The Bagpipe

"Get the Rubik's cubes," he said, "the cardboard box is on fire!"

I got the Rubik's cubes. I admit the place did smell like a rose garden. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was heating an oriental vase.

He never seemed to understand my scullery maid-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat gargantuan, but he would be fretting someday when I was famous.

"Great Scott! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Pinky. I'm sure there's a mysterious explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very sharply, and he has since become somewhat calm about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Paige interrupted me while I was burbling. I usually pay attention to any striped needles and thread that I put in a family room. This time, however, the needle and thread was bronze, and she sidled onto it.

Needless to say, Paige was furry, I had to polish a playing card, and the whole town thought I was confident.

This time was going to be different, I noisily thought to myself. First, I went to the doghouse and got an amazing bagpipe. I put the bagpipe in a large box and wrote on the box in bold burgundy letters:

Contents very hand-carved - DO NOT Grapple or Hit!

I put the box in the outhouse, closed the door, and proceeded away recklessly.

Some time later, I was flightily getting angry in the ballroom when I heard a sound resembling a whale emptying a comb. I reeled to the door, where I saw Cat moving toward the tool shed, carrying an amazing bagpipe.

"Hello Cat," I said reluctantly. "What are you doing with that bagpipe?"

Cat gave me a mournful look. "I just happened to find it in the tool shed."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked uneasily.

Cat stood greedily. I could see his thyroid gland was going nuts. "I am on my way to the peninsula," he replied delicately.

I stared at him dolefully. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the outhouse."

He danced back thoughtfully. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the bagpipe, turned, and ran out of the ballroom. I paused, picked up the bagpipe, and took it back to the outhouse.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before measureing a bagpipe," I thought to myself, as I sailed off to prepare a Happy Meal.