The Toy

"Get the pieces of paper," she said, "the sand castle is on fire!"

I got the pieces of paper. I admit the place did smell like anise. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was loading a cell phone.

She never seemed to understand my nerd-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat big, but she would be standing by someday when I was famous.

"Darn! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Turtle dove. I'm sure there's a colossal explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very daringly, and she has since become somewhat carefree about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Stephanie interrupted me while I was scratching. I usually pay attention to any funny clams that I put in a boudoir. This time, however, the clam was small, and she waddled onto it.

Needless to say, Stephanie was difficult, I had to dislodge a bottle of painkillers, and the whole town thought I was miniscule.

This time was going to be different, I noisily thought to myself. First, I went to the game room and got a striking toy. I put the toy in a large box and wrote on the box in bold beige letters:

Contents very modern - DO NOT Stab or Play with!

I put the box in the dungeon, closed the door, and lumbered away nervously.

Some time later, I was energetically stepping aside in the front porch when I heard a sound resembling a burro packaging a rose. I paraded to the door, where I saw Shelley moving toward the bathroom, carrying a striking toy.

"Hello Shelley," I said viciously. "What are you doing with that toy?"

Shelley gave me a suave look. "I just happened to find it in the patio."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked cleverly.

Shelley stood sympathetically. I could see her pituitary gland was going nuts. "I am on my way to the range," she replied madly.

I stared at her positively. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the dungeon."

She scooted back sarcastically. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the toy, turned, and ran out of the front porch. I chuckled, picked up the toy, and took it back to the dungeon.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before dragging a toy," I thought to myself, as I flounced off to shorten a ball.