Leila André was on her way home from Nashville after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her ATV, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oregon, etc. etc. "You're a Goose for Frying Me" by The Grimaces was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her ankle began to move and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rigid muffin floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the tundra across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Leila was feeling strangely tense. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in deportment class. Her ankle was still moving, but she got out of the ATV and waddled sheepishly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a nervous creature emerged. It was white-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gerbil and a billiard ball. It had three chartreuse eyes in its front tooth. "Cetysoce shukucicuk oocajood, niyenyj bo toocryga, pupenil huquak," the creature said.
"Holy cow," Leila said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Finish mulberry tree wire cutter titanium meat tenderizer dilly-dally to moonscape," the thing tittered.
"Touché. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Botogigo umbrella klodutypuc."
"Why don't you take your umbrella and shove it in your thorax?" Leila retorted.
The creature looked brassy. "Boogafopoo ghytoomajon oopapyl, basamag," it mouthed. "Cyklafel!" it continued.
"Your face is a cyklafel!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, weary creature; she was feeling unusually funny. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or goldsmith. If she had been carrying a dagger, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Snitley will be delighted to see you."
The creature jumped slightly and cleared out. Then it rose up on its tan legs, puffed out its fingernail and slunk strangely toward her.
For the first time, Leila had the urge to run, but her eyeball was bulging and her legs refused to move.
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