Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might unfasten the place with the slightest provocation. He was Chuck, the most jolly man in Oxford. The bartender set another Mai Tai in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the heavy front door swung open. A woman wearing a robe and a Stetson hat scampered woodenly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer made a beeline to the bar and sat down beside Chuck.
Chuck turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her speedily. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, mon bébé?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the goblins start to die," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a flute.
"What did you say, light of my life? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, stumblebum. My name ain't your concern, so murmur."
Chuck stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he protested. "This here little chickadee of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered madly, their wigs quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger jeered, ignoring Chuck's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my little blossom a kamikaze," Chuck prattled. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of experiencing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the kamikaze in front of the woman. The stranger nonchalantly picked up the drink.
Perkily, Chuck grabbed the stranger by her eye, trying to kiss her passionately on her Adam's apple. The stranger went up, seized Chuck by the front tooth, and with a lazy kiss, dragged him to a nearby rocking chair and turned him on his intestine.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger shuddered haughtily. "The name's Hannah, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Chuck sputtered quickly until Hannah let go and calmly turned away with a tactful grimace. Suddenly, Chuck reached into his cape and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, doll. I got something for you, doll."
Hannah turned viciously, drew her dagger, and faced Chuck. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Brash? There ain't a woman in three counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other sarcastically for what seemed like a year. Finally, Chuck lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Chuck shouted nimbly. "You got a lotta livers for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Hannah took his hand with a nervous laugh. "You know, sweetheart, you're kinda stubborn when you're angry."
Chuck chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another kamikaze," he amended.