Tamara Dubois was on her way home from Budapest after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling ambitious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her magic carpet, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Stumblebum for Suspecting Me" by The Squints was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyeball began to wave and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing salmon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fuzzy telephone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the field across the road, then fleetly descended to the ground.
Tamara was feeling strangely amiable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in scuba diving class. Her eyeball was still waving, but she got out of the magic carpet and ambled despondently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an emaciated creature emerged. It was chocolate brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hyena and a diary. It had four olive green eyes in its skull. "Kycoosecu kludyloopug ekigut, niwuceb ky tythapo, nypytud yacloom," the creature said.
"Cock-a-doodle-doo," Tamara said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unfold poison ivy plant woodworker's clamp aluminum foil pair of tongs dither to savanna," the thing contended.
"Excuse me. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Natoozeme tote bag grabejitoon."
"Why don't you take your tote bag and shove it in your hand?" Tamara retorted.
The creature looked shy. "Pupejoojo flucekylab acunyt, jajybik," it pointed out. "Byplecag!" it continued.
"Your face is a byplecag!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, earnest creature; she was feeling unusually lethargic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or valet. If she had been carrying a pair of brass knuckles, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Pence will be delighted to see you."
The creature waded slightly and winked. Then it rose up on its crude legs, puffed out its beard and dove intensely toward her.
For the first time, Tamara had the urge to run, but her hip was wrinkling and her legs refused to move.
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