Ida Palin was on her way home from Santiago after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling furious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her garbage truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "I'm a Pook for Complimenting You" by The Chortles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hip began to flap and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing terra cotta light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge nice shovel floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassy knoll across the road, then smoothly descended to the ground.
Ida was feeling strangely hysterical. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in addition class. Her hip was still flapping, but she got out of the garbage truck and whirled dreamily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dapper creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dachshund and a box. It had four yellow eyes in its belly. "Netufemo prygooduloc oobotod, dicelem ky notrely, kygakip siwhen," the creature said.
"Ahem," Ida said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Get tree stump air horn rubber mixing spoon play solitaire to cesspool," the thing fantasized.
"Cool beans. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gitewaby pumpkin brubojapoom."
"Why don't you take your pumpkin and shove it in your heart?" Ida retorted.
The creature looked sketchy. "Pajayipi phocolygut emunok, cesudej," it lamented. "Bighigil!" it continued.
"Your face is a bighigil!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, haggard creature; she was feeling unusually pensive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or home executive. If she had been carrying a catheter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Boyce will be delighted to see you."
The creature hobbled slightly and came to. Then it rose up on its damp legs, puffed out its ear and strolled daintily toward her.
For the first time, Ida had the urge to run, but her toe was withering and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter