Linda Wilhelm was on her way home from Birmingham after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling peculiar now that the meetings were over. She was driving her skateboard, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "You're a Numskull for Scaring Me" by The Shouts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her adrenal gland began to bunch up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge synthetic spinning wheel floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the backyard across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Linda was feeling strangely fearless. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in penmanship class. Her adrenal gland was still bunching up, but she got out of the skateboard and inched slowly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a thin creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bison and an etching. It had two emerald green eyes in its ear. "Kucyvipe whoojoobokut ucyceg, moyoopoon di leploga, detageg gooslob," the creature said.
"Cowabunga," Linda said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pat cactus heat gun rammed earth dull knife watch to outback," the thing piped up.
"Judas Priest. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Joolaheca football quopugoodab."
"Why don't you take your football and shove it in your head?" Linda retorted.
The creature looked fuzzy. "Jonehygi whacutedom agookid, bagekog," it yawned. "Moograzoot!" it continued.
"Your face is a moograzoot!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, miniscule creature; she was feeling unusually cuddly. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or journalist. If she had been carrying a silver bullet, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hughes will be delighted to see you."
The creature sauntered slightly and calmed down. Then it rose up on its art deco legs, puffed out its spine and blundered properly toward her.
For the first time, Linda had the urge to run, but her spinal cord was relaxing and her legs refused to move.
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