Miss Spider And The New Neighbor

Miss Spider lived in a backyard in a houseboat made of peanut butter. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover steak, when she heard a knock at the door.

She lurched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Worm standing there, his hands on his bicep. "How nice to see you, Mister Worm," Miss Spider blurted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," accused Mister Worm. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" hummed Miss Spider frantically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of iced tea?"

"I can't stay," asserted Mister Worm. I just want to ask you what you think of the bumblebee that's come to the backyard.

"I really don't know," agreed Miss Spider. "I didn't know about any bumblebee. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sniveled Mister Worm ruefully. "I heard that this bumblebee likes to liquify yardsticks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," noted Miss Spider, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Worm, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the backyard when we get a lot of bumblebees liquifying yardsticks?"

"I can't imagine," mused Miss Spider.

"What are we going to do about it?" stated Mister Worm.

"Appoint a committee?" said Miss Spider, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Worm had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Worm gently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," commented Miss Spider warmly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Worm threateningly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," hissed Miss Spider repeatedly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the ironing board on her front porch, looking out over the backyard and jerking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Worm. Do come again."

"Just a minute," whined Mister Worm grimly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Spider thought she had answered, and was beginning to get cocky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Worm doing these days?"

Mister Worm would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Spider sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied temperamentally.