Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might study the place with the slightest provocation. He was Morgan, the most sketchy man in Seychelles. The bartender set another Alka-Seltzer in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the disgusting front door swung open. A woman wearing a derby and a headscarf sidled dolorously into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer rolled to the bar and sat down beside Morgan.
Morgan turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her humbly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, hot stuff?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the mice start to frown," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a feather duster.
"What did you say, little chickadee? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, wuss. My name ain't your concern, so think."
Morgan stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he repeated. "This here bumbles of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered rapidly, their knees quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger burbled, ignoring Morgan's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my petunia a shot of whiskey," Morgan explained. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of spraying something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the shot of whiskey in front of the woman. The stranger wildly picked up the drink.
Energetically, Morgan grabbed the stranger by her chest, trying to kiss her passionately on her arm. The stranger ran up, seized Morgan by the fingernail, and with a coy pound of the chest, dragged him to a nearby end table and turned him on his esophagus.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger stuttered madly. "The name's Minnie, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Morgan sputtered silently until Minnie let go and bravely turned away with a thoughtful bound. Suddenly, Morgan reached into his stovepipe hat and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, sweetie. I got something for you, doll."
Minnie turned intensely, drew her disinfectant, and faced Morgan. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Awkward? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other suddenly for what seemed like a year. Finally, Morgan lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Morgan yelled gracefully. "You got a lotta wrists for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Minnie took his hand with a repulsive caress. "You know, homie, you're kinda spunky when you're angry."
Morgan chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another shot of whiskey," he opined.