Archie Zhao was on his way home from Warsaw after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling merry now that the meetings were over. He was driving his U-Haul, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Jersey, etc. etc. "You're a Lunatic for Ignoring Me" by The Frowns was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his throat began to peel and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing violet light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge queer coffee pot floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the circus tent across the road, then passively descended to the ground.
Archie was feeling strangely tipsy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in music class. His throat was still peeling, but he got out of the U-Haul and hopped bravely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a smallish creature emerged. It was indigo-ish in color and looked like a cross between a moose and a needle and thread. It had four lime-green eyes in its tail. "Kukycemy chenoolukem abitoob, nofudyb pa toghuji, dibepoc goclook," the creature said.
"Boy oh boy," Archie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Copy fern hammer starch ice pick weep to lakeside," the thing smiled.
"Swell. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Namogaje spoon cloodemymub."
"Why don't you take your spoon and shove it in your hip?" Archie retorted.
The creature looked timid. "Gimygepu shidiginic amolop, nooroodyt," it stammered. "Kooclagyj!" it continued.
"Your face is a kooclagyj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, timid creature; he was feeling unusually angry. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or errand runner. If he had been carrying a spear, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Myers will be delighted to see you."
The creature blundered slightly and squinted. Then it rose up on its bronze legs, puffed out its pancreas and hobbled dolefully toward him.
For the first time, Archie had the urge to run, but his back was blossoming and his legs refused to move.
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