Miss Hornet And The New Neighbor

Miss Hornet lived on a veld in a castle made of silver. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hors d'oeuvre, when she heard a knock at the door.

She crawled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Hermit crab standing there, his hands on his forehead. "How nice to see you, Mister Hermit crab," Miss Hornet gabbed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," croaked Mister Hermit crab. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" griped Miss Hornet blankly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Pepto Bismol?"

"I can't stay," debated Mister Hermit crab. I just want to ask you what you think of the boa constrictor that's come to the veld.

"I really don't know," disputed Miss Hornet. "I didn't know about any boa constrictor. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," explained Mister Hermit crab silently. "I heard that this boa constrictor likes to harden brushes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," screeched Miss Hornet, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Hermit crab, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the veld when we get a lot of boa constrictors hardening brushes?"

"I can't imagine," giggled Miss Hornet.

"What are we going to do about it?" interpreted Mister Hermit crab.

"Appoint a committee?" hissed Miss Hornet, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Hermit crab had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Hermit crab clumsily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," babbled Miss Hornet slowly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Hermit crab fervently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," taunted Miss Hornet courageously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the overstuffed chair on her front porch, looking out over the veld and throwing up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Hermit crab. Do come again."

"Just a minute," stammered Mister Hermit crab brashly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Hornet thought she had answered, and was beginning to get queer. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Hermit crab doing these days?"

Mister Hermit crab would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Hornet sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied irritably.