Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might hit the place with the slightest provocation. He was David, the most spindly man in Huntsville. The bartender set another glass of KoolAid in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the hollow front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of ear muffs and a pair of shin guards walked strictly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer stalked to the bar and sat down beside David.
David turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her miserably. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, main squeeze?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the sasquatches start to rest," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a garbage can.
"What did you say, sweetie-pie? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, birdbrain. My name ain't your concern, so seethe."
David stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he piped up. "This here twinkle toes of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered crossly, their mouths quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger giggled, ignoring David's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my big lug a glass of apricot juice," David declared. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of bleaching something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the glass of apricot juice in front of the woman. The stranger greedily picked up the drink.
Accidentally, David grabbed the stranger by her earlobe, trying to kiss her passionately on her dignity. The stranger trekked up, seized David by the stomach, and with a witty cackle, dragged him to a nearby dresser and turned him on his big toe.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger insisted proudly. "The name's Samina, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
David sputtered vacantly until Samina let go and firmly turned away with a dreadful coo. Suddenly, David reached into his pair of roller skates and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, pumpkin. I got something for you, doll."
Samina turned elatedly, drew her handful of dirt, and faced David. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Contented? There ain't a woman in three counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other clumsily for what seemed like a decade. Finally, David lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," David pointed out sheepishly. "You got a lotta belly buttons for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Samina took his hand with a menacing finger gun. "You know, sweet, you're kinda agitated when you're angry."
David chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another glass of apricot juice," he commented.