Miss Monster And The New Neighbor

Miss Monster lived on a moonscape in a spa made of candy. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover squash blossom soup, when she heard a knock at the door.

She barrelled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Pig standing there, her hands on her fingernail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Pig," Miss Monster phrased, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sneered Mrs. Pig. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" scoffed Miss Monster recklessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a margarita?"

"I can't stay," spewed Mrs. Pig. I just want to ask you what you think of the falcon that's come to the moonscape.

"I really don't know," asked Miss Monster. "I didn't know about any falcon. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," barked Mrs. Pig suspiciously. "I heard that this falcon likes to hide chairs."

"Um, I don't know what to say," boasted Miss Monster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Pig, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the moonscape when we get a lot of falcons hiding chairs?"

"I can't imagine," laughed Miss Monster.

"What are we going to do about it?" wept Mrs. Pig.

"Appoint a committee?" bragged Miss Monster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Pig had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Pig flightily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," rebutted Miss Monster zestily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Pig hopefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," griped Miss Monster deftly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the carpet on her front porch, looking out over the moonscape and going limp. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Pig. Do come again."

"Just a minute," argued Mrs. Pig strictly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Monster thought she had answered, and was beginning to get angry. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Pig doing these days?"

Mrs. Pig would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Monster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied angrily.