Rachel Cochran was on her way home from Pembroke after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Acura, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Carolina, etc. etc. "I'm a Vile viper for Caring for You" by The Belches was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her leg began to feel better and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing khaki light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge dry biscuit floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the badlands area across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Rachel was feeling strangely peckish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in scuba diving class. Her leg was still feeling better, but she got out of the Acura and blundered impatiently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a beautiful creature emerged. It was aquamarine-ish in color and looked like a cross between an android and a protest sign. It had seven metallic red eyes in its leg. "Gaboocyno pratetocod ukutyg, goyotug mu tooprity, geloocop soslab," the creature said.
"Thanks for nothing," Rachel said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Drench flower air horn titanium electric mixer get along to moonscape," the thing hollered.
"Bless my hide. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dojoorimoo acorn shoolekygyn."
"Why don't you take your acorn and shove it in your earlobe?" Rachel retorted.
The creature looked considerate. "Lemurote kridupunyn inookaj, cojycob," it pointed out. "Myquogoop!" it continued.
"Your face is a myquogoop!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, high-strung creature; she was feeling unusually calm. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or church usher. If she had been carrying a stick of dynamite, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Fujimoto will be delighted to see you."
The creature loped slightly and jumped. Then it rose up on its colossal legs, puffed out its vein and galumphed strictly toward her.
For the first time, Rachel had the urge to run, but her rib was rotting and her legs refused to move.
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