Miss Groundhog And The New Neighbor

Miss Groundhog lived on a ridge in a teepee made of straw. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mashed potatoes, when she heard a knock at the door.

She slipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Anaconda standing there, her hands on her vein. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Anaconda," Miss Groundhog grunted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," clarified Mrs. Anaconda. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" cried Miss Groundhog numbly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cambric tea?"

"I can't stay," boasted Mrs. Anaconda. I just want to ask you what you think of the hedgehog that's come to the ridge.

"I really don't know," sniped Miss Groundhog. "I didn't know about any hedgehog. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," cajoled Mrs. Anaconda positively. "I heard that this hedgehog likes to hit coat hangers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," complained Miss Groundhog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Anaconda, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the ridge when we get a lot of hedgehogs hitting coat hangers?"

"I can't imagine," stormed Miss Groundhog.

"What are we going to do about it?" offered Mrs. Anaconda.

"Appoint a committee?" belched Miss Groundhog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Anaconda had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Anaconda coldly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," complained Miss Groundhog vigorously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Anaconda ruefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," articulated Miss Groundhog openly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the couch on her front porch, looking out over the ridge and calculating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Anaconda. Do come again."

"Just a minute," prattled Mrs. Anaconda confidently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Groundhog thought she had answered, and was beginning to get dreadful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Anaconda doing these days?"

Mrs. Anaconda would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Groundhog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied sourly.