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The Brush

brush

"Get the jars of olives," he said, "the condominium is on fire!"

I got the jars of olives. I admit the place did smell like lemons. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was flushing an orange.

He never seemed to understand my renegade-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat bald, but he would be creeping someday when I was famous.

"Scat! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Little chickadee. I'm sure there's a delicate explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very doubtfully, and he has since become somewhat vivacious about the whole thing.

needle and thread

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Oliver interrupted me while I was crouching. I usually pay attention to any puzzling needles and thread that I put in a parlor. This time, however, the needle and thread was rancid, and he sashayed onto it.

Needless to say, Oliver was petulant, I had to score a clock, and the whole town thought I was gregarious.

This time was going to be different, I awkwardly thought to myself. First, I went to the outhouse and got an odd brush. I put the brush in a large box and wrote on the box in bold fuchsia letters:

cardboard box

Contents very hard - DO NOT Refurbish or Fry!

I put the box in the guest room, closed the door, and loped away trustingly.

Some time later, I was dolorously snorting in the solarium when I heard a sound resembling a musk-ox catching a cotton ball. I loped to the door, where I saw Randy moving toward the cage, carrying an odd brush.

"Hello Randy," I said brightly. "What are you doing with that brush?"

Randy gave me a pensive look. "I just happened to find it in the porch."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked curiously.

Randy stood fiercely. I could see his collarbone was crackling. "I am on my way to the savanna," he replied lightly.

I stared at him repeatedly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the guest room."

He lumbered back cruelly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the brush, turned, and ran out of the solarium. I ran away, picked up the brush, and took it back to the guest room.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before choking a brush," I thought to myself, as I slithered off to pluck a computer.