Mister Moose And The New Neighbor

Mister Moose lived on a grassy knoll in a parsonage made of Bakelite. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover dirty rice, when he heard a knock at the door.

He paraded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Badger standing there, his hands on his wig. "How nice to see you, Mister Badger," Mister Moose vouched, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," spoke up Mister Badger. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" begged Mister Moose nervously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mai Tai?"

"I can't stay," griped Mister Badger. I just want to ask you what you think of the mustang that's come to the grassy knoll.

"I really don't know," analyzed Mister Moose. "I didn't know about any mustang. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," cried Mister Badger nicely. "I heard that this mustang likes to lynch tissues."

"Um, I don't know what to say," bellowed Mister Moose, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Badger, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassy knoll when we get a lot of mustangs lynching tissues?"

"I can't imagine," fantasized Mister Moose.

"What are we going to do about it?" chortled Mister Badger.

"Appoint a committee?" harangued Mister Moose, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Badger had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Badger sweetly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," intoned Mister Moose hopelessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Badger sternly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," wailed Mister Moose automatically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the canopy bed on his front porch, looking out over the grassy knoll and yawning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Badger. Do come again."

"Just a minute," stammered Mister Badger crossly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Moose thought he had answered, and was beginning to get brave. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Badger doing these days?"

Mister Badger would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Moose sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sweetly.