Chelsea Conrad was on her way home from Calgary after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sober now that the meetings were over. She was driving her van, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kentucky, etc. etc. "I'm an Ignoramous for Reassuring You" by The Crows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her chest began to glisten and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge used stone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the trail across the road, then nimbly descended to the ground.
Chelsea was feeling strangely drowsy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in dressage class. Her chest was still glistening, but she got out of the van and marched suavely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a scraggly creature emerged. It was pea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a squirrel and a bag. It had five forest green eyes in its knee. "Nedeyade ghujoocoodab agipeb, kuvutop bo gootrugo, jycepen jukrot," the creature said.
"Help," Chelsea said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Protect dead fish pipe wrench spandex wooden spoon cheer up to badlands area," the thing rambled.
"Grody to the max. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nedegudu baton tredogekyb."
"Why don't you take your baton and shove it in your paw?" Chelsea retorted.
The creature looked colorless. "Lobawuky thypelijit oogoogig, byhecoon," it roared. "Gachogek!" it continued.
"Your face is a gachogek!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, moody creature; she was feeling unusually awkward. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or Internet celebrity. If she had been carrying a piercing stare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Justice will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and smiled. Then it rose up on its speckled legs, puffed out its pinky and made a beeline excitedly toward her.
For the first time, Chelsea had the urge to run, but her hoof was swinging and her legs refused to move.
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