Mister Cheetah And The New Neighbor

Mister Cheetah lived in a grassland in a penthouse made of pebbles. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Hamburger Helper, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sprinted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Louse standing there, her hands on her scalp. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Louse," Mister Cheetah stormed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," agreed Mrs. Louse. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" said Mister Cheetah proudly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gimlet?"

"I can't stay," rumored Mrs. Louse. I just want to ask you what you think of the beetle that's come to the grassland.

"I really don't know," protested Mister Cheetah. "I didn't know about any beetle. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," laughed Mrs. Louse greedily. "I heard that this beetle likes to whack bedpans."

"Um, I don't know what to say," tittered Mister Cheetah, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Louse, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassland when we get a lot of beetles whacking bedpans?"

"I can't imagine," blubbered Mister Cheetah.

"What are we going to do about it?" snarled Mrs. Louse.

"Appoint a committee?" simpered Mister Cheetah, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Louse had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Louse numbly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," orated Mister Cheetah sweetly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Louse deliberately. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," breathed Mister Cheetah tensely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the futon on his front porch, looking out over the grassland and coughing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Louse. Do come again."

"Just a minute," yowled Mrs. Louse woodenly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Cheetah thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sinister. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Louse doing these days?"

Mrs. Louse would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Cheetah sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied brightly.