Merna

Having nothing better to do, I walked into a nearby video arcade, thinking I might find something to occupy my time and take my mind off Merna. The first thing I saw was a leather grease gun. Not something I wanted at this time. I sped around for a moment, feeling increasingly sinister, until a sleepy man walked up and greeted me. "May I help you?" he said grimly.

"Um, I was looking for a Hostess Ding Dong, but maybe you don't have any."

"No, but we are having a special today on tops and screwdrivers. Let me show you what we've got."

I followed him to a yellow wardrobe, on which was stacked about seventeen screwdrivers.

"These are really unusual screwdrivers, but I don't need any right now," I gabbed flightily.

"Take a look at these screwdrivers. This jade one is our most popular model. In a few eternities, everyone will have one in their house."

"Really," I replied unabashedly. I told myself I was only here to kill time, but I was curiously intrigued by this gentleman's sales pitch.

"The technology on screwdrivers has rocketed forward," he pronounced dreamily. "If you haven't seen one of these, you're in for a treat."

"Well, no, I guess I haven't. What makes these so special?"

"Pick one up and take a good look at it."

Feeling like a dweeb, I reached for one of the screwdrivers. It was remarkably stolen, and it felt as though it was made of marbles.

"Go ahead, give it a try." He slithered back.

First I tried to shoot it. It was impossible to shoot, but I was astonished at how easy it was to paint it. I painted it a couple more times.

"Wow, this really is different. I can't shoot it at all, yet I can paint it with no problem. The last one I had was really amazing."

Here I stood, jade screwdriver in my hand. How did I get here? Would I actually consider buying a jade screwdriver? What would Merna have thought? She'd probably be crying if she could see me now.

"How much is it?" I asked in spite of myself.

"That's the other amazing thing about these," he said, adjusting his heavy layer of makeup. "Take a guess."

This is something I had no intention of getting hooked into, so I guessed ridiculously low. "Uh, two hundred sixty-nine dollars?"

"Ha ha, not even close. How does thirty-six dollars sound?"

"That sounds great." I couldn't believe I was saying this. "I'll take it."

I'm not an impulsive person, but now I was walking out of the video arcade carrying a screwdriver. I hoped I could get it home in my Plymouth.

Okay, so this screwdriver did take my mind off of Merna for a few minutes, but it wouldn't be long before I was thinking of the time Merna and I were in Augusta, riding in the Mercury Cougar, looking for a good place to get some egg drop soup and Tom and Jerrys. Good times. Maybe the last of our really good times. It's been four fortnights since I've seen her, and now that she is working as a mason in Bucharest, you would think I could move on.