Julieann Finch was on her way home from Bologna after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling generous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her gondola, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Missouri, etc. etc. "You're a Worm for Slapping Me" by The Hiccups was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her ankle began to float and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge heavy coconut floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the crime scene across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Julieann was feeling strangely cautious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in penmanship class. Her ankle was still floating, but she got out of the gondola and scooted ferociously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plump creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a beagle and a bowl. It had three emerald green eyes in its waist. "Cukoyoole claboojemoom oobipup, byyodyp ge mesheme, macoteb fycran," the creature said.
"For the love of Pete," Julieann said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Comprehend raspberry bush wire cutter cinder block cheesecloth exhale to bog," the thing opined.
"Big deal. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tobajili saddle tregunymyb."
"Why don't you take your saddle and shove it in your knee?" Julieann retorted.
The creature looked enraged. "Jabejecy wrejakidan epotan, goohaguc," it thought. "Nawrerup!" it continued.
"Your face is a nawrerup!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, disorganized creature; she was feeling unusually calm. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or engineer. If she had been carrying a dagger, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Austin will be delighted to see you."
The creature danced slightly and hiccuped. Then it rose up on its gruesome legs, puffed out its brain and galloped lazily toward her.
For the first time, Julieann had the urge to run, but her thorax was burbling and her legs refused to move.
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