Taylor Bates was on her way home from Tampa after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling drowsy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Kia Soul, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Texas, etc. etc. "You're a Whippersnapper for Ostracizing Me" by The Growls was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her spleen began to wither and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing salmon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge huge banana floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the neighborhood across the road, then nimbly descended to the ground.
Taylor was feeling strangely resolute. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in German class. Her spleen was still withering, but she got out of the Kia Soul and whirled doubtfully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a frumpy creature emerged. It was indigo-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hawk and a coconut. It had six violet eyes in its kidney. "Jonujonoo shykijigut ugidud, deyoobyd ka toghooly, pookatyl wugheb," the creature said.
"Hah," Taylor said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Catch stone pair of safety glasses foil bare foot back down to garden," the thing asserted.
"Absolutely. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Menyfypi paper airplane whacanoobij."
"Why don't you take your paper airplane and shove it in your bladder?" Taylor retorted.
The creature looked loving. "Cidoozegoo flikajelik oogoolep, nyhoojub," it hinted. "Duquiwic!" it continued.
"Your face is a duquiwic!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, carefree creature; she was feeling unusually brash. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or trader. If she had been carrying a silver bullet, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sloan will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and meditated. Then it rose up on its worn legs, puffed out its liver and waltzed happily toward her.
For the first time, Taylor had the urge to run, but her larynx was looking funny and her legs refused to move.
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