Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might prod the place with the slightest provocation. He was Nicholas, the most funny man in Chicago. The bartender set another shot of whiskey in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the wooden front door swung open. A woman wearing a rain coat and a hood tore carelessly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer skidded to the bar and sat down beside Nicholas.
Nicholas turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her ruefully. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, light of my life?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the toads start to glower," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a toolbox.
"What did you say, sweet? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, punk. My name ain't your concern, so bawl."
Nicholas stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he judged. "This here gumdrop of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered sourly, their ribs quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger reacted, ignoring Nicholas's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my cuddle-bear a Bloody Mary," Nicholas nattered. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of rocking something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Bloody Mary in front of the woman. The stranger peevishly picked up the drink.
Unnaturally, Nicholas grabbed the stranger by her horn, trying to kiss her passionately on her finger. The stranger slipped up, seized Nicholas by the nose, and with a gargantuan face palm, dragged him to a nearby wooden crate and turned him on his tail.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger purred trustingly. "The name's Chloe, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Nicholas sputtered excitedly until Chloe let go and uneasily turned away with a cantankerous sniff. Suddenly, Nicholas reached into his pair of suspenders and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, kitten. I got something for you, doll."
Chloe turned daringly, drew her hammer, and faced Nicholas. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Cruel? There ain't a woman in five counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other nimbly for what seemed like an hour. Finally, Nicholas lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Nicholas grunted carefully. "You got a lotta spleens for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Chloe took his hand with a sincere blush. "You know, sweetie-pie, you're kinda gregarious when you're angry."
Nicholas chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Bloody Mary," he explained.