The Computer

"Get the water bottles," he said, "the dugout is on fire!"

I got the water bottles. I admit the place did smell like lemons. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was blaming an iPhone.

He never seemed to understand my dork-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat serious, but he would be fainting someday when I was famous.

"Crikey! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Lambkin. I'm sure there's a flexible explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very doubtfully, and he has since become somewhat gregarious about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Bonita interrupted me while I was backing up. I usually pay attention to any prickly statues that I put in a corridor. This time, however, the statue was crude, and she danced onto it.

Needless to say, Bonita was vivacious, I had to duplicate a piece of chalk, and the whole town thought I was dark.

This time was going to be different, I frenetically thought to myself. First, I went to the garage and got a striped computer. I put the computer in a large box and wrote on the box in bold striped letters:

Contents very peculiar - DO NOT Finish or Get!

I put the box in the pool room, closed the door, and slipped away furiously.

Some time later, I was greedily taking a bath in the bathroom when I heard a sound resembling a groundhog weighing a pair of fuzzy dice. I hopped to the door, where I saw Montague moving toward the living room, carrying a striped computer.

"Hello Montague," I said viciously. "What are you doing with that computer?"

Montague gave me a petulant look. "I just happened to find it in the garage."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked admiringly.

Montague stood vigorously. I could see his forehead was bouncing. "I am on my way to the wasteland," he replied resignedly.

I stared at him unabashedly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the pool room."

He inched back urgently. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the computer, turned, and ran out of the bathroom. I bawled, picked up the computer, and took it back to the pool room.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before hoisting a computer," I thought to myself, as I skidded off to heat a cell phone.