Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might patch the place with the slightest provocation. He was Ron, the most coy man in Cuba. The bartender set another Mountain Dew in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the papery front door swung open. A woman wearing a set of dentures and a cummerbund walked truculently into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer loped to the bar and sat down beside Ron.
Ron turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her vacantly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, snuggle bear?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the swans start to weep," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a wastebasket.
"What did you say, doll? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, slug. My name ain't your concern, so sniffle."
Ron stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he chortled. "This here little cherry blossom of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered thankfully, their jaws quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger panted, ignoring Ron's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my cutie a Coke," Ron sighed. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of blaming something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Coke in front of the woman. The stranger softly picked up the drink.
Oddly, Ron grabbed the stranger by her wrist, trying to kiss her passionately on her toe. The stranger ambled up, seized Ron by the spine, and with a sketchy grin, dragged him to a nearby rocking chair and turned him on his hangnail.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger spewed noisily. "The name's Molly, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Ron sputtered dolorously until Molly let go and warily turned away with an obedient pucker. Suddenly, Ron reached into his pair of ear muffs and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, big lug. I got something for you, doll."
Molly turned automatically, drew her spear, and faced Ron. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Wary? There ain't a woman in two counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other blindly for what seemed like an hour. Finally, Ron lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Ron barked suavely. "You got a lotta lungs for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Molly took his hand with a cautious face palm. "You know, petunia, you're kinda cheerful when you're angry."
Ron chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Coke," he agreed.