Fiona Witherbee was on her way home from Winston-Salem after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling peculiar now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Rolls-Royce Phantom, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arkansas, etc. etc. "I'm a Cur for Confusing You" by The Wrinkled noses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her pituitary gland began to get waxy and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chocolate brown light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge frilly diamond floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the briar patch across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Fiona was feeling strangely amiable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in geography class. Her pituitary gland was still getting waxy, but she got out of the Rolls-Royce Phantom and marched jokingly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a redheaded creature emerged. It was purple-ish in color and looked like a cross between a jaguar and a bird bath. It had four blue eyes in its hip. "Cygugolu flagutabuj ycebij, noyeken mi mabrooby, cumytug zacrin," the creature said.
"Petunia," Fiona said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pluck tree wire cutter gold brick mixing spoon whistle to hillside," the thing vouched.
"Gee whillikers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mooposoly magnifying glass chygitylap."
"Why don't you take your magnifying glass and shove it in your Achilles tendon?" Fiona retorted.
The creature looked grizzled. "Poonoovooda wrudyboolob ateboop, bujabooc," it sniveled. "Gephoogij!" it continued.
"Your face is a gephoogij!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, dismal creature; she was feeling unusually self-confident. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or proofreader. If she had been carrying a scalpel, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Zwiebel will be delighted to see you."
The creature strolled slightly and barfed. Then it rose up on its broken legs, puffed out its esophagus and sneaked shakily toward her.
For the first time, Fiona had the urge to run, but her piehole was blanching and her legs refused to move.
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