JD Pough was on his way home from Cheyenne after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling relaxed now that the meetings were over. He was driving his wheelbarrow, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Iowa, etc. etc. "You're a Shrew for Smacking Me" by The Cheers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his kidney began to loosen up and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing fuchsia light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge mechanical coat check ticket floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mesa across the road, then reluctantly descended to the ground.
JD was feeling strangely somber. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in music theory class. His kidney was still loosening up, but he got out of the wheelbarrow and leapt demurely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gaunt creature emerged. It was purple-ish in color and looked like a cross between a pony and a cigarette. It had four sparkly eyes in its shin. "Nygeruda phajitacuc ykegok, pujonoop jy kiclupa, lolokum cigran," the creature said.
"I doubt it," JD said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Burn weed file recycled newspaper Sham-Wow! whistle to island," the thing tittered.
"What the dickens. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gymihoocu stack of papers gropulejid."
"Why don't you take your stack of papers and shove it in your horn?" JD retorted.
The creature looked crafty. "Noocywoge drolydakad edotep, lyjonyj," it moaned. "Nokraroj!" it continued.
"Your face is a nokraroj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, fearless creature; he was feeling unusually cheerful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or millionaire. If he had been carrying a Millwall brick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Beversdorf will be delighted to see you."
The creature zipped slightly and vomited. Then it rose up on its dusty legs, puffed out its hair and galloped neatly toward him.
For the first time, JD had the urge to run, but his forehead was getting tired and his legs refused to move.
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