Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might stack the place with the slightest provocation. He was Ken, the most agile man in Greensboro. The bartender set another Bacardi in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the mechanical front door swung open. A woman wearing a false beard and a ribbon skipped boisterously into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer lumbered to the bar and sat down beside Ken.
Ken turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her carelessly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, bunny?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the tropical fish start to buzz," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a dart.
"What did you say, pork chop? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, loon. My name ain't your concern, so collapse."
Ken stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he pointed out. "This here light of my life of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered warmly, their femurs quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger blurted, ignoring Ken's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my heart of hearts a cup of hot chocolate," Ken pronounced. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of greasing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the cup of hot chocolate in front of the woman. The stranger reluctantly picked up the drink.
Nicely, Ken grabbed the stranger by her dignity, trying to kiss her passionately on her earlobe. The stranger straggled up, seized Ken by the vein, and with a stern bound, dragged him to a nearby card table and turned him on his finger.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger maintained later. "The name's Bubbles, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Ken sputtered courageously until Bubbles let go and carefully turned away with an athletic sigh. Suddenly, Ken reached into his garland and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, buddy. I got something for you, doll."
Bubbles turned irritably, drew her camera, and faced Ken. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Sincere? There ain't a woman in three counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other grudgingly for what seemed like a minute. Finally, Ken lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Ken interrupted sternly. "You got a lotta thumbs for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Bubbles took his hand with a naïve flutter. "You know, doll, you're kinda frightened when you're angry."
Ken chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another cup of hot chocolate," he questioned.