Mister Oyster And The New Neighbor

Mister Oyster lived on a mountainside in a trough made of corncobs. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover enchiladas, when he heard a knock at the door.

He padded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Canary standing there, her hands on her hangnail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Canary," Mister Oyster decided, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yelled Mrs. Canary. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" stormed Mister Oyster awkwardly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of whiskey?"

"I can't stay," bawled Mrs. Canary. I just want to ask you what you think of the wallaby that's come to the mountainside.

"I really don't know," informed Mister Oyster. "I didn't know about any wallaby. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," muttered Mrs. Canary neatly. "I heard that this wallaby likes to sharpen boomerangs."

"Um, I don't know what to say," debated Mister Oyster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Canary, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountainside when we get a lot of wallabies sharpening boomerangs?"

"I can't imagine," hinted Mister Oyster.

"What are we going to do about it?" judged Mrs. Canary.

"Appoint a committee?" inquired Mister Oyster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Canary had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Canary warily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," rambled Mister Oyster recklessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Canary impatiently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," babbled Mister Oyster wearily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the casket on his front porch, looking out over the mountainside and laughing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Canary. Do come again."

"Just a minute," cajoled Mrs. Canary flightily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Oyster thought he had answered, and was beginning to get gentle. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Canary doing these days?"

Mrs. Canary would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Oyster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied suavely.