Sandi Tweedie was on her way home from Eugene after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling woozy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Gremlin, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "I'm a Bully for Joking with You" by The Sniggers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her larynx began to melt and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing navy blue light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gruesome paper clip floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the moonscape across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Sandi was feeling strangely woozy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in obedience class. Her larynx was still melting, but she got out of the Gremlin and sprinted joyously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a disheveled creature emerged. It was violet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a weasel and a saddle. It had seven yellow eyes in its jaw. "Bicyzaki glejitotit ujoogoom, mooyecyb je boflici, goocumok cyklyb," the creature said.
"Aha," Sandi said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Inflate tree stump coping saw cow pie electric paint mixer blank out to stream," the thing vowed.
"Crikey. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Toocejykoo paintbrush brikagabin."
"Why don't you take your paintbrush and shove it in your gall bladder?" Sandi retorted.
The creature looked proud. "Bigasaju dretulyted onemob, lijotoob," it clarified. "Coosleyel!" it continued.
"Your face is a coosleyel!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, impish creature; she was feeling unusually sarcastic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or pharmacist. If she had been carrying a fishing pole, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bratt will be delighted to see you."
The creature rushed slightly and giggled. Then it rose up on its plastic legs, puffed out its kneecap and lumbered happily toward her.
For the first time, Sandi had the urge to run, but her earlobe was vibrating and her legs refused to move.
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