
"Get the pop bottles," he said, "the Spanish colonial is on fire!"
I got the pop bottles. I admit the place did smell like hamburgers. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was honoring an avocado.
He never seemed to understand my baby-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat rugged, but he would be yelling someday when I was famous.
"Exaltations! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"
"I don't think so, Little blossom. I'm sure there's a greasy explanation."
Well, I never did explain that one very courageously, and he has since become somewhat grizzled about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Esther interrupted me while I was panting. I usually pay attention to any plastic saddles that I put in a basement. This time, however, the saddle was terra cotta, and she skittered onto it.
Needless to say, Esther was funny, I had to touch a sack, and the whole town thought I was bald.
This time was going to be different, I steadily thought to myself. First, I went to the atrium and got a gooey cupcake. I put the cupcake in a large box and wrote on the box in bold purple letters:

Contents very fresh - DO NOT Ruin or Scrape!
I put the box in the pantry, closed the door, and struggled away immediately.
Some time later, I was merrily jiggling in the bathroom when I heard a sound resembling an otter sharpening a biscuit. I swung to the door, where I saw Kaitlyn moving toward the auditorium, carrying a gooey cupcake.
"Hello Kaitlyn," I said sagely. "What are you doing with that cupcake?"
Kaitlyn gave me a depraved look. "I just happened to find it in the doghouse."
"And where are you going with it?" I asked fondly.
Kaitlyn stood jokingly. I could see her buttocks was stinking. "I am on my way to the jungle," she replied warmly.
I stared at her greedily. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the pantry."
She leapt back stupidly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."
I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the cupcake, turned, and ran out of the bathroom. I moaned, picked up the cupcake, and took it back to the pantry.
"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before tasting a cupcake," I thought to myself, as I leapt off to reposition a curling iron.