Marissa Ortmann was on her way home from Santa Rosa after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Buick Skylark, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Jersey, etc. etc. "I'm a Blatherskite for Doubting You" by The Guffaws was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her pancreas began to quake and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing navy blue light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ragged can of beer floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the outback across the road, then smoothly descended to the ground.
Marissa was feeling strangely sassy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in French class. Her pancreas was still quaking, but she got out of the Buick Skylark and zoomed violently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a well-built creature emerged. It was peach-ish in color and looked like a cross between a goldfish and a fishing rod. It had four fuchsia eyes in its forehead. "Jookagoomi wrobookoogoj ynokan, dafanoob gi peplabi, goodajud seploom," the creature said.
"Really," Marissa said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Handle twig scraper vinyl potato peeler pace to cave," the thing articulated.
"Mommy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cotefocu bone drikabogig."
"Why don't you take your bone and shove it in your knee?" Marissa retorted.
The creature looked choleric. "Bymejugi whemojetool oogoojop, lywigoob," it laughed. "Daquufap!" it continued.
"Your face is a daquufap!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, wily creature; she was feeling unusually peculiar. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or barber. If she had been carrying a harpoon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Coleman will be delighted to see you."
The creature careened slightly and ran. Then it rose up on its important legs, puffed out its brain and hopped lamely toward her.
For the first time, Marissa had the urge to run, but her ear was undulating and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter