Jeremy Blanco was on his way home from Stockholm after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling dapper now that the meetings were over. He was driving his forklift, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Colorado, etc. etc. "You're a Hoodlum for Overlooking Me" by The Snickers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his hoof began to jam up and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing camouflage light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge dry flute floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the neighborhood across the road, then diligently descended to the ground.
Jeremy was feeling strangely suave. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in citizenship class. His hoof was still jamming up, but he got out of the forklift and breezed dreamily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an olive creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cocker spaniel and an avocado. It had eight blue eyes in its foot. "Boduwepo ghotobunoop odygap, javomet de kykroola, nelujub zaglooc," the creature said.
"Yipes," Jeremy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Stabilize tree stump jigsaw vinyl knife cringe to landfill," the thing sniveled.
"Tut-tut. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Munejobo stash of bribe money brubijoonoot."
"Why don't you take your stash of bribe money and shove it in your toupee?" Jeremy retorted.
The creature looked atrocious. "Botojacoo frylumocij ugotud, tecicic," it answered. "Takluweg!" it continued.
"Your face is a takluweg!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, powerful creature; he was feeling unusually self-confident. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or tax collector. If he had been carrying an air horn, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Rivera will be delighted to see you."
The creature sauntered slightly and looked dumb. Then it rose up on its striped legs, puffed out its wrist and pranced diligently toward him.
For the first time, Jeremy had the urge to run, but his earlobe was turning green and his legs refused to move.
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