Miss Chihuahua And The New Neighbor

Miss Chihuahua lived beside a river in a motel made of axle grease. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover strawberry shortcake, when she heard a knock at the door.

She barrelled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Hog standing there, his hands on his kneecap. "How nice to see you, Mister Hog," Miss Chihuahua trumpeted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sniffed Mister Hog. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" sniped Miss Chihuahua timidly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a piña colada?"

"I can't stay," spat Mister Hog. I just want to ask you what you think of the grasshopper that's come to the river.

"I really don't know," laughed Miss Chihuahua. "I didn't know about any grasshopper. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," instructed Mister Hog languidly. "I heard that this grasshopper likes to brush hockey pucks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," squeaked Miss Chihuahua, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Hog, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the river when we get a lot of grasshoppers brushing hockey pucks?"

"I can't imagine," quoted Miss Chihuahua.

"What are we going to do about it?" divulged Mister Hog.

"Appoint a committee?" prattled Miss Chihuahua, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Hog had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Hog queerly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," alleged Miss Chihuahua wearily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Hog resignedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sneered Miss Chihuahua threateningly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the dining table on her front porch, looking out over the river and sleeping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Hog. Do come again."

"Just a minute," growled Mister Hog sadly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Chihuahua thought she had answered, and was beginning to get cautious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Hog doing these days?"

Mister Hog would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Chihuahua sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied narrowly.