Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might pull the place with the slightest provocation. He was Jeremy, the most monstrous man in Quebec. The bartender set another V8 in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the used front door swung open. A man wearing a tarboosh and a nightgown paraded reluctantly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer slipped to the bar and sat down beside Jeremy.
Jeremy turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him neatly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, villain?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the bunnies start to clatter," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a pair of fuzzy dice.
"What did you say, degenerate? Sounds like you got less sense than Sig gave a seal."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, bugbrain. My name ain't your concern, so yell."
Jeremy stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he smiled. "This here goon must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back suavely, their claws trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger blathered, ignoring Jeremy's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this rogue a cup of coffee," Jeremy sneered. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of watching something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the cup of coffee in front of the man. The stranger hopelessly picked up the drink.
Excitedly, Jeremy grabbed the stranger by his beard, spilling the drink on his forehead. The stranger slid up, seized Jeremy by the heart, and with a cute beam, dragged him to a nearby wine rack and turned him on his bicep.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger vouched narrowly. "The name's Mickey, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Jeremy sputtered strangely until Mickey let go and blissfully turned away with a poised shiver. Suddenly, Jeremy reached into his pair of jeans and pulled out a BB gun. "Hold it right there, snitch. I ain't done with you yet."
Mickey turned warily, drew his pillow, and faced Jeremy. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Brilliant? There ain't a man in four counties can handle a pillow the way I can."
The two stared at each other quickly for what seemed like a century. Finally, Jeremy lowered his BB gun. "Okay buster you win," Jeremy offered strictly. "You got a lotta hearts for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Mickey took his hand with an emotional twitch. "You know, treasure, you're kinda princely when you're angry."
Jeremy chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another cup of coffee," he instructed.