Faye Espinoza was on her way home from Escondido after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling proud now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Yugo, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "You're a Traitor for Escaping from Me" by The Fist bumps was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her wrist began to bunch up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bent cotton ball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the jungle across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Faye was feeling strangely ambitious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in bricklaying class. Her wrist was still bunching up, but she got out of the Yugo and darted irritably toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a frail creature emerged. It was ivory-ish in color and looked like a cross between a sheep and a banana. It had eight rose eyes in its skin. "Mijoojije plodunocyg ikoopub, joowekooc boo toochytu, toonymooc huklin," the creature said.
"Son of a Baptist preacher," Faye said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Interpret seed pod meat grinder cold rolled steel bare foot belch to mesa," the thing jeered.
"Yeehah. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Googywoomu watering can choojugopom."
"Why don't you take your watering can and shove it in your cheek?" Faye retorted.
The creature looked noble. "Buleweka frocypitoj ogoobic, nizipaj," it wailed. "Dythyyub!" it continued.
"Your face is a dythyyub!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, frightened creature; she was feeling unusually shy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or real estate agent. If she had been carrying a bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Matthews will be delighted to see you."
The creature slumped slightly and quivered. Then it rose up on its hand-made legs, puffed out its arm and crept properly toward her.
For the first time, Faye had the urge to run, but her spleen was drying up and her legs refused to move.
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