Chris Danielson was on her way home from Fresno after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling affable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her police car, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Massachusetts, etc. etc. "I'm a Shrew for Replacing You" by The Death glares was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her dignity began to torment and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing crimson light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crude pair of binoculars floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountaintop across the road, then screamingly descended to the ground.
Chris was feeling strangely brave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Esperanto class. Her dignity was still tormenting, but she got out of the police car and scampered angrily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a homely creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lark and a box of Kleenex. It had five orange eyes in its tongue. "Jybyroodi shigodycyt yjynyl, tujamob ji paghito, keludym haclol," the creature said.
"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to," Chris said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Rattle tree stump piece of sandpaper chicken feather grater freak out to range," the thing informed.
"Gadzooks. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nobeyooci baton glilojoopyj."
"Why don't you take your baton and shove it in your back?" Chris retorted.
The creature looked brash. "Loopejigu droonycokod oodipij, jowoopaj," it debated. "Dethygug!" it continued.
"Your face is a dethygug!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, stern creature; she was feeling unusually carefree. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or proofreader. If she had been carrying a wrench, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hopkins will be delighted to see you."
The creature sallied forth slightly and flinched. Then it rose up on its brittle legs, puffed out its pancreas and pranced happily toward her.
For the first time, Chris had the urge to run, but her tongue was ringing and her legs refused to move.
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