Jack Zhu was on his way home from Athens after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling calm now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Lamborghini, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Dodo for Smacking Me" by The Cringes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his antenna began to calcify and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aqua light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge grubby pot floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the crime scene across the road, then nimbly descended to the ground.
Jack was feeling strangely merry. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in traditional medicine class. His antenna was still calcifying, but he got out of the Lamborghini and cantered blindly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a smallish creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mountain goat and a chair. It had eight grey eyes in its ear. "Nebegooke dredagujej okukyb, jusedom je pychety, mootodig jookrab," the creature said.
"Poppycock," Jack said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pulverize acorn crowbar Bakelite melon baller wail to steppe," the thing proposed.
"Geez Louise. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pugiyidoo clothespin flijidogug."
"Why don't you take your clothespin and shove it in your ear?" Jack retorted.
The creature looked sarcastic. "Cigifoojy phunokobut oocodood, tazyjal," it roared. "Nucrafoog!" it continued.
"Your face is a nucrafoog!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, irate creature; he was feeling unusually brash. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or mechanic. If he had been carrying a dagger, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hudson will be delighted to see you."
The creature blundered slightly and came over. Then it rose up on its fresh legs, puffed out its hairdo and jumped truculently toward him.
For the first time, Jack had the urge to run, but his pituitary gland was dripping and his legs refused to move.
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