Esmeralda Ecklund was on her way home from Sunnyvale after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling peculiar now that the meetings were over. She was driving her canoe, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "I'm a Low-life for Aweing You" by The Beams was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her chin began to act weird and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jade light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge prickly fire hose floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the garden across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Esmeralda was feeling strangely brash. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in government class. Her chin was still acting weird, but she got out of the canoe and zipped nonchalantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an Asian creature emerged. It was terra cotta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hippopotamus and a magazine. It had two fuchsia eyes in its toenail. "Gimoogypy flicytumet ologip, doojapoom cu dagropy, toodocyl zashul," the creature said.
"Great Jehosaphat," Esmeralda said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Burn dead tree nail gun tempered steel strainer screech to country meadow," the thing spat.
"I'm on it. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Doocacoogu apple klupoomoogat."
"Why don't you take your apple and shove it in your head?" Esmeralda retorted.
The creature looked agitated. "Gocayootu wratepokood ydojyk, doococaj," it groveled. "Nufroowup!" it continued.
"Your face is a nufroowup!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, generous creature; she was feeling unusually proud. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or violinist. If she had been carrying a ukulele, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Rajashree will be delighted to see you."
The creature waded slightly and got dizzy. Then it rose up on its stolen legs, puffed out its face and slunk dolefully toward her.
For the first time, Esmeralda had the urge to run, but her intestine was glistening and her legs refused to move.
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