Virginia Ordway was on her way home from Tallahassee after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Subaru, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Michigan, etc. etc. "I'm a Troglodyte for Dating You" by The Snorts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her tongue began to wobble and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing fuchsia light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ruined wrench floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the field across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Virginia was feeling strangely fearful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in veterinary medicine class. Her tongue was still wobbling, but she got out of the Subaru and traipsed fervently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bedraggled creature emerged. It was periwinkle-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ant and a calling card. It had four metallic red eyes in its neck. "Gadyzoony shokoboobum ipooloj, cafycic ja tisloopoo, ganumyp zeslyl," the creature said.
"How about that," Virginia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pluck weed flashlight snow melon baller squeak to marsh," the thing belched.
"Scat. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cocoojooci business card prakytatoot."
"Why don't you take your business card and shove it in your arm?" Virginia retorted.
The creature looked ambitious. "Jucuwado phomynykik enatot, goorogyn," it yelled. "Luwrezeb!" it continued.
"Your face is a luwrezeb!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, radiant creature; she was feeling unusually modest. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or mayor. If she had been carrying a firecracker, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ibrahim will be delighted to see you."
The creature skidded slightly and looked puzzled. Then it rose up on its gooey legs, puffed out its gut and slumped elatedly toward her.
For the first time, Virginia had the urge to run, but her intestine was heaving and her legs refused to move.
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