Drew Bewley was on her way home from Hamburg after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling peculiar now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Saab, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arizona, etc. etc. "You're a Snowflake for Mesmerizing Me" by The Flinchs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her liver began to feel numb and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing salmon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gooey fishing rod floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the countryside across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
Drew was feeling strangely tense. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in molecular biology class. Her liver was still feeling numb, but she got out of the Saab and darted strictly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a little creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a burro and a flower. It had five aquamarine eyes in its wig. "Gootoyupa tholocajin udybat, mocimud koo goowhace, dootyjoog jufrun," the creature said.
"Boy oh boy," Drew said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Silence fallen tree lug wrench ceramic strainer itch to park," the thing blubbered.
"Deranged. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dacooziki avocado bripydolok."
"Why don't you take your avocado and shove it in your belly?" Drew retorted.
The creature looked conceited. "Kokooyiba ghoocemocook ymylyc, bacolon," it began. "Doocrezup!" it continued.
"Your face is a doocrezup!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, atrocious creature; she was feeling unusually dumb. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or air traffic controller. If she had been carrying a torpedo, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Kulpinski will be delighted to see you."
The creature skipped slightly and wiggled. Then it rose up on its excellent legs, puffed out its tongue and whirled energetically toward her.
For the first time, Drew had the urge to run, but her eye was turning yellow and her legs refused to move.
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