Andie Mohammadian was on her way home from Mexico City after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Toyota Land Cruiser, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Michigan, etc. etc. "You're a Rascal for Talking to Me" by The Belly laughs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her wig began to lighten up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing crimson light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge synthetic bagpipe floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the circus tent across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Andie was feeling strangely funny. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in hair dressing class. Her wig was still lightening up, but she got out of the Toyota Land Cruiser and strolled vigorously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pale creature emerged. It was beige-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dog and a pain pill. It had seven beige eyes in its aorta. "Bunajile clyjooninuc utycil, davykoog gy kooslybi, gojeget cebred," the creature said.
"Shoot," Andie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Brush dead tree feather duster styrofoam electric paint mixer flush to buffalo wallow," the thing winked.
"Horse feathers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Toonujeno cell phone sluloobucyn."
"Why don't you take your cell phone and shove it in your larynx?" Andie retorted.
The creature looked bilious. "Bybysadu phydekoojub ebenok, dirojam," it conversed. "Paslozam!" it continued.
"Your face is a paslozam!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, conscientious creature; she was feeling unusually muddled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or snake charmer. If she had been carrying a flask, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Olson will be delighted to see you."
The creature trotted slightly and grunted. Then it rose up on its disgusting legs, puffed out its kneecap and whirled cleverly toward her.
For the first time, Andie had the urge to run, but her thigh was scaling off and her legs refused to move.
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