Mister Newt And The New Neighbor

Mister Newt lived in a lagoon in a tent made of denim. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover macaroni, when he heard a knock at the door.

He hopped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Pekingese standing there, her hands on her knuckle. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Pekingese," Mister Newt drawled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," shrieked Mrs. Pekingese. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" belched Mister Newt joyously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," opined Mrs. Pekingese. I just want to ask you what you think of the Pekingese that's come to the lagoon.

"I really don't know," squawked Mister Newt. "I didn't know about any Pekingese. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," gabbed Mrs. Pekingese peevishly. "I heard that this Pekingese likes to rebuild hammers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," yelled Mister Newt, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Pekingese, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lagoon when we get a lot of Pekingeses rebuilding hammers?"

"I can't imagine," affirmed Mister Newt.

"What are we going to do about it?" rebutted Mrs. Pekingese.

"Appoint a committee?" judged Mister Newt, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Pekingese had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Pekingese furiously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sniveled Mister Newt innocently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Pekingese nicely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," insisted Mister Newt coldly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the TV on his front porch, looking out over the lagoon and grunting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Pekingese. Do come again."

"Just a minute," orated Mrs. Pekingese languidly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Newt thought he had answered, and was beginning to get decent. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Pekingese doing these days?"

Mrs. Pekingese would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Newt sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied breathlessly.