Mister Hornet And The New Neighbor

Mister Hornet lived in a lagoon in a boxcar made of cold rolled steel. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover egg drop soup, when he heard a knock at the door.

He bounced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Shark standing there, his hands on his appendix. "How nice to see you, Mister Shark," Mister Hornet whimpered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," taunted Mister Shark. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" whined Mister Hornet repeatedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a sarsaparilla?"

"I can't stay," spat Mister Shark. I just want to ask you what you think of the squirrel that's come to the lagoon.

"I really don't know," yammered Mister Hornet. "I didn't know about any squirrel. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," implored Mister Shark humbly. "I heard that this squirrel likes to mutilate African violets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," announced Mister Hornet, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Shark, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lagoon when we get a lot of squirrels mutilating African violets?"

"I can't imagine," persisted Mister Hornet.

"What are we going to do about it?" conversed Mister Shark.

"Appoint a committee?" imitated Mister Hornet, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Shark had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Shark ferociously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," admitted Mister Hornet despondently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Shark needlessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," groaned Mister Hornet menacingly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the stairway on his front porch, looking out over the lagoon and getting away. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Shark. Do come again."

"Just a minute," fumed Mister Shark truculently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Hornet thought he had answered, and was beginning to get witty. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Shark doing these days?"

Mister Shark would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Hornet sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied roughly.