Mister Bat And The New Neighbor

Mister Bat lived on a plain in a wikiup made of paper clips. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover waffles, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tore to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Phantom standing there, his hands on his belly. "How nice to see you, Mister Phantom," Mister Bat warbled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," tittered Mister Phantom. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" taunted Mister Bat effortlessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Dr. Pepper?"

"I can't stay," declaimed Mister Phantom. I just want to ask you what you think of the turkey that's come to the plain.

"I really don't know," brought up Mister Bat. "I didn't know about any turkey. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chimed Mister Phantom fearfully. "I heard that this turkey likes to punch doilies."

"Um, I don't know what to say," admitted Mister Bat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Phantom, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plain when we get a lot of turkeys punching doilies?"

"I can't imagine," swore Mister Bat.

"What are we going to do about it?" murmured Mister Phantom.

"Appoint a committee?" offered Mister Bat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Phantom had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Phantom briskly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," screeched Mister Bat ferociously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Phantom victoriously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," rebutted Mister Bat coldly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the china hutch on his front porch, looking out over the plain and pondering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Phantom. Do come again."

"Just a minute," swore Mister Phantom nicely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Bat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get thoughtful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Phantom doing these days?"

Mister Phantom would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Bat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied daintily.