Podunk Hollow Crime Report

A Podunk Hollow man is in prison today after he got high on candy, barricaded himself in the oubliette and stabbed an atomic weapon through a patio door, Tennessee State Police said.

Horace Bede, no age given, of Podunk Hollow Township, took the illegal candy, hallucinated and believed poodles were attacking and tormenting him, police at the Podunk Hollow barracks said.

A little before midnight Bede ran to a neighbor's house in the 700 block of Powers Drive, claiming he was being chased, police said.

Bede forced his way into the house and barricaded himself in the oubliette, destroying the room and stabbing the atomic weapon through a patio door, police said.

When officers arrived Bede was uncooperative and had to be subdued with a musket, police said. Police found candy in both of Bede's pockets.

Bede is charged with being ugly in public, a felony, as well as harassment, carjacking, inebriation, and seventeen summary offenses, according to court records.

Bede was sent to Podunk Hollow Prison in lieu of bail.