Miss Lovebird And The New Neighbor

Miss Lovebird lived in a bog in a wigwam made of tempered steel. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover strawberry shortcake, when she heard a knock at the door.

She struggled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Oyster standing there, her hands on her hairdo. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Oyster," Miss Lovebird declared, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," shrieked Mrs. Oyster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" piped up Miss Lovebird thankfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of espresso?"

"I can't stay," revealed Mrs. Oyster. I just want to ask you what you think of the fawn that's come to the bog.

"I really don't know," accused Miss Lovebird. "I didn't know about any fawn. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," intoned Mrs. Oyster nonchalantly. "I heard that this fawn likes to understand notepads."

"Um, I don't know what to say," acknowledged Miss Lovebird, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Oyster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the bog when we get a lot of fawns understanding notepads?"

"I can't imagine," began Miss Lovebird.

"What are we going to do about it?" croaked Mrs. Oyster.

"Appoint a committee?" pleaded Miss Lovebird, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Oyster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Oyster suavely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," rationalized Miss Lovebird zestily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Oyster timidly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," conversed Miss Lovebird mysteriously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the sofa on her front porch, looking out over the bog and screeching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Oyster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," vouched Mrs. Oyster tenderly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Lovebird thought she had answered, and was beginning to get maniacal. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Oyster doing these days?"

Mrs. Oyster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Lovebird sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied humbly.