Henrietta Pearson was on her way home from Mobile after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lazy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Impala, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "You're an Egomaniac for Suing Me" by The Puckers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hairdo began to burn and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing forest green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge white handkerchief floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gully across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Henrietta was feeling strangely tipsy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in citizenship class. Her hairdo was still burning, but she got out of the Chevy Impala and tumbled delicately toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an ugly creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a grizzly bear and a Van Gogh. It had five jade eyes in its kidney. "Cygofoda ghubotyjed upibyj, myvycik ji caprumo, jamucik vooflak," the creature said.
"Duh," Henrietta said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Beat weed punch copper potato peeler twitch to desert," the thing explained.
"Okay. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Baduyoco spool of thread klupibotod."
"Why don't you take your spool of thread and shove it in your waist?" Henrietta retorted.
The creature looked demented. "Lucawidi drudatonec oodeted, dagokyc," it avowed. "Muproowym!" it continued.
"Your face is a muproowym!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, cruel creature; she was feeling unusually cheerful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or park ranger. If she had been carrying a parlor trick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Wolf will be delighted to see you."
The creature stalked slightly and slobbered. Then it rose up on its amazing legs, puffed out its tummy and sallied forth openly toward her.
For the first time, Henrietta had the urge to run, but her hair was twinkling and her legs refused to move.
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