Mister Tapeworm And The New Neighbor

Mister Tapeworm lived in a treetop in a house made of hay. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover beans, when he heard a knock at the door.

He skipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Toad standing there, his hands on his hairdo. "How nice to see you, Mister Toad," Mister Tapeworm debated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," accused Mister Toad. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" yelled Mister Tapeworm breathlessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin fizz?"

"I can't stay," groaned Mister Toad. I just want to ask you what you think of the raven that's come to the treetop.

"I really don't know," retorted Mister Tapeworm. "I didn't know about any raven. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," squeaked Mister Toad numbly. "I heard that this raven likes to whack flags."

"Um, I don't know what to say," groaned Mister Tapeworm, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Toad, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the treetop when we get a lot of ravens whacking flags?"

"I can't imagine," quoted Mister Tapeworm.

"What are we going to do about it?" admitted Mister Toad.

"Appoint a committee?" vowed Mister Tapeworm, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Toad had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Toad furiously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," protested Mister Tapeworm furiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Toad gingerly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," declaimed Mister Tapeworm humbly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the hamper on his front porch, looking out over the treetop and dying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Toad. Do come again."

"Just a minute," snarled Mister Toad excitedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Tapeworm thought he had answered, and was beginning to get considerate. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Toad doing these days?"

Mister Toad would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Tapeworm sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied slyly.