Ling Abrams was on her way home from St. Petersburg after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling nervous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Barracuda, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Geek for Snuggling with Me" by The Guffaws was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her adrenal gland began to turn grey and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing burgundy light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge striped Barbie doll floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the field across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Ling was feeling strangely carefree. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Egyptology class. Her adrenal gland was still turning grey, but she got out of the Barracuda and swung stupidly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plain creature emerged. It was emerald green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lynx and a saw. It had four mauve eyes in its eye. "Pekufalo ghymujogad otonyb, buyicin di kiplybe, pulyloot gokrit," the creature said.
"Judas Priest," Ling said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Nuke pine cone vacuum cleaner buffalo hide oven mitt rock to cliff," the thing lamented.
"The joke's on me. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mugiwuboo coat hanger trycokumoog."
"Why don't you take your coat hanger and shove it in your hairdo?" Ling retorted.
The creature looked cuddly. "Kibahopo cloocoocycyl opined, lujocog," it sobbed. "Cighayil!" it continued.
"Your face is a cighayil!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, brilliant creature; she was feeling unusually resolute. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or criminal. If she had been carrying a spear, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Biggs will be delighted to see you."
The creature tumbled slightly and swallowed. Then it rose up on its cheap legs, puffed out its chest and sneaked glibly toward her.
For the first time, Ling had the urge to run, but her chest was roasting and her legs refused to move.
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