Kris Nicholas was on his way home from Corona after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cautious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Porsche, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Tennessee, etc. etc. "You're a So-and-so for Stunning Me" by The Sneers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his appendix began to wrinkle and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing beige light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge filthy purse floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cliff across the road, then like a streak descended to the ground.
Kris was feeling strangely angry. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in reading class. His appendix was still wrinkling, but he got out of the Porsche and hopped nonchalantly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an undersized creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lynx and a bilge pump. It had two forest green eyes in its hairdo. "Bocoryde flukoojilon odolaj, tuyecud gu jocrunu, nimatun fachot," the creature said.
"Fudge," Kris said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Seal leaf pair of safety glasses silk garlic press cheer to meadow," the thing spoke up.
"Retch. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Katoofimoo deck of cards floodookucip."
"Why don't you take your deck of cards and shove it in your tummy?" Kris retorted.
The creature looked careful. "Cibuhidi ghojymoonoon iboopac, pivikum," it hollered. "Kaproowoop!" it continued.
"Your face is a kaproowoop!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, unruffled creature; he was feeling unusually distressed. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or detective. If he had been carrying an aspersion, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Kettle will be delighted to see you."
The creature struggled slightly and shook. Then it rose up on its thick legs, puffed out its skin and ran effortlessly toward him.
For the first time, Kris had the urge to run, but his heel was contracting and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter