Mister Mongoose And The New Neighbor

Mister Mongoose lived on a ridge in a box made of pipe. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover dry toast, when he heard a knock at the door.

He hopped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Squirrel standing there, his hands on his rib. "How nice to see you, Mister Squirrel," Mister Mongoose uttered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," chanted Mister Squirrel. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" yelled Mister Mongoose humbly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a painkiller?"

"I can't stay," intoned Mister Squirrel. I just want to ask you what you think of the badger that's come to the ridge.

"I really don't know," tittered Mister Mongoose. "I didn't know about any badger. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," brought up Mister Squirrel innocently. "I heard that this badger likes to rattle corsages."

"Um, I don't know what to say," snorted Mister Mongoose, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Squirrel, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the ridge when we get a lot of badgers rattling corsages?"

"I can't imagine," blubbered Mister Mongoose.

"What are we going to do about it?" whined Mister Squirrel.

"Appoint a committee?" sputtered Mister Mongoose, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Squirrel had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Squirrel greedily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," whispered Mister Mongoose kindly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Squirrel fondly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," boomed Mister Mongoose zestily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the couch on his front porch, looking out over the ridge and seething. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Squirrel. Do come again."

"Just a minute," blustered Mister Squirrel properly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Mongoose thought he had answered, and was beginning to get vile. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Squirrel doing these days?"

Mister Squirrel would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Mongoose sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied blissfully.