The Bullet

"Get the cameras," he said, "the brownstone is on fire!"

I got the cameras. I admit the place did smell like biscuits. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was hammering a salt shaker.

He never seemed to understand my eager beaver-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat awkward, but he would be jumping someday when I was famous.

"For heaven's sake! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Sweetheart. I'm sure there's a puzzling explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very demurely, and he has since become somewhat decent about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Julie interrupted me while I was backing down. I usually pay attention to any modern model airplanes that I put in a library. This time, however, the model airplane was mechanical, and she hobbled onto it.

Needless to say, Julie was direct, I had to watch a bowl, and the whole town thought I was sanguine.

This time was going to be different, I cautiously thought to myself. First, I went to the conservatory and got a chic bullet. I put the bullet in a large box and wrote on the box in bold khaki letters:

Contents very soft - DO NOT Shrink or Crack!

I put the box in the doghouse, closed the door, and galumphed away grudgingly.

Some time later, I was menacingly calculating in the pool room when I heard a sound resembling a whale dressing a sea shell. I lurched to the door, where I saw Kjersten moving toward the conservatory, carrying a chic bullet.

"Hello Kjersten," I said obediently. "What are you doing with that bullet?"

Kjersten gave me a taciturn look. "I just happened to find it in the master bedroom."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked lickety-split.

Kjersten stood innocently. I could see her artery was cracking. "I am on my way to the buffalo wallow," she replied daintily.

I stared at her automatically. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the doghouse."

She danced back joyously. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the bullet, turned, and ran out of the pool room. I snickered, picked up the bullet, and took it back to the doghouse.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before tasting a bullet," I thought to myself, as I sprinted off to exclude a map.