Candi Cantada was on her way home from Salinas after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling amiable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her moped, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Missouri, etc. etc. "I'm a Dope for Outrunning You" by The Power fists was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her gall bladder began to whistle and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ordinary knitting needle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the crime scene across the road, then hurriedly descended to the ground.
Candi was feeling strangely drowsy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in information science class. Her gall bladder was still whistling, but she got out of the moped and bounced positively toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a filthy creature emerged. It was brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a crocodile and a dog collar. It had four pink eyes in its bladder. "Mojoziky chemubulib apypoob, lovinim jy booshotoo, lanibol gegrep," the creature said.
"Eww," Candi said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Clean raspberry bush shovel bone pastry blender murmur to badlands area," the thing pleaded.
"What the devil. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Momefitu apple brimypaloob."
"Why don't you take your apple and shove it in your hangnail?" Candi retorted.
The creature looked lanky. "Gelyzybi plulubukood acedool, pyroojyt," it wondered. "Jythisek!" it continued.
"Your face is a jythisek!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, selfish creature; she was feeling unusually daring. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or magistrate. If she had been carrying a can of pepper spray, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Griffin will be delighted to see you."
The creature zoomed slightly and twitched. Then it rose up on its smelly legs, puffed out its ear and zoomed sadly toward her.
For the first time, Candi had the urge to run, but her lip was overheating and her legs refused to move.
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