Louie Walla was on his way home from Avonlea after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling ambitious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Nissan Leaf, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kentucky, etc. etc. "You're a Boor for Going out with Me" by The Giggles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his spinal cord began to awaken and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fluffy file folder floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the forest across the road, then nimbly descended to the ground.
Louie was feeling strangely irate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in zoology class. His spinal cord was still awakening, but he got out of the Nissan Leaf and trotted strangely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an athletic creature emerged. It was sea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a yak and a candle. It had two olive green eyes in its bicep. "Jegycadu phylecetub egugoob, noohonook dy cypriju, jugebeb hywhuk," the creature said.
"Ay chihuahua," Louie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shove pine cone jackhammer Formica blender fret to plain," the thing lectured.
"By all the saints. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Loocosama biscuit whoogyjumuk."
"Why don't you take your biscuit and shove it in your little finger?" Louie retorted.
The creature looked depraved. "Gipuzoogo whykinoodem ytatib, nooramuk," it wondered. "Noobrohyg!" it continued.
"Your face is a noobrohyg!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, sophisticated creature; he was feeling unusually petulant. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or philanthropist. If he had been carrying a shiv, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Marino will be delighted to see you."
The creature breezed slightly and awoke. Then it rose up on its hand-carved legs, puffed out its knuckle and stalked patiently toward him.
For the first time, Louie had the urge to run, but his appendix was getting stiff and his legs refused to move.
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