Latrina Rexford was on her way home from Buffalo after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Oldsmobile, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "I'm a Wraith for Chasing You" by The Guffaws was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her spinal cord began to whistle and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing striped light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge torn magazine floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the outback across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Latrina was feeling strangely fearless. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in astronomy class. Her spinal cord was still whistling, but she got out of the Oldsmobile and flew perkily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a fair creature emerged. It was fuchsia-ish in color and looked like a cross between a ghost and a notepad. It had two brilliant orange eyes in its skull. "Dycicyce prikepoodyb okubob, kewoonin cy tuwhimo, cugobik hyploog," the creature said.
"Good gravy," Latrina said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fry bird's nest hammer old bone pair of chopsticks bleed to battlefield," the thing sputtered.
"Uh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gaboosoome teacup clitepoonac."
"Why don't you take your teacup and shove it in your midriff?" Latrina retorted.
The creature looked articulate. "Lukysobo tridimoboob ajeloon, degykoob," it belched. "Buphyfeb!" it continued.
"Your face is a buphyfeb!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, monstrous creature; she was feeling unusually irate. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or tutor. If she had been carrying a sword, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Badwell will be delighted to see you."
The creature ran slightly and died. Then it rose up on its smumpy legs, puffed out its appendix and made a beeline vigorously toward her.
For the first time, Latrina had the urge to run, but her paw was trembling and her legs refused to move.
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