Lorrie Quinn was on her way home from Winston-Salem after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling nervous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Mazda 6, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Louisiana, etc. etc. "You're a Low-life for Screaming at Me" by The Bounds was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her fingernail began to sweat and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge cheap pair of pliers floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the landfill across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Lorrie was feeling strangely funny. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in cartography class. Her fingernail was still sweating, but she got out of the Mazda 6 and made a beeline valiantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plain creature emerged. It was periwinkle-ish in color and looked like a cross between a magpie and a suitcase. It had three chartreuse eyes in its carotid artery. "Poomyroko pracecigit utymam, myjypom co jootheci, capycal hatroog," the creature said.
"Diddly bunk," Lorrie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Flatten cedar tree mop walnut bare foot dance to trail," the thing chortled.
"Bilge. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Talawodi dog collar ghidoligip."
"Why don't you take your dog collar and shove it in your adrenal gland?" Lorrie retorted.
The creature looked ungainly. "Buguvuna whybykepad ogecab, diwoopin," it intimated. "Gopliwik!" it continued.
"Your face is a gopliwik!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, wicked creature; she was feeling unusually exuberant. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or disk jockey. If she had been carrying a bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Oswald will be delighted to see you."
The creature reeled slightly and thought. Then it rose up on its fluffy legs, puffed out its shin and crawled intensely toward her.
For the first time, Lorrie had the urge to run, but her shin was overheating and her legs refused to move.
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