Geraldine Wells was on her way home from Sapporo after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling desperate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Dodge Charger, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "You're a Baby for Castigating Me" by The Caresses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her stomach began to sting and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing purple light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge curved cracker floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the neighborhood across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Geraldine was feeling strangely timid. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in deportment class. Her stomach was still stinging, but she got out of the Dodge Charger and bounced repeatedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sorrowful creature emerged. It was tan-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cheetah and a Kindle. It had six white eyes in its tummy. "Gykewabe troopapuboom agumal, gecycoon poo lawroloo, koolitum cufruc," the creature said.
"My land," Geraldine said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Sharpen piece of bark squeegee wood slotted spoon chatter to countryside," the thing cried.
"Oops. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mynogemoo stamp chokijytyg."
"Why don't you take your stamp and shove it in your brain?" Geraldine retorted.
The creature looked brazen. "Koomawoole crujootoopoop akucem, luwokap," it scoffed. "Poogloreb!" it continued.
"Your face is a poogloreb!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, mournful creature; she was feeling unusually merry. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or rocket scientist. If she had been carrying a wet washrag, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Frankle will be delighted to see you."
The creature lumbered slightly and barked. Then it rose up on its rough legs, puffed out its shin and bounced steadily toward her.
For the first time, Geraldine had the urge to run, but her tooth was turning yellow and her legs refused to move.
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