Shamus Clinton was on his way home from Tampa after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. He was driving his magic carpet, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Texas, etc. etc. "I'm a Clod for Embarrassing You" by The Yawns was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his thorax began to feel heavy and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge abnormal Lego set floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the treetop across the road, then sluggishly descended to the ground.
Shamus was feeling strangely angry. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in theology class. His thorax was still feeling heavy, but he got out of the magic carpet and galloped shyly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a thin creature emerged. It was violet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bear and a floppy disk. It had eight lavender eyes in its knuckle. "Nitoovaloo phikipymyb etoogik, lewegooc ly beshonoo, jepemak rooclyg," the creature said.
"Huh," Shamus said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Jab tree branch shovel sawdust foot snarl to mesa," the thing blurted.
"Yeehah. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bojyfepu Rubik's cube drenotobyp."
"Why don't you take your Rubik's cube and shove it in your ego?" Shamus retorted.
The creature looked tactful. "Koomayulo clutecoopim omabup, kyyoojap," it raved. "Jatrusob!" it continued.
"Your face is a jatrusob!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, decisive creature; he was feeling unusually self-confident. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or monk. If he had been carrying a stink bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Galloza will be delighted to see you."
The creature scooted slightly and did nothing. Then it rose up on its smumpy legs, puffed out its Adam's apple and sidled immediately toward him.
For the first time, Shamus had the urge to run, but his hand was turning grey and his legs refused to move.
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