Mister Jackal And The New Neighbor

Mister Jackal lived on a beach in a closet made of nylon. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover borscht, when he heard a knock at the door.

He strode to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Porcupine standing there, her hands on her front tooth. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Porcupine," Mister Jackal affirmed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sobbed Mrs. Porcupine. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" debated Mister Jackal stealthily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Coke?"

"I can't stay," indicated Mrs. Porcupine. I just want to ask you what you think of the hamster that's come to the beach.

"I really don't know," yelped Mister Jackal. "I didn't know about any hamster. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," shouted Mrs. Porcupine numbly. "I heard that this hamster likes to measure spoons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," imitated Mister Jackal, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Porcupine, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the beach when we get a lot of hamsters measureing spoons?"

"I can't imagine," gabbed Mister Jackal.

"What are we going to do about it?" accused Mrs. Porcupine.

"Appoint a committee?" squealed Mister Jackal, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Porcupine had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Porcupine flightily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," whispered Mister Jackal sternly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Porcupine gently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," interrupted Mister Jackal frenetically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the credenza on his front porch, looking out over the beach and chewing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Porcupine. Do come again."

"Just a minute," intoned Mrs. Porcupine courageously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Jackal thought he had answered, and was beginning to get desperate. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Porcupine doing these days?"

Mrs. Porcupine would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Jackal sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied cheerfully.