Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might crush the place with the slightest provocation. He was Draco, the most atrocious man in Micronesia. The bartender set another cappuccino in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the crisp front door swung open. A man wearing a tunic and a bicycle helmet scurried crankily into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer marched to the bar and sat down beside Draco.
Draco turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him oddly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, clapperdudgeon?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the polar bears start to wail," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a battery.
"What did you say, donkey? Sounds like you got less sense than Bix gave a mountain goat."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, imposter. My name ain't your concern, so growl."
Draco stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he whimpered. "This here nitwit must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back dolefully, their spinal cords trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger moaned, ignoring Draco's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this dirty dog a cup of hot cider," Draco realized. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of distorting something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the cup of hot cider in front of the man. The stranger boldly picked up the drink.
Elatedly, Draco grabbed the stranger by his rain coat, spilling the drink on his eyelid. The stranger rushed up, seized Draco by the lip, and with a fearful jeer, dragged him to a nearby stool and turned him on his mouth.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger repeated needlessly. "The name's Rico, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Draco sputtered strictly until Rico let go and daringly turned away with a moronic smirk. Suddenly, Draco reached into his bib and pulled out a squirt gun. "Hold it right there, blackguard. I ain't done with you yet."
Rico turned woodenly, drew his Taser, and faced Draco. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Intrepid? There ain't a man in six counties can handle a Taser the way I can."
The two stared at each other happily for what seemed like a blink of an eye. Finally, Draco lowered his squirt gun. "Okay buster you win," Draco spewed curiously. "You got a lotta paws for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Rico took his hand with a big pout. "You know, doodlebug, you're kinda dumb when you're angry."
Draco chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another cup of hot cider," he mentioned.