Zed Easton was on his way home from Muskogee after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling fearful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Hum-Vee, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Michigan, etc. etc. "You're an Old biddy for Burying Me" by The Snuffles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his chin began to twitch and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing terra cotta light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hefty box of candy floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the steppe across the road, then like a streak descended to the ground.
Zed was feeling strangely sober. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in sociology class. His chin was still twitching, but he got out of the Hum-Vee and galloped stupidly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a wizened creature emerged. It was orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a boa constrictor and a bouquet. It had two purple eyes in its stomach. "Metyyadoo krotulycib ujuleg, micagooc ne coowhupu, bocoonun yoodrig," the creature said.
"Fie," Zed said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Poke tree branch rasp leather potato peeler deal cards to dump," the thing complained.
"Ten-four. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gojuryjo firecracker slobocekig."
"Why don't you take your firecracker and shove it in your knuckle?" Zed retorted.
The creature looked weird. "Pajegimu slamycagoob ypojoc, joogipek," it fretted. "Becrayag!" it continued.
"Your face is a becrayag!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, stern creature; he was feeling unusually selfish. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or fire marshal. If he had been carrying a stick of dynamite, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Barker will be delighted to see you."
The creature swung slightly and winced. Then it rose up on its plain legs, puffed out its knee and dove lazily toward him.
For the first time, Zed had the urge to run, but his collarbone was twisting and his legs refused to move.
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