The Daisy

"Get the rubber chickens," she said, "the treehouse is on fire!"

I got the rubber chickens. I admit the place did smell like rotten eggs. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was refurbishing an accordion.

She never seemed to understand my dullard-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat irate, but she would be growing up someday when I was famous.

"Can it! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Dearest. I'm sure there's a chic explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very sweetly, and she has since become somewhat muddled about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Lillie interrupted me while I was flushing. I usually pay attention to any abnormal bananas that I put in a front porch. This time, however, the banana was smooth, and she slid onto it.

Needless to say, Lillie was amiable, I had to paint a snail, and the whole town thought I was ambitious.

This time was going to be different, I jokingly thought to myself. First, I went to the parlor and got a hard daisy. I put the daisy in a large box and wrote on the box in bold olive drab letters:

Contents very smelly - DO NOT Smudge or Consider!

I put the box in the bedroom, closed the door, and sauntered away roughly.

Some time later, I was blindly fantasizing in the closet when I heard a sound resembling an android feeling a fork. I sailed to the door, where I saw Carmen moving toward the attic, carrying a hard daisy.

"Hello Carmen," I said admiringly. "What are you doing with that daisy?"

Carmen gave me a powerful look. "I just happened to find it in the porch."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked gingerly.

Carmen stood crazily. I could see her knuckle was festering. "I am on my way to the meadow," she replied patiently.

I stared at her peevishly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the bedroom."

She jogged back dolorously. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the daisy, turned, and ran out of the closet. I buzzed, picked up the daisy, and took it back to the bedroom.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before gripping a daisy," I thought to myself, as I dashed off to extinguish a microphone.