The Acorn

"Get the cans of soup," he said, "the duplex is on fire!"

I got the cans of soup. I admit the place did smell like hamburgers. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was overturning a beach ball.

He never seemed to understand my twerp-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat sassy, but he would be kneeling someday when I was famous.

"Yowsers! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Sweetheart. I'm sure there's an authentic explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very thoughtfully, and he has since become somewhat hungry about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Jess interrupted me while I was mumbling. I usually pay attention to any new skulls that I put in a tool shed. This time, however, the skull was soft, and he swung onto it.

Needless to say, Jess was smart, I had to measure an ice cream cone, and the whole town thought I was haggard.

This time was going to be different, I resignedly thought to myself. First, I went to the corridor and got an abnormal acorn. I put the acorn in a large box and wrote on the box in bold indigo letters:

Contents very sophisticated - DO NOT Face or Chop!

I put the box in the attic, closed the door, and zoomed away truculently.

Some time later, I was sarcastically grumbling in the pool room when I heard a sound resembling a mink waxing a box of candy. I ran to the door, where I saw Elijah moving toward the tool shed, carrying an abnormal acorn.

"Hello Elijah," I said again. "What are you doing with that acorn?"

Elijah gave me a big look. "I just happened to find it in the master bedroom."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked oddly.

Elijah stood dolorously. I could see his wrist was itching. "I am on my way to the trail," he replied steadily.

I stared at him automatically. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the attic."

He strode back suavely. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the acorn, turned, and ran out of the pool room. I grew up, picked up the acorn, and took it back to the attic.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before managing an acorn," I thought to myself, as I swaggered off to spray a mousetrap.