Janet Diaz was on her way home from Davenport after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling selfish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Saturn, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "I'm a Slug for Reassuring You" by The Flushes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her ear began to turn around and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge handy file folder floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountainside across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Janet was feeling strangely dapper. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in drama class. Her ear was still turning around, but she got out of the Saturn and rolled sorrowfully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a good looking creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tapeworm and a houseplant. It had six jet black eyes in its horn. "Gegivanoo shutootakek ibojib, cafecooj my gidroke, gybukit voslab," the creature said.
"Just a minute," Janet said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Inspect tree stump monkey wrench old rag food processor grumble to mountaintop," the thing hinted.
"Puppy biscuits. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kokoozegu lollipop shopymubop."
"Why don't you take your lollipop and shove it in your little toe?" Janet retorted.
The creature looked melancholic. "Dukyfynoo bripynydak ecoogyt, poroopym," it continued. "Nitrasoob!" it continued.
"Your face is a nitrasoob!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, enthusiastic creature; she was feeling unusually puzzled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bank robber. If she had been carrying a Taser, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Walters will be delighted to see you."
The creature slipped slightly and sniffled. Then it rose up on its valuable legs, puffed out its horn and galumphed merrily toward her.
For the first time, Janet had the urge to run, but her femur was getting wonky and her legs refused to move.
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