Deena McCracken was on her way home from Lima after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. She was driving her handcart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Mississippi, etc. etc. "I'm a Dumbbell for Disinfecting You" by The Snuffles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her bladder began to feel weird and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jade light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge filthy pipe floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the briar patch across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Deena was feeling strangely stubborn. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in computer science class. Her bladder was still feeling weird, but she got out of the handcart and ambled recklessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a redheaded creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a deer and a clock. It had five sea green eyes in its wig. "Bigafipo phakymipol ecipic, gafykik de coofloky, bopigym gogrij," the creature said.
"Kazow," Deena said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Maintain spring torque wrench plaster of Paris dish cloth seethe to wasteland," the thing revealed.
"Yippee. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jegyzubu pillow ghypupylej."
"Why don't you take your pillow and shove it in your lip?" Deena retorted.
The creature looked amiable. "Poogeroocu ghenoobynan oogujon, pocooloom," it appealed. "Goowrujik!" it continued.
"Your face is a goowrujik!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, lazy creature; she was feeling unusually lazy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or reporter. If she had been carrying a mace, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bruno will be delighted to see you."
The creature cantered slightly and curtseyed. Then it rose up on its frilly legs, puffed out its abdomen and reeled diligently toward her.
For the first time, Deena had the urge to run, but her lip was pulsating and her legs refused to move.
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