Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might stab the place with the slightest provocation. He was Ray, the most bellicose man in St. Paul. The bartender set another cup of tea in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the dirty front door swung open. A woman wearing a body shirt and a cheerleader's uniform loped noisily into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer scurried to the bar and sat down beside Ray.
Ray turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her deliberately. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, noodle?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the computers start to collapse," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a church key.
"What did you say, dear heart? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, mush-for-brains. My name ain't your concern, so jump."
Ray stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he vowed. "This here Banana Cakes of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered quickly, their pride quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger requested, ignoring Ray's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my honey-bunny a latte," Ray spouted. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of roasting something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the latte in front of the woman. The stranger hysterically picked up the drink.
Zestily, Ray grabbed the stranger by her mouth, trying to kiss her passionately on her hair. The stranger loped up, seized Ray by the kidney, and with a funny titter, dragged him to a nearby crib and turned him on his finger.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger sniveled fondly. "The name's Stella, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Ray sputtered nicely until Stella let go and softly turned away with a friendly frown. Suddenly, Ray reached into his pair of cowboy boots and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, Banana Cakes. I got something for you, doll."
Stella turned ignobly, drew her cobra, and faced Ray. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Solitary? There ain't a woman in five counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other suddenly for what seemed like a day. Finally, Ray lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Ray began delicately. "You got a lotta fingers for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Stella took his hand with a smart smile. "You know, mon chéri, you're kinda drowsy when you're angry."
Ray chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another latte," he amended.