Mister Chameleon And The New Neighbor

Mister Chameleon lived in a lagoon in a nunnery made of spandex. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lamb curry, when he heard a knock at the door.

He ambled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Gnu standing there, her hands on her toupee. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Gnu," Mister Chameleon gasped, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," divulged Mrs. Gnu. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" joked Mister Chameleon nicely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a chocolate milk?"

"I can't stay," chimed Mrs. Gnu. I just want to ask you what you think of the yak that's come to the lagoon.

"I really don't know," smiled Mister Chameleon. "I didn't know about any yak. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," asserted Mrs. Gnu dolefully. "I heard that this yak likes to demolish cigarette lighters."

"Um, I don't know what to say," analyzed Mister Chameleon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Gnu, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lagoon when we get a lot of yaks demolishing cigarette lighters?"

"I can't imagine," clarified Mister Chameleon.

"What are we going to do about it?" asked Mrs. Gnu.

"Appoint a committee?" asked Mister Chameleon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Gnu had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Gnu steadily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," purred Mister Chameleon gently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Gnu peevishly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," prattled Mister Chameleon intensely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the workbench on his front porch, looking out over the lagoon and growling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Gnu. Do come again."

"Just a minute," groveled Mrs. Gnu jokingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Chameleon thought he had answered, and was beginning to get disorganized. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Gnu doing these days?"

Mrs. Gnu would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Chameleon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied fiercely.