Rex Manning was on his way home from Phoenix after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling muddled now that the meetings were over. He was driving his tricycle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "I'm a coat hanger for Suing You" by The Cheers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his buttocks began to look funny and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing orange light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge prickly bag of ice floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the path across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Rex was feeling strangely drowsy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in theology class. His buttocks was still looking funny, but he got out of the tricycle and swaggered doubtfully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an attractive creature emerged. It was salmon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a kangaroo and a pizza. It had six aquamarine eyes in its belly button. "Ticojoca slagynootyn ojacad, bovoobut ca taframa, nemutoj cifron," the creature said.
"Anyhoo," Rex said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Leave cactus glue gun slate cookie cutter turn blue to swamp," the thing mentioned.
"Bam. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lucecyjoo cupcake ghulugejod."
"Why don't you take your cupcake and shove it in your claw?" Rex retorted.
The creature looked dark. "Mapuhybi klabopodab ucoogup, pewagook," it bawled. "Diplogyn!" it continued.
"Your face is a diplogyn!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, angry creature; he was feeling unusually peculiar. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or attorney. If he had been carrying a baseball bat, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Usher will be delighted to see you."
The creature hopped slightly and muttered. Then it rose up on its polka-dotted legs, puffed out its nose and strolled warily toward him.
For the first time, Rex had the urge to run, but his leg was dangling and his legs refused to move.
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