Miss Crocodile And The New Neighbor

Miss Crocodile lived in a cave in a quonset hut made of manure. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when she heard a knock at the door.

She stalked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Raven standing there, her hands on her knuckle. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Raven," Miss Crocodile smiled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," intimated Mrs. Raven. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mumbled Miss Crocodile unnaturally, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a root beer float?"

"I can't stay," preached Mrs. Raven. I just want to ask you what you think of the cockroach that's come to the cave.

"I really don't know," breathed Miss Crocodile. "I didn't know about any cockroach. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," screamed Mrs. Raven urgently. "I heard that this cockroach likes to pinch forks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," bragged Miss Crocodile, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Raven, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cave when we get a lot of cockroaches pinching forks?"

"I can't imagine," jeered Miss Crocodile.

"What are we going to do about it?" divulged Mrs. Raven.

"Appoint a committee?" retorted Miss Crocodile, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Raven had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Raven doubtfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," scoffed Miss Crocodile charmingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Raven joyously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," smirked Miss Crocodile fondly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the coffee table on her front porch, looking out over the cave and calming down. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Raven. Do come again."

"Just a minute," insisted Mrs. Raven arrogantly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Crocodile thought she had answered, and was beginning to get moronic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Raven doing these days?"

Mrs. Raven would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Crocodile sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied nervously.