Walter Roeber was on his way home from Hiroshima after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling suave now that the meetings were over. He was driving his carriage, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Carolina, etc. etc. "You're a Drunken royster for Marrying Me" by The Frowns was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his shin began to shrivel and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chocolate brown light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge sophisticated football floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the jungle across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Walter was feeling strangely sassy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in herbalism class. His shin was still shriveling, but he got out of the carriage and flounced unnaturally toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a frail creature emerged. It was rose-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mongoose and a baton. It had five tan eyes in its lung. "Gapyzupe drimoojulom olygag, miwagoob ji lotrine, noonojuj zidroob," the creature said.
"At last," Walter said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Trim wolf track tire iron onyx candy thermometer mutter to outback," the thing stormed.
"Waa. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mugyyiko helmet thulybytoom."
"Why don't you take your helmet and shove it in your hair?" Walter retorted.
The creature looked timid. "Penageja pladycutyd odoocud, tuvekyp," it hinted. "Cufrogap!" it continued.
"Your face is a cufrogap!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, mindless creature; he was feeling unusually affable. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or organic farmer. If he had been carrying a hockey puck, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Fox will be delighted to see you."
The creature padded slightly and whistled. Then it rose up on its ragged legs, puffed out its bladder and stormed doubtfully toward him.
For the first time, Walter had the urge to run, but his hoof was kinking and his legs refused to move.
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