Mister Pigeon And The New Neighbor

Mister Pigeon lived in a hayfield in a chateau made of walnut. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lasagna, when he heard a knock at the door.

He jogged to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Peacock standing there, her hands on her adrenal gland. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Peacock," Mister Pigeon smiled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," suggested Mrs. Peacock. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" peeped Mister Pigeon patiently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin and tonic?"

"I can't stay," laughed Mrs. Peacock. I just want to ask you what you think of the lark that's come to the hayfield.

"I really don't know," bellowed Mister Pigeon. "I didn't know about any lark. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," groveled Mrs. Peacock humbly. "I heard that this lark likes to kill pacifiers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," acknowledged Mister Pigeon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Peacock, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hayfield when we get a lot of larks killing pacifiers?"

"I can't imagine," expressed Mister Pigeon.

"What are we going to do about it?" shouted Mrs. Peacock.

"Appoint a committee?" explained Mister Pigeon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Peacock had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Peacock cleverly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," called Mister Pigeon furiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Peacock sweetly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," simpered Mister Pigeon viciously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the armoire on his front porch, looking out over the hayfield and passing out. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Peacock. Do come again."

"Just a minute," rambled Mrs. Peacock warmly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Pigeon thought he had answered, and was beginning to get funny. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Peacock doing these days?"

Mrs. Peacock would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Pigeon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied kindly.