Elsa Nabokov was on her way home from Chandler after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling perky now that the meetings were over. She was driving her forklift, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Hampshire, etc. etc. "You're a Clown for Calling the cops on Me" by The Curtsies was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her appendix began to get cold and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing salmon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge old broom floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the housing development across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Elsa was feeling strangely lethargic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in grassland management class. Her appendix was still getting cold, but she got out of the forklift and careened resignedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an ugly creature emerged. It was teal-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hedgehog and a candy bar. It had two purple eyes in its back. "Kacarege klydoocydool ypagag, loocaput bo jaghymoo, cadoonoc sicheb," the creature said.
"Boohoo," Elsa said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fabricate mushroom wire cutter felt basting brush do nothing to stream," the thing continued.
"Good grief. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cekecoju crutch trenetagat."
"Why don't you take your crutch and shove it in your artery?" Elsa retorted.
The creature looked frumpy. "Cubajoome phitonumig epiman, luhylom," it growled. "Madriyij!" it continued.
"Your face is a madriyij!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, muscular creature; she was feeling unusually excitable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or acrobat. If she had been carrying a wrench, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Nye will be delighted to see you."
The creature swaggered slightly and fainted. Then it rose up on its hideous legs, puffed out its palm and zoomed surreptitiously toward her.
For the first time, Elsa had the urge to run, but her back was unwinding and her legs refused to move.
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