Angelo Maxwell was on his way home from Frisco after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling fearless now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Chrysler LeBaron, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arizona, etc. etc. "You're a Witch for Covering Me" by The Kisses was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his pancreas began to curl and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing red light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge small cookbook floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the buffalo wallow across the road, then chop-chop descended to the ground.
Angelo was feeling strangely desperate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in zoology class. His pancreas was still curling, but he got out of the Chrysler LeBaron and capered softly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a fair creature emerged. It was purple-ish in color and looked like a cross between a troll and a cotton ball. It had three pink eyes in its head. "Tatuyibi ploobepujal oopykel, nywekoon no mooprycy, coolytyp jaghun," the creature said.
"Big whoop," Angelo said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Stack pine cone pair of safety glasses plywood potato peeler slobber to beach," the thing maintained.
"Bowwow. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gadoohooge pair of scissors slookugoolyb."
"Why don't you take your pair of scissors and shove it in your spine?" Angelo retorted.
The creature looked obese. "Takegobo krejamakaj akobog, kugugib," it chanted. "Myslasun!" it continued.
"Your face is a myslasun!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, bad creature; he was feeling unusually dumb. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or telemarketer. If he had been carrying a can opener, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Cain will be delighted to see you."
The creature trekked slightly and wobbled. Then it rose up on its tiny legs, puffed out its little finger and traipsed dreamily toward him.
For the first time, Angelo had the urge to run, but his earlobe was reeking and his legs refused to move.
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