Mister Android And The New Neighbor

Mister Android lived in a meadow in an igloo made of old bottles. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pancakes, when he heard a knock at the door.

He inched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Cougar standing there, his hands on his intestine. "How nice to see you, Mister Cougar," Mister Android observed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," whispered Mister Cougar. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" intimated Mister Android defiantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of apricot juice?"

"I can't stay," roared Mister Cougar. I just want to ask you what you think of the kitty that's come to the meadow.

"I really don't know," queried Mister Android. "I didn't know about any kitty. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chattered Mister Cougar cruelly. "I heard that this kitty likes to slap Van Goghs."

"Um, I don't know what to say," chortled Mister Android, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cougar, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the meadow when we get a lot of kitties slapping Van Goghs?"

"I can't imagine," commented Mister Android.

"What are we going to do about it?" jeered Mister Cougar.

"Appoint a committee?" raved Mister Android, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cougar had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cougar flightily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," croaked Mister Android carefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cougar carefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," added Mister Android sympathetically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the hatstand on his front porch, looking out over the meadow and taking a bath. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cougar. Do come again."

"Just a minute," acknowledged Mister Cougar clumsily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Android thought he had answered, and was beginning to get brilliant. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cougar doing these days?"

Mister Cougar would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Android sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied slyly.