Miss Antelope And The New Neighbor

Miss Antelope lived on a tundra in a teepee made of sugar. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover potatoes and gravy, when she heard a knock at the door.

She slithered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Crab standing there, his hands on his calf. "How nice to see you, Mister Crab," Miss Antelope rebutted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," bawled Mister Crab. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" recited Miss Antelope languidly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Shirley Temple?"

"I can't stay," panted Mister Crab. I just want to ask you what you think of the donkey that's come to the tundra.

"I really don't know," blubbered Miss Antelope. "I didn't know about any donkey. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," peeped Mister Crab demurely. "I heard that this donkey likes to shoot feather dusters."

"Um, I don't know what to say," roared Miss Antelope, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Crab, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the tundra when we get a lot of donkeys shooting feather dusters?"

"I can't imagine," requested Miss Antelope.

"What are we going to do about it?" rebutted Mister Crab.

"Appoint a committee?" giggled Miss Antelope, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Crab had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Crab recklessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," asserted Miss Antelope vigorously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Crab surreptitiously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," rambled Miss Antelope haughtily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the dresser on her front porch, looking out over the tundra and jerking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Crab. Do come again."

"Just a minute," purred Mister Crab blindly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Antelope thought she had answered, and was beginning to get lanky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Crab doing these days?"

Mister Crab would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Antelope sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied angrily.