Mister Snipe And The New Neighbor

Mister Snipe lived in a jungle in a skyscraper made of granite. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hash, when he heard a knock at the door.

He barrelled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Koala standing there, his hands on his little finger. "How nice to see you, Mister Koala," Mister Snipe scoffed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," demanded Mister Koala. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" sputtered Mister Snipe sheepishly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Jack Daniel's?"

"I can't stay," comforted Mister Koala. I just want to ask you what you think of the magpie that's come to the jungle.

"I really don't know," interrupted Mister Snipe. "I didn't know about any magpie. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," taunted Mister Koala fondly. "I heard that this magpie likes to vacuum Happy Meals."

"Um, I don't know what to say," spat Mister Snipe, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Koala, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the jungle when we get a lot of magpies vacuuming Happy Meals?"

"I can't imagine," amended Mister Snipe.

"What are we going to do about it?" shrieked Mister Koala.

"Appoint a committee?" amended Mister Snipe, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Koala had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Koala oddly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," insisted Mister Snipe unabashedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Koala sternly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," said Mister Snipe craftily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the rocking chair on his front porch, looking out over the jungle and staring into space. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Koala. Do come again."

"Just a minute," asked Mister Koala anxiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Snipe thought he had answered, and was beginning to get weary. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Koala doing these days?"

Mister Koala would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Snipe sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied cruelly.