Miss Raccoon And The New Neighbor

Miss Raccoon lived in a cornfield in a houseboat made of paper clips. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chocolate-covered ants, when she heard a knock at the door.

She barrelled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Peacock standing there, his hands on his tail. "How nice to see you, Mister Peacock," Miss Raccoon trumpeted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," wondered Mister Peacock. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" vouched Miss Raccoon numbly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mountain Dew?"

"I can't stay," yawned Mister Peacock. I just want to ask you what you think of the ant that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," grieved Miss Raccoon. "I didn't know about any ant. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," blathered Mister Peacock elatedly. "I heard that this ant likes to enshrine toilet plungers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," chattered Miss Raccoon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Peacock, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of ants enshrining toilet plungers?"

"I can't imagine," complained Miss Raccoon.

"What are we going to do about it?" giggled Mister Peacock.

"Appoint a committee?" sobbed Miss Raccoon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Peacock had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Peacock lightly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," announced Miss Raccoon vigorously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Peacock sheepishly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," reasoned Miss Raccoon neatly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the china hutch on her front porch, looking out over the cornfield and awakening. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Peacock. Do come again."

"Just a minute," snorted Mister Peacock pityingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Raccoon thought she had answered, and was beginning to get articulate. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Peacock doing these days?"

Mister Peacock would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Raccoon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied crankily.