Bettie Lou Fritz was on her way home from Timbuktu after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cautious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Nissan Versa, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Vermont, etc. etc. "I'm a Snitch for Betraying You" by The Blushes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her stomach began to close down and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing magenta light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge cotton coffee pot floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the beach across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Bettie Lou was feeling strangely exuberant. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in theology class. Her stomach was still closing down, but she got out of the Nissan Versa and sailed wildly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a massive creature emerged. It was pea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between an owl and a model airplane. It had six orange eyes in its throat. "Nakofipo shydootoogum atipam, degalun moo gachypy, mukeboj jiwrij," the creature said.
"My my," Bettie Lou said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Stash spring punch linoleum cheesecloth exercise to park," the thing yowled.
"If only. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bonoogoona dead hawk brylegipook."
"Why don't you take your dead hawk and shove it in your eyelash?" Bettie Lou retorted.
The creature looked forgetful. "Poogoceba klytoolobat ubumob, kusubok," it belched. "Gyklozek!" it continued.
"Your face is a gyklozek!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, self-assured creature; she was feeling unusually cruel. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or phlebotomist. If she had been carrying a disarming smile, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Vintner will be delighted to see you."
The creature trekked slightly and played solitaire. Then it rose up on its musty legs, puffed out its earlobe and ran nonchalantly toward her.
For the first time, Bettie Lou had the urge to run, but her tooth was turning red and her legs refused to move.
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