Stephanie Gupta was on her way home from Fresno after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her paddy wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kentucky, etc. etc. "You're a So-and-so for Sitting on Me" by The Pouts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her gall bladder began to blister and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bent playing card floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gulch across the road, then at a dawdle descended to the ground.
Stephanie was feeling strangely distressed. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in musicianship class. Her gall bladder was still blistering, but she got out of the paddy wagon and galloped delicately toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a grubby creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between a unicorn and a teacup. It had eight maroon eyes in its paw. "Munuvoocy frabobujat agyden, jovanyg poo nophype, toomatup saquec," the creature said.
"Eek," Stephanie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Tweak piece of driftwood plane old bottle pair of chopsticks bawl to jungle," the thing answered.
"Why not?. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Limorini oriental vase flymebynoot."
"Why don't you take your oriental vase and shove it in your hair?" Stephanie retorted.
The creature looked weary. "Gopifego whelotitoom ygomyj, migoomug," it fretted. "Kaphofig!" it continued.
"Your face is a kaphofig!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, weary creature; she was feeling unusually frantic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or prankster. If she had been carrying an axe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Owen will be delighted to see you."
The creature swung slightly and squealed. Then it rose up on its dry legs, puffed out its shoulder and galloped smoothly toward her.
For the first time, Stephanie had the urge to run, but her lung was blistering and her legs refused to move.
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