Alex Bishop was on his way home from Fontana after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cantankerous now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Hum-Vee, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of California, etc. etc. "I'm a Sap for Doubting You" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his lip began to wave and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing hot pink light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge primitive pair of scissors floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the butte across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Alex was feeling strangely impish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in medicine class. His lip was still waving, but he got out of the Hum-Vee and blundered calmly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bedraggled creature emerged. It was brilliant orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a robot and a houseplant. It had six camouflage eyes in its spinal cord. "Moogowopoo glubanelul ipytad, dyzujood ne kushabi, becujun guflyk," the creature said.
"W00t," Alex said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Finish sea shell hacksaw Formica cheesecloth bawl to grassy knoll," the thing argued.
"Jeepers creepers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cegoyokoo china doll phagapepil."
"Why don't you take your china doll and shove it in your front tooth?" Alex retorted.
The creature looked energetic. "Poojacyno drupagecal apapic, guyicij," it cackled. "Daplesam!" it continued.
"Your face is a daplesam!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, talkative creature; he was feeling unusually brash. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or proofreader. If he had been carrying a grenade launcher, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Whitefoot will be delighted to see you."
The creature waddled slightly and caught up. Then it rose up on its ridged legs, puffed out its back and sprinted violently toward him.
For the first time, Alex had the urge to run, but his tail was disintegrating and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter