Peggy Wall was on her way home from Mexico City after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling excitable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her gondola, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "You're a Harebrain for Surprising Me" by The Frowns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her dignity began to dissolve and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing beige light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hand-carved baseball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the steppe across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Peggy was feeling strangely ambitious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in theology class. Her dignity was still dissolving, but she got out of the gondola and tiptoed recklessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a scraggly creature emerged. It was golden-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lamb and a business card. It had seven tan eyes in its abdomen. "Bypoovotoo choodudicad ebigyp, mygegel te gyklooby, nyjybit hogheb," the creature said.
"Behold," Peggy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Brandish sea shell drill maple sharp knife look smart to creek," the thing opined.
"Spiff. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Natoowapa can of shaving cream whecomicok."
"Why don't you take your can of shaving cream and shove it in your nose?" Peggy retorted.
The creature looked athletic. "Poogoofeby plutumoolin okijot, losigak," it acknowledged. "Loogliyap!" it continued.
"Your face is a loogliyap!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, weary creature; she was feeling unusually crafty. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or beekeeper. If she had been carrying a bazooka, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ramos will be delighted to see you."
The creature slumped slightly and danced. Then it rose up on its nice legs, puffed out its thyroid gland and skidded primly toward her.
For the first time, Peggy had the urge to run, but her pride was lining up and her legs refused to move.
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