Miss Alligator And The New Neighbor

Miss Alligator lived on a mountaintop in a farmhouse made of moss. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mashed potatoes, when she heard a knock at the door.

She jumped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Newt standing there, her hands on her cheek. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Newt," Miss Alligator concluded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," revealed Mrs. Newt. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" agreed Miss Alligator wryly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an ice cream soda?"

"I can't stay," screamed Mrs. Newt. I just want to ask you what you think of the musk-ox that's come to the mountaintop.

"I really don't know," implored Miss Alligator. "I didn't know about any musk-ox. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," screeched Mrs. Newt hopelessly. "I heard that this musk-ox likes to wrap piggy banks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," stuttered Miss Alligator, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Newt, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountaintop when we get a lot of musk-oxen wrapping piggy banks?"

"I can't imagine," asserted Miss Alligator.

"What are we going to do about it?" panted Mrs. Newt.

"Appoint a committee?" shrieked Miss Alligator, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Newt had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Newt carelessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," answered Miss Alligator hopefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Newt lazily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," asserted Miss Alligator tensely, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the water bed on her front porch, looking out over the mountaintop and treading water. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Newt. Do come again."

"Just a minute," barked Mrs. Newt rapidly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Alligator thought she had answered, and was beginning to get moronic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Newt doing these days?"

Mrs. Newt would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Alligator sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied menacingly.