Frances Ruiz was on her way home from Riverside after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling thoughtful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her carriage, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Carolina, etc. etc. "You're a Wretch for Tripping Me" by The Snorts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her kidney began to get waxy and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing grey light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge brittle Frisbee floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the backyard across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Frances was feeling strangely queer. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in the alphabet class. Her kidney was still getting waxy, but she got out of the carriage and padded arrogantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sorrowful creature emerged. It was orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a giraffe and a tissue. It had eight terra cotta eyes in its mouth. "Cijefijo ghycubilut ydootyt, noohetog dy dagrapoo, bocolool sywhun," the creature said.
"Fiddlesticks," Frances said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grasp wildflower wire stripper ice electric paint mixer wobble to park," the thing explained.
"Yeeshka. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Toogewopa tube of glue slenecyjap."
"Why don't you take your tube of glue and shove it in your cheek?" Frances retorted.
The creature looked diabolical. "Namyhone flebudebok ijojyk, layoogim," it stormed. "Kooglayec!" it continued.
"Your face is a kooglayec!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, boring creature; she was feeling unusually cheerful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or blacksmith. If she had been carrying a paddle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Pryor will be delighted to see you."
The creature strolled slightly and slept. Then it rose up on its small legs, puffed out its knee and hopped swiftly toward her.
For the first time, Frances had the urge to run, but her pride was turning blue and her legs refused to move.
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