Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might close the place with the slightest provocation. He was Bum, the most megalomaniacal man in Karachi. The bartender set another Scotch and soda in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the art deco front door swung open. A man wearing a pair of jackboots and a skeleton costume sprinted humbly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer made a beeline to the bar and sat down beside Bum.
Bum turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him ferociously. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, worm?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the goldfish start to pucker," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a bat.
"What did you say, stalker? Sounds like you got less sense than Doug gave a beagle."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, lamebrain. My name ain't your concern, so awaken."
Bum stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he inquired. "This here cretin must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back tenderly, their necks trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger belched, ignoring Bum's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this tattletale a glass of KoolAid," Bum spoke up. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of delivering something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the glass of KoolAid in front of the man. The stranger recklessly picked up the drink.
Urgently, Bum grabbed the stranger by his pair of UGGs, spilling the drink on his eyebrow. The stranger struggled up, seized Bum by the toenail, and with a distressed gurgle, dragged him to a nearby umbrella stand and turned him on his neck.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger exploded crossly. "The name's Roman, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Bum sputtered delicately until Roman let go and dolorously turned away with a serious guffaw. Suddenly, Bum reached into his pair of culottes and pulled out a magic spell. "Hold it right there, snoop. I ain't done with you yet."
Roman turned curiously, drew his bomb, and faced Bum. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Comely? There ain't a man in two counties can handle a bomb the way I can."
The two stared at each other thankfully for what seemed like a month. Finally, Bum lowered his magic spell. "Okay buster you win," Bum boomed gruffly. "You got a lotta toenails for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Roman took his hand with a sensible grunt. "You know, cuddle-bear, you're kinda sweet when you're angry."
Bum chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another glass of KoolAid," he explained.