Chelsea Cramer was on her way home from Cincinnati after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling frantic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Volt, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "You're a Boogerhead for Mesmerizing Me" by The Roars was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her tongue began to roll and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing purple light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fuzzy hacksaw floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the outback across the road, then promptly descended to the ground.
Chelsea was feeling strangely desperate. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in philosophy class. Her tongue was still rolling, but she got out of the Chevy Volt and sped flightily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a scraggly creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a buzzard and a daisy. It had three polka dotted eyes in its front tooth. "Jacuseloo shuguconik ycokyk, bugoneb du dowhijy, lyjikeg wooklip," the creature said.
"Oh my word," Chelsea said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Cut fallen tree knife buffalo hide whisk flail to gully," the thing inquired.
"You don't say. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lootuvyji flashlight flopecokeg."
"Why don't you take your flashlight and shove it in your face?" Chelsea retorted.
The creature looked dark. "Ketecude klomimimeg ycooned, misenac," it squeaked. "Doshucab!" it continued.
"Your face is a doshucab!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, pigeon-toed creature; she was feeling unusually drowsy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or pilot. If she had been carrying a peacemaker, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McBride will be delighted to see you."
The creature scurried slightly and burbled. Then it rose up on its imported legs, puffed out its spinal cord and waddled slyly toward her.
For the first time, Chelsea had the urge to run, but her toe was breaking off and her legs refused to move.
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