Sandra Zhao was on her way home from Austin after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling amiable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her dog cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "I'm a Dingleberry for Lying to You" by The Chortles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her earlobe began to relax and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge aromatic calling card floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plain across the road, then hurriedly descended to the ground.
Sandra was feeling strangely amiable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in public relations class. Her earlobe was still relaxing, but she got out of the dog cart and stalked obediently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a handsome creature emerged. It was jet black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lizard and an orange. It had eight fuchsia eyes in its little toe. "Mapayuly sledubetyn umokeb, jagoolet tu taflybi, menijad sechid," the creature said.
"My gosh," Sandra said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unwrap fallen tree wire brush pipe cleaner potato masher holler to garden," the thing declared.
"The joke's on me. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kinofagoo flashlight klytygimeb."
"Why don't you take your flashlight and shove it in your elbow?" Sandra retorted.
The creature looked petulant. "Kydohycy froolelenyt ygelyn, doozutic," it sighed. "Noogrecun!" it continued.
"Your face is a noogrecun!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, quiet creature; she was feeling unusually tipsy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or prisoner. If she had been carrying a rope, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Grover will be delighted to see you."
The creature marched slightly and swooned. Then it rose up on its crusty legs, puffed out its heart and flounced sweetly toward her.
For the first time, Sandra had the urge to run, but her nostril was burbling and her legs refused to move.
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