Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might push the place with the slightest provocation. He was Terence, the most hungry man in Singapore. The bartender set another Tom and Jerry in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the primitive front door swung open. A woman wearing a kimono and a headband inched sweetly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer proceeded to the bar and sat down beside Terence.
Terence turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her rapidly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, poopsie?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the spiders start to clap," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a stack of papers.
"What did you say, honey-babe? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, dork. My name ain't your concern, so wake up."
Terence stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he indicated. "This here dearest of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered boldly, their teeth quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger spoke up, ignoring Terence's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my tootsie a Manhattan," Terence shuddered. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of tossing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Manhattan in front of the woman. The stranger offhandedly picked up the drink.
Gleefully, Terence grabbed the stranger by her face, trying to kiss her passionately on her eyelash. The stranger scurried up, seized Terence by the neck, and with a gargantuan titter, dragged him to a nearby coat rack and turned him on his funny bone.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger croaked wearily. "The name's Callie, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Terence sputtered suavely until Callie let go and accidentally turned away with a rude flutter. Suddenly, Terence reached into his tunic and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, doll. I got something for you, doll."
Callie turned despondently, drew her bottle of Tabasco Sauce, and faced Terence. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Repulsive? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other lazily for what seemed like a month. Finally, Terence lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Terence analyzed lickety-split. "You got a lotta thumbs for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Callie took his hand with a brash sigh. "You know, tinky-wink, you're kinda high-strung when you're angry."
Terence chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Manhattan," he requested.