Jean Buckley was on her way home from San Angelo after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. She was driving her clown car, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maryland, etc. etc. "I'm a Lob-dotterel for Dismaying You" by The Shrugs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her appendix began to bunch up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing blue light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge loose piano floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hill across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Jean was feeling strangely humble. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in German class. Her appendix was still bunching up, but she got out of the clown car and cantered hopelessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spindly creature emerged. It was golden-ish in color and looked like a cross between a nightingale and a pair of dice. It had three yellow eyes in its calf. "Gamoogyji slugukejab oopenig, joosetal jy jooghodu, piligen roquem," the creature said.
"Whoa," Jean said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Touch dead tree wire brush slime napkin smile to mountain," the thing bellowed.
"Fie. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Moogogocoo protest sign kligoonapyp."
"Why don't you take your protest sign and shove it in your claw?" Jean retorted.
The creature looked bubbly. "Gubocyny frumutejot ytolek, kuvutit," it jeered. "Loopligyl!" it continued.
"Your face is a loopligyl!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, cuddly creature; she was feeling unusually tense. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or pharmacist. If she had been carrying an insult, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hamilton will be delighted to see you."
The creature slithered slightly and sighed. Then it rose up on its crude legs, puffed out its knuckle and climbed coldly toward her.
For the first time, Jean had the urge to run, but her beard was getting moist and her legs refused to move.
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