Miss Spider And The New Neighbor

Miss Spider lived in a forest in a flat made of porcelain. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lobster bisque, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sailed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Tapeworm standing there, her hands on her appendix. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Tapeworm," Miss Spider bragged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," spat Mrs. Tapeworm. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" nattered Miss Spider quietly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an old fashioned?"

"I can't stay," retorted Mrs. Tapeworm. I just want to ask you what you think of the tropical fish that's come to the forest.

"I really don't know," yawned Miss Spider. "I didn't know about any tropical fish. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," wept Mrs. Tapeworm unnaturally. "I heard that this tropical fish likes to finish dollhouses."

"Um, I don't know what to say," proposed Miss Spider, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Tapeworm, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the forest when we get a lot of tropical fish finishing dollhouses?"

"I can't imagine," groaned Miss Spider.

"What are we going to do about it?" squealed Mrs. Tapeworm.

"Appoint a committee?" mentioned Miss Spider, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Tapeworm had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Tapeworm carefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," giggled Miss Spider firmly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Tapeworm hopefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," grieved Miss Spider temperamentally, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bar stool on her front porch, looking out over the forest and jerking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Tapeworm. Do come again."

"Just a minute," realized Mrs. Tapeworm neatly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Spider thought she had answered, and was beginning to get artistic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Tapeworm doing these days?"

Mrs. Tapeworm would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Spider sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied delicately.