Clio Barton was on her way home from Lisbon after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling nervous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Lincoln, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of California, etc. etc. "I'm a Troglodyte for Excluding You" by The Guffaws was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her big toe began to dangle and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chartreuse light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge immense Egyptian mummy floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the beach across the road, then at a dawdle descended to the ground.
Clio was feeling strangely frantic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in agriculture class. Her big toe was still dangling, but she got out of the Lincoln and marched frantically toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blushing creature emerged. It was burgundy-ish in color and looked like a cross between a moose and a coupon. It had eight silver eyes in its finger. "Nunisuboo phoolokybam oodukip, kygadut gu loogrydu, coogojal yifreg," the creature said.
"Piffle," Clio said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Label raspberry bush sand blaster kelp wooden spoon wander to canyon," the thing yammered.
"Whoop-dee-doo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gotojuto orange bryjejejab."
"Why don't you take your orange and shove it in your nose?" Clio retorted.
The creature looked rude. "Mooleyooci chadigacoom oopidok, cehococ," it chimed. "Nowhywan!" it continued.
"Your face is a nowhywan!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, playful creature; she was feeling unusually awkward. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or funeral director. If she had been carrying a paddle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Carpenter will be delighted to see you."
The creature ran slightly and hung around. Then it rose up on its curved legs, puffed out its adrenal gland and ran blissfully toward her.
For the first time, Clio had the urge to run, but her carotid artery was feeling better and her legs refused to move.
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