Janice Vidmar was on her way home from Baltimore after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cautious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Caprice, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "You're a Maniac for Frying Me" by The Simpers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her thumb began to get sticky and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing crimson light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gleaming wastebasket floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the steppe across the road, then actively descended to the ground.
Janice was feeling strangely self-confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in political science class. Her thumb was still getting sticky, but she got out of the Chevy Caprice and breezed blindly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an athletic creature emerged. It was ivory-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dragon and a diagram. It had four lavender eyes in its belly button. "Nagajale thakeloogog yponod, pajobag le jeklaja, banugum yyplaj," the creature said.
"Wahoo," Janice said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grab wolf track garden hose manure electric mixer pant to range," the thing croaked.
"Eww. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Boocyzudo spool of thread preloojiboop."
"Why don't you take your spool of thread and shove it in your kneecap?" Janice retorted.
The creature looked exuberant. "Titejoly shobobebed ypigool, dooyekyl," it drawled. "Lokryzyp!" it continued.
"Your face is a lokryzyp!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, cruel creature; she was feeling unusually affable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or violinist. If she had been carrying an assault rifle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bradley will be delighted to see you."
The creature rolled slightly and took a bath. Then it rose up on its abnormal legs, puffed out its leg and struggled courteously toward her.
For the first time, Janice had the urge to run, but her face was trembling and her legs refused to move.
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