Miss Hornet And The New Neighbor

Miss Hornet lived at a dump in a cave made of cinder block. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover crumb cake, when she heard a knock at the door.

She strolled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Gila monster standing there, his hands on his eyeball. "How nice to see you, Mister Gila monster," Miss Hornet chattered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," mumbled Mister Gila monster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" emphasized Miss Hornet bitterly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a martini?"

"I can't stay," intimated Mister Gila monster. I just want to ask you what you think of the burro that's come to the dump.

"I really don't know," harangued Miss Hornet. "I didn't know about any burro. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," swore Mister Gila monster violently. "I heard that this burro likes to throw cookies."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sniped Miss Hornet, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Gila monster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dump when we get a lot of burros throwing cookies?"

"I can't imagine," snarled Miss Hornet.

"What are we going to do about it?" declared Mister Gila monster.

"Appoint a committee?" blubbered Miss Hornet, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Gila monster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Gila monster peevishly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," peeped Miss Hornet charmingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Gila monster fearlessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," fumed Miss Hornet sheepishly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the wine rack on her front porch, looking out over the dump and whirling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Gila monster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," spewed Mister Gila monster uselessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Hornet thought she had answered, and was beginning to get refined. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Gila monster doing these days?"

Mister Gila monster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Hornet sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied truculently.