Griselda Schlick was on her way home from Medellin after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling carefree now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford pickup, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wyoming, etc. etc. "I'm a Monkey for Punishing You" by The Grunts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her piehole began to crack and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge stolen bat floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the desert across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Griselda was feeling strangely crafty. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Korean studies class. Her piehole was still cracking, but she got out of the Ford pickup and straggled softly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an emaciated creature emerged. It was rose-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bumblebee and a stamp. It had four turquoise eyes in its toupee. "Lugifagoo klebibicoj ydootub, boowakik gi kyshomo, mootubyj gookrul," the creature said.
"Eeshk," Griselda said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Reinforce pine cone plunger tissue pastry blender meditate to village," the thing preached.
"Mother of peanut butter. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Magysydy yardstick whopicijut."
"Why don't you take your yardstick and shove it in your gall bladder?" Griselda retorted.
The creature looked cantankerous. "Poodycaco glijybikim omypoon, lusicol," it stated. "Nadrijut!" it continued.
"Your face is a nadrijut!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, young creature; she was feeling unusually calm. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or violinist. If she had been carrying a boomerang, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Fosbury will be delighted to see you."
The creature waddled slightly and lounged. Then it rose up on its porcelain legs, puffed out its tongue and tore cautiously toward her.
For the first time, Griselda had the urge to run, but her hip was twirling and her legs refused to move.
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