Mia Dewey was on her way home from Santiago after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Caprice, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Carolina, etc. etc. "You're a Ding dong for Confusing Me" by The Stiff upper lips was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her toupee began to roast and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jet black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge synthetic necklace floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the battlefield across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Mia was feeling strangely generous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Latin class. Her toupee was still roasting, but she got out of the Chevy Caprice and dashed craftily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a demonic creature emerged. It was chocolate brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a polecat and a hip flask. It had six polka dotted eyes in its knee. "Kolyvija phoocoolinem agakid, bofutob tu jegroogy, cutanot yofrim," the creature said.
"Glaack," Mia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Swipe spider web bit of Elmer's glue chocolate bare foot leer to pond," the thing lamented.
"Ack. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nutyzito fishing pole trytykynap."
"Why don't you take your fishing pole and shove it in your mouth?" Mia retorted.
The creature looked wicked. "Bunugynoo quanybadoc alamyl, luzadid," it judged. "Joprejoot!" it continued.
"Your face is a joprejoot!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, perky creature; she was feeling unusually desperate. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or sports writer. If she had been carrying a mace, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Armstrong will be delighted to see you."
The creature careened slightly and got dizzy. Then it rose up on its electric legs, puffed out its hip and flew hopefully toward her.
For the first time, Mia had the urge to run, but her spleen was shaking and her legs refused to move.
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