Lilya Van Dorn was on her way home from Portland after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling maniacal now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Subaru, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New York, etc. etc. "You're a Snowflake for Playing with Me" by The Twitches was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her shoulder began to get emotional and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing turquoise light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge sophisticated iPhone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the badlands area across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Lilya was feeling strangely humble. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in environmental science class. Her shoulder was still getting emotional, but she got out of the Subaru and galumphed gratefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a smallish creature emerged. It was green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a flamingo and a key. It had six terra cotta eyes in its front tooth. "Kydirapu kroocydocuj eleloc, disilal bo guglece, pygubek caclej," the creature said.
"Gee," Lilya said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pick tree stump garden hoe sandstone blender cry to butte," the thing blubbered.
"Easy peasy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Badyjedu pair of headphones slajunopog."
"Why don't you take your pair of headphones and shove it in your scalp?" Lilya retorted.
The creature looked exuberant. "Dolojutu ghidokojik ujagic, mozedot," it interpreted. "Gatrijup!" it continued.
"Your face is a gatrijup!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, proud creature; she was feeling unusually cheerful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or tutor. If she had been carrying a bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Schaffer will be delighted to see you."
The creature cantered slightly and flinched. Then it rose up on its golden legs, puffed out its shin and jogged rapidly toward her.
For the first time, Lilya had the urge to run, but her dignity was oozing and her legs refused to move.
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