Grover Quinlan was on his way home from Little Big Horn after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling lazy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Toyota Land Cruiser, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kansas, etc. etc. "I'm a Bully for Stopping You" by The Squints was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his thumb began to get moist and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge synthetic comb floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the treetop across the road, then screamingly descended to the ground.
Grover was feeling strangely peckish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in physics class. His thumb was still getting moist, but he got out of the Toyota Land Cruiser and tramped humbly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a hairy creature emerged. It was fuchsia-ish in color and looked like a cross between a pony and a button. It had three ivory eyes in its kidney. "Jutavugoo crumadugec ujukun, myyolop too luflamy, mejiput vuphum," the creature said.
"Nice," Grover said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Throw tree pizza cutter leather potato peeler itch to housing development," the thing blustered.
"Shoo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Loolovalo avocado whacanipil."
"Why don't you take your avocado and shove it in your spinal cord?" Grover retorted.
The creature looked selfish. "Dujysylo drajoodipad obidin, jugikil," it questioned. "Pythirud!" it continued.
"Your face is a pythirud!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, stylish creature; he was feeling unusually furious. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or judge. If he had been carrying a can opener, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sludge will be delighted to see you."
The creature galloped slightly and clattered. Then it rose up on its plain legs, puffed out its thyroid gland and struggled glibly toward him.
For the first time, Grover had the urge to run, but his intestine was ringing and his legs refused to move.
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