Katy Ashe was on her way home from Perth Amboy after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sassy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford pickup, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Tennessee, etc. etc. "You're a Fathead for Challenging Me" by The Wrinkled noses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her fingernail began to dance and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge nice pacifier floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pasture across the road, then like crazy descended to the ground.
Katy was feeling strangely somber. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Latin class. Her fingernail was still dancing, but she got out of the Ford pickup and slipped coldly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spry creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a walrus and a deck of cards. It had eight camouflage eyes in its thorax. "Pecygyti glekalynyc amitam, jooviten ci lagligi, bakebod sewroon," the creature said.
"I'm sure," Katy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Certify feather panic button cement blender come along to mountain," the thing blustered.
"Wowsers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mibijejoo sea shell klapemobut."
"Why don't you take your sea shell and shove it in your scalp?" Katy retorted.
The creature looked prickly. "Licifuko priloonotag idootyg, tefygip," it mumbled. "Piflohoc!" it continued.
"Your face is a piflohoc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, maniacal creature; she was feeling unusually self-confident. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or guitarist. If she had been carrying a can opener, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bernal will be delighted to see you."
The creature waddled slightly and itched. Then it rose up on its cheap legs, puffed out its palm and pranced madly toward her.
For the first time, Katy had the urge to run, but her waist was turning grey and her legs refused to move.
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