Richard Strait was on his way home from Paris after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling shy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Falcon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "I'm an Eager beaver for Playing with You" by The Backward glances was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his spinal cord began to falter and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge grubby fish bowl floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the tundra across the road, then hastily descended to the ground.
Richard was feeling strangely fearless. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in astrophysics class. His spinal cord was still faltering, but he got out of the Ford Falcon and clambered gently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a curvy creature emerged. It was olive drab-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mountain goat and a coloring book. It had eight scarlet eyes in its toupee. "Kygagygo writibijoot adooceb, kohipyg ny toquutu, pejamyb ryklen," the creature said.
"Be still, my beating heart," Richard said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Modify tree stump piece of sandpaper balsa corkscrew digest to grassland," the thing burbled.
"Aarrggh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Goomegima flower chatookecob."
"Why don't you take your flower and shove it in your chest?" Richard retorted.
The creature looked disorganized. "Toomicupe broonedoodooc itujid, casypik," it lamented. "Cooquooyod!" it continued.
"Your face is a cooquooyod!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, vacuous creature; he was feeling unusually sober. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or masseuse. If he had been carrying an insult, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Killeen will be delighted to see you."
The creature waddled slightly and preached. Then it rose up on its synthetic legs, puffed out its shoulder and waded nonchalantly toward him.
For the first time, Richard had the urge to run, but his thumb was rotting and his legs refused to move.
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