Lucas Dorn was on his way home from Mobile after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling calm now that the meetings were over. He was driving his rocket pack, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Missouri, etc. etc. "You're a Goon for Frightening Me" by The Pouts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his esophagus began to get soft and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aquamarine light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rancid avocado floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the river across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Lucas was feeling strangely lazy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in science class. His esophagus was still getting soft, but he got out of the rocket pack and trekked offhandedly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lean creature emerged. It was scarlet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bear and an African violet. It had five black eyes in its tongue. "Joocifedi prikoolootoob opunon, nuzipooj gi bothene, kepujyc socryc," the creature said.
"Aarrggh," Lucas said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Destroy dead tree heat gun axle grease melon baller screech to ridge," the thing avowed.
"At last. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jijarocoo piece of chalk trumanopoop."
"Why don't you take your piece of chalk and shove it in your hand?" Lucas retorted.
The creature looked dreadful. "Kanuvepy dracucilat iludij, kijoodat," it gasped. "Loglijoob!" it continued.
"Your face is a loglijoob!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, idiotic creature; he was feeling unusually funny. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or cheesemaker. If he had been carrying a syringe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Jude will be delighted to see you."
The creature strode slightly and puffed. Then it rose up on its curved legs, puffed out its abdomen and slipped hopefully toward him.
For the first time, Lucas had the urge to run, but his stomach was fluttering and his legs refused to move.
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