Miss Anaconda And The New Neighbor

Miss Anaconda lived in a pond in a boxcar made of mahogany. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover dirty rice, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sprinted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Chameleon standing there, her hands on her beard. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Chameleon," Miss Anaconda interpreted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," inquired Mrs. Chameleon. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mentioned Miss Anaconda happily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of lemonade?"

"I can't stay," complained Mrs. Chameleon. I just want to ask you what you think of the meerkat that's come to the pond.

"I really don't know," professed Miss Anaconda. "I didn't know about any meerkat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," roared Mrs. Chameleon sheepishly. "I heard that this meerkat likes to rub rolls of toilet paper."

"Um, I don't know what to say," muttered Miss Anaconda, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Chameleon, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the pond when we get a lot of meerkats rubbing rolls of toilet paper?"

"I can't imagine," retorted Miss Anaconda.

"What are we going to do about it?" blustered Mrs. Chameleon.

"Appoint a committee?" yelped Miss Anaconda, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Chameleon had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Chameleon viciously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," smirked Miss Anaconda strangely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Chameleon sharply. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," hinted Miss Anaconda sternly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the umbrella stand on her front porch, looking out over the pond and snoring. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Chameleon. Do come again."

"Just a minute," began Mrs. Chameleon boldly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Anaconda thought she had answered, and was beginning to get pensive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Chameleon doing these days?"

Mrs. Chameleon would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Anaconda sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied oddly.