Mister Boa Constrictor And The New Neighbor

Mister Boa constrictor lived at a lakeside in a crypt made of tissue. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover dry toast, when he heard a knock at the door.

He traipsed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Macaque standing there, her hands on her claw. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Macaque," Mister Boa constrictor agreed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," interpreted Mrs. Macaque. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" declaimed Mister Boa constrictor rapidly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of Sanka?"

"I can't stay," purred Mrs. Macaque. I just want to ask you what you think of the buffalo that's come to the lakeside.

"I really don't know," crooned Mister Boa constrictor. "I didn't know about any buffalo. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," exclaimed Mrs. Macaque blindly. "I heard that this buffalo likes to decorate cans of shaving cream."

"Um, I don't know what to say," stammered Mister Boa constrictor, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Macaque, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lakeside when we get a lot of buffalo decorating cans of shaving cream?"

"I can't imagine," begged Mister Boa constrictor.

"What are we going to do about it?" debated Mrs. Macaque.

"Appoint a committee?" pointed out Mister Boa constrictor, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Macaque had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Macaque coldly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," revealed Mister Boa constrictor angrily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Macaque nonchalantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," exploded Mister Boa constrictor ferociously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the end table on his front porch, looking out over the lakeside and snoring. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Macaque. Do come again."

"Just a minute," blustered Mrs. Macaque confidently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Boa constrictor thought he had answered, and was beginning to get stylish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Macaque doing these days?"

Mrs. Macaque would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Boa constrictor sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied briskly.