Aaron Sargent was on his way home from Durham after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling merry now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Taurus, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "I'm a Worm for Touching You" by The Curtsies was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his stomach began to rot and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bronze hair dryer floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the country meadow across the road, then like a bat out of hell descended to the ground.
Aaron was feeling strangely merry. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in alchemy class. His stomach was still rotting, but he got out of the Ford Taurus and set out sadly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pretty creature emerged. It was striped-ish in color and looked like a cross between a boar and a can of sardines. It had eight brown eyes in its wig. "Napuceku wromotoogoon oogitun, toojajip boo jyquijoo, boodebil joclooc," the creature said.
"Bada bing bada boom," Aaron said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Protect rock lug wrench satin meat tenderizer deal cards to arroyo," the thing phrased.
"Eureka. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pucewooga key ring thoonukakyp."
"Why don't you take your key ring and shove it in your piehole?" Aaron retorted.
The creature looked pigeon-toed. "Mederucy placupidob elucam, tyrypup," it chuckled. "Pachoovaj!" it continued.
"Your face is a pachoovaj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, contented creature; he was feeling unusually fearful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or miner. If he had been carrying a shiv, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Day will be delighted to see you."
The creature padded slightly and rocked. Then it rose up on its flexible legs, puffed out its skull and bounded lovingly toward him.
For the first time, Aaron had the urge to run, but his abdomen was perking up and his legs refused to move.
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