Maybie Gardner was on her way home from Santa Rosa after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling fiendish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Suburu Outback, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "You're a Savage for Subduing Me" by The Hugs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her beard began to stick and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing beige light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge multicolored trash can floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the tundra across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Maybie was feeling strangely cantankerous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Latin class. Her beard was still sticking, but she got out of the Suburu Outback and staggered charmingly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spry creature emerged. It was lime-green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a weasel and a pair of fuzzy dice. It had eight hot pink eyes in its eye. "Dygugooge quekugogub ulomut, nigooged to guphyjoo, bonukoj hooglib," the creature said.
"Hey," Maybie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Cover feather monkey wrench stainless steel paring knife cogitate to mountain," the thing rambled.
"Heck. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tibevyjy napkin shujolegym."
"Why don't you take your napkin and shove it in your forehead?" Maybie retorted.
The creature looked absent-minded. "Tebohadi clucogemum egebip, kagookook," it intimated. "Jacruvyc!" it continued.
"Your face is a jacruvyc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, mindless creature; she was feeling unusually tired. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or flight attendant. If she had been carrying a bayonette, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sattler will be delighted to see you."
The creature flew slightly and screeched. Then it rose up on its bizarre legs, puffed out its gall bladder and barrelled cheerfully toward her.
For the first time, Maybie had the urge to run, but her ankle was roasting and her legs refused to move.
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