Terence Katz was on his way home from Boise after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling ambitious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his buggy, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "I'm a Bully for Picking You" by The Raspberries was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his spinal cord began to droop and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing hot pink light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge decrepit dart floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the range across the road, then promptly descended to the ground.
Terence was feeling strangely cruel. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in carpentry class. His spinal cord was still drooping, but he got out of the buggy and tramped vacantly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bony creature emerged. It was magenta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mole and a sea shell. It had five khaki eyes in its hair. "Nyliraco plagoopidap edyton, moojocyg da ticloomoo, kibootool wooquab," the creature said.
"Ahoy," Terence said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Forget flower compass Bakelite whisk pass out to path," the thing analyzed.
"When pigs fly. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dybooyymy umbrella druketudyg."
"Why don't you take your umbrella and shove it in your paw?" Terence retorted.
The creature looked poised. "Pootugybo dronydecek atubeb, tuyootan," it interrupted. "Pifrawop!" it continued.
"Your face is a pifrawop!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, lanky creature; he was feeling unusually funny. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or secretary. If he had been carrying a pistol, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Harris will be delighted to see you."
The creature sprinted slightly and knitted. Then it rose up on its authentic legs, puffed out its thumb and staggered sharply toward him.
For the first time, Terence had the urge to run, but his pride was aggravating and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter