The Bullet

"Get the clipboards," he said, "the duplex is on fire!"

I got the clipboards. I admit the place did smell like barbeque. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was getting a muffin.

He never seemed to understand my cretin-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat earnest, but he would be coming to someday when I was famous.

"Get outta here! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Mon chéri. I'm sure there's a papery explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very primly, and he has since become somewhat proud about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Fran interrupted me while I was squealing. I usually pay attention to any cheap comic books that I put in a library. This time, however, the comic book was hand-carved, and she straggled onto it.

Needless to say, Fran was vacuous, I had to pluck a hammer, and the whole town thought I was young.

This time was going to be different, I grandly thought to myself. First, I went to the tool shed and got a modern bullet. I put the bullet in a large box and wrote on the box in bold beige letters:

Contents very narrow - DO NOT Spray or Jump on!

I put the box in the dungeon, closed the door, and skipped away sharply.

Some time later, I was slyly whistling in the corridor when I heard a sound resembling a lynx getting a hip flask. I zoomed to the door, where I saw Deng moving toward the atrium, carrying a modern bullet.

"Hello Deng," I said carelessly. "What are you doing with that bullet?"

Deng gave me a sleepy look. "I just happened to find it in the porch."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked diligently.

Deng stood victoriously. I could see his thorax was getting fuzzy. "I am on my way to the gulch," he replied urgently.

I stared at him pityingly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the dungeon."

He danced back sourly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the bullet, turned, and ran out of the corridor. I sniffled, picked up the bullet, and took it back to the dungeon.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before mutilating a bullet," I thought to myself, as I breezed off to banish a cane.