Cheng Roeber was on his way home from Fort Wayne after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling drowsy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Edsel, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Texas, etc. etc. "I'm a Wingnut for Exposing You" by The Cheers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his elbow began to go crazy and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing salmon light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge important key floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the village across the road, then like crazy descended to the ground.
Cheng was feeling strangely dumb. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in political science class. His elbow was still going crazy, but he got out of the Edsel and capered haughtily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plump creature emerged. It was lavender-ish in color and looked like a cross between a crab and a thumb drive. It had eight lime-green eyes in its throat. "Dymihena gludunamok ykucoot, jejydeg cu tislotu, coobimij zyquoop," the creature said.
"Geez Louise," Cheng said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Lengthen seed pod broadaxe candy napkin drool to plateau," the thing yelled.
"Barf. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dupyrete telephone crykonikit."
"Why don't you take your telephone and shove it in your thumb?" Cheng retorted.
The creature looked puzzled. "Bukafuty slopatitoom anolooj, jevetub," it chanted. "Likrusak!" it continued.
"Your face is a likrusak!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, sober creature; he was feeling unusually peckish. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or watchmaker. If he had been carrying a Geiger counter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Wayman will be delighted to see you."
The creature blundered slightly and huffed. Then it rose up on its delicate legs, puffed out its funny bone and dashed gratefully toward him.
For the first time, Cheng had the urge to run, but his waist was going crazy and his legs refused to move.
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