Twigs Greenwood was on his way home from Lubbock after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling stubborn now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Explorer, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Rhode Island, etc. etc. "I'm a Punk for Disparaging You" by The Kisses was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his eyelash began to ossify and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rare pumpkin floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountainside across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Twigs was feeling strangely sarcastic. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in environmental science class. His eyelash was still ossifying, but he got out of the Ford Explorer and blundered smoothly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bony creature emerged. It was aqua-ish in color and looked like a cross between a ferret and a pipe. It had five maroon eyes in its eyeball. "Jyjejuje phytujoodoot omityt, kuzamog koo cecrade, docatoon vochub," the creature said.
"Stinkers," Twigs said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Plasticize tree rake maple melon baller groan to plateau," the thing imitated.
"Get out. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lukasona mirror shoodumimood."
"Why don't you take your mirror and shove it in your hairdo?" Twigs retorted.
The creature looked desperate. "Kogozocoo thilanutuc ilodyj, tavejip," it smiled. "Gishacen!" it continued.
"Your face is a gishacen!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, high-strung creature; he was feeling unusually queer. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or errand runner. If he had been carrying a harpoon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Young will be delighted to see you."
The creature sallied forth slightly and yelled. Then it rose up on its ruined legs, puffed out its waist and stormed angrily toward him.
For the first time, Twigs had the urge to run, but his heart was awakening and his legs refused to move.
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