Miss Dragon And The New Neighbor

Miss Dragon lived on a range in a cave made of mahogany. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prune pudding, when she heard a knock at the door.

She stormed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Chimpanzee standing there, her hands on her hand. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Chimpanzee," Miss Dragon squeaked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," spoke up Mrs. Chimpanzee. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" pronounced Miss Dragon lickety-split, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bloody Mary?"

"I can't stay," recited Mrs. Chimpanzee. I just want to ask you what you think of the aardvark that's come to the range.

"I really don't know," sputtered Miss Dragon. "I didn't know about any aardvark. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," belched Mrs. Chimpanzee cruelly. "I heard that this aardvark likes to attack African violets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," snorted Miss Dragon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Chimpanzee, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the range when we get a lot of aardvarks attacking African violets?"

"I can't imagine," smiled Miss Dragon.

"What are we going to do about it?" observed Mrs. Chimpanzee.

"Appoint a committee?" wept Miss Dragon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Chimpanzee had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Chimpanzee testily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," peeped Miss Dragon sadly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Chimpanzee impatiently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," hollered Miss Dragon arrogantly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the water bed on her front porch, looking out over the range and coughing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Chimpanzee. Do come again."

"Just a minute," avowed Mrs. Chimpanzee accidentally. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Dragon thought she had answered, and was beginning to get noble. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Chimpanzee doing these days?"

Mrs. Chimpanzee would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Dragon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied doubtfully.