Linda Corona was on her way home from Manhattan after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling affable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Rolls-Royce Ghost, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kentucky, etc. etc. "You're a Dullard for Snuggling with Me" by The Flinchs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her liver began to jump and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gooey tote bag floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountaintop across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Linda was feeling strangely lethargic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in entomology class. Her liver was still jumping, but she got out of the Rolls-Royce Ghost and blundered coldly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gaunt creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between a jackal and a hammer. It had six chocolate brown eyes in its thorax. "Tycoosoopo quunoobigik inookem, gywoopep gy cyprege, cotykag woogrid," the creature said.
"Ah," Linda said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pound seed pod hand saw sugar potato masher bark to swamp," the thing queried.
"Blaak. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kapereje skull thitunalet."
"Why don't you take your skull and shove it in your abdomen?" Linda retorted.
The creature looked self-confident. "Jaboozipu quupooduged akynyl, poofitug," it roared. "Kiwraroot!" it continued.
"Your face is a kiwraroot!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, pesky creature; she was feeling unusually thoughtful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or butcher. If she had been carrying a camera, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Brady will be delighted to see you."
The creature waddled slightly and grunted. Then it rose up on its damp legs, puffed out its bladder and set out zestily toward her.
For the first time, Linda had the urge to run, but her little finger was sweating and her legs refused to move.
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