Mister Magpie And The New Neighbor

Mister Magpie lived on a path in a travel trailer made of plutonium. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken chow mein, when he heard a knock at the door.

He skipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Mosquito standing there, her hands on her hip. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Mosquito," Mister Magpie accused, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," fumed Mrs. Mosquito. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" fumed Mister Magpie majestically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Brandy Alexander?"

"I can't stay," smirked Mrs. Mosquito. I just want to ask you what you think of the jaguar that's come to the path.

"I really don't know," yawned Mister Magpie. "I didn't know about any jaguar. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," enunciated Mrs. Mosquito greedily. "I heard that this jaguar likes to dye coupons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," purred Mister Magpie, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Mosquito, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the path when we get a lot of jaguars dyeing coupons?"

"I can't imagine," whispered Mister Magpie.

"What are we going to do about it?" uttered Mrs. Mosquito.

"Appoint a committee?" indicated Mister Magpie, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Mosquito had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Mosquito uselessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," purred Mister Magpie automatically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Mosquito sourly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," spoke up Mister Magpie temperamentally, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bookcase on his front porch, looking out over the path and adjusting the clock. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Mosquito. Do come again."

"Just a minute," professed Mrs. Mosquito threateningly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Magpie thought he had answered, and was beginning to get muddled. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Mosquito doing these days?"

Mrs. Mosquito would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Magpie sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied dubiously.