Rock Oglesby was on his way home from Fullerton after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling queer now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Volvo, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "You're a Demon for Amusing Me" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his ear began to bend and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge puzzling piece of candy floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the park across the road, then like crazy descended to the ground.
Rock was feeling strangely drowsy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in zoology class. His ear was still bending, but he got out of the Volvo and zoomed thoughtfully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an alert creature emerged. It was khaki-ish in color and looked like a cross between a duck-billed platypus and a brochure. It had five striped eyes in its tongue. "Batezino klapotinat emocoj, cuzyceg ky jukrogo, nebajij wookrin," the creature said.
"Moo," Rock said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Slice dead tree Q-tip denim paring knife chortle to creek," the thing responded.
"Whoa baby. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cucurida chart quabojoomoog."
"Why don't you take your chart and shove it in your thigh?" Rock retorted.
The creature looked bouncy. "Kymusebe floocokicoc ulonyn, lusudap," it avowed. "Kighoocul!" it continued.
"Your face is a kighoocul!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, conceited creature; he was feeling unusually tired. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or gunsmith. If he had been carrying a stethoscope, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President James will be delighted to see you."
The creature tumbled slightly and played solitaire. Then it rose up on its yellow legs, puffed out its hangnail and sailed fondly toward him.
For the first time, Rock had the urge to run, but his lip was rolling and his legs refused to move.
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