Teresa Porterfield was on her way home from Little Rock after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling petulant now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Lincoln Town Car, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "You're a Pansy for Getting to know Me" by The Shrugs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her pinky began to tingle and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing emerald green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge sophisticated bird cage floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the bog across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Teresa was feeling strangely somber. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in mythology class. Her pinky was still tingling, but she got out of the Lincoln Town Car and leapt fiercely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an obese creature emerged. It was crimson-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gorilla and a screwdriver. It had six magenta eyes in its nose. "Matysime thunapacyc epylan, cyhakik mo diglapa, dynylyg vashot," the creature said.
"Like fun," Teresa said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Honor wolf track axe gold brick foot knit to ridge," the thing hummed.
"Well I'll be. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pocoovooke cookie chabogybog."
"Why don't you take your cookie and shove it in your neck?" Teresa retorted.
The creature looked grizzled. "Nipufamy flegygobyg oogootooj, goorukod," it demanded. "Liplusec!" it continued.
"Your face is a liplusec!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, spunky creature; she was feeling unusually lazy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or pharmacist. If she had been carrying an AK-47, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Corialis will be delighted to see you."
The creature blundered slightly and gesticulated. Then it rose up on its frilly legs, puffed out its midriff and cantered recklessly toward her.
For the first time, Teresa had the urge to run, but her tail was bulging and her legs refused to move.
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