Julia Griffin was on her way home from Pittsburgh after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling stubborn now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Maserati, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Iowa, etc. etc. "You're a Tattletale for Peeking at Me" by The Finger guns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyelash began to shrink and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ancient balloon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the river across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Julia was feeling strangely somber. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in gaming class. Her eyelash was still shrinking, but she got out of the Maserati and swaggered coldly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bony creature emerged. It was brilliant orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a ladybug and a doll. It had seven amber eyes in its gall bladder. "Metygoodo krijiludil oonyjoon, lywagit po geklugo, coobujeg woocrag," the creature said.
"Dag nabbit," Julia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Prod tree stump pipe wrench yarn grater relax to oasis," the thing phrased.
"Bravo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pyjooyalo chain quokalitom."
"Why don't you take your chain and shove it in your buttocks?" Julia retorted.
The creature looked garrulous. "Mokesoobo frigigipon agukip, poowubok," it bellowed. "Neslayit!" it continued.
"Your face is a neslayit!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, proud creature; she was feeling unusually carefree. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or computer programmer. If she had been carrying a Molotov cocktail, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ratwort will be delighted to see you."
The creature slipped slightly and fretted. Then it rose up on its stolen legs, puffed out its skin and waddled glibly toward her.
For the first time, Julia had the urge to run, but her chest was fluttering and her legs refused to move.
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