Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might bite the place with the slightest provocation. He was Anthony, the most sleek man in Mauritania. The bartender set another chamomile tea in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the well worn front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of shoes and a pair of gloves ran gently into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer galumphed to the bar and sat down beside Anthony.
Anthony turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her perkily. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, friend?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the apes start to blink," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a tote bag.
"What did you say, gumdrop? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, nerd. My name ain't your concern, so take a bath."
Anthony stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he harangued. "This here punkin of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered admiringly, their spines quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger retorted, ignoring Anthony's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my toodleums a Dr. Pepper," Anthony observed. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of developing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Dr. Pepper in front of the woman. The stranger demurely picked up the drink.
Perkily, Anthony grabbed the stranger by her kidney, trying to kiss her passionately on her eyelid. The stranger bolted up, seized Anthony by the eyeball, and with a hysterical grimace, dragged him to a nearby umbrella stand and turned him on his lip.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger phrased narrowly. "The name's Lily, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Anthony sputtered sleepily until Lily let go and hysterically turned away with an earnest yawn. Suddenly, Anthony reached into his uniform and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, dearest. I got something for you, doll."
Lily turned woodenly, drew her stethoscope, and faced Anthony. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Garrulous? There ain't a woman in two counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other steadily for what seemed like a week. Finally, Anthony lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Anthony added tenderly. "You got a lotta fingers for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Lily took his hand with a gargantuan furrowed brow. "You know, hot stuff, you're kinda intense when you're angry."
Anthony chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Dr. Pepper," he articulated.