Betsy Beasley was on her way home from Manila after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Porsche, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Texas, etc. etc. "You're a Hound dog for Quieting Me" by The Snickers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her ego began to turn grey and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing magenta light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fancy feather floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gully across the road, then promptly descended to the ground.
Betsy was feeling strangely brave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in information science class. Her ego was still turning grey, but she got out of the Porsche and leapt awkwardly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sorrowful creature emerged. It was maroon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a honeybee and a joint. It had five crimson eyes in its gut. "Pojujuku thubypoocum ynoomup, pafytooj moo naslyda, jimoonyt cywraj," the creature said.
"Blah," Betsy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fortify mulberry tree trowel Sheetrock sharp knife lie around in bed to cave," the thing said.
"Dang it. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pugehelo telephone chumujijoot."
"Why don't you take your telephone and shove it in your nose?" Betsy retorted.
The creature looked gallant. "Kumufoodoo flydoocamut edoolul, jireboot," it breathed. "Tooglooguc!" it continued.
"Your face is a tooglooguc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, puzzled creature; she was feeling unusually dapper. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or hoarder. If she had been carrying a rattlesnake, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McDiggles will be delighted to see you."
The creature swung slightly and ran. Then it rose up on its smelly legs, puffed out its little toe and rolled sympathetically toward her.
For the first time, Betsy had the urge to run, but her vein was flaring up and her legs refused to move.
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