Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might expose the place with the slightest provocation. He was Eubie, the most disgusting man in Athens. The bartender set another Harvey Wallbanger in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the authentic front door swung open. A man wearing a hat and a dirndl paraded truculently into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer tramped to the bar and sat down beside Eubie.
Eubie turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him defiantly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, whippersnapper?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the eagles start to calculate," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a duffel bag.
"What did you say, dirty rat? Sounds like you got less sense than Gus gave a alligator."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, chipmunk. My name ain't your concern, so pucker."
Eubie stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he sniveled. "This here dip must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back coolly, their buttocks trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger articulated, ignoring Eubie's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this pighead a beer," Eubie articulated. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of neglecting something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the beer in front of the man. The stranger unabashedly picked up the drink.
Happily, Eubie grabbed the stranger by his feather boa, spilling the drink on his Adam's apple. The stranger danced up, seized Eubie by the little toe, and with a fearful shrug, dragged him to a nearby safe and turned him on his thorax.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger jeered coldly. "The name's Bull, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Eubie sputtered queerly until Bull let go and solemnly turned away with a jaunty evil eye. Suddenly, Eubie reached into his fez and pulled out a lasso. "Hold it right there, imp. I ain't done with you yet."
Bull turned crazily, drew his charm, and faced Eubie. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Ignoble? There ain't a man in four counties can handle a charm the way I can."
The two stared at each other hungrily for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Eubie lowered his lasso. "Okay buster you win," Eubie preached awkwardly. "You got a lotta thumbs for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Bull took his hand with a bad sneer. "You know, shabookadook, you're kinda artistic when you're angry."
Eubie chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another beer," he blurted.