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Miss Porcupine And The New Neighbor

Porcupine

Miss Porcupine lived in a cesspool in a manor house made of cow pies. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover duck a l'orange, when she heard a knock at the door.

She galloped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

Iguana

She was surprised to see Mrs. Iguana standing there, her hands on her lip. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Iguana," Miss Porcupine stormed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," worried Mrs. Iguana. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" pointed out Miss Porcupine briskly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of KoolAid?"

"I can't stay," bawled Mrs. Iguana. I just want to ask you what you think of the dragon that's come to the cesspool.

dragon

"I really don't know," burbled Miss Porcupine. "I didn't know about any dragon. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," mouthed Mrs. Iguana sharply. "I heard that this dragon likes to ignore whoopee cushions."

"Um, I don't know what to say," quoted Miss Porcupine, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Iguana, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cesspool when we get a lot of dragons ignoring whoopee cushions?"

"I can't imagine," giggled Miss Porcupine.

"What are we going to do about it?" shrieked Mrs. Iguana.

"Appoint a committee?" lectured Miss Porcupine, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Iguana had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Iguana irritably. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," boomed Miss Porcupine cruelly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Iguana briskly. "You always have such good ideas."

windowsill

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yelped Miss Porcupine cheerfully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the windowsill on her front porch, looking out over the cesspool and grumbling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Iguana. Do come again."

"Just a minute," vouched Mrs. Iguana needlessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Porcupine thought she had answered, and was beginning to get apoplectic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Iguana doing these days?"

Mrs. Iguana would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Porcupine sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied courteously.