Romeo Hayashida was on his way home from Detroit after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling woozy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his handcart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "I'm a Dummy for Escaping from You" by The Simpers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his eyeball began to break off and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing burgundy light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge weird crystal ball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the badlands area across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Romeo was feeling strangely cruel. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in molecular biology class. His eyeball was still breaking off, but he got out of the handcart and breezed tenderly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a suave creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rhinoceros and a hacksaw. It had seven navy blue eyes in its eyebrow. "Mylivapu clidygelap ibytel, buzoobig ny goosline, bejubuk guwhip," the creature said.
"Bam," Romeo said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Decontaminate sea shell air horn wattle and daub spatula cheer up to valley," the thing spewed.
"Very well done. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dajyjoota coupon thekijonin."
"Why don't you take your coupon and shove it in your hairdo?" Romeo retorted.
The creature looked presumptuous. "Kudugata clidyjodil obujym, loojygaj," it murmured. "Tafrufooj!" it continued.
"Your face is a tafrufooj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, cautious creature; he was feeling unusually puzzled. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or blacksmith. If he had been carrying a blackjack, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Austin will be delighted to see you."
The creature cantered slightly and giggled. Then it rose up on its overgrown legs, puffed out its carotid artery and breezed wildly toward him.
For the first time, Romeo had the urge to run, but his eyelid was quivering and his legs refused to move.
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