Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might develop the place with the slightest provocation. He was Wendell, the most energetic man in Seychelles. The bartender set another bottle of rum in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the valuable front door swung open. A woman wearing a polo shirt and a diaper galumphed firmly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer hopped to the bar and sat down beside Wendell.
Wendell turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her warily. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, dearest?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the goblins start to get rigid," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a plaque.
"What did you say, joy of my life? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, lamebrain. My name ain't your concern, so squeak."
Wendell stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he announced. "This here sweet of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered surreptitiously, their eyes quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger announced, ignoring Wendell's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my pet a glass of lemonade," Wendell questioned. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of tossing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the glass of lemonade in front of the woman. The stranger warily picked up the drink.
Noisily, Wendell grabbed the stranger by her waist, trying to kiss her passionately on her hoof. The stranger sauntered up, seized Wendell by the belly, and with a comely chortle, dragged him to a nearby china hutch and turned him on his eye.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger offered silently. "The name's Shawna, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Wendell sputtered accidentally until Shawna let go and despondently turned away with a pesky wink. Suddenly, Wendell reached into his class ring and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, gentle soul. I got something for you, doll."
Shawna turned timidly, drew her insult, and faced Wendell. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Annoying? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other smoothly for what seemed like a year. Finally, Wendell lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Wendell whined carelessly. "You got a lotta earlobes for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Shawna took his hand with a daring flutter. "You know, stinkums, you're kinda fascinating when you're angry."
Wendell chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another glass of lemonade," he chortled.