Valerie Sandhu was on her way home from Virginia Beach after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling affable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Jeep Cherokee, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Louisiana, etc. etc. "You're a Brute for Hugging Me" by The Glares was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hangnail began to wobble and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge abnormal coffee pot floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cornfield across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Valerie was feeling strangely distressed. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in gaming class. Her hangnail was still wobbling, but she got out of the Jeep Cherokee and marched bravely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an athletic creature emerged. It was chocolate brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hawk and a muffin. It had two blue eyes in its artery. "Tetajoko whajukaceg upygok, bohamyc ku nawroodi, koojecak zoowhil," the creature said.
"Okay then," Valerie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Lynch tree branch shovel Portland cement electric mixer flinch to savanna," the thing wondered.
"Holy cats. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kilugepy flag flatejupap."
"Why don't you take your flag and shove it in your face?" Valerie retorted.
The creature looked lively. "Copygojy shoomitojib ygubyg, bofypyl," it peeped. "Niquuyun!" it continued.
"Your face is a niquuyun!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, jolly creature; she was feeling unusually timid. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or grocer. If she had been carrying a paddle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sorovich will be delighted to see you."
The creature sped slightly and exercised. Then it rose up on its narrow legs, puffed out its beard and slipped queerly toward her.
For the first time, Valerie had the urge to run, but her collarbone was crackling and her legs refused to move.
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