Eldon Porrello was on his way home from Bismark after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling perky now that the meetings were over. He was driving his bobsled, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "You're a Snoop for Aweing Me" by The Raspberries was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his antenna began to come loose and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pea green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fancy stick floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the veld across the road, then chop-chop descended to the ground.
Eldon was feeling strangely desperate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in political science class. His antenna was still coming loose, but he got out of the bobsled and strolled energetically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an eye-catching creature emerged. It was fuchsia-ish in color and looked like a cross between a goat and a ping-pong paddle. It had two forest green eyes in its hairdo. "Bytujogi glejootakak oonakyt, tooficoog boo jicluly, pijukoot cetrim," the creature said.
"Ouch," Eldon said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Burn cedar tree drill lead potato masher shiver to dumpster," the thing phrased.
"Cowabunga. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Ladisoco flashlight quookutoopot."
"Why don't you take your flashlight and shove it in your gall bladder?" Eldon retorted.
The creature looked sober. "Doonijugu shenibujob apigud, mowopoop," it yammered. "Gewhoocil!" it continued.
"Your face is a gewhoocil!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, lethargic creature; he was feeling unusually drowsy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or insurance agent. If he had been carrying an atomic weapon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Borkowski will be delighted to see you."
The creature breezed slightly and cried. Then it rose up on its sophisticated legs, puffed out its adrenal gland and struggled reluctantly toward him.
For the first time, Eldon had the urge to run, but his little toe was flushing and his legs refused to move.
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