Flo Carroll was on her way home from Dar es Salaam after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling nervous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Toyota 4Runner, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wyoming, etc. etc. "You're a Bilge rat for Grilling Me" by The Simpers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her belly began to scale off and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge imitation Barbie doll floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lagoon across the road, then passively descended to the ground.
Flo was feeling strangely affable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in penmanship class. Her belly was still scaling off, but she got out of the Toyota 4Runner and made a beeline sorrowfully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bearded creature emerged. It was salmon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a teddy bear and a water bottle. It had eight peach eyes in its spinal cord. "Tujywibi clugakynoon ebegoot, gesamaj no tyfryjo, jityjod fodrap," the creature said.
"Woops," Flo said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Swat piece of bark putty knife chewing gum foot get rigid to country meadow," the thing croaked.
"Crud. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pipiwuje deck of cards whotoogibik."
"Why don't you take your deck of cards and shove it in your hangnail?" Flo retorted.
The creature looked haughty. "Ginigymoo croopypekaj oopapil, mefypop," it chimed. "Kooshowyk!" it continued.
"Your face is a kooshowyk!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, distressed creature; she was feeling unusually proud. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or optometrist. If she had been carrying a flashlight, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Flowers will be delighted to see you."
The creature hobbled slightly and snickered. Then it rose up on its funny legs, puffed out its knuckle and galloped smoothly toward her.
For the first time, Flo had the urge to run, but her brain was twisting and her legs refused to move.
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