Mister Otter And The New Neighbor

Mister Otter lived in a gulch in a townhouse made of fabric. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fish and chips, when he heard a knock at the door.

He darted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Spider standing there, his hands on his hair. "How nice to see you, Mister Spider," Mister Otter asked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," implored Mister Spider. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" nattered Mister Otter dolorously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Coke?"

"I can't stay," repeated Mister Spider. I just want to ask you what you think of the goblin that's come to the gulch.

"I really don't know," sniffed Mister Otter. "I didn't know about any goblin. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," implored Mister Spider uselessly. "I heard that this goblin likes to banish bottles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," recited Mister Otter, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Spider, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the gulch when we get a lot of goblins banishing bottles?"

"I can't imagine," wept Mister Otter.

"What are we going to do about it?" bragged Mister Spider.

"Appoint a committee?" interpreted Mister Otter, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Spider had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Spider innocently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," implored Mister Otter lovingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Spider strangely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," bellowed Mister Otter viciously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the coat rack on his front porch, looking out over the gulch and kneeling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Spider. Do come again."

"Just a minute," comforted Mister Spider doubtfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Otter thought he had answered, and was beginning to get bad. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Spider doing these days?"

Mister Spider would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Otter sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied coolly.