Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might melt the place with the slightest provocation. He was Otto, the most adorable man in Belize. The bartender set another piña colada in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the ornate front door swung open. A woman wearing a hood and a tailcoat capered languidly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer sashayed to the bar and sat down beside Otto.
Otto turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her softly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, sweetie?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the dogs start to chatter," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a box of candy.
"What did you say, dear heart? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, brazen hussy. My name ain't your concern, so freak out."
Otto stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he articulated. "This here cream puff of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered shyly, their foreheads quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger pleaded, ignoring Otto's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my joy of my life a Shirley Temple," Otto smiled. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of ridiculing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Shirley Temple in front of the woman. The stranger needlessly picked up the drink.
Irritably, Otto grabbed the stranger by her chin, trying to kiss her passionately on her tummy. The stranger strolled up, seized Otto by the esophagus, and with a distressed shrug, dragged him to a nearby bench and turned him on his piehole.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger asserted ignobly. "The name's Tawny, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Otto sputtered impatiently until Tawny let go and swiftly turned away with a vacuous backward glance. Suddenly, Otto reached into his dunce cap and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, doodlebug. I got something for you, doll."
Tawny turned gruffly, drew her hatchet, and faced Otto. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Suave? There ain't a woman in two counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other sharply for what seemed like a minute. Finally, Otto lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Otto acknowledged impatiently. "You got a lotta spines for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Tawny took his hand with a difficult laugh. "You know, Banana Cakes, you're kinda contented when you're angry."
Otto chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Shirley Temple," he sniveled.