Mister Rhinoceros And The New Neighbor

Mister Rhinoceros lived in a canyon in a wikiup made of tempered glass. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when he heard a knock at the door.

He waded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Monster standing there, her hands on her calf. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Monster," Mister Rhinoceros mouthed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," smiled Mrs. Monster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" rambled Mister Rhinoceros gruffly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin sour?"

"I can't stay," cajoled Mrs. Monster. I just want to ask you what you think of the rooster that's come to the canyon.

"I really don't know," growled Mister Rhinoceros. "I didn't know about any rooster. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," asked Mrs. Monster briskly. "I heard that this rooster likes to dispose of sea shells."

"Um, I don't know what to say," reasoned Mister Rhinoceros, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Monster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the canyon when we get a lot of roosters disposing of sea shells?"

"I can't imagine," maintained Mister Rhinoceros.

"What are we going to do about it?" muttered Mrs. Monster.

"Appoint a committee?" tittered Mister Rhinoceros, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Monster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Monster unexpectedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," invited Mister Rhinoceros lovingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Monster sympathetically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," lectured Mister Rhinoceros coolly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the coffee table on his front porch, looking out over the canyon and rocking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Monster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," demanded Mrs. Monster oddly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Rhinoceros thought he had answered, and was beginning to get big. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Monster doing these days?"

Mrs. Monster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Rhinoceros sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied suavely.