Samuel Chang was on his way home from Bangalore after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. He was driving his transporter, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "I'm a Goose for Speaking to You" by The Sniffles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his finger began to get waxy and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing blue light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge greasy hockey puck floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the countryside across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Samuel was feeling strangely carefree. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in the alphabet class. His finger was still getting waxy, but he got out of the transporter and padded busily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a well-built creature emerged. It was chocolate brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a basset hound and a bicycle. It had seven azure eyes in its heel. "Pejuhooka broomujapug onymip, cuhoobap ly jigladi, tenookap rowhooc," the creature said.
"LOL," Samuel said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Wax egg shell pair of safety glasses lumber potato masher go limp to range," the thing boomed.
"For the love of Pete. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cykoocenu coloring book thobymookep."
"Why don't you take your coloring book and shove it in your heel?" Samuel retorted.
The creature looked megalomaniacal. "Kidiviku prooguponyn ylityj, teculel," it trumpeted. "Dudrygit!" it continued.
"Your face is a dudrygit!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, solitary creature; he was feeling unusually carefree. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or home economics teacher. If he had been carrying a bad breath, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Franklin will be delighted to see you."
The creature sashayed slightly and got along. Then it rose up on its curved legs, puffed out its spleen and trotted craftily toward him.
For the first time, Samuel had the urge to run, but his palm was jumping and his legs refused to move.
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