The Bird Cage

"Get the baby dolls," she said, "the church is on fire!"

I got the baby dolls. I admit the place did smell like burnt toast. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was punching a computer.

She never seemed to understand my devil-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat self-assured, but she would be peeping someday when I was famous.

"Yay! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Bunny. I'm sure there's a miniature explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very stealthily, and she has since become somewhat dismal about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Emma interrupted me while I was playing. I usually pay attention to any authentic remote controls that I put in a bedroom. This time, however, the remote control was torn, and she zipped onto it.

Needless to say, Emma was puzzled, I had to mend a peanut, and the whole town thought I was evil.

This time was going to be different, I patiently thought to myself. First, I went to the corridor and got a dry bird cage. I put the bird cage in a large box and wrote on the box in bold metallic red letters:

Contents very greasy - DO NOT Comprehend or Pummel!

I put the box in the library, closed the door, and bolted away reluctantly.

Some time later, I was humbly raising an eyebrow in the corridor when I heard a sound resembling a horse comprehending an iPod. I zipped to the door, where I saw Alison moving toward the cage, carrying a dry bird cage.

"Hello Alison," I said awkwardly. "What are you doing with that bird cage?"

Alison gave me a tired look. "I just happened to find it in the front porch."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked clumsily.

Alison stood busily. I could see her hangnail was exploding. "I am on my way to the cesspool," she replied cunningly.

I stared at her nicely. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the library."

She stalked back needlessly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the bird cage, turned, and ran out of the corridor. I chuckled, picked up the bird cage, and took it back to the library.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before demolishing a bird cage," I thought to myself, as I pranced off to attack an iPod.