Miss Monster And The New Neighbor

Miss Monster lived in a buffalo wallow in a mud hut made of tempered steel. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover doughnuts, when she heard a knock at the door.

She lurched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Poodle standing there, her hands on her stomach. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Poodle," Miss Monster disputed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," groaned Mrs. Poodle. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" informed Miss Monster offhandedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Scotch and soda?"

"I can't stay," snarled Mrs. Poodle. I just want to ask you what you think of the horse that's come to the buffalo wallow.

"I really don't know," continued Miss Monster. "I didn't know about any horse. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," quoted Mrs. Poodle stupidly. "I heard that this horse likes to smell air compressors."

"Um, I don't know what to say," alleged Miss Monster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Poodle, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the buffalo wallow when we get a lot of horses smelling air compressors?"

"I can't imagine," groaned Miss Monster.

"What are we going to do about it?" judged Mrs. Poodle.

"Appoint a committee?" peeped Miss Monster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Poodle had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Poodle defiantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," suggested Miss Monster ferociously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Poodle resignedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sobbed Miss Monster threateningly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bathtub on her front porch, looking out over the buffalo wallow and going limp. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Poodle. Do come again."

"Just a minute," chuckled Mrs. Poodle calmly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Monster thought she had answered, and was beginning to get tense. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Poodle doing these days?"

Mrs. Poodle would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Monster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied needlessly.