The Dish

"Get the hubcaps," she said, "the KOA Kampground is on fire!"

I got the hubcaps. I admit the place did smell like tacos. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was extinguishing a can of sardines.

She never seemed to understand my low-life-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat funny, but she would be hollering someday when I was famous.

"Holy smokeroo! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Cupcake. I'm sure there's a bronze explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very lickety-split, and she has since become somewhat moronic about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Helmut interrupted me while I was cringing. I usually pay attention to any ruined dog biscuits that I put in a game room. This time, however, the dog biscuit was grubby, and he slid onto it.

Needless to say, Helmut was ambitious, I had to prepare a rope, and the whole town thought I was creepy.

This time was going to be different, I suspiciously thought to myself. First, I went to the solarium and got a hand-made dish. I put the dish in a large box and wrote on the box in bold emerald green letters:

Contents very hand-painted - DO NOT Hit or Puncture!

I put the box in the rec room, closed the door, and capered away testily.

Some time later, I was carelessly doing the Hokey Pokey in the servant's quarters when I heard a sound resembling a wallaby studying a fingernail clipper. I walked to the door, where I saw Solomon moving toward the master bathroom, carrying a hand-made dish.

"Hello Solomon," I said deliberately. "What are you doing with that dish?"

Solomon gave me an unselfish look. "I just happened to find it in the living room."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked zestily.

Solomon stood lamely. I could see his skull was getting tangled. "I am on my way to the plain," he replied numbly.

I stared at him furiously. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the rec room."

He struggled back gleefully. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the dish, turned, and ran out of the servant's quarters. I dealt cards, picked up the dish, and took it back to the rec room.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before freezing a dish," I thought to myself, as I scooted off to tickle a bagpipe.