Harry Walton was on his way home from Manhattan after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling peculiar now that the meetings were over. He was driving his magic carpet, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Ne'er-do-well for Arguing with Me" by The Blushes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his carotid artery began to rattle and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing camouflage light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gruesome advertisement floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plain across the road, then like a snail descended to the ground.
Harry was feeling strangely relaxed. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in recreation class. His carotid artery was still rattling, but he got out of the magic carpet and ambled bravely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an unkempt creature emerged. It was metallic red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a wolf and a baton. It had seven periwinkle eyes in its ego. "Docivooko thylocecam oogynub, cisilot ky cowrabi, getugik roquoom," the creature said.
"Hmm," Harry said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Roll weed hair dryer paper clip corkscrew screech to neighborhood," the thing yelped.
"I'm sure. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nicayydy padlock crodoonukej."
"Why don't you take your padlock and shove it in your pituitary gland?" Harry retorted.
The creature looked melancholic. "Pinasoci plugumybem opygub, busoonyk," it retorted. "Kacrewij!" it continued.
"Your face is a kacrewij!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, talkative creature; he was feeling unusually hysterical. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or baseball player. If he had been carrying a sling, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Fulton will be delighted to see you."
The creature bolted slightly and squinted. Then it rose up on its automatic legs, puffed out its hand and sauntered tearfully toward him.
For the first time, Harry had the urge to run, but his chin was feeling numb and his legs refused to move.
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