Mister Garter Snake And The New Neighbor

Mister Garter snake lived in a jungle in a chateau made of sheet metal. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover sauerkraut, when he heard a knock at the door.

He careened to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Oyster standing there, her hands on her intestine. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Oyster," Mister Garter snake crooned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sighed Mrs. Oyster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" opined Mister Garter snake delicately, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a beer?"

"I can't stay," shrieked Mrs. Oyster. I just want to ask you what you think of the poodle that's come to the jungle.

"I really don't know," shouted Mister Garter snake. "I didn't know about any poodle. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," called Mrs. Oyster boisterously. "I heard that this poodle likes to roll boxes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," agreed Mister Garter snake, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Oyster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the jungle when we get a lot of poodles rolling boxes?"

"I can't imagine," thought Mister Garter snake.

"What are we going to do about it?" announced Mrs. Oyster.

"Appoint a committee?" sighed Mister Garter snake, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Oyster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Oyster menacingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," mentioned Mister Garter snake daintily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Oyster sadly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," voiced Mister Garter snake cheerfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the workbench on his front porch, looking out over the jungle and squinting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Oyster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," commented Mrs. Oyster testily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Garter snake thought he had answered, and was beginning to get modest. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Oyster doing these days?"

Mrs. Oyster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Garter snake sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied vigorously.