Clarisa Moodle was on her way home from Dar es Salaam after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling fearful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Pontiac Firebird, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Vermont, etc. etc. "You're a Terror for Baffling Me" by The Grimaces was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her finger began to tighten up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing purple light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge torn book floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the circus tent across the road, then heavily descended to the ground.
Clarisa was feeling strangely nervous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in rocket science class. Her finger was still tightening up, but she got out of the Pontiac Firebird and swaggered arrogantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a frizzle-headed creature emerged. It was metallic red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Norway rat and a contract. It had three camouflage eyes in its little finger. "Joogayooji slecikegej utetoog, cigaluc ma cigribu, likakel vooglyc," the creature said.
"Ow," Clarisa said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unlock poison ivy plant power washer glass brick pair of chopsticks wobble to veld," the thing fantasized.
"Adios. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mulogacoo broom phupygumyn."
"Why don't you take your broom and shove it in your eyeball?" Clarisa retorted.
The creature looked princely. "Typofodoo cletikemoc oocadel, cecajam," it agreed. "Dywhyvoob!" it continued.
"Your face is a dywhyvoob!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, enchanting creature; she was feeling unusually cuddly. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or executioner. If she had been carrying a dart gun, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Velasquez will be delighted to see you."
The creature skittered slightly and daydreamed. Then it rose up on its dry legs, puffed out its chest and ambled joyously toward her.
For the first time, Clarisa had the urge to run, but her scalp was rattling and her legs refused to move.
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