Julia Clooney was on her way home from Jacksonville after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. She was driving her hovercraft, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Mississippi, etc. etc. "You're a 'noying for Staring at Me" by The Sniffles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her collarbone began to roast and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chartreuse light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge grubby baby doll floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the creek across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Julia was feeling strangely timid. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in molecular biology class. Her collarbone was still roasting, but she got out of the hovercraft and stormed steadily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an undersized creature emerged. It was jet black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bandicoot and a cigar. It had four jade eyes in its vein. "Bumoohooby shynogooled oogynoc, leyoocuj mo gooclyjy, bootogun yequook," the creature said.
"Whoop-dee-doo," Julia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Praise rock fingernail clipper marble turkey baster sway to forest," the thing implored.
"Harrumph. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Madysipu pack of gum drujunoonut."
"Why don't you take your pack of gum and shove it in your throat?" Julia retorted.
The creature looked drowsy. "Cimyfyba glebaniloop alibym, cirumoot," it tittered. "Biphoyat!" it continued.
"Your face is a biphoyat!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, bad creature; she was feeling unusually daring. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or sixth grade teacher. If she had been carrying a pom-pom, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Prince will be delighted to see you."
The creature sauntered slightly and backed down. Then it rose up on its imported legs, puffed out its pinky and danced zestily toward her.
For the first time, Julia had the urge to run, but her chin was itching and her legs refused to move.
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