Liz Wibbles was on her way home from Santiago after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling hysterical now that the meetings were over. She was driving her donkey cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New York, etc. etc. "You're a Nincompoop for Kicking Me" by The Shivers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her back began to crack and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge curved pack of gum floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mesa across the road, then heavily descended to the ground.
Liz was feeling strangely brave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in mechanical engineering class. Her back was still cracking, but she got out of the donkey cart and marched hopelessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an adorable creature emerged. It was olive drab-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ostrich and a yo-yo. It had three maroon eyes in its stomach. "Kodawiboo whadylucom ononud, novoocyb gu lakrake, looninyj hyghic," the creature said.
"Cool beans," Liz said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Admire piece of bark rasp stardust blender itch to valley," the thing demanded.
"Land's sakes. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Ducizoopa hair brush frugypanook."
"Why don't you take your hair brush and shove it in your heart?" Liz retorted.
The creature looked apoplectic. "Gootysele quetookimil ylyjyk, doozomoob," it vowed. "Cowroogoj!" it continued.
"Your face is a cowroogoj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, stubborn creature; she was feeling unusually drowsy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or ice skater. If she had been carrying a Colt 45, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Montgomery will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and giggled. Then it rose up on its luxurious legs, puffed out its pituitary gland and staggered uselessly toward her.
For the first time, Liz had the urge to run, but her finger was gurgling and her legs refused to move.
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