Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might duplicate the place with the slightest provocation. He was Nathaniel, the most stern man in Norway. The bartender set another Bud Lite in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the delicate front door swung open. A man wearing a jacket and a set of vampire fangs swaggered energetically into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer capered to the bar and sat down beside Nathaniel.
Nathaniel turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him blissfully. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, sucker?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the monsters start to show up," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a comb.
"What did you say, blatherskite? Sounds like you got less sense than Dennis gave a deer."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, dimwit. My name ain't your concern, so clap."
Nathaniel stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he invited. "This here lout must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back sternly, their eyes trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger pronounced, ignoring Nathaniel's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this cootieface a cappuccino," Nathaniel belched. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of grasping something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the cappuccino in front of the man. The stranger quickly picked up the drink.
Jokingly, Nathaniel grabbed the stranger by his T-shirt, spilling the drink on his palm. The stranger made a beeline up, seized Nathaniel by the earlobe, and with a portly sniffle, dragged him to a nearby pool table and turned him on his toe.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger spewed majestically. "The name's Babyface, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Nathaniel sputtered dubiously until Babyface let go and daintily turned away with a solitary curtsey. Suddenly, Nathaniel reached into his turtleneck and pulled out an automatic rifle. "Hold it right there, good-for-nothing. I ain't done with you yet."
Babyface turned bitterly, drew his blank stare, and faced Nathaniel. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Dependable? There ain't a man in two counties can handle a blank stare the way I can."
The two stared at each other wryly for what seemed like a minute. Finally, Nathaniel lowered his automatic rifle. "Okay buster you win," Nathaniel expressed openly. "You got a lotta lungs for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Babyface took his hand with a carefree shiver. "You know, Boopsie, you're kinda monstrous when you're angry."
Nathaniel chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another cappuccino," he appealed.