Mary Roman was on her way home from Grand Prairie after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Fiat, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "You're a Thug for Peeking at Me" by The Bounds was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her face began to falter and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bent coconut floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seashore across the road, then promptly descended to the ground.
Mary was feeling strangely sarcastic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in programming class. Her face was still faltering, but she got out of the Fiat and bolted gleefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blond creature emerged. It was orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ape and a flute. It had eight chartreuse eyes in its rib. "Goocoofigoo glejinudym apojac, gasedeb ki jyghupa, nykobuc viquib," the creature said.
"Knock me over with a feather," Mary said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Destroy maple tree plane nylon knife sit still to pasture," the thing analyzed.
"Awesome. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jookawygo dollar bill krulupodook."
"Why don't you take your dollar bill and shove it in your forehead?" Mary retorted.
The creature looked bellicose. "Tadogoojy clodimitat ubootag, nyjineg," it rationalized. "Ciwroocuj!" it continued.
"Your face is a ciwroocuj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, paranoid creature; she was feeling unusually somber. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or window washer. If she had been carrying a street sweeper, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Pavlov will be delighted to see you."
The creature ran slightly and passed out. Then it rose up on its flaky legs, puffed out its eye and marched slyly toward her.
For the first time, Mary had the urge to run, but her shin was dissolving and her legs refused to move.
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