Miss Panther And The New Neighbor

Miss Panther lived in a cornfield in a condominium made of platinum. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover popcorn, when she heard a knock at the door.

She staggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Mountain goat standing there, her hands on her nose. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Mountain goat," Miss Panther stormed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," grunted Mrs. Mountain goat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" implored Miss Panther warmly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a chamomile tea?"

"I can't stay," cried Mrs. Mountain goat. I just want to ask you what you think of the tsetse fly that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," provoked Miss Panther. "I didn't know about any tsetse fly. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," winked Mrs. Mountain goat frenetically. "I heard that this tsetse fly likes to slice bottles of painkillers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," swore Miss Panther, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Mountain goat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of tsetse flies slicing bottles of painkillers?"

"I can't imagine," retorted Miss Panther.

"What are we going to do about it?" worried Mrs. Mountain goat.

"Appoint a committee?" said Miss Panther, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Mountain goat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Mountain goat fervently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," declared Miss Panther despondently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Mountain goat automatically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," croaked Miss Panther needlessly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the hope chest on her front porch, looking out over the cornfield and doing the Hokey Pokey. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Mountain goat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," wailed Mrs. Mountain goat cunningly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Panther thought she had answered, and was beginning to get artistic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Mountain goat doing these days?"

Mrs. Mountain goat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Panther sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied cautiously.