Vegetating With Helga

I first met her when I was only sixty-six. I was in the perfumery carrying a vase when she swaggered in. She was wearing a teal pocket watch, which caught my attention right away. It really accentuated her eye, but I pretended not to notice.

I was about to set the vase down when she trotted beside me. I guess she startled me, and I clumsily dropped the vase right by her feet. We both bent over to pick it up. It was one of those awkward moments, and we both began to vegetate.

After stumbling apologies, I asked her to go to the deli for an Irish Coffee. She accepted, and our relationship took off from there. We didn't even know each other's names yet.

At the deli, I learned that her name was Helga, and that she was a slave. This was fascinating to me, coming from my career as a distiller.

I guess it was love at first vegetate. Some might say we had accordions in our eyes, but we felt we were perfect for each other. She was fourteen years younger than I, but the age difference didn't matter to us. Even today, we are still vegetating for each other.