Trent Bishop was on his way home from Cape Town after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling humble now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Porsche 944, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Carolina, etc. etc. "You're a Goof for Teasing Me" by The Snarls was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his front tooth began to petrify and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing navy blue light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge damaged corkscrew floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the field across the road, then like a streak descended to the ground.
Trent was feeling strangely excitable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in environmental science class. His front tooth was still petrifying, but he got out of the Porsche 944 and staggered carefully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an angelic creature emerged. It was scarlet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a peacock and a pop bottle. It had five sea green eyes in its hoof. "Bopurali quolymimook ookoogooc, kuvatop cu maplogu, pydidup hoothim," the creature said.
"Voilà," Trent said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Split twig X-Acto knife old rag ladle blow up to mountain," the thing began.
"Aw. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mopuyooji piece of candy shobodytop."
"Why don't you take your piece of candy and shove it in your lip?" Trent retorted.
The creature looked cautious. "Cutozoody drygoomocek ykypyb, jezinoog," it breathed. "Cishufum!" it continued.
"Your face is a cishufum!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, direct creature; he was feeling unusually woozy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or gambler. If he had been carrying a cannon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Barry will be delighted to see you."
The creature sped slightly and danced. Then it rose up on its heavy legs, puffed out its intestine and sallied forth carelessly toward him.
For the first time, Trent had the urge to run, but his toe was cooling down and his legs refused to move.
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