Mister Grasshopper And The New Neighbor

Mister Grasshopper lived on a mountain in a chapel made of maple. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fried eggs, when he heard a knock at the door.

He inched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Panther standing there, his hands on his nostril. "How nice to see you, Mister Panther," Mister Grasshopper belched, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," hollered Mister Panther. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" interpreted Mister Grasshopper ruefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Cuba libre?"

"I can't stay," announced Mister Panther. I just want to ask you what you think of the elephant that's come to the mountain.

"I really don't know," commented Mister Grasshopper. "I didn't know about any elephant. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," wailed Mister Panther swiftly. "I heard that this elephant likes to roast primroses."

"Um, I don't know what to say," bawled Mister Grasshopper, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Panther, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountain when we get a lot of elephants roasting primroses?"

"I can't imagine," rumored Mister Grasshopper.

"What are we going to do about it?" opined Mister Panther.

"Appoint a committee?" drawled Mister Grasshopper, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Panther had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Panther ignobly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," boasted Mister Grasshopper rapidly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Panther perkily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," emphasized Mister Grasshopper hastily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the computer on his front porch, looking out over the mountain and playing solitaire. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Panther. Do come again."

"Just a minute," boomed Mister Panther tensely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Grasshopper thought he had answered, and was beginning to get solitary. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Panther doing these days?"

Mister Panther would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Grasshopper sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied nonchalantly.