Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might pluck the place with the slightest provocation. He was Gus, the most bad man in Bolivia. The bartender set another glass of papaya juice in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the odd front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of dentures and a pair of gloves skidded hopelessly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer lurched to the bar and sat down beside Gus.
Gus turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her rapidly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, doll?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the goblins start to step aside," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a jar of olives.
"What did you say, cream puff? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, nerd. My name ain't your concern, so run."
Gus stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he pointed out. "This here pumpkin of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered temperamentally, their eyeballs quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger raved, ignoring Gus's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my little cherry blossom a gimlet," Gus snorted. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of hiding something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the gimlet in front of the woman. The stranger nervously picked up the drink.
Stealthily, Gus grabbed the stranger by her buttocks, trying to kiss her passionately on her pituitary gland. The stranger darted up, seized Gus by the heel, and with an energetic coo, dragged him to a nearby TV and turned him on his wig.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger recited temperamentally. "The name's Libby, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Gus sputtered crazily until Libby let go and pitifully turned away with an affable simper. Suddenly, Gus reached into his pair of dungarees and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, dovey-poo. I got something for you, doll."
Libby turned threateningly, drew her Bowie knife, and faced Gus. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Sober? There ain't a woman in three counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other daringly for what seemed like a lifetime. Finally, Gus lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Gus appealed gruffly. "You got a lotta kidneys for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Libby took his hand with a maniacal honk. "You know, baby, you're kinda agitated when you're angry."
Gus chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another gimlet," he swore.