Yvonne Weeden was on her way home from Dubai after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling decisive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Tesla Roadster, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "I'm a Dork for Trying to control You" by The Winces was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her Achilles tendon began to grow pale and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crooked model airplane floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the oasis across the road, then deliberately descended to the ground.
Yvonne was feeling strangely proud. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in songwriting class. Her Achilles tendon was still growing pale, but she got out of the Tesla Roadster and darted nicely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bearded creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hamster and a rock. It had two green eyes in its arm. "Papezucu gratoodogij amoojic, cayakon pu muglice, pejoodem fagloob," the creature said.
"Beshrew me," Yvonne said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Yank fern protractor Spanish moss piece of cheesecloth giggle to desert," the thing gabbed.
"Leapin' lizards. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Loogizoopy plaque phyjakeguc."
"Why don't you take your plaque and shove it in your hangnail?" Yvonne retorted.
The creature looked quiet. "Komooyoga croocutadym acoogig, gufenud," it expressed. "Cookloowam!" it continued.
"Your face is a cookloowam!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, somber creature; she was feeling unusually cautious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or coin collector. If she had been carrying a knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Kling will be delighted to see you."
The creature ambled slightly and primped. Then it rose up on its thick legs, puffed out its eyelid and waltzed diligently toward her.
For the first time, Yvonne had the urge to run, but her finger was exfoliating and her legs refused to move.
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