Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might prune the place with the slightest provocation. He was Dustin, the most phlegmatic man in Quebec. The bartender set another margarita in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the chic front door swung open. A woman wearing a parka and a beanie sprinted charmingly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer capered to the bar and sat down beside Dustin.
Dustin turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her cautiously. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, dear?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the jackals start to snuffle," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a bone.
"What did you say, bunny? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, savage. My name ain't your concern, so get upset."
Dustin stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he articulated. "This here baby-cakes of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered grimly, their noses quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger indicated, ignoring Dustin's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my doodlebug a glass of milk," Dustin gabbed. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of killing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the glass of milk in front of the woman. The stranger suddenly picked up the drink.
Viciously, Dustin grabbed the stranger by her hip, trying to kiss her passionately on her spine. The stranger padded up, seized Dustin by the bicep, and with a vacuous snort, dragged him to a nearby mattress and turned him on his waist.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger exclaimed diligently. "The name's Monica, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Dustin sputtered wryly until Monica let go and openly turned away with a silly snort. Suddenly, Dustin reached into his pair of overalls and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, stinkums. I got something for you, doll."
Monica turned narrowly, drew her magic spell, and faced Dustin. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Tall? There ain't a woman in three counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other gingerly for what seemed like a decade. Finally, Dustin lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Dustin chortled trustingly. "You got a lotta eyes for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Monica took his hand with a humble curtsey. "You know, dearest, you're kinda mean when you're angry."
Dustin chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another glass of milk," he articulated.