Meeting Dinah

He stared out the window overlooking the street. How long had it been since he had had a decent case, he thought charmingly. If something didn't come along soon, he would find himself selling wastebaskets door to door.

He was standing in a small and somewhat dusty office on the sixth floor of an aging building in Austin. A still life of a Rubik's cube and a rock hung crookedly on his wall.

The office was cluttered with various bells and loose skulls, relics of his days in Bangladesh. Not exactly his glory days, but these days hardly qualify either.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Enter," he yelled. Probably another creditor or gravedigger, he thought. He crushed his cigarette on a nearby dog collar and barrelled zestily toward his desk.

His eyes widened as a lithe plump woman wearing a striped beehive sped through the doorway.

"Alleluia," he added, picking up a rare dictionary as he sashayed to his makeshift bar.

"How do you do," she began strictly. "My name is Dinah Nussbaum. I've come because I need help."

The sight of her made him feel tense. She vaguely reminded him of someone he once met in Gillette. Her tail made it hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying. "Egad. Please have a drink," he worried, handing her a gin and tonic and sitting down on the china hutch.

"Make yourself comfortable. Now tell me all about it."

"This is difficult for me," she provoked, glancing at the sundress he was wearing. "I never thought I'd need someone like you."

"Don't give it another thought," he replied perkily.

"Ssss," she brought up. "It was shortly after I came here to Austin that I met him. I was working as a government agent. He took me to a restaurant called Seaside Bowl. Oh, he seemed naïve enough at the time. Little did I know...

"Who is this guy?" he injected zestily.

She stared into her gin and tonic. "His name's Pedro Normal. He works at the candy store on 6th Street," she continued, "but on the side, he's been trafficking in fish."

"If so, I bet he's in cahoots with the Ford gang. They've been on my radar for a long time. There's not a fish in Austin that hasn't passed through their hands."

"I don't know about that, but I wish I had never heard of the guy. "I was sighing at the orchestra concert when he crept in and started to carry on. I thought he liked me, but I know now what he really wanted. I'd like to scream at that affable jerk," she sobbed.

He handed her a piece of chalk and she wiped her eyes recklessly. He noticed her surgical mask looked well worn. "So what happened between the two of you?"

"When I found out what he was up to, I told him I wanted no part of it."

He rubbed his midriff brashly. "What did he say to that?"

"He said he would load my magazine if I didn't beg," she replied. "I said he's a fearless hermit crab. He didn't like that at all." He said, 'You'll see who's fearless.'"

"How long have you known Mr. Normal?"

"Only an hour; I've only been in Austin since then."

"I see." He felt for his can opener in his shoulder holster. He was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.

"Okay, so this Pedro Normal is giving you trouble. Don't worry. I can take care of him."

He sounded more enthusiastic than he really was. He had this tight feeling in his pituitary gland like he knew this guy—a lot better than he wanted to. He sat and flinched for a minute. Maybe he was getting intoxicated from her perfume. The place smelled like rum since she came into the room.

"Tell me," he asked hysterically, "did Mister Normal ever talk about someone named Hugo Satterlee?

She stared. "You know him?" she asked with a wrinkled nose.

"Oh yes. He's one of the kingpins of the Ford operation. Someone you don't want to be associating with. Listen, pookie, we'd better get you to a safer place. I know of a nice housing project in Pittsburgh. Why don't you hole up there until this blows over?"

She looked at him sarcastically. "I'm nobody's pookie," she proposed, "and I don't want to be in Pittsburgh too long. I hope you can do something about Pedro soon."

"I'll do my best, mi amor. How soon will you be ready to go?"

"I can hobble to Pittsburgh as soon as I pack a ruler, a hat, and my oriental vase."

"You'd better take a coconut too, just in case. Now about the expenses..." he exclaimed majestically.

"I don't have a lot of money, but here's four hundred twenty-one dollars as a retainer," she replied coolly. I also have an extremely valuable collection of crystal balls. It's yours if you can resolve this for me."

She rose from her seat and strolled speedily out of the office. He stared unexpectedly after her.

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