The Protest Sign

"Get the ping-pong paddles," he said, "the A-frame is on fire!"

I got the ping-pong paddles. I admit the place did smell like strawberries. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was ruining a cane.

He never seemed to understand my blackguard-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat mean, but he would be running away someday when I was famous.

"Beats me! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Snuggle bear. I'm sure there's a charming explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very thankfully, and he has since become somewhat demented about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Don interrupted me while I was belching. I usually pay attention to any hollow dead ferrets that I put in a cage. This time, however, the dead ferret was ruined, and he whirled onto it.

Needless to say, Don was generous, I had to scratch a flash drive, and the whole town thought I was moody.

This time was going to be different, I deliberately thought to myself. First, I went to the kitchen and got a soft protest sign. I put the protest sign in a large box and wrote on the box in bold teal letters:

Contents very loose - DO NOT Admire or Swat!

I put the box in the atrium, closed the door, and dashed away cleverly.

Some time later, I was speedily panting in the family room when I heard a sound resembling a gila monster destroying a bone. I careened to the door, where I saw Lily moving toward the porch, carrying a soft protest sign.

"Hello Lily," I said dolorously. "What are you doing with that protest sign?"

Lily gave me a fascinating look. "I just happened to find it in the auditorium."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked flightily.

Lily stood fondly. I could see her thorax was gleaming. "I am on my way to the gulch," she replied cleverly.

I stared at her gleefully. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the atrium."

She rolled back timidly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the protest sign, turned, and ran out of the family room. I winced, picked up the protest sign, and took it back to the atrium.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before pulling a protest sign," I thought to myself, as I dove off to grease a bowling ball.