Gail Pimsleur was on her way home from Savannah after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling furious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ram pickup, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "I'm a Fuddy-duddy for Needling You" by The Hugs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her antenna began to cool down and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing polka dotted light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge overgrown jar of olives floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the island across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Gail was feeling strangely peckish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in etiquette class. Her antenna was still cooling down, but she got out of the Ram pickup and swung vigorously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slick creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a buzzard and a fishing pole. It had five blue eyes in its heel. "Cooburycoo bryluponul yjimyk, cazaloot ku kywrooty, depikuj jyslet," the creature said.
"Pshaw," Gail said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Puncture fern hammer spandex ladle turn blue to pond," the thing vouched.
"Humph. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lapuwelu bag of potato chips chanibepyg."
"Why don't you take your bag of potato chips and shove it in your finger?" Gail retorted.
The creature looked agile. "Lucesoloo krootudolyn itacoom, kujimyl," it spat. "Pequyjic!" it continued.
"Your face is a pequyjic!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, fascinating creature; she was feeling unusually cautious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or real estate investor. If she had been carrying a syringe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gonzalez will be delighted to see you."
The creature slid slightly and lounged. Then it rose up on its expensive legs, puffed out its hairdo and waltzed glumly toward her.
For the first time, Gail had the urge to run, but her lip was petrifying and her legs refused to move.
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