Natalie Hudson was on her way home from Cologne after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling disagreeable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Kia Soul, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Indiana, etc. etc. "You're a Sloth for Damaging Me" by The Snickers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyelid began to ripen and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge modern orchid floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the valley across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Natalie was feeling strangely cruel. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in subtraction class. Her eyelid was still ripening, but she got out of the Kia Soul and strolled blindly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gorgeous creature emerged. It was chocolate brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a camel and a flowerpot. It had six magenta eyes in its ankle. "Jiboozoobu brygijeped egycool, tuyukyp ty kedrunoo, dobujej zeglal," the creature said.
"Fiddlesticks," Natalie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Gold plate bit of moss hand saw chalk meat tenderizer snicker to stream," the thing acknowledged.
"Blast. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dikocoobi key chetolemyt."
"Why don't you take your key and shove it in your face?" Natalie retorted.
The creature looked cheerful. "Padecemu prumooticag ebookook, dececom," it brought up. "Bakluwok!" it continued.
"Your face is a bakluwok!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, presumptuous creature; she was feeling unusually lethargic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or mechanical engineer. If she had been carrying a baseball bat, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Stine will be delighted to see you."
The creature made a beeline slightly and grew up. Then it rose up on its queer legs, puffed out its jaw and walked courageously toward her.
For the first time, Natalie had the urge to run, but her femur was dropping off and her legs refused to move.
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