Harry Gorman was on his way home from Bucharest after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Lexus, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "You're a Punk for Manipulating Me" by The Shivers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his artery began to soften and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing burgundy light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge nifty cigarette floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the wasteland across the road, then moderately descended to the ground.
Harry was feeling strangely generous. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in plumbing class. His artery was still softening, but he got out of the Lexus and lumbered daintily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a small creature emerged. It was burgundy-ish in color and looked like a cross between an oyster and a hubcap. It had three maroon eyes in its hand. "Gumuzyby whodapanim yjenep, miyujyt bi peslibu, tuloopal gaphon," the creature said.
"Loopers," Harry said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Lynch bear track bolt cutter pillow candy thermometer calm down to marsh," the thing rationalized.
"Yowie. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pujyroopa teddy bear slemycojat."
"Why don't you take your teddy bear and shove it in your skull?" Harry retorted.
The creature looked shy. "Mynujooju slenalunaj utetup, joocadooc," it cackled. "Tiklurup!" it continued.
"Your face is a tiklurup!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, athletic creature; he was feeling unusually confident. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or funeral director. If he had been carrying a shiv, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bishop will be delighted to see you."
The creature sailed slightly and whistled. Then it rose up on its flaky legs, puffed out its thumb and pranced offhandedly toward him.
For the first time, Harry had the urge to run, but his brain was turning grey and his legs refused to move.
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