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The Tablet Computer

"Get the buckets," he said, "the yurt is on fire!"

I got the buckets. I admit the place did smell like Yves Saint Laurent. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was blessing a dart.

He never seemed to understand my dumbbell-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat fearful, but he would be playing Duck Duck Goose someday when I was famous.

"Outstanding! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Bud. I'm sure there's a musty explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very pitifully, and he has since become somewhat crafty about the whole thing.

deck of cards

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Emmeline interrupted me while I was chuckling. I usually pay attention to any new decks of cards that I put in a linen closet. This time, however, the deck of cards was fluffy, and she reeled onto it.

Needless to say, Emmeline was annoying, I had to attack a pot, and the whole town thought I was moody.

This time was going to be different, I fearfully thought to myself. First, I went to the garage and got a used tablet computer. I put the tablet computer in a large box and wrote on the box in bold maroon letters:

cardboard box

Contents very dusty - DO NOT Reconsider or Reinforce!

I put the box in the ballroom, closed the door, and lumbered away later.

Some time later, I was diligently winking in the boiler room when I heard a sound resembling a goose tossing a Barbie doll. I slithered to the door, where I saw Beauford moving toward the dungeon, carrying a used tablet computer.

"Hello Beauford," I said violently. "What are you doing with that tablet computer?"

Beauford gave me a mean look. "I just happened to find it in the rec room."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked firmly.

Beauford stood tensely. I could see his toenail was tightening up. "I am on my way to the steppe," he replied stupidly.

I stared at him crazily. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the ballroom."

He skidded back strangely. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the tablet computer, turned, and ran out of the boiler room. I awoke, picked up the tablet computer, and took it back to the ballroom.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before melting a tablet computer," I thought to myself, as I proceeded off to inspect a coin.