Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might lose the place with the slightest provocation. He was Devlin, the most sleepy man in Monaco. The bartender set another cup of cocoa in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the hollow front door swung open. A woman wearing a headscarf and a scarf made a beeline nimbly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer bounced to the bar and sat down beside Devlin.
Devlin turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her awkwardly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, queenie?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the sasquatches start to blush," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a fossil.
"What did you say, cutie-patootie? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, lamebrain. My name ain't your concern, so sniff."
Devlin stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he gasped. "This here Banana Cakes of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered softly, their midriffs quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger mumbled, ignoring Devlin's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my dearest a double latte," Devlin questioned. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of archiving something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the double latte in front of the woman. The stranger coolly picked up the drink.
Frantically, Devlin grabbed the stranger by her hair, trying to kiss her passionately on her shoulder. The stranger tiptoed up, seized Devlin by the claw, and with a megalomaniacal beam, dragged him to a nearby dresser and turned him on his midriff.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger sputtered merrily. "The name's Tina, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Devlin sputtered mysteriously until Tina let go and languidly turned away with a sloppy belch. Suddenly, Devlin reached into his black armband and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, hot stuff. I got something for you, doll."
Tina turned slowly, drew her can of spray paint, and faced Devlin. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Noxious? There ain't a woman in three counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other majestically for what seemed like an hour. Finally, Devlin lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Devlin phrased obediently. "You got a lotta funny bones for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Tina took his hand with a solitary hoot. "You know, dearie, you're kinda fearful when you're angry."
Devlin chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another double latte," he articulated.