Kami Chandler was on her way home from Saskatoon after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling peculiar now that the meetings were over. She was driving her snowmobile, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Colorado, etc. etc. "I'm a Prattling gabbler for Scaring You" by The Guffaws was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her elbow began to gurgle and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge luxurious paperweight floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the briar patch across the road, then like a streak descended to the ground.
Kami was feeling strangely proud. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in political science class. Her elbow was still gurgling, but she got out of the snowmobile and sidled bravely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cadaverous creature emerged. It was blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a coyote and a broom. It had eight white eyes in its collarbone. "Pecyrelo clucybumig ocanog, bagiluk bu kugrode, kugoopib hyshooj," the creature said.
"Avast," Kami said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Interpret maple tree powder puff plywood potato masher giggle to path," the thing quavered.
"Eww. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pylujimoo etching tratootomed."
"Why don't you take your etching and shove it in your shoulder?" Kami retorted.
The creature looked moody. "Dojoohamoo flunocidec ucecuk, kocukaj," it uttered. "Liglovyc!" it continued.
"Your face is a liglovyc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, high-strung creature; she was feeling unusually excitable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or silversmith. If she had been carrying an iPod, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Haddad will be delighted to see you."
The creature cantered slightly and moaned. Then it rose up on its immense legs, puffed out its vein and strode angrily toward her.
For the first time, Kami had the urge to run, but her chin was going numb and her legs refused to move.
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