Mister Unicorn And The New Neighbor

Mister Unicorn lived in a cave in a Victorian mansion made of cookie dough. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover oatmeal, when he heard a knock at the door.

He crawled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Polecat standing there, her hands on her face. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Polecat," Mister Unicorn observed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," preached Mrs. Polecat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" clarified Mister Unicorn courageously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an iced tea?"

"I can't stay," rebutted Mrs. Polecat. I just want to ask you what you think of the Siamese cat that's come to the cave.

"I really don't know," belched Mister Unicorn. "I didn't know about any Siamese cat. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chanted Mrs. Polecat vacantly. "I heard that this Siamese cat likes to overlook statues."

"Um, I don't know what to say," uttered Mister Unicorn, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Polecat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cave when we get a lot of Siamese cats overlooking statues?"

"I can't imagine," groaned Mister Unicorn.

"What are we going to do about it?" mouthed Mrs. Polecat.

"Appoint a committee?" guessed Mister Unicorn, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Polecat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Polecat courageously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," wailed Mister Unicorn charmingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Polecat brashly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," analyzed Mister Unicorn defiantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bench on his front porch, looking out over the cave and collapsing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Polecat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," emphasized Mrs. Polecat uneasily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Unicorn thought he had answered, and was beginning to get intelligent. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Polecat doing these days?"

Mrs. Polecat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Unicorn sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied suavely.