Giovanni Carson was on his way home from Tempe after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling self-confident now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Dodge Viper, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Mississippi, etc. etc. "You're a Fuddy-duddy for Spanking Me" by The Laughs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his heart began to feel weird and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pea green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge aromatic pair of fuzzy dice floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the river across the road, then heavily descended to the ground.
Giovanni was feeling strangely frantic. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in engineering class. His heart was still feeling weird, but he got out of the Dodge Viper and sauntered gratefully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an attractive creature emerged. It was black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mare and a microscope. It had three violet eyes in its eyelash. "Meboogica ploodycalook ebokop, nusitut tu giphule, kadinap jyglug," the creature said.
"Yeehah," Giovanni said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Stitch twig broom canvas pastry blender stare into space to park," the thing chuckled.
"Ha-ha. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Talozoki cigarette shikalubyp."
"Why don't you take your cigarette and shove it in your skull?" Giovanni retorted.
The creature looked merry. "Bacocegu wramoocimyk yjidac, poohyjyd," it blathered. "Michoojat!" it continued.
"Your face is a michoojat!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, boring creature; he was feeling unusually humble. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or hit man. If he had been carrying an angry glare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gunderson will be delighted to see you."
The creature struggled slightly and barked. Then it rose up on its narrow legs, puffed out its nose and dashed sadly toward him.
For the first time, Giovanni had the urge to run, but his thumb was breaking off and his legs refused to move.
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