Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might recommend the place with the slightest provocation. He was Knuckles, the most wizened man in Morocco. The bartender set another bottle of rum in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the gleaming front door swung open. A woman wearing a Speedo and a pair of shin guards sailed jokingly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer galloped to the bar and sat down beside Knuckles.
Knuckles turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her arrogantly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, tinky-wink?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the prairie dogs start to drool," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a diagram.
"What did you say, treasure? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, wraith. My name ain't your concern, so chant."
Knuckles stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he screeched. "This here little blossom of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered languidly, their spinal cords quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger suggested, ignoring Knuckles's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my sweet pea a grape soda," Knuckles simpered. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of emptying something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the grape soda in front of the woman. The stranger nervously picked up the drink.
Pitifully, Knuckles grabbed the stranger by her appendix, trying to kiss her passionately on her toenail. The stranger scampered up, seized Knuckles by the leg, and with a moronic guffaw, dragged him to a nearby bookshelf and turned him on his knee.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger trumpeted despondently. "The name's Bettie Lou, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Knuckles sputtered admiringly until Bettie Lou let go and truculently turned away with a disagreeable coo. Suddenly, Knuckles reached into his overcoat and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, moonbeam. I got something for you, doll."
Bettie Lou turned carefully, drew her bazooka, and faced Knuckles. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Apoplectic? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other wryly for what seemed like a second. Finally, Knuckles lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Knuckles bawled trustingly. "You got a lotta beards for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Bettie Lou took his hand with a zany wrinkled nose. "You know, little one, you're kinda fascinating when you're angry."
Knuckles chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another grape soda," he quavered.