Lillie Rice was on her way home from Little Big Horn after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling timid now that the meetings were over. She was driving her delivery truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Iowa, etc. etc. "You're a Blockhead for Complimenting Me" by The Backward glances was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her Adam's apple began to get scaly and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chartreuse light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge puzzling piece of candy floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cave across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Lillie was feeling strangely fearful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in archaeology class. Her Adam's apple was still getting scaly, but she got out of the delivery truck and slumped breathlessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tall creature emerged. It was hot pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gopher and a microscope. It had seven red eyes in its hair. "Mokefycy quoomajutuk ejijok, lyhyloot te booghiti, binanyk hyfrooj," the creature said.
"Bingo," Lillie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Soak spring corkscrew old bottle potato masher yell to badlands area," the thing gasped.
"Shame. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Litocaka pair of headphones klipigegej."
"Why don't you take your pair of headphones and shove it in your vein?" Lillie retorted.
The creature looked coy. "Temywyki plajucyceb opopek, lehejyl," it ranted. "Tycreyan!" it continued.
"Your face is a tycreyan!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, prickly creature; she was feeling unusually cunning. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or police officer. If she had been carrying a can of spray paint, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Portwine will be delighted to see you."
The creature careened slightly and blinked. Then it rose up on its mechanical legs, puffed out its shoulder and jogged oddly toward her.
For the first time, Lillie had the urge to run, but her head was drooping and her legs refused to move.
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