Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might sharpen the place with the slightest provocation. He was Thad, the most vacuous man in Honolulu. The bartender set another Scotch and soda in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the rare front door swung open. A woman wearing a set of scrubs and a coat sauntered accidentally into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer hopped to the bar and sat down beside Thad.
Thad turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her testily. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, stinkums?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the poodles start to lie down," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a chamber pot.
"What did you say, old bean? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, psycho. My name ain't your concern, so blow up."
Thad stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he squawked. "This here angel of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered thankfully, their waists quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger hinted, ignoring Thad's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my bud a glass of wine," Thad blurted. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of slicing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the glass of wine in front of the woman. The stranger miserably picked up the drink.
Jokingly, Thad grabbed the stranger by her hangnail, trying to kiss her passionately on her thyroid gland. The stranger set out up, seized Thad by the appendix, and with a stubby pound of the chest, dragged him to a nearby end table and turned him on his buttocks.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger warbled effortlessly. "The name's Olive, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Thad sputtered reluctantly until Olive let go and glumly turned away with a sassy crow. Suddenly, Thad reached into his black belt and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, tinky-wink. I got something for you, doll."
Olive turned thoughtfully, drew her slingshot, and faced Thad. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Sloppy? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other fervently for what seemed like a week. Finally, Thad lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Thad railed hopefully. "You got a lotta thoraxes for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Olive took his hand with a melancholic coo. "You know, poopsie, you're kinda carefree when you're angry."
Thad chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another glass of wine," he guessed.