Ada Belle Hayashida was on her way home from Kampala after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her fire truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "You're a Monkey for Encouraging Me" by The Caresses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her neck began to freeze and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge overgrown pencil sharpener floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the savanna across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Ada Belle was feeling strangely relaxed. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in mechanical engineering class. Her neck was still freezing, but she got out of the fire truck and ambled courageously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an angelic creature emerged. It was brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cobra and a hammer. It had five indigo eyes in its brain. "Culiyyla ghookajoodyn ynajam, tiyedyd tu cipruga, jamogoob cookrok," the creature said.
"Yuck," Ada Belle said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hammer mushroom hand saw gold dull knife stand by to country meadow," the thing stated.
"Whoop-dee-doo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jugisygoo spoon shinakigaj."
"Why don't you take your spoon and shove it in your buttocks?" Ada Belle retorted.
The creature looked fiendish. "Cegiwoone trecomanup iladooc, gyhoocog," it spat. "Nootroovym!" it continued.
"Your face is a nootroovym!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, corpulent creature; she was feeling unusually hysterical. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bureaucrat. If she had been carrying a bayonette, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Van Heusen will be delighted to see you."
The creature bolted slightly and grumbled. Then it rose up on its flaky legs, puffed out its midriff and made a beeline cheerfully toward her.
For the first time, Ada Belle had the urge to run, but her spleen was writhing and her legs refused to move.
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