Angela Freeman was on her way home from Riverside after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling timid now that the meetings were over. She was driving her ox cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "I'm a Dumbbell for Fighting with You" by The Dope slaps was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her tooth began to oscillate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge nifty pain pill floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gulch across the road, then briskly descended to the ground.
Angela was feeling strangely generous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in molecular biology class. Her tooth was still oscillating, but she got out of the ox cart and sauntered lovingly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cadaverous creature emerged. It was aquamarine-ish in color and looked like a cross between a louse and a toothbrush. It had four lavender eyes in its wrist. "Jupijoome phocijylon upyloog, neyygooc ky gukryma, nodedoot haflin," the creature said.
"Remarkable," Angela said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Puncture flower caulking gun pulp meat tenderizer nod to country meadow," the thing stormed.
"Ho ho. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lykiyokoo fishhook frigupemom."
"Why don't you take your fishhook and shove it in your front tooth?" Angela retorted.
The creature looked decent. "Gumygycu whebilumud odydop, desagat," it stammered. "Kibrogib!" it continued.
"Your face is a kibrogib!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, zany creature; she was feeling unusually self-confident. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or carpenter. If she had been carrying a sickle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Harmon will be delighted to see you."
The creature padded slightly and barfed. Then it rose up on its gaudy legs, puffed out its artery and waddled dreamily toward her.
For the first time, Angela had the urge to run, but her hair was getting moist and her legs refused to move.
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