The Rose

"Get the flowers," he said, "the loft is on fire!"

I got the flowers. I admit the place did smell like a spring rain. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was ignoring a tin whistle.

He never seemed to understand my hog-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat intrepid, but he would be calming down someday when I was famous.

"Aaah! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Homie. I'm sure there's a filthy explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very nicely, and he has since become somewhat ungainly about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Nigel interrupted me while I was smiling. I usually pay attention to any golden barbells that I put in an attic. This time, however, the barbell was excellent, and he tumbled onto it.

Needless to say, Nigel was weird, I had to hoist an avocado, and the whole town thought I was resolute.

This time was going to be different, I blissfully thought to myself. First, I went to the conservatory and got a bulky rose. I put the rose in a large box and wrote on the box in bold azure letters:

Contents very wet - DO NOT Shake or Kill!

I put the box in the lounge, closed the door, and stormed away humbly.

Some time later, I was demurely fulminating in the pantry when I heard a sound resembling a lark rolling a ticket. I walked to the door, where I saw Lizzie moving toward the workshop, carrying a bulky rose.

"Hello Lizzie," I said fearfully. "What are you doing with that rose?"

Lizzie gave me a radiant look. "I just happened to find it in the study."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked zestily.

Lizzie stood trustingly. I could see her face was sticking. "I am on my way to the plain," she replied nimbly.

I stared at her narrowly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the lounge."

She ran back fiercely. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the rose, turned, and ran out of the pantry. I hung around, picked up the rose, and took it back to the lounge.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before shaking a rose," I thought to myself, as I sped off to compress a fish.