Thaddeus Doe was on his way home from Frankfurt after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling tense now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Porsche 944, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "You're a Renegade for Banishing Me" by The Twitches was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his artery began to come undone and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing beige light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge papery ashtray floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the jungle across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Thaddeus was feeling strangely peculiar. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in constitutional law class. His artery was still coming undone, but he got out of the Porsche 944 and pranced slowly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a curvy creature emerged. It was indigo-ish in color and looked like a cross between a porcupine and a napkin. It had six polka dotted eyes in its gut. "Loonefula slelulamoop ubulic, cocecil bi locriko, kekobog hochuj," the creature said.
"Lordy," Thaddeus said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Modify stone hammer cornhusk candy thermometer swear to housing development," the thing lectured.
"Blecch. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kydejugoo rock clumoogobil."
"Why don't you take your rock and shove it in your nostril?" Thaddeus retorted.
The creature looked self-assured. "Numiyigy wridoocepel omujoot, jowomool," it panted. "Ceplisyg!" it continued.
"Your face is a ceplisyg!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, bold creature; he was feeling unusually brash. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or civil servant. If he had been carrying a butcher knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Popp will be delighted to see you."
The creature waddled slightly and itched. Then it rose up on its delicate legs, puffed out its skull and set out swiftly toward him.
For the first time, Thaddeus had the urge to run, but his ear was writhing and his legs refused to move.
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