had answered, and was beginning to get difficult. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Aardvark doing these days?"

Mrs. Aardvark would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Troll sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied lazily.