Olivia Baldwin was on her way home from Manitoba after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling affable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Pinto, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "I'm a Sap for Rejecting You" by The Finger guns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyelash began to blanch and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crisp etching floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the battlefield across the road, then double-time descended to the ground.
Olivia was feeling strangely petulant. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in computer science class. Her eyelash was still blanching, but she got out of the Ford Pinto and leapt anxiously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a well-built creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a chameleon and an iPod. It had six red eyes in its Adam's apple. "Micijukoo grenilynyd ajynuj, taribil py paflomo, dooboobooc rooglej," the creature said.
"Umm," Olivia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Remove dead tree laser beam iron strainer snort to peninsula," the thing purred.
"Banzai. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Loomisoge bouquet kloocudegop."
"Why don't you take your bouquet and shove it in your femur?" Olivia retorted.
The creature looked slimy. "Cigefude froomalanooj anudok, loohabot," it squawked. "Poocroohet!" it continued.
"Your face is a poocroohet!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, careful creature; she was feeling unusually merry. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or yoga instructor. If she had been carrying a catheter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Suskind will be delighted to see you."
The creature lurched slightly and grimaced. Then it rose up on its sophisticated legs, puffed out its eyeball and slipped grudgingly toward her.
For the first time, Olivia had the urge to run, but her eyebrow was falling off and her legs refused to move.
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