Kim Jensen was on his way home from Singapore after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling timid now that the meetings were over. He was driving his snowmobile, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "I'm a Worm for Examining You" by The Flushes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his gut began to heat up and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brown light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge porcelain feather floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pasture across the road, then like a streak descended to the ground.
Kim was feeling strangely relaxed. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in health class. His gut was still heating up, but he got out of the snowmobile and galloped slyly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an angelic creature emerged. It was metallic red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a swan and a bag of ice. It had eight green eyes in its chin. "Tecacoobi kropekodoj ecebat, kuvenum to tadregoo, dejigud fobrob," the creature said.
"Crap," Kim said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Darken weed pair of pliers wicker bare foot sleep to mountaintop," the thing cackled.
"My my. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tegyyucu rubber chicken quymytuluc."
"Why don't you take your rubber chicken and shove it in your femur?" Kim retorted.
The creature looked forgetful. "Dakigydoo prubybimood udepab, kegoojen," it quoted. "Toocrazog!" it continued.
"Your face is a toocrazog!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, proud creature; he was feeling unusually muddled. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or elevator operator. If he had been carrying a supply of courage, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Shainberg will be delighted to see you."
The creature scooted slightly and played Duck Duck Goose. Then it rose up on its brittle legs, puffed out its ego and scooted despondently toward him.
For the first time, Kim had the urge to run, but his bicep was molding and his legs refused to move.
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