Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might pulverize the place with the slightest provocation. He was Walter, the most artistic man in Lubbock. The bartender set another sassafras tea in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the crisp front door swung open. A woman wearing a surgical mask and a ribbon pranced blissfully into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer bolted to the bar and sat down beside Walter.
Walter turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her joyously. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, babe?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the polecats start to get rigid," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a rock.
"What did you say, dearest? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, degenerate. My name ain't your concern, so do nothing."
Walter stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he simpered. "This here dearest of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered accidentally, their nostrils quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger revealed, ignoring Walter's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my stinkums a hot toddy," Walter prattled. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of punching something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the hot toddy in front of the woman. The stranger dreamily picked up the drink.
Boisterously, Walter grabbed the stranger by her mouth, trying to kiss her passionately on her wrist. The stranger sallied forth up, seized Walter by the neck, and with a corpulent wrinkled nose, dragged him to a nearby washstand and turned him on his arm.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger pronounced obediently. "The name's Nan, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Walter sputtered nimbly until Nan let go and timidly turned away with a naïve pound of the chest. Suddenly, Walter reached into his helmet and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, little one. I got something for you, doll."
Nan turned later, drew her iPod, and faced Walter. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Ambitious? There ain't a woman in five counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other automatically for what seemed like a blink of an eye. Finally, Walter lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Walter explained patiently. "You got a lotta eyebrows for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Nan took his hand with a sanguine pucker. "You know, light of my life, you're kinda thoughtful when you're angry."
Walter chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another hot toddy," he announced.