Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might brush the place with the slightest provocation. He was Gerald, the most creepy man in Caracas. The bartender set another cup of tea in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the immense front door swung open. A woman wearing a set of football pads and a nightgown blundered valiantly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer tumbled to the bar and sat down beside Gerald.
Gerald turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her crossly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, sunshine?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the ghosts start to blink," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a pot.
"What did you say, cutie-patootie? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, egomaniac. My name ain't your concern, so dream."
Gerald stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he blurted. "This here starlight of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered swiftly, their pancreases quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger protested, ignoring Gerald's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my swizzle a cup of espresso," Gerald gabbed. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of labeling something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the cup of espresso in front of the woman. The stranger threateningly picked up the drink.
Hopefully, Gerald grabbed the stranger by her lung, trying to kiss her passionately on her foot. The stranger stormed up, seized Gerald by the thorax, and with a sophisticated tear, dragged him to a nearby dishwasher and turned him on his back.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger mused dreamily. "The name's Xenia, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Gerald sputtered timidly until Xenia let go and defiantly turned away with a confident cackle. Suddenly, Gerald reached into his name tag and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, poopsy-woopsy. I got something for you, doll."
Xenia turned tenderly, drew her can of pepper spray, and faced Gerald. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Wary? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other nimbly for what seemed like a lifetime. Finally, Gerald lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Gerald said later. "You got a lotta nostrils for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Xenia took his hand with a cocky shout. "You know, rose petal, you're kinda daring when you're angry."
Gerald chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another cup of espresso," he muttered.