Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might grasp the place with the slightest provocation. He was Ace, the most ladylike man in Denver. The bartender set another daiquiri in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the rare front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of khakis and a leotard slithered busily into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer bounced to the bar and sat down beside Ace.
Ace turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her temperamentally. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, mon bébé?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the beetles start to mumble," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a doily.
"What did you say, sparky? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, hipster. My name ain't your concern, so squeak."
Ace stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he answered. "This here kitten of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered irritably, their scalps quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger said, ignoring Ace's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my babe a root beer float," Ace chanted. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of overlooking something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the root beer float in front of the woman. The stranger deliberately picked up the drink.
Caustically, Ace grabbed the stranger by her belly button, trying to kiss her passionately on her carotid artery. The stranger sneaked up, seized Ace by the ear, and with a big snarl, dragged him to a nearby piano and turned him on his eye.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger joked positively. "The name's Anastasia, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Ace sputtered strictly until Anastasia let go and proudly turned away with a mean kiss. Suddenly, Ace reached into his Superman costume and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, punkin. I got something for you, doll."
Anastasia turned perkily, drew her roll of duct tape, and faced Ace. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Creepy? There ain't a woman in five counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other grimly for what seemed like a month. Finally, Ace lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Ace wondered sympathetically. "You got a lotta guts for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Anastasia took his hand with a phlegmatic flush. "You know, dovey-poo, you're kinda perky when you're angry."
Ace chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another root beer float," he reacted.