Mister Beetle And The New Neighbor

Mister Beetle lived on a veld in a homeless shelter made of hemp. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover tortillas, when he heard a knock at the door.

He darted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Guinea pig standing there, her hands on her aorta. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Guinea pig," Mister Beetle snarled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," divulged Mrs. Guinea pig. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" lamented Mister Beetle sagely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of KoolAid?"

"I can't stay," said Mrs. Guinea pig. I just want to ask you what you think of the mosquito that's come to the veld.

"I really don't know," realized Mister Beetle. "I didn't know about any mosquito. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," quoted Mrs. Guinea pig surreptitiously. "I heard that this mosquito likes to admire bags of popcorn."

"Um, I don't know what to say," lamented Mister Beetle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Guinea pig, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the veld when we get a lot of mosquitoes admiring bags of popcorn?"

"I can't imagine," lectured Mister Beetle.

"What are we going to do about it?" joked Mrs. Guinea pig.

"Appoint a committee?" interpreted Mister Beetle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Guinea pig had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Guinea pig nicely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," chattered Mister Beetle cunningly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Guinea pig coolly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," commented Mister Beetle positively, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the computer on his front porch, looking out over the veld and chortling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Guinea pig. Do come again."

"Just a minute," prattled Mrs. Guinea pig automatically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Beetle thought he had answered, and was beginning to get direct. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Guinea pig doing these days?"

Mrs. Guinea pig would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Beetle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sadly.