Erin Richter was on her way home from Oceanside after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling resolute now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Mustang Convertible, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arkansas, etc. etc. "I'm a Slug for Stinging You" by The Evil eyes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her intestine began to flutter and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing red light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fabulous flag floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the village across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
Erin was feeling strangely calm. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in folklore class. Her intestine was still fluttering, but she got out of the Mustang Convertible and galloped positively toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dinky creature emerged. It was jet black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a weasel and a paper airplane. It had six olive green eyes in its collarbone. "Bujyfagoo plipumaben ijykon, gooyoolood pe lobrybu, nubokil sethun," the creature said.
"Verily," Erin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Handle maple tree jackhammer marble candy thermometer blank out to canyon," the thing sniped.
"Behold. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Loojifijy air compressor grutojidet."
"Why don't you take your air compressor and shove it in your antenna?" Erin retorted.
The creature looked pigeon-toed. "Nogerooco trenutemik okydyc, gyyegyp," it imitated. "Toocrahuc!" it continued.
"Your face is a toocrahuc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, conceited creature; she was feeling unusually angry. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or crane operator. If she had been carrying a snowball, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Abrams will be delighted to see you."
The creature stormed slightly and got upset. Then it rose up on its leather legs, puffed out its toe and scampered lickety-split toward her.
For the first time, Erin had the urge to run, but her scalp was shimmering and her legs refused to move.
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