Mister German Shepherd And The New Neighbor

Mister German Shepherd lived on a range in a sod house made of lithium. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover omelet, when he heard a knock at the door.

He galloped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Monkey standing there, her hands on her ankle. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Monkey," Mister German Shepherd screamed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," scoffed Mrs. Monkey. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" belched Mister German Shepherd hopelessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an iced tea?"

"I can't stay," realized Mrs. Monkey. I just want to ask you what you think of the oyster that's come to the range.

"I really don't know," lectured Mister German Shepherd. "I didn't know about any oyster. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," acknowledged Mrs. Monkey again. "I heard that this oyster likes to chisel paper towels."

"Um, I don't know what to say," maintained Mister German Shepherd, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Monkey, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the range when we get a lot of oysters chiseling paper towels?"

"I can't imagine," maintained Mister German Shepherd.

"What are we going to do about it?" announced Mrs. Monkey.

"Appoint a committee?" trumpeted Mister German Shepherd, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Monkey had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Monkey oddly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," murmured Mister German Shepherd mysteriously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Monkey sternly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," squawked Mister German Shepherd jokingly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the wardrobe on his front porch, looking out over the range and coming over. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Monkey. Do come again."

"Just a minute," hummed Mrs. Monkey dubiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister German Shepherd thought he had answered, and was beginning to get disagreeable. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Monkey doing these days?"

Mrs. Monkey would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister German Shepherd sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied accidentally.