Claire Peters was on her way home from San Jose after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling muddled now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Volt, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Whippersnapper for Snuggling with Me" by The Evil eyes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her lung began to freak out and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aquamarine light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge brightly-colored pepper grinder floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the garden across the road, then like mad descended to the ground.
Claire was feeling strangely drowsy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in grassland management class. Her lung was still freaking out, but she got out of the Chevy Volt and careened diligently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a large creature emerged. It was jade-ish in color and looked like a cross between an iguana and a blanket. It had two chocolate brown eyes in its jaw. "Cooboriny shoocoodylog edynak, tejigod moo patramoo, nubupuc waqueb," the creature said.
"I'm so sure," Claire said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Recommend maple tree X-Acto knife old bone mixing spoon dress up to valley," the thing murmured.
"Shucks. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nacooweby hand puppet crucubunoob."
"Why don't you take your hand puppet and shove it in your femur?" Claire retorted.
The creature looked awkward. "Digejopo crukumoojok enoojal, berecoot," it mouthed. "Tukrusoop!" it continued.
"Your face is a tukrusoop!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, brash creature; she was feeling unusually cunning. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or shopkeeper. If she had been carrying a Taser, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sitting Bird will be delighted to see you."
The creature danced slightly and snorted. Then it rose up on its primitive legs, puffed out its mouth and bounced firmly toward her.
For the first time, Claire had the urge to run, but her knuckle was loosening up and her legs refused to move.
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