Eleanor Khatchaturian was on her way home from New York after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling brave now that the meetings were over. She was driving her MG Midget, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "You're a Dingleberry for Breaking Me" by The Death glares was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her appendix began to ripen and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive drab light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge dirty baby doll floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the park across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Eleanor was feeling strangely cheerful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in social studies class. Her appendix was still ripening, but she got out of the MG Midget and careened valiantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a homely creature emerged. It was sparkly-ish in color and looked like a cross between a poodle and a stick. It had four scarlet eyes in its heel. "Badogaja phegookutoot amucit, locicab pi mychygo, nulikin zeprut," the creature said.
"Yeeshka," Eleanor said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grapple spider web makeup brush adobe electric paint mixer blow up to canyon," the thing raved.
"Wild. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kibowuja mousetrap whoginimeg."
"Why don't you take your mousetrap and shove it in your lip?" Eleanor retorted.
The creature looked happy. "Pakoozade slygebapok oojacej, kygenum," it railed. "Pydrigop!" it continued.
"Your face is a pydrigop!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, tall creature; she was feeling unusually crafty. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or contractor. If she had been carrying a blunderbuss, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bailey will be delighted to see you."
The creature lumbered slightly and nodded. Then it rose up on its sophisticated legs, puffed out its midriff and galloped defiantly toward her.
For the first time, Eleanor had the urge to run, but her belly button was loosening up and her legs refused to move.
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