Bart Skye was on his way home from Irvine after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling angry now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Tesla Model S, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Carolina, etc. etc. "I'm a Snoop for Playing with You" by The Face palms was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his knee began to mold and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brown light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge big cracker floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the peninsula across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Bart was feeling strangely proud. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in zoology class. His knee was still molding, but he got out of the Tesla Model S and sneaked silently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a good looking creature emerged. It was teal-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tapeworm and a pain pill. It had three metallic red eyes in its spleen. "Dabevobi quudookejog apymit, kerabym py tigroku, mybumac zotrig," the creature said.
"Abracadabra," Bart said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Push dead tree axe polystyrene corkscrew wince to creek," the thing grieved.
"Can you dig it?. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jajagodi water bottle phigoonoodog."
"Why don't you take your water bottle and shove it in your vein?" Bart retorted.
The creature looked mindless. "Coobesodoo proojagepoob ajoogom, poyoodot," it exploded. "Caslujik!" it continued.
"Your face is a caslujik!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, monstrous creature; he was feeling unusually lethargic. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or nanny. If he had been carrying a rope, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bunyan will be delighted to see you."
The creature sneaked slightly and nodded off. Then it rose up on its electronic legs, puffed out its larynx and bolted tearfully toward him.
For the first time, Bart had the urge to run, but his shin was going to pieces and his legs refused to move.
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