Miss Orangutan And The New Neighbor

Miss Orangutan lived in a badlands area in a houseboat made of ice. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover duck a l'orange, when she heard a knock at the door.

She leapt to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Zebra standing there, her hands on her gut. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Zebra," Miss Orangutan answered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," wailed Mrs. Zebra. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" scoffed Miss Orangutan gracefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of champagne?"

"I can't stay," stammered Mrs. Zebra. I just want to ask you what you think of the ass that's come to the badlands area.

"I really don't know," piped up Miss Orangutan. "I didn't know about any ass. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," judged Mrs. Zebra calmly. "I heard that this ass likes to freeze joints."

"Um, I don't know what to say," crooned Miss Orangutan, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Zebra, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the badlands area when we get a lot of asses freezing joints?"

"I can't imagine," panted Miss Orangutan.

"What are we going to do about it?" explained Mrs. Zebra.

"Appoint a committee?" boomed Miss Orangutan, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Zebra had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Zebra bravely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," muttered Miss Orangutan recklessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Zebra warily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," whined Miss Orangutan valiantly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the stairway on her front porch, looking out over the badlands area and wandering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Zebra. Do come again."

"Just a minute," articulated Mrs. Zebra charmingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Orangutan thought she had answered, and was beginning to get furious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Zebra doing these days?"

Mrs. Zebra would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Orangutan sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied blankly.