Mister Tarantula And The New Neighbor

Mister Tarantula lived in a meadow in a motel made of antimatter. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover omelet, when he heard a knock at the door.

He cantered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Oyster standing there, his hands on his rib. "How nice to see you, Mister Oyster," Mister Tarantula chattered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," preached Mister Oyster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" suggested Mister Tarantula vacantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot chocolate?"

"I can't stay," admitted Mister Oyster. I just want to ask you what you think of the Pekingese that's come to the meadow.

"I really don't know," drawled Mister Tarantula. "I didn't know about any Pekingese. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," emphasized Mister Oyster gently. "I heard that this Pekingese likes to scrub stopwatches."

"Um, I don't know what to say," peeped Mister Tarantula, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Oyster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the meadow when we get a lot of Pekingeses scrubbing stopwatches?"

"I can't imagine," invited Mister Tarantula.

"What are we going to do about it?" ranted Mister Oyster.

"Appoint a committee?" snorted Mister Tarantula, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Oyster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Oyster defiantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," fumed Mister Tarantula suspiciously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Oyster quietly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," explained Mister Tarantula viciously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the card table on his front porch, looking out over the meadow and yawning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Oyster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," complained Mister Oyster timidly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Tarantula thought he had answered, and was beginning to get cruel. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Oyster doing these days?"

Mister Oyster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Tarantula sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied hysterically.