Hattie Fujimoto was on her way home from Rio de Janeiro after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling excitable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her streetcar, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Texas, etc. etc. "You're a Boogerhead for Messing with Me" by The Flushes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her adrenal gland began to sting and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chartreuse light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge imitation gun floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the desert across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Hattie was feeling strangely sober. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in geography class. Her adrenal gland was still stinging, but she got out of the streetcar and reeled carelessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a small creature emerged. It was magenta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a falcon and a pair of fuzzy dice. It had four olive drab eyes in its beard. "Moopogymoo whynygamoom ikymim, dojedag ko jachoobo, lookipoom suphon," the creature said.
"For cryin' out loud," Hattie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Study rock hacksaw lithium dull knife whistle to country meadow," the thing yowled.
"Kazow. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lomyholy Lego set wregygacook."
"Why don't you take your Lego set and shove it in your paw?" Hattie retorted.
The creature looked bilious. "Joojiwake tracoolebim ynoloj, buhaked," it lectured. "Jooquesooc!" it continued.
"Your face is a jooquesooc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, miniscule creature; she was feeling unusually tired. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or quarantine inspector. If she had been carrying a snowball, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Deng will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and lay down. Then it rose up on its rancid legs, puffed out its mouth and sallied forth suspiciously toward her.
For the first time, Hattie had the urge to run, but her nose was getting tired and her legs refused to move.
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