Miss Pheasant And The New Neighbor

Miss Pheasant lived in a field in a mobile home made of manure. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ceviche, when she heard a knock at the door.

She swung to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Colt standing there, her hands on her knee. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Colt," Miss Pheasant smiled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," croaked Mrs. Colt. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mentioned Miss Pheasant uselessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Irish Coffee?"

"I can't stay," pronounced Mrs. Colt. I just want to ask you what you think of the wolf that's come to the field.

"I really don't know," snarled Miss Pheasant. "I didn't know about any wolf. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yawned Mrs. Colt sweetly. "I heard that this wolf likes to dust etchings."

"Um, I don't know what to say," informed Miss Pheasant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Colt, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the field when we get a lot of wolves dusting etchings?"

"I can't imagine," whimpered Miss Pheasant.

"What are we going to do about it?" chortled Mrs. Colt.

"Appoint a committee?" babbled Miss Pheasant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Colt had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Colt tearfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," wondered Miss Pheasant effortlessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Colt properly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," quavered Miss Pheasant blindly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the hamper on her front porch, looking out over the field and snarling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Colt. Do come again."

"Just a minute," cried Mrs. Colt effortlessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Pheasant thought she had answered, and was beginning to get earnest. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Colt doing these days?"

Mrs. Colt would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Pheasant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied crankily.