Miss Anaconda And The New Neighbor

Miss Anaconda lived on a mountainside in a Victorian mansion made of flax. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover strawberry shortcake, when she heard a knock at the door.

She stalked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Mink standing there, his hands on his hoof. "How nice to see you, Mister Mink," Miss Anaconda called, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," protested Mister Mink. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" panted Miss Anaconda energetically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of water?"

"I can't stay," screamed Mister Mink. I just want to ask you what you think of the ape that's come to the mountainside.

"I really don't know," smirked Miss Anaconda. "I didn't know about any ape. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," explained Mister Mink lamely. "I heard that this ape likes to hack bicycles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," reasoned Miss Anaconda, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Mink, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountainside when we get a lot of apes hacking bicycles?"

"I can't imagine," exploded Miss Anaconda.

"What are we going to do about it?" begged Mister Mink.

"Appoint a committee?" pronounced Miss Anaconda, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Mink had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Mink blissfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," intoned Miss Anaconda gracefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Mink narrowly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," intimated Miss Anaconda coolly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the dresser on her front porch, looking out over the mountainside and frowning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Mink. Do come again."

"Just a minute," maintained Mister Mink innocently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Anaconda thought she had answered, and was beginning to get frightened. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Mink doing these days?"

Mister Mink would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Anaconda sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied busily.