Miss Warthog And The New Neighbor

Miss Warthog lived on a mountaintop in a cottage made of peanut shells. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cabbage, when she heard a knock at the door.

She rolled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Lion standing there, her hands on her adrenal gland. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Lion," Miss Warthog interpreted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," revealed Mrs. Lion. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" avowed Miss Warthog firmly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bloody Mary?"

"I can't stay," offered Mrs. Lion. I just want to ask you what you think of the walrus that's come to the mountaintop.

"I really don't know," stormed Miss Warthog. "I didn't know about any walrus. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," trumpeted Mrs. Lion repeatedly. "I heard that this walrus likes to load cotton balls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," cackled Miss Warthog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Lion, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountaintop when we get a lot of walruses loading cotton balls?"

"I can't imagine," sniveled Miss Warthog.

"What are we going to do about it?" bellowed Mrs. Lion.

"Appoint a committee?" orated Miss Warthog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Lion had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Lion tensely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," rambled Miss Warthog awkwardly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Lion deliberately. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," maintained Miss Warthog grudgingly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the armoire on her front porch, looking out over the mountaintop and calculating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Lion. Do come again."

"Just a minute," divulged Mrs. Lion happily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Warthog thought she had answered, and was beginning to get lively. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Lion doing these days?"

Mrs. Lion would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Warthog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied trustingly.