Mister Goose And The New Neighbor

Mister Goose lived in a cave in a Victorian mansion made of balsa. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Hamburger Helper, when he heard a knock at the door.

He leapt to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Anteater standing there, his hands on his spine. "How nice to see you, Mister Anteater," Mister Goose wailed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," ranted Mister Anteater. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" fumed Mister Goose wildly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Alka-Seltzer?"

"I can't stay," interpreted Mister Anteater. I just want to ask you what you think of the worm that's come to the cave.

"I really don't know," instructed Mister Goose. "I didn't know about any worm. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," spouted Mister Anteater strictly. "I heard that this worm likes to mutilate cigarettes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," bragged Mister Goose, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Anteater, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cave when we get a lot of worms mutilating cigarettes?"

"I can't imagine," requested Mister Goose.

"What are we going to do about it?" chortled Mister Anteater.

"Appoint a committee?" bawled Mister Goose, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Anteater had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Anteater recklessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," chortled Mister Goose speedily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Anteater haughtily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," rambled Mister Goose sympathetically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the credenza on his front porch, looking out over the cave and bawling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Anteater. Do come again."

"Just a minute," pleaded Mister Anteater patiently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Goose thought he had answered, and was beginning to get tense. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Anteater doing these days?"

Mister Anteater would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Goose sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied brightly.