Alex Martin was on his way home from San Bernardino after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling sassy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his hoverboard, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Crackpot for Tricking Me" by The Woofs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his chest began to stiffen and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing orange light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bizarre pillow floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seacoast across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Alex was feeling strangely self-assured. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in meteorology class. His chest was still stiffening, but he got out of the hoverboard and waltzed repeatedly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spry creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a panda and a playing card. It had three pea green eyes in its throat. "Ketifikoo trogoocybud oonapyg, tooryjij mi nigloco, koopekoj jaglin," the creature said.
"Unreal," Alex said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hook fish broadaxe cork ice pick snore to arroyo," the thing commented.
"Barf. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lypiseca teddy bear wrenylityb."
"Why don't you take your teddy bear and shove it in your cheek?" Alex retorted.
The creature looked ignoble. "Kilegubo thajojoojij okooceb, mihugod," it lectured. "Deshygim!" it continued.
"Your face is a deshygim!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, choleric creature; he was feeling unusually cuddly. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or taxi driver. If he had been carrying a golf club, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Marsh will be delighted to see you."
The creature jumped slightly and watched. Then it rose up on its weird legs, puffed out its stomach and cantered doubtfully toward him.
For the first time, Alex had the urge to run, but his dignity was stiffening and his legs refused to move.
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