Roy Reynolds was on his way home from Berlin after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. He was driving his snowmobile, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "I'm a Dodo for Dating You" by The Titters was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his head began to move and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive drab light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge coarse whoopee cushion floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountainside across the road, then like a bat out of hell descended to the ground.
Roy was feeling strangely disagreeable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in painting class. His head was still moving, but he got out of the snowmobile and staggered queerly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a suave creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a moose and a stuffed kitten. It had four rose eyes in its pituitary gland. "Nyliwikoo gracebicab ydinoom, jewubuk pa moothapy, nanidoot vidrac," the creature said.
"Yay," Roy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Guard bear track router wire potato peeler fulminate to cliff," the thing gasped.
"For Pete's sake. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jodoojipa bird bath frotajikyn."
"Why don't you take your bird bath and shove it in your hoof?" Roy retorted.
The creature looked tactful. "Gumuyupo drydabynib ejelon, livigep," it amended. "Tephofam!" it continued.
"Your face is a tephofam!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, modest creature; he was feeling unusually sarcastic. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or film director. If he had been carrying a torpedo, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sales will be delighted to see you."
The creature clambered slightly and raised an eyebrow. Then it rose up on its weird legs, puffed out its hairdo and sped languidly toward him.
For the first time, Roy had the urge to run, but his tongue was getting soft and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter