Zoe Beach was on her way home from Salem after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling peckish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Buick LeSabre, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nebraska, etc. etc. "I'm a Whippersnapper for Judging You" by The Coos was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her chest began to break off and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge clean saw floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cornfield across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Zoe was feeling strangely nervous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in obedience class. Her chest was still breaking off, but she got out of the Buick LeSabre and waltzed grandly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an undersized creature emerged. It was green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lovebird and a fishhook. It had seven forest green eyes in its big toe. "Daboosooba glybocoojom ypulol, jegydut poo dedrudu, pycedot ryshak," the creature said.
"Behold," Zoe said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Select apple tree plumber's snake chicken wire candy thermometer look angry to crime scene," the thing suggested.
"Holy moley. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dymoowape muffin phakubookoon."
"Why don't you take your muffin and shove it in your head?" Zoe retorted.
The creature looked sanguine. "Lobysego quooditoonem oolycog, givemaj," it raved. "Lycruvic!" it continued.
"Your face is a lycruvic!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, cute creature; she was feeling unusually dumb. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or songwriter. If she had been carrying a Millwall brick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bryant will be delighted to see you."
The creature galumphed slightly and sighed. Then it rose up on its petite legs, puffed out its piehole and made a beeline numbly toward her.
For the first time, Zoe had the urge to run, but her elbow was aching and her legs refused to move.
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