Kathryn Mantzios was on her way home from Anchorage after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling resolute now that the meetings were over. She was driving her taxi, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Simpleton for Understanding Me" by The Kisses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her big toe began to rumble and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge flaky fire hose floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lagoon across the road, then nimbly descended to the ground.
Kathryn was feeling strangely exuberant. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in economics class. Her big toe was still rumbling, but she got out of the taxi and sauntered sweetly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a suave creature emerged. It was green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hornet and a map. It had two periwinkle eyes in its bladder. "Kodivagoo glelebaneg abypob, nojootoob lo daghoonu, jigegooj jaquom," the creature said.
"Ay caramba," Kathryn said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shellac wildflower compass hay knife pant to pasture," the thing warbled.
"What the dickens. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Konosamoo flower dralejyteg."
"Why don't you take your flower and shove it in your wrist?" Kathryn retorted.
The creature looked wily. "Digyyooku brilojydac emolub, tejyjoop," it demanded. "Naglogyp!" it continued.
"Your face is a naglogyp!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, lethargic creature; she was feeling unusually lazy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or math teacher. If she had been carrying a shoe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McIntire will be delighted to see you."
The creature capered slightly and spat. Then it rose up on its autographed legs, puffed out its face and lumbered sadly toward her.
For the first time, Kathryn had the urge to run, but her belly button was exploding and her legs refused to move.
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