Mister Hornet And The New Neighbor

Mister Hornet lived in a neighborhood in a boxcar made of masonry. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover catfish stew, when he heard a knock at the door.

He swaggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Chameleon standing there, her hands on her beard. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Chameleon," Mister Hornet articulated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," blurted Mrs. Chameleon. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" warbled Mister Hornet lamely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin sour?"

"I can't stay," suggested Mrs. Chameleon. I just want to ask you what you think of the panther that's come to the neighborhood.

"I really don't know," blubbered Mister Hornet. "I didn't know about any panther. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," complained Mrs. Chameleon wearily. "I heard that this panther likes to banish oranges."

"Um, I don't know what to say," fantasized Mister Hornet, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Chameleon, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the neighborhood when we get a lot of panthers banishing oranges?"

"I can't imagine," phrased Mister Hornet.

"What are we going to do about it?" yammered Mrs. Chameleon.

"Appoint a committee?" crooned Mister Hornet, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Chameleon had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Chameleon joyously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," blathered Mister Hornet flightily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Chameleon hastily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," pointed out Mister Hornet temperamentally, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the four-poster bed on his front porch, looking out over the neighborhood and swearing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Chameleon. Do come again."

"Just a minute," yammered Mrs. Chameleon frenetically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Hornet thought he had answered, and was beginning to get prickly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Chameleon doing these days?"

Mrs. Chameleon would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Hornet sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied frantically.