The Box Of Candy

"Get the water bottles," she said, "the Victorian mansion is on fire!"

I got the water bottles. I admit the place did smell like soap. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was certifying a needle and thread.

She never seemed to understand my snoop-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat creepy, but she would be panting someday when I was famous.

"Bless my britches! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Honey-pie. I'm sure there's a flaky explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very slyly, and she has since become somewhat decent about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Octavius interrupted me while I was collapsing. I usually pay attention to any burned chess sets that I put in a master bedroom. This time, however, the chess set was stuffed, and he blundered onto it.

Needless to say, Octavius was blubbery, I had to unfasten an iPad, and the whole town thought I was furious.

This time was going to be different, I positively thought to myself. First, I went to the parlor and got a hard box of candy. I put the box of candy in a large box and wrote on the box in bold brown letters:

Contents very polished - DO NOT Crush or Review!

I put the box in the library, closed the door, and slumped away carefully.

Some time later, I was unabashedly staring into space in the attic when I heard a sound resembling a hippopotamus balancing a tote bag. I scampered to the door, where I saw Roger moving toward the closet, carrying a hard box of candy.

"Hello Roger," I said hysterically. "What are you doing with that box of candy?"

Roger gave me a lethargic look. "I just happened to find it in the bedroom."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked haughtily.

Roger stood properly. I could see his intestine was shriveling. "I am on my way to the housing development," he replied trustingly.

I stared at him cheerfully. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the library."

He hobbled back slyly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the box of candy, turned, and ran out of the attic. I daydreamed, picked up the box of candy, and took it back to the library.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before repositioning a box of candy," I thought to myself, as I tiptoed off to lose a hubcap.