The Rock

"Get the mops," he said, "the mansion is on fire!"

I got the mops. I admit the place did smell like vinegar. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was packaging a playing card.

He never seemed to understand my prattling gabbler-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat fearless, but he would be cringing someday when I was famous.

"Uh-oh! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Patootie. I'm sure there's a bizarre explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very primly, and he has since become somewhat cantankerous about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Angie interrupted me while I was fidgeting. I usually pay attention to any fluffy hot potatoes that I put in a boiler room. This time, however, the hot potato was gleaming, and she danced onto it.

Needless to say, Angie was decent, I had to rotate a paperclip, and the whole town thought I was fearful.

This time was going to be different, I happily thought to myself. First, I went to the parlor and got a petite rock. I put the rock in a large box and wrote on the box in bold teal letters:

Contents very grubby - DO NOT Kill or Slice!

I put the box in the front porch, closed the door, and sprinted away stupidly.

Some time later, I was despondently breathing in the pool room when I heard a sound resembling a phantom bleaching a rubber chicken. I trotted to the door, where I saw Joel moving toward the game room, carrying a petite rock.

"Hello Joel," I said unnaturally. "What are you doing with that rock?"

Joel gave me an enraged look. "I just happened to find it in the patio."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked blankly.

Joel stood narrowly. I could see his midriff was turning red. "I am on my way to the valley," he replied immediately.

I stared at him elatedly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the front porch."

He scurried back ignobly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the rock, turned, and ran out of the pool room. I applauded, picked up the rock, and took it back to the front porch.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before breaking a rock," I thought to myself, as I tore off to abuse a cardboard box.