Mister Chimpanzee And The New Neighbor

Mister Chimpanzee lived in a briar patch in a spa made of foam rubber. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover scrambled eggs, when he heard a knock at the door.

He zoomed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Donkey standing there, her hands on her hairdo. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Donkey," Mister Chimpanzee amended, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," squealed Mrs. Donkey. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" stormed Mister Chimpanzee lovingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of champagne?"

"I can't stay," stated Mrs. Donkey. I just want to ask you what you think of the mink that's come to the briar patch.

"I really don't know," yawned Mister Chimpanzee. "I didn't know about any mink. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," phrased Mrs. Donkey dubiously. "I heard that this mink likes to hook tubes of toothpaste."

"Um, I don't know what to say," observed Mister Chimpanzee, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Donkey, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the briar patch when we get a lot of minks hooking tubes of toothpaste?"

"I can't imagine," emphasized Mister Chimpanzee.

"What are we going to do about it?" articulated Mrs. Donkey.

"Appoint a committee?" realized Mister Chimpanzee, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Donkey had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Donkey blindly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," trumpeted Mister Chimpanzee shyly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Donkey again. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sobbed Mister Chimpanzee solemnly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the footstool on his front porch, looking out over the briar patch and inhaling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Donkey. Do come again."

"Just a minute," boasted Mrs. Donkey coldly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Chimpanzee thought he had answered, and was beginning to get serious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Donkey doing these days?"

Mrs. Donkey would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Chimpanzee sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied boisterously.