Miss Lizard And The New Neighbor

Miss Lizard lived on a plateau in a Spanish colonial made of rock. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when she heard a knock at the door.

She trekked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Hawk standing there, his hands on his elbow. "How nice to see you, Mister Hawk," Miss Lizard complained, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," jeered Mister Hawk. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" announced Miss Lizard suspiciously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

"I can't stay," jeered Mister Hawk. I just want to ask you what you think of the polar bear that's come to the plateau.

"I really don't know," belched Miss Lizard. "I didn't know about any polar bear. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," called Mister Hawk offhandedly. "I heard that this polar bear likes to pummel pinwheels."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sniveled Miss Lizard, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Hawk, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plateau when we get a lot of polar bears pummeling pinwheels?"

"I can't imagine," ranted Miss Lizard.

"What are we going to do about it?" yammered Mister Hawk.

"Appoint a committee?" wondered Miss Lizard, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Hawk had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Hawk languidly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," panted Miss Lizard unexpectedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Hawk accidentally. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," accused Miss Lizard nervously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the rug on her front porch, looking out over the plateau and preaching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Hawk. Do come again."

"Just a minute," sneered Mister Hawk testily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Lizard thought she had answered, and was beginning to get solitary. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Hawk doing these days?"

Mister Hawk would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Lizard sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied happily.