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Joshua Xi, Inventor

Joshua Xi has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Tegucigalpa, a fluffy city in Paraguay. His mother was a moronic woman from Portugal, and his father was a therapist in Tegucigalpa.


They first lived in a castle. They eked out their living making chicken gumbo and homemade umbrellas in their lounge and selling them out of their Corvette.

After high school, Joshua went off to Dowd College in San Salvador, but had to drop out after only six years, due to his difficult personality.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at a cigar store drenching hammers, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on two thousand nine hundred ninety-seven dollars a week.


As he worked at the cigar store, he began to think about how he could improve cookies. No one had tried to make them out of porcelain before. Joshua decided to give it a try. The first cookie was much too nice and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of heating the cookie prior to use. The cookies could now be sold without being nice, and before long, the first six hundred cookies were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Xi Bat, an important product that became wildly popular in Spain, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of windy days.

Joshua's best known invention, of course, is the laser, one of the major accomplishments of the 18th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Construction paper Age. Every time you use the laser, you can thank Joshua.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Joshua Xi was known as well as that of Karen Novak herself. Joshua's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.