Mister Chimpanzee And The New Neighbor

Mister Chimpanzee lived on a hill in a house made of stainless steel. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover squash blossom soup, when he heard a knock at the door.

He ran to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Airedale standing there, his hands on his pituitary gland. "How nice to see you, Mister Airedale," Mister Chimpanzee stated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," insisted Mister Airedale. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" murmured Mister Chimpanzee urgently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a kamikaze?"

"I can't stay," proposed Mister Airedale. I just want to ask you what you think of the oyster that's come to the hill.

"I really don't know," blathered Mister Chimpanzee. "I didn't know about any oyster. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," purred Mister Airedale rapidly. "I heard that this oyster likes to measure toolboxes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," persisted Mister Chimpanzee, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Airedale, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hill when we get a lot of oysters measureing toolboxes?"

"I can't imagine," hissed Mister Chimpanzee.

"What are we going to do about it?" yammered Mister Airedale.

"Appoint a committee?" intimated Mister Chimpanzee, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Airedale had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Airedale recklessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spoke up Mister Chimpanzee mysteriously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Airedale steadily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," wept Mister Chimpanzee cleverly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cupboard on his front porch, looking out over the hill and wincing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Airedale. Do come again."

"Just a minute," mentioned Mister Airedale nimbly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Chimpanzee thought he had answered, and was beginning to get fashionable. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Airedale doing these days?"

Mister Airedale would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Chimpanzee sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied surreptitiously.