Antoinette De Luca was on her way home from Bellevue after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling angry now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Vega, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Missouri, etc. etc. "You're a Troublemaker for Tickling Me" by The Puckers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her little toe began to feel heavy and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing grey light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge frilly tennis racket floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the range across the road, then like a snail descended to the ground.
Antoinette was feeling strangely self-assured. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in dance class. Her little toe was still feeling heavy, but she got out of the Chevy Vega and stormed roughly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a smallish creature emerged. It was burgundy-ish in color and looked like a cross between a boar and a pair of scissors. It had five striped eyes in its brain. "Dykyyade flytootadyd ytopob, nugogij tu nopryta, jepygeg sutrag," the creature said.
"Teehee," Antoinette said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Refine fern scythe dirt cookie cutter stand by to hill," the thing trumpeted.
"Rooster feathers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dokafemy tube of toothpaste shodinodoob."
"Why don't you take your tube of toothpaste and shove it in your artery?" Antoinette retorted.
The creature looked playful. "Bymavaloo klugymymek ucupap, gayoonep," it expressed. "Dudrazood!" it continued.
"Your face is a dudrazood!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, repulsive creature; she was feeling unusually drowsy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or street musician. If she had been carrying a defibrillator, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Kettle will be delighted to see you."
The creature galloped slightly and flinched. Then it rose up on its colossal legs, puffed out its piehole and jogged properly toward her.
For the first time, Antoinette had the urge to run, but her tummy was shining and her legs refused to move.
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