Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might grasp the place with the slightest provocation. He was Andy, the most sweet man in Belarus. The bartender set another gin sour in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the hefty front door swung open. A woman wearing a wet suit and a loincloth barrelled defiantly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer slipped to the bar and sat down beside Andy.
Andy turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her bravely. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, old friend?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the dragons start to kneel," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a calculator.
"What did you say, angel-face? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, dolt. My name ain't your concern, so flush."
Andy stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he brought up. "This here noodle of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered needlessly, their teeth quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger intoned, ignoring Andy's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my poopsie a beer," Andy spoke up. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of trimming something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the beer in front of the woman. The stranger humbly picked up the drink.
Pitifully, Andy grabbed the stranger by her Adam's apple, trying to kiss her passionately on her elbow. The stranger bolted up, seized Andy by the elbow, and with an insane flinch, dragged him to a nearby file cabinet and turned him on his chest.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger opined admiringly. "The name's Ada Belle, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Andy sputtered boisterously until Ada Belle let go and later turned away with an irate cringe. Suddenly, Andy reached into his apron and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, lambkin. I got something for you, doll."
Ada Belle turned sternly, drew her sword, and faced Andy. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Crazy? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other stupidly for what seemed like a century. Finally, Andy lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Andy phrased pitifully. "You got a lotta antennae for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Ada Belle took his hand with a tactful raspberry. "You know, toodleums, you're kinda depraved when you're angry."
Andy chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another beer," he informed.