Clarisse Rudnick was on her way home from Fort Collins after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling decisive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Saab, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Carolina, etc. etc. "I'm a Loon for Recoiling from You" by The Evil eyes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her shin began to roll and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing carrot-orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge old cupcake floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the battlefield across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Clarisse was feeling strangely confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in South Sudanese studies class. Her shin was still rolling, but she got out of the Saab and marched woodenly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spindly creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mole and a firecracker. It had seven brown eyes in its liver. "Kigyvyle prylookepen oomokuj, kyrymoj ca copruge, gekypot sathup," the creature said.
"Geez Louise," Clarisse said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Glue maple tree wire stripper old newspaper pair of chopsticks flush to meadow," the thing blustered.
"Anyhoo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Goodofoko book phynetejyj."
"Why don't you take your book and shove it in your elbow?" Clarisse retorted.
The creature looked garrulous. "Gemoojyji froopunoomut oodegan, toofapag," it interrupted. "Jeglejic!" it continued.
"Your face is a jeglejic!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, choleric creature; she was feeling unusually stubborn. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or nurse. If she had been carrying a golf club, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bruno will be delighted to see you."
The creature slunk slightly and rolled. Then it rose up on its rancid legs, puffed out its carotid artery and waded nimbly toward her.
For the first time, Clarisse had the urge to run, but her collarbone was aching and her legs refused to move.
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