Mister Hermit Crab And The New Neighbor

Mister Hermit crab lived in a cornfield in a cabin made of old tires. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hamburgers, when he heard a knock at the door.

He skittered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Walrus standing there, his hands on his aorta. "How nice to see you, Mister Walrus," Mister Hermit crab cajoled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," agreed Mister Walrus. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" acknowledged Mister Hermit crab sternly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of water?"

"I can't stay," shouted Mister Walrus. I just want to ask you what you think of the ghost that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," cried Mister Hermit crab. "I didn't know about any ghost. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yelped Mister Walrus flightily. "I heard that this ghost likes to grind rocks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," guessed Mister Hermit crab, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Walrus, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of ghosts grinding rocks?"

"I can't imagine," spat Mister Hermit crab.

"What are we going to do about it?" noted Mister Walrus.

"Appoint a committee?" sneered Mister Hermit crab, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Walrus had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Walrus trustingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," grieved Mister Hermit crab offhandedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Walrus silently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," screeched Mister Hermit crab resignedly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the workbench on his front porch, looking out over the cornfield and huffing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Walrus. Do come again."

"Just a minute," analyzed Mister Walrus neatly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Hermit crab thought he had answered, and was beginning to get hirsute. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Walrus doing these days?"

Mister Walrus would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Hermit crab sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied dreamily.