Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might switch the place with the slightest provocation. He was Hugo, the most hairy man in Nigeria. The bartender set another sassafras tea in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the peculiar front door swung open. A woman wearing a badge and a pair of moon boots marched elatedly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer zipped to the bar and sat down beside Hugo.
Hugo turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her carefully. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, sweetheart?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the wolves start to get sleepy," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a flower.
"What did you say, friend? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, loser. My name ain't your concern, so tremble."
Hugo stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he stormed. "This here Pinky of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered calmly, their foreheads quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger giggled, ignoring Hugo's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my poopsie a mint julep," Hugo blubbered. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of decorating something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the mint julep in front of the woman. The stranger noisily picked up the drink.
Strictly, Hugo grabbed the stranger by her shoulder, trying to kiss her passionately on her carotid artery. The stranger hopped up, seized Hugo by the antenna, and with a brazen power fist, dragged him to a nearby washstand and turned him on his toupee.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger suggested ignobly. "The name's Gretchen, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Hugo sputtered immediately until Gretchen let go and gracefully turned away with an urbane wag of the finger. Suddenly, Hugo reached into his cloak and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, lover. I got something for you, doll."
Gretchen turned truculently, drew her magic spell, and faced Hugo. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Sleepy? There ain't a woman in two counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other timidly for what seemed like a week. Finally, Hugo lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Hugo guessed nervously. "You got a lotta calves for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Gretchen took his hand with a suave hoot. "You know, precious, you're kinda prickly when you're angry."
Hugo chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another mint julep," he uttered.