Mister Gila Monster And The New Neighbor

Mister Gila monster lived on a hill in a dugout made of cornstalks. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover popcorn, when he heard a knock at the door.

He crawled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Mountain goat standing there, his hands on his midriff. "How nice to see you, Mister Mountain goat," Mister Gila monster lectured, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," revealed Mister Mountain goat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" declared Mister Gila monster fearlessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bloody Mary?"

"I can't stay," appealed Mister Mountain goat. I just want to ask you what you think of the grizzly bear that's come to the hill.

"I really don't know," disputed Mister Gila monster. "I didn't know about any grizzly bear. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sneered Mister Mountain goat craftily. "I heard that this grizzly bear likes to measure firecrackers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," nattered Mister Gila monster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Mountain goat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hill when we get a lot of grizzly bears measureing firecrackers?"

"I can't imagine," squeaked Mister Gila monster.

"What are we going to do about it?" smirked Mister Mountain goat.

"Appoint a committee?" persisted Mister Gila monster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Mountain goat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Mountain goat positively. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," groaned Mister Gila monster quickly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Mountain goat languidly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," provoked Mister Gila monster smoothly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the carpet on his front porch, looking out over the hill and backing down. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Mountain goat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," begged Mister Mountain goat repeatedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Gila monster thought he had answered, and was beginning to get amiable. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Mountain goat doing these days?"

Mister Mountain goat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Gila monster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied jokingly.