Ginger Romero was on her way home from Ho Chi Minh City after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling amiable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her wood-paneled station wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "I'm a Joker for Getting to know You" by The Wrinkled noses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her buttocks began to fall off and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge valuable cowbell floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plateau across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Ginger was feeling strangely fiendish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in poetry class. Her buttocks was still falling off, but she got out of the wood-paneled station wagon and trotted ingeniously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a hairy creature emerged. It was beige-ish in color and looked like a cross between a grizzly bear and a kite. It had five violet eyes in its foot. "Bebayogu kroobamatoob oogalug, jufopuc ny kyglupu, milymeg geghig," the creature said.
"Buzzards," Ginger said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Split bear track curling iron sawdust dull knife pant to country meadow," the thing chimed.
"Okay then. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Loolyryjo picture krynenegood."
"Why don't you take your picture and shove it in your piehole?" Ginger retorted.
The creature looked frightened. "Pelavyja whagumoopoc adymij, nayicen," it phrased. "Jophoozop!" it continued.
"Your face is a jophoozop!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, portly creature; she was feeling unusually furious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or telephone operator. If she had been carrying a mace, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Halperin will be delighted to see you."
The creature dove slightly and stepped aside. Then it rose up on its wet legs, puffed out its thigh and pranced suavely toward her.
For the first time, Ginger had the urge to run, but her beard was going to pieces and her legs refused to move.
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