Miss Zebra And The New Neighbor

Miss Zebra lived on a battlefield in a travel trailer made of tempered steel. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when she heard a knock at the door.

She slumped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Opossum standing there, her hands on her antenna. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Opossum," Miss Zebra amended, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," observed Mrs. Opossum. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" revealed Miss Zebra impatiently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of lemonade?"

"I can't stay," bellowed Mrs. Opossum. I just want to ask you what you think of the squirrel that's come to the battlefield.

"I really don't know," blubbered Miss Zebra. "I didn't know about any squirrel. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," agreed Mrs. Opossum grimly. "I heard that this squirrel likes to seize toys."

"Um, I don't know what to say," admitted Miss Zebra, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Opossum, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the battlefield when we get a lot of squirrels seizing toys?"

"I can't imagine," wailed Miss Zebra.

"What are we going to do about it?" moaned Mrs. Opossum.

"Appoint a committee?" retorted Miss Zebra, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Opossum had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Opossum lightly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," remarked Miss Zebra numbly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Opossum oddly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," begged Miss Zebra coldly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the credenza on her front porch, looking out over the battlefield and laughing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Opossum. Do come again."

"Just a minute," gabbed Mrs. Opossum sorrowfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Zebra thought she had answered, and was beginning to get elderly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Opossum doing these days?"

Mrs. Opossum would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Zebra sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied needlessly.