Midge Black was on her way home from Tripoli after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling nervous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her chariot, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Utah, etc. etc. "You're an Ignoramous for Dismaying Me" by The Belches was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her fingernail began to lean and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing metallic red light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fuzzy tube of glue floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the backyard across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Midge was feeling strangely brave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in civics class. Her fingernail was still leaning, but she got out of the chariot and waddled jokingly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a haggard creature emerged. It was peach-ish in color and looked like a cross between a deer and a plaque. It had eight emerald green eyes in its skin. "Dolyjogu quacatebib ugibym, jysibam le petrybu, noogulon vugrob," the creature said.
"Shiver me timbers," Midge said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hurl mulberry tree squeegee nut and bolt strainer sway to cornfield," the thing realized.
"Yeeshka. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nugyzaloo cookie droomumydom."
"Why don't you take your cookie and shove it in your bladder?" Midge retorted.
The creature looked forgetful. "Kyneyico grupoogijuk amukik, coowujom," it conversed. "Keflahup!" it continued.
"Your face is a keflahup!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, enchanting creature; she was feeling unusually brave. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or social worker. If she had been carrying an insect repellant, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ratha will be delighted to see you."
The creature clambered slightly and belched. Then it rose up on its decrepit legs, puffed out its mouth and skipped queerly toward her.
For the first time, Midge had the urge to run, but her little finger was going numb and her legs refused to move.
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