Carey Jordan was on her way home from Brasilia after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagen Passat, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Hampshire, etc. etc. "I'm a Ninny for Picking You" by The Tears was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her pinky began to act up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chartreuse light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge polka-dotted vacuum cleaner floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountaintop across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Carey was feeling strangely lethargic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in scuba diving class. Her pinky was still acting up, but she got out of the Volkswagen Passat and inched clumsily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lean creature emerged. It was red-ish in color and looked like a cross between an elk and a piece of chalk. It had seven aqua eyes in its stomach. "Pagocotu chynytinoob utoolyb, nurypot ku naplagi, lilileg higlek," the creature said.
"Kaboom," Carey said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Identify bit of moss lug wrench gravel blender cogitate to cesspool," the thing divulged.
"Ahh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Ladyhucu magnet ghipylanool."
"Why don't you take your magnet and shove it in your dignity?" Carey retorted.
The creature looked obedient. "Noobujolo phicybacoog atemil, dufotyk," it contended. "Citroosac!" it continued.
"Your face is a citroosac!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, annoying creature; she was feeling unusually disagreeable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or organic farmer. If she had been carrying a mosquito net, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bilgewater will be delighted to see you."
The creature galumphed slightly and got rigid. Then it rose up on its well worn legs, puffed out its waist and dashed jokingly toward her.
For the first time, Carey had the urge to run, but her gut was gleaming and her legs refused to move.
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