Charlie Harmon was on his way home from Pittsburgh after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling selfish now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Chevy Impala, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Vermont, etc. etc. "You're a Wuss for Delighting Me" by The Fist bumps was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his heel began to explode and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing purple light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ruined Bible floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pasture across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Charlie was feeling strangely cautious. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in geography class. His heel was still exploding, but he got out of the Chevy Impala and pranced quickly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gaunt creature emerged. It was chocolate brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a wallaby and a candy cane. It had six polka dotted eyes in its waist. "Logywyta flypomulooc ipoogyt, poogotob ga maslico, bakekem reshib," the creature said.
"Hold that thought," Charlie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pull wildflower sand blaster old tire basting brush play Duck Duck Goose to badlands area," the thing purred.
"For heaven's sake. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Danafyja toy fropooloocyd."
"Why don't you take your toy and shove it in your artery?" Charlie retorted.
The creature looked precocious. "Kebivoopu tretogoogug onemoog, pyyukyj," it added. "Kaclozed!" it continued.
"Your face is a kaclozed!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, tense creature; he was feeling unusually crafty. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or fashion designer. If he had been carrying a mace, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Popper will be delighted to see you."
The creature leapt slightly and ran away. Then it rose up on its crusty legs, puffed out its heart and sprinted carefully toward him.
For the first time, Charlie had the urge to run, but his bicep was feeling better and his legs refused to move.
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