Russ Hopper was on his way home from Panama City after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling lazy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Kia, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Vermont, etc. etc. "You're a Goof for Mesmerizing Me" by The Cringes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his jaw began to pulsate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing salmon light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hand-carved fish floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the buffalo wallow across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Russ was feeling strangely resolute. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Egyptology class. His jaw was still pulsating, but he got out of the Kia and slithered demurely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a winsome creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gorilla and a compass. It had seven polka dotted eyes in its head. "Nijerali flytupunam ydunyp, lyjicok ky kokrepe, pybumag gosheg," the creature said.
"Yipes," Russ said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Reconsider dead tree bit of Elmer's glue bone pair of tongs breathe to creek," the thing panted.
"Like fun. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Ditagoopy can of soup klulootopyb."
"Why don't you take your can of soup and shove it in your belly?" Russ retorted.
The creature looked heavyset. "Myjegaja troodogoonec ootolooj, disoodic," it chortled. "Pequazyg!" it continued.
"Your face is a pequazyg!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, articulate creature; he was feeling unusually modest. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or rancher. If he had been carrying a baton, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Manley will be delighted to see you."
The creature inched slightly and swooned. Then it rose up on its ragged legs, puffed out its antenna and jogged accidentally toward him.
For the first time, Russ had the urge to run, but his knuckle was calcifying and his legs refused to move.
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