Mister Manticore And The New Neighbor

Mister Manticore lived on a ridge in a trailer made of garbage. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover shrimp, when he heard a knock at the door.

He ran to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Groundhog standing there, her hands on her intestine. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Groundhog," Mister Manticore debated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," boomed Mrs. Groundhog. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" recited Mister Manticore crazily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a latte?"

"I can't stay," reasoned Mrs. Groundhog. I just want to ask you what you think of the eel that's come to the ridge.

"I really don't know," belched Mister Manticore. "I didn't know about any eel. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," whined Mrs. Groundhog shyly. "I heard that this eel likes to wallop cardboard boxes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," spewed Mister Manticore, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Groundhog, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the ridge when we get a lot of eels walloping cardboard boxes?"

"I can't imagine," hummed Mister Manticore.

"What are we going to do about it?" winked Mrs. Groundhog.

"Appoint a committee?" snarled Mister Manticore, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Groundhog had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Groundhog shakily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," vouched Mister Manticore solemnly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Groundhog offhandedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," mentioned Mister Manticore wearily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the wine rack on his front porch, looking out over the ridge and wobbling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Groundhog. Do come again."

"Just a minute," vouched Mrs. Groundhog glibly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Manticore thought he had answered, and was beginning to get wary. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Groundhog doing these days?"

Mrs. Groundhog would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Manticore sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied suspiciously.