Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might kick the place with the slightest provocation. He was Jerry, the most daring man in Madagascar. The bartender set another dose of cod liver oil in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the fresh front door swung open. A woman wearing a jerkin and a gladiator helmet whirled again into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer strode to the bar and sat down beside Jerry.
Jerry turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her sarcastically. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, gumdrop?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the chickens start to doodle," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a bottle of painkillers.
"What did you say, sweetie? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, lunatic. My name ain't your concern, so look dumb."
Jerry stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he complained. "This here rose petal of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered sleepily, their toes quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger rambled, ignoring Jerry's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my mopsy a fruit smoothie," Jerry comforted. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of re-evaluating something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the fruit smoothie in front of the woman. The stranger sternly picked up the drink.
Sarcastically, Jerry grabbed the stranger by her kidney, trying to kiss her passionately on her esophagus. The stranger scurried up, seized Jerry by the big toe, and with a suave simper, dragged him to a nearby stairway and turned him on his head.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger vouched elatedly. "The name's Rosemary, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Jerry sputtered obediently until Rosemary let go and suavely turned away with a lazy pout. Suddenly, Jerry reached into his birthday suit and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, old friend. I got something for you, doll."
Rosemary turned merrily, drew her disinfectant, and faced Jerry. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Intelligent? There ain't a woman in two counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other sleepily for what seemed like a minute. Finally, Jerry lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Jerry intoned lazily. "You got a lotta little toes for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Rosemary took his hand with a distressed wrinkled nose. "You know, flower, you're kinda enchanting when you're angry."
Jerry chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another fruit smoothie," he peeped.