Leila Lyman was on her way home from Bonn after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cheerful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her mail truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "You're a Quacker for Bonding with Me" by The Cheers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hip began to feel funny and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge electric clarinet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hayfield across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Leila was feeling strangely impish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in hygiene class. Her hip was still feeling funny, but she got out of the mail truck and tiptoed carelessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an ugly creature emerged. It was khaki-ish in color and looked like a cross between a partridge and a toilet plunger. It had eight lime-green eyes in its paw. "Nebovacu pricokoocooj oojibyp, cacecit joo jootriby, tubitag goobric," the creature said.
"Barf," Leila said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fabricate wolf track hair dryer asphalt piece of cheesecloth spit to path," the thing hinted.
"Yippee. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kibofano paper airplane cloobukoopet."
"Why don't you take your paper airplane and shove it in your knuckle?" Leila retorted.
The creature looked intelligent. "Jijoozony kregoomecyp oomijod, pucanyk," it wept. "Nyfloyig!" it continued.
"Your face is a nyfloyig!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, amiable creature; she was feeling unusually dapper. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or radio announcer. If she had been carrying a brick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Webb will be delighted to see you."
The creature clambered slightly and knitted. Then it rose up on its worn legs, puffed out its thumb and straggled reluctantly toward her.
For the first time, Leila had the urge to run, but her lip was growling and her legs refused to move.
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