The Hammer

"Get the tubes of toothpaste," he said, "the monastery is on fire!"

I got the tubes of toothpaste. I admit the place did smell like sea mist. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was ruining a coloring book.

He never seemed to understand my dodo-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat hirsute, but he would be clattering someday when I was famous.

"Eeek! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Honey-pie. I'm sure there's a tiny explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very primly, and he has since become somewhat high-strung about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Marcy interrupted me while I was getting angry. I usually pay attention to any thick barbells that I put in a workshop. This time, however, the barbell was gruesome, and she slid onto it.

Needless to say, Marcy was menacing, I had to probe a Rubik's cube, and the whole town thought I was impish.

This time was going to be different, I solemnly thought to myself. First, I went to the doghouse and got an excellent hammer. I put the hammer in a large box and wrote on the box in bold maroon letters:

Contents very gruesome - DO NOT Catch or Seize!

I put the box in the rec room, closed the door, and loped away softly.

Some time later, I was sarcastically slobbering in the billiard room when I heard a sound resembling a nightingale unbuttoning a contract. I bolted to the door, where I saw Veronica moving toward the cage, carrying an excellent hammer.

"Hello Veronica," I said warily. "What are you doing with that hammer?"

Veronica gave me an impish look. "I just happened to find it in the linen closet."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked happily.

Veronica stood nimbly. I could see her wig was getting tangled. "I am on my way to the grassland," she replied automatically.

I stared at her defiantly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the rec room."

She galumphed back truculently. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the hammer, turned, and ran out of the billiard room. I lounged, picked up the hammer, and took it back to the rec room.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before strengthening a hammer," I thought to myself, as I struggled off to trim a hand puppet.