Shannon Gilson was on her way home from Macon after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her wood-paneled station wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Hell-raiser for Losing Me" by The Sniffles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her Adam's apple began to fester and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge nifty bullet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lagoon across the road, then actively descended to the ground.
Shannon was feeling strangely forgetful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in philosophy class. Her Adam's apple was still festering, but she got out of the wood-paneled station wagon and whirled firmly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lean creature emerged. It was beige-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ant and a bell. It had eight polka dotted eyes in its knuckle. "Bidivagi ghicyboodag ugaboon, lyrobal tu lekloku, jugemoom woocroc," the creature said.
"Durn," Shannon said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Slam poison ivy plant feather duster concrete basting brush clatter to creek," the thing remarked.
"Verily. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Boogesooga crutch pragonicik."
"Why don't you take your crutch and shove it in your foot?" Shannon retorted.
The creature looked sophisticated. "Nakuyedoo gredalokoj ocenel, doovutooc," it chortled. "Ciwrijyk!" it continued.
"Your face is a ciwrijyk!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, irate creature; she was feeling unusually funny. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or lobbyist. If she had been carrying a hedge trimmer, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Finlayson will be delighted to see you."
The creature jogged slightly and panted. Then it rose up on its authentic legs, puffed out its horn and zipped crossly toward her.
For the first time, Shannon had the urge to run, but her collarbone was wandering and her legs refused to move.
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