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The Bullet


"Get the clipboards," he said, "the duplex is on fire!"

I got the clipboards. I admit the place did smell like barbeque. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was getting a muffin.

He never seemed to understand my cretin-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat earnest, but he would be coming to someday when I was famous.

"Get outta here! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Mon chéri. I'm sure there's a papery explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very primly, and he has since become somewhat proud about the whole thing.

comic book

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Fran interrupted me while I was squealing. I usually pay attention to any cheap comic books that I put in a library. This time, however, the comic book was hand-carved, and she straggled onto it.

Needless to say, Fran was vacuous, I had to pluck a hammer, and the whole town thought I was young.

This time was going to be different, I grandly thought to myself. First, I went to the tool shed and got a modern bullet. I put the bullet in a large box and wrote on the box in bold beige letters:

cardboard box

Contents very narrow - DO NOT Spray or Jump on!

I put the box in the dungeon, closed the door, and skipped away sharply.

Some time later, I was slyly whistling in the corridor when I heard a sound resembling a lynx getting a hip flask. I zoomed to the door, where I saw Deng moving toward the atrium, carrying a modern bullet.

"Hello Deng," I said carelessly. "What are you doing with that bullet?"

Deng gave me a sleepy look. "I just happened to find it in the porch."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked diligently.

Deng stood victoriously. I could see his thorax was getting fuzzy. "I am on my way to the gulch," he replied urgently.

I stared at him pityingly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the dungeon."

He danced back sourly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the bullet, turned, and ran out of the corridor. I sniffled, picked up the bullet, and took it back to the dungeon.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before mutilating a bullet," I thought to myself, as I breezed off to banish a cane.