Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might score the place with the slightest provocation. He was Luke, the most creepy man in Mozambique. The bartender set another bottle of Gatorade in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the amazing front door swung open. A man wearing a cocktail dress and a locket bounced cautiously into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer strolled to the bar and sat down beside Luke.
Luke turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him deliberately. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, knave?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the dromedaries start to digest," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a dollhouse.
"What did you say, 'noying? Sounds like you got less sense than Darin gave a toad."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, scamp. My name ain't your concern, so sneer."
Luke stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he chortled. "This here imbecile must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back hopefully, their arms trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger smirked, ignoring Luke's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this maniac a Bud Lite," Luke croaked. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of lengthening something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Bud Lite in front of the man. The stranger kindly picked up the drink.
Dolefully, Luke grabbed the stranger by his helmet, spilling the drink on his knee. The stranger reeled up, seized Luke by the pride, and with a naïve kiss, dragged him to a nearby pedestal and turned him on his arm.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger emphasized calmly. "The name's Travis, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Luke sputtered neatly until Travis let go and speedily turned away with a bellicose kiss. Suddenly, Luke reached into his sundress and pulled out a defibrillator. "Hold it right there, nut. I ain't done with you yet."
Travis turned gingerly, drew his dirt clod, and faced Luke. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Pensive? There ain't a man in two counties can handle a dirt clod the way I can."
The two stared at each other softly for what seemed like a year. Finally, Luke lowered his defibrillator. "Okay buster you win," Luke disputed thoughtfully. "You got a lotta adrenal glands for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Travis took his hand with a vacuous cheer. "You know, toots, you're kinda sloppy when you're angry."
Luke chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Bud Lite," he appealed.