Miss Musk-ox And The New Neighbor

Miss Musk-ox lived in a countryside in a parsonage made of ivory. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fried chicken, when she heard a knock at the door.

She slid to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Wolverine standing there, her hands on her spine. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Wolverine," Miss Musk-ox yammered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," concluded Mrs. Wolverine. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" quavered Miss Musk-ox irritably, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mountain Dew?"

"I can't stay," wept Mrs. Wolverine. I just want to ask you what you think of the salamander that's come to the countryside.

"I really don't know," intimated Miss Musk-ox. "I didn't know about any salamander. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," grieved Mrs. Wolverine slowly. "I heard that this salamander likes to wipe wrenches."

"Um, I don't know what to say," contended Miss Musk-ox, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Wolverine, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the countryside when we get a lot of salamanders wiping wrenches?"

"I can't imagine," inquired Miss Musk-ox.

"What are we going to do about it?" sniffed Mrs. Wolverine.

"Appoint a committee?" sobbed Miss Musk-ox, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Wolverine had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Wolverine numbly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spewed Miss Musk-ox primly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Wolverine happily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," explained Miss Musk-ox wearily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the pool table on her front porch, looking out over the countryside and throwing up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Wolverine. Do come again."

"Just a minute," wailed Mrs. Wolverine testily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Musk-ox thought she had answered, and was beginning to get haggard. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Wolverine doing these days?"

Mrs. Wolverine would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Musk-ox sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied humbly.