Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might liquify the place with the slightest provocation. He was Danny, the most self-assured man in Mumbai. The bartender set another Mudslide in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the coarse front door swung open. A woman wearing a gladiator helmet and a lab coat walked bitterly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer struggled to the bar and sat down beside Danny.
Danny turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her gracefully. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, teddy bear?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the zebras start to moan," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a baby doll.
"What did you say, radiant starlight? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, blackguard. My name ain't your concern, so deal cards."
Danny stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he rumored. "This here little chickadee of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered cunningly, their bladders quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger commented, ignoring Danny's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my teddy bear a rum and Coke," Danny smiled. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of puncturing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the rum and Coke in front of the woman. The stranger cautiously picked up the drink.
Obediently, Danny grabbed the stranger by her foot, trying to kiss her passionately on her calf. The stranger clambered up, seized Danny by the jaw, and with a sketchy squint, dragged him to a nearby water bed and turned him on his waist.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger burbled nicely. "The name's Tiffany, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Danny sputtered firmly until Tiffany let go and intensely turned away with an elderly flutter. Suddenly, Danny reached into his jumper and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, beloved. I got something for you, doll."
Tiffany turned grimly, drew her howitzer, and faced Danny. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Vacuous? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other bitterly for what seemed like a second. Finally, Danny lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Danny screeched crankily. "You got a lotta front teeth for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Tiffany took his hand with an unselfish kiss. "You know, baby-doll, you're kinda clever when you're angry."
Danny chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another rum and Coke," he orated.