Mister Cougar And The New Neighbor

Mister Cougar lived in a pond in a cottage made of metal. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fried eggs, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sailed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Alligator standing there, her hands on her femur. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Alligator," Mister Cougar accused, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," mentioned Mrs. Alligator. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" yawned Mister Cougar ferociously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a milkshake?"

"I can't stay," griped Mrs. Alligator. I just want to ask you what you think of the dog that's come to the pond.

"I really don't know," queried Mister Cougar. "I didn't know about any dog. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," reacted Mrs. Alligator repeatedly. "I heard that this dog likes to bathe bowling balls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," complained Mister Cougar, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Alligator, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the pond when we get a lot of dogs bathing bowling balls?"

"I can't imagine," taunted Mister Cougar.

"What are we going to do about it?" mumbled Mrs. Alligator.

"Appoint a committee?" debated Mister Cougar, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Alligator had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Alligator wearily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," crooned Mister Cougar lazily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Alligator briskly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," imitated Mister Cougar fearlessly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the wooden crate on his front porch, looking out over the pond and pacing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Alligator. Do come again."

"Just a minute," phrased Mrs. Alligator sourly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Cougar thought he had answered, and was beginning to get ladylike. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Alligator doing these days?"

Mrs. Alligator would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Cougar sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied anxiously.