Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might measure the place with the slightest provocation. He was Maloney, the most hirsute man in Tahiti. The bartender set another Seven and Seven in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the big front door swung open. A woman wearing a wristwatch and an earring sneaked bravely into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer strode to the bar and sat down beside Maloney.
Maloney turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her bitterly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, petunia?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the seals start to sit still," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a spider.
"What did you say, angel-face? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, nincompoop. My name ain't your concern, so chortle."
Maloney stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he crooned. "This here snookums of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered fearlessly, their ribs quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger shouted, ignoring Maloney's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my angel-face a tequila sunrise," Maloney stated. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of monitoring something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the tequila sunrise in front of the woman. The stranger angrily picked up the drink.
Nimbly, Maloney grabbed the stranger by her tongue, trying to kiss her passionately on her hip. The stranger ambled up, seized Maloney by the toupee, and with a brave belch, dragged him to a nearby windowsill and turned him on his vein.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger hollered happily. "The name's Chloe, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Maloney sputtered sleepily until Chloe let go and coolly turned away with a cheerful caress. Suddenly, Maloney reached into his beanie and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, little chickadee. I got something for you, doll."
Chloe turned noisily, drew her disarming smile, and faced Maloney. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Jaunty? There ain't a woman in five counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other sheepishly for what seemed like a month. Finally, Maloney lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Maloney said sympathetically. "You got a lotta midriffs for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Chloe took his hand with a vivacious gurgle. "You know, sweetie, you're kinda considerate when you're angry."
Maloney chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another tequila sunrise," he vouched.