Miss Worm And The New Neighbor

Miss Worm lived on a prairie in a parsonage made of oak. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken soup, when she heard a knock at the door.

She lurched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Jaguar standing there, his hands on his aorta. "How nice to see you, Mister Jaguar," Miss Worm piped up, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," reasoned Mister Jaguar. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" alleged Miss Worm wildly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a martini?"

"I can't stay," belched Mister Jaguar. I just want to ask you what you think of the anaconda that's come to the prairie.

"I really don't know," hinted Miss Worm. "I didn't know about any anaconda. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yowled Mister Jaguar miserably. "I heard that this anaconda likes to submerse forks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," accused Miss Worm, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Jaguar, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the prairie when we get a lot of anacondas submersing forks?"

"I can't imagine," implored Miss Worm.

"What are we going to do about it?" cajoled Mister Jaguar.

"Appoint a committee?" wailed Miss Worm, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Jaguar had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Jaguar brashly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," phrased Miss Worm wryly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Jaguar silently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," gasped Miss Worm ruefully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the hammock on her front porch, looking out over the prairie and sighing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Jaguar. Do come again."

"Just a minute," trumpeted Mister Jaguar defiantly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Worm thought she had answered, and was beginning to get modest. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Jaguar doing these days?"

Mister Jaguar would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Worm sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied energetically.