Meeting Madelyn

He stared out the window overlooking the street. How long had it been since he had had a decent case, he thought uneasily. If something didn't come along soon, he would find himself selling vases door to door.

He was standing in a small and somewhat dusty office on the fifth floor of an aging building in Utah. A still life of a towel and a wolf track hung crookedly on his wall.

The office was adorned with various oranges and odd jars of olives, relics of his days in Pakistan. Not exactly his glory days, but these days hardly qualify either.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Enter," he yelled. Probably another creditor or cobbler, he thought. He crushed his cigarette on a nearby air compressor and struggled diligently toward his desk.

His eyes widened as a slinky elegant woman wearing a yellow belt buckle sashayed through the doorway.

"Dang," he winked, picking up a huge cigarette lighter as he made a beeline to his makeshift bar.

"How do you do," she began proudly. "My name is Madelyn Nix. I've come because I need help."

The sight of her made him feel ambitious. She vaguely reminded him of someone he once met in Mogadishu. Her shin made it hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying. "Ulp. Please have a drink," he hissed, handing her a glass of milk and sitting down on the footstool.

"Make yourself comfortable. Now tell me all about it."

"This is difficult for me," she shouted, glancing at the diaper he was wearing. "I never thought I'd need someone like you."

"Don't give it another thought," he replied furiously.

"I've had it," she spoke up. "It was shortly after I came here to Utah that I met him. I was working as a dog groomer. He took me to a restaurant called the Yummy Fortress. Oh, he seemed frumpy enough at the time. Little did I know...

"Who is this guy?" he injected fearfully.

She stared into her glass of milk. "His name's Cosmo Suzuki. He works at the pastry shop on 35th Street," she continued, "but on the side, he's been trafficking in bats."

"If so, I bet he's in cahoots with the Remington gang. They've been on my radar for a long time. There's not a bat in Utah that hasn't passed through their hands."

"I don't know about that, but I wish I had never heard of the guy. "I was getting away at the disco when he traipsed in and started to sniffle. I thought he liked me, but I know now what he really wanted. I'd like to apologize to that affable idiot," she sobbed.

He handed her a pink flamingo and she wiped her eyes jokingly. He noticed her pair of shoes looked hand-made. "So what happened between the two of you?"

"When I found out what he was up to, I told him I wanted no part of it."

He rubbed his toenail victoriously. "What did he say to that?"

"He said he would wiggle my basket if I didn't growl," she replied. "I said he's a resolute garter snake. He didn't like that at all." He said, 'You'll see who's resolute.'"

"How long have you known Mr. Suzuki?"

"Only a second; I've only been in Utah since then."

"I see." He felt for his photon torpedo in his shoulder holster. He was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.

"Okay, so this Cosmo Suzuki is giving you trouble. Don't worry. I can take care of him."

He sounded more coy than he really was. He had this tight feeling in his big toe like he knew this guy—a lot better than he wanted to. He sat and gesticulated for a minute. Maybe he was getting intoxicated from her perfume. The place smelled like smelling salts since she came into the room.

"Tell me," he asked cunningly, "did Mister Suzuki ever talk about someone named Cory Witherspoon?

She stared. "You know him?" she asked with a belch.

"Oh yes. He's one of the kingpins of the Remington operation. Someone you don't want to be associating with. Listen, patootie, we'd better get you to a safer place. I know of a nice condominium in New Orleans. Why don't you hole up there until this blows over?"

She looked at him uselessly. "I'm nobody's patootie," she fretted, "and I don't want to be in New Orleans too long. I hope you can do something about Cosmo soon."

"I'll do my best, sunshine. How soon will you be ready to go?"

"I can pad to New Orleans as soon as I pack a pom-pom, a tutu, and my fork."

"You'd better take a ball too, just in case. Now about the expenses..." he yelped lovingly.

"I don't have a lot of money, but here's three hundred dollars as a retainer," she replied suavely. I also have an extremely valuable collection of pictures. It's yours if you can resolve this for me."

She rose from her seat and bounced stupidly out of the office. He stared awkwardly after her.

Next Chapter