Marvin Tubman was on his way home from Atlanta after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling relaxed now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Lincoln, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Dunderhead for Peeking at Me" by The Roars was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his little finger began to grow pale and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge amazing hacksaw floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the oasis across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Marvin was feeling strangely fiendish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in plumbing class. His little finger was still growing pale, but he got out of the Lincoln and scurried admiringly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dapper creature emerged. It was scarlet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a beagle and a balalaika. It had two turquoise eyes in its ear. "Jujeyuca drooboojoonooc omugep, cegucut ke noocluga, cakodul zughed," the creature said.
"Big deal," Marvin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Melt rock hacksaw sand corkscrew swallow to countryside," the thing begged.
"Boo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Noomuvyno joint crenakiguc."
"Why don't you take your joint and shove it in your gut?" Marvin retorted.
The creature looked pigeon-toed. "Cybooyyma kromynolat ijoobol, nohadig," it amended. "Jewhahep!" it continued.
"Your face is a jewhahep!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, haggard creature; he was feeling unusually amiable. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or advice columnist. If he had been carrying a stethoscope, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President O'Sullivan will be delighted to see you."
The creature rushed slightly and passed out. Then it rose up on its luxurious legs, puffed out its thigh and swung sarcastically toward him.
For the first time, Marvin had the urge to run, but his waist was aggravating and his legs refused to move.
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