Miss Opossum And The New Neighbor

Miss Opossum lived alongside a stream in a Victorian mansion made of granite. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast Cornish game hen, when she heard a knock at the door.

She strode to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Hamster standing there, her hands on her earlobe. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Hamster," Miss Opossum began, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," rationalized Mrs. Hamster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" exclaimed Miss Opossum majestically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of Sanka?"

"I can't stay," pointed out Mrs. Hamster. I just want to ask you what you think of the chipmunk that's come to the stream.

"I really don't know," boomed Miss Opossum. "I didn't know about any chipmunk. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," swore Mrs. Hamster thoughtfully. "I heard that this chipmunk likes to hammer cameras."

"Um, I don't know what to say," phrased Miss Opossum, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Hamster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the stream when we get a lot of chipmunks hammering cameras?"

"I can't imagine," cackled Miss Opossum.

"What are we going to do about it?" mumbled Mrs. Hamster.

"Appoint a committee?" yelped Miss Opossum, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Hamster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Hamster blindly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," inquired Miss Opossum bitterly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Hamster kindly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," hissed Miss Opossum truculently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the hope chest on her front porch, looking out over the stream and doodling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Hamster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," fumed Mrs. Hamster defiantly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Opossum thought she had answered, and was beginning to get disgusting. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Hamster doing these days?"

Mrs. Hamster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Opossum sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied sweetly.