Mister Groundhog And The New Neighbor

Mister Groundhog lived in a valley in a KOA Kampground made of yarn. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover biscuits and gravy, when he heard a knock at the door.

He walked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Squirrel standing there, her hands on her throat. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Squirrel," Mister Groundhog interrupted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," belched Mrs. Squirrel. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" railed Mister Groundhog offhandedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of tea?"

"I can't stay," sobbed Mrs. Squirrel. I just want to ask you what you think of the tropical fish that's come to the valley.

"I really don't know," shuddered Mister Groundhog. "I didn't know about any tropical fish. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," affirmed Mrs. Squirrel arrogantly. "I heard that this tropical fish likes to mutilate knitting needles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," belched Mister Groundhog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Squirrel, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the valley when we get a lot of tropical fish mutilating knitting needles?"

"I can't imagine," belched Mister Groundhog.

"What are we going to do about it?" trumpeted Mrs. Squirrel.

"Appoint a committee?" rambled Mister Groundhog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Squirrel had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Squirrel ignobly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," brought up Mister Groundhog ignobly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Squirrel bitterly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sobbed Mister Groundhog coldly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the chest of drawers on his front porch, looking out over the valley and whirling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Squirrel. Do come again."

"Just a minute," answered Mrs. Squirrel positively. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Groundhog thought he had answered, and was beginning to get miniscule. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Squirrel doing these days?"

Mrs. Squirrel would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Groundhog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied trustingly.