Anita Wilhelm was on her way home from Topeka after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling affable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her limousine, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of California, etc. etc. "You're a Jerk for Cuddling Me" by The Bounds was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her dignity began to heat up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge stolen feather floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the meadow across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Anita was feeling strangely peckish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in folklore class. Her dignity was still heating up, but she got out of the limousine and straggled furiously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slick creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bison and a Big Gulp. It had eight amber eyes in its arm. "Jajysagy clujytoonec uliboom, cegepeb dy myglidoo, gutajob ciwroot," the creature said.
"Behold," Anita said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Forget twig love meter post and beam strainer wail to battlefield," the thing hummed.
"Ow. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Negefooly rubber chicken shutoocoopol."
"Why don't you take your rubber chicken and shove it in your leg?" Anita retorted.
The creature looked relaxed. "Kopyfoni crakeludon enacol, mefoobij," it debated. "Mokluwak!" it continued.
"Your face is a mokluwak!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, prissy creature; she was feeling unusually brash. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or typist. If she had been carrying a Colt 45, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Peng will be delighted to see you."
The creature darted slightly and smiled. Then it rose up on its worn legs, puffed out its ankle and sashayed fearlessly toward her.
For the first time, Anita had the urge to run, but her spinal cord was popping and her legs refused to move.
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