Miss Rhinoceros And The New Neighbor

Miss Rhinoceros lived in a neighborhood in a park bench made of chalk. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when she heard a knock at the door.

She scooted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Elephant standing there, his hands on his rib. "How nice to see you, Mister Elephant," Miss Rhinoceros guessed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," divulged Mister Elephant. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" vowed Miss Rhinoceros dolefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot buttered rum?"

"I can't stay," inquired Mister Elephant. I just want to ask you what you think of the iguana that's come to the neighborhood.

"I really don't know," whispered Miss Rhinoceros. "I didn't know about any iguana. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," cajoled Mister Elephant truculently. "I heard that this iguana likes to strike roses."

"Um, I don't know what to say," roared Miss Rhinoceros, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Elephant, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the neighborhood when we get a lot of iguanas striking roses?"

"I can't imagine," called Miss Rhinoceros.

"What are we going to do about it?" complained Mister Elephant.

"Appoint a committee?" amended Miss Rhinoceros, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Elephant had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Elephant innocently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," whispered Miss Rhinoceros tenderly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Elephant threateningly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," laughed Miss Rhinoceros rapidly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bookcase on her front porch, looking out over the neighborhood and catching up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Elephant. Do come again."

"Just a minute," harangued Mister Elephant pityingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Rhinoceros thought she had answered, and was beginning to get rude. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Elephant doing these days?"

Mister Elephant would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Rhinoceros sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied crankily.