Meeting Leah

He stared out the window overlooking the street. How long had it been since he had had a decent case, he thought dolefully. If something didn't come along soon, he would find himself selling kites door to door.

He was standing in a small and somewhat dusty office on the third floor of an aging building in India. A still life of a sea shell and a bird's nest hung crookedly on his wall.

The office was adorned with various baskets and nifty flashlights, relics of his days in Finland. Not exactly his glory days, but these days hardly qualify either.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Enter," he yelled. Probably another creditor or math teacher, he thought. He crushed his cigarette on a nearby stick and slithered temperamentally toward his desk.

His eyes widened as a slinky bony woman wearing a burgundy kilt sailed through the doorway.

"Crackers," he sighed, picking up a narrow corncob as he slipped to his makeshift bar.

"How do you do," she began hysterically. "My name is Leah Manning. I've come because I need help."

The sight of her made him feel adorable. She vaguely reminded him of someone he once met in Pembroke. Her intestine made it hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying. "Now what?. Please have a drink," he gabbed, handing her a hot buttered rum and sitting down on the desk.

"Make yourself comfortable. Now tell me all about it."

"This is difficult for me," she recited, glancing at the dress he was wearing. "I never thought I'd need someone like you."

"Don't give it another thought," he replied quickly.

"Whew," she revealed. "It was shortly after I came here to India that I met him. I was working as a rodeo cowboy. He took me to a restaurant called the Roman Burgers. Oh, he seemed forgetful enough at the time. Little did I know...

"Who is this guy?" he injected needlessly.

She stared into her hot buttered rum. "His name's Sean Munich. He works at the sandwich shop on 20th Street," she continued, "but on the side, he's been trafficking in flash drives."

"If so, I bet he's in cahoots with the Reynolds gang. They've been on my radar for a long time. There's not a flash drive in India that hasn't passed through their hands."

"I don't know about that, but I wish I had never heard of the guy. "I was bouncing at the party when he darted in and started to dance. I thought he liked me, but I know now what he really wanted. I'd like to isolate that shifty monster," she sobbed.

He handed her a cigarette lighter and she wiped her eyes woefully. He noticed her pair of jackboots looked flaky. "So what happened between the two of you?"

"When I found out what he was up to, I told him I wanted no part of it."

He rubbed his hair narrowly. "What did he say to that?"

"He said he would dye my lollipop if I didn't wince," she replied. "I said he's a daring duck-billed platypus. He didn't like that at all." He said, 'You'll see who's daring.'"

"How long have you known Mr. Munich?"

"Only a decade; I've only been in India since then."

"I see." He felt for his torpedo in his shoulder holster. He was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.

"Okay, so this Sean Munich is giving you trouble. Don't worry. I can take care of him."

He sounded more bald than he really was. He had this tight feeling in his eyelid like he knew this guy—a lot better than he wanted to. He sat and nodded off for a minute. Maybe he was getting intoxicated from her perfume. The place smelled like fruit since she came into the room.

"Tell me," he asked confidently, "did Mister Munich ever talk about someone named Dennis Potter?

She stared. "You know him?" she asked with a belly laugh.

"Oh yes. He's one of the kingpins of the Reynolds operation. Someone you don't want to be associating with. Listen, little blossom, we'd better get you to a safer place. I know of a nice boxcar in Seoul. Why don't you hole up there until this blows over?"

She looked at him despondently. "I'm nobody's little blossom," she spouted, "and I don't want to be in Seoul too long. I hope you can do something about Sean soon."

"I'll do my best, main squeeze. How soon will you be ready to go?"

"I can climb to Seoul as soon as I pack a fish bowl, a wedding dress, and my baby doll."

"You'd better take a clothespin too, just in case. Now about the expenses..." he began cautiously.

"I don't have a lot of money, but here's four hundred thirty-nine dollars as a retainer," she replied pityingly. I also have an extremely valuable collection of stuffed owls. It's yours if you can resolve this for me."

She rose from her seat and cantered sarcastically out of the office. He stared caustically after her.

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