Mister Gerbil And The New Neighbor

Mister Gerbil lived in a grassland in a closet made of egg shells. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover egg rolls, when he heard a knock at the door.

He marched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Wolf standing there, his hands on his belly button. "How nice to see you, Mister Wolf," Mister Gerbil protested, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," stormed Mister Wolf. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" bellowed Mister Gerbil fervently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a bottle of Gatorade?"

"I can't stay," sniveled Mister Wolf. I just want to ask you what you think of the colt that's come to the grassland.

"I really don't know," ranted Mister Gerbil. "I didn't know about any colt. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," enunciated Mister Wolf numbly. "I heard that this colt likes to whack hot potatoes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," began Mister Gerbil, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Wolf, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassland when we get a lot of colts whacking hot potatoes?"

"I can't imagine," swore Mister Gerbil.

"What are we going to do about it?" vouched Mister Wolf.

"Appoint a committee?" whimpered Mister Gerbil, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Wolf had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Wolf stupidly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," lectured Mister Gerbil lazily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Wolf energetically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," shrieked Mister Gerbil curiously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the water bed on his front porch, looking out over the grassland and hollering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Wolf. Do come again."

"Just a minute," declared Mister Wolf brashly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Gerbil thought he had answered, and was beginning to get fearless. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Wolf doing these days?"

Mister Wolf would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Gerbil sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied offhandedly.