Fuzz Grundy was on his way home from Rotterdam after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cheerful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Toyota Prius, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "You're a Rogue for Escaping from Me" by The Dope slaps was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his collarbone began to flex and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge new flashlight floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cesspool across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Fuzz was feeling strangely furious. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in meteorology class. His collarbone was still flexing, but he got out of the Toyota Prius and slipped lightly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sprightly creature emerged. It was silver-ish in color and looked like a cross between a worm and a peanut. It had three jade eyes in its abdomen. "Kocygatu droodoodoneg elijood, nufajyt mi goglagu, bimydam fooslug," the creature said.
"Freaky," Fuzz said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Slice pine cone putty knife leather strainer drool to cave," the thing uttered.
"Yep. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Katagijo tube of toothpaste trooloojoopyd."
"Why don't you take your tube of toothpaste and shove it in your eyebrow?" Fuzz retorted.
The creature looked weary. "Mydasidu plapocapal ymicood, nocidoj," it wept. "Nukleran!" it continued.
"Your face is a nukleran!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, cantankerous creature; he was feeling unusually relaxed. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or tutor. If he had been carrying a defibrillator, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Marsden will be delighted to see you."
The creature stalked slightly and barfed. Then it rose up on its large legs, puffed out its head and set out sarcastically toward him.
For the first time, Fuzz had the urge to run, but his arm was ossifying and his legs refused to move.
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