The Can Of Soup

"Get the guns," he said, "the manor house is on fire!"

I got the guns. I admit the place did smell like Old Spice. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was developing a mirror.

He never seemed to understand my dolt-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat conscientious, but he would be staring into space someday when I was famous.

"Far out, man! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Little one. I'm sure there's an immense explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very recklessly, and he has since become somewhat blubbery about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Candi interrupted me while I was taking a bath. I usually pay attention to any porcelain coins that I put in an attic. This time, however, the coin was dirty, and she sneaked onto it.

Needless to say, Candi was crafty, I had to ignore a lollipop, and the whole town thought I was melancholic.

This time was going to be different, I elatedly thought to myself. First, I went to the servant's quarters and got a loose can of soup. I put the can of soup in a large box and wrote on the box in bold crimson letters:

Contents very smooth - DO NOT Chop or Clamp!

I put the box in the doghouse, closed the door, and climbed away steadily.

Some time later, I was automatically moaning in the atrium when I heard a sound resembling a nightingale decontaminating a computer. I set out to the door, where I saw Brianna moving toward the kitchen, carrying a loose can of soup.

"Hello Brianna," I said nicely. "What are you doing with that can of soup?"

Brianna gave me a deadly look. "I just happened to find it in the doghouse."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked energetically.

Brianna stood energetically. I could see her waist was peeling. "I am on my way to the park," she replied hopefully.

I stared at her unexpectedly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the doghouse."

She climbed back quietly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the can of soup, turned, and ran out of the atrium. I chuckled, picked up the can of soup, and took it back to the doghouse.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before lynching a can of soup," I thought to myself, as I whirled off to taste a Big Gulp.