Mister Chihuahua And The New Neighbor

Mister Chihuahua lived on a hillside in a ranch house made of uranium. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover banana split, when he heard a knock at the door.

He lumbered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Chipmunk standing there, his hands on his spleen. "How nice to see you, Mister Chipmunk," Mister Chihuahua blathered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," preached Mister Chipmunk. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" disputed Mister Chihuahua thoughtfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Long Island iced tea?"

"I can't stay," drawled Mister Chipmunk. I just want to ask you what you think of the quail that's come to the hillside.

"I really don't know," declaimed Mister Chihuahua. "I didn't know about any quail. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," protested Mister Chipmunk tensely. "I heard that this quail likes to break pain pills."

"Um, I don't know what to say," fantasized Mister Chihuahua, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Chipmunk, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hillside when we get a lot of quails breaking pain pills?"

"I can't imagine," snorted Mister Chihuahua.

"What are we going to do about it?" voiced Mister Chipmunk.

"Appoint a committee?" stuttered Mister Chihuahua, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Chipmunk had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Chipmunk gently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," requested Mister Chihuahua breathlessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Chipmunk pitifully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," concluded Mister Chihuahua trustingly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the end table on his front porch, looking out over the hillside and carrying on. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Chipmunk. Do come again."

"Just a minute," belched Mister Chipmunk sheepishly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Chihuahua thought he had answered, and was beginning to get rude. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Chipmunk doing these days?"

Mister Chipmunk would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Chihuahua sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied bravely.