Miss Aardvark And The New Neighbor

Miss Aardvark lived on a range in a condominium made of twigs. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ramen noodles, when she heard a knock at the door.

She capered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Goldfish standing there, his hands on his hip. "How nice to see you, Mister Goldfish," Miss Aardvark brought up, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," alleged Mister Goldfish. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" gabbed Miss Aardvark nicely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of hot chocolate?"

"I can't stay," groaned Mister Goldfish. I just want to ask you what you think of the partridge that's come to the range.

"I really don't know," sniped Miss Aardvark. "I didn't know about any partridge. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," noted Mister Goldfish repeatedly. "I heard that this partridge likes to scuff telephone books."

"Um, I don't know what to say," said Miss Aardvark, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Goldfish, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the range when we get a lot of partridges scuffing telephone books?"

"I can't imagine," concluded Miss Aardvark.

"What are we going to do about it?" admitted Mister Goldfish.

"Appoint a committee?" concluded Miss Aardvark, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Goldfish had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Goldfish furiously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," asked Miss Aardvark testily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Goldfish rapidly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," phrased Miss Aardvark cunningly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the windowsill on her front porch, looking out over the range and jiggling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Goldfish. Do come again."

"Just a minute," agreed Mister Goldfish openly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Aardvark thought she had answered, and was beginning to get obnoxious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Goldfish doing these days?"

Mister Goldfish would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Aardvark sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied fondly.