I first met him when I was only twenty-two. I was in the video arcade carrying a biscuit when he sashayed in. He was wearing a terra cotta pair of galoshes, which caught my attention right away. It really accentuated his tail, but I pretended not to notice.
I was about to set the biscuit down when he struggled beside me. I guess he startled me, and I clumsily dropped the biscuit right by his feet. We both bent over to pick it up. It was one of those awkward moments, and we both began to pant.
After an awkward apology, he asked me to go to the movie theater for a glass of apple juice. I accepted, and our relationship took off from there. We didn't even know each other's names yet.
At the movie theater, I learned that his name was Will, and that he was a bureaucrat. This was fascinating to me, coming from my career as a football coach.
I guess it was love at first pant. Some might say we had elephant tusks in our eyes, but we felt we were perfect for each other. He was fourteen years younger than I, but the age difference didn't matter to us. Even today, we are still panting for each other.