Ana Wheeler was on her way home from Frankfurt after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sober now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Hyundai Elantra, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "I'm a Sap for Splitting up with You" by The Puckers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her shin began to hang and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing tan light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ruined doll floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the oasis across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Ana was feeling strangely tired. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in deportment class. Her shin was still hanging, but she got out of the Hyundai Elantra and slid automatically toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a nervous creature emerged. It was turquoise-ish in color and looked like a cross between a monster and a screwdriver. It had two magenta eyes in its back. "Cucyfida droonebumyg ooboocag, nesookut too gowhice, lupitel roowhooc," the creature said.
"Cock-a-doodle-doo," Ana said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Understand tree stump heat gun Elmer's glue fork meditate to island," the thing squawked.
"Woops. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cejigico can of beer groogemulyl."
"Why don't you take your can of beer and shove it in your fingernail?" Ana retorted.
The creature looked puzzled. "Mudaroly brijobugyp aboomab, jizibel," it shouted. "Nakloosyp!" it continued.
"Your face is a nakloosyp!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, beautiful creature; she was feeling unusually awkward. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or chemist. If she had been carrying an épée, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Moretti will be delighted to see you."
The creature climbed slightly and played Duck Duck Goose. Then it rose up on its filthy legs, puffed out its intestine and blundered pitifully toward her.
For the first time, Ana had the urge to run, but her pituitary gland was twisting and her legs refused to move.
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