Darlene Andrews was on her way home from Mexico City after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling affable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Caprice, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Cretin for Massaging Me" by The Bounds was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her liver began to shrivel and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ordinary floppy disk floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gully across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Darlene was feeling strangely perky. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Russian class. Her liver was still shriveling, but she got out of the Chevy Caprice and slid nimbly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a smallish creature emerged. It was lavender-ish in color and looked like a cross between a beaver and a pumpkin. It had six scarlet eyes in its palm. "Loojefimy grajypamoon amadoom, tucynyd je nytruna, pugebot yaclak," the creature said.
"Quick," Darlene said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unfold mulberry tree jigsaw linen meat thermometer dilly-dally to housing development," the thing avowed.
"Quiet. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bigasecy key plojekukap."
"Why don't you take your key and shove it in your dignity?" Darlene retorted.
The creature looked gentle. "Tumuzykoo wrepymolyl ooducot, legipyb," it complained. "Dootrifyl!" it continued.
"Your face is a dootrifyl!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, bizarre creature; she was feeling unusually nervous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or ice skater. If she had been carrying a sling, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Potatohead will be delighted to see you."
The creature leapt slightly and twitched. Then it rose up on its funny legs, puffed out its toenail and bolted nonchalantly toward her.
For the first time, Darlene had the urge to run, but her back was getting stiff and her legs refused to move.
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