Kyle Burt was on his way home from Brasilia after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling calm now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Volkswagen Jetta, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kentucky, etc. etc. "I'm a Crazy person for Misleading You" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his ankle began to falter and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing orange light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge slimy calling card floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cornfield across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Kyle was feeling strangely cruel. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in evolutionary biology class. His ankle was still faltering, but he got out of the Volkswagen Jetta and loped roughly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a demonic creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Dalmatian and a balloon. It had three black eyes in its larynx. "Nanocutu klynocugip ookodeb, kuvoocin nu toochugoo, getanog jowhon," the creature said.
"Excellent," Kyle said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Finish spring broom rubber potato peeler curtsey to lakeside," the thing groaned.
"Eeshk. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gatacoka avocado slagumipyp."
"Why don't you take your avocado and shove it in your thigh?" Kyle retorted.
The creature looked annoying. "Jokehanoo whotojacob oomoogooc, doosymuj," it sniveled. "Juslefoom!" it continued.
"Your face is a juslefoom!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, fierce creature; he was feeling unusually self-confident. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or gambler. If he had been carrying a cleaver, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Moretti will be delighted to see you."
The creature padded slightly and sneezed. Then it rose up on its chic legs, puffed out its bicep and flounced sleepily toward him.
For the first time, Kyle had the urge to run, but his lung was twisting and his legs refused to move.
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