Luke Remington was on his way home from Moscow after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling decisive now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Dodge Ram, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "I'm a She-wolf for Patting You" by The Chuckles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his Adam's apple began to get wonky and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing black light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge miniature stapler floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the peninsula across the road, then busily descended to the ground.
Luke was feeling strangely thoughtful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in drama class. His Adam's apple was still getting wonky, but he got out of the Dodge Ram and capered innocently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dashing creature emerged. It was magenta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lobster and a paper towel. It had four brilliant orange eyes in its pancreas. "Myjefuty clejootegit aninob, logoojuj ju jydrookoo, nulikan zypleb," the creature said.
"Thanks for nothing," Luke said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Flatten tree jack sod pair of tongs glower to tundra," the thing yammered.
"Shazam. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kebecypi flyswatter fredukoomel."
"Why don't you take your flyswatter and shove it in your wrist?" Luke retorted.
The creature looked monstrous. "Bemygely dratagydac oodyput, jozegeg," it questioned. "Bucrugeb!" it continued.
"Your face is a bucrugeb!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, intrepid creature; he was feeling unusually resolute. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or oboist. If he had been carrying a broadsword, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Brown will be delighted to see you."
The creature stormed slightly and dawdled. Then it rose up on its fluffy legs, puffed out its scalp and sprinted fondly toward him.
For the first time, Luke had the urge to run, but his hip was going nuts and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter