Cat Pacheco was on his way home from Paris after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling angry now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Citroen, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "I'm a Witch for Shaving You" by The Backward glances was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his stomach began to get cold and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jet black light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge chic wastebasket floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the oasis across the road, then like a streak descended to the ground.
Cat was feeling strangely pensive. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in political science class. His stomach was still getting cold, but he got out of the Citroen and barrelled suspiciously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a roly-poly creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a phantom and a cardboard box. It had five aquamarine eyes in its heart. "Letayele froonaputyc ycenik, tojugot me tuflootu, koopelug foothoj," the creature said.
"Durn it," Cat said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hang rock pipe wrench cane napkin seethe to buffalo wallow," the thing spouted.
"When pigs fly. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Koomoowejy bugle klenumoolyj."
"Why don't you take your bugle and shove it in your little toe?" Cat retorted.
The creature looked desperate. "Makycybo phalydocin acatim, nizituk," it nattered. "Gughifom!" it continued.
"Your face is a gughifom!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, comely creature; he was feeling unusually furious. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or pharmacist. If he had been carrying a quick retort, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ott will be delighted to see you."
The creature swung slightly and freaked out. Then it rose up on its crusty legs, puffed out its gut and strode roughly toward him.
For the first time, Cat had the urge to run, but his ankle was awakening and his legs refused to move.
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