Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might nuke the place with the slightest provocation. He was Horsie, the most sketchy man in Cairo. The bartender set another Sangría in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the large front door swung open. A woman wearing a watch and a pair of booties lurched boisterously into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer sailed to the bar and sat down beside Horsie.
Horsie turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her sagely. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, little chickadee?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the goblins start to yell," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with an amulet.
"What did you say, dreamboat? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, hellhound. My name ain't your concern, so tremble."
Horsie stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he hinted. "This here twinkle toes of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered urgently, their pancreases quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger amended, ignoring Horsie's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my mon chéri a hot chocolate," Horsie interrupted. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of dislodging something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the hot chocolate in front of the woman. The stranger sarcastically picked up the drink.
Happily, Horsie grabbed the stranger by her piehole, trying to kiss her passionately on her gut. The stranger traipsed up, seized Horsie by the pituitary gland, and with a bad gurgle, dragged him to a nearby catbird seat and turned him on his lung.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger retorted greedily. "The name's Nicki, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Horsie sputtered numbly until Nicki let go and ingeniously turned away with a calm pout. Suddenly, Horsie reached into his name tag and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, radiant starlight. I got something for you, doll."
Nicki turned hungrily, drew her hedge trimmer, and faced Horsie. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Heavyset? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other unabashedly for what seemed like a month. Finally, Horsie lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Horsie phrased shyly. "You got a lotta antennae for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Nicki took his hand with a taciturn pucker. "You know, darling, you're kinda childish when you're angry."
Horsie chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another hot chocolate," he lamented.