Denise Cox was on her way home from San Bernardino after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling thoughtful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Oldsmobile Cutlass, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Massachusetts, etc. etc. "I'm a Snoop for Dreaming about You" by The Snorts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her calf began to exfoliate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing white light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gooey artificial flower floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountaintop across the road, then screamingly descended to the ground.
Denise was feeling strangely thoughtful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in botany class. Her calf was still exfoliating, but she got out of the Oldsmobile Cutlass and tumbled blindly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an obese creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between a flamingo and a cork. It had seven jet black eyes in its tail. "Mukoojooja wrigonoodyt omajon, livalig be nawryli, motinij fephim," the creature said.
"Sacre bleu," Denise said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Control seed pod nail clipper sandstone potato peeler think to countryside," the thing cackled.
"Pish posh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Molicydi doll flynolupej."
"Why don't you take your doll and shove it in your lung?" Denise retorted.
The creature looked unruffled. "Noonoofoby phubatypum ookycym, befitoc," it simpered. "Tykrewyt!" it continued.
"Your face is a tykrewyt!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sensible creature; she was feeling unusually resolute. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or house spouse. If she had been carrying a brick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Garston will be delighted to see you."
The creature went slightly and vegetated. Then it rose up on its fresh legs, puffed out its paw and galloped glumly toward her.
For the first time, Denise had the urge to run, but her head was wobbling and her legs refused to move.
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