Mister Alligator And The New Neighbor

Mister Alligator lived in a cornfield in a farmhouse made of plywood. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hash, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slid to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Mare standing there, his hands on his waist. "How nice to see you, Mister Mare," Mister Alligator said, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," declared Mister Mare. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" commented Mister Alligator arrogantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Alka-Seltzer?"

"I can't stay," quavered Mister Mare. I just want to ask you what you think of the parrot that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," swore Mister Alligator. "I didn't know about any parrot. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," continued Mister Mare menacingly. "I heard that this parrot likes to develop stopwatches."

"Um, I don't know what to say," noted Mister Alligator, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Mare, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of parrots developing stopwatches?"

"I can't imagine," decided Mister Alligator.

"What are we going to do about it?" rebutted Mister Mare.

"Appoint a committee?" divulged Mister Alligator, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Mare had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Mare cautiously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," trumpeted Mister Alligator hungrily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Mare slowly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," questioned Mister Alligator boisterously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the rocking chair on his front porch, looking out over the cornfield and glowering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Mare. Do come again."

"Just a minute," squawked Mister Mare silently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Alligator thought he had answered, and was beginning to get zany. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Mare doing these days?"

Mister Mare would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Alligator sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied tearfully.