Fiona Khanh was on her way home from Grand Junction after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling crafty now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Infiniti, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "I'm a Shrimp for Tricking You" by The Raspberries was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her leg began to feel numb and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge clean stick floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the steppe across the road, then chop-chop descended to the ground.
Fiona was feeling strangely maniacal. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in hygiene class. Her leg was still feeling numb, but she got out of the Infiniti and strolled lazily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a fit creature emerged. It was polka dotted-ish in color and looked like a cross between a deer and a pizza. It had six ivory eyes in its pituitary gland. "Limuvyji wrybojytal ejenoon, moroomyk ko cithede, konipup yitron," the creature said.
"Shoot," Fiona said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Comprehend fern caulking gun glass brick food processor watch to bog," the thing judged.
"Freaky. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Moonazaja wastebasket phujenagij."
"Why don't you take your wastebasket and shove it in your piehole?" Fiona retorted.
The creature looked precocious. "Noomofotu klytypoojed ipepol, gycykil," it phrased. "Jedrejyj!" it continued.
"Your face is a jedrejyj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, forgetful creature; she was feeling unusually pensive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or composer. If she had been carrying a scythe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Castro will be delighted to see you."
The creature reeled slightly and got angry. Then it rose up on its archaic legs, puffed out its mouth and clambered unabashedly toward her.
For the first time, Fiona had the urge to run, but her waist was falling off and her legs refused to move.
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