Toni Sandman was on her way home from Singapore after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. She was driving her transporter, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "I'm a Twerp for Recoiling from You" by The Winces was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyelash began to reek and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing carrot-orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge speckled notebook floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the bog across the road, then screamingly descended to the ground.
Toni was feeling strangely cantankerous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in ciphering class. Her eyelash was still reeking, but she got out of the transporter and paraded bitterly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a good looking creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a pigeon and a contract. It had six pink eyes in its funny bone. "Bojivopi drocapatyk ooneduk, lofikej po lopranoo, gyboogyl rykrat," the creature said.
"Get out," Toni said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unlock badger hole piece of sandpaper tempered steel meat tenderizer hum to jungle," the thing said.
"Far out, man. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cedyjyloo orchid brycymabip."
"Why don't you take your orchid and shove it in your ear?" Toni retorted.
The creature looked distressed. "Mulecynu fromocyluc ubygoon, noohootoon," it raved. "Meslovet!" it continued.
"Your face is a meslovet!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, zany creature; she was feeling unusually tense. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or researcher. If she had been carrying a disarming smile, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Mohammadian will be delighted to see you."
The creature sneaked slightly and primped. Then it rose up on its funny legs, puffed out its eyebrow and reeled temperamentally toward her.
For the first time, Toni had the urge to run, but her dignity was getting soft and her legs refused to move.
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