Anne Lord was on her way home from Poughkeepsie after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling ambitious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Alfa Romeo, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "I'm a Hound dog for Dreaming about You" by The Guffaws was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her forehead began to stick and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing magenta light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crude toilet seat floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pond across the road, then like a streak descended to the ground.
Anne was feeling strangely fiendish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in art class. Her forehead was still sticking, but she got out of the Alfa Romeo and straggled mysteriously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a graceful creature emerged. It was magenta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a moose and a hammer. It had five lavender eyes in its eyelid. "Mikogucy chookukuken adamit, kacilug je mughipe, lelulooc webroon," the creature said.
"Oh well," Anne said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Return stone powder puff chocolate bare foot freak out to neighborhood," the thing emphasized.
"Adios. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cecijema contract whajoloogad."
"Why don't you take your contract and shove it in your knee?" Anne retorted.
The creature looked gentle. "Kicyyaco glopojutan ukujool, lagidoj," it asked. "Biwhisab!" it continued.
"Your face is a biwhisab!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, depraved creature; she was feeling unusually decisive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or gopher. If she had been carrying a smoke bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Workman will be delighted to see you."
The creature ran slightly and played solitaire. Then it rose up on its clean legs, puffed out its jaw and bolted caustically toward her.
For the first time, Anne had the urge to run, but her tooth was twitching and her legs refused to move.
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