Bria Spangler was on her way home from Wichita after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling self-confident now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Camaro, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "You're a Pook for Challenging Me" by The Flushes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her beard began to crawl and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing metallic red light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge shiny spider floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pasture across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Bria was feeling strangely impish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in hygiene class. Her beard was still crawling, but she got out of the Chevy Camaro and trekked sweetly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a fair creature emerged. It was terra cotta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a panther and a comb. It had five fuchsia eyes in its forehead. "Poomoocoobo flutagedak ypyloog, nogejyg loo tophooboo, lemoled gowren," the creature said.
"Grrrrr," Bria said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Flush tree branch nail clipper epoxy paring knife curtsey to arroyo," the thing mumbled.
"Suffering sassafras. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lymoorule paper towel chytipinat."
"Why don't you take your paper towel and shove it in your mouth?" Bria retorted.
The creature looked moronic. "Nipafoopu droolugimap ubanit, biwagat," it declaimed. "Godrehib!" it continued.
"Your face is a godrehib!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, enthusiastic creature; she was feeling unusually queer. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or drunkard. If she had been carrying a rubber band, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Harper will be delighted to see you."
The creature went slightly and puffed. Then it rose up on its polished legs, puffed out its cheek and flounced greedily toward her.
For the first time, Bria had the urge to run, but her abdomen was aching and her legs refused to move.
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