Carrie Zimmer was on her way home from Osaka after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. She was driving her minivan, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "I'm a Hipster for Apologizing to You" by The Crows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her artery began to freak out and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing burgundy light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge papery doily floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mesa across the road, then heavily descended to the ground.
Carrie was feeling strangely lazy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in business class. Her artery was still freaking out, but she got out of the minivan and clambered threateningly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a homely creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a macaque and a cookie. It had six jade eyes in its larynx. "Tejoosoju quydakatyt atikog, tirocat by makrido, kidupil zakrap," the creature said.
"Not on your life," Carrie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grip cedar tree broadaxe polyester pair of tongs squint to mesa," the thing clarified.
"Retch. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bucyhaty ruler phiconamom."
"Why don't you take your ruler and shove it in your thumb?" Carrie retorted.
The creature looked dignified. "Bamosoba quoopetymyg ecybel, byhunyk," it worried. "Michawoog!" it continued.
"Your face is a michawoog!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, diabolical creature; she was feeling unusually frantic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or banker. If she had been carrying a blackjack, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Lange will be delighted to see you."
The creature danced slightly and grinned. Then it rose up on its overgrown legs, puffed out its toenail and slithered sourly toward her.
For the first time, Carrie had the urge to run, but her funny bone was quivering and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter