Ethel McCoy was on her way home from Medellin after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling daring now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Toyota Prius, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "You're a Madman for Winking at Me" by The Sniffles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her bladder began to scale off and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aquamarine light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge odd crutch floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plain across the road, then briskly descended to the ground.
Ethel was feeling strangely fiendish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in traditional medicine class. Her bladder was still scaling off, but she got out of the Toyota Prius and tramped quickly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a roly-poly creature emerged. It was black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bison and a cream puff. It had seven pink eyes in its bladder. "Kodiceji klitikylam ujaloon, mirebik jy gooprepe, kekatoot saklol," the creature said.
"For the love of Pete," Ethel said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Propel cactus corkscrew wire strainer do nothing to oasis," the thing cajoled.
"Cool beans. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Telocoji thumb drive krocookodak."
"Why don't you take your thumb drive and shove it in your thigh?" Ethel retorted.
The creature looked grizzled. "Dookuremo trajoojujod adoojyc, kuyeguk," it fumed. "Cepryjym!" it continued.
"Your face is a cepryjym!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, statuesque creature; she was feeling unusually timid. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or emergency medical technician. If she had been carrying a tomahawk, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ratwort will be delighted to see you."
The creature galumphed slightly and dealt cards. Then it rose up on its hefty legs, puffed out its adrenal gland and stalked accidentally toward her.
For the first time, Ethel had the urge to run, but her pinky was dribbling and her legs refused to move.
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