Octavio Gagné was on his way home from Eugene after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Suburu Outback, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "You're a Dimwit for Sneering at Me" by The Smiles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his wrist began to feel heavy and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gaudy grease gun floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the circus tent across the road, then hastily descended to the ground.
Octavio was feeling strangely muddled. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in deportment class. His wrist was still feeling heavy, but he got out of the Suburu Outback and made a beeline sourly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a haggard creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a badger and a rubber stamp. It had two olive green eyes in its hoof. "Domisimu flalunopic inetip, kohenal jy noshydoo, dootojon zyquil," the creature said.
"Eureka," Octavio said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Decorate tree branch hex key peanut butter electric mixer dither to bog," the thing begged.
"Okay then. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nydoojymoo dish shenemoodac."
"Why don't you take your dish and shove it in your piehole?" Octavio retorted.
The creature looked paranoid. "Joogijooca slabycypit ilukat, mooyidit," it instructed. "Pubryzit!" it continued.
"Your face is a pubryzit!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, considerate creature; he was feeling unusually disagreeable. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or executioner. If he had been carrying an air freshener, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Grady will be delighted to see you."
The creature sashayed slightly and breathed. Then it rose up on its brightly-colored legs, puffed out its piehole and bolted nervously toward him.
For the first time, Octavio had the urge to run, but his lung was bending and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter