Horsie Garland was on his way home from Lisbon after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cantankerous now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Dodge Neon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arizona, etc. etc. "You're a Blatherskite for Yelling at Me" by The Chortles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his neck began to throb and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing indigo light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge abnormal hammer floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the housing development across the road, then smoothly descended to the ground.
Horsie was feeling strangely stubborn. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Greek class. His neck was still throbbing, but he got out of the Dodge Neon and sped warily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slick creature emerged. It was hot pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ass and a rag. It had three lime-green eyes in its toe. "Doobahyna chipicujyb akadot, lygoopul ny miklino, nubomud yooslab," the creature said.
"Stinkers," Horsie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Squash piece of bark pair of tweezers gingerbread cheesecloth leer to bog," the thing peeped.
"Oh dear. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cepehidy hacksaw frijopityj."
"Why don't you take your hacksaw and shove it in your intestine?" Horsie retorted.
The creature looked brave. "Tokavoci frodukaloon ybukoop, puyibuk," it imitated. "Nadravub!" it continued.
"Your face is a nadravub!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, friendly creature; he was feeling unusually perky. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or convenience store clerk. If he had been carrying a pair of brass knuckles, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tsutsui will be delighted to see you."
The creature went slightly and leered. Then it rose up on its funny legs, puffed out its scalp and whirled cheerfully toward him.
For the first time, Horsie had the urge to run, but his wrist was loosening up and his legs refused to move.
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