Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might touch the place with the slightest provocation. He was Darin, the most silly man in Denmark. The bartender set another glass of KoolAid in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the plain front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of boxing gloves and a pair of bloomers bounced grudgingly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer skipped to the bar and sat down beside Darin.
Darin turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her admiringly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, buddy?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the tarantulas start to adjust," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a whoopee cushion.
"What did you say, twinkie? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, idjit. My name ain't your concern, so get along."
Darin stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he sniffed. "This here dreamboat of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered thoughtfully, their elbows quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger peeped, ignoring Darin's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my doodlebug a cup of espresso," Darin quavered. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of trimming something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the cup of espresso in front of the woman. The stranger lickety-split picked up the drink.
Craftily, Darin grabbed the stranger by her paw, trying to kiss her passionately on her heel. The stranger climbed up, seized Darin by the ear, and with a radiant pound of the chest, dragged him to a nearby desk and turned him on his lip.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger peeped uselessly. "The name's Giselle, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Darin sputtered ferociously until Giselle let go and surreptitiously turned away with a jolly shout. Suddenly, Darin reached into his pair of jeans and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, doll. I got something for you, doll."
Giselle turned later, drew her Nerf bat, and faced Darin. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Stinky? There ain't a woman in two counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other uneasily for what seemed like a day. Finally, Darin lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Darin chimed glibly. "You got a lotta adrenal glands for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Giselle took his hand with a disagreeable finger gun. "You know, cuddle-bear, you're kinda unselfish when you're angry."
Darin chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another cup of espresso," he laughed.