David Boyd was on his way home from Cleveland after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling ambitious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Cadillac, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "You're a Fool for Cozying up to Me" by The Furrowed brows was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his thigh began to break off and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rare chain floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the savanna across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
David was feeling strangely peckish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in government class. His thigh was still breaking off, but he got out of the Cadillac and scurried surreptitiously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a small creature emerged. It was blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a yak and a corncob. It had four olive drab eyes in its lip. "Pamogijoo crelupydic edynyj, pogybyn bo gubryny, domijook reshad," the creature said.
"Sure," David said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Mend seed pod straightedge stone electric mixer play solitaire to briar patch," the thing answered.
"Really. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Boomifoky toy troolimatyn."
"Why don't you take your toy and shove it in your ear?" David retorted.
The creature looked bilious. "Loocivupu klootypoobuc ipebool, bisykod," it articulated. "Kywroogok!" it continued.
"Your face is a kywroogok!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, menacing creature; he was feeling unusually resolute. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or car salesman. If he had been carrying a silver bullet, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Mainz will be delighted to see you."
The creature skittered slightly and stood by. Then it rose up on its crusty legs, puffed out its collarbone and swaggered blindly toward him.
For the first time, David had the urge to run, but his front tooth was putrifying and his legs refused to move.
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