Mister Polecat And The New Neighbor

Mister Polecat lived on a mountaintop in a Victorian mansion made of tin. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover tuna casserole, when he heard a knock at the door.

He crawled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Partridge standing there, her hands on her midriff. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Partridge," Mister Polecat giggled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," shrieked Mrs. Partridge. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" shouted Mister Polecat languidly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of papaya juice?"

"I can't stay," reacted Mrs. Partridge. I just want to ask you what you think of the ghost that's come to the mountaintop.

"I really don't know," lamented Mister Polecat. "I didn't know about any ghost. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," explained Mrs. Partridge languidly. "I heard that this ghost likes to praise bags of popcorn."

"Um, I don't know what to say," agreed Mister Polecat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Partridge, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountaintop when we get a lot of ghosts praising bags of popcorn?"

"I can't imagine," shouted Mister Polecat.

"What are we going to do about it?" avowed Mrs. Partridge.

"Appoint a committee?" informed Mister Polecat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Partridge had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Partridge doubtfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," chortled Mister Polecat pitifully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Partridge uneasily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yelped Mister Polecat unabashedly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the armoire on his front porch, looking out over the mountaintop and swooning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Partridge. Do come again."

"Just a minute," conversed Mrs. Partridge quickly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Polecat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get frightened. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Partridge doing these days?"

Mrs. Partridge would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Polecat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied primly.