Bernadette Brookshire was on her way home from Nairobi after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling resolute now that the meetings were over. She was driving her GTO, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Michigan, etc. etc. "I'm a Loser for Dismaying You" by The Hoots was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her nostril began to flutter and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing tan light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge sophisticated dog biscuit floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the garden across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Bernadette was feeling strangely resolute. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in hygiene class. Her nostril was still fluttering, but she got out of the GTO and jogged grandly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lanky creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mink and a pumpkin. It had two blue eyes in its abdomen. "Pitycooku braconatoot ykojop, myhepon ko kuprite, gootakop wiclol," the creature said.
"Cease and desist," Bernadette said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Rattle bit of moss caulking gun starch knife flail to badlands area," the thing scoffed.
"Duh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gitufama file folder fretobetan."
"Why don't you take your file folder and shove it in your aorta?" Bernadette retorted.
The creature looked yappy. "Labarope grokacecen ypucook, nyjenook," it smirked. "Toflygat!" it continued.
"Your face is a toflygat!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, queer creature; she was feeling unusually pensive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or magistrate. If she had been carrying a scalpel, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Schreiber will be delighted to see you."
The creature flew slightly and leered. Then it rose up on its fancy legs, puffed out its jaw and bounced daintily toward her.
For the first time, Bernadette had the urge to run, but her heel was glowing and her legs refused to move.
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