Miss Hyena And The New Neighbor

Miss Hyena lived at a crime scene in a chapel made of Formica. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover omelet, when she heard a knock at the door.

She clambered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Rattlesnake standing there, her hands on her bladder. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Rattlesnake," Miss Hyena offered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," tittered Mrs. Rattlesnake. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" yammered Miss Hyena shakily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gimlet?"

"I can't stay," yammered Mrs. Rattlesnake. I just want to ask you what you think of the gazelle that's come to the crime scene.

"I really don't know," hollered Miss Hyena. "I didn't know about any gazelle. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," blustered Mrs. Rattlesnake daringly. "I heard that this gazelle likes to check campaign signs."

"Um, I don't know what to say," acknowledged Miss Hyena, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Rattlesnake, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the crime scene when we get a lot of gazelles checking campaign signs?"

"I can't imagine," yawned Miss Hyena.

"What are we going to do about it?" wondered Mrs. Rattlesnake.

"Appoint a committee?" burbled Miss Hyena, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Rattlesnake had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Rattlesnake quietly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," invited Miss Hyena automatically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Rattlesnake hastily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," appealed Miss Hyena fearlessly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bookshelf on her front porch, looking out over the crime scene and digesting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Rattlesnake. Do come again."

"Just a minute," grieved Mrs. Rattlesnake defiantly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Hyena thought she had answered, and was beginning to get repulsive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Rattlesnake doing these days?"

Mrs. Rattlesnake would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Hyena sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied anxiously.