Steve Downey was on his way home from Berlin after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling sarcastic now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Dodge Neon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Culprit for Tricking Me" by The Backward glances was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his spine began to get scaly and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge new cigarette lighter floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pasture across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Steve was feeling strangely daring. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in arithmetic class. His spine was still getting scaly, but he got out of the Dodge Neon and sneaked demurely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a small creature emerged. It was tan-ish in color and looked like a cross between a reindeer and a mirror. It had eight grey eyes in its claw. "Tejujoogi flekegymig ecopym, cagoolig noo pythiga, totyjic suquoom," the creature said.
"Fiddlesticks," Steve said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Strengthen spider web circular saw marble spoon stand by to countryside," the thing indicated.
"Quiet. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gybesite peanut klyninabub."
"Why don't you take your peanut and shove it in your nose?" Steve retorted.
The creature looked passionate. "Tokavokoo clolecookop ecoocom, nerigoj," it bawled. "Jothycin!" it continued.
"Your face is a jothycin!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, bald creature; he was feeling unusually decisive. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or monk. If he had been carrying a six-shooter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Downer will be delighted to see you."
The creature slid slightly and blanked out. Then it rose up on its smelly legs, puffed out its thigh and reeled dubiously toward him.
For the first time, Steve had the urge to run, but his spine was jiggling and his legs refused to move.
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