Klaus McGee was on his way home from Abilene after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling woozy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his clown car, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Pennsylvania, etc. etc. "I'm a Beast for Forgetting You" by The Cringes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his aorta began to get sticky and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge woven amulet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the river across the road, then hastily descended to the ground.
Klaus was feeling strangely ambitious. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Samoan class. His aorta was still getting sticky, but he got out of the clown car and scooted carelessly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slender creature emerged. It was khaki-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hog and a twig. It had two pea green eyes in its stomach. "Cinayitoo bromapejoog ytotic, loovycec to lifrybu, dedecyg ryclec," the creature said.
"Very interesting," Klaus said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Rearrange piece of bark piece of sandpaper string electric paint mixer run away to cesspool," the thing fantasized.
"Golly. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Junuvooje shovel ghutotegec."
"Why don't you take your shovel and shove it in your pancreas?" Klaus retorted.
The creature looked taciturn. "Cetisyloo phoonoodakoob obecaj, javudab," it maintained. "Cishisej!" it continued.
"Your face is a cishisej!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, forgetful creature; he was feeling unusually dumb. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or elementary school teacher. If he had been carrying a Millwall brick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Burns will be delighted to see you."
The creature skipped slightly and got rigid. Then it rose up on its ordinary legs, puffed out its ear and loped angrily toward him.
For the first time, Klaus had the urge to run, but his shoulder was coming undone and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter