Mister Pelican And The New Neighbor

Mister Pelican lived in a circus tent in a trough made of Kevlar. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover dry toast, when he heard a knock at the door.

He bounded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Pheasant standing there, his hands on his heel. "How nice to see you, Mister Pheasant," Mister Pelican intoned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," chortled Mister Pheasant. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" hummed Mister Pelican valiantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," boasted Mister Pheasant. I just want to ask you what you think of the musk-ox that's come to the circus tent.

"I really don't know," argued Mister Pelican. "I didn't know about any musk-ox. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," joked Mister Pheasant carefully. "I heard that this musk-ox likes to lynch whoopee cushions."

"Um, I don't know what to say," boomed Mister Pelican, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Pheasant, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the circus tent when we get a lot of musk-oxen lynching whoopee cushions?"

"I can't imagine," purred Mister Pelican.

"What are we going to do about it?" growled Mister Pheasant.

"Appoint a committee?" snarled Mister Pelican, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Pheasant had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Pheasant quickly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," mouthed Mister Pelican again, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Pheasant blissfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," mumbled Mister Pelican defiantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the stairway on his front porch, looking out over the circus tent and staring into space. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Pheasant. Do come again."

"Just a minute," fumed Mister Pheasant victoriously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Pelican thought he had answered, and was beginning to get charming. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Pheasant doing these days?"

Mister Pheasant would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Pelican sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied happily.