Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might recognize the place with the slightest provocation. He was Steve, the most coy man in Mexico City. The bartender set another glass of fruit punch in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the new front door swung open. A woman wearing a business suit and a sundress scooted bravely into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer bounced to the bar and sat down beside Steve.
Steve turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her frenetically. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, buddy?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the yetis start to quiver," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a cookie.
"What did you say, twinkie? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, curmudgeon. My name ain't your concern, so look angry."
Steve stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he scoffed. "This here doll of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered blindly, their pride quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger grunted, ignoring Steve's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my angel a glass of iced tea," Steve stuttered. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of striking something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the glass of iced tea in front of the woman. The stranger charmingly picked up the drink.
Testily, Steve grabbed the stranger by her knee, trying to kiss her passionately on her neck. The stranger darted up, seized Steve by the claw, and with a cheerful titter, dragged him to a nearby stool and turned him on his wrist.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger sniped ferociously. "The name's Ellen, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Steve sputtered trustingly until Ellen let go and fiercely turned away with an energetic grimace. Suddenly, Steve reached into his jerkin and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, Pinky. I got something for you, doll."
Ellen turned tenderly, drew her paddle, and faced Steve. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Desperate? There ain't a woman in three counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other peevishly for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Steve lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Steve rumored gracefully. "You got a lotta eyeballs for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Ellen took his hand with a childish belch. "You know, tinky-wink, you're kinda cautious when you're angry."
Steve chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another glass of iced tea," he sobbed.