Jody Ortmann was on her way home from London after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cheerful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ram pickup, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Louisiana, etc. etc. "I'm a Nerd for Frowning at You" by The Roars was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her waist began to itch and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing crimson light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge prickly hubcap floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the creek across the road, then heavily descended to the ground.
Jody was feeling strangely suave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in painting class. Her waist was still itching, but she got out of the Ram pickup and dove positively toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a scraggly creature emerged. It was jade-ish in color and looked like a cross between a kitten and a pair of fuzzy dice. It had five burgundy eyes in its ego. "Pooloogamo gloodytimuk yketyt, pogagool koo kyshooji, goomided woochoom," the creature said.
"Scurvy dog," Jody said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Kick cactus glue gun wire oven mitt hide to cliff," the thing babbled.
"Avast. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tojooguje comb dradejanyk."
"Why don't you take your comb and shove it in your pinky?" Jody retorted.
The creature looked moody. "Cugojijy clootogipij utykyj, dezonyn," it contended. "Leghocet!" it continued.
"Your face is a leghocet!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, gentle creature; she was feeling unusually puzzled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or philosopher. If she had been carrying a Bowie knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Eriksson will be delighted to see you."
The creature danced slightly and barked. Then it rose up on its modern legs, puffed out its pride and barrelled ingeniously toward her.
For the first time, Jody had the urge to run, but her face was bunching up and her legs refused to move.
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