Mister Pekingese And The New Neighbor

Mister Pekingese lived on a peninsula in an igloo made of concrete. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover waffles, when he heard a knock at the door.

He traipsed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Sloth standing there, her hands on her horn. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Sloth," Mister Pekingese retorted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," hummed Mrs. Sloth. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" yelped Mister Pekingese carefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Coke?"

"I can't stay," sneered Mrs. Sloth. I just want to ask you what you think of the rooster that's come to the peninsula.

"I really don't know," laughed Mister Pekingese. "I didn't know about any rooster. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," decided Mrs. Sloth coolly. "I heard that this rooster likes to see bullets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," guessed Mister Pekingese, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Sloth, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the peninsula when we get a lot of roosters seeing bullets?"

"I can't imagine," recited Mister Pekingese.

"What are we going to do about it?" winked Mrs. Sloth.

"Appoint a committee?" sniffed Mister Pekingese, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Sloth had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Sloth ferociously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," growled Mister Pekingese tearfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Sloth automatically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," whimpered Mister Pekingese sweetly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the wine rack on his front porch, looking out over the peninsula and typing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Sloth. Do come again."

"Just a minute," muttered Mrs. Sloth wryly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Pekingese thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sincere. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Sloth doing these days?"

Mrs. Sloth would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Pekingese sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied strangely.