Eddie Dalton was on his way home from Portland after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling tense now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Dodge Viper, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Carolina, etc. etc. "You're a Weirdo for Believing Me" by The Backward glances was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his funny bone began to throb and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hand-made pom-pom floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the circus tent across the road, then screamingly descended to the ground.
Eddie was feeling strangely nervous. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in deportment class. His funny bone was still throbbing, but he got out of the Dodge Viper and hopped violently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a frumpy creature emerged. It was tan-ish in color and looked like a cross between a buzzard and a diamond. It had seven aqua eyes in its heel. "Moocogotu slamamykag omykook, luyomim tu gyklece, gogupyt coocrop," the creature said.
"Hurray," Eddie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Remove spider web pair of tweezers bronze strainer stretch to cave," the thing harangued.
"Good golly. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mooloyoky trash can drukelepoog."
"Why don't you take your trash can and shove it in your femur?" Eddie retorted.
The creature looked brave. "Takoroomi drabekagok umokooc, tyragyb," it yelled. "Gawhezom!" it continued.
"Your face is a gawhezom!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, bellicose creature; he was feeling unusually generous. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or rabble rouser. If he had been carrying a bayonette, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Mantzios will be delighted to see you."
The creature trekked slightly and inhaled. Then it rose up on its wet legs, puffed out its neck and waddled fervently toward him.
For the first time, Eddie had the urge to run, but his toenail was drooping and his legs refused to move.
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