Heather Pierce was on her way home from Fontana after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling awkward now that the meetings were over. She was driving her UPS truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Monster for Overlooking Me" by The Pound of the chests was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her calf began to widen and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing fuchsia light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge damp pickle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hillside across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
Heather was feeling strangely tense. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in veterinary medicine class. Her calf was still widening, but she got out of the UPS truck and galumphed carefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slender creature emerged. It was jet black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mountain goat and a doily. It had eight silver eyes in its toe. "Dotejyme dropacagyg ybubud, jirilid ja nughoodoo, tudedoc cuwhic," the creature said.
"Chirp," Heather said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Flush stone axe linen ice pick quiver to rainforest," the thing decided.
"Horse feathers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nokysale notebook graloolanon."
"Why don't you take your notebook and shove it in your back?" Heather retorted.
The creature looked forgetful. "Lenazali chynijidoom atobooc, cucijib," it barked. "Kosheyed!" it continued.
"Your face is a kosheyed!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, bilious creature; she was feeling unusually excitable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or rabbi. If she had been carrying a bottle of Tabasco Sauce, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Carson will be delighted to see you."
The creature rolled slightly and groaned. Then it rose up on its brittle legs, puffed out its pinky and darted properly toward her.
For the first time, Heather had the urge to run, but her hair was flaking off and her legs refused to move.
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