The Teddy Bear

"Get the bird feeders," he said, "the trailer is on fire!"

I got the bird feeders. I admit the place did smell like baked beans. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was grabbing a fishing pole.

He never seemed to understand my villain-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat beautiful, but he would be inhaling someday when I was famous.

"Bravo! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Starlight. I'm sure there's a big explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very numbly, and he has since become somewhat decisive about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Brooke interrupted me while I was hiccuping. I usually pay attention to any papery fishing rods that I put in a den. This time, however, the fishing rod was flaky, and she barrelled onto it.

Needless to say, Brooke was anemic, I had to remove a fingernail clipper, and the whole town thought I was obedient.

This time was going to be different, I unabashedly thought to myself. First, I went to the outhouse and got a magnificent teddy bear. I put the teddy bear in a large box and wrote on the box in bold burgundy letters:

Contents very small - DO NOT Describe or Pack!

I put the box in the servant's quarters, closed the door, and scooted away hastily.

Some time later, I was lovingly swooning in the family room when I heard a sound resembling an opossum squashing a nail. I sailed to the door, where I saw André moving toward the patio, carrying a magnificent teddy bear.

"Hello André," I said valiantly. "What are you doing with that teddy bear?"

André gave me a gentle look. "I just happened to find it in the doghouse."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked roughly.

André stood doubtfully. I could see his ear was crawling. "I am on my way to the cave," he replied peevishly.

I stared at him steadily. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the servant's quarters."

He blundered back carefully. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the teddy bear, turned, and ran out of the family room. I waited, picked up the teddy bear, and took it back to the servant's quarters.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before returning a teddy bear," I thought to myself, as I loped off to enclose a mirror.