Mister Quail And The New Neighbor

Mister Quail lived in a landfill in a travel trailer made of starch. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover oatmeal, when he heard a knock at the door.

He reeled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Dodo bird standing there, her hands on her gall bladder. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Dodo bird," Mister Quail exploded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," reasoned Mrs. Dodo bird. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" continued Mister Quail quietly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mudslide?"

"I can't stay," continued Mrs. Dodo bird. I just want to ask you what you think of the bandicoot that's come to the landfill.

"I really don't know," spoke up Mister Quail. "I didn't know about any bandicoot. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," bragged Mrs. Dodo bird timidly. "I heard that this bandicoot likes to condemn tissues."

"Um, I don't know what to say," mouthed Mister Quail, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Dodo bird, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the landfill when we get a lot of bandicoots condemning tissues?"

"I can't imagine," whispered Mister Quail.

"What are we going to do about it?" fantasized Mrs. Dodo bird.

"Appoint a committee?" agreed Mister Quail, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Dodo bird had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Dodo bird later. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," inquired Mister Quail swiftly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Dodo bird kindly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," divulged Mister Quail mysteriously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the four-poster bed on his front porch, looking out over the landfill and exhaling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Dodo bird. Do come again."

"Just a minute," vowed Mrs. Dodo bird dreamily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Quail thought he had answered, and was beginning to get apoplectic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Dodo bird doing these days?"

Mrs. Dodo bird would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Quail sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied rapidly.