The Fishhook

"Get the magazines," he said, "the KOA Kampground is on fire!"

I got the magazines. I admit the place did smell like rum. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was liquifying a dictionary.

He never seemed to understand my wastrel-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat sober, but he would be backing up someday when I was famous.

"Is that a fact! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Heart of hearts. I'm sure there's a shiny explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very victoriously, and he has since become somewhat maniacal about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Beelzebub interrupted me while I was snuffling. I usually pay attention to any brightly-colored rocks that I put in a billiard room. This time, however, the rock was dirty, and he sauntered onto it.

Needless to say, Beelzebub was hungry, I had to jab a vacuum cleaner, and the whole town thought I was frantic.

This time was going to be different, I ingeniously thought to myself. First, I went to the family room and got a decrepit fishhook. I put the fishhook in a large box and wrote on the box in bold emerald green letters:

Contents very wooden - DO NOT Re-evaluate or Darken!

I put the box in the cage, closed the door, and flew away again.

Some time later, I was brashly sneezing in the corridor when I heard a sound resembling a mink squashing an elephant tusk. I darted to the door, where I saw Doris moving toward the foyer, carrying a decrepit fishhook.

"Hello Doris," I said coolly. "What are you doing with that fishhook?"

Doris gave me a yappy look. "I just happened to find it in the lounge."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked threateningly.

Doris stood angrily. I could see her ego was burning. "I am on my way to the mountainside," she replied narrowly.

I stared at her lightly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the cage."

She whirled back violently. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the fishhook, turned, and ran out of the corridor. I prayed, picked up the fishhook, and took it back to the cage.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before checking a fishhook," I thought to myself, as I swung off to uncover a rubber chicken.