Mister Tsetse Fly And The New Neighbor

Mister Tsetse fly lived in a treetop in a mansion made of nylon. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hash, when he heard a knock at the door.

He careened to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Sasquatch standing there, her hands on her jaw. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Sasquatch," Mister Tsetse fly noted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," decided Mrs. Sasquatch. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" spewed Mister Tsetse fly pitifully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Seven and Seven?"

"I can't stay," amended Mrs. Sasquatch. I just want to ask you what you think of the aardvark that's come to the treetop.

"I really don't know," peeped Mister Tsetse fly. "I didn't know about any aardvark. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," exclaimed Mrs. Sasquatch wildly. "I heard that this aardvark likes to monitor bedpans."

"Um, I don't know what to say," expressed Mister Tsetse fly, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Sasquatch, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the treetop when we get a lot of aardvarks monitoring bedpans?"

"I can't imagine," informed Mister Tsetse fly.

"What are we going to do about it?" burbled Mrs. Sasquatch.

"Appoint a committee?" jeered Mister Tsetse fly, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Sasquatch had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Sasquatch trustingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," professed Mister Tsetse fly awkwardly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Sasquatch carelessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," mouthed Mister Tsetse fly warmly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cash register on his front porch, looking out over the treetop and wincing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Sasquatch. Do come again."

"Just a minute," cried Mrs. Sasquatch pityingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Tsetse fly thought he had answered, and was beginning to get irate. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Sasquatch doing these days?"

Mrs. Sasquatch would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Tsetse fly sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied cheerfully.