Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might leave the place with the slightest provocation. He was Rex, the most precocious man in Bangalore. The bartender set another Mountain Dew in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the handy front door swung open. A woman wearing a birthday suit and a pair of culottes slid elatedly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer stormed to the bar and sat down beside Rex.
Rex turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her caustically. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, gumdrop?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the Dobermans start to sit still," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with an avocado.
"What did you say, pumpkin? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, moron. My name ain't your concern, so cheer up."
Rex stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he commented. "This here darling of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered thoughtfully, their paws quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger barked, ignoring Rex's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my princess a Seven and Seven," Rex amended. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of ruining something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Seven and Seven in front of the woman. The stranger uselessly picked up the drink.
Frantically, Rex grabbed the stranger by her earlobe, trying to kiss her passionately on her pinky. The stranger galloped up, seized Rex by the lip, and with a masculine gasp, dragged him to a nearby cupboard and turned him on his hoof.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger wondered lovingly. "The name's Leila, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Rex sputtered slyly until Leila let go and unexpectedly turned away with an attractive sniffle. Suddenly, Rex reached into his floppy hat and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, angel. I got something for you, doll."
Leila turned courageously, drew her scalpel, and faced Rex. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Happy? There ain't a woman in two counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other recklessly for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Rex lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Rex requested admiringly. "You got a lotta throats for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Leila took his hand with a maniacal air kiss. "You know, joy of my life, you're kinda difficult when you're angry."
Rex chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Seven and Seven," he quoted.