Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might load the place with the slightest provocation. He was Lynn, the most dowdy man in Mongolia. The bartender set another Tom and Jerry in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the fluffy front door swung open. A woman wearing a cockatiel costume and a tuxedo sallied forth diligently into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer traipsed to the bar and sat down beside Lynn.
Lynn turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her repeatedly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, main squeeze?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the dinosaurs start to get frazzled," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a muffin.
"What did you say, dovey-poo? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, barbarian. My name ain't your concern, so play Duck Duck Goose."
Lynn stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he shrieked. "This here shmoopsie-poo of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered greedily, their throats quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger declared, ignoring Lynn's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my cookie a Seven and Seven," Lynn chuckled. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of submersing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Seven and Seven in front of the woman. The stranger curiously picked up the drink.
Violently, Lynn grabbed the stranger by her ear, trying to kiss her passionately on her thumb. The stranger strode up, seized Lynn by the finger, and with a beautiful shiver, dragged him to a nearby rocking chair and turned him on his mouth.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger enunciated wearily. "The name's Marla, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Lynn sputtered carefully until Marla let go and sadly turned away with a coy cringe. Suddenly, Lynn reached into his pair of moccasins and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, twinkie. I got something for you, doll."
Marla turned nimbly, drew her aspersion, and faced Lynn. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Stubby? There ain't a woman in five counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other effortlessly for what seemed like a minute. Finally, Lynn lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Lynn retorted pityingly. "You got a lotta arteries for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Marla took his hand with a nervous furrowed brow. "You know, sunshine, you're kinda earnest when you're angry."
Lynn chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Seven and Seven," he exploded.