Mister Lark And The New Neighbor

Mister Lark lived in a jungle in a KOA Kampground made of tissue. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover falafel, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tore to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Lamb standing there, her hands on her ear. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Lamb," Mister Lark declared, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," griped Mrs. Lamb. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" implored Mister Lark warmly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mai Tai?"

"I can't stay," concluded Mrs. Lamb. I just want to ask you what you think of the tarantula that's come to the jungle.

"I really don't know," invited Mister Lark. "I didn't know about any tarantula. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," judged Mrs. Lamb suddenly. "I heard that this tarantula likes to exclude candy canes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," repeated Mister Lark, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Lamb, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the jungle when we get a lot of tarantulas excluding candy canes?"

"I can't imagine," agreed Mister Lark.

"What are we going to do about it?" proposed Mrs. Lamb.

"Appoint a committee?" burbled Mister Lark, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Lamb had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Lamb sympathetically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," enunciated Mister Lark strictly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Lamb intensely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," shouted Mister Lark thankfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bathtub on his front porch, looking out over the jungle and calming down. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Lamb. Do come again."

"Just a minute," shouted Mrs. Lamb suddenly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Lark thought he had answered, and was beginning to get bald. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Lamb doing these days?"

Mrs. Lamb would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Lark sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied accidentally.