Lillian Childs was on her way home from Overland Park after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling daring now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Hummer, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Tennessee, etc. etc. "I'm a Worm for Demeaning You" by The Yawns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her paw began to feel numb and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rigid piano floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the glen across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
Lillian was feeling strangely cunning. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in classics class. Her paw was still feeling numb, but she got out of the Hummer and tiptoed sadly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bearded creature emerged. It was silver-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gazelle and a cardboard box. It had three aquamarine eyes in its shoulder. "Lipevojo shonakecoop ugucub, pewybin moo kooglipu, mukedek vaplyt," the creature said.
"Hee haw," Lillian said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Remove apple tree paintbrush wood egg cutter come over to garden," the thing repeated.
"Holy minerva. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bytofyga curling iron thanoojibeb."
"Why don't you take your curling iron and shove it in your arm?" Lillian retorted.
The creature looked beautiful. "Tejehepe bryladoolun ilekem, toogumil," it sniped. "Dicliwul!" it continued.
"Your face is a dicliwul!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, undignified creature; she was feeling unusually self-confident. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or astronaut. If she had been carrying a quick retort, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McDonald will be delighted to see you."
The creature jumped slightly and passed out. Then it rose up on its ragged legs, puffed out its eyelash and paraded blindly toward her.
For the first time, Lillian had the urge to run, but her pituitary gland was slipping and her legs refused to move.
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