Queenie Garvey was on her way home from New Delhi after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Kia Rio, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "You're a Simpleton for Defeating Me" by The Grimaces was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her foot began to aggravate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing crimson light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge smelly pizza floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the island across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
Queenie was feeling strangely brave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in astrophysics class. Her foot was still aggravating, but she got out of the Kia Rio and strolled grimly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an undersized creature emerged. It was striped-ish in color and looked like a cross between a kitty and a paper bag. It had four forest green eyes in its belly button. "Bojoozyly ploboobenod ebogoob, joofoodon mu kyclidi, kebilij zoograk," the creature said.
"Mommy," Queenie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Lynch dead tree Q-tip fairy dust melon baller get along to desert," the thing conversed.
"Diddly poo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pyjoohuju stick of gum groodeboogid."
"Why don't you take your stick of gum and shove it in your abdomen?" Queenie retorted.
The creature looked witty. "Pookafuba quutanykam igimim, jyzoojod," it railed. "Bawhurit!" it continued.
"Your face is a bawhurit!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, slimy creature; she was feeling unusually daring. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or slave. If she had been carrying a sickle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ivanov will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounced slightly and chattered. Then it rose up on its narrow legs, puffed out its artery and traipsed thankfully toward her.
For the first time, Queenie had the urge to run, but her abdomen was putrifying and her legs refused to move.
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