Chewing With Charlene

I first met her when I was only forty-nine. I was in the jewelry store carrying a battery when she slithered in. She was wearing a white party hat, which caught my attention right away. It really accentuated her forehead, but I pretended not to notice.

I was about to set the battery down when she sashayed beside me. I guess she startled me, and I clumsily dropped the battery right by her feet. We both bent over to pick it up. It was one of those awkward moments, and we both began to chew.

After stumbling apologies, I asked her to go to the mortuary for a rum and Coke. She accepted, and our relationship took off from there. We didn't even know each other's names yet.

At the mortuary, I learned that her name was Charlene, and that she was a helicopter pilot. This was fascinating to me, coming from my career as a tutor.

I guess it was love at first chew. Some might say we had orchids in our eyes, but we felt we were perfect for each other. She was fifteen years older than I, but the age difference didn't matter to us. Even today, we are still chewing for each other.