Zeke Miller was on his way home from Perth Amboy after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling crafty now that the meetings were over. He was driving his ox cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of California, etc. etc. "You're a Laggard for Injuring Me" by The Stiff upper lips was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his nose began to tingle and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing periwinkle light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge papery muffin floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the canyon across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Zeke was feeling strangely pensive. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in herbalism class. His nose was still tingling, but he got out of the ox cart and scampered ferociously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a beautiful creature emerged. It was jet black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a camel and an African violet. It had five jade eyes in its buttocks. "Kynifyno phojamebak obonyt, goorineg tu guslymy, mapinooj gatrool," the creature said.
"Oh well," Zeke said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Maintain rock drill feather blender preach to cliff," the thing spouted.
"Gawwwleeee. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jujuvyda remote control glypoojypin."
"Why don't you take your remote control and shove it in your antenna?" Zeke retorted.
The creature looked intelligent. "Betoocaju glokitycyc olygoc, pejaceg," it rationalized. "Niwhoogom!" it continued.
"Your face is a niwhoogom!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, bad creature; he was feeling unusually forgetful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or civil servant. If he had been carrying a spear, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Lister will be delighted to see you."
The creature tiptoed slightly and barfed. Then it rose up on its bulky legs, puffed out its horn and slumped awkwardly toward him.
For the first time, Zeke had the urge to run, but his pride was getting sticky and his legs refused to move.
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