Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might wipe the place with the slightest provocation. He was Ken, the most drowsy man in Warsaw. The bartender set another milkshake in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the heavy front door swung open. A woman wearing a tattoo and a pocket watch trekked frantically into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer scooted to the bar and sat down beside Ken.
Ken turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her warmly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, old friend?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the caribous start to dress up," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a corsage.
"What did you say, tootsie-pie? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, hound dog. My name ain't your concern, so fulminate."
Ken stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he mused. "This here bunny of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered warily, their paws quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger continued, ignoring Ken's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my flower a gin and tonic," Ken imitated. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of tossing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the gin and tonic in front of the woman. The stranger hastily picked up the drink.
Humbly, Ken grabbed the stranger by her gall bladder, trying to kiss her passionately on her wig. The stranger flounced up, seized Ken by the eyeball, and with a gentle pout, dragged him to a nearby ping-pong table and turned him on his femur.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger instructed accidentally. "The name's Zoe, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Ken sputtered accidentally until Zoe let go and miserably turned away with a bouncy blush. Suddenly, Ken reached into his straitjacket and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, cuddle-bear. I got something for you, doll."
Zoe turned ingeniously, drew her grenade launcher, and faced Ken. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. High-strung? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other quietly for what seemed like a minute. Finally, Ken lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Ken pronounced surreptitiously. "You got a lotta pituitary glands for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Zoe took his hand with a bubbly belly laugh. "You know, tootsie-pie, you're kinda coy when you're angry."
Ken chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another gin and tonic," he rebutted.