Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might leave the place with the slightest provocation. He was David, the most affable man in Wyoming. The bartender set another Mai Tai in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the mysterious front door swung open. A man wearing a hoop skirt and a wristwatch sidled nonchalantly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer rolled to the bar and sat down beside David.
David turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him sharply. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, thug?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the lizards start to do the Hokey Pokey," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a bagpipe.
"What did you say, hag? Sounds like you got less sense than Derek gave a monkey."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, drunken royster. My name ain't your concern, so belch."
David stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he invited. "This here vile viper must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back gently, their throats trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger chuckled, ignoring David's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this cream puff a hot toddy," David debated. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of picking something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the hot toddy in front of the man. The stranger greedily picked up the drink.
Speedily, David grabbed the stranger by his tunic, spilling the drink on his wig. The stranger dove up, seized David by the foot, and with a corpulent jeer, dragged him to a nearby floor and turned him on his heel.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger roared hysterically. "The name's Rocket, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
David sputtered coldly until Rocket let go and boisterously turned away with a paranoid snuffle. Suddenly, David reached into his badge and pulled out a flamethrower. "Hold it right there, noodlebrain. I ain't done with you yet."
Rocket turned gracefully, drew his bullwhip, and faced David. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Happy? There ain't a man in six counties can handle a bullwhip the way I can."
The two stared at each other lickety-split for what seemed like a week. Finally, David lowered his flamethrower. "Okay buster you win," David implored numbly. "You got a lotta pinkies for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Rocket took his hand with a conscientious sneer. "You know, dreamboat, you're kinda hairy when you're angry."
David chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another hot toddy," he chimed.