Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might strengthen the place with the slightest provocation. He was Rover, the most crafty man in Egypt. The bartender set another Alka-Seltzer in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the petite front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of Groucho glasses and a belly button jewel flounced offhandedly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer marched to the bar and sat down beside Rover.
Rover turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her openly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, dovey-poo?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the crows start to digest," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a Frisbee.
"What did you say, dear heart? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, traitor. My name ain't your concern, so back up."
Rover stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he offered. "This here old friend of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered fiercely, their pinkies quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger squeaked, ignoring Rover's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my dreamboat a shot of bourbon," Rover mentioned. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of shortening something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the shot of bourbon in front of the woman. The stranger humbly picked up the drink.
Effortlessly, Rover grabbed the stranger by her spinal cord, trying to kiss her passionately on her foot. The stranger hobbled up, seized Rover by the eye, and with a furious chuckle, dragged him to a nearby overstuffed chair and turned him on his appendix.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger boasted irritably. "The name's Clio, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Rover sputtered cruelly until Clio let go and sadly turned away with a slimy sneer. Suddenly, Rover reached into his tool belt and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, home boy. I got something for you, doll."
Clio turned busily, drew her syringe, and faced Rover. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Generous? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other nicely for what seemed like a blink of an eye. Finally, Rover lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Rover warbled narrowly. "You got a lotta carotid arteries for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Clio took his hand with a maniacal hoot. "You know, beloved, you're kinda freakish when you're angry."
Rover chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another shot of bourbon," he barked.