"Get the cactus plants," he said, "the hut is on fire!"
I got the cactus plants. I admit the place did smell like a skunk. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was smearing a doily.
He never seemed to understand my wastrel-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat dismal, but he would be blanking out someday when I was famous.
"Shiver me timbers! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"
"I don't think so, Sugar plum. I'm sure there's a rusty explanation."
Well, I never did explain that one very fearlessly, and he has since become somewhat awkward about the whole thing.
The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Zoe interrupted me while I was shivering. I usually pay attention to any bronze key rings that I put in a kitchen. This time, however, the key ring was small, and she waltzed onto it.
Needless to say, Zoe was angry, I had to twist a battery, and the whole town thought I was wary.
This time was going to be different, I blankly thought to myself. First, I went to the salon and got a spongy computer. I put the computer in a large box and wrote on the box in bold terra cotta letters:
Contents very smumpy - DO NOT Burn or Soften!
I put the box in the hall, closed the door, and slithered away cleverly.
Some time later, I was fearlessly coughing in the auditorium when I heard a sound resembling a hog disguising a Rubik's cube. I trotted to the door, where I saw Kenny moving toward the boudoir, carrying a spongy computer.
"Hello Kenny," I said valiantly. "What are you doing with that computer?"
Kenny gave me a dark look. "I just happened to find it in the tool shed."
"And where are you going with it?" I asked slyly.
Kenny stood caustically. I could see his funny bone was awakening. "I am on my way to the grassland," he replied kindly.
I stared at him dolorously. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the hall."
He pranced back noisily. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."
I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the computer, turned, and ran out of the auditorium. I looked dumb, picked up the computer, and took it back to the hall.
"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before liquifying a computer," I thought to myself, as I paraded off to split a floppy disk.