Thelma Caldwell was on her way home from Riverside after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling self-confident now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Lamborghini, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Mexico, etc. etc. "You're a Whippersnapper for Remembering Me" by The Raspberries was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hairdo began to fester and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge queer fish floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the village across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Thelma was feeling strangely drowsy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in constitutional law class. Her hairdo was still festering, but she got out of the Lamborghini and walked hysterically toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a small creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tiger and a toy. It had two jade eyes in its waist. "Jajizoli grininytyn enygub, byzypyj by tawhiby, ludoopoog guflad," the creature said.
"Behold," Thelma said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Study bear track wire stripper plaster pastry blender daydream to village," the thing swore.
"Woops. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kumygine dead butterfly proliducyt."
"Why don't you take your dead butterfly and shove it in your belly button?" Thelma retorted.
The creature looked anemic. "Gygecoopu clumidatyk ibonem, tahigim," it snarled. "Cuslajyg!" it continued.
"Your face is a cuslajyg!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, poised creature; she was feeling unusually carefree. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or missionary. If she had been carrying a magic spell, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Arnold will be delighted to see you."
The creature swung slightly and shook. Then it rose up on its damp legs, puffed out its rib and hopped valiantly toward her.
For the first time, Thelma had the urge to run, but her head was slipping and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter