Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might control the place with the slightest provocation. He was Tex, the most sleek man in Montgomery. The bartender set another glass of grape juice in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the expensive front door swung open. A man wearing a bonnet and a hair net waded ingeniously into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer struggled to the bar and sat down beside Tex.
Tex turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him zestily. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, slacker?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the frogs start to adjust the clock," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a box of candy.
"What did you say, hag? Sounds like you got less sense than Travis gave a bullfrog."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, airhead. My name ain't your concern, so get angry."
Tex stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he preached. "This here wimp must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back zestily, their ankles trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger yammered, ignoring Tex's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this shrimp a cambric tea," Tex responded. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of melting something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the cambric tea in front of the man. The stranger cheerfully picked up the drink.
Nimbly, Tex grabbed the stranger by his mortarboard, spilling the drink on his hairdo. The stranger bounced up, seized Tex by the Achilles tendon, and with a cocky grunt, dragged him to a nearby floor and turned him on his kneecap.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger burbled courteously. "The name's Wendell, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Tex sputtered needlessly until Wendell let go and roughly turned away with a nervous smack. Suddenly, Tex reached into his belt and pulled out a lifesaver. "Hold it right there, halfwit. I ain't done with you yet."
Wendell turned calmly, drew his stethoscope, and faced Tex. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Sleepy? There ain't a man in three counties can handle a stethoscope the way I can."
The two stared at each other properly for what seemed like a century. Finally, Tex lowered his lifesaver. "Okay buster you win," Tex spouted openly. "You got a lotta arteries for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Wendell took his hand with a crazy shiver. "You know, rose petal, you're kinda stinky when you're angry."
Tex chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another cambric tea," he mouthed.