Miss Toad And The New Neighbor

Miss Toad lived in a cave in a townhouse made of spandex. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ceviche, when she heard a knock at the door.

She scurried to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Gnu standing there, his hands on his chin. "How nice to see you, Mister Gnu," Miss Toad blubbered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sobbed Mister Gnu. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" stormed Miss Toad primly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a secret potion?"

"I can't stay," moaned Mister Gnu. I just want to ask you what you think of the grasshopper that's come to the cave.

"I really don't know," said Miss Toad. "I didn't know about any grasshopper. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sniped Mister Gnu dolorously. "I heard that this grasshopper likes to extend yo-yos."

"Um, I don't know what to say," provoked Miss Toad, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Gnu, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cave when we get a lot of grasshoppers extending yo-yos?"

"I can't imagine," rambled Miss Toad.

"What are we going to do about it?" said Mister Gnu.

"Appoint a committee?" mouthed Miss Toad, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Gnu had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Gnu brashly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," grunted Miss Toad suddenly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Gnu valiantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," proposed Miss Toad dolefully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the nightstand on her front porch, looking out over the cave and weeping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Gnu. Do come again."

"Just a minute," instructed Mister Gnu pitifully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Toad thought she had answered, and was beginning to get bilious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Gnu doing these days?"

Mister Gnu would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Toad sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied uneasily.