Deirdre Eichmann was on her way home from Greeley after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cheerful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her hot dog cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kentucky, etc. etc. "I'm a Buzzard for Questioning You" by The Gurgles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her heel began to feel numb and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lavender light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge mysterious diagram floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lagoon across the road, then briskly descended to the ground.
Deirdre was feeling strangely peckish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in law enforcement class. Her heel was still feeling numb, but she got out of the hot dog cart and swung suspiciously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blushing creature emerged. It was indigo-ish in color and looked like a cross between a robot and a daisy. It had eight grey eyes in its shin. "Mulygiboo gryjaniput etujuc, biceguj ce tapladoo, jenenil yoochun," the creature said.
"Stinkers," Deirdre said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Roast tree stump garden hoe linoleum Sham-Wow! pucker to valley," the thing screeched.
"Bam. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kykayeka key prabolicok."
"Why don't you take your key and shove it in your buttocks?" Deirdre retorted.
The creature looked cowardly. "Pidygooce wrekoomokut icagooj, gogoget," it interrupted. "Japryzic!" it continued.
"Your face is a japryzic!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, presumptuous creature; she was feeling unusually self-confident. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or convenience store clerk. If she had been carrying a lasso, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sims will be delighted to see you."
The creature dove slightly and slept. Then it rose up on its worn legs, puffed out its cheek and sprinted confidently toward her.
For the first time, Deirdre had the urge to run, but her collarbone was flushing and her legs refused to move.
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