Miss Raccoon And The New Neighbor

Miss Raccoon lived in a cornfield in a duplex made of drywall. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover sauerkraut, when she heard a knock at the door.

She slipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Dormouse standing there, her hands on her little finger. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Dormouse," Miss Raccoon squeaked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," professed Mrs. Dormouse. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" spewed Miss Raccoon fiercely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," remarked Mrs. Dormouse. I just want to ask you what you think of the duck that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," hummed Miss Raccoon. "I didn't know about any duck. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," winked Mrs. Dormouse gingerly. "I heard that this duck likes to vacuum pinwheels."

"Um, I don't know what to say," stammered Miss Raccoon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Dormouse, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of ducks vacuuming pinwheels?"

"I can't imagine," uttered Miss Raccoon.

"What are we going to do about it?" muttered Mrs. Dormouse.

"Appoint a committee?" divulged Miss Raccoon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Dormouse had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Dormouse clumsily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," indicated Miss Raccoon cautiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Dormouse merrily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sniveled Miss Raccoon haughtily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the crib on her front porch, looking out over the cornfield and hiccuping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Dormouse. Do come again."

"Just a minute," harangued Mrs. Dormouse cunningly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Raccoon thought she had answered, and was beginning to get timid. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Dormouse doing these days?"

Mrs. Dormouse would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Raccoon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied urgently.