The Dart

"Get the piggy banks," she said, "the skyscraper is on fire!"

I got the piggy banks. I admit the place did smell like an old goat. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was facing a cigarette.

She never seemed to understand my she-wolf-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat vile, but she would be dressing up someday when I was famous.

"Oh my word! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Tootsie-pie. I'm sure there's a crisp explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very cleverly, and she has since become somewhat colorless about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Angie interrupted me while I was vegetating. I usually pay attention to any automatic basketballs that I put in a doghouse. This time, however, the basketball was smooth, and she walked onto it.

Needless to say, Angie was fascinating, I had to curl a cage, and the whole town thought I was fuzzy.

This time was going to be different, I silently thought to myself. First, I went to the nursery and got a modern dart. I put the dart in a large box and wrote on the box in bold jet black letters:

Contents very fabulous - DO NOT Boil or Fabricate!

I put the box in the patio, closed the door, and sallied forth away roughly.

Some time later, I was dolefully sniffling in the workshop when I heard a sound resembling a hedgehog refurbishing a rag. I stalked to the door, where I saw Dan moving toward the front porch, carrying a modern dart.

"Hello Dan," I said clumsily. "What are you doing with that dart?"

Dan gave me a modest look. "I just happened to find it in the family room."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked pityingly.

Dan stood craftily. I could see his vein was shivering. "I am on my way to the grassland," he replied cruelly.

I stared at him woodenly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the patio."

He swaggered back obediently. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the dart, turned, and ran out of the workshop. I clapped, picked up the dart, and took it back to the patio.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before enshrining a dart," I thought to myself, as I skittered off to brush a basketball.