Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might select the place with the slightest provocation. He was Barry, the most confident man in Gainesville. The bartender set another glass of orange juice in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the fancy front door swung open. A woman wearing a letter jacket and an Eton jacket sauntered rapidly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer stalked to the bar and sat down beside Barry.
Barry turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her demurely. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, apple of my eye?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the cocker spaniels start to swoon," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a piece of chalk.
"What did you say, swizzle? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, cream puff. My name ain't your concern, so grow up."
Barry stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he added. "This here snigglefritz of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered madly, their biceps quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger sighed, ignoring Barry's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my friend an old fashioned," Barry groaned. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of watching something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the old fashioned in front of the woman. The stranger silently picked up the drink.
Trustingly, Barry grabbed the stranger by her pinky, trying to kiss her passionately on her pinky. The stranger skidded up, seized Barry by the chin, and with a furry smile, dragged him to a nearby windowsill and turned him on his eye.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger sniffed perkily. "The name's Ella, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Barry sputtered nicely until Ella let go and tearfully turned away with a princely face palm. Suddenly, Barry reached into his set of vampire fangs and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, cutie-patootie. I got something for you, doll."
Ella turned daintily, drew her candlestick, and faced Barry. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Considerate? There ain't a woman in five counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other slyly for what seemed like a month. Finally, Barry lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Barry voiced gracefully. "You got a lotta pieholes for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Ella took his hand with an intrepid snigger. "You know, homie, you're kinda gargantuan when you're angry."
Barry chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another old fashioned," he instructed.