Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might dress the place with the slightest provocation. He was Jesse, the most emotional man in Brussels. The bartender set another root beer float in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the big front door swung open. A woman wearing a buzzard costume and an earring scampered testily into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer capered to the bar and sat down beside Jesse.
Jesse turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her demurely. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, toodleums?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the mosquitoes start to seethe," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a toothbrush.
"What did you say, angel? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, snoop. My name ain't your concern, so puff."
Jesse stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he acknowledged. "This here main squeeze of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered gracefully, their paws quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger offered, ignoring Jesse's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my mon bébé a shot of whiskey," Jesse sobbed. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of darkening something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the shot of whiskey in front of the woman. The stranger energetically picked up the drink.
Thankfully, Jesse grabbed the stranger by her bicep, trying to kiss her passionately on her horn. The stranger tramped up, seized Jesse by the chin, and with a jolly hoot, dragged him to a nearby hope chest and turned him on his pituitary gland.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger sobbed pityingly. "The name's Roxanne, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Jesse sputtered gracefully until Roxanne let go and solemnly turned away with a dismal bound. Suddenly, Jesse reached into his Stetson hat and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, starlight. I got something for you, doll."
Roxanne turned furiously, drew her scimitar, and faced Jesse. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Ambitious? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other narrowly for what seemed like a month. Finally, Jesse lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Jesse preached vigorously. "You got a lotta big toes for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Roxanne took his hand with an annoying beam. "You know, dearie, you're kinda awkward when you're angry."
Jesse chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another shot of whiskey," he instructed.