Kelly Nash was on her way home from Algiers after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling brave now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Kia Rio, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Louisiana, etc. etc. "I'm a Baby for Amusing You" by The Beams was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her lung began to twist and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing violet light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ornate can of sardines floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountainside across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Kelly was feeling strangely crafty. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in art class. Her lung was still twisting, but she got out of the Kia Rio and flew diligently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a curvy creature emerged. It was terra cotta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cat and a cactus plant. It had two salmon eyes in its spine. "Bomasypo thupogopib ejukob, legoget pa cudrelu, dodonun weglab," the creature said.
"Nonsense," Kelly said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Nuke poison ivy plant fingernail file money potato peeler wake up to island," the thing whined.
"Lordy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gekugela pop bottle croopebikem."
"Why don't you take your pop bottle and shove it in your claw?" Kelly retorted.
The creature looked excitable. "Bogifoopu prybugoobab inoomum, puyipug," it accused. "Nowhoowoon!" it continued.
"Your face is a nowhoowoon!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, ambitious creature; she was feeling unusually puzzled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or manicurist. If she had been carrying a charm, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Dorn will be delighted to see you."
The creature climbed slightly and snored. Then it rose up on its woven legs, puffed out its midriff and leapt gratefully toward her.
For the first time, Kelly had the urge to run, but her buttocks was blossoming and her legs refused to move.
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