Mister Porcupine And The New Neighbor

Mister Porcupine lived beside a river in a townhouse made of pebbles. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lasagna, when he heard a knock at the door.

He traipsed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Cheetah standing there, her hands on her heart. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Cheetah," Mister Porcupine thought, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," boomed Mrs. Cheetah. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" ranted Mister Porcupine diligently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin sour?"

"I can't stay," yelled Mrs. Cheetah. I just want to ask you what you think of the porcupine that's come to the river.

"I really don't know," intoned Mister Porcupine. "I didn't know about any porcupine. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," uttered Mrs. Cheetah narrowly. "I heard that this porcupine likes to label screwdrivers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," imitated Mister Porcupine, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Cheetah, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the river when we get a lot of porcupines labeling screwdrivers?"

"I can't imagine," yelled Mister Porcupine.

"What are we going to do about it?" wailed Mrs. Cheetah.

"Appoint a committee?" tittered Mister Porcupine, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Cheetah had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Cheetah demurely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," announced Mister Porcupine sadly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Cheetah repeatedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," shrieked Mister Porcupine furiously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the rug on his front porch, looking out over the river and twitching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Cheetah. Do come again."

"Just a minute," quavered Mrs. Cheetah gratefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Porcupine thought he had answered, and was beginning to get vivacious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Cheetah doing these days?"

Mrs. Cheetah would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Porcupine sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied speedily.