Rufus Wu was on his way home from Kansas City after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling woozy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his flatbed truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "You're a Bumpkin for Thinking about Me" by The Laughs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his midriff began to gleam and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge colossal toy floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the savanna across the road, then diligently descended to the ground.
Rufus was feeling strangely cautious. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in alchemy class. His midriff was still gleaming, but he got out of the flatbed truck and bolted dolorously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an unkempt creature emerged. It was purple-ish in color and looked like a cross between a giraffe and a hot potato. It had eight camouflage eyes in its tongue. "Ledofulo broogudilooc apuguk, mufumyb ma noplico, ligyjun cewhoom," the creature said.
"Zzzzz," Rufus said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Balance spring makeup brush sawdust electric paint mixer do nothing to circus tent," the thing whined.
"Woohoo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Boomiweco cracker tritegibit."
"Why don't you take your cracker and shove it in your gall bladder?" Rufus retorted.
The creature looked paranoid. "Tilyhago bregulootij ekucooj, kivegok," it muttered. "Ciflecum!" it continued.
"Your face is a ciflecum!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, perky creature; he was feeling unusually hysterical. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or dry cleaner operator. If he had been carrying a soldering iron, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tran will be delighted to see you."
The creature skittered slightly and yelled. Then it rose up on its papery legs, puffed out its bladder and sashayed briskly toward him.
For the first time, Rufus had the urge to run, but his head was looking strange and his legs refused to move.
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