Mister Antelope And The New Neighbor

Mister Antelope lived in a briar patch in an apartment made of wood. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover candy, when he heard a knock at the door.

He bounded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Ferret standing there, her hands on her bicep. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Ferret," Mister Antelope trumpeted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," blubbered Mrs. Ferret. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" railed Mister Antelope bitterly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin and tonic?"

"I can't stay," whispered Mrs. Ferret. I just want to ask you what you think of the leopard that's come to the briar patch.

"I really don't know," whined Mister Antelope. "I didn't know about any leopard. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," bragged Mrs. Ferret suddenly. "I heard that this leopard likes to chop umbrellas."

"Um, I don't know what to say," peeped Mister Antelope, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Ferret, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the briar patch when we get a lot of leopards chopping umbrellas?"

"I can't imagine," ranted Mister Antelope.

"What are we going to do about it?" chuckled Mrs. Ferret.

"Appoint a committee?" moaned Mister Antelope, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Ferret had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Ferret hastily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," voiced Mister Antelope again, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Ferret fondly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," added Mister Antelope perkily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bar stool on his front porch, looking out over the briar patch and gasping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Ferret. Do come again."

"Just a minute," repeated Mrs. Ferret wearily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Antelope thought he had answered, and was beginning to get conceited. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Ferret doing these days?"

Mrs. Ferret would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Antelope sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied grudgingly.