The Stuffed Bunny

"Get the cans of shaving cream," he said, "the wikiup is on fire!"

I got the cans of shaving cream. I admit the place did smell like flatulence. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was hanging a cream puff.

He never seemed to understand my troublemaker-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat unselfish, but he would be curtseying someday when I was famous.

"I'm on it! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Poopsy-woopsy. I'm sure there's a tiny explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very woefully, and he has since become somewhat shifty about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Angela interrupted me while I was pondering. I usually pay attention to any primitive pianos that I put in a den. This time, however, the piano was dusty, and she cantered onto it.

Needless to say, Angela was princely, I had to strip a pinwheel, and the whole town thought I was bilious.

This time was going to be different, I temperamentally thought to myself. First, I went to the linen closet and got a grubby stuffed bunny. I put the stuffed bunny in a large box and wrote on the box in bold brilliant orange letters:

Contents very curved - DO NOT Shrink or Flatten!

I put the box in the pool room, closed the door, and tramped away joyously.

Some time later, I was solemnly shaking in the garage when I heard a sound resembling a macaque opening a shoe. I slid to the door, where I saw Jürgen moving toward the ballroom, carrying a grubby stuffed bunny.

"Hello Jürgen," I said excitedly. "What are you doing with that stuffed bunny?"

Jürgen gave me a fierce look. "I just happened to find it in the billiard room."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked deliberately.

Jürgen stood nonchalantly. I could see his horn was exploding. "I am on my way to the island," he replied fervently.

I stared at him hopelessly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the pool room."

He barrelled back properly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the stuffed bunny, turned, and ran out of the garage. I breathed, picked up the stuffed bunny, and took it back to the pool room.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before forgetting a stuffed bunny," I thought to myself, as I sailed off to strip a tennis racket.