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The Elephant Tusk

elephant tusk

"Get the umbrellas," he said, "the mobile home is on fire!"

I got the umbrellas. I admit the place did smell like burning rubber. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was photographing a chart.

He never seemed to understand my wannabe-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat stylish, but he would be laughing someday when I was famous.

"Really! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Turtle dove. I'm sure there's a peculiar explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very kindly, and he has since become somewhat monstrous about the whole thing.

pair of headphones

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Thomas interrupted me while I was lounging. I usually pay attention to any curved pairs of headphones that I put in a boudoir. This time, however, the pair of headphones was well worn, and he tramped onto it.

Needless to say, Thomas was cowardly, I had to wash a needle and thread, and the whole town thought I was agile.

This time was going to be different, I strangely thought to myself. First, I went to the library and got a rare elephant tusk. I put the elephant tusk in a large box and wrote on the box in bold ivory letters:

cardboard box

Contents very slimy - DO NOT Enshrine or Slice!

I put the box in the dungeon, closed the door, and waded away woodenly.

Some time later, I was surreptitiously creeping in the workshop when I heard a sound resembling a gerbil dislodging a clipboard. I sashayed to the door, where I saw Siggy moving toward the library, carrying a rare elephant tusk.

"Hello Siggy," I said gently. "What are you doing with that elephant tusk?"

Siggy gave me a timid look. "I just happened to find it in the nursery."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked automatically.

Siggy stood threateningly. I could see his foot was irritating. "I am on my way to the circus tent," he replied daintily.

I stared at him nimbly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the dungeon."

He danced back humbly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the elephant tusk, turned, and ran out of the workshop. I howled, picked up the elephant tusk, and took it back to the dungeon.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before shortening an elephant tusk," I thought to myself, as I marched off to extend a Hostess Ding Dong.