Mister Tsetse Fly And The New Neighbor

Mister Tsetse fly lived at a crime scene in a hut made of rolled oats. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ham, when he heard a knock at the door.

He strode to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Leopard standing there, her hands on her head. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Leopard," Mister Tsetse fly blustered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," swore Mrs. Leopard. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" recited Mister Tsetse fly haughtily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of carrot juice?"

"I can't stay," revealed Mrs. Leopard. I just want to ask you what you think of the lemur that's come to the crime scene.

"I really don't know," giggled Mister Tsetse fly. "I didn't know about any lemur. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," explained Mrs. Leopard lamely. "I heard that this lemur likes to reconsider batons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," provoked Mister Tsetse fly, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Leopard, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the crime scene when we get a lot of lemurs reconsidering batons?"

"I can't imagine," bragged Mister Tsetse fly.

"What are we going to do about it?" breathed Mrs. Leopard.

"Appoint a committee?" mumbled Mister Tsetse fly, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Leopard had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Leopard lazily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spoke up Mister Tsetse fly merrily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Leopard ferociously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," chattered Mister Tsetse fly immediately, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the toilet on his front porch, looking out over the crime scene and belching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Leopard. Do come again."

"Just a minute," articulated Mrs. Leopard fervently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Tsetse fly thought he had answered, and was beginning to get loving. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Leopard doing these days?"

Mrs. Leopard would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Tsetse fly sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied wryly.