Mister Gopher And The New Neighbor

Mister Gopher lived in a forest in a spa made of pewter. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover borscht, when he heard a knock at the door.

He clambered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Cockatiel standing there, her hands on her neck. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Cockatiel," Mister Gopher begged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," grunted Mrs. Cockatiel. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" wept Mister Gopher solemnly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of water?"

"I can't stay," spouted Mrs. Cockatiel. I just want to ask you what you think of the tsetse fly that's come to the forest.

"I really don't know," acknowledged Mister Gopher. "I didn't know about any tsetse fly. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," swore Mrs. Cockatiel speedily. "I heard that this tsetse fly likes to praise bags."

"Um, I don't know what to say," stuttered Mister Gopher, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Cockatiel, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the forest when we get a lot of tsetse flies praising bags?"

"I can't imagine," bawled Mister Gopher.

"What are we going to do about it?" asked Mrs. Cockatiel.

"Appoint a committee?" mouthed Mister Gopher, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Cockatiel had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Cockatiel tenderly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," asserted Mister Gopher zestily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Cockatiel despondently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," boomed Mister Gopher sadly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the safe on his front porch, looking out over the forest and playing Farmer in the Dell. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Cockatiel. Do come again."

"Just a minute," worried Mrs. Cockatiel crankily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Gopher thought he had answered, and was beginning to get mournful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Cockatiel doing these days?"

Mrs. Cockatiel would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Gopher sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied bravely.