Liz Bundy was on her way home from New Orleans after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling queer now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagen Passat, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Crackpot for Marrying Me" by The Gurgles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her scalp began to twirl and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge frilly water bottle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the meadow across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Liz was feeling strangely modest. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Greek class. Her scalp was still twirling, but she got out of the Volkswagen Passat and swaggered reluctantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a flabby creature emerged. It was burgundy-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ox and a telephone book. It had five carrot-orange eyes in its horn. "Dinuceti quudilunid ubynig, mywybooc ja deghika, culeluc vyshom," the creature said.
"Shucks," Liz said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Clean mushroom broom rolled oat cookie cutter rock to stream," the thing warbled.
"Aha. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tinugyte flyswatter chinokogyb."
"Why don't you take your flyswatter and shove it in your thumb?" Liz retorted.
The creature looked dignified. "Koojavage prujucekym ucolec, kuzynooj," it nattered. "Dislovip!" it continued.
"Your face is a dislovip!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, statuesque creature; she was feeling unusually stubborn. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or surgeon. If she had been carrying a lifesaver, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Diaz will be delighted to see you."
The creature lurched slightly and bounced. Then it rose up on its polished legs, puffed out its pancreas and slunk tearfully toward her.
For the first time, Liz had the urge to run, but her pancreas was dropping off and her legs refused to move.
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