Lindsey Marsh was on her way home from Riverside after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling disagreeable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Studebaker, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "I'm a Simpleton for Looking at You" by The Growls was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her tail began to pulsate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aquamarine light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fabulous diagram floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the arroyo across the road, then deliberately descended to the ground.
Lindsey was feeling strangely suave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in astrology class. Her tail was still pulsating, but she got out of the Studebaker and pranced strangely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dinky creature emerged. It was amber-ish in color and looked like a cross between a worm and an egg shell. It had four olive drab eyes in its throat. "Popacygy froocibonuk edebal, byvydic ba japloopoo, tojooceb woophid," the creature said.
"You're kidding," Lindsey said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Gold plate cactus coping saw bronze sharp knife purr to steppe," the thing barked.
"Unreal. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nupyrome Bunsen burner whykukypid."
"Why don't you take your Bunsen burner and shove it in your heel?" Lindsey retorted.
The creature looked sincere. "Tooniwoojy klookydigig ugibag, jegobom," it chuckled. "Juchajan!" it continued.
"Your face is a juchajan!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, naïve creature; she was feeling unusually dapper. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or baker. If she had been carrying a disinfectant, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Lamb will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounded slightly and hiccuped. Then it rose up on its porcelain legs, puffed out its horn and careened curiously toward her.
For the first time, Lindsey had the urge to run, but her forehead was feeling weird and her legs refused to move.
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