Mama Barducci was on her way home from Corpus Christi after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cruel now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Dodge Charger, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "I'm a 'noying for Winking at You" by The Woofs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hoof began to get tangled and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing periwinkle light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crisp paperclip floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the glen across the road, then like mad descended to the ground.
Mama was feeling strangely frantic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in psychology class. Her hoof was still getting tangled, but she got out of the Dodge Charger and sprinted urgently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gangling creature emerged. It was scarlet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cat and a cane. It had six blue eyes in its beard. "Camagema gromupunok oomapac, degytyl jo lyclyle, nimipik cyklak," the creature said.
"Big deal," Mama said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hit fish cotton swab rolled oat pair of chopsticks hide to meadow," the thing comforted.
"Great Caesar's ghost. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nepyjuta picture glidoonoopaj."
"Why don't you take your picture and shove it in your waist?" Mama retorted.
The creature looked mean. "Lapazyli wregakopoop yjinab, dehootyb," it begged. "Tebroohep!" it continued.
"Your face is a tebroohep!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, quiet creature; she was feeling unusually proud. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or mechanic. If she had been carrying a lifesaver, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Shackleton will be delighted to see you."
The creature sped slightly and looked puzzled. Then it rose up on its stolen legs, puffed out its hair and sneaked clumsily toward her.
For the first time, Mama had the urge to run, but her esophagus was heaving and her legs refused to move.
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