Miss Hawk And The New Neighbor

Miss Hawk lived on a mountainside in a log cabin made of rubble. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fried chicken, when she heard a knock at the door.

She scurried to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Garter snake standing there, his hands on his wig. "How nice to see you, Mister Garter snake," Miss Hawk cried, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," screeched Mister Garter snake. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" wept Miss Hawk sleepily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mudslide?"

"I can't stay," cackled Mister Garter snake. I just want to ask you what you think of the lynx that's come to the mountainside.

"I really don't know," bellowed Miss Hawk. "I didn't know about any lynx. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," alleged Mister Garter snake demurely. "I heard that this lynx likes to score Barbie dolls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," interpreted Miss Hawk, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Garter snake, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountainside when we get a lot of lynxes scoring Barbie dolls?"

"I can't imagine," tittered Miss Hawk.

"What are we going to do about it?" giggled Mister Garter snake.

"Appoint a committee?" swore Miss Hawk, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Garter snake had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Garter snake smoothly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," babbled Miss Hawk again, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Garter snake joyously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," howled Miss Hawk kindly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the armoire on her front porch, looking out over the mountainside and twitching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Garter snake. Do come again."

"Just a minute," asked Mister Garter snake fiercely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Hawk thought she had answered, and was beginning to get humble. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Garter snake doing these days?"

Mister Garter snake would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Hawk sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied coolly.