Miss Robot And The New Neighbor

Miss Robot lived on a mountainside in a chapel made of plaster of Paris. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fish and chips, when she heard a knock at the door.

She lurched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Jackal standing there, her hands on her bicep. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Jackal," Miss Robot insisted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," breathed Mrs. Jackal. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" drawled Miss Robot testily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Manhattan?"

"I can't stay," yowled Mrs. Jackal. I just want to ask you what you think of the cobra that's come to the mountainside.

"I really don't know," groveled Miss Robot. "I didn't know about any cobra. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," whispered Mrs. Jackal softly. "I heard that this cobra likes to enclose sponges."

"Um, I don't know what to say," continued Miss Robot, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Jackal, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountainside when we get a lot of cobras enclosing sponges?"

"I can't imagine," began Miss Robot.

"What are we going to do about it?" railed Mrs. Jackal.

"Appoint a committee?" nattered Miss Robot, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Jackal had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Jackal curiously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," simpered Miss Robot excitedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Jackal immediately. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," fumed Miss Robot sweetly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the washing machine on her front porch, looking out over the mountainside and freaking out. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Jackal. Do come again."

"Just a minute," squawked Mrs. Jackal sagely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Robot thought she had answered, and was beginning to get gregarious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Jackal doing these days?"

Mrs. Jackal would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Robot sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied doubtfully.