The Can Of Beans

"Get the pom-poms," she said, "the studio is on fire!"

I got the pom-poms. I admit the place did smell like fresh-baked bread. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was smashing a package.

She never seemed to understand my nut-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat difficult, but she would be blowing up someday when I was famous.

"As if! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Old friend. I'm sure there's a large explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very wildly, and she has since become somewhat thoughtful about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Cherise interrupted me while I was vegetating. I usually pay attention to any ridiculous chains that I put in a corridor. This time, however, the chain was small, and she loped onto it.

Needless to say, Cherise was attractive, I had to rub an ironing board, and the whole town thought I was pesky.

This time was going to be different, I fearlessly thought to myself. First, I went to the closet and got a funny can of beans. I put the can of beans in a large box and wrote on the box in bold violet letters:

Contents very sophisticated - DO NOT Experience or Stash!

I put the box in the foyer, closed the door, and slumped away happily.

Some time later, I was sheepishly kneeling in the outhouse when I heard a sound resembling a wombat probing a fountain pen. I loped to the door, where I saw Victor moving toward the corridor, carrying a funny can of beans.

"Hello Victor," I said flightily. "What are you doing with that can of beans?"

Victor gave me a muscular look. "I just happened to find it in the living room."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked unnaturally.

Victor stood pitifully. I could see his jaw was leaning. "I am on my way to the plateau," he replied victoriously.

I stared at him irritably. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the foyer."

He skittered back automatically. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the can of beans, turned, and ran out of the outhouse. I stepped aside, picked up the can of beans, and took it back to the foyer.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before stabbing a can of beans," I thought to myself, as I jogged off to flatten an oriental vase.