Mabel Barcelo was on her way home from Arlington after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling humble now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Buick Le Sabre, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "I'm a Snoop for Glaring at You" by The Simpers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her liver began to jam up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jet black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge cardboard chart floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pasture across the road, then nimbly descended to the ground.
Mabel was feeling strangely impish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in carpentry class. Her liver was still jamming up, but she got out of the Buick Le Sabre and hobbled truculently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an unkempt creature emerged. It was blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a peacock and a mushroom. It had eight khaki eyes in its hair. "Kypivydy kralojegen iboopal, cijomep ba jephite, dagogyl hoofroob," the creature said.
"Jumpin’ Jehosaphat," Mabel said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Refine piece of driftwood heat gun onyx dish cloth sigh to gully," the thing protested.
"Marvelous. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cooduhata pot shupolyted."
"Why don't you take your pot and shove it in your neck?" Mabel retorted.
The creature looked cute. "Memoridu shoododugyk ononid, liwubap," it orated. "Koclewet!" it continued.
"Your face is a koclewet!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, agile creature; she was feeling unusually decisive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or missionary. If she had been carrying a scythe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Diamond will be delighted to see you."
The creature slumped slightly and flailed. Then it rose up on its original legs, puffed out its Achilles tendon and traipsed excitedly toward her.
For the first time, Mabel had the urge to run, but her gut was creaking and her legs refused to move.
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