Mister Turtle And The New Neighbor

Mister Turtle lived in a marsh in a boxcar made of styrofoam. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover dry toast, when he heard a knock at the door.

He crawled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Mare standing there, his hands on his big toe. "How nice to see you, Mister Mare," Mister Turtle bragged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," whimpered Mister Mare. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" purred Mister Turtle tearfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a tonic?"

"I can't stay," peeped Mister Mare. I just want to ask you what you think of the raccoon that's come to the marsh.

"I really don't know," rambled Mister Turtle. "I didn't know about any raccoon. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," simpered Mister Mare menacingly. "I heard that this raccoon likes to pierce stones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," vouched Mister Turtle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Mare, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the marsh when we get a lot of raccoons piercing stones?"

"I can't imagine," murmured Mister Turtle.

"What are we going to do about it?" yowled Mister Mare.

"Appoint a committee?" warbled Mister Turtle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Mare had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Mare doubtfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," orated Mister Turtle dolefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Mare again. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," maintained Mister Turtle temperamentally, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the footstool on his front porch, looking out over the marsh and sitting still. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Mare. Do come again."

"Just a minute," proposed Mister Mare dolorously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Turtle thought he had answered, and was beginning to get wicked. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Mare doing these days?"

Mister Mare would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Turtle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied hungrily.