Miss Grasshopper And The New Neighbor

Miss Grasshopper lived in a cornfield in a junk car made of money. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover squash blossom soup, when she heard a knock at the door.

She bounded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Horsie standing there, his hands on his Adam's apple. "How nice to see you, Mister Horsie," Miss Grasshopper repeated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sneered Mister Horsie. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" guessed Miss Grasshopper carefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a tonic?"

"I can't stay," opined Mister Horsie. I just want to ask you what you think of the troll that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," belched Miss Grasshopper. "I didn't know about any troll. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," amended Mister Horsie carefully. "I heard that this troll likes to slash clams."

"Um, I don't know what to say," enunciated Miss Grasshopper, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Horsie, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of trolls slashing clams?"

"I can't imagine," gabbed Miss Grasshopper.

"What are we going to do about it?" emphasized Mister Horsie.

"Appoint a committee?" wept Miss Grasshopper, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Horsie had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Horsie reluctantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," moaned Miss Grasshopper caustically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Horsie haughtily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," guessed Miss Grasshopper violently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the workbench on her front porch, looking out over the cornfield and blushing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Horsie. Do come again."

"Just a minute," appealed Mister Horsie truculently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Grasshopper thought she had answered, and was beginning to get phlegmatic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Horsie doing these days?"

Mister Horsie would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Grasshopper sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied courteously.