Miss Unicorn And The New Neighbor

Miss Unicorn lived on a seacoast in a penthouse made of sewage. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chocolate-covered ants, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sallied forth to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Banana slug standing there, his hands on his scalp. "How nice to see you, Mister Banana slug," Miss Unicorn observed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," decided Mister Banana slug. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" shrieked Miss Unicorn diligently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of Sanka?"

"I can't stay," noted Mister Banana slug. I just want to ask you what you think of the pelican that's come to the seacoast.

"I really don't know," spouted Miss Unicorn. "I didn't know about any pelican. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," mentioned Mister Banana slug nervously. "I heard that this pelican likes to puncture coat check tickets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," winked Miss Unicorn, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Banana slug, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the seacoast when we get a lot of pelicans puncturing coat check tickets?"

"I can't imagine," vouched Miss Unicorn.

"What are we going to do about it?" emphasized Mister Banana slug.

"Appoint a committee?" crooned Miss Unicorn, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Banana slug had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Banana slug irritably. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," griped Miss Unicorn warily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Banana slug grandly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," declared Miss Unicorn quietly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the washstand on her front porch, looking out over the seacoast and swallowing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Banana slug. Do come again."

"Just a minute," tittered Mister Banana slug craftily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Unicorn thought she had answered, and was beginning to get megalomaniacal. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Banana slug doing these days?"

Mister Banana slug would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Unicorn sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied peevishly.