Maybie Covington was on her way home from London after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling thoughtful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Cadillac, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Tennessee, etc. etc. "You're a Shrimp for Berating Me" by The Shivers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her beard began to grow pale and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ordinary etching floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the desert across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Maybie was feeling strangely cautious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in folklore class. Her beard was still growing pale, but she got out of the Cadillac and padded deftly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tall creature emerged. It was lime-green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a brine shrimp and a pigeon. It had four polka dotted eyes in its fingernail. "Delifooboo clalydikuk utoobyn, pusimyd gy kogrimi, citicook rigroj," the creature said.
"How about that," Maybie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hammer stick pair of tweezers granite basting brush clap to gully," the thing declared.
"Crackers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tenahutoo pair of headphones brebukadun."
"Why don't you take your pair of headphones and shove it in your intestine?" Maybie retorted.
The creature looked peculiar. "Dotooyagoo krojynoolid adutid, cohoopug," it enunciated. "Caklycoop!" it continued.
"Your face is a caklycoop!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sinister creature; she was feeling unusually generous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or drummer. If she had been carrying a blackjack, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Rush will be delighted to see you."
The creature capered slightly and backed down. Then it rose up on its dusty legs, puffed out its belly and swung hopelessly toward her.
For the first time, Maybie had the urge to run, but her mouth was petrifying and her legs refused to move.
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