Mister Shrew And The New Neighbor

Mister Shrew lived in a gully in a yurt made of string. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lobster bisque, when he heard a knock at the door.

He crept to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Pig standing there, her hands on her scalp. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Pig," Mister Shrew yowled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," swore Mrs. Pig. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mumbled Mister Shrew silently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a beer?"

"I can't stay," spoke up Mrs. Pig. I just want to ask you what you think of the goblin that's come to the gully.

"I really don't know," purred Mister Shrew. "I didn't know about any goblin. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," railed Mrs. Pig unexpectedly. "I heard that this goblin likes to shrink clothespins."

"Um, I don't know what to say," asserted Mister Shrew, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Pig, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the gully when we get a lot of goblins shrinking clothespins?"

"I can't imagine," sputtered Mister Shrew.

"What are we going to do about it?" laughed Mrs. Pig.

"Appoint a committee?" said Mister Shrew, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Pig had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Pig cruelly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," gabbed Mister Shrew hopelessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Pig admiringly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," announced Mister Shrew daintily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the washing machine on his front porch, looking out over the gully and playing solitaire. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Pig. Do come again."

"Just a minute," observed Mrs. Pig gruffly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Shrew thought he had answered, and was beginning to get fascinating. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Pig doing these days?"

Mrs. Pig would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Shrew sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied cleverly.