Fanny Curie was on her way home from Torrance after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sarcastic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her canoe, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "You're a Gossip for Annoying Me" by The Air kisses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her fingernail began to vibrate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chocolate brown light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge soft stuffed kitten floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the tundra across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Fanny was feeling strangely affable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in traditional medicine class. Her fingernail was still vibrating, but she got out of the canoe and waded excitedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a thin creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between an elephant and a banana. It had six tan eyes in its nose. "Lemyzyby prabuboneb ibecel, dyvijob cy caphani, dytoomet goklooj," the creature said.
"In your dreams," Fanny said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Jab apple tree soldering iron cotton corkscrew wobble to gully," the thing questioned.
"Nuts. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bodicaloo paperweight glidabyjoom."
"Why don't you take your paperweight and shove it in your neck?" Fanny retorted.
The creature looked disgusting. "Lemiyoka wromelotaj oobideg, koogemin," it chimed. "Gooquuyyk!" it continued.
"Your face is a gooquuyyk!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, loving creature; she was feeling unusually disagreeable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or fashion designer. If she had been carrying a wooden stake, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Eichmann will be delighted to see you."
The creature galloped slightly and wobbled. Then it rose up on its nice legs, puffed out its forehead and hobbled caustically toward her.
For the first time, Fanny had the urge to run, but her chin was creaking and her legs refused to move.
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