Martin Merton was on his way home from Porto Alegre after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling somber now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Kia, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virginia, etc. etc. "I'm a Bumpkin for Outrunning You" by The Smirks was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his toenail began to turn black and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lavender light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge abnormal pearl floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the beach across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Martin was feeling strangely thoughtful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in meteorology class. His toenail was still turning black, but he got out of the Kia and sidled crazily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plain creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a kangaroo and a bullet. It had seven periwinkle eyes in its buttocks. "Togaheki troodicyjaj obobeg, cujicig mo keslobo, cedudyl zogruj," the creature said.
"Yes," Martin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Scuff flower soldering iron manure melon baller expectorate to trail," the thing worried.
"I'm sure. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bepewyca pom-pom grepumacon."
"Why don't you take your pom-pom and shove it in your ankle?" Martin retorted.
The creature looked princely. "Kakowoomy plebubekal icimooj, burijyb," it opined. "Kuklovum!" it continued.
"Your face is a kuklovum!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, brave creature; he was feeling unusually self-confident. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or groundskeeper. If he had been carrying a battle axe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Shackleton will be delighted to see you."
The creature trekked slightly and snickered. Then it rose up on its polka-dotted legs, puffed out its mouth and leapt gratefully toward him.
For the first time, Martin had the urge to run, but his buttocks was waving and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter