Dusty Van Dorn was on his way home from Manhattan after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling humble now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Nissan Sentra, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "You're a Hog for Blocking Me" by The Sniffles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his hair began to aggravate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aqua light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hand-made hand puppet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the country meadow across the road, then expeditiously descended to the ground.
Dusty was feeling strangely humble. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in the alphabet class. His hair was still aggravating, but he got out of the Nissan Sentra and waded oddly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a filthy creature emerged. It was crimson-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hyena and an African violet. It had eight navy blue eyes in its shin. "Moomyyubu brenynimic ijigom, mujigub ji cofroogo, tokikup fakruc," the creature said.
"Cowabunga," Dusty said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Toss piece of bark laser beam granite pair of tongs cringe to housing development," the thing exploded.
"Oops. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lobiyyjy can of shaving cream choocytykoj."
"Why don't you take your can of shaving cream and shove it in your scalp?" Dusty retorted.
The creature looked depraved. "Kecowiloo whyjokucuk aludooj, mycytud," it announced. "Joowrufak!" it continued.
"Your face is a joowrufak!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, yappy creature; he was feeling unusually tipsy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or cop. If he had been carrying an épée, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Esposito will be delighted to see you."
The creature scurried slightly and snickered. Then it rose up on its crude legs, puffed out its aorta and sallied forth nicely toward him.
For the first time, Dusty had the urge to run, but his calf was hanging down and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter