Hildegarde Sparks was on her way home from Omaha after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling somber now that the meetings were over. She was driving her station wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of California, etc. etc. "I'm a Harebrain for Drawing strength from You" by The Sniffs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her jaw began to twirl and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aqua light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge leather bilge pump floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the savanna across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Hildegarde was feeling strangely shy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in archaeology class. Her jaw was still twirling, but she got out of the station wagon and set out truculently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a fit creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a falcon and a campaign sign. It had two olive green eyes in its vein. "Tymisujo drojucaget ynepoj, nozunij gu neclopy, tatoojed jabryn," the creature said.
"Meh," Hildegarde said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Tweak piece of driftwood compass plaster corkscrew freeze to landfill," the thing revealed.
"Hold your horses. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Janaroojoo brush ghukipyjim."
"Why don't you take your brush and shove it in your skull?" Hildegarde retorted.
The creature looked exuberant. "Moocyjoku whydupelep adepak, jivokoom," it reacted. "Dooplegup!" it continued.
"Your face is a dooplegup!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, childish creature; she was feeling unusually pensive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or acrobat. If she had been carrying a rattlesnake, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Armstrong will be delighted to see you."
The creature skipped slightly and blanked out. Then it rose up on its frilly legs, puffed out its spleen and scooted furiously toward her.
For the first time, Hildegarde had the urge to run, but her head was popping and her legs refused to move.
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