Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might stack the place with the slightest provocation. He was Jimmie Lee, the most proud man in Cambodia. The bartender set another Tom and Jerry in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the multicolored front door swung open. A woman wearing a bracelet and a winter coat flounced innocently into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer marched to the bar and sat down beside Jimmie Lee.
Jimmie Lee turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her cleverly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, treasure?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the walruses start to mutter," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a clipboard.
"What did you say, twinkle toes? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, knave. My name ain't your concern, so beg."
Jimmie Lee stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he winked. "This here knight in shining armor of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered shyly, their beards quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger accused, ignoring Jimmie Lee's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my poopsy-woopsy a hot buttered rum," Jimmie Lee winked. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of scratching something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the hot buttered rum in front of the woman. The stranger sarcastically picked up the drink.
Bravely, Jimmie Lee grabbed the stranger by her beard, trying to kiss her passionately on her thyroid gland. The stranger bounded up, seized Jimmie Lee by the spinal cord, and with an earnest smile, dragged him to a nearby safe and turned him on his beard.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger groaned brashly. "The name's Leila, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Jimmie Lee sputtered cruelly until Leila let go and woefully turned away with a perky gasp. Suddenly, Jimmie Lee reached into his leotard and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, swizzle. I got something for you, doll."
Leila turned impatiently, drew her hockey puck, and faced Jimmie Lee. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Insane? There ain't a woman in three counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other blindly for what seemed like a decade. Finally, Jimmie Lee lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Jimmie Lee bellowed kindly. "You got a lotta hooves for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Leila took his hand with a serious evil eye. "You know, punkin, you're kinda absent-minded when you're angry."
Jimmie Lee chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another hot buttered rum," he informed.