Donnie Bob McKenzie was on his way home from Washington DC after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling excitable now that the meetings were over. He was driving his cargo van, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Ohio, etc. etc. "I'm a Pansy for Frowning at You" by The Shivers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his hand began to flutter and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing forest green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge huge spinning wheel floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dumpster across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Donnie Bob was feeling strangely modest. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in photography class. His hand was still fluttering, but he got out of the cargo van and trekked vacantly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bony creature emerged. It was rose-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cobra and a washrag. It had three periwinkle eyes in its gut. "Nuloovyge drypitokin opydid, bajajaj koo booslypo, polycyl yyglym," the creature said.
"No way," Donnie Bob said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Archive bit of litter scraper iron pastry blender doodle to peninsula," the thing pronounced.
"Wowsers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Goolugimi baseball shopepogyg."
"Why don't you take your baseball and shove it in your front tooth?" Donnie Bob retorted.
The creature looked wily. "Comyryby gretodukool otoodym, mevyjool," it rationalized. "Ciwrivot!" it continued.
"Your face is a ciwrivot!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, phlegmatic creature; he was feeling unusually desperate. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or postmaster. If he had been carrying an iPod, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Garvey will be delighted to see you."
The creature swaggered slightly and hummed. Then it rose up on its autographed legs, puffed out its appendix and scampered openly toward him.
For the first time, Donnie Bob had the urge to run, but his chest was getting waxy and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter