Freddie Law was on his way home from Chesapeake after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Dodge Dart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "I'm a Crazy person for Aggravating You" by The Pouts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his horn began to feel numb and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chartreuse light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge excellent air compressor floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the neighborhood across the road, then busily descended to the ground.
Freddie was feeling strangely frantic. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in human development class. His horn was still feeling numb, but he got out of the Dodge Dart and paraded immediately toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a handsome creature emerged. It was scarlet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a shark and a playing card. It had four mauve eyes in its pinky. "Bobogoku phunajydom akeloc, neyadyg na judryboo, jitaceg yoclym," the creature said.
"Yowsers," Freddie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Observe bit of litter power washer porcelain paring knife get rigid to neighborhood," the thing divulged.
"Hmm. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Negivimi crayon wramumybop."
"Why don't you take your crayon and shove it in your hairdo?" Freddie retorted.
The creature looked big. "Mygyzoby trepokudec epanoot, jujugoog," it avowed. "Doobrowum!" it continued.
"Your face is a doobrowum!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, mindless creature; he was feeling unusually somber. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or funeral director. If he had been carrying a can of spray paint, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Frizzlewump will be delighted to see you."
The creature tramped slightly and begged. Then it rose up on its decrepit legs, puffed out its head and traipsed effortlessly toward him.
For the first time, Freddie had the urge to run, but his kneecap was bending and his legs refused to move.
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