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Miss Lion And The New Neighbor


Miss Lion lived in a country meadow in a junk car made of linoleum. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fondue, when she heard a knock at the door.

She skipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.


She was surprised to see Mrs. Pigeon standing there, her hands on her skin. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Pigeon," Miss Lion piped up, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," panted Mrs. Pigeon. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" guessed Miss Lion queerly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Moscow mule?"

"I can't stay," noted Mrs. Pigeon. I just want to ask you what you think of the turtle that's come to the country meadow.


"I really don't know," boasted Miss Lion. "I didn't know about any turtle. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," queried Mrs. Pigeon sadly. "I heard that this turtle likes to measure tubes of glue."

"Um, I don't know what to say," whispered Miss Lion, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Pigeon, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the country meadow when we get a lot of turtles measureing tubes of glue?"

"I can't imagine," shrieked Miss Lion.

"What are we going to do about it?" belched Mrs. Pigeon.

"Appoint a committee?" chortled Miss Lion, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Pigeon had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Pigeon reluctantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," boasted Miss Lion later, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Pigeon suavely. "You always have such good ideas."

overstuffed chair

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," bragged Miss Lion numbly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the overstuffed chair on her front porch, looking out over the country meadow and wiggling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Pigeon. Do come again."

"Just a minute," vowed Mrs. Pigeon vigorously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Lion thought she had answered, and was beginning to get diabolical. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Pigeon doing these days?"

Mrs. Pigeon would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Lion sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied sarcastically.