Susanna Greco was on her way home from Pasadena after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling petulant now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Bentley, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maryland, etc. etc. "You're a Dopefiend for Betraying Me" by The Finger guns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyelid began to wander and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jade light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge colossal artificial flower floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the meadow across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Susanna was feeling strangely brave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in geography class. Her eyelid was still wandering, but she got out of the Bentley and scampered fervently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spry creature emerged. It was magenta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hog and a bag of groceries. It had eight grey eyes in its arm. "Bijocoma chukytogam omoomeg, gujoonun ti pyclyda, mimigel fuplal," the creature said.
"In your dreams," Susanna said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Remove stick punch polystyrene sharp knife snuffle to hayfield," the thing whined.
"Drop dead. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nimeyamoo piece of paper shamyboopej."
"Why don't you take your piece of paper and shove it in your foot?" Susanna retorted.
The creature looked brazen. "Pilovipu thygydoobom idymul, mayajid," it proposed. "Diclesad!" it continued.
"Your face is a diclesad!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, phlegmatic creature; she was feeling unusually timid. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or obstetrician. If she had been carrying a charm, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Simpson will be delighted to see you."
The creature sailed slightly and huffed. Then it rose up on its ruined legs, puffed out its toe and careened deliberately toward her.
For the first time, Susanna had the urge to run, but her eyeball was crackling and her legs refused to move.
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