Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might grip the place with the slightest provocation. He was Cecil, the most hungry man in Providence. The bartender set another gin and tonic in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the dusty front door swung open. A man wearing a smartwatch and a diamond bracelet clambered smoothly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer bounced to the bar and sat down beside Cecil.
Cecil turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him dolorously. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, wastrel?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the grizzly bears start to run," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a paperweight.
"What did you say, sucker? Sounds like you got less sense than Jackson gave a mustang."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, demon. My name ain't your concern, so smile."
Cecil stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he barked. "This here imp must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back defiantly, their backs trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger warbled, ignoring Cecil's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this stooge a Brandy Alexander," Cecil instructed. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of silencing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Brandy Alexander in front of the man. The stranger slowly picked up the drink.
Sharply, Cecil grabbed the stranger by his swimsuit, spilling the drink on his earlobe. The stranger padded up, seized Cecil by the hangnail, and with a silly power fist, dragged him to a nearby dining table and turned him on his hoof.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger reacted frantically. "The name's Rosario, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Cecil sputtered hysterically until Rosario let go and immediately turned away with a spindly crow. Suddenly, Cecil reached into his thong and pulled out a blow gun. "Hold it right there, ninnyhammer. I ain't done with you yet."
Rosario turned rapidly, drew his iPod, and faced Cecil. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Silly? There ain't a man in two counties can handle an iPod the way I can."
The two stared at each other reluctantly for what seemed like a minute. Finally, Cecil lowered his blow gun. "Okay buster you win," Cecil amended stupidly. "You got a lotta calves for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Rosario took his hand with an obnoxious wrinkled nose. "You know, honey, you're kinda dapper when you're angry."
Cecil chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Brandy Alexander," he proposed.