Miss Swan And The New Neighbor

Miss Swan lived in a backyard in a boxcar made of mud. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover country glazed ham, when she heard a knock at the door.

She breezed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Falcon standing there, his hands on his kneecap. "How nice to see you, Mister Falcon," Miss Swan rumored, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," declaimed Mister Falcon. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" agreed Miss Swan unnaturally, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a can of Ensure?"

"I can't stay," sobbed Mister Falcon. I just want to ask you what you think of the manticore that's come to the backyard.

"I really don't know," instructed Miss Swan. "I didn't know about any manticore. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yowled Mister Falcon gruffly. "I heard that this manticore likes to dust dollar bills."

"Um, I don't know what to say," revealed Miss Swan, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Falcon, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the backyard when we get a lot of manticores dusting dollar bills?"

"I can't imagine," declaimed Miss Swan.

"What are we going to do about it?" yelled Mister Falcon.

"Appoint a committee?" recited Miss Swan, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Falcon had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Falcon effortlessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," asked Miss Swan patiently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Falcon haughtily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," panted Miss Swan effortlessly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the china hutch on her front porch, looking out over the backyard and doing the Hokey Pokey. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Falcon. Do come again."

"Just a minute," wept Mister Falcon cheerfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Swan thought she had answered, and was beginning to get talkative. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Falcon doing these days?"

Mister Falcon would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Swan sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied queerly.