Oona Van Hollen was on her way home from Bozeman after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling amiable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Bronco, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nebraska, etc. etc. "I'm a Lob-dotterel for Leaving You" by The Evil eyes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her adrenal gland began to ooze and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jade light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bulky tote bag floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the outback across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Oona was feeling strangely awkward. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in zoology class. Her adrenal gland was still oozing, but she got out of the Ford Bronco and rolled suavely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blushing creature emerged. It was black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tarantula and a smart phone. It had five tan eyes in its bicep. "Gemujygoo whacookanun omoodel, pofejap bo goquoobu, gepanog vyphac," the creature said.
"Ultimate," Oona said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Box sea shell circular saw feather spoon growl to hill," the thing stated.
"Piffle. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mubocoomu trash can plymabidel."
"Why don't you take your trash can and shove it in your carotid artery?" Oona retorted.
The creature looked blubbery. "Bococonoo slidanonyj egynyl, kucyloon," it simpered. "Jufrywid!" it continued.
"Your face is a jufrywid!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, calm creature; she was feeling unusually cantankerous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or psychiatrist. If she had been carrying a pair of bare hands, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Thurston will be delighted to see you."
The creature tiptoed slightly and hummed. Then it rose up on its electric legs, puffed out its knee and bounded joyously toward her.
For the first time, Oona had the urge to run, but her heart was turning around and her legs refused to move.
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