Miss Badger And The New Neighbor

Miss Badger lived beside a river in a manor house made of leather. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover enchiladas, when she heard a knock at the door.

She tumbled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Tiger standing there, his hands on his toupee. "How nice to see you, Mister Tiger," Miss Badger griped, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sputtered Mister Tiger. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" drawled Miss Badger innocently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot buttered rum?"

"I can't stay," shuddered Mister Tiger. I just want to ask you what you think of the oyster that's come to the river.

"I really don't know," rationalized Miss Badger. "I didn't know about any oyster. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," bellowed Mister Tiger suspiciously. "I heard that this oyster likes to propel billiard balls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," whimpered Miss Badger, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Tiger, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the river when we get a lot of oysters propelling billiard balls?"

"I can't imagine," cackled Miss Badger.

"What are we going to do about it?" repeated Mister Tiger.

"Appoint a committee?" harangued Miss Badger, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Tiger had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Tiger recklessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," asserted Miss Badger haughtily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Tiger lickety-split. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," responded Miss Badger proudly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bunk bed on her front porch, looking out over the river and winking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Tiger. Do come again."

"Just a minute," hinted Mister Tiger madly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Badger thought she had answered, and was beginning to get anemic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Tiger doing these days?"

Mister Tiger would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Badger sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied defiantly.