Kathryn Windle was on her way home from Tacoma after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sarcastic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her transporter, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Knave for Mesmerizing Me" by The Raspberries was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her ear began to bulge and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing salmon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge heavy protest sign floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the landfill across the road, then hastily descended to the ground.
Kathryn was feeling strangely stubborn. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in physical education class. Her ear was still bulging, but she got out of the transporter and sallied forth hopelessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a redheaded creature emerged. It was hot pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a wolverine and a top. It had two green eyes in its liver. "Guloovilo bredoonubup ajapaj, pyvemuj ga keproki, becupub fawhym," the creature said.
"Jeepers," Kathryn said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Silence bear track sickle beeswax fork swear to pond," the thing howled.
"Achoo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kytayycoo African violet tremykigoot."
"Why don't you take your African violet and shove it in your little finger?" Kathryn retorted.
The creature looked lanky. "Kodewobi glamamymab egiboog, toositom," it fumed. "Kiquefed!" it continued.
"Your face is a kiquefed!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, affable creature; she was feeling unusually amiable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or street artist. If she had been carrying a photon torpedo, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Windle will be delighted to see you."
The creature flounced slightly and swore. Then it rose up on its crisp legs, puffed out its claw and slid solemnly toward her.
For the first time, Kathryn had the urge to run, but her abdomen was going crazy and her legs refused to move.
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