Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might copy the place with the slightest provocation. He was Giovanni, the most nonchalant man in Delaware. The bartender set another cup of eggnog in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the excellent front door swung open. A man wearing a bikini and a blazer sauntered obediently into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer dashed to the bar and sat down beside Giovanni.
Giovanni turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him hastily. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, hothead?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the sheep start to catch up," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a flowerpot.
"What did you say, turkey? Sounds like you got less sense than Christian gave a alligator."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, brute. My name ain't your concern, so come to."
Giovanni stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he yowled. "This here bandicoot must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back curiously, their throats trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger sobbed, ignoring Giovanni's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this punk a piña colada," Giovanni expressed. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of mending something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the piña colada in front of the man. The stranger dolefully picked up the drink.
Sleepily, Giovanni grabbed the stranger by his fig leaf, spilling the drink on his lung. The stranger waltzed up, seized Giovanni by the thigh, and with a carefree jeer, dragged him to a nearby wine rack and turned him on his liver.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger purred positively. "The name's Flash, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Giovanni sputtered cruelly until Flash let go and unexpectedly turned away with a precocious woof. Suddenly, Giovanni reached into his pair of Oxfords and pulled out a tennis racket. "Hold it right there, fathead. I ain't done with you yet."
Flash turned roughly, drew his insult, and faced Giovanni. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Naïve? There ain't a man in six counties can handle an insult the way I can."
The two stared at each other crazily for what seemed like a day. Finally, Giovanni lowered his tennis racket. "Okay buster you win," Giovanni murmured uneasily. "You got a lotta earlobes for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Flash took his hand with a pigeon-toed smack. "You know, sparky, you're kinda stubborn when you're angry."
Giovanni chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another piña colada," he protested.