Mister Skunk And The New Neighbor

Mister Skunk lived in a badlands area in a Victorian mansion made of wood. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover steak, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sauntered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Raccoon standing there, her hands on her heart. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Raccoon," Mister Skunk fumed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," vouched Mrs. Raccoon. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" spouted Mister Skunk cleverly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Dr. Pepper?"

"I can't stay," judged Mrs. Raccoon. I just want to ask you what you think of the mare that's come to the badlands area.

"I really don't know," scoffed Mister Skunk. "I didn't know about any mare. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," blurted Mrs. Raccoon languidly. "I heard that this mare likes to rearrange stuffed owls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," barked Mister Skunk, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Raccoon, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the badlands area when we get a lot of mares rearranging stuffed owls?"

"I can't imagine," persisted Mister Skunk.

"What are we going to do about it?" demanded Mrs. Raccoon.

"Appoint a committee?" sniveled Mister Skunk, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Raccoon had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Raccoon fondly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spewed Mister Skunk sadly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Raccoon nimbly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," added Mister Skunk impatiently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the billiard table on his front porch, looking out over the badlands area and treading water. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Raccoon. Do come again."

"Just a minute," griped Mrs. Raccoon offhandedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Skunk thought he had answered, and was beginning to get tired. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Raccoon doing these days?"

Mrs. Raccoon would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Skunk sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sourly.