Roberta Skye was on her way home from Ontario after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Gremlin, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "You're a Lackwit for Trusting Me" by The Woofs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her nostril began to wiggle and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge broken cowbell floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the village across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Roberta was feeling strangely decisive. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in horticulture class. Her nostril was still wiggling, but she got out of the Gremlin and went needlessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an elderly creature emerged. It was turquoise-ish in color and looked like a cross between a wombat and a playing card. It had eight striped eyes in its pituitary gland. "Cekewycy grogocokup ubodic, gagipim goo pephomi, gegoomek wooklil," the creature said.
"Gads," Roberta said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Cover egg shell straightedge sea shell knife hum to mountaintop," the thing prattled.
"Barf. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nebisejy stick of gum wribumatoc."
"Why don't you take your stick of gum and shove it in your wig?" Roberta retorted.
The creature looked attractive. "Naliwiny quininucyj ygootooc, tywoolool," it harangued. "Kequuvij!" it continued.
"Your face is a kequuvij!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, forgetful creature; she was feeling unusually fiendish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or gastroenterologist. If she had been carrying a pair of brass knuckles, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McDonald will be delighted to see you."
The creature marched slightly and belched. Then it rose up on its peculiar legs, puffed out its scalp and loped wryly toward her.
For the first time, Roberta had the urge to run, but her elbow was turning grey and her legs refused to move.
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