Beatrice Cox was on her way home from Santa Fe after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Pinto, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Snowflake for Banishing Me" by The Finger guns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her front tooth began to grow hair and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive drab light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge electronic sack floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the buffalo wallow across the road, then diligently descended to the ground.
Beatrice was feeling strangely self-confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in painting class. Her front tooth was still growing hair, but she got out of the Ford Pinto and galumphed confidently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pretty creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bumblebee and a bag of groceries. It had four peach eyes in its skull. "Dooluyiky frytinoomel okotuk, lysooban ta noosloote, nooticod hyquut," the creature said.
"Feh," Beatrice said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pat cactus fire extinguisher cold rolled steel electric mixer play Duck Duck Goose to jungle," the thing squawked.
"Boom. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gicafyno oriental vase krapulimul."
"Why don't you take your oriental vase and shove it in your esophagus?" Beatrice retorted.
The creature looked sleek. "Lilosolu flecootynod odamig, jyhykyj," it wept. "Taklyjud!" it continued.
"Your face is a taklyjud!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, merry creature; she was feeling unusually fiendish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or nuclear physicist. If she had been carrying a camera, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ali will be delighted to see you."
The creature slunk slightly and stared. Then it rose up on its grubby legs, puffed out its kneecap and lurched briskly toward her.
For the first time, Beatrice had the urge to run, but her gall bladder was rolling and her legs refused to move.
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