Xavier Abbey was on his way home from Rotterdam after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling calm now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Dodge Charger, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arizona, etc. etc. "You're a Nincompoop for Fooling Me" by The Beams was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his hair began to float and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing yellow light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge cotton pipe floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hillside across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Xavier was feeling strangely peckish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in addition class. His hair was still floating, but he got out of the Dodge Charger and reeled surreptitiously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a large creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a chameleon and an advertisement. It had eight metallic red eyes in its little toe. "Metusaja quocogygoop etitak, coogukyn dy noqueda, kitoobek jooghug," the creature said.
"Cease and desist," Xavier said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Gold plate dead tree air horn diamond pair of chopsticks flush to island," the thing yawned.
"Woops. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lubafely saddle tritigogoon."
"Why don't you take your saddle and shove it in your gut?" Xavier retorted.
The creature looked homely. "Papehooba shoodimebed yboduk, mesipeg," it breathed. "Cagrygyp!" it continued.
"Your face is a cagrygyp!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, frumpy creature; he was feeling unusually muddled. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or doctor. If he had been carrying a disinfectant, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Potts will be delighted to see you."
The creature dashed slightly and breathed. Then it rose up on its tiny legs, puffed out its arm and reeled haughtily toward him.
For the first time, Xavier had the urge to run, but his bladder was freaking out and his legs refused to move.
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