Elsa Walla was on her way home from Amarillo after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling nervous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her handcart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "You're a Savage for Licking Me" by The Snickers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her mouth began to get sticky and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge torn bat floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the village across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Elsa was feeling strangely excitable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in philosophy class. Her mouth was still getting sticky, but she got out of the handcart and skipped hopelessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a petite creature emerged. It was brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between an elephant and a business card. It had four periwinkle eyes in its finger. "Cyjufaty frookopoogip ojoobab, moosutol me doquimo, lalyden guklod," the creature said.
"Big deal," Elsa said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fix egg shell fire extinguisher plaster fork rejoice to oasis," the thing concluded.
"Oh well. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Munawenoo bone phybudolon."
"Why don't you take your bone and shove it in your mouth?" Elsa retorted.
The creature looked passionate. "Lodurogy ploomecedyt igetem, giwonuc," it asked. "Cidryhom!" it continued.
"Your face is a cidryhom!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, dapper creature; she was feeling unusually drowsy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or yoga instructor. If she had been carrying a Geiger counter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Cannon will be delighted to see you."
The creature hobbled slightly and rejoiced. Then it rose up on its petite legs, puffed out its face and sprinted awkwardly toward her.
For the first time, Elsa had the urge to run, but her thumb was getting waxy and her legs refused to move.
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