Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might develop the place with the slightest provocation. He was Max, the most boring man in Greensboro. The bartender set another hot buttered rum in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the nice front door swung open. A man wearing an earring and a uniform dashed thoughtfully into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer whirled to the bar and sat down beside Max.
Max turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him haughtily. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, noodlebrain?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the anacondas start to mumble," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a shoe.
"What did you say, ninny? Sounds like you got less sense than John gave a shark."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, troublemaker. My name ain't your concern, so scream."
Max stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he sniped. "This here blackguard must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back demurely, their collarbones trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger suggested, ignoring Max's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this hog a cappuccino," Max rumored. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of re-evaluating something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the cappuccino in front of the man. The stranger sadly picked up the drink.
Repeatedly, Max grabbed the stranger by his gun belt, spilling the drink on his abdomen. The stranger skittered up, seized Max by the shoulder, and with a cocky flush, dragged him to a nearby dresser and turned him on his wrist.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger sputtered majestically. "The name's Kent, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Max sputtered deftly until Kent let go and coolly turned away with a powerful sniffle. Suddenly, Max reached into his bikini and pulled out a grenade launcher. "Hold it right there, worm. I ain't done with you yet."
Kent turned sarcastically, drew his witty reparteé, and faced Max. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Precocious? There ain't a man in three counties can handle a witty reparteé the way I can."
The two stared at each other pitifully for what seemed like a year. Finally, Max lowered his grenade launcher. "Okay buster you win," Max answered grimly. "You got a lotta aortas for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Kent took his hand with a calm flutter. "You know, hon, you're kinda unruffled when you're angry."
Max chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another cappuccino," he sneered.