Mister Unicorn And The New Neighbor

Mister Unicorn lived in a park in a duplex made of Portland cement. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ceviche, when he heard a knock at the door.

He staggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Manatee standing there, her hands on her buttocks. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Manatee," Mister Unicorn invited, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," murmured Mrs. Manatee. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" added Mister Unicorn zestily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a double latte?"

"I can't stay," hummed Mrs. Manatee. I just want to ask you what you think of the bat that's come to the park.

"I really don't know," phrased Mister Unicorn. "I didn't know about any bat. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," groaned Mrs. Manatee courteously. "I heard that this bat likes to kiss coat hangers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," declared Mister Unicorn, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Manatee, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the park when we get a lot of bats kissing coat hangers?"

"I can't imagine," fantasized Mister Unicorn.

"What are we going to do about it?" divulged Mrs. Manatee.

"Appoint a committee?" emphasized Mister Unicorn, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Manatee had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Manatee glibly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," fretted Mister Unicorn gracefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Manatee haughtily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," admitted Mister Unicorn suddenly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the piano on his front porch, looking out over the park and coming along. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Manatee. Do come again."

"Just a minute," inquired Mrs. Manatee tensely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Unicorn thought he had answered, and was beginning to get rugged. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Manatee doing these days?"

Mrs. Manatee would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Unicorn sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied numbly.