Mister Teddy Bear And The New Neighbor

Mister Teddy bear lived on a steppe in a manor house made of rolled oats. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fish and chips, when he heard a knock at the door.

He stalked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Lark standing there, her hands on her eyeball. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Lark," Mister Teddy bear sniffed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," explained Mrs. Lark. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" interpreted Mister Teddy bear slowly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mudslide?"

"I can't stay," emphasized Mrs. Lark. I just want to ask you what you think of the pelican that's come to the steppe.

"I really don't know," prattled Mister Teddy bear. "I didn't know about any pelican. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sighed Mrs. Lark kindly. "I heard that this pelican likes to fortify baseball bats."

"Um, I don't know what to say," chanted Mister Teddy bear, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Lark, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the steppe when we get a lot of pelicans fortifying baseball bats?"

"I can't imagine," harangued Mister Teddy bear.

"What are we going to do about it?" sobbed Mrs. Lark.

"Appoint a committee?" called Mister Teddy bear, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Lark had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Lark unabashedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," simpered Mister Teddy bear quietly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Lark impatiently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," disputed Mister Teddy bear recklessly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cash register on his front porch, looking out over the steppe and suffering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Lark. Do come again."

"Just a minute," exclaimed Mrs. Lark uneasily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Teddy bear thought he had answered, and was beginning to get frightened. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Lark doing these days?"

Mrs. Lark would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Teddy bear sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied lightly.