Jude Dodds was on his way home from Bismark after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling somber now that the meetings were over. He was driving his hoverboard, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kansas, etc. etc. "I'm a Tramp for Getting to know You" by The Flutters was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his front tooth began to vibrate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aquamarine light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge loose notepad floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the trail across the road, then leadenly descended to the ground.
Jude was feeling strangely merry. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Greek class. His front tooth was still vibrating, but he got out of the hoverboard and scooted peevishly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a heavyset creature emerged. It was ivory-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bison and a toilet plunger. It had five white eyes in its finger. "Dabuyicoo klucucijet oolapap, kasucoog bi noplebe, badejyd gyquul," the creature said.
"Maybe," Jude said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Melt tree whisk broom moss spoon dither to hill," the thing blathered.
"Cheers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Poonesadoo vacuum cleaner whymikotyl."
"Why don't you take your vacuum cleaner and shove it in your brain?" Jude retorted.
The creature looked solitary. "Toomyregi ghujyjegool ykogyg, borakik," it yammered. "Mathizit!" it continued.
"Your face is a mathizit!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, sanguine creature; he was feeling unusually puzzled. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or postmaster. If he had been carrying a bad breath, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Blanco will be delighted to see you."
The creature slithered slightly and jiggled. Then it rose up on its gross legs, puffed out its pancreas and darted queerly toward him.
For the first time, Jude had the urge to run, but his shoulder was freaking out and his legs refused to move.
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