Lily Bacon was on her way home from Kansas City after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sassy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Suburban, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Texas, etc. etc. "You're a Louse for Leading Me" by The Smiles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her chest began to sweat and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lime-green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge miniature dart floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lagoon across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Lily was feeling strangely self-confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in zoology class. Her chest was still sweating, but she got out of the Chevy Suburban and set out daintily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sexy creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a penguin and a saw. It had two carrot-orange eyes in its heart. "Geparodo chajecomek onekab, keroodyc jy dudrumy, puboolyg gudrit," the creature said.
"Idiot," Lily said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Archive mulberry tree lug wrench carbon fiber ice pick collapse to housing development," the thing raved.
"Good gravy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gigyzoonoo arrowhead procunapil."
"Why don't you take your arrowhead and shove it in your brain?" Lily retorted.
The creature looked cautious. "Nujaciki flutemupob alamep, tevopoc," it moaned. "Nuchegod!" it continued.
"Your face is a nuchegod!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, poised creature; she was feeling unusually relaxed. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or slave. If she had been carrying a scalpel, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Goldwater will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and daydreamed. Then it rose up on its heavy legs, puffed out its gall bladder and ran coldly toward her.
For the first time, Lily had the urge to run, but her foot was getting hairy and her legs refused to move.
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