Sharon Richards was on her way home from Dayton after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sober now that the meetings were over. She was driving her rocket pack, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Massachusetts, etc. etc. "I'm a Loon for Stumping You" by The Sneezes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her larynx began to look strange and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge magnificent button floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dump across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Sharon was feeling strangely irate. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in painting class. Her larynx was still looking strange, but she got out of the rocket pack and waltzed reluctantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a curvy creature emerged. It was peach-ish in color and looked like a cross between a fawn and a plaque. It had eight teal eyes in its aorta. "Timizame thodicykoon oodylag, cooyutyn ga luflaka, gootynun zuplok," the creature said.
"Golly," Sharon said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Blacken badger hole heat gun chewing gum sharp knife puff to lagoon," the thing squealed.
"Totally rad. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kigicale flashlight troonilijooc."
"Why don't you take your flashlight and shove it in your eyelash?" Sharon retorted.
The creature looked apoplectic. "Konoyege slelinenom ocookul, gicamood," it emphasized. "Poowhegun!" it continued.
"Your face is a poowhegun!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, bold creature; she was feeling unusually amiable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or court jester. If she had been carrying an axe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sartre will be delighted to see you."
The creature clambered slightly and died. Then it rose up on its woven legs, puffed out its eyebrow and tumbled later toward her.
For the first time, Sharon had the urge to run, but her neck was exploding and her legs refused to move.
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