Bonita Pimsleur was on her way home from Fort Collins after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sober now that the meetings were over. She was driving her tractor, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "I'm an Imbecile for Stunning You" by The Bows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her larynx began to come undone and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lime-green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge plain egg shell floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the butte across the road, then like a snail descended to the ground.
Bonita was feeling strangely confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in biology class. Her larynx was still coming undone, but she got out of the tractor and ran fervently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pimply creature emerged. It was turquoise-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gnu and a crutch. It had seven green eyes in its elbow. "Kygogame glupybipoot inubab, mefukal ky biquuka, kynoocuk zislip," the creature said.
"Blah," Bonita said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Clean tree branch caulking gun corncob garlic press knit to countryside," the thing roared.
"Yummy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jitagigy watering can slidygalug."
"Why don't you take your watering can and shove it in your esophagus?" Bonita retorted.
The creature looked monstrous. "Kijogacy krydynujooj adagik, tehajog," it observed. "Ceshoorek!" it continued.
"Your face is a ceshoorek!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, intense creature; she was feeling unusually brave. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or actor. If she had been carrying a silver bullet, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Warren will be delighted to see you."
The creature sallied forth slightly and daydreamed. Then it rose up on its imported legs, puffed out its kneecap and leapt coolly toward her.
For the first time, Bonita had the urge to run, but her knuckle was burbling and her legs refused to move.
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