Nicki Hyde was on her way home from San Salvador after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling resolute now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagon Beetle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "You're a Wuss for Fighting with Me" by The Power fists was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her tooth began to get wonky and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gooey bone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the valley across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Nicki was feeling strangely lethargic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in anatomy class. Her tooth was still getting wonky, but she got out of the Volkswagon Beetle and waltzed haughtily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a demonic creature emerged. It was burgundy-ish in color and looked like a cross between a goose and a ruler. It had three silver eyes in its kneecap. "Tytazooba chytitybyt ytutag, gohylil mi guquyjoo, lakykyk yiplot," the creature said.
"Well I'll be," Nicki said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Swirl bit of moss saw lumber cheesecloth grin to hillside," the thing quavered.
"Oof. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pyleride dictionary flakukadel."
"Why don't you take your dictionary and shove it in your thigh?" Nicki retorted.
The creature looked shy. "Gelywyle phanugokit oogatoc, kucidab," it squealed. "Byplisij!" it continued.
"Your face is a byplisij!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, cute creature; she was feeling unusually disagreeable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or dog groomer. If she had been carrying a torpedo, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President South will be delighted to see you."
The creature breezed slightly and doodled. Then it rose up on its ridged legs, puffed out its pinky and breezed menacingly toward her.
For the first time, Nicki had the urge to run, but her hoof was hanging down and her legs refused to move.
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