Mister Android And The New Neighbor

Mister Android lived on a steppe in a mobile home made of wicker. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover shrimp, when he heard a knock at the door.

He bolted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Unicorn standing there, her hands on her ear. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Unicorn," Mister Android requested, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," remarked Mrs. Unicorn. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" commented Mister Android unabashedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mojito?"

"I can't stay," stormed Mrs. Unicorn. I just want to ask you what you think of the ring-tailed lemur that's come to the steppe.

"I really don't know," complained Mister Android. "I didn't know about any ring-tailed lemur. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," jeered Mrs. Unicorn rapidly. "I heard that this ring-tailed lemur likes to hoist teddy bears."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sniped Mister Android, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Unicorn, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the steppe when we get a lot of ring-tailed lemurs hoisting teddy bears?"

"I can't imagine," yammered Mister Android.

"What are we going to do about it?" demanded Mrs. Unicorn.

"Appoint a committee?" shouted Mister Android, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Unicorn had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Unicorn sagely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," disputed Mister Android demurely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Unicorn happily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," blubbered Mister Android unabashedly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bar stool on his front porch, looking out over the steppe and lying around in bed. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Unicorn. Do come again."

"Just a minute," declared Mrs. Unicorn boldly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Android thought he had answered, and was beginning to get lively. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Unicorn doing these days?"

Mrs. Unicorn would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Android sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied coolly.