Alton Bobble was on his way home from Sunnyvale after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling muddled now that the meetings were over. He was driving his hearse, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "You're a Wraith for Pleasing Me" by The Hiccups was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his thigh began to undulate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge polka-dotted needle and thread floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seashore across the road, then smoothly descended to the ground.
Alton was feeling strangely angry. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in oceanography class. His thigh was still undulating, but he got out of the hearse and crawled nimbly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pretty creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bird and a magnet. It had three tan eyes in its hair. "Pepiyudi whoocibookud ookojej, pizomub li nikrootu, dookalooc vooploon," the creature said.
"Ahh," Alton said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Protect feather corkscrew paper clip chopstick fulminate to mountaintop," the thing growled.
"I don't think so. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tadifooku calculator whobymoocab."
"Why don't you take your calculator and shove it in your belly?" Alton retorted.
The creature looked emotional. "Bigogadoo wrupilimood ilidab, tofodyd," it thought. "Tokrufig!" it continued.
"Your face is a tokrufig!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, queer creature; he was feeling unusually humble. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or mediator. If he had been carrying a flashlight, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ferguson will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounced slightly and cogitated. Then it rose up on its flexible legs, puffed out its hairdo and struggled doubtfully toward him.
For the first time, Alton had the urge to run, but his brain was feeling weird and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter