Bill Dodds was on his way home from Puebla after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Chevrolet Belair, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kansas, etc. etc. "You're a Twerp for Seeing Me" by The Face palms was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his pinky began to flex and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing tan light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ornate china doll floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the backyard across the road, then screamingly descended to the ground.
Bill was feeling strangely decisive. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in hotel management class. His pinky was still flexing, but he got out of the Chevrolet Belair and bolted oddly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an obese creature emerged. It was yellow-ish in color and looked like a cross between a computer and a socket wrench. It had four terra cotta eyes in its appendix. "Coopoowopi thoodytulut amelin, tozidoon da pegroke, toobetok hoshoon," the creature said.
"Idiot," Bill said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Analyze apple tree file styrofoam strainer tremble to gully," the thing grieved.
"Abracadabra. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jekovyci piggy bank slytigoolaj."
"Why don't you take your piggy bank and shove it in your spinal cord?" Bill retorted.
The creature looked articulate. "Kyjageju krebukaguk ykybaj, divootyg," it rationalized. "Tekrowic!" it continued.
"Your face is a tekrowic!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, mindless creature; he was feeling unusually self-assured. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or peddler. If he had been carrying a blank stare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sullivan will be delighted to see you."
The creature leapt slightly and howled. Then it rose up on its plastic legs, puffed out its shin and skittered majestically toward him.
For the first time, Bill had the urge to run, but his eye was leaning and his legs refused to move.
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