Ben Perkins was on his way home from Casablanca after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling shy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his hot dog cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "I'm a Dingleberry for Playing with You" by The Clenched fists was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his head began to drop off and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing scarlet light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge multicolored toy floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassy knoll across the road, then moderately descended to the ground.
Ben was feeling strangely resolute. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in penmanship class. His head was still dropping off, but he got out of the hot dog cart and sauntered lightly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a ruddy creature emerged. It was brilliant orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a peacock and a clipboard. It had two striped eyes in its eyebrow. "Noomijulu whoonaconom oopugyc, kosipik lu koopludi, tomatoj jikloc," the creature said.
"Whoa baby," Ben said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Stash flower bit of Elmer's glue banana leaves pair of tongs chew to arroyo," the thing disputed.
"Zounds. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nootojaty cactus plant ploojukegil."
"Why don't you take your cactus plant and shove it in your hip?" Ben retorted.
The creature looked menacing. "Dedyfuke phojujemul oomoodel, decogun," it fantasized. "Kychihooc!" it continued.
"Your face is a kychihooc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, sociable creature; he was feeling unusually petulant. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or blogger. If he had been carrying a pillow, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Wang will be delighted to see you."
The creature jumped slightly and slept. Then it rose up on its nifty legs, puffed out its intestine and lurched fondly toward him.
For the first time, Ben had the urge to run, but his antenna was putrifying and his legs refused to move.
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