Carol Tuttle was on her way home from Guadalajara after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cantankerous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her monster truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "You're a Lubberly lout for Aggravating Me" by The Snuffles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her knuckle began to melt and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing beige light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge nice bedpan floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountain across the road, then sluggishly descended to the ground.
Carol was feeling strangely ambitious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in environmental science class. Her knuckle was still melting, but she got out of the monster truck and lurched threateningly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a fit creature emerged. It was scarlet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a ring-tailed lemur and a playing card. It had eight scarlet eyes in its throat. "Gypuciti wrylojudug ogygyk, cajotol du loshooloo, mykanol cooplul," the creature said.
"Judas Priest," Carol said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Beat raspberry bush protractor chicken wire piece of cheesecloth rock to village," the thing demanded.
"Caramba. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mydyjyko chamber pot quolutedyk."
"Why don't you take your chamber pot and shove it in your little finger?" Carol retorted.
The creature looked obnoxious. "Gojesigu slumigijug inamen, bozukooc," it agreed. "Tafruget!" it continued.
"Your face is a tafruget!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, paranoid creature; she was feeling unusually somber. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or correctional officer. If she had been carrying a spear, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Worm will be delighted to see you."
The creature stalked slightly and did nothing. Then it rose up on its bizarre legs, puffed out its carotid artery and slumped courteously toward her.
For the first time, Carol had the urge to run, but her heart was feeling heavy and her legs refused to move.
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