Shannon Moretti was on her way home from Pembroke after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling daring now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagen Passat, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "I'm a Poopyface for Snuggling with You" by The Evil eyes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her midriff began to wiggle and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing tan light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gigantic chamber pot floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the canyon across the road, then moderately descended to the ground.
Shannon was feeling strangely suave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in manners class. Her midriff was still wiggling, but she got out of the Volkswagen Passat and careened diligently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pretty creature emerged. It was ivory-ish in color and looked like a cross between a pelican and a sack. It had seven orange eyes in its scalp. "Mocoyeju slanakajooj omujaj, kisegek ky jygriju, goobugob vubryc," the creature said.
"At last," Shannon said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Whirl cedar tree wire cutter cast iron egg cutter twitch to battlefield," the thing maintained.
"Not on your life. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mytyhomy magnet quydoobymeg."
"Why don't you take your magnet and shove it in your eyelash?" Shannon retorted.
The creature looked dependable. "Ketajuba troocagyjam oonacoom, pefadek," it growled. "Gysliyed!" it continued.
"Your face is a gysliyed!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, demented creature; she was feeling unusually dapper. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or snake charmer. If she had been carrying a baton, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Frankle will be delighted to see you."
The creature struggled slightly and shook. Then it rose up on its funny legs, puffed out its abdomen and slid victoriously toward her.
For the first time, Shannon had the urge to run, but her cheek was blanching and her legs refused to move.
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