Miss Computer And The New Neighbor

Miss Computer lived in a briar patch in a park bench made of peanut butter. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when she heard a knock at the door.

She traipsed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Prairie dog standing there, his hands on his tongue. "How nice to see you, Mister Prairie dog," Miss Computer demanded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," asserted Mister Prairie dog. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" uttered Miss Computer carelessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," sputtered Mister Prairie dog. I just want to ask you what you think of the skunk that's come to the briar patch.

"I really don't know," complained Miss Computer. "I didn't know about any skunk. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," indicated Mister Prairie dog peevishly. "I heard that this skunk likes to hang rolls of duct tape."

"Um, I don't know what to say," spewed Miss Computer, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Prairie dog, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the briar patch when we get a lot of skunks hanging rolls of duct tape?"

"I can't imagine," questioned Miss Computer.

"What are we going to do about it?" growled Mister Prairie dog.

"Appoint a committee?" retorted Miss Computer, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Prairie dog had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Prairie dog quietly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," noted Miss Computer again, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Prairie dog calmly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," offered Miss Computer miserably, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the card table on her front porch, looking out over the briar patch and crying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Prairie dog. Do come again."

"Just a minute," yelped Mister Prairie dog admiringly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Computer thought she had answered, and was beginning to get naïve. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Prairie dog doing these days?"

Mister Prairie dog would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Computer sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied dolorously.