Mister Goblin And The New Neighbor

Mister Goblin lived in a forest in a crypt made of glass. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ceviche, when he heard a knock at the door.

He lurched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Opossum standing there, her hands on her forehead. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Opossum," Mister Goblin urged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sniveled Mrs. Opossum. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" imitated Mister Goblin humbly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of whiskey?"

"I can't stay," harangued Mrs. Opossum. I just want to ask you what you think of the parakeet that's come to the forest.

"I really don't know," repeated Mister Goblin. "I didn't know about any parakeet. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," joked Mrs. Opossum busily. "I heard that this parakeet likes to return playing cards."

"Um, I don't know what to say," hinted Mister Goblin, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Opossum, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the forest when we get a lot of parakeets returning playing cards?"

"I can't imagine," snarled Mister Goblin.

"What are we going to do about it?" peeped Mrs. Opossum.

"Appoint a committee?" called Mister Goblin, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Opossum had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Opossum gratefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," bawled Mister Goblin suddenly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Opossum sarcastically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," said Mister Goblin lovingly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the settee on his front porch, looking out over the forest and jerking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Opossum. Do come again."

"Just a minute," agreed Mrs. Opossum bravely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Goblin thought he had answered, and was beginning to get shiftless. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Opossum doing these days?"

Mrs. Opossum would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Goblin sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied cruelly.