Mister Iguana And The New Neighbor

Mister Iguana lived on a hill in a cabin made of leather. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover applesauce, when he heard a knock at the door.

He loped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Yak standing there, her hands on her aorta. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Yak," Mister Iguana proposed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," agreed Mrs. Yak. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" wept Mister Iguana steadily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of hot cider?"

"I can't stay," phrased Mrs. Yak. I just want to ask you what you think of the crow that's come to the hill.

"I really don't know," informed Mister Iguana. "I didn't know about any crow. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," articulated Mrs. Yak shakily. "I heard that this crow likes to sand barbells."

"Um, I don't know what to say," quoted Mister Iguana, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Yak, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hill when we get a lot of crows sanding barbells?"

"I can't imagine," snorted Mister Iguana.

"What are we going to do about it?" suggested Mrs. Yak.

"Appoint a committee?" spat Mister Iguana, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Yak had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Yak tenderly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," shuddered Mister Iguana deliberately, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Yak languidly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," growled Mister Iguana uselessly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the four-poster bed on his front porch, looking out over the hill and flushing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Yak. Do come again."

"Just a minute," appealed Mrs. Yak temperamentally. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Iguana thought he had answered, and was beginning to get elderly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Yak doing these days?"

Mrs. Yak would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Iguana sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied slowly.