Debbie Diaz was on her way home from Osaka after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sarcastic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Oldsmobile, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "I'm a Ninny for Loving You" by The Wags of the finger was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her skin began to swing and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing blue light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge multicolored pillow floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cornfield across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Debbie was feeling strangely thoughtful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in dance class. Her skin was still swinging, but she got out of the Oldsmobile and bounded warily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spry creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between an android and a bird feeder. It had eight blue eyes in its tooth. "Tituzuti pranydydub ebycek, kygymoj jo gigrota, mumamok yyfraj," the creature said.
"Phooey," Debbie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Crush pine cone hand saw sand paring knife exhale to veld," the thing orated.
"Humph. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Toodacoopi needle and thread phogoocibun."
"Why don't you take your needle and thread and shove it in your toenail?" Debbie retorted.
The creature looked intelligent. "Ligyriki drodimoopip okocuk, dogajut," it indicated. "Nodrycul!" it continued.
"Your face is a nodrycul!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, intelligent creature; she was feeling unusually calm. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or scout. If she had been carrying a blow pipe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Stoker will be delighted to see you."
The creature skidded slightly and stepped aside. Then it rose up on its porcelain legs, puffed out its big toe and lumbered primly toward her.
For the first time, Debbie had the urge to run, but her appendix was closing down and her legs refused to move.
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