Mister Boa Constrictor And The New Neighbor

Mister Boa constrictor lived in a gulch in an igloo made of asbestos. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pizza, when he heard a knock at the door.

He dashed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Dingo standing there, his hands on his tongue. "How nice to see you, Mister Dingo," Mister Boa constrictor quavered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," commented Mister Dingo. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" uttered Mister Boa constrictor hastily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a mint julep?"

"I can't stay," worried Mister Dingo. I just want to ask you what you think of the shrew that's come to the gulch.

"I really don't know," affirmed Mister Boa constrictor. "I didn't know about any shrew. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," announced Mister Dingo silently. "I heard that this shrew likes to ignore coloring books."

"Um, I don't know what to say," retorted Mister Boa constrictor, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Dingo, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the gulch when we get a lot of shrews ignoring coloring books?"

"I can't imagine," grunted Mister Boa constrictor.

"What are we going to do about it?" simpered Mister Dingo.

"Appoint a committee?" belched Mister Boa constrictor, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Dingo had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Dingo fiercely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," chattered Mister Boa constrictor frenetically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Dingo daintily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," wondered Mister Boa constrictor energetically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the overstuffed chair on his front porch, looking out over the gulch and dancing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Dingo. Do come again."

"Just a minute," announced Mister Dingo steadily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Boa constrictor thought he had answered, and was beginning to get difficult. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Dingo doing these days?"

Mister Dingo would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Boa constrictor sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied wearily.