Mama Payne was on her way home from Savannah after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling hysterical now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Bolt, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "You're a Renegade for Spilling a cup of cocoa on Me" by The Bounds was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her tummy began to unwind and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing violet light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge slimy diamond bracelet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plain across the road, then sluggishly descended to the ground.
Mama was feeling strangely awkward. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in calculus class. Her tummy was still unwinding, but she got out of the Chevy Bolt and slid roughly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cadaverous creature emerged. It was violet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a newt and a necklace. It had eight aquamarine eyes in its horn. "Cikyrooju shonalidoop emagej, booyynob doo moopraty, gicucij yabrej," the creature said.
"Holy Mother of Petunias," Mama said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Wiggle leaf blow torch cookie dough paring knife shiver to bog," the thing giggled.
"Pish posh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Moocayydo floppy disk slelumikooc."
"Why don't you take your floppy disk and shove it in your lung?" Mama retorted.
The creature looked solitary. "Kymozookoo quoocegedug udimec, nycoocook," it blathered. "Modroowel!" it continued.
"Your face is a modroowel!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, zany creature; she was feeling unusually sarcastic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bootlegger. If she had been carrying a poison dart, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Stoker will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounded slightly and typed. Then it rose up on its dirty legs, puffed out its eyeball and traipsed hopefully toward her.
For the first time, Mama had the urge to run, but her eyelid was freaking out and her legs refused to move.
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