Mister Crab And The New Neighbor

Mister Crab lived in a country meadow in a cave made of cinder block. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover egg drop soup, when he heard a knock at the door.

He clambered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Doberman standing there, her hands on her chin. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Doberman," Mister Crab yelped, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," snarled Mrs. Doberman. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" lectured Mister Crab tenderly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of water?"

"I can't stay," sniffed Mrs. Doberman. I just want to ask you what you think of the toad that's come to the country meadow.

"I really don't know," yowled Mister Crab. "I didn't know about any toad. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," explained Mrs. Doberman happily. "I heard that this toad likes to package cowbells."

"Um, I don't know what to say," smiled Mister Crab, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Doberman, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the country meadow when we get a lot of toads packaging cowbells?"

"I can't imagine," cackled Mister Crab.

"What are we going to do about it?" bawled Mrs. Doberman.

"Appoint a committee?" whimpered Mister Crab, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Doberman had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Doberman wearily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," screamed Mister Crab glumly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Doberman daringly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," giggled Mister Crab furiously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the coffee table on his front porch, looking out over the country meadow and ruminating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Doberman. Do come again."

"Just a minute," disputed Mrs. Doberman unnaturally. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Crab thought he had answered, and was beginning to get repulsive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Doberman doing these days?"

Mrs. Doberman would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Crab sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied curiously.