Bretta Gonzalez was on her way home from Knoxville after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling nervous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her transporter, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "I'm a Villain for Suing You" by The Wrinkled noses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her ego began to crumble and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing indigo light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ridged balloon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cesspool across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Bretta was feeling strangely awkward. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Angolan studies class. Her ego was still crumbling, but she got out of the transporter and climbed anxiously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a small creature emerged. It was maroon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a walrus and an accordion. It had eight peach eyes in its hair. "Namejyko phacocumug imoojig, cyzapoom ke neshone, pydybyc zoplep," the creature said.
"Of course," Bretta said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Extinguish seed pod wrench jewel slotted spoon deal cards to lagoon," the thing retorted.
"In your dreams. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dubuhopy cracker groomimootooj."
"Why don't you take your cracker and shove it in your bicep?" Bretta retorted.
The creature looked hungry. "Mederyno brucynobob ygoojik, bisumyt," it roared. "Cokloozen!" it continued.
"Your face is a cokloozen!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, charming creature; she was feeling unusually hysterical. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or interior designer. If she had been carrying an air rifle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Olson will be delighted to see you."
The creature galumphed slightly and played Farmer in the Dell. Then it rose up on its ordinary legs, puffed out its spleen and darted resignedly toward her.
For the first time, Bretta had the urge to run, but her thumb was floating and her legs refused to move.
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