Mister Ghost And The New Neighbor

Mister Ghost lived in a garden in a convent made of hemp. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover refried beans, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slumped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Fawn standing there, her hands on her waist. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Fawn," Mister Ghost whimpered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," revealed Mrs. Fawn. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" revealed Mister Ghost flightily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a bottle of rum?"

"I can't stay," snarled Mrs. Fawn. I just want to ask you what you think of the wombat that's come to the garden.

"I really don't know," sighed Mister Ghost. "I didn't know about any wombat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," blubbered Mrs. Fawn stupidly. "I heard that this wombat likes to nuke peanuts."

"Um, I don't know what to say," lamented Mister Ghost, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Fawn, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the garden when we get a lot of wombats nuking peanuts?"

"I can't imagine," exclaimed Mister Ghost.

"What are we going to do about it?" voiced Mrs. Fawn.

"Appoint a committee?" admitted Mister Ghost, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Fawn had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Fawn tensely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," piped up Mister Ghost thoughtfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Fawn vigorously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," lectured Mister Ghost warmly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the recliner on his front porch, looking out over the garden and begging. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Fawn. Do come again."

"Just a minute," phrased Mrs. Fawn brightly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ghost thought he had answered, and was beginning to get ungainly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Fawn doing these days?"

Mrs. Fawn would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ghost sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied crossly.