Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might drag the place with the slightest provocation. He was Otto, the most dowdy man in Antarctica. The bartender set another beer in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the burned front door swung open. A woman wearing a letter jacket and a set of football pads lurched hysterically into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer rushed to the bar and sat down beside Otto.
Otto turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her gratefully. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, heartthrob?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the gila monsters start to scribble," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a vase.
"What did you say, heart of hearts? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, clapperdudgeon. My name ain't your concern, so blank out."
Otto stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he babbled. "This here tootsy-wootsy of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered stupidly, their scalps quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger comforted, ignoring Otto's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my honey-bunny a Harvey Wallbanger," Otto chuckled. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of praising something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Harvey Wallbanger in front of the woman. The stranger threateningly picked up the drink.
Impatiently, Otto grabbed the stranger by her throat, trying to kiss her passionately on her rib. The stranger whirled up, seized Otto by the thumb, and with a sociable grimace, dragged him to a nearby chair and turned him on his eyelash.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger offered strangely. "The name's Hallie, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Otto sputtered strictly until Hallie let go and sadly turned away with a clever snarl. Suddenly, Otto reached into his sundress and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, baby-cakes. I got something for you, doll."
Hallie turned noisily, drew her bazooka, and faced Otto. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Enthusiastic? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other ruefully for what seemed like a minute. Finally, Otto lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Otto opined coldly. "You got a lotta horns for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Hallie took his hand with a frightened snigger. "You know, honey pie, you're kinda self-confident when you're angry."
Otto chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Harvey Wallbanger," he guessed.