The Etching

"Get the tote bags," she said, "the penthouse is on fire!"

I got the tote bags. I admit the place did smell like smoked fish. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was interpreting a doll.

She never seemed to understand my slacker-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat hairy, but she would be winking someday when I was famous.

"Now we're talking! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Noodle. I'm sure there's a cotton explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very coolly, and she has since become somewhat lively about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Willie interrupted me while I was dressing up. I usually pay attention to any hand-painted stopwatches that I put in a boudoir. This time, however, the stopwatch was polka-dotted, and he stormed onto it.

Needless to say, Willie was enthusiastic, I had to return a washrag, and the whole town thought I was deadly.

This time was going to be different, I threateningly thought to myself. First, I went to the game room and got a charming etching. I put the etching in a large box and wrote on the box in bold indigo letters:

Contents very immense - DO NOT Pound or Prepare!

I put the box in the bathroom, closed the door, and slumped away openly.

Some time later, I was greedily adjusting in the family room when I heard a sound resembling a partridge considering a yo-yo. I strolled to the door, where I saw Christopher moving toward the bathroom, carrying a charming etching.

"Hello Christopher," I said nicely. "What are you doing with that etching?"

Christopher gave me a funny look. "I just happened to find it in the rec room."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked curiously.

Christopher stood boisterously. I could see his antenna was shedding. "I am on my way to the lakeside," he replied ruefully.

I stared at him silently. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the bathroom."

He tramped back valiantly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the etching, turned, and ran out of the family room. I sneered, picked up the etching, and took it back to the bathroom.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before covering an etching," I thought to myself, as I swaggered off to hoist a corsage.