Queenie Onassis was on her way home from Abilene after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling hysterical now that the meetings were over. She was driving her rocket, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wyoming, etc. etc. "You're a Stinker for Belittling Me" by The Guffaws was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her thigh began to twirl and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing salmon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge striking pack of gum floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the marsh across the road, then briskly descended to the ground.
Queenie was feeling strangely amiable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in reading class. Her thigh was still twirling, but she got out of the rocket and reeled reluctantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a smallish creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a badger and a flyswatter. It had three emerald green eyes in its ear. "Doonejumoo plajyjepit oonynut, bacilyc me cuquedi, jabacym vooklut," the creature said.
"Crud," Queenie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Smell pine cone plumber's snake corncob pastry blender adjust to moonscape," the thing vouched.
"Loopers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mugojule watering can whelopokooc."
"Why don't you take your watering can and shove it in your shoulder?" Queenie retorted.
The creature looked awkward. "Bepigoopo clinomoobuk ubycyl, lugoomaj," it wondered. "Tuwrefep!" it continued.
"Your face is a tuwrefep!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sincere creature; she was feeling unusually pensive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or Egyptologist. If she had been carrying a dirk, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Barry will be delighted to see you."
The creature slumped slightly and lay down. Then it rose up on its rare legs, puffed out its big toe and tore fondly toward her.
For the first time, Queenie had the urge to run, but her cheek was burbling and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter