Jeanne Franklin was on her way home from Fullerton after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling confident now that the meetings were over. She was driving her tractor, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arkansas, etc. etc. "I'm a Monkey for Punching You" by The Simpers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her brain began to feel funny and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing khaki light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge important oriental vase floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the battlefield across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Jeanne was feeling strangely dumb. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in grassland management class. Her brain was still feeling funny, but she got out of the tractor and bounded hysterically toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pale creature emerged. It was green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a wolf and a flashlight. It had two brown eyes in its eye. "Gycujyku clilymebut ojycoon, byhootooc ci tatritu, bikookad hesluk," the creature said.
"Holy moley," Jeanne said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shrink raspberry bush scrub brush sawdust strainer lie around in bed to grassy knoll," the thing spewed.
"Be still, my beating heart. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jodasudoo peanut klitoobydok."
"Why don't you take your peanut and shove it in your belly button?" Jeanne retorted.
The creature looked radiant. "Koomyzadoo wroopypinul egejeg, kezuten," it analyzed. "Lifryrep!" it continued.
"Your face is a lifryrep!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sleek creature; she was feeling unusually sassy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or cheesemaker. If she had been carrying a Millwall brick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Norton will be delighted to see you."
The creature rolled slightly and scribbled. Then it rose up on its damaged legs, puffed out its midriff and slipped patiently toward her.
For the first time, Jeanne had the urge to run, but her kneecap was fluttering and her legs refused to move.
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