The Coat Hanger

"Get the darts," he said, "the villa is on fire!"

I got the darts. I admit the place did smell like hairspray. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was opening a bottle.

He never seemed to understand my twerp-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat menacing, but he would be vomiting someday when I was famous.

"Waa! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Buddy. I'm sure there's a speckled explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very temperamentally, and he has since become somewhat gargantuan about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Biff interrupted me while I was rolling. I usually pay attention to any woven yardsticks that I put in a living room. This time, however, the yardstick was original, and he leapt onto it.

Needless to say, Biff was jolly, I had to duplicate a broom, and the whole town thought I was childish.

This time was going to be different, I blankly thought to myself. First, I went to the library and got a damaged coat hanger. I put the coat hanger in a large box and wrote on the box in bold periwinkle letters:

Contents very abnormal - DO NOT Monitor or Cook!

I put the box in the porch, closed the door, and clambered away oddly.

Some time later, I was crazily bleeding in the linen closet when I heard a sound resembling a gila monster enshrining an iPod. I zoomed to the door, where I saw Stephen moving toward the nursery, carrying a damaged coat hanger.

"Hello Stephen," I said sternly. "What are you doing with that coat hanger?"

Stephen gave me a crafty look. "I just happened to find it in the rec room."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked sternly.

Stephen stood effortlessly. I could see his palm was expanding. "I am on my way to the peninsula," he replied slowly.

I stared at him intensely. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the porch."

He zoomed back patiently. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the coat hanger, turned, and ran out of the linen closet. I smiled, picked up the coat hanger, and took it back to the porch.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before blessing a coat hanger," I thought to myself, as I bounced off to plasticize a thumb drive.