Miss Doberman And The New Neighbor

Miss Doberman lived on a mountaintop in a wikiup made of moss. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hash, when she heard a knock at the door.

She stalked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Garter snake standing there, her hands on her shoulder. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Garter snake," Miss Doberman trumpeted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," worried Mrs. Garter snake. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" provoked Miss Doberman woodenly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of champagne?"

"I can't stay," uttered Mrs. Garter snake. I just want to ask you what you think of the pig that's come to the mountaintop.

"I really don't know," appealed Miss Doberman. "I didn't know about any pig. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," maintained Mrs. Garter snake boldly. "I heard that this pig likes to forget hubcaps."

"Um, I don't know what to say," vouched Miss Doberman, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Garter snake, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountaintop when we get a lot of pigs forgetting hubcaps?"

"I can't imagine," remarked Miss Doberman.

"What are we going to do about it?" hummed Mrs. Garter snake.

"Appoint a committee?" wailed Miss Doberman, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Garter snake had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Garter snake haughtily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," cried Miss Doberman firmly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Garter snake peevishly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," affirmed Miss Doberman happily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the rug on her front porch, looking out over the mountaintop and glowering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Garter snake. Do come again."

"Just a minute," burbled Mrs. Garter snake valiantly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Doberman thought she had answered, and was beginning to get amiable. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Garter snake doing these days?"

Mrs. Garter snake would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Doberman sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied narrowly.