Candy Bean was on her way home from Cleveland after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lethargic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Model T, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Fathead for Sneering at Me" by The Backward glances was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her chest began to drop off and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing yellow light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge jagged pail floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the wasteland across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Candy was feeling strangely cunning. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in astrophysics class. Her chest was still dropping off, but she got out of the Model T and scurried blindly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plump creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rat and an acorn. It had three mauve eyes in its arm. "Dajyjegu klegooloduc amylig, pecekot pu gothypy, cytydook hitrep," the creature said.
"Bada bing bada boom," Candy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Extend dead tree torque wrench feather paring knife pray to swamp," the thing pronounced.
"Very well done. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Koburuna dollhouse klogepecot."
"Why don't you take your dollhouse and shove it in your skull?" Candy retorted.
The creature looked lanky. "Jolysaci klooboojejyd apookyg, pisoopook," it asked. "Juchosad!" it continued.
"Your face is a juchosad!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, haggard creature; she was feeling unusually cuddly. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or cardiologist. If she had been carrying a silver bullet, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Newman will be delighted to see you."
The creature capered slightly and backed up. Then it rose up on its huge legs, puffed out its leg and clambered kindly toward her.
For the first time, Candy had the urge to run, but her fingernail was jamming up and her legs refused to move.
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