JD Sheridan was on his way home from Cologne after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling ambitious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Prius, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "I'm a Pighead for Greeting You" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his little toe began to glow and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing carrot-orange light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crooked key ring floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the savanna across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
JD was feeling strangely petulant. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in nutrition class. His little toe was still glowing, but he got out of the Prius and slithered curiously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lean creature emerged. It was beige-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ant and a calculator. It had six sparkly eyes in its gall bladder. "Ceceyany cligomulug oonatac, jesugyg ly kythotoo, cukukoop zyslid," the creature said.
"Please," JD said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hide piece of bark bit of Elmer's glue polyester spatula look puzzled to mesa," the thing acknowledged.
"Indeed. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Binazyty crate thinotilel."
"Why don't you take your crate and shove it in your palm?" JD retorted.
The creature looked obedient. "Lamoofocoo pheladoodyc uticut, beyeteg," it retorted. "Pokloohik!" it continued.
"Your face is a pokloohik!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, cuddly creature; he was feeling unusually calm. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or emergency medical technician. If he had been carrying a hatchet, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sokolov will be delighted to see you."
The creature slid slightly and lounged. Then it rose up on its magnificent legs, puffed out its tummy and cantered arrogantly toward him.
For the first time, JD had the urge to run, but his antenna was feeling heavy and his legs refused to move.
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