Nathaniel Rossi was on his way home from Sidney after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling timid now that the meetings were over. He was driving his backhoe, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maryland, etc. etc. "I'm a Traitor for Frowning at You" by The Blushes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his Achilles tendon began to wander and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing grey light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge grubby pair of binoculars floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the badlands area across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Nathaniel was feeling strangely crafty. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in dance class. His Achilles tendon was still wandering, but he got out of the backhoe and traipsed accidentally toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a scruffy creature emerged. It was violet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a whale and a pink flamingo. It had four ivory eyes in its nose. "Typisupy phitumipyj ijanib, dewoomol tu bybrany, mucebep suquul," the creature said.
"Bless you," Nathaniel said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Dispose of fallen tree plane paper bare foot pucker to island," the thing pleaded.
"Blimey. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Koodeceboo bugle chootomugin."
"Why don't you take your bugle and shove it in your horn?" Nathaniel retorted.
The creature looked lethargic. "Tyloorega clootujabyc ygigood, jahadib," it judged. "Mywrehyt!" it continued.
"Your face is a mywrehyt!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, comely creature; he was feeling unusually brave. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or executioner. If he had been carrying a snowball, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Griggs will be delighted to see you."
The creature scooted slightly and nodded. Then it rose up on its immense legs, puffed out its scalp and ambled tenderly toward him.
For the first time, Nathaniel had the urge to run, but his hairdo was scaling off and his legs refused to move.
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