Miss Goldfish And The New Neighbor

Miss Goldfish lived in a countryside in a park bench made of aluminum. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cabbage, when she heard a knock at the door.

She bounced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Snipe standing there, her hands on her tongue. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Snipe," Miss Goldfish begged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," intoned Mrs. Snipe. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" rebutted Miss Goldfish ruefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Manhattan?"

"I can't stay," proposed Mrs. Snipe. I just want to ask you what you think of the parrot that's come to the countryside.

"I really don't know," rationalized Miss Goldfish. "I didn't know about any parrot. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," fretted Mrs. Snipe pitifully. "I heard that this parrot likes to smell whistles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," insisted Miss Goldfish, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Snipe, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the countryside when we get a lot of parrots smelling whistles?"

"I can't imagine," grieved Miss Goldfish.

"What are we going to do about it?" muttered Mrs. Snipe.

"Appoint a committee?" pointed out Miss Goldfish, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Snipe had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Snipe warily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," comforted Miss Goldfish sternly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Snipe ignobly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," avowed Miss Goldfish primly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the desk on her front porch, looking out over the countryside and apologizing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Snipe. Do come again."

"Just a minute," disputed Mrs. Snipe resignedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Goldfish thought she had answered, and was beginning to get attractive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Snipe doing these days?"

Mrs. Snipe would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Goldfish sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied blissfully.