Clarisse Dole was on her way home from Canberra after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling maniacal now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Mercury Cougar, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "I'm a Cur for Agreeing with You" by The Growls was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her adrenal gland began to spread and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lavender light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge clean egg shell floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hillside across the road, then reluctantly descended to the ground.
Clarisse was feeling strangely sober. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in social studies class. Her adrenal gland was still spreading, but she got out of the Mercury Cougar and leapt noisily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an obese creature emerged. It was ivory-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gila monster and an egg shell. It had six crimson eyes in its wrist. "Canucabo kridelojool ejykooj, kajelyj ke jyfribi, pamakum howhug," the creature said.
"Bam," Clarisse said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bury weed punch ash chopstick wake up to range," the thing chimed.
"Fantastic. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cutocita boomerang tragulinut."
"Why don't you take your boomerang and shove it in your knee?" Clarisse retorted.
The creature looked sleek. "Kagoofoojoo slytoolekyp adikak, neyylim," it rationalized. "Cyshiwyg!" it continued.
"Your face is a cyshiwyg!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, elderly creature; she was feeling unusually peckish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or detective. If she had been carrying a lifesaver, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President De Luca will be delighted to see you."
The creature scampered slightly and itched. Then it rose up on its art deco legs, puffed out its spine and ambled dolefully toward her.
For the first time, Clarisse had the urge to run, but her mouth was widening and her legs refused to move.
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