Miss Pheasant And The New Neighbor

Miss Pheasant lived in a park in an igloo made of concrete. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cinnamon toast, when she heard a knock at the door.

She slipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Rattlesnake standing there, her hands on her throat. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Rattlesnake," Miss Pheasant crooned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," stuttered Mrs. Rattlesnake. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" argued Miss Pheasant viciously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a whiskey sour?"

"I can't stay," pleaded Mrs. Rattlesnake. I just want to ask you what you think of the lovebird that's come to the park.

"I really don't know," chimed Miss Pheasant. "I didn't know about any lovebird. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," blathered Mrs. Rattlesnake quickly. "I heard that this lovebird likes to destroy toilet plungers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," recited Miss Pheasant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Rattlesnake, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the park when we get a lot of lovebirds destroying toilet plungers?"

"I can't imagine," instructed Miss Pheasant.

"What are we going to do about it?" barked Mrs. Rattlesnake.

"Appoint a committee?" preached Miss Pheasant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Rattlesnake had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Rattlesnake gruffly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," offered Miss Pheasant kindly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Rattlesnake automatically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," clarified Miss Pheasant gruffly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bookshelf on her front porch, looking out over the park and chanting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Rattlesnake. Do come again."

"Just a minute," murmured Mrs. Rattlesnake offhandedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Pheasant thought she had answered, and was beginning to get sleek. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Rattlesnake doing these days?"

Mrs. Rattlesnake would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Pheasant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied happily.