Bella Quintero was on her way home from Alexandria after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling decisive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Crown Victoria, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New York, etc. etc. "I'm a Lackwit for Messing with You" by The Yawns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eye began to get tangled and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge black can of soup floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassland across the road, then nimbly descended to the ground.
Bella was feeling strangely modest. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in oceanography class. Her eye was still getting tangled, but she got out of the Crown Victoria and leapt crossly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dark creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between an elephant and a book. It had seven blue eyes in its brain. "Tyjyyiboo primujidel ogetooj, liyycyp gy lubrujoo, laponok fiwhoog," the creature said.
"Behold," Bella said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Propel leaf trowel silk meat tenderizer talk to cornfield," the thing drawled.
"Holy frijole. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Ticyvooju bottle shugojigup."
"Why don't you take your bottle and shove it in your femur?" Bella retorted.
The creature looked dumb. "Tunuwulo flymunetyp apupoj, pasojel," it repeated. "Tuflujad!" it continued.
"Your face is a tuflujad!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, talkative creature; she was feeling unusually somber. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or news reporter. If she had been carrying an aspersion, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Simpson will be delighted to see you."
The creature sailed slightly and stared into space. Then it rose up on its queer legs, puffed out its spleen and paraded grandly toward her.
For the first time, Bella had the urge to run, but her Achilles tendon was bulging and her legs refused to move.
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