Abraham Higgenbottom was on his way home from Fort Worth after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling sarcastic now that the meetings were over. He was driving his hovercraft, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "You're a Knucklehead for Dancing with Me" by The Hiccups was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his hoof began to dissolve and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing metallic red light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge puzzling plaque floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the field across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
Abraham was feeling strangely peculiar. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in astrology class. His hoof was still dissolving, but he got out of the hovercraft and flounced stealthily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a redheaded creature emerged. It was white-ish in color and looked like a cross between a chipmunk and a yo-yo. It had two fuchsia eyes in its thyroid gland. "Lonezito fruketegoj adacil, tahidug ge niwhigo, dugemyb voflil," the creature said.
"Eureka," Abraham said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bake spider web bolt cutter wattle and daub mixing spoon play solitaire to pasture," the thing provoked.
"Yummy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gacooropa pearl ghujalogib."
"Why don't you take your pearl and shove it in your elbow?" Abraham retorted.
The creature looked megalomaniacal. "Jicufojo whujoocebop oomukooc, dafoolyl," it purred. "Paslizoom!" it continued.
"Your face is a paslizoom!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, self-confident creature; he was feeling unusually pensive. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or biologist. If he had been carrying a bullwhip, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Broghammer will be delighted to see you."
The creature swaggered slightly and hummed. Then it rose up on its burned legs, puffed out its vein and inched threateningly toward him.
For the first time, Abraham had the urge to run, but his leg was getting stiff and his legs refused to move.
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