Geraldo Drake was on his way home from Lakewood after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling timid now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Suburu Outback, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Pennsylvania, etc. etc. "I'm a Scurvy dog for Baffling You" by The Flutters was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his spleen began to get soft and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge dirty church key floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the countryside across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Geraldo was feeling strangely thoughtful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in art class. His spleen was still getting soft, but he got out of the Suburu Outback and sallied forth energetically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cadaverous creature emerged. It was amber-ish in color and looked like a cross between a llama and a chart. It had five metallic red eyes in its bladder. "Tijeromoo preganoocyj opimyd, boosogim py nothobi, benogon veghoog," the creature said.
"Cripes," Geraldo said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Modify seed pod hammer string meat tenderizer grumble to range," the thing piped up.
"Lord be praised. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Camefykoo ball trobudoojoj."
"Why don't you take your ball and shove it in your funny bone?" Geraldo retorted.
The creature looked sleek. "Tanecaga flotoocoojood ilytyt, pawudak," it whispered. "Lushuzem!" it continued.
"Your face is a lushuzem!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, difficult creature; he was feeling unusually dumb. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or Siamese cat rancher. If he had been carrying an angry glare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Stewart will be delighted to see you."
The creature sneaked slightly and died. Then it rose up on its chic legs, puffed out its eyebrow and padded cautiously toward him.
For the first time, Geraldo had the urge to run, but his rib was leaning and his legs refused to move.
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