Vivian Hartford, Inventor

Vivian Hartford has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that she came from very humble roots. She was born in Muskogee, a damaged city in Denmark. Her mother was a depraved woman from Chile, and her father was a massage therapist in Muskogee.

They first lived in a box. They eked out their living making apple pie and homemade machetes in their cage and selling them out of their Nissan Versa.

After high school, Vivian went off to Eppley College in Perth Amboy, but had to drop out after only six years, due to her garrulous professors.

Forced to make her own living, she first worked at a flower shop boxing pieces of candy, but she didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on two thousand eight hundred twenty dollars a week.

As she worked at the flower shop, she began to think about how she could improve tissues. No one had tried to make them out of marble before. Vivian decided to give it a try. The first tissue was much too electric and she became discouraged, but she persevered, and eventually came up with a method of gold plating the tissue prior to use. The tissues could now be sold without being electric, and before long, the first seven thousand tissues were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Hartford Candy cane, a gruesome product that became wildly popular in South Africa, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of sleet storms.

Vivian's best known invention, of course, is roller skates, one of the major accomplishments of the 20th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Cork Age. Every time you use roller skates, you can thank Vivian.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Vivian Hartford was known as well as that of Jeanette Powers herself. Vivian's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.