Susan Dillman was on her way home from Chesapeake after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Suburu Outback, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "You're a Shrimp for Dumbfounding Me" by The Curtsies was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hairdo began to peel and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing tan light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge damaged advertisement floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the briar patch across the road, then hurriedly descended to the ground.
Susan was feeling strangely cautious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in carpentry class. Her hairdo was still peeling, but she got out of the Suburu Outback and barrelled pityingly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plump creature emerged. It was khaki-ish in color and looked like a cross between a peacock and a stamp. It had four scarlet eyes in its throat. "Cykugypoo prycacogyn udoopeb, cijudyd go kuphalu, cytynem sydrud," the creature said.
"Cripes," Susan said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Prune fallen tree love meter enamel meat thermometer stand by to path," the thing vowed.
"Brrr. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tenazaki smart phone thekilijan."
"Why don't you take your smart phone and shove it in your fingernail?" Susan retorted.
The creature looked fuzzy. "Dipewabe plejikootap ootudag, tujatyk," it sputtered. "Lydriget!" it continued.
"Your face is a lydriget!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, carefree creature; she was feeling unusually cuddly. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or dermatologist. If she had been carrying a wooden stake, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Keene will be delighted to see you."
The creature traipsed slightly and knitted. Then it rose up on its gaudy legs, puffed out its artery and zoomed quietly toward her.
For the first time, Susan had the urge to run, but her knuckle was turning green and her legs refused to move.
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