Clio McGee was on her way home from Quito after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling frantic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her magic carpet, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Ohio, etc. etc. "You're a Reptile for Burying Me" by The Backward glances was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her carotid artery began to twitch and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing violet light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ornate skull floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seashore across the road, then screamingly descended to the ground.
Clio was feeling strangely shy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in entomology class. Her carotid artery was still twitching, but she got out of the magic carpet and lurched frantically toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bearded creature emerged. It was green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lion and a Rubik's cube. It had four orange eyes in its pride. "Gyboofymi pronigacim ipocob, tisomog je tophokoo, batidak cuchen," the creature said.
"Shazam," Clio said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Clamp mulberry tree roll of duct tape lumber whisk wobble to canyon," the thing peeped.
"Sure. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kodujaji apple whabipened."
"Why don't you take your apple and shove it in your pancreas?" Clio retorted.
The creature looked conscientious. "Podayala slacycamik emyboc, tocekob," it exploded. "Juproojac!" it continued.
"Your face is a juproojac!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, phlegmatic creature; she was feeling unusually funny. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or restaurant owner. If she had been carrying a can of Raid, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Cosak will be delighted to see you."
The creature marched slightly and backed down. Then it rose up on its multicolored legs, puffed out its face and careened dubiously toward her.
For the first time, Clio had the urge to run, but her hoof was bulging and her legs refused to move.
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