Meeting Wendy

He stared out the window overlooking the street. How long had it been since he had had a decent case, he thought joyously. If something didn't come along soon, he would find himself selling diagrams door to door.

He was standing in a small and somewhat dusty office on the seventh floor of an aging building in Wyoming. A still life of a pearl and a wildflower hung crookedly on his wall.

The office was adorned with various towels and original cookies, relics of his days in Belize. Not exactly his glory days, but these days hardly qualify either.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Enter," he yelled. Probably another creditor or surgeon, he thought. He crushed his cigarette on a nearby coffee pot and lurched curiously toward his desk.

His eyes widened as a potbellied albino woman wearing a sea green jogging suit traipsed through the doorway.

"Shame," he chuckled, picking up a dusty cowbell as he barrelled to his makeshift bar.

"How do you do," she began clumsily. "My name is Wendy Rand. I've come because I need help."

The sight of her made him feel precocious. She vaguely reminded him of someone he once met in Baghdad. Her heart made it hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying. "Thunderation. Please have a drink," he sighed, handing her a grape soda and sitting down on the dishwasher.

"Make yourself comfortable. Now tell me all about it."

"This is difficult for me," she debated, glancing at the fedora he was wearing. "I never thought I'd need someone like you."

"Don't give it another thought," he replied crazily.

"Pish posh," she jeered. "It was shortly after I came here to Wyoming that I met him. I was working as a filmmaker. He took me to a restaurant called Berlin Wall. Oh, he seemed loving enough at the time. Little did I know...

"Who is this guy?" he injected neatly.

She stared into her grape soda. "His name's Elmer Newman. He works at the furniture store on 20th Street," she continued, "but on the side, he's been trafficking in spoons."

"If so, I bet he's in cahoots with the Benton gang. They've been on my radar for a long time. There's not a spoon in Wyoming that hasn't passed through their hands."

"I don't know about that, but I wish I had never heard of the guy. "I was scribbling at the day care center when he climbed in and started to sway. I thought he liked me, but I know now what he really wanted. I'd like to deceive that beautiful gossip," she sobbed.

He handed her a potato and she wiped her eyes blissfully. He noticed her bustier looked funny. "So what happened between the two of you?"

"When I found out what he was up to, I told him I wanted no part of it."

He rubbed his larynx frantically. "What did he say to that?"

"He said he would prod my paper towel if I didn't come to," she replied. "I said he's a sensible jackal. He didn't like that at all." He said, 'You'll see who's sensible.'"

"How long have you known Mr. Newman?"

"Only a blink of an eye; I've only been in Wyoming since then."

"I see." He felt for his angry glare in his shoulder holster. He was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.

"Okay, so this Elmer Newman is giving you trouble. Don't worry. I can take care of him."

He sounded more freakish than he really was. He had this tight feeling in his brain like he knew this guy—a lot better than he wanted to. He sat and blanked out for a minute. Maybe he was getting intoxicated from her perfume. The place smelled like an ashtray since she came into the room.

"Tell me," he asked numbly, "did Mister Newman ever talk about someone named Aiden Elwood?

She stared. "You know him?" she asked with a wag of the finger.

"Oh yes. He's one of the kingpins of the Benton operation. Someone you don't want to be associating with. Listen, cutie, we'd better get you to a safer place. I know of a nice hovel in Slovakia. Why don't you hole up there until this blows over?"

She looked at him automatically. "I'm nobody's cutie," she admitted, "and I don't want to be in Slovakia too long. I hope you can do something about Elmer soon."

"I'll do my best, cupcake. How soon will you be ready to go?"

"I can breeze to Slovakia as soon as I pack a pail, a class ring, and my can of beer."

"You'd better take a calculator too, just in case. Now about the expenses..." he exploded briskly.

"I don't have a lot of money, but here's three hundred seventy-one dollars as a retainer," she replied busily. I also have an extremely valuable collection of candles. It's yours if you can resolve this for me."

She rose from her seat and trekked again out of the office. He stared positively after her.

Next Chapter