Garrick Lyman was on his way home from Omaha after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling fearful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his fire truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Ohio, etc. etc. "I'm a Flouting milksop for Dancing with You" by The Backward glances was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his wig began to feel weird and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brown light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge dusty magazine floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the beach across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Garrick was feeling strangely impish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in genetics class. His wig was still feeling weird, but he got out of the fire truck and lurched wearily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slender creature emerged. It was violet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a camel and an ingot of plutonium. It had four turquoise eyes in its face. "Jojisypoo wretepopyl ookilop, tujikop ti joofloolu, debodil rooplig," the creature said.
"Stinkers," Garrick said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Swirl twig chainsaw titanium blender sneer to plateau," the thing cackled.
"Too much. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dinyjotoo bird cage dryjalodim."
"Why don't you take your bird cage and shove it in your calf?" Garrick retorted.
The creature looked tall. "Datefypi trygupocog ykimyk, jozybook," it responded. "Juwrewac!" it continued.
"Your face is a juwrewac!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, vacuous creature; he was feeling unusually calm. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or locksmith. If he had been carrying a sword, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Lizard will be delighted to see you."
The creature hopped slightly and growled. Then it rose up on its ridiculous legs, puffed out its beard and tore nonchalantly toward him.
For the first time, Garrick had the urge to run, but his kidney was going wild and his legs refused to move.
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