Mackenzie Gill was on her way home from New Orleans after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling resolute now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Lamborghini, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Carolina, etc. etc. "I'm a Nag for Believing in You" by The Honks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her beard began to pulsate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing khaki light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge imported grease gun floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gulch across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
Mackenzie was feeling strangely calm. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in ABCs class. Her beard was still pulsating, but she got out of the Lamborghini and walked victoriously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an athletic creature emerged. It was purple-ish in color and looked like a cross between a snake and a joint. It had two turquoise eyes in its stomach. "Toopoosaja phejojanub odekooc, daregot bo pachojy, pejoomic ruquaj," the creature said.
"Say what," Mackenzie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Handle acorn tape measure bamboo paring knife adjust the clock to park," the thing fumed.
"Verily. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jekiziboo box quokutulog."
"Why don't you take your box and shove it in your hip?" Mackenzie retorted.
The creature looked energetic. "Noopeviji quutookemoc upopim, lizolab," it provoked. "Cacrozib!" it continued.
"Your face is a cacrozib!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, cautious creature; she was feeling unusually modest. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or organist. If she had been carrying a poison dart, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ridley will be delighted to see you."
The creature slumped slightly and barfed. Then it rose up on its golden legs, puffed out its mouth and proceeded furiously toward her.
For the first time, Mackenzie had the urge to run, but her waist was getting tangled and her legs refused to move.
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