Pinky Fritz was on his way home from Bellevue after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling merry now that the meetings were over. He was driving his monster truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Missouri, etc. etc. "I'm an Airhead for Cozying up to You" by The Finger guns was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his intestine began to disintegrate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing blue light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bulky rubber stamp floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the peninsula across the road, then sluggishly descended to the ground.
Pinky was feeling strangely selfish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in obedience class. His intestine was still disintegrating, but he got out of the monster truck and crept despondently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a suave creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mustang and a ball. It had seven lime-green eyes in its foot. "Dumafobo plogoonybod yloojat, nejemod go poothooga, mynibil joglen," the creature said.
"Horse feathers," Pinky said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Whirl spring chainsaw leather paring knife awaken to circus tent," the thing nattered.
"Out of this world. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Conifydoo diamond wrukujoodoon."
"Why don't you take your diamond and shove it in your tail?" Pinky retorted.
The creature looked urbane. "Gumoowida brojogocon abilyt, lysanooc," it whimpered. "Potryfut!" it continued.
"Your face is a potryfut!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, energetic creature; he was feeling unusually maniacal. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or plumber. If he had been carrying a vial of poison, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Emery will be delighted to see you."
The creature sped slightly and blinked. Then it rose up on its gooey legs, puffed out its eye and crept openly toward him.
For the first time, Pinky had the urge to run, but his ego was jamming up and his legs refused to move.
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