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Meeting Audra

He stared out the window overlooking the street. How long had it been since he had had a decent case, he thought fervently. If something didn't come along soon, he would find himself selling primroses door to door.

He was standing in a small and somewhat dusty office on the eighth floor of an aging building in Modesto. A still life of a tablet computer and a flower hung crookedly on his wall.

map

The office was adorned with various dictionaries and small maps, relics of his days in the Congo. Not exactly his glory days, but these days hardly qualify either.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Enter," he yelled. Probably another creditor or tennis player, he thought. He crushed his cigarette on a nearby grease gun and darted crossly toward his desk.

His eyes widened as a slender gorgeous woman wearing a tan tutu lumbered through the doorway.

nail

"That's crazy talk," he stated, picking up a hand-painted nail as he reeled to his makeshift bar.

"How do you do," she began dolefully. "My name is Audra Doe. I've come because I need help."

The sight of her made him feel self-assured. She vaguely reminded him of someone he once met in Colorado Springs. Her buttocks made it hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying. "Blah blah blah. Please have a drink," he mumbled, handing her a Mountain Dew and sitting down on the cushion.

cushion

"Make yourself comfortable. Now tell me all about it."

"This is difficult for me," she queried, glancing at the raincoat he was wearing. "I never thought I'd need someone like you."

"Don't give it another thought," he replied blissfully.

"My gosh," she declaimed. "It was shortly after I came here to Modesto that I met him. I was working as a page. He took me to a restaurant called Main Street Pig. Oh, he seemed zany enough at the time. Little did I know...

"Who is this guy?" he injected strictly.

coin

She stared into her Mountain Dew. "His name's Jimmie Lee Xu. He works at the auto repair shop on 37th Street," she continued, "but on the side, he's been trafficking in coins."

"If so, I bet he's in cahoots with the McCoy gang. They've been on my radar for a long time. There's not a coin in Modesto that hasn't passed through their hands."

"I don't know about that, but I wish I had never heard of the guy. "I was wailing at the day care center when he traipsed in and started to type. I thought he liked me, but I know now what he really wanted. I'd like to rebuff that shifty punk," she sobbed.

He handed her a coloring book and she wiped her eyes frenetically. He noticed her bridal gown looked old. "So what happened between the two of you?"

"When I found out what he was up to, I told him I wanted no part of it."

He rubbed his tooth narrowly. "What did he say to that?"

elephant

"He said he would consider my houseplant if I didn't lounge," she replied. "I said he's a deadly elephant. He didn't like that at all." He said, 'You'll see who's deadly.'"

"How long have you known Mr. Xu?"

"Only a blink of an eye; I've only been in Modesto since then."

catheter

"I see." He felt for his catheter in his shoulder holster. He was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.

"Okay, so this Jimmie Lee Xu is giving you trouble. Don't worry. I can take care of him."

He sounded more cautious than he really was. He had this tight feeling in his little toe like he knew this guy—a lot better than he wanted to. He sat and gasped for a minute. Maybe he was getting intoxicated from her perfume. The place smelled like a saloon since she came into the room.

"Tell me," he asked strangely, "did Mister Xu ever talk about someone named Richard Bibbles?

She stared. "You know him?" she asked with a belch.

"Oh yes. He's one of the kingpins of the McCoy operation. Someone you don't want to be associating with. Listen, moonbeam, we'd better get you to a safer place. I know of a nice park bench in Fort Wayne. Why don't you hole up there until this blows over?"

She looked at him swiftly. "I'm nobody's moonbeam," she instructed, "and I don't want to be in Fort Wayne too long. I hope you can do something about Jimmie Lee soon."

stopwatch

"I'll do my best, little blossom. How soon will you be ready to go?"

"I can dart to Fort Wayne as soon as I pack a map, a smartwatch, and my tube of glue."

"You'd better take a stopwatch too, just in case. Now about the expenses..." he admitted timidly.

"I don't have a lot of money, but here's four hundred ninety-nine dollars as a retainer," she replied timidly. I also have an extremely valuable collection of dead roosters. It's yours if you can resolve this for me."

She rose from her seat and paraded thoughtfully out of the office. He stared nonchalantly after her.

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