Miss Gerbil And The New Neighbor

Miss Gerbil lived in a swamp in a townhouse made of tempered glass. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover falafel, when she heard a knock at the door.

She made a beeline to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Hedgehog standing there, his hands on his hairdo. "How nice to see you, Mister Hedgehog," Miss Gerbil barked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," mused Mister Hedgehog. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" quoted Miss Gerbil valiantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mountain Dew?"

"I can't stay," comforted Mister Hedgehog. I just want to ask you what you think of the hermit crab that's come to the swamp.

"I really don't know," fantasized Miss Gerbil. "I didn't know about any hermit crab. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," whispered Mister Hedgehog confidently. "I heard that this hermit crab likes to break orchids."

"Um, I don't know what to say," yawned Miss Gerbil, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Hedgehog, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the swamp when we get a lot of hermit crabs breaking orchids?"

"I can't imagine," yawned Miss Gerbil.

"What are we going to do about it?" protested Mister Hedgehog.

"Appoint a committee?" begged Miss Gerbil, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Hedgehog had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Hedgehog ingeniously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sputtered Miss Gerbil sternly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Hedgehog brightly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," responded Miss Gerbil lovingly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the hamper on her front porch, looking out over the swamp and clearing out. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Hedgehog. Do come again."

"Just a minute," mouthed Mister Hedgehog tearfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Gerbil thought she had answered, and was beginning to get wily. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Hedgehog doing these days?"

Mister Hedgehog would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Gerbil sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied hysterically.