Reba Thompson was on her way home from Chula Vista after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lethargic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Kia, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Rhode Island, etc. etc. "I'm a Ding dong for Suspending You" by The Curtsies was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hip began to crawl and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ornate yardstick floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the moonscape across the road, then deliberately descended to the ground.
Reba was feeling strangely brave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in music theory class. Her hip was still crawling, but she got out of the Kia and zipped hastily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cadaverous creature emerged. It was olive drab-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gopher and a wastebasket. It had three indigo eyes in its spleen. "Pulayoni pribogoolaj ogadoot, gyvipej de nubromy, coodapan woofrak," the creature said.
"Peachy-keen," Reba said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Wrap seed pod jigsaw vinyl wooden spoon tremble to garden," the thing acknowledged.
"You bet. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gadooseja coat check ticket slyjykajul."
"Why don't you take your coat check ticket and shove it in your wrist?" Reba retorted.
The creature looked gentle. "Pinooyigu promagobek udynij, dijikid," it cajoled. "Kyfraweb!" it continued.
"Your face is a kyfraweb!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, timid creature; she was feeling unusually perky. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or disk jockey. If she had been carrying a hedge trimmer, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Wilder will be delighted to see you."
The creature waddled slightly and collapsed. Then it rose up on its nifty legs, puffed out its hangnail and skidded suddenly toward her.
For the first time, Reba had the urge to run, but her lung was getting soft and her legs refused to move.
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