Alexei Al-Ghareeb was on his way home from Hialeah after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his monster truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Dakota, etc. etc. "I'm a Traitor for Spilling a cup of hot chocolate on You" by The Puckers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his knuckle began to dissolve and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing turquoise light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ornate piece of paper floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the neighborhood across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Alexei was feeling strangely calm. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Indian studies class. His knuckle was still dissolving, but he got out of the monster truck and flounced demurely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cadaverous creature emerged. It was aquamarine-ish in color and looked like a cross between a raven and a trash can. It had three salmon eyes in its jaw. "Joodajaju glucudypob ejujej, kugoomut ju koophube, cokybep yecrac," the creature said.
"Hee haw," Alexei said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Slash cedar tree soldering iron post and beam Sham-Wow! lounge to buffalo wallow," the thing debated.
"Durn it. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Detyruti roll of duct tape thikamupik."
"Why don't you take your roll of duct tape and shove it in your gut?" Alexei retorted.
The creature looked considerate. "Kymoofake wrucylonid ebilyp, dyyymoop," it avowed. "Kagroohook!" it continued.
"Your face is a kagroohook!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, coy creature; he was feeling unusually lazy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or sailor. If he had been carrying a water balloon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Haddad will be delighted to see you."
The creature stalked slightly and preached. Then it rose up on its small legs, puffed out its thorax and slipped carelessly toward him.
For the first time, Alexei had the urge to run, but his eye was flexing and his legs refused to move.
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