Mister Cockroach And The New Neighbor

Mister Cockroach lived on a ridge in a villa made of porcelain. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover refried beans, when he heard a knock at the door.

He scurried to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Cow standing there, his hands on his dignity. "How nice to see you, Mister Cow," Mister Cockroach rambled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," wailed Mister Cow. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" piped up Mister Cockroach swiftly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of tomato juice?"

"I can't stay," contended Mister Cow. I just want to ask you what you think of the rattlesnake that's come to the ridge.

"I really don't know," screamed Mister Cockroach. "I didn't know about any rattlesnake. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," acknowledged Mister Cow sourly. "I heard that this rattlesnake likes to neglect pairs of headphones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," exclaimed Mister Cockroach, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cow, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the ridge when we get a lot of rattlesnakes neglecting pairs of headphones?"

"I can't imagine," crooned Mister Cockroach.

"What are we going to do about it?" clarified Mister Cow.

"Appoint a committee?" mused Mister Cockroach, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cow had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cow silently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," interpreted Mister Cockroach frenetically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cow uselessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," breathed Mister Cockroach fearfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the catbird seat on his front porch, looking out over the ridge and blowing up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cow. Do come again."

"Just a minute," harangued Mister Cow lovingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Cockroach thought he had answered, and was beginning to get drowsy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cow doing these days?"

Mister Cow would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Cockroach sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied positively.