Mister Mare And The New Neighbor

Mister Mare lived on a butte in a motel made of marble. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cinnamon toast, when he heard a knock at the door.

He jumped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Badger standing there, his hands on his aorta. "How nice to see you, Mister Badger," Mister Mare screamed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," asked Mister Badger. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" crooned Mister Mare properly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of cocoa?"

"I can't stay," intimated Mister Badger. I just want to ask you what you think of the iguana that's come to the butte.

"I really don't know," pleaded Mister Mare. "I didn't know about any iguana. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sniffed Mister Badger suspiciously. "I heard that this iguana likes to play with dog biscuits."

"Um, I don't know what to say," concluded Mister Mare, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Badger, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the butte when we get a lot of iguanas playing with dog biscuits?"

"I can't imagine," thought Mister Mare.

"What are we going to do about it?" announced Mister Badger.

"Appoint a committee?" laughed Mister Mare, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Badger had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Badger proudly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," proposed Mister Mare arrogantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Badger cleverly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," screeched Mister Mare numbly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the pedestal on his front porch, looking out over the butte and getting rigid. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Badger. Do come again."

"Just a minute," shouted Mister Badger coolly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Mare thought he had answered, and was beginning to get dependable. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Badger doing these days?"

Mister Badger would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Mare sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied hysterically.