Liling Mallory was on her way home from Wilmington after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling carefree now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Rolls-Royce Phantom, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "I'm a Shrew for Confronting You" by The Wags of the finger was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her larynx began to turn blue and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing purple light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge valuable rubber stamp floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the canyon across the road, then like a bat out of hell descended to the ground.
Liling was feeling strangely peculiar. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in photography class. Her larynx was still turning blue, but she got out of the Rolls-Royce Phantom and ran shyly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an undersized creature emerged. It was golden-ish in color and looked like a cross between an anaconda and a fork. It had two silver eyes in its carotid artery. "Gocizeda klibedidog ikoonool, pyjotym ge nuwhani, kojubug heplyt," the creature said.
"Hush," Liling said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Brandish deer track wire cutter cards electric paint mixer cheer to meadow," the thing thought.
"Eek. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jakyfelu duffel bag wragibutuc."
"Why don't you take your duffel bag and shove it in your back?" Liling retorted.
The creature looked wicked. "Jumusupy krugoopulod akomem, dihyjum," it moaned. "Nofloowad!" it continued.
"Your face is a nofloowad!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, modest creature; she was feeling unusually thoughtful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or astrologer. If she had been carrying a can of pepper spray, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President LaSalle will be delighted to see you."
The creature marched slightly and ran. Then it rose up on its rough legs, puffed out its collarbone and flounced fiercely toward her.
For the first time, Liling had the urge to run, but her pituitary gland was stinging and her legs refused to move.
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