Mister Ferret And The New Neighbor

Mister Ferret lived in a landfill in a loft made of tin. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken gumbo, when he heard a knock at the door.

He rolled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Pigeon standing there, her hands on her throat. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Pigeon," Mister Ferret exploded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," articulated Mrs. Pigeon. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" harangued Mister Ferret pityingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of KoolAid?"

"I can't stay," queried Mrs. Pigeon. I just want to ask you what you think of the zebra that's come to the landfill.

"I really don't know," gasped Mister Ferret. "I didn't know about any zebra. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," declaimed Mrs. Pigeon bitterly. "I heard that this zebra likes to disguise baby dolls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," orated Mister Ferret, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Pigeon, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the landfill when we get a lot of zebras disguising baby dolls?"

"I can't imagine," hissed Mister Ferret.

"What are we going to do about it?" fantasized Mrs. Pigeon.

"Appoint a committee?" gabbed Mister Ferret, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Pigeon had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Pigeon queerly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," muttered Mister Ferret uselessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Pigeon nimbly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," lectured Mister Ferret charmingly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the casket on his front porch, looking out over the landfill and shivering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Pigeon. Do come again."

"Just a minute," appealed Mrs. Pigeon busily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ferret thought he had answered, and was beginning to get crazy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Pigeon doing these days?"

Mrs. Pigeon would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ferret sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied uselessly.