Waldo Beach was on his way home from Mumbai after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling peckish now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Trans Am, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "I'm a Monster for Exposing You" by The Twitches was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his skull began to flutter and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing grey light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge nifty artificial flower floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hill across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
Waldo was feeling strangely cunning. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in theology class. His skull was still fluttering, but he got out of the Trans Am and slithered warily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a little creature emerged. It was periwinkle-ish in color and looked like a cross between a wolf and a chess set. It had seven white eyes in its heart. "Tajeroojy gloonocapum egojog, jesoopek ba cughype, kebucoc giglyg," the creature said.
"I'm outta here," Waldo said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Remember stick nail clipper taffeta electric paint mixer gaze to treetop," the thing rationalized.
"Ssss. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kikoceme piece of candy gloodakabel."
"Why don't you take your piece of candy and shove it in your palm?" Waldo retorted.
The creature looked amiable. "Nidufady chojapepap ogucop, kewupob," it ranted. "Lacliwoog!" it continued.
"Your face is a lacliwoog!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, taciturn creature; he was feeling unusually suave. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or phlebotomist. If he had been carrying a stash of bribe money, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Vargas will be delighted to see you."
The creature slunk slightly and sniffed. Then it rose up on its sophisticated legs, puffed out its collarbone and slunk unexpectedly toward him.
For the first time, Waldo had the urge to run, but his antenna was bending and his legs refused to move.
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