Mister Gnu And The New Neighbor

Mister Gnu lived on a peninsula in a trough made of walnut. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hamburgers, when he heard a knock at the door.

He hobbled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Llama standing there, her hands on her vein. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Llama," Mister Gnu winked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," responded Mrs. Llama. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" squealed Mister Gnu glumly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a root beer float?"

"I can't stay," clarified Mrs. Llama. I just want to ask you what you think of the flamingo that's come to the peninsula.

"I really don't know," piped up Mister Gnu. "I didn't know about any flamingo. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," expressed Mrs. Llama daintily. "I heard that this flamingo likes to shoot bags of groceries."

"Um, I don't know what to say," announced Mister Gnu, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Llama, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the peninsula when we get a lot of flamingoes shooting bags of groceries?"

"I can't imagine," blathered Mister Gnu.

"What are we going to do about it?" affirmed Mrs. Llama.

"Appoint a committee?" implored Mister Gnu, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Llama had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Llama dreamily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," called Mister Gnu deftly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Llama admiringly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," mouthed Mister Gnu cunningly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the mattress on his front porch, looking out over the peninsula and throwing up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Llama. Do come again."

"Just a minute," explained Mrs. Llama ruefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Gnu thought he had answered, and was beginning to get masculine. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Llama doing these days?"

Mrs. Llama would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Gnu sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied victoriously.