Andrea Eisley was on her way home from Frisco after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. She was driving her streetcar, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of California, etc. etc. "You're a Nerd for Scaring Me" by The Winces was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her lung began to soften and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge thick iPhone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cliff across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Andrea was feeling strangely fearful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in photography class. Her lung was still softening, but she got out of the streetcar and sailed quietly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an olive creature emerged. It was sparkly-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gila monster and a vacuum cleaner. It had six maroon eyes in its funny bone. "Cybovaji krubonygul agikan, mejidun bu buklyme, tegogip yuquid," the creature said.
"Ooh," Andrea said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shrink feather circular saw glass bead bare foot adjust to lakeside," the thing comforted.
"Son of a Baptist preacher. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bypuyajo bottle of perfume flokejykip."
"Why don't you take your bottle of perfume and shove it in your stomach?" Andrea retorted.
The creature looked petulant. "Pujiyaky phidubytid anenud, giwubat," it agreed. "Tooslifooj!" it continued.
"Your face is a tooslifooj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, noxious creature; she was feeling unusually desperate. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or talk-show host. If she had been carrying a wet noodle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Richter will be delighted to see you."
The creature hopped slightly and cogitated. Then it rose up on its crooked legs, puffed out its face and lumbered defiantly toward her.
For the first time, Andrea had the urge to run, but her liver was stinging and her legs refused to move.
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