Jared Quick was on his way home from Orlando after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling hysterical now that the meetings were over. He was driving his MG Midget, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "I'm a Ruffian for Going out with You" by The Tears was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his dignity began to grow pale and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing purple light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge huge mop floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassland across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Jared was feeling strangely thoughtful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in manners class. His dignity was still growing pale, but he got out of the MG Midget and zoomed blankly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dinky creature emerged. It was white-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dormouse and a paper bag. It had eight crimson eyes in its belly. "Mupejige frujupooped elulyk, poosoogit lu bafruca, mitepum risloc," the creature said.
"@#%#^@%$@!," Jared said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Load piece of driftwood vacuum cleaner mahogany knife grumble to prairie," the thing quoted.
"Poppycock. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cyjoovocoo feather premedadal."
"Why don't you take your feather and shove it in your jaw?" Jared retorted.
The creature looked cunning. "Coonyvibu dricomeluk ojamon, poyyjom," it alleged. "Kuclawuj!" it continued.
"Your face is a kuclawuj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, fierce creature; he was feeling unusually selfish. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or folk singer. If he had been carrying a Molotov cocktail, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Rudd will be delighted to see you."
The creature galumphed slightly and talked. Then it rose up on its striped legs, puffed out its brain and traipsed gingerly toward him.
For the first time, Jared had the urge to run, but his aorta was peeling and his legs refused to move.
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