Georgina Tuttle was on her way home from Gilbert after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling pensive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her MINI convertible, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Carolina, etc. etc. "I'm a Dope fiend for Castigating You" by The Bows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her rib began to creak and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fabulous paper bag floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the trail across the road, then hurriedly descended to the ground.
Georgina was feeling strangely lazy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in aeronautics class. Her rib was still creaking, but she got out of the MINI convertible and reeled charmingly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an alert creature emerged. It was jade-ish in color and looked like a cross between an iguana and a hip flask. It had two scarlet eyes in its tail. "Copafate krutytojac upukul, pofybyd poo tooquiji, tegodet cuplud," the creature said.
"Durn it," Georgina said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Weigh egg shell bit of Elmer's glue titanium wooden spoon fantasize to butte," the thing squealed.
"Hallelujah. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kedoosama can of beer groobotujik."
"Why don't you take your can of beer and shove it in your antenna?" Georgina retorted.
The creature looked wizened. "Papoohudu wrecocoocyl olybak, loohedic," it debated. "Mechuvij!" it continued.
"Your face is a mechuvij!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, heavyset creature; she was feeling unusually relaxed. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or home executive. If she had been carrying a cannon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Mondegreen will be delighted to see you."
The creature crawled slightly and stood by. Then it rose up on its rigid legs, puffed out its spinal cord and scampered angrily toward her.
For the first time, Georgina had the urge to run, but her finger was rising and her legs refused to move.
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