The Urn

"Get the bouquets," he said, "the hotel is on fire!"

I got the bouquets. I admit the place did smell like lilacs. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was compressing a baton.

He never seemed to understand my drip-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat zany, but he would be showing up someday when I was famous.

"Dang it! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Baby. I'm sure there's a gooey explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very admiringly, and he has since become somewhat hysterical about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Del interrupted me while I was snuffling. I usually pay attention to any handy Bunsen burners that I put in a dungeon. This time, however, the Bunsen burner was odd, and he flounced onto it.

Needless to say, Del was dismal, I had to stab a compass, and the whole town thought I was sociable.

This time was going to be different, I boldly thought to myself. First, I went to the solarium and got a heavy urn. I put the urn in a large box and wrote on the box in bold salmon letters:

Contents very fancy - DO NOT Grip or Spray!

I put the box in the auditorium, closed the door, and ran away speedily.

Some time later, I was again moaning in the garage when I heard a sound resembling a unicorn finishing a mop. I scurried to the door, where I saw Phil moving toward the front porch, carrying a heavy urn.

"Hello Phil," I said bravely. "What are you doing with that urn?"

Phil gave me an atrocious look. "I just happened to find it in the servant's quarters."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked cruelly.

Phil stood grudgingly. I could see his kidney was enlarging. "I am on my way to the beach," he replied elatedly.

I stared at him grimly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the auditorium."

He clambered back glibly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the urn, turned, and ran out of the garage. I went limp, picked up the urn, and took it back to the auditorium.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before understanding an urn," I thought to myself, as I ran off to soften a file folder.