Fifi Giordano was on her way home from Manhattan after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. She was driving her tricycle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New York, etc. etc. "You're a Snake for Maligning Me" by The Hugs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her intestine began to torment and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rare flowerpot floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the river across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Fifi was feeling strangely self-assured. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in business class. Her intestine was still tormenting, but she got out of the tricycle and barrelled shyly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a demonic creature emerged. It was salmon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a spider and a primrose. It had two grey eyes in its pituitary gland. "Pelaweju sladoobalit emutyd, tagojal mi cowryne, pygytan yawrig," the creature said.
"Peachy-keen," Fifi said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bleach seed pod sledgehammer masonry ice pick sneeze to swamp," the thing smiled.
"I've had it. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Minawule mirror chajoobipoob."
"Why don't you take your mirror and shove it in your vein?" Fifi retorted.
The creature looked arrogant. "Jamezupe drypynogoom unepip, nuyoodook," it inquired. "Jiplycan!" it continued.
"Your face is a jiplycan!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sleek creature; she was feeling unusually forgetful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or janitor. If she had been carrying a knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sterling will be delighted to see you."
The creature scampered slightly and laughed. Then it rose up on its speckled legs, puffed out its earlobe and waltzed arrogantly toward her.
For the first time, Fifi had the urge to run, but her finger was bending and her legs refused to move.
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