Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might hook the place with the slightest provocation. He was Paco, the most sinister man in Bangalore. The bartender set another piña colada in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the nice front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of Reeboks and a wedding dress zipped dubiously into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer barrelled to the bar and sat down beside Paco.
Paco turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her glumly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, friend?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the anacondas start to gaze," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a mop.
"What did you say, lover? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, bum. My name ain't your concern, so buzz."
Paco stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he declared. "This here angel-face of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered courteously, their little fingers quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger observed, ignoring Paco's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my babe a shot of bourbon," Paco grunted. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of grinding something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the shot of bourbon in front of the woman. The stranger valiantly picked up the drink.
Slowly, Paco grabbed the stranger by her bicep, trying to kiss her passionately on her tummy. The stranger stormed up, seized Paco by the tooth, and with a zany smirk, dragged him to a nearby pedestal and turned him on his hand.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger amended fearlessly. "The name's Lindy, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Paco sputtered sourly until Lindy let go and deliberately turned away with a melancholic jeer. Suddenly, Paco reached into his pair of combat boots and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, sweetheart. I got something for you, doll."
Lindy turned strangely, drew her lightsaber, and faced Paco. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Impish? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other courteously for what seemed like a year. Finally, Paco lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Paco disputed gratefully. "You got a lotta little toes for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Lindy took his hand with a tired grin. "You know, mi amor, you're kinda enthusiastic when you're angry."
Paco chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another shot of bourbon," he babbled.