Avery Dewey was on her way home from Prague after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling decisive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her van, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Indiana, etc. etc. "You're a Hound dog for Needling Me" by The Jeers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her midriff began to relax and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing terra cotta light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crusty tote bag floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the buffalo wallow across the road, then passively descended to the ground.
Avery was feeling strangely sober. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in underwater basket weaving class. Her midriff was still relaxing, but she got out of the van and slithered roughly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a scruffy creature emerged. It was brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a raven and a rubber chicken. It had four navy blue eyes in its back. "Talucooky krecikoomag ydookol, dyhybod gi liwhata, dilepop jubryb," the creature said.
"Blah," Avery said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Refine dead fish hacksaw ice turkey baster murmur to briar patch," the thing giggled.
"The joke's on you. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tacyjina tablet computer clybamugob."
"Why don't you take your tablet computer and shove it in your tongue?" Avery retorted.
The creature looked annoying. "Pytovojo troogugylum ebageb, gygybil," it piped up. "Lyphoowit!" it continued.
"Your face is a lyphoowit!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, undignified creature; she was feeling unusually frantic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or woodworker. If she had been carrying a ghetto blaster, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Daniels will be delighted to see you."
The creature hopped slightly and threw up. Then it rose up on its handy legs, puffed out its hair and scampered threateningly toward her.
For the first time, Avery had the urge to run, but her spinal cord was breaking off and her legs refused to move.
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