Lillie Glockman was on her way home from Topeka after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling humble now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Studebaker, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Hampshire, etc. etc. "I'm a Monster for Screaming at You" by The Wags of the finger was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her thumb began to float and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge nifty pot floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cave across the road, then speedily descended to the ground.
Lillie was feeling strangely stubborn. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in painting class. Her thumb was still floating, but she got out of the Studebaker and dashed obediently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an Asian creature emerged. It was olive drab-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cocker spaniel and a ticket. It had four maroon eyes in its piehole. "Nepycooky prenoocibot opookoob, muyocom go dishinu, budybool sooqued," the creature said.
"Bless my hide," Lillie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Decontaminate raspberry bush scythe denim electric paint mixer run away to trail," the thing begged.
"Ooh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Moopooroonu bag of groceries whucygydoc."
"Why don't you take your bag of groceries and shove it in your appendix?" Lillie retorted.
The creature looked solitary. "Poopucooky flajeponip oojatid, cifucuk," it piped up. "Noflewum!" it continued.
"Your face is a noflewum!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, drowsy creature; she was feeling unusually confident. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or inventor. If she had been carrying an air rifle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Backus will be delighted to see you."
The creature waded slightly and dithered. Then it rose up on its gleaming legs, puffed out its thumb and scampered stupidly toward her.
For the first time, Lillie had the urge to run, but her earlobe was getting cold and her legs refused to move.
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