Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might throw the place with the slightest provocation. He was Luke, the most cautious man in Waco. The bartender set another kamikaze in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the wet front door swung open. A woman wearing a watch and a pair of booties slumped immediately into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer sprinted to the bar and sat down beside Luke.
Luke turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her ferociously. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, Boopsie?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the manticores start to chatter," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a vacuum cleaner.
"What did you say, gentle soul? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, lubberly lout. My name ain't your concern, so stretch."
Luke stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he reacted. "This here friend of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered daringly, their noses quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger fumed, ignoring Luke's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my sugar-bun a Harvey Wallbanger," Luke peeped. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of puncturing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Harvey Wallbanger in front of the woman. The stranger gleefully picked up the drink.
Woodenly, Luke grabbed the stranger by her pride, trying to kiss her passionately on her head. The stranger straggled up, seized Luke by the thigh, and with an urbane raised eyebrow, dragged him to a nearby rug and turned him on his heart.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger rationalized thoughtfully. "The name's Beverly, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Luke sputtered frenetically until Beverly let go and dolorously turned away with a frantic flutter. Suddenly, Luke reached into his jogging suit and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, starlight. I got something for you, doll."
Beverly turned shakily, drew her peacemaker, and faced Luke. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Rapacious? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other blindly for what seemed like a second. Finally, Luke lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Luke lamented mysteriously. "You got a lotta lips for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Beverly took his hand with a melancholic tear. "You know, main squeeze, you're kinda gallant when you're angry."
Luke chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Harvey Wallbanger," he jeered.