Jerry Thor was on his way home from Timbuktu after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling stubborn now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Focus, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Massachusetts, etc. etc. "I'm a Brazen hussy for Suspending You" by The Cringes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his hoof began to shimmer and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing yellow light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge sophisticated Frisbee floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the rainforest across the road, then nimbly descended to the ground.
Jerry was feeling strangely generous. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in scuba diving class. His hoof was still shimmering, but he got out of the Ford Focus and rushed hysterically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lanky creature emerged. It was white-ish in color and looked like a cross between a puppy and a biscuit. It had seven aqua eyes in its knee. "Jituyypoo tritydoojak oocykyt, jivepyp nu liplyje, datycel hyphal," the creature said.
"Gadzooks," Jerry said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Inspect badger hole fingernail clipper brass spatula pant to creek," the thing wondered.
"Judas Priest. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nynoozyni coin ghamatoocuc."
"Why don't you take your coin and shove it in your thigh?" Jerry retorted.
The creature looked bad. "Moobigilu quapudepap ujapic, cayunic," it piped up. "Lyshoored!" it continued.
"Your face is a lyshoored!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, yappy creature; he was feeling unusually frantic. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or psychic. If he had been carrying a Geiger counter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Eppley will be delighted to see you."
The creature went slightly and freaked out. Then it rose up on its plastic legs, puffed out its ego and lumbered sympathetically toward him.
For the first time, Jerry had the urge to run, but his toenail was putrifying and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter