Mister Teddy Bear And The New Neighbor

Mister Teddy bear lived on a battlefield in a hut made of papyrus. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pot roast, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sallied forth to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Rhinoceros standing there, her hands on her toupee. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Rhinoceros," Mister Teddy bear contended, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," stuttered Mrs. Rhinoceros. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" protested Mister Teddy bear intensely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a double latte?"

"I can't stay," indicated Mrs. Rhinoceros. I just want to ask you what you think of the warthog that's come to the battlefield.

"I really don't know," implored Mister Teddy bear. "I didn't know about any warthog. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," questioned Mrs. Rhinoceros roughly. "I heard that this warthog likes to deliver toilet seats."

"Um, I don't know what to say," continued Mister Teddy bear, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Rhinoceros, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the battlefield when we get a lot of warthogs delivering toilet seats?"

"I can't imagine," ranted Mister Teddy bear.

"What are we going to do about it?" fretted Mrs. Rhinoceros.

"Appoint a committee?" argued Mister Teddy bear, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Rhinoceros had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Rhinoceros hysterically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," shouted Mister Teddy bear frenetically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Rhinoceros fearfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," chanted Mister Teddy bear later, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bed on his front porch, looking out over the battlefield and giggling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Rhinoceros. Do come again."

"Just a minute," began Mrs. Rhinoceros threateningly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Teddy bear thought he had answered, and was beginning to get arrogant. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Rhinoceros doing these days?"

Mrs. Rhinoceros would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Teddy bear sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied surreptitiously.