Mister Chimpanzee And The New Neighbor

Mister Chimpanzee lived on a plain in a motel made of buffalo hides. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover wienerschnitzel, when he heard a knock at the door.

He skipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Fox standing there, her hands on her kneecap. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Fox," Mister Chimpanzee groaned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," babbled Mrs. Fox. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" sniped Mister Chimpanzee strangely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of carrot juice?"

"I can't stay," cajoled Mrs. Fox. I just want to ask you what you think of the hedgehog that's come to the plain.

"I really don't know," spouted Mister Chimpanzee. "I didn't know about any hedgehog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," emphasized Mrs. Fox perkily. "I heard that this hedgehog likes to bathe telephone books."

"Um, I don't know what to say," whined Mister Chimpanzee, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Fox, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plain when we get a lot of hedgehogs bathing telephone books?"

"I can't imagine," comforted Mister Chimpanzee.

"What are we going to do about it?" rebutted Mrs. Fox.

"Appoint a committee?" lectured Mister Chimpanzee, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Fox had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Fox diligently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," exclaimed Mister Chimpanzee fervently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Fox noisily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," quavered Mister Chimpanzee gratefully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the washstand on his front porch, looking out over the plain and inhaling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Fox. Do come again."

"Just a minute," scoffed Mrs. Fox boisterously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Chimpanzee thought he had answered, and was beginning to get cheerful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Fox doing these days?"

Mrs. Fox would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Chimpanzee sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied blissfully.