Miss Goldfish And The New Neighbor

Miss Goldfish lived in a briar patch in a spa made of papier-mâché. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover blueberry pie, when she heard a knock at the door.

She lurched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Mule standing there, his hands on his throat. "How nice to see you, Mister Mule," Miss Goldfish spat, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," simpered Mister Mule. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" began Miss Goldfish charmingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Moscow mule?"

"I can't stay," said Mister Mule. I just want to ask you what you think of the android that's come to the briar patch.

"I really don't know," warbled Miss Goldfish. "I didn't know about any android. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," roared Mister Mule hastily. "I heard that this android likes to destroy pictures."

"Um, I don't know what to say," whined Miss Goldfish, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Mule, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the briar patch when we get a lot of androids destroying pictures?"

"I can't imagine," blurted Miss Goldfish.

"What are we going to do about it?" whispered Mister Mule.

"Appoint a committee?" wept Miss Goldfish, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Mule had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Mule joyously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," boomed Miss Goldfish gruffly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Mule grandly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," taunted Miss Goldfish warily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the cash register on her front porch, looking out over the briar patch and exercising. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Mule. Do come again."

"Just a minute," sighed Mister Mule softly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Goldfish thought she had answered, and was beginning to get sanguine. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Mule doing these days?"

Mister Mule would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Goldfish sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied courteously.