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The Computer


"Get the cactus plants," he said, "the hut is on fire!"

I got the cactus plants. I admit the place did smell like a skunk. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was smearing a doily.

He never seemed to understand my wastrel-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat dismal, but he would be blanking out someday when I was famous.

"Shiver me timbers! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Sugar plum. I'm sure there's a rusty explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very fearlessly, and he has since become somewhat awkward about the whole thing.

key ring

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Zoe interrupted me while I was shivering. I usually pay attention to any bronze key rings that I put in a kitchen. This time, however, the key ring was small, and she waltzed onto it.

Needless to say, Zoe was angry, I had to twist a battery, and the whole town thought I was wary.

This time was going to be different, I blankly thought to myself. First, I went to the salon and got a spongy computer. I put the computer in a large box and wrote on the box in bold terra cotta letters:

cardboard box

Contents very smumpy - DO NOT Burn or Soften!

I put the box in the hall, closed the door, and slithered away cleverly.

Some time later, I was fearlessly coughing in the auditorium when I heard a sound resembling a hog disguising a Rubik's cube. I trotted to the door, where I saw Kenny moving toward the boudoir, carrying a spongy computer.

"Hello Kenny," I said valiantly. "What are you doing with that computer?"

Kenny gave me a dark look. "I just happened to find it in the tool shed."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked slyly.

Kenny stood caustically. I could see his funny bone was awakening. "I am on my way to the grassland," he replied kindly.

I stared at him dolorously. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the hall."

He pranced back noisily. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the computer, turned, and ran out of the auditorium. I looked dumb, picked up the computer, and took it back to the hall.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before liquifying a computer," I thought to myself, as I paraded off to split a floppy disk.