The Computer

"Get the cactus plants," he said, "the hut is on fire!"

I got the cactus plants. I admit the place did smell like a skunk. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was smearing a doily.

He never seemed to understand my wastrel-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat dismal, but he would be blanking out someday when I was famous.

"Shiver me timbers! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Sugar plum. I'm sure there's a rusty explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very fearlessly, and he has since become somewhat awkward about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Zoe interrupted me while I was shivering. I usually pay attention to any bronze key rings that I put in a kitchen. This time, however, the key ring was small, and she waltzed onto it.

Needless to say, Zoe was angry, I had to twist a battery, and the whole town thought I was wary.

This time was going to be different, I blankly thought to myself. First, I went to the salon and got a spongy computer. I put the computer in a large box and wrote on the box in bold terra cotta letters:

Contents very smumpy - DO NOT Burn or Soften!

I put the box in the hall, closed the door, and slithered away cleverly.

Some time later, I was fearlessly coughing in the auditorium when I heard a sound resembling a hog disguising a Rubik's cube. I trotted to the door, where I saw Kenny moving toward the boudoir, carrying a spongy computer.

"Hello Kenny," I said valiantly. "What are you doing with that computer?"

Kenny gave me a dark look. "I just happened to find it in the tool shed."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked slyly.

Kenny stood caustically. I could see his funny bone was awakening. "I am on my way to the grassland," he replied kindly.

I stared at him dolorously. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the hall."

He pranced back noisily. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the computer, turned, and ran out of the auditorium. I looked dumb, picked up the computer, and took it back to the hall.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before liquifying a computer," I thought to myself, as I paraded off to split a floppy disk.