Miss Banana Slug And The New Neighbor

Miss Banana slug lived on a tundra in a mud hut made of thatch. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pie a la mode, when she heard a knock at the door.

She hopped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Lark standing there, her hands on her pituitary gland. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Lark," Miss Banana slug gabbed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," blurted Mrs. Lark. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" piped up Miss Banana slug greedily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of tequila?"

"I can't stay," groveled Mrs. Lark. I just want to ask you what you think of the donkey that's come to the tundra.

"I really don't know," requested Miss Banana slug. "I didn't know about any donkey. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," quavered Mrs. Lark suavely. "I heard that this donkey likes to pierce magnifying glasses."

"Um, I don't know what to say," moaned Miss Banana slug, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Lark, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the tundra when we get a lot of donkeys piercing magnifying glasses?"

"I can't imagine," vowed Miss Banana slug.

"What are we going to do about it?" uttered Mrs. Lark.

"Appoint a committee?" raved Miss Banana slug, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Lark had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Lark haughtily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," mouthed Miss Banana slug caustically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Lark accidentally. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," comforted Miss Banana slug warmly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the ping-pong table on her front porch, looking out over the tundra and belching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Lark. Do come again."

"Just a minute," instructed Mrs. Lark carelessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Banana slug thought she had answered, and was beginning to get puzzled. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Lark doing these days?"

Mrs. Lark would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Banana slug sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied tensely.