Mister Falcon And The New Neighbor

Mister Falcon lived in a desert in a log cabin made of ice. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover omelet, when he heard a knock at the door.

He jogged to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Lovebird standing there, her hands on her knuckle. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Lovebird," Mister Falcon amended, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," screeched Mrs. Lovebird. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" said Mister Falcon timidly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot chocolate?"

"I can't stay," sniffed Mrs. Lovebird. I just want to ask you what you think of the goblin that's come to the desert.

"I really don't know," intoned Mister Falcon. "I didn't know about any goblin. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," complained Mrs. Lovebird furiously. "I heard that this goblin likes to heat corks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," insisted Mister Falcon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Lovebird, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the desert when we get a lot of goblins heating corks?"

"I can't imagine," amended Mister Falcon.

"What are we going to do about it?" wept Mrs. Lovebird.

"Appoint a committee?" realized Mister Falcon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Lovebird had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Lovebird grimly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," appealed Mister Falcon reluctantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Lovebird perkily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," stuttered Mister Falcon surreptitiously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the TV on his front porch, looking out over the desert and getting sleepy. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Lovebird. Do come again."

"Just a minute," pronounced Mrs. Lovebird wearily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Falcon thought he had answered, and was beginning to get earnest. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Lovebird doing these days?"

Mrs. Lovebird would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Falcon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied lamely.