Miss Panda And The New Neighbor

Miss Panda lived in a housing development in a retreat made of styrofoam. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cookies, when she heard a knock at the door.

She went to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Boa constrictor standing there, his hands on his neck. "How nice to see you, Mister Boa constrictor," Miss Panda babbled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," recited Mister Boa constrictor. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" fantasized Miss Panda unabashedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of champagne?"

"I can't stay," tittered Mister Boa constrictor. I just want to ask you what you think of the polecat that's come to the housing development.

"I really don't know," responded Miss Panda. "I didn't know about any polecat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," suggested Mister Boa constrictor suspiciously. "I heard that this polecat likes to unlock dollar bills."

"Um, I don't know what to say," murmured Miss Panda, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Boa constrictor, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the housing development when we get a lot of polecats unlocking dollar bills?"

"I can't imagine," worried Miss Panda.

"What are we going to do about it?" enunciated Mister Boa constrictor.

"Appoint a committee?" persisted Miss Panda, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Boa constrictor had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Boa constrictor resignedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," demanded Miss Panda slyly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Boa constrictor sleepily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," professed Miss Panda madly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the china hutch on her front porch, looking out over the housing development and squinting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Boa constrictor. Do come again."

"Just a minute," queried Mister Boa constrictor truculently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Panda thought she had answered, and was beginning to get young. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Boa constrictor doing these days?"

Mister Boa constrictor would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Panda sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied miserably.