Cynthia Baldwin was on her way home from Orlando after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling somber now that the meetings were over. She was driving her ATV, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "You're a Dirty rat for Dancing with Me" by The Hoots was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her pituitary gland began to blossom and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing beige light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge burned can of soup floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dump across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Cynthia was feeling strangely self-confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in gaming class. Her pituitary gland was still blossoming, but she got out of the ATV and sped nicely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a wizened creature emerged. It was indigo-ish in color and looked like a cross between a duck-billed platypus and a ticket. It had two navy blue eyes in its tail. "Cipirunu slitookobood akupam, mogatob ny noophyly, melijoon joosloj," the creature said.
"Gesundheit," Cynthia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Identify egg shell saw cinder block oven mitt holler to seashore," the thing stammered.
"Gads. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Topawybo salt shaker glidabutyt."
"Why don't you take your salt shaker and shove it in your shin?" Cynthia retorted.
The creature looked smart. "Legyzepe brumicydut apadyj, jyzajam," it griped. "Catravag!" it continued.
"Your face is a catravag!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, phlegmatic creature; she was feeling unusually forgetful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or secretary. If she had been carrying a poison dart, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Riley will be delighted to see you."
The creature trotted slightly and rolled. Then it rose up on its camouflage legs, puffed out its nose and bolted violently toward her.
For the first time, Cynthia had the urge to run, but her spleen was trembling and her legs refused to move.
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