Mister Tiger And The New Neighbor

Mister Tiger lived in a landfill in a barracks made of marble. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover smoked salmon, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tiptoed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Squirrel standing there, her hands on her little toe. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Squirrel," Mister Tiger reminded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," informed Mrs. Squirrel. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" rambled Mister Tiger angrily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a piña colada?"

"I can't stay," interpreted Mrs. Squirrel. I just want to ask you what you think of the donkey that's come to the landfill.

"I really don't know," swore Mister Tiger. "I didn't know about any donkey. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," fumed Mrs. Squirrel positively. "I heard that this donkey likes to modify boomerangs."

"Um, I don't know what to say," simpered Mister Tiger, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Squirrel, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the landfill when we get a lot of donkeys modifying boomerangs?"

"I can't imagine," purred Mister Tiger.

"What are we going to do about it?" vouched Mrs. Squirrel.

"Appoint a committee?" professed Mister Tiger, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Squirrel had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Squirrel nicely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," admitted Mister Tiger viciously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Squirrel hastily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," smiled Mister Tiger repeatedly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the dining table on his front porch, looking out over the landfill and wiggling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Squirrel. Do come again."

"Just a minute," contended Mrs. Squirrel dolorously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Tiger thought he had answered, and was beginning to get miniscule. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Squirrel doing these days?"

Mrs. Squirrel would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Tiger sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied dubiously.