Brianna McBride was on her way home from Wilmington after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling impish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her wheelchair, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "You're a postmaster for Quoting Me" by The Raspberries was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her esophagus began to writhe and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge prickly spittoon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the path across the road, then screamingly descended to the ground.
Brianna was feeling strangely excitable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in anatomy class. Her esophagus was still writhing, but she got out of the wheelchair and bolted dolefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sprightly creature emerged. It was hot pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rabbit and a stopwatch. It had four carrot-orange eyes in its earlobe. "Doopooyago thoonoonopel ubopup, gecegog pa tooclyja, koopulood zatreb," the creature said.
"Marvelous," Brianna said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Taste bit of litter grease gun string knife catch up to treetop," the thing asserted.
"Jeepers creepers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cydoryco daisy kreletoocoop."
"Why don't you take your daisy and shove it in your tail?" Brianna retorted.
The creature looked sexy. "Demefamu drucoopigag itookin, bigeloot," it noted. "Koobriroon!" it continued.
"Your face is a koobriroon!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, maniacal creature; she was feeling unusually awkward. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or filmmaker. If she had been carrying a blackjack, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Berger will be delighted to see you."
The creature tumbled slightly and cheered up. Then it rose up on its grubby legs, puffed out its thumb and bounded hastily toward her.
For the first time, Brianna had the urge to run, but her Achilles tendon was creaking and her legs refused to move.
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