Mister Dachshund And The New Neighbor

Mister Dachshund lived on a plateau in a travel trailer made of polyester. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover banana split, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Seal standing there, her hands on her eye. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Seal," Mister Dachshund chimed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," peeped Mrs. Seal. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" breathed Mister Dachshund ingeniously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bloody Mary?"

"I can't stay," mouthed Mrs. Seal. I just want to ask you what you think of the seal that's come to the plateau.

"I really don't know," croaked Mister Dachshund. "I didn't know about any seal. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," giggled Mrs. Seal crossly. "I heard that this seal likes to analyze duffel bags."

"Um, I don't know what to say," prattled Mister Dachshund, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Seal, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plateau when we get a lot of seals analyzing duffel bags?"

"I can't imagine," lectured Mister Dachshund.

"What are we going to do about it?" phrased Mrs. Seal.

"Appoint a committee?" squeaked Mister Dachshund, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Seal had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Seal grandly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," opined Mister Dachshund speedily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Seal violently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," babbled Mister Dachshund lazily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the dresser on his front porch, looking out over the plateau and catching up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Seal. Do come again."

"Just a minute," agreed Mrs. Seal briskly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Dachshund thought he had answered, and was beginning to get awkward. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Seal doing these days?"

Mrs. Seal would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Dachshund sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied zestily.