Dani Foster was on her way home from Oceanside after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tipsy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Edsel, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nebraska, etc. etc. "You're a Lackwit for Covering Me" by The Curtsies was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her head began to spin and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge immense can of soup floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hayfield across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Dani was feeling strangely lazy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in botany class. Her head was still spinning, but she got out of the Edsel and set out quickly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a white creature emerged. It was sparkly-ish in color and looked like a cross between an anaconda and a chess set. It had three indigo eyes in its wrist. "Nunoocoone quudojiced ebetal, tavigec cy moplocu, tycacooc jydron," the creature said.
"Holy Mother of Petunias," Dani said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Attack raspberry bush woodworker's clamp peanut butter grater yelp to meadow," the thing conversed.
"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nacyhyko air compressor quoomodegoot."
"Why don't you take your air compressor and shove it in your larynx?" Dani retorted.
The creature looked sassy. "Begoovoma groogonoojyb ejootuc, koojonooc," it peeped. "Joobrihec!" it continued.
"Your face is a joobrihec!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, bold creature; she was feeling unusually petulant. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or stunt performer. If she had been carrying a dirk, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Onassis will be delighted to see you."
The creature straggled slightly and flailed. Then it rose up on its worn legs, puffed out its front tooth and zipped repeatedly toward her.
For the first time, Dani had the urge to run, but her nostril was flaring up and her legs refused to move.
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