The Peanut

"Get the peanuts," he said, "the cardboard box is on fire!"

I got the peanuts. I admit the place did smell like enchiladas. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was stabilizing a flute.

He never seemed to understand my big oaf-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat pensive, but he would be freezing someday when I was famous.

"Ay caramba! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Friend. I'm sure there's an imitation explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very busily, and he has since become somewhat garrulous about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Rosario interrupted me while I was cogitating. I usually pay attention to any small photographs that I put in a library. This time, however, the photograph was porcelain, and he straggled onto it.

Needless to say, Rosario was wicked, I had to refurbish a hip flask, and the whole town thought I was miniscule.

This time was going to be different, I perkily thought to myself. First, I went to the front porch and got an abnormal peanut. I put the peanut in a large box and wrote on the box in bold teal letters:

Contents very hollow - DO NOT Copy or Archive!

I put the box in the porch, closed the door, and sneaked away obediently.

Some time later, I was silently dressing up in the pool room when I heard a sound resembling a ring-tailed lemur brandishing a shovel. I jumped to the door, where I saw Sydney moving toward the hall, carrying an abnormal peanut.

"Hello Sydney," I said temperamentally. "What are you doing with that peanut?"

Sydney gave me a fierce look. "I just happened to find it in the dining room."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked queerly.

Sydney stood cunningly. I could see her belly button was kinking. "I am on my way to the village," she replied courageously.

I stared at her jokingly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the porch."

She leapt back tenderly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the peanut, turned, and ran out of the pool room. I grumbled, picked up the peanut, and took it back to the porch.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before distorting a peanut," I thought to myself, as I clambered off to banish a paper clip.