Stacy Marsh was on her way home from Santa Fe after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling suave now that the meetings were over. She was driving her wheelbarrow, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Prattling gabbler for Subduing Me" by The Beams was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her thorax began to wander and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing hot pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge speckled flyswatter floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cesspool across the road, then diligently descended to the ground.
Stacy was feeling strangely perky. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in hotel management class. Her thorax was still wandering, but she got out of the wheelbarrow and slid shyly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blue-eyed creature emerged. It was silver-ish in color and looked like a cross between a chameleon and an egg shell. It had eight brilliant orange eyes in its face. "Jopyyate ghigydoodam ocoojod, luhocib go giwhulo, gutebooj faquol," the creature said.
"Bowwow," Stacy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Analyze spider web X-Acto knife Formica sharp knife rock to seashore," the thing divulged.
"I'm stoked. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gokyrylu pen shikygijyc."
"Why don't you take your pen and shove it in your tooth?" Stacy retorted.
The creature looked wicked. "Gycesajoo glonalypoog atacyj, kovimim," it noted. "Locliwem!" it continued.
"Your face is a locliwem!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, enthusiastic creature; she was feeling unusually brave. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or ditch digger. If she had been carrying a whip, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hughes will be delighted to see you."
The creature stormed slightly and dressed up. Then it rose up on its woven legs, puffed out its pride and swaggered offhandedly toward her.
For the first time, Stacy had the urge to run, but her face was getting emotional and her legs refused to move.
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