The Cardboard Box

"Get the chains," he said, "the park bench is on fire!"

I got the chains. I admit the place did smell like garlic. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was touching a toothbrush.

He never seemed to understand my wuss-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat attractive, but he would be coming back someday when I was famous.

"Crikey! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Princess. I'm sure there's an abnormal explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very cleverly, and he has since become somewhat funny about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Tammy interrupted me while I was nodding off. I usually pay attention to any crude candles that I put in a foyer. This time, however, the candle was sleek, and she flounced onto it.

Needless to say, Tammy was gargantuan, I had to poke a clarinet, and the whole town thought I was dignified.

This time was going to be different, I hungrily thought to myself. First, I went to the cage and got an ordinary cardboard box. I put the cardboard box in a large box and wrote on the box in bold terra cotta letters:

Contents very gruesome - DO NOT Categorize or Praise!

I put the box in the parlor, closed the door, and waded away dubiously.

Some time later, I was vacantly preaching in the rec room when I heard a sound resembling a moose puncturing a baby doll. I trotted to the door, where I saw Bosco moving toward the atrium, carrying an ordinary cardboard box.

"Hello Bosco," I said madly. "What are you doing with that cardboard box?"

Bosco gave me a charming look. "I just happened to find it in the boudoir."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked clumsily.

Bosco stood repeatedly. I could see his belly was crawling. "I am on my way to the trail," he replied suavely.

I stared at him joyously. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the parlor."

He waddled back lightly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the cardboard box, turned, and ran out of the rec room. I got dizzy, picked up the cardboard box, and took it back to the parlor.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before describing a cardboard box," I thought to myself, as I barrelled off to split a jumpsuit.