Mister Doggie And The New Neighbor

Mister Doggie lived in a buffalo wallow in an igloo made of Scotch tape. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover beef bouillon, when he heard a knock at the door.

He rolled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Siamese cat standing there, his hands on his bladder. "How nice to see you, Mister Siamese cat," Mister Doggie yelled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," nattered Mister Siamese cat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" divulged Mister Doggie wildly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Manhattan?"

"I can't stay," fantasized Mister Siamese cat. I just want to ask you what you think of the cheetah that's come to the buffalo wallow.

"I really don't know," whimpered Mister Doggie. "I didn't know about any cheetah. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chortled Mister Siamese cat sadly. "I heard that this cheetah likes to liquify bird baths."

"Um, I don't know what to say," called Mister Doggie, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Siamese cat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the buffalo wallow when we get a lot of cheetahs liquifying bird baths?"

"I can't imagine," yelped Mister Doggie.

"What are we going to do about it?" retorted Mister Siamese cat.

"Appoint a committee?" judged Mister Doggie, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Siamese cat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Siamese cat bravely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," groaned Mister Doggie glumly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Siamese cat bitterly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," rambled Mister Doggie surreptitiously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the washstand on his front porch, looking out over the buffalo wallow and watching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Siamese cat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," cried Mister Siamese cat bravely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Doggie thought he had answered, and was beginning to get nervous. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Siamese cat doing these days?"

Mister Siamese cat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Doggie sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied glibly.