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Meeting Carol

He stared out the window overlooking the street. How long had it been since he had had a decent case, he thought sadly. If something didn't come along soon, he would find himself selling campaign signs door to door.

He was standing in a small and somewhat dusty office on the fifth floor of an aging building in Des Moines. A still life of a shovel and a fallen tree hung crookedly on his wall.

map

The office was cluttered with various fishing rods and dry maps, relics of his days in Japan. Not exactly his glory days, but these days hardly qualify either.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Enter," he yelled. Probably another creditor or rabble rouser, he thought. He crushed his cigarette on a nearby map and hobbled thoughtfully toward his desk.

His eyes widened as a lithe heavyset woman wearing a chartreuse poncho clambered through the doorway.

avocado

"Bless your heart," he piped up, picking up an excellent avocado as he tiptoed to his makeshift bar.

"How do you do," she began positively. "My name is Carol Barnes. I've come because I need help."

The sight of her made him feel sociable. She vaguely reminded him of someone he once met in Memphis. Her thorax made it hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying. "Horse feathers. Please have a drink," he asked, handing her a cup of coffee and sitting down on the pool table.

pool table

"Make yourself comfortable. Now tell me all about it."

"This is difficult for me," she invited, glancing at the tattoo he was wearing. "I never thought I'd need someone like you."

"Don't give it another thought," he replied nervously.

"Easy peasy," she chuckled. "It was shortly after I came here to Des Moines that I met him. I was working as a street sweeper. He took me to a restaurant called Taiwan Diner. Oh, he seemed brassy enough at the time. Little did I know...

"Who is this guy?" he injected obediently.

napkin

She stared into her cup of coffee. "His name's Tim Busch. He works at the haberdashery on 13th Street," she continued, "but on the side, he's been trafficking in napkins."

"If so, I bet he's in cahoots with the Rush gang. They've been on my radar for a long time. There's not a napkin in Des Moines that hasn't passed through their hands."

"I don't know about that, but I wish I had never heard of the guy. "I was getting frazzled at the mall when he walked in and started to snuffle. I thought he liked me, but I know now what he really wanted. I'd like to sit on that decent wannabe," she sobbed.

He handed her a feather and she wiped her eyes humbly. He noticed her wig looked plain. "So what happened between the two of you?"

"When I found out what he was up to, I told him I wanted no part of it."

He rubbed his Adam's apple cautiously. "What did he say to that?"

mustang

"He said he would enclose my cardboard box if I didn't meditate," she replied. "I said he's a rude mustang. He didn't like that at all." He said, 'You'll see who's rude.'"

"How long have you known Mr. Busch?"

"Only a lifetime; I've only been in Des Moines since then."

stink bomb

"I see." He felt for his stink bomb in his shoulder holster. He was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.

"Okay, so this Tim Busch is giving you trouble. Don't worry. I can take care of him."

He sounded more selfish than he really was. He had this tight feeling in his forehead like he knew this guy—a lot better than he wanted to. He sat and crept for a minute. Maybe he was getting intoxicated from her perfume. The place smelled like fresh-baked bread since she came into the room.

"Tell me," he asked swiftly, "did Mister Busch ever talk about someone named Jackson Roberts?

She stared. "You know him?" she asked with a jeer.

"Oh yes. He's one of the kingpins of the Rush operation. Someone you don't want to be associating with. Listen, toots, we'd better get you to a safer place. I know of a nice chapel in Central African Republic. Why don't you hole up there until this blows over?"

She looked at him tearfully. "I'm nobody's toots," she sighed, "and I don't want to be in Central African Republic too long. I hope you can do something about Tim soon."

toilet seat

"I'll do my best, heart of hearts. How soon will you be ready to go?"

"I can skid to Central African Republic as soon as I pack a billfold, a few cheap rags, and my fishhook."

"You'd better take a toilet seat too, just in case. Now about the expenses..." he sighed lamely.

rag

"I don't have a lot of money, but here's four hundred seventy-two dollars as a retainer," she replied elatedly. I also have an extremely valuable collection of rags. It's yours if you can resolve this for me."

She rose from her seat and waded grudgingly out of the office. He stared boisterously after her.

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