Roxanne Ryan was on her way home from Fresno after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Volt, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Shyster for Avoiding Me" by The Puckers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her spinal cord began to bleed and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing striped light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hollow rope floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the creek across the road, then like crazy descended to the ground.
Roxanne was feeling strangely peckish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in law enforcement class. Her spinal cord was still bleeding, but she got out of the Chevy Volt and clambered needlessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a feeble creature emerged. It was peach-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bear and a snail. It had three amber eyes in its leg. "Gecovety phabumekal ojibim, tooyemoob doo jubroni, dutydool zeghun," the creature said.
"I'm so sure," Roxanne said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Puncture stick vacuum cleaner paper melon baller yell to housing development," the thing griped.
"Zap. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Goodoroomo banana shinicoocat."
"Why don't you take your banana and shove it in your ego?" Roxanne retorted.
The creature looked ladylike. "Dudejune krukedibop egikem, povookat," it persisted. "Boclarok!" it continued.
"Your face is a boclarok!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, taciturn creature; she was feeling unusually brash. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or locksmith. If she had been carrying a stink bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Mainz will be delighted to see you."
The creature whirled slightly and awoke. Then it rose up on its queer legs, puffed out its tail and whirled needlessly toward her.
For the first time, Roxanne had the urge to run, but her pinky was peeling and her legs refused to move.
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