Miss Rat And The New Neighbor

Miss Rat lived in a swamp in a brownstone made of candy. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cinnamon toast, when she heard a knock at the door.

She walked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Cat standing there, his hands on his jaw. "How nice to see you, Mister Cat," Miss Rat jeered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," purred Mister Cat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" insisted Miss Rat impatiently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bacardi?"

"I can't stay," warbled Mister Cat. I just want to ask you what you think of the tarantula that's come to the swamp.

"I really don't know," realized Miss Rat. "I didn't know about any tarantula. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," interrupted Mister Cat woodenly. "I heard that this tarantula likes to hurl cookies."

"Um, I don't know what to say," begged Miss Rat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the swamp when we get a lot of tarantulas hurling cookies?"

"I can't imagine," moaned Miss Rat.

"What are we going to do about it?" fantasized Mister Cat.

"Appoint a committee?" pleaded Miss Rat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cat diligently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," stammered Miss Rat menacingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cat properly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," whined Miss Rat quickly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the mattress on her front porch, looking out over the swamp and hiding. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," sniveled Mister Cat miserably. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Rat thought she had answered, and was beginning to get corpulent. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cat doing these days?"

Mister Cat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Rat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied brightly.