Miss Hog And The New Neighbor

Miss Hog lived in a field in a crypt made of chewing gum. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Swiss cheese, when she heard a knock at the door.

She waded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Duck standing there, her hands on her chest. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Duck," Miss Hog begged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," amended Mrs. Duck. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" winked Miss Hog demurely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of fruit punch?"

"I can't stay," debated Mrs. Duck. I just want to ask you what you think of the mole that's come to the field.

"I really don't know," added Miss Hog. "I didn't know about any mole. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," simpered Mrs. Duck primly. "I heard that this mole likes to study necklaces."

"Um, I don't know what to say," murmured Miss Hog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Duck, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the field when we get a lot of moles studying necklaces?"

"I can't imagine," indicated Miss Hog.

"What are we going to do about it?" barked Mrs. Duck.

"Appoint a committee?" instructed Miss Hog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Duck had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Duck dolefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," cackled Miss Hog bravely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Duck unexpectedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," worried Miss Hog sorrowfully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the cash register on her front porch, looking out over the field and getting dizzy. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Duck. Do come again."

"Just a minute," guessed Mrs. Duck anxiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Hog thought she had answered, and was beginning to get puzzled. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Duck doing these days?"

Mrs. Duck would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Hog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied coldly.