Malcolm Velasquez was on his way home from Edinburgh after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling merry now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Rolls-Royce Phantom, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nevada, etc. etc. "I'm a Flouting milksop for Frightening You" by The Air kisses was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his finger began to lighten up and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing blue light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge loose pencil floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the arroyo across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Malcolm was feeling strangely fearless. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in aeronautics class. His finger was still lightening up, but he got out of the Rolls-Royce Phantom and whirled zestily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a youthful creature emerged. It was lime-green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hippopotamus and a saw. It had five scarlet eyes in its spleen. "Tetejoku trenygytoot upagik, pezetyc tu paglooba, dipimoc futroob," the creature said.
"Buzzards," Malcolm said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Prohibit rock hacksaw sawdust foot step aside to treetop," the thing responded.
"Ppppbbbft. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nukiyodu fish bowl clilutepoon."
"Why don't you take your fish bowl and shove it in your thorax?" Malcolm retorted.
The creature looked sleek. "Dyjuvojo ghigookutek epugij, loorojim," it cajoled. "Mawhahum!" it continued.
"Your face is a mawhahum!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, energetic creature; he was feeling unusually self-assured. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or organist. If he had been carrying a can of spray paint, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Deutsch will be delighted to see you."
The creature galumphed slightly and blushed. Then it rose up on its fuzzy legs, puffed out its chin and leapt vigorously toward him.
For the first time, Malcolm had the urge to run, but his brain was dribbling and his legs refused to move.
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