Mister Pig And The New Neighbor

Mister Pig lived on a moonscape in a Victorian mansion made of nuts and bolts. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pot roast, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tore to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Crab standing there, his hands on his waist. "How nice to see you, Mister Crab," Mister Pig shouted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," commented Mister Crab. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" spouted Mister Pig lovingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a 7-Up?"

"I can't stay," drawled Mister Crab. I just want to ask you what you think of the hedgehog that's come to the moonscape.

"I really don't know," opined Mister Pig. "I didn't know about any hedgehog. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," blurted Mister Crab effortlessly. "I heard that this hedgehog likes to prune hubcaps."

"Um, I don't know what to say," asserted Mister Pig, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Crab, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the moonscape when we get a lot of hedgehogs pruning hubcaps?"

"I can't imagine," concluded Mister Pig.

"What are we going to do about it?" instructed Mister Crab.

"Appoint a committee?" mused Mister Pig, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Crab had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Crab gruffly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," mouthed Mister Pig cautiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Crab slyly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," giggled Mister Pig tensely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the nightstand on his front porch, looking out over the moonscape and crouching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Crab. Do come again."

"Just a minute," harangued Mister Crab defiantly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Pig thought he had answered, and was beginning to get cuddly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Crab doing these days?"

Mister Crab would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Pig sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied doubtfully.