Octavius Pickett was on his way home from San Francisco after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling brave now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Suburu Forester, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Rhode Island, etc. etc. "I'm a Dipstick for Spanking You" by The Glares was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his liver began to roll and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sparkly light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge synthetic sack floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the range across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Octavius was feeling strangely somber. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in songwriting class. His liver was still rolling, but he got out of the Suburu Forester and paraded warmly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an eye-catching creature emerged. It was purple-ish in color and looked like a cross between an owl and a mop. It had three golden eyes in its aorta. "Cynyfoopu glemejudyg etacog, koyipem ge mookrygo, lydabic syshil," the creature said.
"Silence," Octavius said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Heat dead fish scraper sod bare foot suffer to backyard," the thing jeered.
"Goodness. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cecyyolu piece of chalk kronoolybac."
"Why don't you take your piece of chalk and shove it in your midriff?" Octavius retorted.
The creature looked urbane. "Jamehegy thetalidab oogolooc, mawydyt," it blurted. "Buwharooc!" it continued.
"Your face is a buwharooc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, stubby creature; he was feeling unusually self-assured. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or programmer. If he had been carrying a can of shaving cream, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Flanagan will be delighted to see you."
The creature strolled slightly and fretted. Then it rose up on its slimy legs, puffed out its artery and swung busily toward him.
For the first time, Octavius had the urge to run, but his tooth was rolling and his legs refused to move.
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