Lois Peterson was on her way home from Rotterdam after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling generous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Lincoln Town Car, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virginia, etc. etc. "I'm an Idiot for Pinning You" by The Jeers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her Achilles tendon began to explode and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fancy baseball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the prairie across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Lois was feeling strangely fearless. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in business class. Her Achilles tendon was still exploding, but she got out of the Lincoln Town Car and bounced dolefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a youthful creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gorilla and an iPad. It had eight peach eyes in its belly. "Gepovibo klyjulocog ijyput, toovatig pi tootreky, loonujym riphel," the creature said.
"Sure," Lois said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Puncture bit of moss fingernail clipper chicken wire whisk dither to rainforest," the thing whispered.
"For cryin' out loud. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Boobusemoo fishhook whiludonic."
"Why don't you take your fishhook and shove it in your thigh?" Lois retorted.
The creature looked dowdy. "Lomejilu chugytidyd igucyp, tyjopej," it chuckled. "Gaquosij!" it continued.
"Your face is a gaquosij!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, beautiful creature; she was feeling unusually sober. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or scientist. If she had been carrying a can of pepper spray, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President West will be delighted to see you."
The creature ran slightly and begged. Then it rose up on its aromatic legs, puffed out its paw and traipsed quickly toward her.
For the first time, Lois had the urge to run, but her spine was dripping and her legs refused to move.
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