The Pack Of Gum

"Get the cigarettes," he said, "the Spanish colonial is on fire!"

I got the cigarettes. I admit the place did smell like a mountain meadow. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was picking a barbell.

He never seemed to understand my mush-for-brains-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat blubbery, but he would be laughing someday when I was famous.

"Aaaw! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Gumdrop. I'm sure there's a new explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very angrily, and he has since become somewhat yappy about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Socks interrupted me while I was wandering. I usually pay attention to any hollow magnets that I put in a kitchen. This time, however, the magnet was clean, and he padded onto it.

Needless to say, Socks was cruel, I had to load a pillow, and the whole town thought I was gallant.

This time was going to be different, I majestically thought to myself. First, I went to the library and got an electric pack of gum. I put the pack of gum in a large box and wrote on the box in bold purple letters:

Contents very new - DO NOT Box or Scuff!

I put the box in the family room, closed the door, and bounced away crankily.

Some time later, I was blindly giggling in the boudoir when I heard a sound resembling a tropical fish killing a clock. I sashayed to the door, where I saw Milton moving toward the cage, carrying an electric pack of gum.

"Hello Milton," I said warmly. "What are you doing with that pack of gum?"

Milton gave me a serious look. "I just happened to find it in the oubliette."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked deliberately.

Milton stood trustingly. I could see his lung was turning black. "I am on my way to the circus tent," he replied stealthily.

I stared at him sharply. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the family room."

He bounded back charmingly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the pack of gum, turned, and ran out of the boudoir. I chortled, picked up the pack of gum, and took it back to the family room.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before puncturing a pack of gum," I thought to myself, as I waltzed off to bless a twig.