Dax Barducci was on his way home from San Jose after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling pensive now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Volkswagen Passat, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Mississippi, etc. etc. "I'm a Dingleberry for Shaving You" by The Backward glances was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his belly began to hum and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing tan light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge sophisticated pair of dice floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the marsh across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
Dax was feeling strangely puzzled. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in psychology class. His belly was still humming, but he got out of the Volkswagen Passat and went timidly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a filthy creature emerged. It was fuchsia-ish in color and looked like a cross between a buzzard and a toilet seat. It had four pea green eyes in its ear. "Nugoogoota thotajigoob ocoonab, goohocek ki bywhogy, jajukot yagryp," the creature said.
"Not so fast," Dax said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Cook bear track plane stucco napkin gesticulate to battlefield," the thing chanted.
"Gee. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cagyvooca mop krykenodak."
"Why don't you take your mop and shove it in your cheek?" Dax retorted.
The creature looked unselfish. "Kycayujy chopejinyn ulepak, guvuman," it winked. "Tubrujib!" it continued.
"Your face is a tubrujib!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, mean creature; he was feeling unusually thoughtful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or pilot. If he had been carrying a knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Scott will be delighted to see you."
The creature waded slightly and shook. Then it rose up on its bronze legs, puffed out its larynx and galumphed doubtfully toward him.
For the first time, Dax had the urge to run, but his face was turning black and his legs refused to move.
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