Jeanette Eastwood was on her way home from Salinas after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling somber now that the meetings were over. She was driving her wheelchair, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "I'm a Lunatic for Spanking You" by The Face palms was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her liver began to melt and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge synthetic cowbell floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hayfield across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Jeanette was feeling strangely resolute. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in public relations class. Her liver was still melting, but she got out of the wheelchair and scooted stealthily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a roly-poly creature emerged. It was violet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a frog and a cigarette lighter. It had seven khaki eyes in its larynx. "Metiruji glujejolym onineg, loosucoog na biprode, mootumet rowroc," the creature said.
"Excellent," Jeanette said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Dislodge badger hole sand blaster paper clip mixing spoon crouch to savanna," the thing lamented.
"Excellent. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kydejookoo box of candy shojicobil."
"Why don't you take your box of candy and shove it in your vein?" Jeanette retorted.
The creature looked bald. "Cilawibe troonemedook otobyd, magabac," it demanded. "Coofroorap!" it continued.
"Your face is a coofroorap!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sociable creature; she was feeling unusually queer. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or calligrapher. If she had been carrying a pistol, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Patterson will be delighted to see you."
The creature sneaked slightly and cheered up. Then it rose up on its aromatic legs, puffed out its little toe and bolted ignobly toward her.
For the first time, Jeanette had the urge to run, but her spleen was ossifying and her legs refused to move.
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