Peggy Ward was on her way home from Krakow after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Buick Riviera, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Mexico, etc. etc. "You're a Slubberdegullion for Correcting Me" by The Sniggers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her thyroid gland began to melt and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hard plaque floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the valley across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Peggy was feeling strangely angry. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in nutrition class. Her thyroid gland was still melting, but she got out of the Buick Riviera and scurried fiercely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a frail creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a manticore and a bird feeder. It had two emerald green eyes in its liver. "Polewogu croogojudyl ocooduj, jezonik ka geglyba, kumolop retreg," the creature said.
"Goodness gracious," Peggy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Dispose of stick X-Acto knife cellophane spatula stare to plateau," the thing cried.
"Get out. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lypoyypy jar of olives trodogidag."
"Why don't you take your jar of olives and shove it in your finger?" Peggy retorted.
The creature looked excitable. "Mytuhuce clemygegool ocoonup, dosemood," it suggested. "Mooplacoom!" it continued.
"Your face is a mooplacoom!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, diabolical creature; she was feeling unusually woozy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or tailor. If she had been carrying a spit wad, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ott will be delighted to see you."
The creature strode slightly and suffered. Then it rose up on its autographed legs, puffed out its brain and capered frenetically toward her.
For the first time, Peggy had the urge to run, but her collarbone was humming and her legs refused to move.
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