Paula Quintero was on her way home from Hong Kong after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling impish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ferrari, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "You're a Freak for Relying on Me" by The Dope slaps was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her bladder began to melt and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing camouflage light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge tiny fishing rod floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the path across the road, then like mad descended to the ground.
Paula was feeling strangely nervous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in cartography class. Her bladder was still melting, but she got out of the Ferrari and lumbered victoriously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a brown-eyed creature emerged. It was sparkly-ish in color and looked like a cross between a duck-billed platypus and a comic book. It had five periwinkle eyes in its nose. "Bucoozuti phoogoogakyk okojom, tyjuton di coflype, nookymoj sathug," the creature said.
"Tut-tut," Paula said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Clean raspberry bush screwdriver rubble piece of cheesecloth hang around to battlefield," the thing ranted.
"Gosh almighty. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dapycagu clipboard glodudebaj."
"Why don't you take your clipboard and shove it in your heart?" Paula retorted.
The creature looked generous. "Kycayidi shibinoobyl inebun, mayydok," it agreed. "Dequihob!" it continued.
"Your face is a dequihob!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, impish creature; she was feeling unusually lethargic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or plumber. If she had been carrying a ghetto blaster, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Walla will be delighted to see you."
The creature sidled slightly and backed up. Then it rose up on its stuffed legs, puffed out its thorax and straggled calmly toward her.
For the first time, Paula had the urge to run, but her beard was swinging and her legs refused to move.
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