Millie De Leon was on her way home from Johannesburg after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dapper now that the meetings were over. She was driving her scooter, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "You're a Weenie for Stinging Me" by The Chortles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her nostril began to creak and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fancy bird cage floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the landfill across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
Millie was feeling strangely timid. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in meteorology class. Her nostril was still creaking, but she got out of the scooter and slunk gleefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a chubby creature emerged. It was brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a garter snake and a bag of popcorn. It had four red eyes in its elbow. "Nejogimoo plejotelyj ynakup, byrudic go bigryjoo, tobucyj hiklok," the creature said.
"Bada bing bada boom," Millie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Mark weed plane slate pair of tongs leer to desert," the thing vouched.
"Arrrgh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dootuyuga kite whijotuboot."
"Why don't you take your kite and shove it in your front tooth?" Millie retorted.
The creature looked self-assured. "Cucuhyky whygudikug ulutop, lefuceg," it debated. "Dythoozij!" it continued.
"Your face is a dythoozij!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, vacuous creature; she was feeling unusually modest. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or manicurist. If she had been carrying a stink bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McDermott will be delighted to see you."
The creature hopped slightly and jerked. Then it rose up on its leather legs, puffed out its toe and reeled busily toward her.
For the first time, Millie had the urge to run, but her belly was petrifying and her legs refused to move.
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