Romeo Lundy was on his way home from Lubbock after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling muddled now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Rolls-Royce Phantom, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Mexico, etc. etc. "You're a Scoundrel for Cuddling Me" by The Snorts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his funny bone began to drop off and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing violet light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ragged rope floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the moonscape across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Romeo was feeling strangely daring. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in ciphering class. His funny bone was still dropping off, but he got out of the Rolls-Royce Phantom and marched sourly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a disheveled creature emerged. It was metallic red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a pigeon and a pearl. It had three lime-green eyes in its skull. "Poopoosekoo klimecekeg olebon, kozumooj du booflito, mipedaj gaship," the creature said.
"Alley oop," Romeo said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Submerse spring scrub brush sea shell egg cutter get away to meadow," the thing inquired.
"Voilà. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gukehyga bag of ice quacupakin."
"Why don't you take your bag of ice and shove it in your ankle?" Romeo retorted.
The creature looked humble. "Manozobe whubykydog apanoop, jawyduj," it purred. "Koocrawyb!" it continued.
"Your face is a koocrawyb!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, cruel creature; he was feeling unusually somber. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or rabbi. If he had been carrying a can of Raid, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hanks will be delighted to see you."
The creature slunk slightly and screamed. Then it rose up on its dry legs, puffed out its piehole and stormed offhandedly toward him.
For the first time, Romeo had the urge to run, but his eyeball was turning blue and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter