Kaylee Berkowitz was on her way home from Des Moines after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling petulant now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Dodge Dart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "You're a Vile viper for Betraying Me" by The Sniffles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her front tooth began to unravel and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing carrot-orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ridged arrowhead floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountainside across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Kaylee was feeling strangely forgetful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in journalism class. Her front tooth was still unraveling, but she got out of the Dodge Dart and capered nonchalantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a disheveled creature emerged. It was maroon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a warthog and a bag of popcorn. It had four mauve eyes in its pituitary gland. "Netyzano phoomikoonip econyj, moyatem mi bephyni, tagedum cybrot," the creature said.
"Drop dead," Kaylee said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Photograph piece of bark trowel straw bale fork freak out to badlands area," the thing simpered.
"Lord be praised. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lilizuda cupcake dredajopip."
"Why don't you take your cupcake and shove it in your femur?" Kaylee retorted.
The creature looked sketchy. "Lamiwuky whupybutyk opopek, nagydan," it jeered. "Cuthovuj!" it continued.
"Your face is a cuthovuj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, bald creature; she was feeling unusually petulant. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or parole officer. If she had been carrying a silver bullet, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Owen will be delighted to see you."
The creature tiptoed slightly and whistled. Then it rose up on its jagged legs, puffed out its pinky and went viciously toward her.
For the first time, Kaylee had the urge to run, but her thumb was flaking off and her legs refused to move.
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