Flash O'Brien was on his way home from Porto Alegre after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling queer now that the meetings were over. He was driving his UPS truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "You're a Fink for Lying to Me" by The Fist bumps was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his wrist began to rumble and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aquamarine light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge big cream puff floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountain across the road, then fleetly descended to the ground.
Flash was feeling strangely somber. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in zoology class. His wrist was still rumbling, but he got out of the UPS truck and climbed deliberately toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an olive creature emerged. It was lime-green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a musk-ox and a candle. It had eight sparkly eyes in its bicep. "Jajecujoo gralutybol egagoom, dehetoc ta goochaci, notooboj vaslok," the creature said.
"Please," Flash said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Engrave leaf laser beam papyrus bare foot kneel to lakeside," the thing reasoned.
"Wowsers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Negewico hip flask frimebobek."
"Why don't you take your hip flask and shove it in your skin?" Flash retorted.
The creature looked smart. "Tonuhoody clyjyjybak ycabum, cooyibob," it opined. "Gubruvoom!" it continued.
"Your face is a gubruvoom!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, crafty creature; he was feeling unusually sober. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or page. If he had been carrying a six-pack, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Vickers will be delighted to see you."
The creature flounced slightly and looked angry. Then it rose up on its ridiculous legs, puffed out its knuckle and sidled frenetically toward him.
For the first time, Flash had the urge to run, but his hair was bunching up and his legs refused to move.
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