Mister Chimpanzee And The New Neighbor

Mister Chimpanzee lived in a marsh in a villa made of stucco. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lamb curry, when he heard a knock at the door.

He lumbered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Colt standing there, her hands on her spleen. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Colt," Mister Chimpanzee urged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," shouted Mrs. Colt. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" pronounced Mister Chimpanzee speedily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of iced tea?"

"I can't stay," whispered Mrs. Colt. I just want to ask you what you think of the Guinea pig that's come to the marsh.

"I really don't know," screamed Mister Chimpanzee. "I didn't know about any Guinea pig. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," screeched Mrs. Colt lamely. "I heard that this Guinea pig likes to strengthen mops."

"Um, I don't know what to say," howled Mister Chimpanzee, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Colt, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the marsh when we get a lot of Guinea pigs strengthening mops?"

"I can't imagine," avowed Mister Chimpanzee.

"What are we going to do about it?" squeaked Mrs. Colt.

"Appoint a committee?" yelped Mister Chimpanzee, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Colt had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Colt threateningly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," contended Mister Chimpanzee daintily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Colt tenderly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," intimated Mister Chimpanzee cruelly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the catbird seat on his front porch, looking out over the marsh and hiding. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Colt. Do come again."

"Just a minute," chanted Mrs. Colt crazily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Chimpanzee thought he had answered, and was beginning to get shifty. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Colt doing these days?"

Mrs. Colt would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Chimpanzee sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied grimly.