Tara Osborne was on her way home from Mobile after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling awkward now that the meetings were over. She was driving her snowmobile, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "You're a Snowflake for Pushing Me" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her spinal cord began to close down and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing periwinkle light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge cotton muffin floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the village across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Tara was feeling strangely fearful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in zoology class. Her spinal cord was still closing down, but she got out of the snowmobile and rushed sleepily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blond creature emerged. It was pea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a walrus and a pair of pliers. It had six maroon eyes in its gut. "Nibehatoo whymiloobap ycugob, jygemoob ce bodroope, jypelij cichok," the creature said.
"Weird," Tara said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Chisel cedar tree X-Acto knife post and beam napkin back down to steppe," the thing debated.
"Now we're talking. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Loneretoo fishing rod clolapylim."
"Why don't you take your fishing rod and shove it in your nostril?" Tara retorted.
The creature looked enchanting. "Myjajooge slikodajig ilokool, nafecej," it declaimed. "Guquegyp!" it continued.
"Your face is a guquegyp!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, fashionable creature; she was feeling unusually drowsy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or flight mechanic. If she had been carrying an épée, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Xi will be delighted to see you."
The creature climbed slightly and suffered. Then it rose up on its waxy legs, puffed out its heart and set out briskly toward her.
For the first time, Tara had the urge to run, but her pride was hanging and her legs refused to move.
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