Mister Elk And The New Neighbor

Mister Elk lived in a forest in a house made of wax. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover egg rolls, when he heard a knock at the door.

He jumped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Magpie standing there, his hands on his funny bone. "How nice to see you, Mister Magpie," Mister Elk prattled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," boomed Mister Magpie. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" screamed Mister Elk admiringly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of KoolAid?"

"I can't stay," gasped Mister Magpie. I just want to ask you what you think of the gopher that's come to the forest.

"I really don't know," chattered Mister Elk. "I didn't know about any gopher. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," said Mister Magpie sorrowfully. "I heard that this gopher likes to mark tubes of toothpaste."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sniped Mister Elk, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Magpie, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the forest when we get a lot of gophers marking tubes of toothpaste?"

"I can't imagine," realized Mister Elk.

"What are we going to do about it?" gabbed Mister Magpie.

"Appoint a committee?" sniped Mister Elk, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Magpie had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Magpie gingerly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spouted Mister Elk daintily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Magpie confidently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," analyzed Mister Elk sourly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the buffet on his front porch, looking out over the forest and chanting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Magpie. Do come again."

"Just a minute," pointed out Mister Magpie despondently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Elk thought he had answered, and was beginning to get phlegmatic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Magpie doing these days?"

Mister Magpie would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Elk sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sweetly.