Marjorie Salazar was on her way home from Modesto after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Jeep Cherokee, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Mexico, etc. etc. "I'm a Good-for-nothing for Pinning You" by The Death glares was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her gall bladder began to turn around and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge polka-dotted comb floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the beach across the road, then chop-chop descended to the ground.
Marjorie was feeling strangely dapper. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in journalism class. Her gall bladder was still turning around, but she got out of the Jeep Cherokee and sneaked gleefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a good looking creature emerged. It was yellow-ish in color and looked like a cross between a panda and a tote bag. It had four purple eyes in its foot. "Tumyzeta shocikocak ebukyd, cyvodel poo mithiky, numijam hyshol," the creature said.
"Shame," Marjorie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pluck rock garden hose wax paring knife yell to cliff," the thing bawled.
"Yummy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Danoozici roll of toilet paper troomepilool."
"Why don't you take your roll of toilet paper and shove it in your adrenal gland?" Marjorie retorted.
The creature looked wary. "Gootyhulu whominogod onutet, gugonyc," it winked. "Moothyjap!" it continued.
"Your face is a moothyjap!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, deadly creature; she was feeling unusually resolute. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or neurologist. If she had been carrying a Millwall brick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McDermott will be delighted to see you."
The creature whirled slightly and yelped. Then it rose up on its queer legs, puffed out its Adam's apple and sped needlessly toward her.
For the first time, Marjorie had the urge to run, but her rib was gleaming and her legs refused to move.
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