Fiona MacGibbon was on her way home from Auckland after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling pensive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her garbage truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "I'm a Curmudgeon for Biting You" by The Snarls was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her bicep began to fester and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aqua light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge expensive toilet plunger floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the circus tent across the road, then like crazy descended to the ground.
Fiona was feeling strangely brave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in sociology class. Her bicep was still festering, but she got out of the garbage truck and tore clumsily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a brown-eyed creature emerged. It was fuchsia-ish in color and looked like a cross between a musk-ox and an iPad. It had eight polka dotted eyes in its hand. "Bakugyba floninynom ybypip, teyylil coo geflemo, tijidut giwhoon," the creature said.
"Aarrggh," Fiona said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pick fish dust cloth gold brick foot glare to mesa," the thing divulged.
"Thpft. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Todyhulo piece of chalk grabekejek."
"Why don't you take your piece of chalk and shove it in your wrist?" Fiona retorted.
The creature looked petulant. "Nikoocemo climoocidyl ejoonin, kysokug," it sniffed. "Datrizob!" it continued.
"Your face is a datrizob!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, maniacal creature; she was feeling unusually pensive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or window washer. If she had been carrying a squirt gun, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Nye will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounded slightly and adjusted the clock. Then it rose up on its peculiar legs, puffed out its eyeball and ambled jokingly toward her.
For the first time, Fiona had the urge to run, but her tooth was jumping and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter