Roberta Thurman was on her way home from Las Vegas after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling calm now that the meetings were over. She was driving her limousine, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "I'm a Lubberly lout for Burying You" by The Sniffs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her pituitary gland began to feel numb and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge flexible pair of dice floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hillside across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
Roberta was feeling strangely sassy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in deportment class. Her pituitary gland was still feeling numb, but she got out of the limousine and jumped ruefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pimply creature emerged. It was indigo-ish in color and looked like a cross between an elephant and a compass. It had six scarlet eyes in its abdomen. "Cykyjega thigykijug ibagak, mugootog ke nuplimu, gucujak fikrip," the creature said.
"Boy howdy," Roberta said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bake bear track file nylon knife leer to meadow," the thing taunted.
"Unreal. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Libogala air compressor glypenadool."
"Why don't you take your air compressor and shove it in your Adam's apple?" Roberta retorted.
The creature looked bubbly. "Palyvita clagubugak itygek, doosupool," it acknowledged. "Leghuwib!" it continued.
"Your face is a leghuwib!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, gargantuan creature; she was feeling unusually brave. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or sailor. If she had been carrying a parlor trick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Briggs will be delighted to see you."
The creature inched slightly and rolled. Then it rose up on its rare legs, puffed out its abdomen and whirled suavely toward her.
For the first time, Roberta had the urge to run, but her nostril was roasting and her legs refused to move.
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