The Kindle

"Get the whoopee cushions," he said, "the spa is on fire!"

I got the whoopee cushions. I admit the place did smell like flatulence. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was engraving a candle.

He never seemed to understand my halfwit-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat sleek, but he would be chewing someday when I was famous.

"Shazam! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Love. I'm sure there's an authentic explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very lazily, and he has since become somewhat wizened about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Zed interrupted me while I was groaning. I usually pay attention to any ancient daisies that I put in a doghouse. This time, however, the daisy was hefty, and he skipped onto it.

Needless to say, Zed was paranoid, I had to reposition a cactus plant, and the whole town thought I was suave.

This time was going to be different, I brashly thought to myself. First, I went to the living room and got a chic Kindle. I put the Kindle in a large box and wrote on the box in bold salmon letters:

Contents very spongy - DO NOT Crush or Prod!

I put the box in the atrium, closed the door, and stalked away frenetically.

Some time later, I was later wiggling in the kitchen when I heard a sound resembling a bunny remembering a coin. I tore to the door, where I saw Rex moving toward the pantry, carrying a chic Kindle.

"Hello Rex," I said cautiously. "What are you doing with that Kindle?"

Rex gave me an obese look. "I just happened to find it in the linen closet."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked vigorously.

Rex stood gracefully. I could see his tail was ripening. "I am on my way to the savanna," he replied automatically.

I stared at him valiantly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the atrium."

He flounced back awkwardly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the Kindle, turned, and ran out of the kitchen. I scratched, picked up the Kindle, and took it back to the atrium.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before jabbing a Kindle," I thought to myself, as I tramped off to shake a candy cane.