Mister Hermit Crab And The New Neighbor

Mister Hermit crab lived in a lagoon in a box made of beeswax. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover wienerschnitzel, when he heard a knock at the door.

He stormed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Tarantula standing there, his hands on his stomach. "How nice to see you, Mister Tarantula," Mister Hermit crab argued, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," blathered Mister Tarantula. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" peeped Mister Hermit crab unnaturally, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a latte?"

"I can't stay," professed Mister Tarantula. I just want to ask you what you think of the sasquatch that's come to the lagoon.

"I really don't know," insisted Mister Hermit crab. "I didn't know about any sasquatch. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," articulated Mister Tarantula defiantly. "I heard that this sasquatch likes to stabilize cell phones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," winked Mister Hermit crab, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Tarantula, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lagoon when we get a lot of sasquatches stabilizing cell phones?"

"I can't imagine," maintained Mister Hermit crab.

"What are we going to do about it?" scoffed Mister Tarantula.

"Appoint a committee?" hissed Mister Hermit crab, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Tarantula had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Tarantula gleefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," fumed Mister Hermit crab angrily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Tarantula woodenly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," comforted Mister Hermit crab sorrowfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the pedestal on his front porch, looking out over the lagoon and turning blue. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Tarantula. Do come again."

"Just a minute," babbled Mister Tarantula crossly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Hermit crab thought he had answered, and was beginning to get lazy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Tarantula doing these days?"

Mister Tarantula would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Hermit crab sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied delicately.