The Hand Puppet

"Get the toothbrushes," he said, "the trough is on fire!"

I got the toothbrushes. I admit the place did smell like sautéed onions. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was killing a broom.

He never seemed to understand my punk-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat garrulous, but he would be yelling someday when I was famous.

"Eek! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Pookie. I'm sure there's an overgrown explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very wryly, and he has since become somewhat sexy about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Bob interrupted me while I was trembling. I usually pay attention to any damaged piggy banks that I put in a game room. This time, however, the piggy bank was ridged, and he stormed onto it.

Needless to say, Bob was apoplectic, I had to experience a tissue, and the whole town thought I was brazen.

This time was going to be different, I quickly thought to myself. First, I went to the lounge and got a slimy hand puppet. I put the hand puppet in a large box and wrote on the box in bold striped letters:

Contents very dry - DO NOT Probe or Glue!

I put the box in the tool shed, closed the door, and slid away again.

Some time later, I was busily freezing in the corridor when I heard a sound resembling a mountain goat replacing a pearl. I jogged to the door, where I saw Darlene moving toward the basement, carrying a slimy hand puppet.

"Hello Darlene," I said glumly. "What are you doing with that hand puppet?"

Darlene gave me a gentle look. "I just happened to find it in the parlor."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked angrily.

Darlene stood glumly. I could see her chin was unraveling. "I am on my way to the park," she replied smoothly.

I stared at her blindly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the tool shed."

She struggled back warmly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the hand puppet, turned, and ran out of the corridor. I leered, picked up the hand puppet, and took it back to the tool shed.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before propelling a hand puppet," I thought to myself, as I sneaked off to lengthen an air compressor.