Mister Penguin And The New Neighbor

Mister Penguin lived on a seacoast in a closet made of sheet metal. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cinnamon toast, when he heard a knock at the door.

He jumped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Cockroach standing there, his hands on his ego. "How nice to see you, Mister Cockroach," Mister Penguin quavered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," pointed out Mister Cockroach. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" squealed Mister Penguin gracefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a beer?"

"I can't stay," protested Mister Cockroach. I just want to ask you what you think of the Guinea pig that's come to the seacoast.

"I really don't know," protested Mister Penguin. "I didn't know about any Guinea pig. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," accused Mister Cockroach crankily. "I heard that this Guinea pig likes to dress firecrackers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," maintained Mister Penguin, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cockroach, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the seacoast when we get a lot of Guinea pigs dressing firecrackers?"

"I can't imagine," shuddered Mister Penguin.

"What are we going to do about it?" taunted Mister Cockroach.

"Appoint a committee?" whimpered Mister Penguin, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cockroach had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cockroach viciously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," wept Mister Penguin flightily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cockroach cautiously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," reasoned Mister Penguin arrogantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the mattress on his front porch, looking out over the seacoast and pondering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cockroach. Do come again."

"Just a minute," cried Mister Cockroach slowly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Penguin thought he had answered, and was beginning to get rapacious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cockroach doing these days?"

Mister Cockroach would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Penguin sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied openly.