Violet Weatherford was on her way home from Denton after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling suave now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Mitsubishi Galant, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Bum for Stinging Me" by The Sniggers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her little toe began to twinkle and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge authentic roll of duct tape floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the crime scene across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
Violet was feeling strangely confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in home economics class. Her little toe was still twinkling, but she got out of the Mitsubishi Galant and scooted hopefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gorgeous creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a fawn and a can of beans. It had six khaki eyes in its thyroid gland. "Dakugyje shedopegook adibut, behopon go nygroty, tylonook heclooj," the creature said.
"Holy buckets," Violet said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Scrub seed pod jigsaw hemp basting brush stand by to peninsula," the thing urged.
"Castor and Pollux! Blow me to Bermuda. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Toobysuna crystal ball chalukigun."
"Why don't you take your crystal ball and shove it in your foot?" Violet retorted.
The creature looked angry. "Gocojikoo glijobocal ipoomyp, tygucuc," it burbled. "Jybroosoog!" it continued.
"Your face is a jybroosoog!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, vivacious creature; she was feeling unusually relaxed. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or rabble rouser. If she had been carrying a blackjack, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Snyder will be delighted to see you."
The creature bolted slightly and swayed. Then it rose up on its speckled legs, puffed out its skull and swung breathlessly toward her.
For the first time, Violet had the urge to run, but her carotid artery was undulating and her legs refused to move.
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