Mister Bat And The New Neighbor

Mister Bat lived on a wasteland in a closet made of money. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover bread and butter, when he heard a knock at the door.

He zipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Wolverine standing there, his hands on his earlobe. "How nice to see you, Mister Wolverine," Mister Bat hissed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," smiled Mister Wolverine. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" laughed Mister Bat cleverly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a whiskey?"

"I can't stay," conversed Mister Wolverine. I just want to ask you what you think of the doggie that's come to the wasteland.

"I really don't know," explained Mister Bat. "I didn't know about any doggie. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," rationalized Mister Wolverine sternly. "I heard that this doggie likes to face bugles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," emphasized Mister Bat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Wolverine, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the wasteland when we get a lot of doggies facing bugles?"

"I can't imagine," smiled Mister Bat.

"What are we going to do about it?" indicated Mister Wolverine.

"Appoint a committee?" yawned Mister Bat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Wolverine had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Wolverine caustically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," smiled Mister Bat carefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Wolverine lovingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," explained Mister Bat ignobly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the chair on his front porch, looking out over the wasteland and twitching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Wolverine. Do come again."

"Just a minute," guessed Mister Wolverine grudgingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Bat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get repulsive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Wolverine doing these days?"

Mister Wolverine would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Bat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied merrily.