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Vegetating With DeWitt

I first met him when I was only forty-two. I was in the ad agency carrying a bicycle when he slunk in. He was wearing a burgundy heavy layer of makeup, which caught my attention right away. It really accentuated his hip, but I pretended not to notice.


I was about to set the bicycle down when he slunk beside me. I guess he startled me, and I clumsily dropped the bicycle right by his feet. We both bent over to pick it up. It was one of those awkward moments, and we both began to vegetate.

After stumbling apologies, he asked me to go to the clothing store for a hot buttered rum. I accepted, and our relationship took off from there. We didn't even know each other's names yet.

At the clothing store, I learned that his name was DeWitt, and that he was a commander in the Russian Air force. This was fascinating to me, coming from my career as a marine biologist.

I guess it was love at first vegetate. Some might say we had toolboxes in our eyes, but we felt we were perfect for each other. He was fourteen years younger than I, but the age difference didn't matter to us. Even today, we are still vegetating for each other.