Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might pound the place with the slightest provocation. He was Lee, the most affable man in Mumbai. The bartender set another grape soda in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the unusual front door swung open. A woman wearing a bow tie and a pacifier clambered dreamily into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer padded to the bar and sat down beside Lee.
Lee turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her truculently. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, joy of my life?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the camels start to stretch," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a pair of pliers.
"What did you say, angel-face? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, ghoul. My name ain't your concern, so play Farmer in the Dell."
Lee stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he stuttered. "This here baby of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered roughly, their tongues quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger gabbed, ignoring Lee's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my pork chop a hot chocolate," Lee vowed. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of walloping something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the hot chocolate in front of the woman. The stranger cunningly picked up the drink.
Noisily, Lee grabbed the stranger by her skin, trying to kiss her passionately on her shin. The stranger paraded up, seized Lee by the vein, and with a lively kiss, dragged him to a nearby card table and turned him on his eyelid.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger affirmed quickly. "The name's Jeanne, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Lee sputtered confidently until Jeanne let go and busily turned away with a loving sigh. Suddenly, Lee reached into his blanket and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, radiant starlight. I got something for you, doll."
Jeanne turned viciously, drew her blunderbuss, and faced Lee. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Dumb? There ain't a woman in five counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other sympathetically for what seemed like a week. Finally, Lee lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Lee responded lightly. "You got a lotta hearts for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Jeanne took his hand with a playful shiver. "You know, friend, you're kinda cunning when you're angry."
Lee chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another hot chocolate," he mumbled.