Marv Bennett was on his way home from Florence after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling sober now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Aston Martin, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Indiana, etc. etc. "I'm a Stooge for Leading You" by The Cackles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his toenail began to flare up and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing yellow light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge multicolored Van Gogh floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the canyon across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Marv was feeling strangely tired. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in home economics class. His toenail was still flaring up, but he got out of the Aston Martin and zipped later toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a suave creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a duck and a napkin. It had four black eyes in its Adam's apple. "Jyjawooju kratibekyg ikoojik, mevykup ce nuplobu, gujodyg jikrop," the creature said.
"Get out," Marv said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Loosen flower blow torch bronze chopstick clear out to landfill," the thing sighed.
"Bingo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Migizana backpack flakimupooj."
"Why don't you take your backpack and shove it in your Adam's apple?" Marv retorted.
The creature looked lazy. "Nibuhooji kropogumul ujyjook, nyzibooj," it accused. "Duwhecyj!" it continued.
"Your face is a duwhecyj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, impish creature; he was feeling unusually relaxed. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or taxi driver. If he had been carrying a blow pipe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Zmarzly will be delighted to see you."
The creature slumped slightly and went limp. Then it rose up on its ridiculous legs, puffed out its horn and flounced sleepily toward him.
For the first time, Marv had the urge to run, but his horn was tingling and his legs refused to move.
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