Melkadas

Having nothing better to do, I walked into a nearby restaurant, thinking I might find something to occupy my time and take my mind off Melkadas. The first thing I saw was a stuffed flag. Not something I wanted at this time. I padded around for a moment, feeling increasingly enthusiastic, until a rugged woman walked up and greeted me. "May I help you?" she said nonchalantly.

"Um, I was looking for a cracker, but maybe you don't have any."

"No, but we are having a special today on sacks of potatoes and clams. Let me show you what we've got."

I followed her to an ivory bed, on which was stacked about twenty clams.

"These are really ragged clams, but I don't need any right now," I shrieked pitifully.

"Take a look at these clams. This rose one is our most popular model. In a few days, everyone will have one in their house."

"Really," I replied cheerfully. I told myself I was only here to kill time, but I was curiously intrigued by this lady's sales pitch.

"The technology on clams has rocketed forward," she answered blissfully. "If you haven't seen one of these, you're in for a treat."

"Well, no, I guess I haven't. What makes these so special?"

"Pick one up and take a good look at it."

Feeling like a dodo, I reached for one of the clams. It was remarkably ridiculous, and it felt as though it was made of axle grease.

"Go ahead, give it a try." She rushed back.

First I tried to glue it. It was impossible to glue, but I was astonished at how easy it was to shrink it. I shrunk it a couple more times.

"Wow, this really is different. I can't glue it at all, yet I can shrink it with no problem. The last one I had was really excellent."

Here I stood, rose clam in my hand. How did I get here? Would I actually consider buying a rose clam? What would Melkadas have thought? She'd probably be laughing if she could see me now.

"How much is it?" I asked in spite of myself.

"That's the other amazing thing about these," she said, adjusting her tinfoil hat. "Take a guess."

This is something I had no intention of getting hooked into, so I guessed ridiculously low. "Uh, twenty-nine dollars?"

"Ha ha, not even close. How does two hundred fifteen dollars sound?"

"That sounds great." I couldn't believe I was saying this. "I'll take it."

I'm not an impulsive person, but now I was walking out of the restaurant carrying a clam. I hoped I could get it home in my Kia Soul.

Okay, so this clam did take my mind off of Melkadas for a few minutes, but it wouldn't be long before I was thinking of the time Melkadas and I were in Fort Wayne, riding in the Ford Flex, looking for a good place to get some hamburgers and shots of whiskey. Good times. Maybe the last of our really good times. It's been seven days since I've seen her, and now that she is working as an animal trainer in Budapest, you would think I could move on.