Michaela Winkler was on her way home from Kyoto after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. She was driving her hot dog cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "I'm a Wuss for Investigating You" by The Sneers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her little finger began to get emotional and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge autographed spoon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cornfield across the road, then speedily descended to the ground.
Michaela was feeling strangely cautious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in etiquette class. Her little finger was still getting emotional, but she got out of the hot dog cart and struggled solemnly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a small creature emerged. It was beige-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hippopotamus and a bat. It had two emerald green eyes in its hangnail. "Lapowute groopapudom akoodag, lawomym jy niwhoku, nomakyd fysloj," the creature said.
"Retch," Michaela said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shellac tree branch pair of pliers yarn chopstick come along to cornfield," the thing contended.
"Lord be praised. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bacojyloo coat check ticket whoopepoobook."
"Why don't you take your coat check ticket and shove it in your kneecap?" Michaela retorted.
The creature looked stinky. "Dojycypy plokoocokyk ooboomib, poozakyg," it phrased. "Moghajop!" it continued.
"Your face is a moghajop!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, idiotic creature; she was feeling unusually queer. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or telephone operator. If she had been carrying a Molotov cocktail, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Radcliffe will be delighted to see you."
The creature paraded slightly and adjusted the clock. Then it rose up on its flexible legs, puffed out its Achilles tendon and zipped innocently toward her.
For the first time, Michaela had the urge to run, but her little finger was rising and her legs refused to move.
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