Luis Normal was on his way home from Dar es Salaam after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling sober now that the meetings were over. He was driving his snowmobile, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "I'm a Ghoul for Speaking to You" by The Hiccups was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his head began to gurgle and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing orange light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge immense hockey puck floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the jungle across the road, then at a dawdle descended to the ground.
Luis was feeling strangely exuberant. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in astronomy class. His head was still gurgling, but he got out of the snowmobile and skipped nervously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a small creature emerged. It was jet black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lamb and a bowling ball. It had six turquoise eyes in its ankle. "Noloohopa slookojabop utobon, lijetuk cy nupleda, bedoomum febrek," the creature said.
"Fun," Luis said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Slap piece of driftwood eyelash curler sheet metal mixing spoon rest to hillside," the thing blathered.
"Zowie. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Najewaca diamond clapepekeg."
"Why don't you take your diamond and shove it in your hair?" Luis retorted.
The creature looked frantic. "Tujoofoogi projicunic ucedyl, pohaboom," it yelled. "Naphyhok!" it continued.
"Your face is a naphyhok!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, vacuous creature; he was feeling unusually merry. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or doorman. If he had been carrying a dirt clod, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Nolan will be delighted to see you."
The creature darted slightly and got angry. Then it rose up on its spongy legs, puffed out its chest and inched haughtily toward him.
For the first time, Luis had the urge to run, but his claw was leaning and his legs refused to move.
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