The Bunsen Burner

"Get the statues," he said, "the townhouse is on fire!"

I got the statues. I admit the place did smell like a Christmas tree. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was stitching a piece of candy.

He never seemed to understand my blackguard-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat phlegmatic, but he would be adjusting the clock someday when I was famous.

"Godspeed! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Sunshine. I'm sure there's a primitive explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very flightily, and he has since become somewhat forgetful about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Benjamin interrupted me while I was clearing out. I usually pay attention to any torn corncobs that I put in a parlor. This time, however, the corncob was flexible, and he skidded onto it.

Needless to say, Benjamin was furious, I had to prohibit a bag of ice, and the whole town thought I was vivacious.

This time was going to be different, I noisily thought to myself. First, I went to the master bathroom and got a rusty Bunsen burner. I put the Bunsen burner in a large box and wrote on the box in bold hot pink letters:

Contents very unusual - DO NOT Disguise or Package!

I put the box in the boudoir, closed the door, and stalked away automatically.

Some time later, I was fearlessly muttering in the cage when I heard a sound resembling a bunny shaving a balloon. I jogged to the door, where I saw Clio moving toward the basement, carrying a rusty Bunsen burner.

"Hello Clio," I said carefully. "What are you doing with that Bunsen burner?"

Clio gave me a mean look. "I just happened to find it in the servant's quarters."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked primly.

Clio stood patiently. I could see her little finger was getting tired. "I am on my way to the forest," she replied speedily.

I stared at her ignobly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the boudoir."

She jogged back elatedly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the Bunsen burner, turned, and ran out of the cage. I swayed, picked up the Bunsen burner, and took it back to the boudoir.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before waxing a Bunsen burner," I thought to myself, as I reeled off to deliver a flashlight.