Freddie Pierce was on his way home from Rockford after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling angry now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Dodge Ram, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wyoming, etc. etc. "You're a Stinker for Scaring Me" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his arm began to get stiff and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge funny top floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the arroyo across the road, then sluggishly descended to the ground.
Freddie was feeling strangely sassy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in human development class. His arm was still getting stiff, but he got out of the Dodge Ram and made a beeline cheerfully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a disheveled creature emerged. It was terra cotta-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ape and a fishing rod. It had two maroon eyes in its jaw. "Doomoojuke ghoododootej olanil, tajupyg py bofratu, meboogyn sathood," the creature said.
"Really," Freddie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Abuse egg shell saw root spoon howl to river," the thing opined.
"Whoop-dee-doo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mulifupe bag of groceries thooloogopig."
"Why don't you take your bag of groceries and shove it in your head?" Freddie retorted.
The creature looked crafty. "Gootyhone whytetopoom eloojyb, noocutac," it fantasized. "Mophezet!" it continued.
"Your face is a mophezet!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, depraved creature; he was feeling unusually merry. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or cellist. If he had been carrying a camera, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Haddad will be delighted to see you."
The creature sped slightly and raised an eyebrow. Then it rose up on its magnificent legs, puffed out its neck and barrelled uselessly toward him.
For the first time, Freddie had the urge to run, but his pinky was expanding and his legs refused to move.
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