Miss Goldfish And The New Neighbor

Miss Goldfish lived on a mesa in a wigwam made of corncobs. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover brownies, when she heard a knock at the door.

She barrelled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Robot standing there, her hands on her pancreas. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Robot," Miss Goldfish vouched, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," stuttered Mrs. Robot. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" ranted Miss Goldfish dreamily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gimlet?"

"I can't stay," squawked Mrs. Robot. I just want to ask you what you think of the buzzard that's come to the mesa.

"I really don't know," sobbed Miss Goldfish. "I didn't know about any buzzard. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," interrupted Mrs. Robot nimbly. "I heard that this buzzard likes to attack doilies."

"Um, I don't know what to say," quoted Miss Goldfish, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Robot, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mesa when we get a lot of buzzards attacking doilies?"

"I can't imagine," burbled Miss Goldfish.

"What are we going to do about it?" asked Mrs. Robot.

"Appoint a committee?" panted Miss Goldfish, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Robot had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Robot caustically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," jeered Miss Goldfish uneasily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Robot fearlessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," contended Miss Goldfish excitedly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the chest of drawers on her front porch, looking out over the mesa and jerking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Robot. Do come again."

"Just a minute," boasted Mrs. Robot lazily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Goldfish thought she had answered, and was beginning to get passionate. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Robot doing these days?"

Mrs. Robot would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Goldfish sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied boldly.