Madelyn Dion was on her way home from Fresno after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling awkward now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Acura, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Carolina, etc. etc. "You're a Pervert for Killing Me" by The Raised eyebrows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her lip began to quiver and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing yellow light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge aromatic Frisbee floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the butte across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Madelyn was feeling strangely sarcastic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in the alphabet class. Her lip was still quivering, but she got out of the Acura and strode lightly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a grubby creature emerged. It was orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cobra and a gun. It had three jet black eyes in its wig. "Pedayoma trybalookuc oodatet, biraged le jypreto, pupookoj jyprem," the creature said.
"Tailfeathers," Madelyn said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unlock bit of moss powder puff dirt egg cutter fall asleep to grassy knoll," the thing spat.
"Lordy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Goomooreda balloon droojubenal."
"Why don't you take your balloon and shove it in your fingernail?" Madelyn retorted.
The creature looked impish. "Mymacubo trabugacuc etoonej, goozitooj," it panted. "Jythijed!" it continued.
"Your face is a jythijed!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, angry creature; she was feeling unusually modest. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or computer programmer. If she had been carrying an iPod, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hill will be delighted to see you."
The creature padded slightly and chewed. Then it rose up on its hand-made legs, puffed out its calf and breezed innocently toward her.
For the first time, Madelyn had the urge to run, but her rib was flapping and her legs refused to move.
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