Cornelius Bowe was on his way home from Pueblo after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cruel now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Jaguar, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Sucker for Stunning Me" by The Wrinkled noses was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his kidney began to oscillate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jade light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge peculiar clothespin floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the butte across the road, then chop-chop descended to the ground.
Cornelius was feeling strangely forgetful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in subtraction class. His kidney was still oscillating, but he got out of the Jaguar and sashayed shyly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cute creature emerged. It was green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a duck and a spinning wheel. It had eight indigo eyes in its thorax. "Moocuroci plajudymoj elookik, poohabim moo nashyda, gekolel rythod," the creature said.
"Crackers," Cornelius said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Roast fish nail clipper stucco pair of chopsticks turn blue to river," the thing intoned.
"Zounds. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lajavuto roll of toilet paper tratoniged."
"Why don't you take your roll of toilet paper and shove it in your paw?" Cornelius retorted.
The creature looked irate. "Lecasabo phepekabab igigib, juyujoob," it argued. "Jechywaj!" it continued.
"Your face is a jechywaj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, naïve creature; he was feeling unusually distressed. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or communist. If he had been carrying a mosquito net, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Pummelly will be delighted to see you."
The creature bolted slightly and fretted. Then it rose up on its crusty legs, puffed out its neck and crept slyly toward him.
For the first time, Cornelius had the urge to run, but his stomach was getting fuzzy and his legs refused to move.
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