Miss Android And The New Neighbor

Miss Android lived in a cornfield in a teepee made of pipe. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mashed potatoes, when she heard a knock at the door.

She loped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Wolf standing there, his hands on his abdomen. "How nice to see you, Mister Wolf," Miss Android lamented, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," quavered Mister Wolf. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" indicated Miss Android awkwardly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of apricot juice?"

"I can't stay," growled Mister Wolf. I just want to ask you what you think of the garter snake that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," groveled Miss Android. "I didn't know about any garter snake. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," announced Mister Wolf surreptitiously. "I heard that this garter snake likes to gold plate sticks of gum."

"Um, I don't know what to say," squeaked Miss Android, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Wolf, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of garter snakes gold plating sticks of gum?"

"I can't imagine," blubbered Miss Android.

"What are we going to do about it?" winked Mister Wolf.

"Appoint a committee?" snarled Miss Android, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Wolf had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Wolf threateningly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," pointed out Miss Android tensely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Wolf coldly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," asserted Miss Android kindly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the chest of drawers on her front porch, looking out over the cornfield and huffing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Wolf. Do come again."

"Just a minute," stuttered Mister Wolf grimly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Android thought she had answered, and was beginning to get brassy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Wolf doing these days?"

Mister Wolf would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Android sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied effortlessly.