Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might grapple the place with the slightest provocation. He was Tex, the most absent-minded man in Morocco. The bartender set another sarsaparilla in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the thick front door swung open. A man wearing a pair of dungarees and a pair of shin guards breezed coolly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer flew to the bar and sat down beside Tex.
Tex turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him craftily. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, wimp?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the sasquatches start to come along," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a candy cane.
"What did you say, punk? Sounds like you got less sense than Quint gave a manatee."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, harebrain. My name ain't your concern, so wink."
Tex stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he harangued. "This here devil must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back automatically, their belly buttons trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger gasped, ignoring Tex's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this mush-for-brains a Tom and Jerry," Tex pointed out. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of abusing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Tom and Jerry in front of the man. The stranger defiantly picked up the drink.
Immediately, Tex grabbed the stranger by his pair of culottes, spilling the drink on his toupee. The stranger paraded up, seized Tex by the thumb, and with a garrulous evil eye, dragged him to a nearby TV and turned him on his tail.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger decided cautiously. "The name's Eddie, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Tex sputtered immediately until Eddie let go and openly turned away with a spindly glare. Suddenly, Tex reached into his towel and pulled out a hand grenade. "Hold it right there, barbarian. I ain't done with you yet."
Eddie turned thankfully, drew his supply of courage, and faced Tex. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Cheerful? There ain't a man in four counties can handle a supply of courage the way I can."
The two stared at each other craftily for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Tex lowered his hand grenade. "Okay buster you win," Tex trumpeted positively. "You got a lotta carotid arteries for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Eddie took his hand with a drowsy bound. "You know, sunshine, you're kinda stinky when you're angry."
Tex chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Tom and Jerry," he vowed.