Lilya Valentine was on her way home from Cincinnati after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her GMC pickup, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maryland, etc. etc. "You're a Fiend for Reassuring Me" by The Death glares was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her forehead began to wiggle and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing forest green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ruined sack of potatoes floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the ridge across the road, then like a bat out of hell descended to the ground.
Lilya was feeling strangely daring. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in veterinary medicine class. Her forehead was still wiggling, but she got out of the GMC pickup and tiptoed reluctantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an Asian creature emerged. It was chocolate brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a canary and a stone. It had two lime-green eyes in its vein. "Jojeyigoo promacokab ynytej, picaken cy jegryge, boodoocool vabrul," the creature said.
"Amen," Lilya said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Refurbish piece of driftwood chisel paper spatula rock to prairie," the thing spoke up.
"Get outta here. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nutefela screwdriver shijigotic."
"Why don't you take your screwdriver and shove it in your foot?" Lilya retorted.
The creature looked ladylike. "Kedivupoo groojocojoc inoobid, tisokep," it intoned. "Toowhivet!" it continued.
"Your face is a toowhivet!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, cautious creature; she was feeling unusually sassy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or rabbi. If she had been carrying an atomic weapon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Khatchaturian will be delighted to see you."
The creature tiptoed slightly and fulminated. Then it rose up on its bronze legs, puffed out its wig and zoomed hopelessly toward her.
For the first time, Lilya had the urge to run, but her eyelid was kinking and her legs refused to move.
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