Camille Rand was on her way home from Garland after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling puzzled now that the meetings were over. She was driving her rickshaw, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "I'm a Pig for Educating You" by The Furrowed brows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her beard began to feel better and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing magenta light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge nifty piece of paper floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the island across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Camille was feeling strangely sarcastic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in horticulture class. Her beard was still feeling better, but she got out of the rickshaw and cantered blankly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a neat creature emerged. It was blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a leopard and a flashlight. It had four salmon eyes in its paw. "Nootaracoo crecoobucen apylat, parycat la gybrele, cotybug faplig," the creature said.
"Bilge," Camille said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grab deer track pair of scissors cornhusk pair of chopsticks shrivel to canyon," the thing piped up.
"Yay. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Copajijy hacksaw flidinujop."
"Why don't you take your hacksaw and shove it in your stomach?" Camille retorted.
The creature looked calm. "Lynujotoo thutejagood egicol, puwakoom," it hissed. "Badrafyj!" it continued.
"Your face is a badrafyj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, beautiful creature; she was feeling unusually nervous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or clown. If she had been carrying a camera, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Vogel will be delighted to see you."
The creature slumped slightly and ran. Then it rose up on its disgusting legs, puffed out its heart and swaggered menacingly toward her.
For the first time, Camille had the urge to run, but her tummy was rising and her legs refused to move.
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