Miss Anaconda And The New Neighbor

Miss Anaconda lived in a countryside in a hovel made of nylon. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hash, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Seal standing there, her hands on her stomach. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Seal," Miss Anaconda fumed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," brought up Mrs. Seal. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" piped up Miss Anaconda suddenly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Manhattan?"

"I can't stay," chimed Mrs. Seal. I just want to ask you what you think of the rat that's come to the countryside.

"I really don't know," taunted Miss Anaconda. "I didn't know about any rat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," voiced Mrs. Seal fiercely. "I heard that this rat likes to throw Frisbees."

"Um, I don't know what to say," nattered Miss Anaconda, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Seal, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the countryside when we get a lot of rats throwing Frisbees?"

"I can't imagine," barked Miss Anaconda.

"What are we going to do about it?" spouted Mrs. Seal.

"Appoint a committee?" cried Miss Anaconda, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Seal had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Seal bitterly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," exclaimed Miss Anaconda woodenly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Seal queerly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," grieved Miss Anaconda caustically, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the settee on her front porch, looking out over the countryside and getting frazzled. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Seal. Do come again."

"Just a minute," declaimed Mrs. Seal slowly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Anaconda thought she had answered, and was beginning to get disorganized. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Seal doing these days?"

Mrs. Seal would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Anaconda sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied sarcastically.