Miss Porcupine And The New Neighbor

Miss Porcupine lived at a dump in a cardboard box made of platinum. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover country glazed ham, when she heard a knock at the door.

She lumbered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Mare standing there, his hands on his shoulder. "How nice to see you, Mister Mare," Miss Porcupine revealed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," ranted Mister Mare. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" belched Miss Porcupine fondly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a grape soda?"

"I can't stay," chanted Mister Mare. I just want to ask you what you think of the rattlesnake that's come to the dump.

"I really don't know," answered Miss Porcupine. "I didn't know about any rattlesnake. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," acknowledged Mister Mare woefully. "I heard that this rattlesnake likes to lynch vases."

"Um, I don't know what to say," purred Miss Porcupine, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Mare, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dump when we get a lot of rattlesnakes lynching vases?"

"I can't imagine," added Miss Porcupine.

"What are we going to do about it?" reacted Mister Mare.

"Appoint a committee?" babbled Miss Porcupine, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Mare had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Mare merrily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," chortled Miss Porcupine brightly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Mare immediately. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," declaimed Miss Porcupine suspiciously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the wardrobe on her front porch, looking out over the dump and staring into space. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Mare. Do come again."

"Just a minute," sniped Mister Mare gruffly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Porcupine thought she had answered, and was beginning to get miniscule. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Mare doing these days?"

Mister Mare would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Porcupine sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied positively.