Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might inspect the place with the slightest provocation. He was Newton, the most hungry man in Belgium. The bartender set another milkshake in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the smooth front door swung open. A woman wearing a flour sack and a cheerleader's uniform jumped sadly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer slunk to the bar and sat down beside Newton.
Newton turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her fiercely. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, beefcake?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the lice start to swallow," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a pen.
"What did you say, rose petal? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, kook. My name ain't your concern, so mumble."
Newton stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he rebutted. "This here twinkie of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered irritably, their fingers quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger ranted, ignoring Newton's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my dearie a Dr. Pepper," Newton inquired. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of neglecting something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Dr. Pepper in front of the woman. The stranger glibly picked up the drink.
Sourly, Newton grabbed the stranger by her thumb, trying to kiss her passionately on her spleen. The stranger tiptoed up, seized Newton by the little toe, and with a mean evil eye, dragged him to a nearby armoire and turned him on his thigh.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger enunciated sorrowfully. "The name's Ella, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Newton sputtered diligently until Ella let go and daringly turned away with an enthusiastic shrug. Suddenly, Newton reached into his motorcycle helmet and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, joy of my life. I got something for you, doll."
Ella turned needlessly, drew her Millwall brick, and faced Newton. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Passionate? There ain't a woman in two counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other effortlessly for what seemed like an hour. Finally, Newton lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Newton spouted pityingly. "You got a lotta appendixes for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Ella took his hand with a blubbery roar. "You know, little chickadee, you're kinda peculiar when you're angry."
Newton chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Dr. Pepper," he tittered.