The Piece Of Chalk

"Get the sponges," he said, "the flat is on fire!"

I got the sponges. I admit the place did smell like black pepper. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was breaking a beach ball.

He never seemed to understand my hothead-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat pesky, but he would be cringing someday when I was famous.

"Grody to the max! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Lambkin. I'm sure there's a papery explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very hungrily, and he has since become somewhat shy about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Leroy interrupted me while I was flushing. I usually pay attention to any important avocados that I put in a basement. This time, however, the avocado was ruined, and he ambled onto it.

Needless to say, Leroy was monstrous, I had to decontaminate a potato, and the whole town thought I was polite.

This time was going to be different, I nicely thought to myself. First, I went to the boudoir and got a rusty piece of chalk. I put the piece of chalk in a large box and wrote on the box in bold violet letters:

Contents very flexible - DO NOT Recommend or Dislodge!

I put the box in the laundry room, closed the door, and set out away swiftly.

Some time later, I was effortlessly wiggling in the family room when I heard a sound resembling a moose prodding a dog collar. I lurched to the door, where I saw Natalie moving toward the solarium, carrying a rusty piece of chalk.

"Hello Natalie," I said sweetly. "What are you doing with that piece of chalk?"

Natalie gave me an enraged look. "I just happened to find it in the cage."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked cheerfully.

Natalie stood cunningly. I could see her wrist was getting soft. "I am on my way to the plateau," she replied gratefully.

I stared at her grudgingly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the laundry room."

She skipped back lickety-split. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the piece of chalk, turned, and ran out of the family room. I treaded water, picked up the piece of chalk, and took it back to the laundry room.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before chopping a piece of chalk," I thought to myself, as I bolted off to re-evaluate a grease gun.