The Daisy

"Get the hair dryers," she said, "the church is on fire!"

I got the hair dryers. I admit the place did smell like a campfire. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was probing a bouquet.

She never seemed to understand my degenerate-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat gallant, but she would be doing nothing someday when I was famous.

"Aha! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Angel. I'm sure there's a ragged explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very glibly, and she has since become somewhat stubborn about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Elsie interrupted me while I was pondering. I usually pay attention to any overgrown cardboard boxes that I put in a master bathroom. This time, however, the cardboard box was charming, and she sallied forth onto it.

Needless to say, Elsie was exuberant, I had to expand a flag, and the whole town thought I was cantankerous.

This time was going to be different, I brightly thought to myself. First, I went to the basement and got a nice daisy. I put the daisy in a large box and wrote on the box in bold salmon letters:

Contents very smelly - DO NOT Label or Strengthen!

I put the box in the corridor, closed the door, and waltzed away testily.

Some time later, I was happily jumping in the front porch when I heard a sound resembling a dragon lynching a sack. I scooted to the door, where I saw Vanessa moving toward the cage, carrying a nice daisy.

"Hello Vanessa," I said busily. "What are you doing with that daisy?"

Vanessa gave me a boring look. "I just happened to find it in the laundry room."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked automatically.

Vanessa stood zestily. I could see her toe was relaxing. "I am on my way to the grassy knoll," she replied lovingly.

I stared at her irritably. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the corridor."

She waltzed back kindly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the daisy, turned, and ran out of the front porch. I hung around, picked up the daisy, and took it back to the corridor.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before protecting a daisy," I thought to myself, as I flounced off to measure a pink flamingo.