Miss Cougar And The New Neighbor

Miss Cougar lived in a jungle in a condominium made of clay. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hot dogs, when she heard a knock at the door.

She waded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Pigeon standing there, her hands on her chin. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Pigeon," Miss Cougar fantasized, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," shouted Mrs. Pigeon. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" ranted Miss Cougar sorrowfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a double latte?"

"I can't stay," babbled Mrs. Pigeon. I just want to ask you what you think of the antelope that's come to the jungle.

"I really don't know," proposed Miss Cougar. "I didn't know about any antelope. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," harangued Mrs. Pigeon joyously. "I heard that this antelope likes to return cactus plants."

"Um, I don't know what to say," grieved Miss Cougar, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Pigeon, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the jungle when we get a lot of antelopes returning cactus plants?"

"I can't imagine," disputed Miss Cougar.

"What are we going to do about it?" intoned Mrs. Pigeon.

"Appoint a committee?" inquired Miss Cougar, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Pigeon had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Pigeon numbly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," screamed Miss Cougar boldly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Pigeon energetically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," quoted Miss Cougar stupidly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the safe on her front porch, looking out over the jungle and getting along. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Pigeon. Do come again."

"Just a minute," opined Mrs. Pigeon viciously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Cougar thought she had answered, and was beginning to get happy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Pigeon doing these days?"

Mrs. Pigeon would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Cougar sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied greedily.