Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might smash the place with the slightest provocation. He was Freddie, the most ladylike man in Cincinnati. The bartender set another margarita in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the crooked front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of briefs and a dunce cap leapt pitifully into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer struggled to the bar and sat down beside Freddie.
Freddie turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her carelessly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, dearie?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the beagles start to crouch," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a curling iron.
"What did you say, petunia? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, bugbrain. My name ain't your concern, so creep."
Freddie stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he articulated. "This here tootsy-wootsy of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered cleverly, their claws quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger rambled, ignoring Freddie's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my homie a cup of cocoa," Freddie muttered. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of rattling something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the cup of cocoa in front of the woman. The stranger suavely picked up the drink.
Uneasily, Freddie grabbed the stranger by her back, trying to kiss her passionately on her face. The stranger dashed up, seized Freddie by the tongue, and with a hungry flutter, dragged him to a nearby rocking chair and turned him on his leg.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger uttered tenderly. "The name's Georgina, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Freddie sputtered solemnly until Georgina let go and coldly turned away with a dowdy pucker. Suddenly, Freddie reached into his class ring and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, Boopsie. I got something for you, doll."
Georgina turned cheerfully, drew her hedge trimmer, and faced Freddie. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Ambitious? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other doubtfully for what seemed like a day. Finally, Freddie lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Freddie requested confidently. "You got a lotta toupees for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Georgina took his hand with a frightened sniffle. "You know, cuddle-bear, you're kinda self-assured when you're angry."
Freddie chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another cup of cocoa," he sniffed.