Kirsten Yamamoto was on her way home from New York after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sassy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her wheelchair, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Rhode Island, etc. etc. "You're a Halfwit for Speaking to Me" by The Sniggers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her intestine began to turn green and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sparkly light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge woven flag floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the arroyo across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
Kirsten was feeling strangely perky. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in the alphabet class. Her intestine was still turning green, but she got out of the wheelchair and dove recklessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sprightly creature emerged. It was jet black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a German Shepherd and a flyswatter. It had seven carrot-orange eyes in its hair. "Lakywooke shoobabooguj oloonoon, byziloc ma jedregy, demoogop gechek," the creature said.
"Doggone," Kirsten said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Slice flower file foam rubber spoon ruminate to backyard," the thing sighed.
"Uh-huh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Doocurepy pearl clijootudik."
"Why don't you take your pearl and shove it in your scalp?" Kirsten retorted.
The creature looked unselfish. "Topazeda prookepedook atuceg, necicun," it pleaded. "Nywhohip!" it continued.
"Your face is a nywhohip!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, vacuous creature; she was feeling unusually self-assured. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or dog walker. If she had been carrying a photon torpedo, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ling will be delighted to see you."
The creature crept slightly and waited. Then it rose up on its sophisticated legs, puffed out its heart and zoomed wearily toward her.
For the first time, Kirsten had the urge to run, but her ego was vibrating and her legs refused to move.
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