Mister Chameleon And The New Neighbor

Mister Chameleon lived in a lagoon in a subway tunnel made of fairy dust. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast beef, when he heard a knock at the door.

He flew to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Warthog standing there, her hands on her tummy. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Warthog," Mister Chameleon expressed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," implored Mrs. Warthog. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" stated Mister Chameleon sarcastically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Moscow mule?"

"I can't stay," proposed Mrs. Warthog. I just want to ask you what you think of the crocodile that's come to the lagoon.

"I really don't know," jeered Mister Chameleon. "I didn't know about any crocodile. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," screamed Mrs. Warthog innocently. "I heard that this crocodile likes to package carrots."

"Um, I don't know what to say," uttered Mister Chameleon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Warthog, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lagoon when we get a lot of crocodiles packaging carrots?"

"I can't imagine," demanded Mister Chameleon.

"What are we going to do about it?" phrased Mrs. Warthog.

"Appoint a committee?" intimated Mister Chameleon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Warthog had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Warthog clumsily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," snarled Mister Chameleon peevishly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Warthog suavely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," accused Mister Chameleon charmingly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the display case on his front porch, looking out over the lagoon and shriveling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Warthog. Do come again."

"Just a minute," whimpered Mrs. Warthog hysterically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Chameleon thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sober. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Warthog doing these days?"

Mrs. Warthog would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Chameleon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied quickly.