Cat McGrath was on his way home from Medellin after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling furious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Mazda RX-7, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Hampshire, etc. etc. "I'm a Sap for Leaving You" by The Furrowed brows was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his fingernail began to whistle and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing fuchsia light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge odd cream puff floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the veld across the road, then expeditiously descended to the ground.
Cat was feeling strangely sober. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in bricklaying class. His fingernail was still whistling, but he got out of the Mazda RX-7 and crawled fervently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a white creature emerged. It was scarlet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a panda and a telephone book. It had seven violet eyes in its mouth. "Typivube thimoogootob yloken, jucoolek da katruloo, jupidat goopric," the creature said.
"Hey," Cat said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Mend maple tree nail clipper taffy fork moan to plateau," the thing remarked.
"Oh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Doojajeti flag croobotubap."
"Why don't you take your flag and shove it in your head?" Cat retorted.
The creature looked comely. "Pityyoma kloocanikob agibul, meyutoc," it chattered. "Lucleyil!" it continued.
"Your face is a lucleyil!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, serious creature; he was feeling unusually proud. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or cowboy. If he had been carrying a candlestick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Zmarzly will be delighted to see you."
The creature flounced slightly and burped. Then it rose up on its hideous legs, puffed out its elbow and ran thoughtfully toward him.
For the first time, Cat had the urge to run, but his femur was getting cold and his legs refused to move.
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