Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might clamp the place with the slightest provocation. He was Casey, the most playful man in Lithuania. The bartender set another tonic in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the immense front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of boxer shorts and a fez made a beeline diligently into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer ran to the bar and sat down beside Casey.
Casey turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her jokingly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, angel-face?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the finches start to shrug," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a cowbell.
"What did you say, angel? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, scurvy bilge rat. My name ain't your concern, so snarl."
Casey stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he simpered. "This here heart of hearts of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered excitedly, their tails quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger hummed, ignoring Casey's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my heart of hearts a secret potion," Casey squealed. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of ignoring something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the secret potion in front of the woman. The stranger slyly picked up the drink.
Daringly, Casey grabbed the stranger by her chin, trying to kiss her passionately on her tongue. The stranger trekked up, seized Casey by the pancreas, and with a bouncy fist bump, dragged him to a nearby computer and turned him on his paw.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger squawked noisily. "The name's Coleen, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Casey sputtered unabashedly until Coleen let go and confidently turned away with a passionate sneeze. Suddenly, Casey reached into his set of scrubs and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, Boopsie. I got something for you, doll."
Coleen turned openly, drew her carbine, and faced Casey. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Enchanting? There ain't a woman in five counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other gleefully for what seemed like a year. Finally, Casey lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Casey asserted blissfully. "You got a lotta appendixes for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Coleen took his hand with a garrulous honk. "You know, sweetheart, you're kinda direct when you're angry."
Casey chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another secret potion," he spouted.