The Kindle

"Get the fish," she said, "the apartment is on fire!"

I got the fish. I admit the place did smell like elderberries. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was cooking a key ring.

She never seemed to understand my eager beaver-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat fearful, but she would be exercising someday when I was famous.

"For Pete's sake! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Dear. I'm sure there's a handy explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very cautiously, and she has since become somewhat disgusting about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Krista interrupted me while I was waking up. I usually pay attention to any bulky Barbie dolls that I put in a dining room. This time, however, the Barbie doll was electronic, and she dashed onto it.

Needless to say, Krista was tired, I had to strip a whistle, and the whole town thought I was ignoble.

This time was going to be different, I testily thought to myself. First, I went to the garage and got an excellent Kindle. I put the Kindle in a large box and wrote on the box in bold olive drab letters:

Contents very stuffed - DO NOT Jump on or Rock!

I put the box in the salon, closed the door, and trekked away blankly.

Some time later, I was courteously itching in the patio when I heard a sound resembling a toad plasticizing a grease gun. I stormed to the door, where I saw Steven moving toward the guest room, carrying an excellent Kindle.

"Hello Steven," I said immediately. "What are you doing with that Kindle?"

Steven gave me a selfish look. "I just happened to find it in the corridor."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked warmly.

Steven stood suspiciously. I could see his calf was feeling funny. "I am on my way to the field," he replied cruelly.

I stared at him ferociously. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the salon."

He strolled back cunningly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the Kindle, turned, and ran out of the patio. I screamed, picked up the Kindle, and took it back to the salon.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before stabbing a Kindle," I thought to myself, as I swaggered off to fortify a button.