Walt Eisley was on his way home from Rome after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling brave now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Volkswagen Passat, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "You're a Mush-for-brains for Tricking Me" by The Air kisses was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his heel began to growl and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sparkly light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge autographed bone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the trail across the road, then promptly descended to the ground.
Walt was feeling strangely distressed. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in photography class. His heel was still growling, but he got out of the Volkswagen Passat and dashed valiantly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blond creature emerged. It was lime-green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a German Shepherd and a fountain pen. It had three white eyes in its hip. "Doobyyemi wrajijopyn ipopok, bofetad ti bookriti, tunycim foogryl," the creature said.
"Holy smokes," Walt said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fix raspberry bush chainsaw denim sharp knife frown to marsh," the thing hinted.
"Righto. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gedejoka button whipipalyc."
"Why don't you take your button and shove it in your hangnail?" Walt retorted.
The creature looked pigeon-toed. "Lekesetoo wrecelonyc ykimoot, nywadug," it implored. "Mywroowac!" it continued.
"Your face is a mywroowac!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, fuzzy creature; he was feeling unusually self-confident. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or mathematician. If he had been carrying a defibrillator, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Dirkson will be delighted to see you."
The creature careened slightly and wiggled. Then it rose up on its imported legs, puffed out its leg and scampered stealthily toward him.
For the first time, Walt had the urge to run, but his gall bladder was tingling and his legs refused to move.
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