Mister Crocodile And The New Neighbor

Mister Crocodile lived on a trail in a brownstone made of starch. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast Cornish game hen, when he heard a knock at the door.

He waddled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Fawn standing there, his hands on his tooth. "How nice to see you, Mister Fawn," Mister Crocodile fretted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," wept Mister Fawn. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" affirmed Mister Crocodile arrogantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Brandy Alexander?"

"I can't stay," comforted Mister Fawn. I just want to ask you what you think of the ferret that's come to the trail.

"I really don't know," yammered Mister Crocodile. "I didn't know about any ferret. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," phrased Mister Fawn sourly. "I heard that this ferret likes to empty rubber chickens."

"Um, I don't know what to say," moaned Mister Crocodile, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Fawn, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the trail when we get a lot of ferrets emptying rubber chickens?"

"I can't imagine," asserted Mister Crocodile.

"What are we going to do about it?" mentioned Mister Fawn.

"Appoint a committee?" joked Mister Crocodile, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Fawn had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Fawn flightily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," orated Mister Crocodile coldly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Fawn dolorously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," disputed Mister Crocodile dolorously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the umbrella stand on his front porch, looking out over the trail and blanking out. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Fawn. Do come again."

"Just a minute," spouted Mister Fawn pityingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Crocodile thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sketchy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Fawn doing these days?"

Mister Fawn would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Crocodile sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied arrogantly.