Mister Lobster And The New Neighbor

Mister Lobster lived on a range in a Spanish colonial made of marbles. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover corn on the cob, when he heard a knock at the door.

He swung to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Skunk standing there, her hands on her toenail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Skunk," Mister Lobster rationalized, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," belched Mrs. Skunk. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" requested Mister Lobster merrily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a whiskey sour?"

"I can't stay," railed Mrs. Skunk. I just want to ask you what you think of the unicorn that's come to the range.

"I really don't know," clarified Mister Lobster. "I didn't know about any unicorn. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," begged Mrs. Skunk testily. "I heard that this unicorn likes to clamp trash cans."

"Um, I don't know what to say," taunted Mister Lobster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Skunk, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the range when we get a lot of unicorns clamping trash cans?"

"I can't imagine," requested Mister Lobster.

"What are we going to do about it?" judged Mrs. Skunk.

"Appoint a committee?" jeered Mister Lobster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Skunk had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Skunk oddly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," raved Mister Lobster excitedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Skunk nicely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," peeped Mister Lobster menacingly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the billiard table on his front porch, looking out over the range and blinking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Skunk. Do come again."

"Just a minute," lectured Mrs. Skunk obediently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Lobster thought he had answered, and was beginning to get unselfish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Skunk doing these days?"

Mrs. Skunk would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Lobster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied defiantly.