Miss Eel And The New Neighbor

Miss Eel lived in a briar patch in a cardboard box made of onyx. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover clam chowder, when she heard a knock at the door.

She jogged to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Pig standing there, his hands on his skin. "How nice to see you, Mister Pig," Miss Eel pointed out, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," murmured Mister Pig. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" orated Miss Eel gently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of champagne?"

"I can't stay," rambled Mister Pig. I just want to ask you what you think of the Siamese cat that's come to the briar patch.

"I really don't know," rambled Miss Eel. "I didn't know about any Siamese cat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," imitated Mister Pig properly. "I heard that this Siamese cat likes to uncover paper bags."

"Um, I don't know what to say," squeaked Miss Eel, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Pig, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the briar patch when we get a lot of Siamese cats uncovering paper bags?"

"I can't imagine," rumored Miss Eel.

"What are we going to do about it?" called Mister Pig.

"Appoint a committee?" harangued Miss Eel, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Pig had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Pig busily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," judged Miss Eel hopelessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Pig viciously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," tittered Miss Eel dolefully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the water bed on her front porch, looking out over the briar patch and coming to. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Pig. Do come again."

"Just a minute," lamented Mister Pig nonchalantly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Eel thought she had answered, and was beginning to get drowsy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Pig doing these days?"

Mister Pig would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Eel sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied peevishly.