Aiden Pearson was on his way home from Puebla after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Chevy Bolt, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Jersey, etc. etc. "You're a Simpleton for Pleasing Me" by The Wags of the finger was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his hangnail began to get scaly and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing magenta light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge polka-dotted playing card floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the housing development across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
Aiden was feeling strangely selfish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in accounting class. His hangnail was still getting scaly, but he got out of the Chevy Bolt and strolled unexpectedly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a brown-eyed creature emerged. It was striped-ish in color and looked like a cross between a spider and a cookbook. It had three olive green eyes in its spinal cord. "Dulohegy whelodococ ootyjob, mojogyg boo nuproca, nupinog cutryc," the creature said.
"If only," Aiden said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unfasten fish tape measure balsa oven mitt yell to lagoon," the thing murmured.
"Get out. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kikyraku lollipop flepoomelup."
"Why don't you take your lollipop and shove it in your liver?" Aiden retorted.
The creature looked corpulent. "Jookusata dremucobeg epeboc, toocegug," it sniveled. "Gishucob!" it continued.
"Your face is a gishucob!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, tense creature; he was feeling unusually fearful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or barista. If he had been carrying a musket, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Lopez will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and doodled. Then it rose up on its ordinary legs, puffed out its vein and scampered ruefully toward him.
For the first time, Aiden had the urge to run, but his bladder was turning black and his legs refused to move.
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