Devin Rowling was on his way home from Stockholm after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Prius, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "You're a Moonie for Messing with Me" by The Grunts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his back began to blister and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing scarlet light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge excellent mousetrap floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the meadow across the road, then nimbly descended to the ground.
Devin was feeling strangely self-confident. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in citizenship class. His back was still blistering, but he got out of the Prius and sauntered languidly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a thin creature emerged. It was yellow-ish in color and looked like a cross between a pony and an ashtray. It had six beige eyes in its bladder. "Gunoovaje quygycylin obutuj, dahumet te nughegy, loojamoon woothil," the creature said.
"Malarkey," Devin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Nuke raspberry bush monkey wrench manure napkin freak out to buffalo wallow," the thing prattled.
"Big whoop. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jujoyupi billiard ball frookodokun."
"Why don't you take your billiard ball and shove it in your heart?" Devin retorted.
The creature looked muscular. "Jinoovacoo grybykopyt icootej, pooyamooc," it rebutted. "Koklygac!" it continued.
"Your face is a koklygac!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, yappy creature; he was feeling unusually pensive. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or dog trainer. If he had been carrying a Taser, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Snyder will be delighted to see you."
The creature stalked slightly and bawled. Then it rose up on its miniature legs, puffed out its gall bladder and darted happily toward him.
For the first time, Devin had the urge to run, but his calf was enlarging and his legs refused to move.
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