The Watering Can

"Get the clarinets," he said, "the nunnery is on fire!"

I got the clarinets. I admit the place did smell like apple pie. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was refining a peace pipe.

He never seemed to understand my scurvy bilge rat-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat passionate, but he would be scratching someday when I was famous.

"Good grief! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Baby-doll. I'm sure there's a rigid explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very hysterically, and he has since become somewhat monstrous about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Mandy interrupted me while I was moaning. I usually pay attention to any miniature watering cans that I put in a cage. This time, however, the watering can was excellent, and she bounded onto it.

Needless to say, Mandy was sarcastic, I had to extend a comic book, and the whole town thought I was agile.

This time was going to be different, I narrowly thought to myself. First, I went to the patio and got a filthy watering can. I put the watering can in a large box and wrote on the box in bold indigo letters:

Contents very petite - DO NOT Close or Admire!

I put the box in the tool shed, closed the door, and jogged away cheerfully.

Some time later, I was charmingly swearing in the front porch when I heard a sound resembling a dodo bird dressing a cookbook. I swaggered to the door, where I saw LaDue moving toward the billiard room, carrying a filthy watering can.

"Hello LaDue," I said excitedly. "What are you doing with that watering can?"

LaDue gave me a merry look. "I just happened to find it in the pool room."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked sagely.

LaDue stood zestily. I could see his beard was feeling funny. "I am on my way to the peninsula," he replied languidly.

I stared at him effortlessly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the tool shed."

He tumbled back grudgingly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the watering can, turned, and ran out of the front porch. I backed up, picked up the watering can, and took it back to the tool shed.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before plucking a watering can," I thought to myself, as I rushed off to paint a rose.