Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might shred the place with the slightest provocation. He was Nickolas, the most mournful man in Sapporo. The bartender set another margarita in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the stiff front door swung open. A woman wearing a turtleneck and a set of football pads zoomed elatedly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer darted to the bar and sat down beside Nickolas.
Nickolas turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her oddly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, twinkle toes?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the groundhogs start to mumble," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a pair of binoculars.
"What did you say, cuddle-bear? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, bumpkin. My name ain't your concern, so gasp."
Nickolas stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he boasted. "This here honey bunch of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered accidentally, their knees quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger boasted, ignoring Nickolas's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my babe a Bud Lite," Nickolas wept. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of expanding something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Bud Lite in front of the woman. The stranger hungrily picked up the drink.
Humbly, Nickolas grabbed the stranger by her thumb, trying to kiss her passionately on her thyroid gland. The stranger bounced up, seized Nickolas by the back, and with a self-assured stiff upper lip, dragged him to a nearby buffet and turned him on his toe.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger snorted delicately. "The name's Daisy, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Nickolas sputtered hopefully until Daisy let go and needlessly turned away with a suave sniffle. Suddenly, Nickolas reached into his pair of Bermuda shorts and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, baby. I got something for you, doll."
Daisy turned furiously, drew her Millwall brick, and faced Nickolas. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Jaunty? There ain't a woman in three counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other fearfully for what seemed like a fortnight. Finally, Nickolas lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Nickolas chattered lovingly. "You got a lotta fingers for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Daisy took his hand with an impish flinch. "You know, cupcake, you're kinda thoughtful when you're angry."
Nickolas chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Bud Lite," he expressed.