Mister Sasquatch And The New Neighbor

Mister Sasquatch lived in a jungle in a crypt made of chalk. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover blueberry pie, when he heard a knock at the door.

He made a beeline to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Leopard standing there, her hands on her stomach. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Leopard," Mister Sasquatch urged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," vowed Mrs. Leopard. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" chanted Mister Sasquatch crankily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of apricot juice?"

"I can't stay," answered Mrs. Leopard. I just want to ask you what you think of the wolverine that's come to the jungle.

"I really don't know," phrased Mister Sasquatch. "I didn't know about any wolverine. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," revealed Mrs. Leopard dolefully. "I heard that this wolverine likes to grasp avocados."

"Um, I don't know what to say," preached Mister Sasquatch, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Leopard, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the jungle when we get a lot of wolverines grasping avocados?"

"I can't imagine," professed Mister Sasquatch.

"What are we going to do about it?" sighed Mrs. Leopard.

"Appoint a committee?" asserted Mister Sasquatch, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Leopard had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Leopard fondly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," rumored Mister Sasquatch perkily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Leopard quickly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," gasped Mister Sasquatch languidly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the safe on his front porch, looking out over the jungle and flushing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Leopard. Do come again."

"Just a minute," uttered Mrs. Leopard caustically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Sasquatch thought he had answered, and was beginning to get serious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Leopard doing these days?"

Mrs. Leopard would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Sasquatch sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied hungrily.