Mister Lark And The New Neighbor

Mister Lark lived at a crime scene in a chapel made of sheet metal. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover borscht, when he heard a knock at the door.

He skittered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Toad standing there, her hands on her claw. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Toad," Mister Lark simpered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," gabbed Mrs. Toad. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mentioned Mister Lark queerly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Moscow mule?"

"I can't stay," remarked Mrs. Toad. I just want to ask you what you think of the yak that's come to the crime scene.

"I really don't know," squeaked Mister Lark. "I didn't know about any yak. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," wailed Mrs. Toad nonchalantly. "I heard that this yak likes to ignore hats."

"Um, I don't know what to say," worried Mister Lark, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Toad, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the crime scene when we get a lot of yaks ignoring hats?"

"I can't imagine," chanted Mister Lark.

"What are we going to do about it?" croaked Mrs. Toad.

"Appoint a committee?" informed Mister Lark, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Toad had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Toad dolorously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," screeched Mister Lark nervously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Toad gently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," panted Mister Lark gently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the wardrobe on his front porch, looking out over the crime scene and getting frazzled. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Toad. Do come again."

"Just a minute," tittered Mrs. Toad queerly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Lark thought he had answered, and was beginning to get dumb. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Toad doing these days?"

Mrs. Toad would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Lark sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied neatly.