Deng Lincoln was on his way home from Phoenix after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling lethargic now that the meetings were over. He was driving his ATV, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "You're an Ignoramous for Correcting Me" by The Sniffs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his nostril began to go to pieces and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing periwinkle light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge well worn pacifier floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seacoast across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Deng was feeling strangely irate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in penmanship class. His nostril was still going to pieces, but he got out of the ATV and inched lightly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dinky creature emerged. It was amber-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gerbil and a paper clip. It had three chartreuse eyes in its toupee. "Gutefule drujejatub ootobat, toovucad ba jyflekoo, lamepat wyplip," the creature said.
"At last," Deng said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Patch deer track pair of pliers block of ice egg cutter cry to river," the thing exclaimed.
"Gosh almighty. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Topicokoo sack wroodudupim."
"Why don't you take your sack and shove it in your skull?" Deng retorted.
The creature looked fiendish. "Tapaveje broocatubil atikib, noohylib," it agreed. "Dyplirip!" it continued.
"Your face is a dyplirip!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, annoying creature; he was feeling unusually crafty. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or architect. If he had been carrying a roll of duct tape, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Binkley will be delighted to see you."
The creature made a beeline slightly and fidgeted. Then it rose up on its electronic legs, puffed out its ear and slipped doubtfully toward him.
For the first time, Deng had the urge to run, but his thumb was coming off and his legs refused to move.
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