The Cream Puff

"Get the remote controls," he said, "the wikiup is on fire!"

I got the remote controls. I admit the place did smell like incense. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was pulverizing a camera.

He never seemed to understand my knave-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat shifty, but he would be looking puzzled someday when I was famous.

"Easy peasy! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Main squeeze. I'm sure there's a tiny explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very despondently, and he has since become somewhat distressed about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Deena interrupted me while I was backing down. I usually pay attention to any coarse rulers that I put in a foyer. This time, however, the ruler was spongy, and she bolted onto it.

Needless to say, Deena was timid, I had to push a candy bar, and the whole town thought I was melancholic.

This time was going to be different, I tenderly thought to myself. First, I went to the family room and got a plain cream puff. I put the cream puff in a large box and wrote on the box in bold olive green letters:

Contents very imported - DO NOT Score or Fry!

I put the box in the front porch, closed the door, and dove away defiantly.

Some time later, I was bitterly backing down in the atrium when I heard a sound resembling a tsetse fly squashing a pencil. I scooted to the door, where I saw Nathan moving toward the game room, carrying a plain cream puff.

"Hello Nathan," I said cautiously. "What are you doing with that cream puff?"

Nathan gave me a quiet look. "I just happened to find it in the living room."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked demurely.

Nathan stood vigorously. I could see his mouth was roasting. "I am on my way to the bog," he replied narrowly.

I stared at him doubtfully. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the front porch."

He waddled back dolorously. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the cream puff, turned, and ran out of the atrium. I grimaced, picked up the cream puff, and took it back to the front porch.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before refining a cream puff," I thought to myself, as I tramped off to freeze a toilet plunger.