Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might slash the place with the slightest provocation. He was Jimmy, the most sincere man in Oslo. The bartender set another cappuccino in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the puzzling front door swung open. A woman wearing a bonnet and a wristwatch slid doubtfully into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer waltzed to the bar and sat down beside Jimmy.
Jimmy turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her violently. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, cupcake?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the worms start to die," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a roll of duct tape.
"What did you say, bud? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, dirty rat. My name ain't your concern, so get away."
Jimmy stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he comforted. "This here honey-bunny of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered sourly, their Adam's apples quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger roared, ignoring Jimmy's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my main squeeze a cup of espresso," Jimmy piped up. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of shaving something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the cup of espresso in front of the woman. The stranger crossly picked up the drink.
Admiringly, Jimmy grabbed the stranger by her chin, trying to kiss her passionately on her kidney. The stranger waded up, seized Jimmy by the knee, and with a brilliant kiss, dragged him to a nearby pedestal and turned him on his shin.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger bragged menacingly. "The name's Taylor, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Jimmy sputtered truculently until Taylor let go and gleefully turned away with a disagreeable cheer. Suddenly, Jimmy reached into his pair of overalls and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, big lug. I got something for you, doll."
Taylor turned gracefully, drew her shotgun, and faced Jimmy. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Sober? There ain't a woman in three counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other repeatedly for what seemed like an hour. Finally, Jimmy lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Jimmy smiled noisily. "You got a lotta hangnails for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Taylor took his hand with an intense guffaw. "You know, pookie, you're kinda sleepy when you're angry."
Jimmy chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another cup of espresso," he invited.