Adrian Friezbergen was on his way home from Sydney after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling sober now that the meetings were over. He was driving his GMC pickup, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Culprit for Quoting Me" by The Frowns was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his kneecap began to tremble and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge sophisticated vacuum cleaner floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the arroyo across the road, then speedily descended to the ground.
Adrian was feeling strangely modest. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in anatomy class. His kneecap was still trembling, but he got out of the GMC pickup and dove vigorously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an albino creature emerged. It was fuchsia-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mole and a magnet. It had seven blue eyes in its arm. "Danoyuci trykiduman ojugyl, cosatip ko buprade, kookagool cygram," the creature said.
"Kaboom," Adrian said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Twist leaf scythe dirt knife suffer to cesspool," the thing inquired.
"Ssss. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jypizuda box truloogykip."
"Why don't you take your box and shove it in your shoulder?" Adrian retorted.
The creature looked jaunty. "Koodoroto wroopeputep anamyc, niwabok," it decided. "Dawhacyt!" it continued.
"Your face is a dawhacyt!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, tactful creature; he was feeling unusually sassy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or waiter. If he had been carrying an insect repellant, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Friedman will be delighted to see you."
The creature sailed slightly and crouched. Then it rose up on its fuzzy legs, puffed out its little finger and scurried urgently toward him.
For the first time, Adrian had the urge to run, but his neck was bleeding and his legs refused to move.
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