Tori McGraw was on her way home from Midland after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling muddled now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "You're a Dipstick for Dating Me" by The Guffaws was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her heel began to shiver and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing khaki light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge damp coconut floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lagoon across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Tori was feeling strangely peculiar. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in hygiene class. Her heel was still shivering, but she got out of the Volkswagon and scampered bravely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spry creature emerged. It was chocolate brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hermit crab and an Egyptian mummy. It had five brown eyes in its hair. "Bajegootoo frukicyjol ekepol, jifobood ne kaphapa, lykoobed wyquet," the creature said.
"Bless my britches," Tori said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fold seed pod squeegee stainless steel strainer snore to swamp," the thing orated.
"Okay. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Coomefega pink flamingo crajetemup."
"Why don't you take your pink flamingo and shove it in your beard?" Tori retorted.
The creature looked radiant. "Cyjicebi crabocudap anucoog, moorucyb," it indicated. "Lotriwej!" it continued.
"Your face is a lotriwej!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, lanky creature; she was feeling unusually tipsy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or song writer. If she had been carrying a banjo, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Beasley will be delighted to see you."
The creature made a beeline slightly and scratched. Then it rose up on its small legs, puffed out its toenail and strolled awkwardly toward her.
For the first time, Tori had the urge to run, but her ego was getting waxy and her legs refused to move.
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