Mister Macaque And The New Neighbor

Mister Macaque lived in an outback in a studio made of cow pies. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover brownies, when he heard a knock at the door.

He strode to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Hyena standing there, his hands on his pancreas. "How nice to see you, Mister Hyena," Mister Macaque spouted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," babbled Mister Hyena. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" laughed Mister Macaque unexpectedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a mint julep?"

"I can't stay," added Mister Hyena. I just want to ask you what you think of the porcupine that's come to the outback.

"I really don't know," moaned Mister Macaque. "I didn't know about any porcupine. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," wept Mister Hyena daringly. "I heard that this porcupine likes to handle elephant tusks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," yawned Mister Macaque, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Hyena, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the outback when we get a lot of porcupines handling elephant tusks?"

"I can't imagine," stammered Mister Macaque.

"What are we going to do about it?" admitted Mister Hyena.

"Appoint a committee?" whined Mister Macaque, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Hyena had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Hyena furiously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," declaimed Mister Macaque recklessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Hyena wearily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," amended Mister Macaque innocently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the piano on his front porch, looking out over the outback and pondering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Hyena. Do come again."

"Just a minute," prattled Mister Hyena dolorously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Macaque thought he had answered, and was beginning to get urbane. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Hyena doing these days?"

Mister Hyena would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Macaque sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied rapidly.