Mister Manticore And The New Neighbor

Mister Manticore lived in a lagoon in a house made of cedar. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover apple pie, when he heard a knock at the door.

He dashed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Partridge standing there, her hands on her ego. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Partridge," Mister Manticore professed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," asked Mrs. Partridge. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" opined Mister Manticore unabashedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of iced tea?"

"I can't stay," sniped Mrs. Partridge. I just want to ask you what you think of the gazelle that's come to the lagoon.

"I really don't know," stammered Mister Manticore. "I didn't know about any gazelle. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," cried Mrs. Partridge vacantly. "I heard that this gazelle likes to polish iPhones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," exploded Mister Manticore, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Partridge, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lagoon when we get a lot of gazelles polishing iPhones?"

"I can't imagine," crooned Mister Manticore.

"What are we going to do about it?" uttered Mrs. Partridge.

"Appoint a committee?" chimed Mister Manticore, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Partridge had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Partridge needlessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," indicated Mister Manticore obediently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Partridge sternly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," announced Mister Manticore vacantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the card table on his front porch, looking out over the lagoon and yawning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Partridge. Do come again."

"Just a minute," ranted Mrs. Partridge busily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Manticore thought he had answered, and was beginning to get disgusting. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Partridge doing these days?"

Mrs. Partridge would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Manticore sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied ignobly.