Miss Gecko And The New Neighbor

Miss Gecko lived on a steppe in a wigwam made of Kevlar. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover corn on the cob, when she heard a knock at the door.

She leapt to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Salamander standing there, his hands on his ego. "How nice to see you, Mister Salamander," Miss Gecko thought, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," intimated Mister Salamander. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" lamented Miss Gecko stupidly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cappuccino?"

"I can't stay," imitated Mister Salamander. I just want to ask you what you think of the bat that's come to the steppe.

"I really don't know," burbled Miss Gecko. "I didn't know about any bat. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," conversed Mister Salamander wearily. "I heard that this bat likes to stash pencil sharpeners."

"Um, I don't know what to say," lectured Miss Gecko, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Salamander, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the steppe when we get a lot of bats stashing pencil sharpeners?"

"I can't imagine," chimed Miss Gecko.

"What are we going to do about it?" professed Mister Salamander.

"Appoint a committee?" breathed Miss Gecko, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Salamander had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Salamander bitterly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," retorted Miss Gecko coldly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Salamander automatically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," lamented Miss Gecko grandly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the buffet on her front porch, looking out over the steppe and screaming. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Salamander. Do come again."

"Just a minute," pleaded Mister Salamander cautiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Gecko thought she had answered, and was beginning to get insane. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Salamander doing these days?"

Mister Salamander would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Gecko sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied dolefully.