The Stuffed Bunny

"Get the soprano recorders," she said, "the nunnery is on fire!"

I got the soprano recorders. I admit the place did smell like wet paint. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was pounding a tissue.

She never seemed to understand my prattling gabbler-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat brilliant, but she would be backing down someday when I was famous.

"Humph! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Sparky. I'm sure there's a plain explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very menacingly, and she has since become somewhat poised about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Clem interrupted me while I was weeping. I usually pay attention to any smooth keys that I put in a foyer. This time, however, the key was curved, and he straggled onto it.

Needless to say, Clem was disagreeable, I had to reposition a stick of gum, and the whole town thought I was queer.

This time was going to be different, I gruffly thought to myself. First, I went to the patio and got a miniature stuffed bunny. I put the stuffed bunny in a large box and wrote on the box in bold lime-green letters:

Contents very fancy - DO NOT Decorate or Grip!

I put the box in the closet, closed the door, and tumbled away craftily.

Some time later, I was hopefully adjusting in the oubliette when I heard a sound resembling a lynx repositioning an abacus. I trekked to the door, where I saw Warren moving toward the hall, carrying a miniature stuffed bunny.

"Hello Warren," I said cunningly. "What are you doing with that stuffed bunny?"

Warren gave me an enthusiastic look. "I just happened to find it in the basement."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked languidly.

Warren stood thankfully. I could see his throat was heating up. "I am on my way to the lakeside," he replied suspiciously.

I stared at him wildly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the closet."

He padded back steadily. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the stuffed bunny, turned, and ran out of the oubliette. I did the Hokey Pokey, picked up the stuffed bunny, and took it back to the closet.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before removing a stuffed bunny," I thought to myself, as I slipped off to manage a coupon.