Katie John was on her way home from Podunk Hollow after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling perky now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Honda Element, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Madman for Embarrassing Me" by The Grunts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her paw began to unwind and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing carrot-orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge puzzling flash drive floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the moonscape across the road, then double-time descended to the ground.
Katie was feeling strangely cruel. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in information science class. Her paw was still unwinding, but she got out of the Honda Element and flounced vigorously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slick creature emerged. It was sea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bat and a candy cane. It had two white eyes in its intestine. "Luciroby gryjukepooc etunad, morojij pa nikryna, myjyned goowhot," the creature said.
"Zzzzz," Katie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Remember bear track monkey wrench jewel turkey baster glare to country meadow," the thing answered.
"Yow. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lenoozibo toilet plunger whynoomipet."
"Why don't you take your toilet plunger and shove it in your abdomen?" Katie retorted.
The creature looked adorable. "Kakysecy pracyculed iloocik, kyrojid," it railed. "Pywhoyed!" it continued.
"Your face is a pywhoyed!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, boring creature; she was feeling unusually forgetful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or massage therapist. If she had been carrying a water balloon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Prescott will be delighted to see you."
The creature flounced slightly and gesticulated. Then it rose up on its sophisticated legs, puffed out its kneecap and set out hysterically toward her.
For the first time, Katie had the urge to run, but her lung was burbling and her legs refused to move.
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