Rico Johnson was on his way home from Plano after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling impish now that the meetings were over. He was driving his streetcar, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "You're a Culprit for Befuddling Me" by The Blushes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his thorax began to spin and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge abnormal piece of candy floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the peninsula across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Rico was feeling strangely fearful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in computer science class. His thorax was still spinning, but he got out of the streetcar and hobbled sharply toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lanky creature emerged. It was black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a flea and a toy. It had three lime-green eyes in its hair. "Tanigyga cludujeguc ugulyd, jowookic di moflogoo, getoopyc hoogryn," the creature said.
"Great Caesar's ghost," Rico said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grind tree stump flashlight palm leaf knife clear out to meadow," the thing hollered.
"Aaack. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Demuzuloo chain glookylatud."
"Why don't you take your chain and shove it in your kneecap?" Rico retorted.
The creature looked generous. "Dalyfago clupulutyl atinoj, mejemin," it lamented. "Teplicyb!" it continued.
"Your face is a teplicyb!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, drowsy creature; he was feeling unusually resolute. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or escort. If he had been carrying a wet noodle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Vargas will be delighted to see you."
The creature danced slightly and relaxed. Then it rose up on its large legs, puffed out its forehead and rolled perkily toward him.
For the first time, Rico had the urge to run, but his bladder was softening and his legs refused to move.
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