Tyler Ortiz was on his way home from Chandler after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cruel now that the meetings were over. He was driving his bobsled, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "You're a Wingnut for Enlightening Me" by The Snuffles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his front tooth began to falter and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing scarlet light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge excellent paperclip floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the treetop across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Tyler was feeling strangely hysterical. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in astrology class. His front tooth was still faltering, but he got out of the bobsled and swaggered pitifully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gaunt creature emerged. It was olive drab-ish in color and looked like a cross between a falcon and a baseball bat. It had eight silver eyes in its abdomen. "Loodirupo whadopipool eloolyt, kacujit bi cyghigoo, digicij zythook," the creature said.
"Fribblenootums," Tyler said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Poke mulberry tree feather duster platinum chopstick get frazzled to stream," the thing whined.
"Ahem. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lecicoomy tennis racket flagalokoog."
"Why don't you take your tennis racket and shove it in your eyelid?" Tyler retorted.
The creature looked relaxed. "Binezedy phinanimuc ejoolib, goovepoot," it avowed. "Deghayek!" it continued.
"Your face is a deghayek!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, depraved creature; he was feeling unusually brash. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or jazz musician. If he had been carrying a firecracker, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Griggs will be delighted to see you."
The creature slipped slightly and chewed. Then it rose up on its gleaming legs, puffed out its spine and went fervently toward him.
For the first time, Tyler had the urge to run, but his horn was glowing and his legs refused to move.
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