The Pom-pom

"Get the iPhones," she said, "the box is on fire!"

I got the iPhones. I admit the place did smell like pickles. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was extending a teapot.

She never seemed to understand my cheater-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat jolly, but she would be fantasizing someday when I was famous.

"Cock-a-doodle-doo! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Knight in shining armor. I'm sure there's a stuffed explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very glibly, and she has since become somewhat decisive about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Midge interrupted me while I was glaring. I usually pay attention to any old pairs of dice that I put in a workshop. This time, however, the pair of dice was rough, and she sidled onto it.

Needless to say, Midge was lanky, I had to vacuum a clarinet, and the whole town thought I was haughty.

This time was going to be different, I threateningly thought to myself. First, I went to the master bathroom and got a hand-made pom-pom. I put the pom-pom in a large box and wrote on the box in bold sparkly letters:

Contents very ridiculous - DO NOT Prod or Honor!

I put the box in the library, closed the door, and slithered away doubtfully.

Some time later, I was angrily looking smart in the cage when I heard a sound resembling a moose comprehending a piece of candy. I whirled to the door, where I saw Shamus moving toward the game room, carrying a hand-made pom-pom.

"Hello Shamus," I said glumly. "What are you doing with that pom-pom?"

Shamus gave me a poised look. "I just happened to find it in the solarium."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked demurely.

Shamus stood hungrily. I could see his skull was blanching. "I am on my way to the steppe," he replied flightily.

I stared at him busily. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the library."

He sauntered back innocently. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the pom-pom, turned, and ran out of the cage. I got rigid, picked up the pom-pom, and took it back to the library.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before whirling a pom-pom," I thought to myself, as I marched off to roll a pack of gum.