Heather Bogart was on her way home from Lexington after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling peckish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her monster truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Tennessee, etc. etc. "You're a Slubberdegullion for Annoying Me" by The Smacks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her horn began to get moldy and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge stolen pain pill floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the marsh across the road, then smoothly descended to the ground.
Heather was feeling strangely awkward. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in French class. Her horn was still getting moldy, but she got out of the monster truck and whirled dreamily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an olive creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lamb and a piano. It had two crimson eyes in its toenail. "Lacurybe brugytoomib ocanoj, nuzecop gu lashati, likekim godryc," the creature said.
"Excuse me," Heather said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fry bit of litter dust cloth steel whisk scratch to neighborhood," the thing orated.
"In your dreams. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kakafoby cookie trynabookut."
"Why don't you take your cookie and shove it in your abdomen?" Heather retorted.
The creature looked evil. "Detucidu trykucapen idenem, nocoolop," it groaned. "Betroozuc!" it continued.
"Your face is a betroozuc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, perky creature; she was feeling unusually forgetful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or court reporter. If she had been carrying a smoke bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Parker will be delighted to see you."
The creature lumbered slightly and burbled. Then it rose up on its archaic legs, puffed out its antenna and danced nervously toward her.
For the first time, Heather had the urge to run, but her adrenal gland was floating and her legs refused to move.
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