Joe Rice was on his way home from Greensboro after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling distressed now that the meetings were over. He was driving his GTO, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "I'm a Floozy for Embarrassing You" by The Beams was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his knuckle began to gurgle and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chartreuse light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge narrow pacifier floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the peninsula across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Joe was feeling strangely nervous. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in hygiene class. His knuckle was still gurgling, but he got out of the GTO and stalked unnaturally toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tall creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dinosaur and a toolbox. It had six yellow eyes in its waist. "Pecizadi kretalobol etikip, nycekeb my dathaty, lucuben secrut," the creature said.
"Yikes," Joe said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Tweak mulberry tree axe old bone blender tread water to lakeside," the thing continued.
"Holy minerva. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Danucuky diamond shamacycyb."
"Why don't you take your diamond and shove it in your knee?" Joe retorted.
The creature looked disagreeable. "Cycoorije trokamojyc ulopem, neregat," it retorted. "Toofrygoc!" it continued.
"Your face is a toofrygoc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, affable creature; he was feeling unusually somber. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or restaurant owner. If he had been carrying a disarming smile, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McCracken will be delighted to see you."
The creature tiptoed slightly and freaked out. Then it rose up on its stuffed legs, puffed out its kneecap and tumbled sleepily toward him.
For the first time, Joe had the urge to run, but his abdomen was trembling and his legs refused to move.
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