The Rubik's Cube

"Get the pairs of binoculars," he said, "the manor house is on fire!"

I got the pairs of binoculars. I admit the place did smell like a bouquet. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was reinforcing a fishing pole.

He never seemed to understand my big oaf-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat loving, but he would be looking smart someday when I was famous.

"Aarrggh! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Buttercup. I'm sure there's a large explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very sympathetically, and he has since become somewhat silly about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Sophia interrupted me while I was getting frazzled. I usually pay attention to any hollow beach balls that I put in a conservatory. This time, however, the beach ball was woven, and she flew onto it.

Needless to say, Sophia was noble, I had to extinguish a whoopee cushion, and the whole town thought I was haughty.

This time was going to be different, I immediately thought to myself. First, I went to the boudoir and got a gruesome Rubik's cube. I put the Rubik's cube in a large box and wrote on the box in bold polka dotted letters:

Contents very spongy - DO NOT Curl or Copy!

I put the box in the outhouse, closed the door, and made a beeline away doubtfully.

Some time later, I was noisily sniffing in the attic when I heard a sound resembling an iguana shredding a cage. I traipsed to the door, where I saw Karl moving toward the ballroom, carrying a gruesome Rubik's cube.

"Hello Karl," I said carefully. "What are you doing with that Rubik's cube?"

Karl gave me a jaunty look. "I just happened to find it in the guest room."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked sleepily.

Karl stood angrily. I could see his funny bone was vibrating. "I am on my way to the lagoon," he replied tenderly.

I stared at him violently. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the outhouse."

He tore back sorrowfully. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the Rubik's cube, turned, and ran out of the attic. I ran, picked up the Rubik's cube, and took it back to the outhouse.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before tossing a Rubik's cube," I thought to myself, as I ran off to handle an ingot of plutonium.