Leonie Eriksson was on her way home from Krakow after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling decisive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Taurus, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Michigan, etc. etc. "You're a Dip for Spanking Me" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her beard began to flake off and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing white light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge luxurious stack of papers floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hayfield across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Leonie was feeling strangely nervous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in music class. Her beard was still flaking off, but she got out of the Ford Taurus and marched dolorously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a good looking creature emerged. It was golden-ish in color and looked like a cross between an alligator and a peacemaker. It had five forest green eyes in its knuckle. "Jogijeloo krojyjijyk itudem, cofagad ni bychoopu, logykyn zyslin," the creature said.
"Phew," Leonie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Archive poison ivy plant plunger asbestos candy thermometer gasp to forest," the thing giggled.
"Very funny. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nujafedoo antenna wrajujutig."
"Why don't you take your antenna and shove it in your little toe?" Leonie retorted.
The creature looked noxious. "Tegujoodo tromojocag ipipec, moovykyg," it sighed. "Cedroyel!" it continued.
"Your face is a cedroyel!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, spindly creature; she was feeling unusually awkward. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or builder. If she had been carrying a Colt 45, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gonzalez will be delighted to see you."
The creature strode slightly and knelt. Then it rose up on its narrow legs, puffed out its hoof and padded reluctantly toward her.
For the first time, Leonie had the urge to run, but her piehole was aching and her legs refused to move.
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