Candi Sekora was on her way home from Oceanside after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling furious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagon Beetle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "I'm a Ruffian for Singing to You" by The Cheers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her esophagus began to float and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive drab light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge multicolored saddle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassland across the road, then leadenly descended to the ground.
Candi was feeling strangely maniacal. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in subtraction class. Her esophagus was still floating, but she got out of the Volkswagon Beetle and slipped again toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a heavyset creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ass and an abacus. It had two aquamarine eyes in its funny bone. "Begooyamo plodomudac alydul, difytoon bo miplaco, lidycol hiwrap," the creature said.
"Retch," Candi said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bathe weed nail gun sheet metal cheesecloth squint to plain," the thing affirmed.
"Thunderation. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cybywucoo stuffed owl prootoomapym."
"Why don't you take your stuffed owl and shove it in your abdomen?" Candi retorted.
The creature looked amiable. "Bykesumo prajoboodim egubun, guhamoob," it pointed out. "Geprovel!" it continued.
"Your face is a geprovel!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, radiant creature; she was feeling unusually cunning. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or harpist. If she had been carrying a bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Childress will be delighted to see you."
The creature swung slightly and chattered. Then it rose up on its crooked legs, puffed out its eye and blundered anxiously toward her.
For the first time, Candi had the urge to run, but her hoof was popping and her legs refused to move.
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