Angela DomÃnguez was on her way home from Louisville after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cunning now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Mercury Cougar, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "You're a Bugbrain for Leaving Me" by The Backward glances was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her ear began to wobble and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing purple light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge autographed knitting needle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the treetop across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Angela was feeling strangely peckish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in New Zealand history class. Her ear was still wobbling, but she got out of the Mercury Cougar and straggled breathlessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a haggard creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dinosaur and a mushroom. It had five olive green eyes in its horn. "Nijysoodu fridomonen anobol, gezetoog pu moclitu, gipitut haghoog," the creature said.
"My gosh," Angela said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Boil feather hair dryer toothpick whisk snuffle to briar patch," the thing blubbered.
"Bless your heart. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gulafaca Bible planuboopyk."
"Why don't you take your Bible and shove it in your ego?" Angela retorted.
The creature looked calm. "Biboohuka whecybutag abelyc, juwapag," it hummed. "Nyglifak!" it continued.
"Your face is a nyglifak!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, happy creature; she was feeling unusually queer. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or parole officer. If she had been carrying a pistol, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Morrissey will be delighted to see you."
The creature lumbered slightly and mumbled. Then it rose up on its bizarre legs, puffed out its knee and tore wildly toward her.
For the first time, Angela had the urge to run, but her nostril was gurgling and her legs refused to move.
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