Kayla Miller was on her way home from Charleston after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sarcastic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her canoe, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Dakota, etc. etc. "I'm a Cootieface for Breaking You" by The Winces was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her fingernail began to hum and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing periwinkle light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge queer sea shell floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the canyon across the road, then briskly descended to the ground.
Kayla was feeling strangely pensive. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in poetry class. Her fingernail was still humming, but she got out of the canoe and swung gracefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a neat creature emerged. It was pea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a honeybee and an amulet. It had three chartreuse eyes in its belly. "Coonyyony clejobepeb ekutob, dirujul tu netreta, kupoodic zithol," the creature said.
"Cease and desist," Kayla said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Drench stick scythe rubber meat tenderizer pray to mountaintop," the thing conversed.
"Cool beans. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mypugijo dead tsetse fly prycoometuc."
"Why don't you take your dead tsetse fly and shove it in your foot?" Kayla retorted.
The creature looked sober. "Mabivacu shicabeloop amepyj, deyajad," it argued. "Tyquizood!" it continued.
"Your face is a tyquizood!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, solitary creature; she was feeling unusually perky. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or rubbish collector. If she had been carrying a Nerf bat, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Brown will be delighted to see you."
The creature flounced slightly and clattered. Then it rose up on its fuzzy legs, puffed out its lip and swaggered cheerfully toward her.
For the first time, Kayla had the urge to run, but her back was expanding and her legs refused to move.
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