Mister Beetle And The New Neighbor

Mister Beetle lived on a battlefield in a hotel made of lace. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast Cornish game hen, when he heard a knock at the door.

He skidded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Chihuahua standing there, her hands on her esophagus. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Chihuahua," Mister Beetle wept, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," declaimed Mrs. Chihuahua. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" offered Mister Beetle gingerly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mai Tai?"

"I can't stay," interpreted Mrs. Chihuahua. I just want to ask you what you think of the groundhog that's come to the battlefield.

"I really don't know," rationalized Mister Beetle. "I didn't know about any groundhog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," wondered Mrs. Chihuahua cheerfully. "I heard that this groundhog likes to scuff cookies."

"Um, I don't know what to say," called Mister Beetle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Chihuahua, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the battlefield when we get a lot of groundhogs scuffing cookies?"

"I can't imagine," boasted Mister Beetle.

"What are we going to do about it?" raved Mrs. Chihuahua.

"Appoint a committee?" informed Mister Beetle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Chihuahua had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Chihuahua uneasily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," blustered Mister Beetle smoothly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Chihuahua tensely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," pointed out Mister Beetle dolorously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the desk on his front porch, looking out over the battlefield and nodding. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Chihuahua. Do come again."

"Just a minute," insisted Mrs. Chihuahua daintily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Beetle thought he had answered, and was beginning to get garrulous. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Chihuahua doing these days?"

Mrs. Chihuahua would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Beetle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied dubiously.