José Slade was on his way home from Lima after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling daring now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ferrari Spider, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Hampshire, etc. etc. "You're a Mangy rascal for Believing Me" by The Gasps was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his shin began to feel numb and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing black light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hideous flashlight floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the river across the road, then hurriedly descended to the ground.
José was feeling strangely brave. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in the alphabet class. His shin was still feeling numb, but he got out of the Ferrari Spider and made a beeline roughly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an athletic creature emerged. It was orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a honeybee and a rope. It had two lime-green eyes in its spinal cord. "Kyjucojy quitobitooj igycet, lihicel cy cigryme, nunymet zoobrec," the creature said.
"I'm sure," José said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Lengthen poison ivy plant pipe wrench old tire basting brush vegetate to grassland," the thing growled.
"Crikey. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Noomizota deck of cards phoogejapet."
"Why don't you take your deck of cards and shove it in your heart?" José retorted.
The creature looked sober. "Mulizoloo planelyloc oomamook, nihubum," it contended. "Nuflahoc!" it continued.
"Your face is a nuflahoc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, weird creature; he was feeling unusually peckish. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or real estate agent. If he had been carrying a pair of brass knuckles, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Beagle will be delighted to see you."
The creature strolled slightly and swore. Then it rose up on its bulky legs, puffed out its pituitary gland and trotted unexpectedly toward him.
For the first time, José had the urge to run, but his front tooth was flapping and his legs refused to move.
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