Miss Wombat And The New Neighbor

Miss Wombat lived on a hill in a condominium made of cement. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lime sherbet, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sashayed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Pig standing there, his hands on his thumb. "How nice to see you, Mister Pig," Miss Wombat blathered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sighed Mister Pig. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" groveled Miss Wombat hysterically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a whiskey sour?"

"I can't stay," shuddered Mister Pig. I just want to ask you what you think of the lark that's come to the hill.

"I really don't know," barked Miss Wombat. "I didn't know about any lark. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," comforted Mister Pig diligently. "I heard that this lark likes to overlook shoes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," begged Miss Wombat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Pig, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hill when we get a lot of larks overlooking shoes?"

"I can't imagine," worried Miss Wombat.

"What are we going to do about it?" roared Mister Pig.

"Appoint a committee?" phrased Miss Wombat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Pig had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Pig testily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," acknowledged Miss Wombat suddenly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Pig tearfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," roared Miss Wombat sourly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the TV on her front porch, looking out over the hill and scratching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Pig. Do come again."

"Just a minute," worried Mister Pig haughtily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Wombat thought she had answered, and was beginning to get cowardly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Pig doing these days?"

Mister Pig would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Wombat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied cruelly.