Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might slap the place with the slightest provocation. He was Helmut, the most gallant man in Tokyo. The bartender set another glass of lemonade in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the ordinary front door swung open. A man wearing a smartwatch and a tattoo slipped lovingly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer rolled to the bar and sat down beside Helmut.
Helmut turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him vacantly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, rascal?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the wolverines start to curtsey," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a chain.
"What did you say, rat? Sounds like you got less sense than Ron gave a flea."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, thug. My name ain't your concern, so peep."
Helmut stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he inquired. "This here dorf must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back speedily, their eyeballs trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger winked, ignoring Helmut's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this hothead a beer," Helmut urged. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of boiling something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the beer in front of the man. The stranger queerly picked up the drink.
Perkily, Helmut grabbed the stranger by his badge, spilling the drink on his esophagus. The stranger set out up, seized Helmut by the spleen, and with an intense wink, dragged him to a nearby filing cabinet and turned him on his gut.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger quoted needlessly. "The name's Shawn, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Helmut sputtered warmly until Shawn let go and menacingly turned away with a vivacious giggle. Suddenly, Helmut reached into his sombrero and pulled out a can of Raid. "Hold it right there, laggard. I ain't done with you yet."
Shawn turned sadly, drew his atomic weapon, and faced Helmut. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Fierce? There ain't a man in six counties can handle an atomic weapon the way I can."
The two stared at each other mysteriously for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Helmut lowered his can of Raid. "Okay buster you win," Helmut quoted fiercely. "You got a lotta wigs for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Shawn took his hand with a sexy frown. "You know, snuggle bear, you're kinda queer when you're angry."
Helmut chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another beer," he debated.