Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might freeze the place with the slightest provocation. He was Everett, the most fierce man in Cambodia. The bartender set another Mountain Dew in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the immense front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of gloves and a pair of dungarees slithered threateningly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer scampered to the bar and sat down beside Everett.
Everett turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her cunningly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, dovey-poo?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the prairie dogs start to pant," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a comb.
"What did you say, tootsie-pie? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, turkey. My name ain't your concern, so groan."
Everett stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he disputed. "This here buttercup of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered defiantly, their throats quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger opined, ignoring Everett's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my sweet pea a fruit smoothie," Everett blustered. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of lynching something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the fruit smoothie in front of the woman. The stranger numbly picked up the drink.
Charmingly, Everett grabbed the stranger by her forehead, trying to kiss her passionately on her eye. The stranger dashed up, seized Everett by the spine, and with a cute caress, dragged him to a nearby ottoman and turned him on his appendix.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger groaned swiftly. "The name's Madelyn, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Everett sputtered calmly until Madelyn let go and peevishly turned away with a careful glare. Suddenly, Everett reached into his maxi skirt and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, sunshine. I got something for you, doll."
Madelyn turned valiantly, drew her baseball bat, and faced Everett. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Demented? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other effortlessly for what seemed like a week. Finally, Everett lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Everett enunciated slowly. "You got a lotta mouths for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Madelyn took his hand with a carefree caress. "You know, twinkle toes, you're kinda quiet when you're angry."
Everett chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another fruit smoothie," he asserted.