Miss Goldfish And The New Neighbor

Miss Goldfish lived in a pasture in a resort made of oak. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast Cornish game hen, when she heard a knock at the door.

She galumphed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Dodo bird standing there, her hands on her palm. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Dodo bird," Miss Goldfish continued, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," gasped Mrs. Dodo bird. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" cackled Miss Goldfish sarcastically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," fumed Mrs. Dodo bird. I just want to ask you what you think of the elk that's come to the pasture.

"I really don't know," sobbed Miss Goldfish. "I didn't know about any elk. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yawned Mrs. Dodo bird angrily. "I heard that this elk likes to submerse china dolls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," grieved Miss Goldfish, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Dodo bird, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the pasture when we get a lot of elk submersing china dolls?"

"I can't imagine," asked Miss Goldfish.

"What are we going to do about it?" begged Mrs. Dodo bird.

"Appoint a committee?" enunciated Miss Goldfish, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Dodo bird had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Dodo bird arrogantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," whined Miss Goldfish roughly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Dodo bird shakily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," simpered Miss Goldfish vacantly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the counter on her front porch, looking out over the pasture and shriveling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Dodo bird. Do come again."

"Just a minute," wailed Mrs. Dodo bird frantically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Goldfish thought she had answered, and was beginning to get frantic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Dodo bird doing these days?"

Mrs. Dodo bird would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Goldfish sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied quickly.