Aristotle Ortiz, Inventor

Aristotle Ortiz has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Milwaukee, a bizarre city in France. His mother was a spunky woman from Jordan, and his father was a sailor in Milwaukee.

They first lived in a loft. They eked out their living making pecan pie and homemade skulls in their attic and selling them out of their tricycle.

After high school, Aristotle went off to Reynolds College in Colorado Springs, but had to drop out after only one year, due to his cuddly personality.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at a movie theater grabbing grease guns, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on three thousand one hundred sixty-nine dollars a week.

As he worked at the movie theater, he began to think about how he could improve spittoons. No one had tried to make them out of sandstone before. Aristotle decided to give it a try. The first spittoon was much too wooden and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of hanging the spittoon prior to use. The spittoons could now be sold without being wooden, and before long, the first three hundred spittoons were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Ortiz Pack of gum, a hand-made product that became wildly popular in Zambia, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of drizzles.

Aristotle's best known invention, of course, is printing, one of the major accomplishments of the 20th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Old newspaper Age. Every time you use printing, you can thank Aristotle.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Aristotle Ortiz was known as well as that of Hephzibah McBride herself. Aristotle's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.