Olive Papadapolous was on her way home from Kansas City after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. She was driving her panel truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Jersey, etc. etc. "I'm a Flake for Avoiding You" by The Smiles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hangnail began to get moldy and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing camouflage light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge puzzling stick floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the island across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Olive was feeling strangely desperate. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in social studies class. Her hangnail was still getting moldy, but she got out of the panel truck and sprinted coldly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blond creature emerged. It was scarlet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cockroach and a cupcake. It had six brilliant orange eyes in its belly. "Poocyzoocoo brapupilyn ynylul, magytut noo bykliko, pykubam suploot," the creature said.
"Why not?," Olive said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unbutton twig wrench stucco ladle chuckle to pasture," the thing boomed.
"Oof. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gajayace spider thumaponot."
"Why don't you take your spider and shove it in your palm?" Olive retorted.
The creature looked modest. "Gyjoofaly shetudatok eboojan, goocujeg," it screeched. "Daflysem!" it continued.
"Your face is a daflysem!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, talkative creature; she was feeling unusually maniacal. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or mason. If she had been carrying a hand grenade, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gibson will be delighted to see you."
The creature hobbled slightly and grew up. Then it rose up on its ruined legs, puffed out its eyeball and swung wearily toward her.
For the first time, Olive had the urge to run, but her brain was perking up and her legs refused to move.
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