Miss Pekingese And The New Neighbor

Miss Pekingese lived at a lakeside in a chateau made of Spanish moss. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mulligan stew, when she heard a knock at the door.

She blundered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Salamander standing there, his hands on his hip. "How nice to see you, Mister Salamander," Miss Pekingese swore, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," simpered Mister Salamander. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" debated Miss Pekingese temperamentally, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin sour?"

"I can't stay," added Mister Salamander. I just want to ask you what you think of the lobster that's come to the lakeside.

"I really don't know," howled Miss Pekingese. "I didn't know about any lobster. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," requested Mister Salamander wearily. "I heard that this lobster likes to soften avocados."

"Um, I don't know what to say," requested Miss Pekingese, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Salamander, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lakeside when we get a lot of lobsters softening avocados?"

"I can't imagine," uttered Miss Pekingese.

"What are we going to do about it?" squawked Mister Salamander.

"Appoint a committee?" taunted Miss Pekingese, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Salamander had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Salamander uneasily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," offered Miss Pekingese deliberately, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Salamander testily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," emphasized Miss Pekingese testily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bathtub on her front porch, looking out over the lakeside and praying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Salamander. Do come again."

"Just a minute," exclaimed Mister Salamander ignobly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Pekingese thought she had answered, and was beginning to get dowdy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Salamander doing these days?"

Mister Salamander would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Pekingese sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied shyly.