Miss Finch And The New Neighbor

Miss Finch lived on a cliff in a geodesic dome made of sheet metal. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover jambalaya, when she heard a knock at the door.

She tore to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Boar standing there, her hands on her lip. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Boar," Miss Finch suggested, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," rambled Mrs. Boar. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" stormed Miss Finch perkily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bacardi?"

"I can't stay," growled Mrs. Boar. I just want to ask you what you think of the penguin that's come to the cliff.

"I really don't know," persisted Miss Finch. "I didn't know about any penguin. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," accused Mrs. Boar quickly. "I heard that this penguin likes to submerse pails."

"Um, I don't know what to say," blubbered Miss Finch, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Boar, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cliff when we get a lot of penguins submersing pails?"

"I can't imagine," sighed Miss Finch.

"What are we going to do about it?" joked Mrs. Boar.

"Appoint a committee?" stuttered Miss Finch, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Boar had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Boar sharply. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," gabbed Miss Finch quickly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Boar suavely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," opined Miss Finch recklessly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bathtub on her front porch, looking out over the cliff and dying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Boar. Do come again."

"Just a minute," began Mrs. Boar lamely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Finch thought she had answered, and was beginning to get adorable. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Boar doing these days?"

Mrs. Boar would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Finch sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied temperamentally.