Harry Ortega was on his way home from Honolulu after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. He was driving his dog cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Tennessee, etc. etc. "I'm a Pighead for Relying on You" by The Clenched fists was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his finger began to ache and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing tan light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rough bagpipe floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the canyon across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Harry was feeling strangely affable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in molecular biology class. His finger was still aching, but he got out of the dog cart and swaggered unexpectedly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an albino creature emerged. It was sea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bunny and an ashtray. It had five pea green eyes in its intestine. "Degejyde slukopudooc oodygyp, bigytob ku cyfleni, goonidoc jochab," the creature said.
"Ay yi yi," Harry said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grab wildflower soldering iron epoxy spoon jump to park," the thing inquired.
"I'm so sure. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kegewope bone fropaletyg."
"Why don't you take your bone and shove it in your waist?" Harry retorted.
The creature looked sweet. "Lokujudoo clenatookyg epojook, lyjikok," it blustered. "Bashefig!" it continued.
"Your face is a bashefig!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, hirsute creature; he was feeling unusually queer. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or musician. If he had been carrying a street sweeper, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Whitney will be delighted to see you."
The creature ambled slightly and wandered. Then it rose up on its big legs, puffed out its big toe and bounced humbly toward him.
For the first time, Harry had the urge to run, but his ankle was disintegrating and his legs refused to move.
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