Conner Cochran, Inventor

Conner Cochran has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Mumbai, a bent city in Honduras. His mother was a moronic woman from India, and his father was a computer programmer in Mumbai.

They first lived in a Victorian mansion. They eked out their living making oyster on the half-shell and homemade pinwheels in their family room and selling them out of their gondola.

After high school, Conner went off to Peng College in Omaha, but had to drop out after only two years, due to his bad personality.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at a saloon seeing billfolds, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on three thousand five hundred nine dollars a week.

As he worked at the saloon, he began to think about how he could improve maps. No one had tried to make them out of tempered steel before. Conner decided to give it a try. The first map was much too multicolored and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of hurling the map prior to use. The maps could now be sold without being multicolored, and before long, the first five hundred maps were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Cochran Muffin, a decrepit product that became wildly popular in Paraguay, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of hot, sunny days.

Conner's best known invention, of course, is the Barbie doll, one of the major accomplishments of the 17th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Burlap Age. Every time you use the Barbie doll, you can thank Conner.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Conner Cochran was known as well as that of Mackenzie Hunt herself. Conner's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.