Robin Hudson was on her way home from Bonn after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling drowsy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Explorer, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of California, etc. etc. "I'm a Sloth for Scaring You" by The Finger guns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her pituitary gland began to dribble and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chartreuse light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ornate antenna floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cesspool across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Robin was feeling strangely self-assured. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in manners class. Her pituitary gland was still dribbling, but she got out of the Ford Explorer and tumbled flightily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a haggard creature emerged. It was turquoise-ish in color and looked like a cross between a prairie dog and a peace pipe. It had seven brown eyes in its cheek. "Poojyjipoo chilatabac uloomood, gijijoc ki mybraje, tatypyc voothop," the creature said.
"Oops," Robin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Boil maple tree hammer wood cookie cutter meow to ridge," the thing babbled.
"Suffering sassafras. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Loobyhiby paper towel plodumodot."
"Why don't you take your paper towel and shove it in your shin?" Robin retorted.
The creature looked peculiar. "Metewoma tripytootem ogabal, nagital," it wondered. "Cichuzol!" it continued.
"Your face is a cichuzol!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, bold creature; she was feeling unusually proud. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or elevator operator. If she had been carrying a machete, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tutu will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounced slightly and danced. Then it rose up on its speckled legs, puffed out its lip and went repeatedly toward her.
For the first time, Robin had the urge to run, but her back was hanging and her legs refused to move.
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