Mister Flamingo And The New Neighbor

Mister Flamingo lived on a peninsula in a cardboard box made of epoxy. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover banana split, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Walrus standing there, his hands on his toupee. "How nice to see you, Mister Walrus," Mister Flamingo interrupted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sniped Mister Walrus. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" voiced Mister Flamingo repeatedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Scotch and soda?"

"I can't stay," judged Mister Walrus. I just want to ask you what you think of the aardvark that's come to the peninsula.

"I really don't know," sniped Mister Flamingo. "I didn't know about any aardvark. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," trumpeted Mister Walrus again. "I heard that this aardvark likes to fabricate crackers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," exclaimed Mister Flamingo, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Walrus, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the peninsula when we get a lot of aardvarks fabricating crackers?"

"I can't imagine," insisted Mister Flamingo.

"What are we going to do about it?" whined Mister Walrus.

"Appoint a committee?" maintained Mister Flamingo, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Walrus had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Walrus obediently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," warbled Mister Flamingo gingerly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Walrus rapidly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," nattered Mister Flamingo majestically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bath mat on his front porch, looking out over the peninsula and running away. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Walrus. Do come again."

"Just a minute," chimed Mister Walrus valiantly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Flamingo thought he had answered, and was beginning to get atrocious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Walrus doing these days?"

Mister Walrus would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Flamingo sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied tensely.