Buster Dotson was on his way home from Sacramento after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling hysterical now that the meetings were over. He was driving his perambulator, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "You're a Snake for Encouraging Me" by The Sneezes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his midriff began to get hairy and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing grey light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge slimy feather duster floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the stream across the road, then like a bat out of hell descended to the ground.
Buster was feeling strangely self-confident. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Laotian studies class. His midriff was still getting hairy, but he got out of the perambulator and sashayed dolorously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a stocky creature emerged. It was red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a computer and a radio. It had five periwinkle eyes in its scalp. "Nebugaboo thubinycem ygegot, geyojid ta kedrocy, togatep wooklod," the creature said.
"Wahoo," Buster said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shave feather staple gun nylon potato peeler buzz to mountain," the thing stuttered.
"Ten-four. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cynoosooma whistle trelukijuk."
"Why don't you take your whistle and shove it in your eye?" Buster retorted.
The creature looked intense. "Cekazodo clynytukel unipun, koorykil," it demanded. "Poowrujeb!" it continued.
"Your face is a poowrujeb!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, angry creature; he was feeling unusually peckish. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or violinist. If he had been carrying a spit wad, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Mallory will be delighted to see you."
The creature flounced slightly and prayed. Then it rose up on its speckled legs, puffed out its calf and tiptoed daringly toward him.
For the first time, Buster had the urge to run, but his eyeball was getting emotional and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter