Norma Jean Gilson was on her way home from Fremont after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling proud now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Falcon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "I'm a Goose for Praising You" by The Roars was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her shin began to go wild and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing polka dotted light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge clean key ring floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the creek across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Norma Jean was feeling strangely irate. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in meteorology class. Her shin was still going wild, but she got out of the Falcon and rolled glibly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sexy creature emerged. It was indigo-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rat and a comic book. It had six purple eyes in its belly button. "Tojucode ghikymacod imipad, legonem na keflucy, tobotooc zocheg," the creature said.
"Inconceivable," Norma Jean said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Rebuild bit of moss axe snow cookie cutter applaud to seacoast," the thing mouthed.
"Out of this world. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Doomegoca sea shell fragygoogic."
"Why don't you take your sea shell and shove it in your wrist?" Norma Jean retorted.
The creature looked taciturn. "Gytyzypi klymetalal ajydot, pehejood," it pointed out. "Katroocib!" it continued.
"Your face is a katroocib!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, tired creature; she was feeling unusually puzzled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or short order cook. If she had been carrying an automatic rifle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Schmuckley will be delighted to see you."
The creature crawled slightly and paced. Then it rose up on its coarse legs, puffed out its scalp and dashed wildly toward her.
For the first time, Norma Jean had the urge to run, but her buttocks was gnarling and her legs refused to move.
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