Frankie Franz was on his way home from Pittsburgh after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling sassy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Rolls-Royce Phantom, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Utah, etc. etc. "You're a Blackguard for Leading Me" by The Belly laughs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his neck began to unwind and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing metallic red light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge autographed stone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hill across the road, then like crazy descended to the ground.
Frankie was feeling strangely thoughtful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in acupuncture class. His neck was still unwinding, but he got out of the Rolls-Royce Phantom and skidded strangely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a scruffy creature emerged. It was black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a panther and a pair of fuzzy dice. It had six green eyes in its toenail. "Gukoofaty glenabooluk abookak, kayalib poo moodroolu, tubycit sygrib," the creature said.
"Poof," Frankie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Kiss wildflower file diamond cheesecloth sigh to lagoon," the thing spewed.
"Eureka. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Balaruby Frisbee glekolamin."
"Why don't you take your Frisbee and shove it in your hip?" Frankie retorted.
The creature looked agitated. "Minarajo frotujoogup adobeg, mygujag," it chuckled. "Paprewooj!" it continued.
"Your face is a paprewooj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, brave creature; he was feeling unusually stubborn. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or prisoner. If he had been carrying a Bowie knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gilson will be delighted to see you."
The creature marched slightly and snuffled. Then it rose up on its huge legs, puffed out its femur and paraded properly toward him.
For the first time, Frankie had the urge to run, but his ego was getting cold and his legs refused to move.
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