Mister Ghost And The New Neighbor

Mister Ghost lived on a prairie in a hotel made of ivory. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover burritos, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tore to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Walrus standing there, her hands on her tooth. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Walrus," Mister Ghost interpreted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," demanded Mrs. Walrus. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" stated Mister Ghost sharply, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a sassafras tea?"

"I can't stay," sniped Mrs. Walrus. I just want to ask you what you think of the leopard that's come to the prairie.

"I really don't know," orated Mister Ghost. "I didn't know about any leopard. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," rebutted Mrs. Walrus viciously. "I heard that this leopard likes to roast pillows."

"Um, I don't know what to say," pronounced Mister Ghost, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Walrus, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the prairie when we get a lot of leopards roasting pillows?"

"I can't imagine," murmured Mister Ghost.

"What are we going to do about it?" comforted Mrs. Walrus.

"Appoint a committee?" whined Mister Ghost, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Walrus had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Walrus neatly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," snorted Mister Ghost gingerly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Walrus grudgingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," blubbered Mister Ghost nimbly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the armoire on his front porch, looking out over the prairie and typing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Walrus. Do come again."

"Just a minute," conversed Mrs. Walrus gleefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ghost thought he had answered, and was beginning to get coy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Walrus doing these days?"

Mrs. Walrus would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ghost sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied haughtily.