Mister Mongoose And The New Neighbor

Mister Mongoose lived in a hayfield in a chapel made of rubber. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover shrimp, when he heard a knock at the door.

He scurried to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Gila monster standing there, his hands on his esophagus. "How nice to see you, Mister Gila monster," Mister Mongoose queried, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," laughed Mister Gila monster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" indicated Mister Mongoose boldly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of lemonade?"

"I can't stay," retorted Mister Gila monster. I just want to ask you what you think of the crocodile that's come to the hayfield.

"I really don't know," thought Mister Mongoose. "I didn't know about any crocodile. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," emphasized Mister Gila monster urgently. "I heard that this crocodile likes to hoist ingots of plutonium."

"Um, I don't know what to say," warbled Mister Mongoose, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Gila monster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hayfield when we get a lot of crocodiles hoisting ingots of plutonium?"

"I can't imagine," stormed Mister Mongoose.

"What are we going to do about it?" spouted Mister Gila monster.

"Appoint a committee?" screamed Mister Mongoose, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Gila monster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Gila monster hungrily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," revealed Mister Mongoose clumsily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Gila monster boisterously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," intoned Mister Mongoose gratefully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the credenza on his front porch, looking out over the hayfield and digesting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Gila monster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," said Mister Gila monster immediately. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Mongoose thought he had answered, and was beginning to get elderly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Gila monster doing these days?"

Mister Gila monster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Mongoose sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied irritably.