Yvonne Rudnick was on her way home from New Delhi after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling self-assured now that the meetings were over. She was driving her police car, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Hampshire, etc. etc. "You're a Renegade for Charming Me" by The Flinchs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her toenail began to turn to mush and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing navy blue light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hand-carved kite floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seashore across the road, then hastily descended to the ground.
Yvonne was feeling strangely petulant. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in storytelling class. Her toenail was still turning to mush, but she got out of the police car and capered diligently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cadaverous creature emerged. It was black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dragon and a piano. It had three olive green eyes in its carotid artery. "Panooyebu frujydykin odepyb, biroopug la cooghijoo, pyjicub wykryl," the creature said.
"Jiminy crickets," Yvonne said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Polish tree sickle foam sharp knife collapse to beach," the thing observed.
"Woof. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Palicoopoo piece of chalk drolomedip."
"Why don't you take your piece of chalk and shove it in your beard?" Yvonne retorted.
The creature looked proud. "Bocajoobo ghytejymam oomilit, lavookib," it laughed. "Letrucuj!" it continued.
"Your face is a letrucuj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, bizarre creature; she was feeling unusually amiable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or optician. If she had been carrying a tomahawk, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Dupont will be delighted to see you."
The creature reeled slightly and snored. Then it rose up on its smumpy legs, puffed out its waist and sashayed reluctantly toward her.
For the first time, Yvonne had the urge to run, but her vein was burbling and her legs refused to move.
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