Mister Raccoon And The New Neighbor

Mister Raccoon lived on a cliff in a penthouse made of tissue. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover tortillas, when he heard a knock at the door.

He reeled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Jackal standing there, her hands on her thorax. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Jackal," Mister Raccoon insisted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," fumed Mrs. Jackal. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" sputtered Mister Raccoon lovingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Shirley Temple?"

"I can't stay," cackled Mrs. Jackal. I just want to ask you what you think of the penguin that's come to the cliff.

"I really don't know," yelled Mister Raccoon. "I didn't know about any penguin. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," declaimed Mrs. Jackal cleverly. "I heard that this penguin likes to wipe compasses."

"Um, I don't know what to say," answered Mister Raccoon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Jackal, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cliff when we get a lot of penguins wiping compasses?"

"I can't imagine," breathed Mister Raccoon.

"What are we going to do about it?" fantasized Mrs. Jackal.

"Appoint a committee?" reacted Mister Raccoon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Jackal had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Jackal automatically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," blustered Mister Raccoon vacantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Jackal valiantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," intoned Mister Raccoon dreamily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the washstand on his front porch, looking out over the cliff and wobbling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Jackal. Do come again."

"Just a minute," explained Mrs. Jackal testily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Raccoon thought he had answered, and was beginning to get modest. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Jackal doing these days?"

Mrs. Jackal would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Raccoon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied furiously.