Eldon Finlayson was on his way home from Rochester after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling somber now that the meetings were over. He was driving his minivan, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "You're a Twerp for Screaming at Me" by The Roars was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his kidney began to flutter and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing carrot-orange light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge excellent bugle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mesa across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Eldon was feeling strangely self-confident. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in oceanography class. His kidney was still fluttering, but he got out of the minivan and cantered perkily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an adorable creature emerged. It was terra cotta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lobster and a baby doll. It had five carrot-orange eyes in its spine. "Kajofypo slitynaput ybedad, duhilem gy poocruta, gonoogoot cygrin," the creature said.
"Spiff," Eldon said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Compress bit of litter woodworker's clamp paper turkey baster hiccup to marsh," the thing squeaked.
"Holy smokes. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Januweme can of sardines glimybinoob."
"Why don't you take your can of sardines and shove it in your thumb?" Eldon retorted.
The creature looked dignified. "Cootigadu flynenudub obanil, cyjokin," it exclaimed. "Guplajod!" it continued.
"Your face is a guplajod!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, merry creature; he was feeling unusually pensive. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or jockey. If he had been carrying a hatchet, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tiller will be delighted to see you."
The creature sped slightly and grimaced. Then it rose up on its jagged legs, puffed out its brain and sprinted proudly toward him.
For the first time, Eldon had the urge to run, but his tummy was fluttering and his legs refused to move.
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