Millie Sarma was on her way home from Casablanca after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Rolls-Royce Phantom, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Dakota, etc. etc. "I'm a Goof for Quarreling with You" by The Grimaces was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her thigh began to turn grey and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge sophisticated flyswatter floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the peninsula across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Millie was feeling strangely queer. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Greek class. Her thigh was still turning grey, but she got out of the Rolls-Royce Phantom and galloped nonchalantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a massive creature emerged. It was scarlet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a skunk and a cupcake. It had five scarlet eyes in its carotid artery. "Bopuvepe plicotoloj ikylic, boohicob ce boodroni, jitunun zuwrep," the creature said.
"Boy howdy," Millie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Drench fallen tree sponge foil ladle nod to moonscape," the thing persisted.
"Help. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pikowade Frisbee phanooleloom."
"Why don't you take your Frisbee and shove it in your antenna?" Millie retorted.
The creature looked awkward. "Banyceki drenytikoc alukooj, lysetog," it worried. "Teslifip!" it continued.
"Your face is a teslifip!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, jaunty creature; she was feeling unusually sober. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or chief of police. If she had been carrying a butcher knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Fontanaro will be delighted to see you."
The creature sped slightly and passed out. Then it rose up on its art deco legs, puffed out its heel and leapt fearfully toward her.
For the first time, Millie had the urge to run, but her eyeball was ossifying and her legs refused to move.
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