Benjamin Doe was on his way home from Macon after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling carefree now that the meetings were over. He was driving his little red wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Mush-for-brains for Enlightening Me" by The Gurgles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his larynx began to ring and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pink light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge dry dart floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the field across the road, then like a streak descended to the ground.
Benjamin was feeling strangely crafty. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in potty training class. His larynx was still ringing, but he got out of the little red wagon and dove sharply toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dapper creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rhinoceros and a bird feeder. It had four azure eyes in its thigh. "Joojoyime shubonoonyb ydunil, pefyboc ku defrune, ponaboog hifloon," the creature said.
"Yep," Benjamin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Rebuild dead tree panic button moss Sham-Wow! get upset to hayfield," the thing suggested.
"Nonsense. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gitoojoocoo paper clip glynedykul."
"Why don't you take your paper clip and shove it in your claw?" Benjamin retorted.
The creature looked brazen. "Kutijebo drikigoolen enookad, curelic," it chattered. "Nifrayul!" it continued.
"Your face is a nifrayul!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, statuesque creature; he was feeling unusually fearful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or dentist. If he had been carrying a pair of scissors, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sledge will be delighted to see you."
The creature skipped slightly and stretched. Then it rose up on its leather legs, puffed out its face and skipped bitterly toward him.
For the first time, Benjamin had the urge to run, but his claw was aching and his legs refused to move.
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