Cinderella Lancaster was on her way home from New Orleans after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling decisive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her city bus, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Sloth for Tormenting Me" by The Power fists was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her vein began to get wonky and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing hot pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge autographed ping-pong paddle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the meadow across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
Cinderella was feeling strangely somber. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in health class. Her vein was still getting wonky, but she got out of the city bus and sashayed lickety-split toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dapper creature emerged. It was emerald green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a grasshopper and an umbrella. It had three burgundy eyes in its piehole. "Madigomu quetoomoomun ejetoog, nifyguj by lookrijo, kakygyt wooprin," the creature said.
"No no no," Cinderella said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Comprehend tree hex key tempered glass meat tenderizer dance to seacoast," the thing hollered.
"Ha-ha. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pybaryka teapot krymygipeg."
"Why don't you take your teapot and shove it in your hand?" Cinderella retorted.
The creature looked selfish. "Bacareko quupymotop okoopal, tewijeg," it wailed. "Laglurup!" it continued.
"Your face is a laglurup!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, resolute creature; she was feeling unusually amiable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or historian. If she had been carrying a butcher knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Zing will be delighted to see you."
The creature skidded slightly and preached. Then it rose up on its weird legs, puffed out its artery and scampered energetically toward her.
For the first time, Cinderella had the urge to run, but her waist was going numb and her legs refused to move.
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