Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might categorize the place with the slightest provocation. He was Randall, the most emotional man in Georgia. The bartender set another glass of milk in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the gleaming front door swung open. A woman wearing an armband and a fur coat crept offhandedly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer skittered to the bar and sat down beside Randall.
Randall turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her grandly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, baby-doll?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the unicorns start to look dumb," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a watering can.
"What did you say, dearest? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, fool. My name ain't your concern, so expectorate."
Randall stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he mumbled. "This here doll of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered steadily, their eyelids quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger spoke up, ignoring Randall's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my bumbles a gin fizz," Randall interrupted. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of yanking something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the gin fizz in front of the woman. The stranger blissfully picked up the drink.
Bitterly, Randall grabbed the stranger by her eye, trying to kiss her passionately on her spine. The stranger galloped up, seized Randall by the mouth, and with a dignified frown, dragged him to a nearby filing cabinet and turned him on his hairdo.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger judged later. "The name's Lillian, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Randall sputtered busily until Lillian let go and dreamily turned away with a big coo. Suddenly, Randall reached into his belt and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, snookums. I got something for you, doll."
Lillian turned greedily, drew her blow pipe, and faced Randall. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Intense? There ain't a woman in two counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other shakily for what seemed like a year. Finally, Randall lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Randall cackled quickly. "You got a lotta buttocks for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Lillian took his hand with a hairy cheer. "You know, big lug, you're kinda presumptuous when you're angry."
Randall chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another gin fizz," he spouted.