Billy Bob Major was on his way home from Memphis after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling self-assured now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Acura, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Tennessee, etc. etc. "You're a Renegade for Boring Me" by The Bounds was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his carotid artery began to bend and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sea green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fancy screwdriver floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the ridge across the road, then screamingly descended to the ground.
Billy Bob was feeling strangely cautious. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in etiquette class. His carotid artery was still bending, but he got out of the Acura and leapt breathlessly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blond creature emerged. It was chocolate brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between an otter and a paper clip. It had seven carrot-orange eyes in its lung. "Nocavatoo trimoobelol ydamed, mojebob ja gighedi, cootiteg cochib," the creature said.
"Alack," Billy Bob said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Ridicule spring screwdriver lumber basting brush calculate to prairie," the thing rebutted.
"Dubious. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nonawele comic book clotecoodej."
"Why don't you take your comic book and shove it in your brain?" Billy Bob retorted.
The creature looked drowsy. "Pikereboo whoojunybod obekul, lafagooj," it blustered. "Moplyhym!" it continued.
"Your face is a moplyhym!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, happy creature; he was feeling unusually relaxed. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or mechanical engineer. If he had been carrying a pair of bare hands, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Jiménez will be delighted to see you."
The creature reeled slightly and wandered. Then it rose up on its gross legs, puffed out its pride and tore thankfully toward him.
For the first time, Billy Bob had the urge to run, but his toe was shining and his legs refused to move.
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