Mister Wolverine And The New Neighbor

Mister Wolverine lived in a cave in a farmhouse made of wattle and daub. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cornbread, when he heard a knock at the door.

He dove to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Duck-billed platypus standing there, her hands on her thigh. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Duck-billed platypus," Mister Wolverine spouted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," mused Mrs. Duck-billed platypus. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" analyzed Mister Wolverine truculently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bacardi?"

"I can't stay," lectured Mrs. Duck-billed platypus. I just want to ask you what you think of the boa constrictor that's come to the cave.

"I really don't know," chanted Mister Wolverine. "I didn't know about any boa constrictor. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," snorted Mrs. Duck-billed platypus oddly. "I heard that this boa constrictor likes to re-evaluate Barbie dolls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," wailed Mister Wolverine, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Duck-billed platypus, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cave when we get a lot of boa constrictors re-evaluating Barbie dolls?"

"I can't imagine," squawked Mister Wolverine.

"What are we going to do about it?" continued Mrs. Duck-billed platypus.

"Appoint a committee?" implored Mister Wolverine, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Duck-billed platypus had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Duck-billed platypus ingeniously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," guessed Mister Wolverine pitifully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Duck-billed platypus confidently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," added Mister Wolverine sharply, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the overstuffed chair on his front porch, looking out over the cave and barking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Duck-billed platypus. Do come again."

"Just a minute," quavered Mrs. Duck-billed platypus nervously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Wolverine thought he had answered, and was beginning to get ignoble. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Duck-billed platypus doing these days?"

Mrs. Duck-billed platypus would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Wolverine sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied dreamily.