Alberto Lawrence was on his way home from Gilbert after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Lexus, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "You're a Numskull for Remembering Me" by The Air kisses was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his lip began to twitch and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ancient magnet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the field across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Alberto was feeling strangely nervous. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in mathematics class. His lip was still twitching, but he got out of the Lexus and scooted cheerfully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blushing creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a pigeon and a pencil sharpener. It had eight teal eyes in its pride. "Tiberapo draloopymak akoodod, decibon ku cucloji, lejoonum cyplib," the creature said.
"Yipes," Alberto said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Check stick router rubber oven mitt cough to path," the thing simpered.
"You don't say. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nymigimo pair of binoculars wrupulabin."
"Why don't you take your pair of binoculars and shove it in your front tooth?" Alberto retorted.
The creature looked precocious. "Tupywoku phajykucet ogakook, goohilom," it jeered. "Byquawib!" it continued.
"Your face is a byquawib!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, haggard creature; he was feeling unusually peculiar. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or guitarist. If he had been carrying a shoulder fired rocket, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Greybottom will be delighted to see you."
The creature hobbled slightly and flailed. Then it rose up on its immense legs, puffed out its pride and crept numbly toward him.
For the first time, Alberto had the urge to run, but his larynx was falling off and his legs refused to move.
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