Huong Beach was on her way home from Eau Claire after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling crafty now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Plymouth, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arkansas, etc. etc. "I'm a Baby for Controlling You" by The Titters was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her spleen began to lighten up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge papery iPhone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountaintop across the road, then double-time descended to the ground.
Huong was feeling strangely frantic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Saudi Arabian studies class. Her spleen was still lightening up, but she got out of the Plymouth and sauntered sourly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an Asian creature emerged. It was black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a shark and a cream puff. It had seven terra cotta eyes in its little toe. "Cotesooga wrymygatyk ucoocit, goofyped no pisliki, bubootyk yadraj," the creature said.
"You don't say," Huong said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Lynch bit of litter punch ice dish cloth get angry to arroyo," the thing griped.
"Retch. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gygewygy model airplane thumoogabac."
"Why don't you take your model airplane and shove it in your carotid artery?" Huong retorted.
The creature looked dismal. "Bonefoobe whookonylooc olepum, toogedun," it piped up. "Gigroojib!" it continued.
"Your face is a gigroojib!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, playful creature; she was feeling unusually maniacal. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or typing teacher. If she had been carrying a dirk, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hayes will be delighted to see you."
The creature slumped slightly and stretched. Then it rose up on its spongy legs, puffed out its kidney and sailed valiantly toward her.
For the first time, Huong had the urge to run, but her pancreas was burning and her legs refused to move.
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