Edwin Grover was on his way home from Winston-Salem after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling shy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Toyota Prius, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oregon, etc. etc. "You're a Nag for Aweing Me" by The Power fists was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his skull began to mold and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing scarlet light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crooked wastebasket floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the peninsula across the road, then screamingly descended to the ground.
Edwin was feeling strangely tired. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in political science class. His skull was still molding, but he got out of the Toyota Prius and paraded intensely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lanky creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a flamingo and a teacup. It had three periwinkle eyes in its thumb. "Tobuvaci krygopoojok ejidook, poocucom pi moofloogo, gygegook rughut," the creature said.
"When pigs fly," Edwin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Cover tree stump razor blade cotton oven mitt talk to ridge," the thing urged.
"I'll bet. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Botoofekoo tote bag slanoomukyg."
"Why don't you take your tote bag and shove it in your eyebrow?" Edwin retorted.
The creature looked haughty. "Gicuginu ghunoobotel elootim, dagybam," it simpered. "Joklogyp!" it continued.
"Your face is a joklogyp!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, merry creature; he was feeling unusually calm. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or drummer. If he had been carrying a cleaver, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Norris will be delighted to see you."
The creature strolled slightly and crept. Then it rose up on its striking legs, puffed out its jaw and clambered steadily toward him.
For the first time, Edwin had the urge to run, but his pinky was jerking and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter