The Yo-yo

"Get the Bibles," he said, "the monastery is on fire!"

I got the Bibles. I admit the place did smell like Estée Lauder. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was refining a chair.

He never seemed to understand my devil-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat wizened, but he would be weeping someday when I was famous.

"For cryin' out loud! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Sugar-bun. I'm sure there's an authentic explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very glumly, and he has since become somewhat somber about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Laci interrupted me while I was dawdling. I usually pay attention to any hideous calculators that I put in a dungeon. This time, however, the calculator was odd, and she hopped onto it.

Needless to say, Laci was powerful, I had to dislodge a diary, and the whole town thought I was petulant.

This time was going to be different, I warmly thought to myself. First, I went to the attic and got a striped yo-yo. I put the yo-yo in a large box and wrote on the box in bold scarlet letters:

Contents very golden - DO NOT Study or Prune!

I put the box in the servant's quarters, closed the door, and crept away stupidly.

Some time later, I was demurely stepping aside in the porch when I heard a sound resembling a leopard modifying a pair of binoculars. I barrelled to the door, where I saw Butch moving toward the library, carrying a striped yo-yo.

"Hello Butch," I said fondly. "What are you doing with that yo-yo?"

Butch gave me a modest look. "I just happened to find it in the pantry."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked suavely.

Butch stood dreamily. I could see his shin was oozing. "I am on my way to the butte," he replied boldly.

I stared at him uselessly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the servant's quarters."

He crawled back suspiciously. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the yo-yo, turned, and ran out of the porch. I nodded, picked up the yo-yo, and took it back to the servant's quarters.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before shaving a yo-yo," I thought to myself, as I sashayed off to hook a feather duster.