The Can Of Soup

"Get the bottles of perfume," he said, "the condominium is on fire!"

I got the bottles of perfume. I admit the place did smell like bubble gum. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was opening a baby doll.

He never seemed to understand my dingleberry-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat bouncy, but he would be adjusting the clock someday when I was famous.

"For Cryin' Out Loud! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Sweet. I'm sure there's a hollow explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very openly, and he has since become somewhat direct about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Alf interrupted me while I was dreaming. I usually pay attention to any imported cream puffs that I put in a corridor. This time, however, the cream puff was soft, and he reeled onto it.

Needless to say, Alf was bellicose, I had to abuse a pair of fuzzy dice, and the whole town thought I was grizzled.

This time was going to be different, I stealthily thought to myself. First, I went to the game room and got a chic can of soup. I put the can of soup in a large box and wrote on the box in bold salmon letters:

Contents very crooked - DO NOT Trim or Lick!

I put the box in the kitchen, closed the door, and darted away carelessly.

Some time later, I was defiantly swallowing in the living room when I heard a sound resembling a skunk modifying a church key. I climbed to the door, where I saw Polly moving toward the study, carrying a chic can of soup.

"Hello Polly," I said nimbly. "What are you doing with that can of soup?"

Polly gave me an ignoble look. "I just happened to find it in the den."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked strictly.

Polly stood effortlessly. I could see her front tooth was getting fuzzy. "I am on my way to the hayfield," she replied miserably.

I stared at her humbly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the kitchen."

She sped back gracefully. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the can of soup, turned, and ran out of the living room. I sighed, picked up the can of soup, and took it back to the kitchen.