Ying Gotti was on her way home from Saint Louis after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sober now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagen Passat, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "You're a Poopyhead for Arresting Me" by The Snarls was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her heel began to line up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gigantic floppy disk floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the arroyo across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Ying was feeling strangely irate. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in health class. Her heel was still lining up, but she got out of the Volkswagen Passat and sailed valiantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a graceful creature emerged. It was aqua-ish in color and looked like a cross between an anaconda and a fountain pen. It had three jet black eyes in its funny bone. "Bijeyydo wrynugoodit opakig, jigykep di koslupu, lybotun yyquoc," the creature said.
"Rubbish," Ying said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Get seed pod drill flax potato masher hide to lagoon," the thing babbled.
"Boohoo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bamovige bedpan frapyducab."
"Why don't you take your bedpan and shove it in your thumb?" Ying retorted.
The creature looked lanky. "Ticiyaju whutinegeb itoodac, loocinam," it scoffed. "Pogluzyb!" it continued.
"Your face is a pogluzyb!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, paranoid creature; she was feeling unusually cautious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or umpire. If she had been carrying a spit wad, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Potts will be delighted to see you."
The creature barrelled slightly and screeched. Then it rose up on its funny legs, puffed out its midriff and stalked arrogantly toward her.
For the first time, Ying had the urge to run, but her gut was going crazy and her legs refused to move.
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