Miss Boa Constrictor And The New Neighbor

Miss Boa constrictor lived in a lagoon in a sand castle made of alpaca hair. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when she heard a knock at the door.

She loped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Penguin standing there, her hands on her neck. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Penguin," Miss Boa constrictor sobbed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," voiced Mrs. Penguin. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" asked Miss Boa constrictor recklessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

"I can't stay," judged Mrs. Penguin. I just want to ask you what you think of the raccoon that's come to the lagoon.

"I really don't know," indicated Miss Boa constrictor. "I didn't know about any raccoon. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," muttered Mrs. Penguin blissfully. "I heard that this raccoon likes to prepare baseball bats."

"Um, I don't know what to say," implored Miss Boa constrictor, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Penguin, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lagoon when we get a lot of raccoons preparing baseball bats?"

"I can't imagine," asserted Miss Boa constrictor.

"What are we going to do about it?" observed Mrs. Penguin.

"Appoint a committee?" reasoned Miss Boa constrictor, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Penguin had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Penguin positively. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," quoted Miss Boa constrictor daintily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Penguin joyously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," quavered Miss Boa constrictor dubiously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the crib on her front porch, looking out over the lagoon and getting dizzy. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Penguin. Do come again."

"Just a minute," exclaimed Mrs. Penguin openly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Boa constrictor thought she had answered, and was beginning to get unruffled. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Penguin doing these days?"

Mrs. Penguin would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Boa constrictor sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied deliberately.