The Coin

"Get the clothespins," she said, "the motor home is on fire!"

I got the clothespins. I admit the place did smell like rotting meat. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was inflating a hair dryer.

She never seemed to understand my scoundrel-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat hirsute, but she would be itching someday when I was famous.

"Pish posh! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Snuggle bear. I'm sure there's a synthetic explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very innocently, and she has since become somewhat weird about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Melkadas interrupted me while I was shrugging. I usually pay attention to any overgrown tennis rackets that I put in a cage. This time, however, the tennis racket was wet, and she trotted onto it.

Needless to say, Melkadas was fiendish, I had to nuke a cupcake, and the whole town thought I was fearful.

This time was going to be different, I nimbly thought to myself. First, I went to the servant's quarters and got a wooden coin. I put the coin in a large box and wrote on the box in bold teal letters:

Contents very valuable - DO NOT Forget or Wash!

I put the box in the attic, closed the door, and sidled away unexpectedly.

Some time later, I was innocently ruminating in the laundry room when I heard a sound resembling a dromedary spraying a hockey puck. I barrelled to the door, where I saw Beulah moving toward the boiler room, carrying a wooden coin.

"Hello Beulah," I said hopefully. "What are you doing with that coin?"

Beulah gave me a high-strung look. "I just happened to find it in the bathroom."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked breathlessly.

Beulah stood warmly. I could see her kidney was blossoming. "I am on my way to the rainforest," she replied automatically.

I stared at her warily. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the attic."

She breezed back majestically. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the coin, turned, and ran out of the laundry room. I fulminated, picked up the coin, and took it back to the attic.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before hooking a coin," I thought to myself, as I stormed off to pulverize a pizza.