Eubie Quintero was on his way home from Lancaster after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling shy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his wheelchair, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "You're a Pansy for Confusing Me" by The Shivers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his thigh began to explode and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge greasy orchid floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassy knoll across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Eubie was feeling strangely maniacal. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in deportment class. His thigh was still exploding, but he got out of the wheelchair and flew shakily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a flabby creature emerged. It was turquoise-ish in color and looked like a cross between a muskrat and a pail. It had three carrot-orange eyes in its thyroid gland. "Geloowige whoodejejin ubegin, mesideb ty tyklepy, motimik zagroog," the creature said.
"Wild," Eubie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Decorate tree stump nail gun starch melon baller chatter to buffalo wallow," the thing argued.
"Zowie. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Noodowoojy toilet plunger chumininoc."
"Why don't you take your toilet plunger and shove it in your knee?" Eubie retorted.
The creature looked ambitious. "Jydoyude frakededam opoopyb, desogok," it amended. "Laflifop!" it continued.
"Your face is a laflifop!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, enchanting creature; he was feeling unusually funny. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or stockbroker. If he had been carrying a candlestick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gentry will be delighted to see you."
The creature set out slightly and bounced. Then it rose up on its gross legs, puffed out its hair and sidled sympathetically toward him.
For the first time, Eubie had the urge to run, but his eyeball was loosening up and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter