Mister Chimpanzee And The New Neighbor

Mister Chimpanzee lived on a seacoast in an igloo made of cookie dough. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover macaroni, when he heard a knock at the door.

He staggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Parrot standing there, his hands on his tongue. "How nice to see you, Mister Parrot," Mister Chimpanzee wept, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," repeated Mister Parrot. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" revealed Mister Chimpanzee properly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin sour?"

"I can't stay," intoned Mister Parrot. I just want to ask you what you think of the porcupine that's come to the seacoast.

"I really don't know," cajoled Mister Chimpanzee. "I didn't know about any porcupine. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sobbed Mister Parrot energetically. "I heard that this porcupine likes to honor crackers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," vouched Mister Chimpanzee, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Parrot, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the seacoast when we get a lot of porcupines honoring crackers?"

"I can't imagine," babbled Mister Chimpanzee.

"What are we going to do about it?" asked Mister Parrot.

"Appoint a committee?" announced Mister Chimpanzee, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Parrot had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Parrot violently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," chattered Mister Chimpanzee crankily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Parrot menacingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," intoned Mister Chimpanzee impatiently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the buffet on his front porch, looking out over the seacoast and kneeling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Parrot. Do come again."

"Just a minute," winked Mister Parrot sagely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Chimpanzee thought he had answered, and was beginning to get gargantuan. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Parrot doing these days?"

Mister Parrot would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Chimpanzee sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied gingerly.