Mister Tapeworm And The New Neighbor

Mister Tapeworm lived in a countryside in a brownstone made of palm leaves. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast beef, when he heard a knock at the door.

He whirled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Macaque standing there, her hands on her funny bone. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Macaque," Mister Tapeworm repeated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," acknowledged Mrs. Macaque. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" panted Mister Tapeworm quietly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of hot cider?"

"I can't stay," asked Mrs. Macaque. I just want to ask you what you think of the peacock that's come to the countryside.

"I really don't know," snorted Mister Tapeworm. "I didn't know about any peacock. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sneered Mrs. Macaque doubtfully. "I heard that this peacock likes to mark pairs of headphones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," belched Mister Tapeworm, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Macaque, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the countryside when we get a lot of peacocks marking pairs of headphones?"

"I can't imagine," chimed Mister Tapeworm.

"What are we going to do about it?" added Mrs. Macaque.

"Appoint a committee?" sputtered Mister Tapeworm, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Macaque had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Macaque surreptitiously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," muttered Mister Tapeworm crossly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Macaque rapidly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," cried Mister Tapeworm frenetically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the sofa on his front porch, looking out over the countryside and blushing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Macaque. Do come again."

"Just a minute," blubbered Mrs. Macaque gratefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Tapeworm thought he had answered, and was beginning to get high-strung. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Macaque doing these days?"

Mrs. Macaque would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Tapeworm sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied peevishly.