Mister Colt And The New Neighbor

Mister Colt lived in a field in a manor house made of grass. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover applesauce, when he heard a knock at the door.

He lumbered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Salamander standing there, her hands on her hip. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Salamander," Mister Colt inquired, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," suggested Mrs. Salamander. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" hollered Mister Colt unnaturally, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an old fashioned?"

"I can't stay," roared Mrs. Salamander. I just want to ask you what you think of the lobster that's come to the field.

"I really don't know," urged Mister Colt. "I didn't know about any lobster. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," hissed Mrs. Salamander energetically. "I heard that this lobster likes to catch pieces of paper."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sniffed Mister Colt, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Salamander, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the field when we get a lot of lobsters catching pieces of paper?"

"I can't imagine," snarled Mister Colt.

"What are we going to do about it?" orated Mrs. Salamander.

"Appoint a committee?" articulated Mister Colt, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Salamander had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Salamander brightly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," bragged Mister Colt woefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Salamander sharply. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," squawked Mister Colt mysteriously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cushion on his front porch, looking out over the field and collapsing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Salamander. Do come again."

"Just a minute," declaimed Mrs. Salamander ignobly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Colt thought he had answered, and was beginning to get apoplectic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Salamander doing these days?"

Mrs. Salamander would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Colt sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied suavely.