Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might rotate the place with the slightest provocation. He was Corbin, the most brilliant man in Florida. The bartender set another cup of cocoa in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the petite front door swung open. A woman wearing a tuxedo and a bodysuit galloped timidly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer sashayed to the bar and sat down beside Corbin.
Corbin turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her frenetically. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, doodlebug?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the sloths start to jiggle," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a towel.
"What did you say, home boy? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, clown. My name ain't your concern, so wince."
Corbin stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he amended. "This here starlight of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered grudgingly, their pancreases quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger uttered, ignoring Corbin's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my sweetie a mint julep," Corbin persisted. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of unfolding something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the mint julep in front of the woman. The stranger pitifully picked up the drink.
Mysteriously, Corbin grabbed the stranger by her brain, trying to kiss her passionately on her jaw. The stranger went up, seized Corbin by the heart, and with a cautious gasp, dragged him to a nearby hatstand and turned him on his eye.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger screamed frantically. "The name's Connie, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Corbin sputtered recklessly until Connie let go and stealthily turned away with a modest grin. Suddenly, Corbin reached into his cummerbund and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, princess. I got something for you, doll."
Connie turned wildly, drew her six-shooter, and faced Corbin. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Cantankerous? There ain't a woman in five counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other madly for what seemed like a day. Finally, Corbin lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Corbin judged blindly. "You got a lotta lips for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Connie took his hand with an obedient raised eyebrow. "You know, honey pie, you're kinda talkative when you're angry."
Corbin chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another mint julep," he howled.