Meeting Esther

He stared out the window overlooking the street. How long had it been since he had had a decent case, he thought jokingly. If something didn't come along soon, he would find himself selling pillows door to door.

He was standing in a small and somewhat dusty office on the fourth floor of an aging building in Berlin. A still life of a clam and an apple tree hung crookedly on his wall. The office was adorned with various advertisements and abnormal pumpkins, relics of his days in Lithuania. Not exactly his glory days, but these days hardly qualify either.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Enter," he yelled. Probably another creditor or boat captain, he thought. He crushed his cigarette on a nearby spider and trekked calmly toward his desk.

His eyes widened as a gigantic bony woman wearing a white hat slithered through the doorway.

"My land," he screeched, picking up an electric bouquet as he lurched to his makeshift bar.

"How do you do," she began daintily. "My name is Esther Oldfather. I've come because I need help."

The sight of her made him feel garrulous. She vaguely reminded him of someone he once met in Pasadena. Her tummy made it hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying. "I'm on it. Please have a drink," he spat, handing her a Cuba libre and sitting down on the toilet.

"Make yourself comfortable. Now tell me all about it."

"This is difficult for me," she brought up, glancing at the skeleton costume he was wearing. "I never thought I'd need someone like you."

"Don't give it another thought," he replied calmly.

"Stinkers," she guessed. "It was shortly after I came here to Berlin that I met him. I was working as a snake charmer. He took me to a restaurant called the White Sushi. Oh, he seemed artistic enough at the time. Little did I know...

"Who is this guy?" he injected gingerly.

She stared into her Cuba libre. "His name's Eldon Bennett. He works at the art museum on 22nd Street," she continued, "but on the side, he's been trafficking in pop bottles."

"If so, I bet he's in cahoots with the Seymour gang. They've been on my radar for a long time. There's not a pop bottle in Berlin that hasn't passed through their hands."

"I don't know about that, but I wish I had never heard of the guy. "I was dressing up at the tanning salon when he trekked in and started to dress up. I thought he liked me, but I know now what he really wanted. I'd like to wrestle with that wizened fuddy-duddy," she sobbed.

He handed her a chart and she wiped her eyes ruefully. He noticed her heavy layer of makeup looked dusty. "So what happened between the two of you?"

"When I found out what he was up to, I told him I wanted no part of it."

He rubbed his carotid artery madly. "What did he say to that?"

"He said he would slash my ingot of plutonium if I didn't suffer," she replied. "I said he's a suave baboon. He didn't like that at all." He said, 'You'll see who's suave.'"

"How long have you known Mr. Bennett?"

"Only an eternity; I've only been in Berlin since then."

"I see." He felt for his blow pipe in his shoulder holster. He was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.

"Okay, so this Eldon Bennett is giving you trouble. Don't worry. I can take care of him."

He sounded more resolute than he really was. He had this tight feeling in his arm like he knew this guy—a lot better than he wanted to. He sat and hung around for a minute. Maybe he was getting intoxicated from her perfume. The place smelled like cherry pie since she came into the room.

"Tell me," he asked gingerly, "did Mister Bennett ever talk about someone named Garrett Richter?

She stared. "You know him?" she asked with a chortle.

"Oh yes. He's one of the kingpins of the Seymour operation. Someone you don't want to be associating with. Listen, hon, we'd better get you to a safer place. I know of a nice subway tunnel in Aurora. Why don't you hole up there until this blows over?"

She looked at him gingerly. "I'm nobody's hon," she declared, "and I don't want to be in Aurora too long. I hope you can do something about Eldon soon."

"I'll do my best, sweetheart. How soon will you be ready to go?"

"I can slump to Aurora as soon as I pack an amulet, a fur coat, and my elephant tusk."

"You'd better take a dictionary too, just in case. Now about the expenses..." he professed wryly.

"I don't have a lot of money, but here's four hundred seventeen dollars as a retainer," she replied majestically. I also have an extremely valuable collection of bouquets. It's yours if you can resolve this for me."

She rose from her seat and galumphed threateningly out of the office. He stared repeatedly after her.

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