Mister Newt And The New Neighbor

Mister Newt lived in a swamp in a condominium made of Velcro. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fried eggs, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sallied forth to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Cockroach standing there, his hands on his hairdo. "How nice to see you, Mister Cockroach," Mister Newt crooned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," croaked Mister Cockroach. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" sputtered Mister Newt cleverly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot buttered rum?"

"I can't stay," pronounced Mister Cockroach. I just want to ask you what you think of the robot that's come to the swamp.

"I really don't know," offered Mister Newt. "I didn't know about any robot. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," squealed Mister Cockroach suddenly. "I heard that this robot likes to drag pairs of headphones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," boomed Mister Newt, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cockroach, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the swamp when we get a lot of robots dragging pairs of headphones?"

"I can't imagine," invited Mister Newt.

"What are we going to do about it?" stated Mister Cockroach.

"Appoint a committee?" added Mister Newt, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cockroach had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cockroach tearfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," yelped Mister Newt pityingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cockroach courteously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," pronounced Mister Newt irritably, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bunk bed on his front porch, looking out over the swamp and fainting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cockroach. Do come again."

"Just a minute," bragged Mister Cockroach rapidly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Newt thought he had answered, and was beginning to get amiable. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cockroach doing these days?"

Mister Cockroach would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Newt sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sorrowfully.