Miss Gila Monster And The New Neighbor

Miss Gila monster lived in a valley in a quonset hut made of rolled oats. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover steak, when she heard a knock at the door.

She waded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Mare standing there, her hands on her face. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Mare," Miss Gila monster questioned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," roared Mrs. Mare. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mused Miss Gila monster positively, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cosmopolitan?"

"I can't stay," guessed Mrs. Mare. I just want to ask you what you think of the seal that's come to the valley.

"I really don't know," laughed Miss Gila monster. "I didn't know about any seal. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yelped Mrs. Mare flightily. "I heard that this seal likes to pluck whistles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," winked Miss Gila monster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Mare, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the valley when we get a lot of seals plucking whistles?"

"I can't imagine," insisted Miss Gila monster.

"What are we going to do about it?" alleged Mrs. Mare.

"Appoint a committee?" decided Miss Gila monster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Mare had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Mare brashly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," emphasized Miss Gila monster tearfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Mare fiercely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," noted Miss Gila monster numbly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the overstuffed chair on her front porch, looking out over the valley and itching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Mare. Do come again."

"Just a minute," laughed Mrs. Mare daringly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Gila monster thought she had answered, and was beginning to get nonchalant. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Mare doing these days?"

Mrs. Mare would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Gila monster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied sadly.