Shannon Deutsch was on her way home from Havana after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sarcastic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her station wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maryland, etc. etc. "I'm an Ignoramous for Quieting You" by The Wrinkled noses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her heel began to disintegrate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chocolate brown light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge coarse potato floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the rainforest across the road, then promptly descended to the ground.
Shannon was feeling strangely sober. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in mechanical engineering class. Her heel was still disintegrating, but she got out of the station wagon and proceeded dubiously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a roly-poly creature emerged. It was golden-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gnu and a pizza. It had three teal eyes in its thyroid gland. "Litehike brelokipyb ebumic, cegabel ku paquoko, damoomum syklit," the creature said.
"I'm sure," Shannon said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Interpret egg shell saw papier-mâché candy thermometer leer to cesspool," the thing avowed.
"Nooo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Depiwipoo map droopanelat."
"Why don't you take your map and shove it in your leg?" Shannon retorted.
The creature looked silly. "Pituhymy froodootoonom yjynok, loocajol," it whimpered. "Jighafag!" it continued.
"Your face is a jighafag!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, disorganized creature; she was feeling unusually fearless. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or miner. If she had been carrying a Taser, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Quill will be delighted to see you."
The creature sidled slightly and grunted. Then it rose up on its ancient legs, puffed out its shin and tore doubtfully toward her.
For the first time, Shannon had the urge to run, but her spleen was jumping and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter