Edwin Ortmann was on his way home from Irvine after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling sassy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his hoverboard, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Indiana, etc. etc. "You're a Weevil for Fooling Me" by The Smacks was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his pride began to jerk and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing yellow light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ridged whistle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the battlefield across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Edwin was feeling strangely generous. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in agriculture class. His pride was still jerking, but he got out of the hoverboard and sped carelessly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an athletic creature emerged. It was aquamarine-ish in color and looked like a cross between a crow and a shovel. It had four golden eyes in its eyebrow. "Mumyrubi ghibaputuk ogadoc, tijeket di bokroja, gyjogul hofrem," the creature said.
"Uh," Edwin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Rub fallen tree pair of scissors sandstone basting brush whirl to meadow," the thing began.
"Granular. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nabesypi pen gludememoot."
"Why don't you take your pen and shove it in your chest?" Edwin retorted.
The creature looked muddled. "Gegasebi glybatycup ejegej, moorootep," it drawled. "Difrusook!" it continued.
"Your face is a difrusook!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, young creature; he was feeling unusually peculiar. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or cop. If he had been carrying a pistol, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Small will be delighted to see you."
The creature danced slightly and grimaced. Then it rose up on its well worn legs, puffed out its heel and inched tenderly toward him.
For the first time, Edwin had the urge to run, but his heel was tormenting and his legs refused to move.
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