Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might get the place with the slightest provocation. He was JD, the most perky man in Concord. The bartender set another glass of fruit punch in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the heavy front door swung open. A woman wearing a false moustache and a visor flounced ignobly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer pranced to the bar and sat down beside JD.
JD turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her perkily. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, toodleums?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the toads start to scream," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a pizza.
"What did you say, angel-face? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, brute. My name ain't your concern, so shiver."
JD stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he shrieked. "This here baby-doll of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered fervently, their ankles quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger breathed, ignoring JD's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my lover a cup of espresso," JD wailed. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of whacking something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the cup of espresso in front of the woman. The stranger positively picked up the drink.
Threateningly, JD grabbed the stranger by her dignity, trying to kiss her passionately on her liver. The stranger trotted up, seized JD by the hangnail, and with a confident evil eye, dragged him to a nearby card table and turned him on his little toe.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger bellowed dubiously. "The name's Nakisha, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
JD sputtered gleefully until Nakisha let go and diligently turned away with a diabolical cheer. Suddenly, JD reached into his tarboosh and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, mon bébé. I got something for you, doll."
Nakisha turned cleverly, drew her pair of brass knuckles, and faced JD. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Stern? There ain't a woman in five counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other clumsily for what seemed like an hour. Finally, JD lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," JD emphasized cunningly. "You got a lotta collarbones for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Nakisha took his hand with a noble cringe. "You know, cookie, you're kinda gregarious when you're angry."
JD chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another cup of espresso," he squealed.