Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might prohibit the place with the slightest provocation. He was Corbin, the most bold man in Zimbabwe. The bartender set another whiskey in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the leather front door swung open. A woman wearing a bolo tie and a gladiator helmet dashed sleepily into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer galumphed to the bar and sat down beside Corbin.
Corbin turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her greedily. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, beefcake?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the lovebirds start to blank out," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a clarinet.
"What did you say, apple of my eye? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, beast. My name ain't your concern, so lie down."
Corbin stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he imitated. "This here doll of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered brashly, their scalps quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger panted, ignoring Corbin's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my flower a glass of water," Corbin sniveled. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of reconsidering something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the glass of water in front of the woman. The stranger despondently picked up the drink.
Fondly, Corbin grabbed the stranger by her foot, trying to kiss her passionately on her carotid artery. The stranger galloped up, seized Corbin by the forehead, and with a garrulous pound of the chest, dragged him to a nearby rocking chair and turned him on his kidney.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger laughed cruelly. "The name's Jackie, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Corbin sputtered silently until Jackie let go and truculently turned away with a wily honk. Suddenly, Corbin reached into his coonskin hat and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, stinkums. I got something for you, doll."
Jackie turned caustically, drew her rattlesnake, and faced Corbin. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Depraved? There ain't a woman in two counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other dolorously for what seemed like a decade. Finally, Corbin lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Corbin mouthed fearlessly. "You got a lotta gall bladders for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Jackie took his hand with a lethargic flutter. "You know, baby, you're kinda generous when you're angry."
Corbin chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another glass of water," he agreed.