Rewrite this story

The Egyptian Mummy

Egyptian mummy

"Get the helmets," he said, "the mansion is on fire!"

I got the helmets. I admit the place did smell like bubble gum. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was picking a water bottle.

He never seemed to understand my jackal-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat lethargic, but he would be playing Duck Duck Goose someday when I was famous.

"Yay! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Pork chop. I'm sure there's a funny explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very sternly, and he has since become somewhat adorable about the whole thing.


The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Jean interrupted me while I was exhaling. I usually pay attention to any new rags that I put in a dining room. This time, however, the rag was plain, and she sprinted onto it.

Needless to say, Jean was nervous, I had to loosen a flower, and the whole town thought I was intelligent.

This time was going to be different, I impatiently thought to myself. First, I went to the boiler room and got a polished Egyptian mummy. I put the Egyptian mummy in a large box and wrote on the box in bold salmon letters:

cardboard box

Contents very cotton - DO NOT Wash or Clean!

I put the box in the rec room, closed the door, and reeled away joyously.

Some time later, I was unabashedly yawning in the boiler room when I heard a sound resembling a Pekingese decorating an urn. I bolted to the door, where I saw Jerry moving toward the boiler room, carrying a polished Egyptian mummy.

"Hello Jerry," I said dubiously. "What are you doing with that Egyptian mummy?"

Jerry gave me a muscular look. "I just happened to find it in the oubliette."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked charmingly.

Jerry stood wearily. I could see his nose was hissing. "I am on my way to the oasis," he replied lazily.

I stared at him stupidly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the rec room."

He tramped back recklessly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the Egyptian mummy, turned, and ran out of the boiler room. I bawled, picked up the Egyptian mummy, and took it back to the rec room.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before darkening an Egyptian mummy," I thought to myself, as I dashed off to check a candle.