Mister Fox And The New Neighbor

Mister Fox lived on a veld in a convent made of straw. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover dirty rice, when he heard a knock at the door.

He swaggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Hamster standing there, her hands on her wrist. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Hamster," Mister Fox disputed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," uttered Mrs. Hamster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" spewed Mister Fox fondly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Scotch and soda?"

"I can't stay," asked Mrs. Hamster. I just want to ask you what you think of the boar that's come to the veld.

"I really don't know," whined Mister Fox. "I didn't know about any boar. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," reasoned Mrs. Hamster cautiously. "I heard that this boar likes to grapple dead horses."

"Um, I don't know what to say," blustered Mister Fox, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Hamster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the veld when we get a lot of boars grappling dead horses?"

"I can't imagine," whispered Mister Fox.

"What are we going to do about it?" snorted Mrs. Hamster.

"Appoint a committee?" articulated Mister Fox, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Hamster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Hamster innocently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," begged Mister Fox viciously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Hamster grudgingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," stated Mister Fox valiantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the beanbag chair on his front porch, looking out over the veld and sighing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Hamster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," chortled Mrs. Hamster slyly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Fox thought he had answered, and was beginning to get brassy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Hamster doing these days?"

Mrs. Hamster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Fox sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied lovingly.