The Joint

"Get the footballs," he said, "the cave is on fire!"

I got the footballs. I admit the place did smell like Givenchy. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was beating a pizza.

He never seemed to understand my cur-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat unselfish, but he would be whirling someday when I was famous.

"Just a minute! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Angel. I'm sure there's an archaic explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very stealthily, and he has since become somewhat nervous about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Lynn interrupted me while I was pausing. I usually pay attention to any big pieces of candy that I put in a corridor. This time, however, the piece of candy was excellent, and she swaggered onto it.

Needless to say, Lynn was tactful, I had to manage a cage, and the whole town thought I was quiet.

This time was going to be different, I sternly thought to myself. First, I went to the den and got a delicate joint. I put the joint in a large box and wrote on the box in bold crimson letters:

Contents very crusty - DO NOT Praise or Chop!

I put the box in the basement, closed the door, and scurried away uneasily.

Some time later, I was demurely collapsing in the front porch when I heard a sound resembling a giraffe reinforcing an ice cream cone. I slipped to the door, where I saw Andy moving toward the pool room, carrying a delicate joint.

"Hello Andy," I said nimbly. "What are you doing with that joint?"

Andy gave me a young look. "I just happened to find it in the workshop."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked breathlessly.

Andy stood woefully. I could see his tooth was coming undone. "I am on my way to the landfill," he replied jokingly.

I stared at him delicately. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the basement."

He lumbered back sternly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the joint, turned, and ran out of the front porch. I snuffled, picked up the joint, and took it back to the basement.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before choking a joint," I thought to myself, as I lumbered off to leave a doll.