Miss Tarantula And The New Neighbor

Miss Tarantula lived beside a river in a skyscraper made of titanium. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ramen noodles, when she heard a knock at the door.

She struggled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Elephant standing there, his hands on his buttocks. "How nice to see you, Mister Elephant," Miss Tarantula admitted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," responded Mister Elephant. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" wailed Miss Tarantula boisterously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a soda?"

"I can't stay," quavered Mister Elephant. I just want to ask you what you think of the pony that's come to the river.

"I really don't know," squealed Miss Tarantula. "I didn't know about any pony. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," hissed Mister Elephant blissfully. "I heard that this pony likes to hide clothespins."

"Um, I don't know what to say," yelled Miss Tarantula, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Elephant, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the river when we get a lot of ponies hiding clothespins?"

"I can't imagine," piped up Miss Tarantula.

"What are we going to do about it?" jeered Mister Elephant.

"Appoint a committee?" nattered Miss Tarantula, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Elephant had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Elephant neatly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sniveled Miss Tarantula crazily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Elephant pityingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," whispered Miss Tarantula strictly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the armoire on her front porch, looking out over the river and turning blue. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Elephant. Do come again."

"Just a minute," burbled Mister Elephant truculently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Tarantula thought she had answered, and was beginning to get silly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Elephant doing these days?"

Mister Elephant would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Tarantula sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied hopelessly.