Juanita Reyes was on her way home from Cincinnati after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling thoughtful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her hoverboard, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New York, etc. etc. "I'm a Numskull for Leaving You" by The Shivers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her skull began to warp and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge musty cupcake floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the valley across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Juanita was feeling strangely fearless. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in oceanography class. Her skull was still warping, but she got out of the hoverboard and went strangely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gaunt creature emerged. It was metallic red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a worm and a saw. It had four crimson eyes in its rib. "Lymyzoopa pragolypet ylocij, tyfapin ju cygromo, pogibut caflyj," the creature said.
"Dag nabbit," Juanita said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hoist egg shell meat grinder grass meat tenderizer blow up to beach," the thing rumored.
"Yep. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lootezety stapler cracabynet."
"Why don't you take your stapler and shove it in your pinky?" Juanita retorted.
The creature looked carefree. "Gypeweba ghoonijudat ycimem, boroomaj," it bellowed. "Jislyzol!" it continued.
"Your face is a jislyzol!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, brazen creature; she was feeling unusually stubborn. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or winemaker. If she had been carrying a six-shooter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Glover will be delighted to see you."
The creature breezed slightly and expectorated. Then it rose up on its flaky legs, puffed out its leg and tumbled glumly toward her.
For the first time, Juanita had the urge to run, but her hip was petrifying and her legs refused to move.
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