Lorrie Rawlings was on her way home from San Antonio after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling decisive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her magic carpet, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "You're an Oddball for Slapping Me" by The Raspberries was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her head began to shine and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing beige light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge jagged pom-pom floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the desert across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Lorrie was feeling strangely irate. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in penmanship class. Her head was still shining, but she got out of the magic carpet and flounced flightily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a heavyset creature emerged. It was silver-ish in color and looked like a cross between a buzzard and a padlock. It had six metallic red eyes in its spleen. "Dudayoota thukadoogoop otetyt, nuwootyc ma lychebe, godikil yoslog," the creature said.
"LOL," Lorrie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Rebuild tree stump eyelash curler yarn meat tenderizer mutter to pond," the thing began.
"Pish posh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mojegyboo painting quucipegig."
"Why don't you take your painting and shove it in your pancreas?" Lorrie retorted.
The creature looked moody. "Tegysatoo plygogunep upoobud, jihootup," it swore. "Booshogob!" it continued.
"Your face is a booshogob!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, daring creature; she was feeling unusually daring. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or inventor. If she had been carrying a lasso, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Higgins will be delighted to see you."
The creature trekked slightly and ran away. Then it rose up on its smelly legs, puffed out its nose and trotted majestically toward her.
For the first time, Lorrie had the urge to run, but her chest was waving and her legs refused to move.
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