Miss Gerbil And The New Neighbor

Miss Gerbil lived on a tundra in a motor home made of mahogany. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover doughnuts, when she heard a knock at the door.

She skipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Phantom standing there, her hands on her brain. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Phantom," Miss Gerbil giggled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," groveled Mrs. Phantom. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" agreed Miss Gerbil lickety-split, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of hot cider?"

"I can't stay," mentioned Mrs. Phantom. I just want to ask you what you think of the banana slug that's come to the tundra.

"I really don't know," boasted Miss Gerbil. "I didn't know about any banana slug. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," cried Mrs. Phantom timidly. "I heard that this banana slug likes to hide rubber chickens."

"Um, I don't know what to say," answered Miss Gerbil, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Phantom, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the tundra when we get a lot of banana slugs hiding rubber chickens?"

"I can't imagine," exploded Miss Gerbil.

"What are we going to do about it?" demanded Mrs. Phantom.

"Appoint a committee?" cajoled Miss Gerbil, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Phantom had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Phantom hopelessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," indicated Miss Gerbil grudgingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Phantom violently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," imitated Miss Gerbil wearily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the ottoman on her front porch, looking out over the tundra and typing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Phantom. Do come again."

"Just a minute," hissed Mrs. Phantom sorrowfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Gerbil thought she had answered, and was beginning to get talkative. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Phantom doing these days?"

Mrs. Phantom would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Gerbil sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied gruffly.