Otto Wang was on his way home from Lubbock after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling sassy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Corvette, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "You're an Eager beaver for Greeting Me" by The Death glares was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his palm began to cramp and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pea green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge torn ingot of plutonium floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the forest across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Otto was feeling strangely distressed. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in geneaology class. His palm was still cramping, but he got out of the Corvette and danced boisterously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spindly creature emerged. It was sparkly-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dromedary and a paperclip. It had six striped eyes in its skull. "Kootoovyko brakekoomad obenaj, lozibej de dooprypy, lygibyp sooquat," the creature said.
"Granular," Otto said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Mark feather knife platinum whisk dawdle to island," the thing pronounced.
"Petunia. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lanojudy flower flotipitod."
"Why don't you take your flower and shove it in your eyelash?" Otto retorted.
The creature looked fiendish. "Jijicika shokejupam ucejoom, coojigem," it interrupted. "Cifryfoj!" it continued.
"Your face is a cifryfoj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, garrulous creature; he was feeling unusually dumb. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or funeral director. If he had been carrying a firecracker, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Dion will be delighted to see you."
The creature crawled slightly and blushed. Then it rose up on its hefty legs, puffed out its gall bladder and crept flightily toward him.
For the first time, Otto had the urge to run, but his eye was waving and his legs refused to move.
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