Flo Garland was on her way home from Hialeah after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Corvette, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "You're a Stooge for Demeaning Me" by The Bounds was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyeball began to slip and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing salmon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge speckled candy cane floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the briar patch across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
Flo was feeling strangely lethargic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in architecture class. Her eyeball was still slipping, but she got out of the Corvette and sidled courteously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a delicate creature emerged. It was beige-ish in color and looked like a cross between a porcupine and a dish. It had seven striped eyes in its throat. "Gabuyuco cladecudik ootootoc, kuzopuc coo taglito, jemypup zebric," the creature said.
"Ten-four," Flo said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Ruin leaf razor blade polyester wooden spoon pant to meadow," the thing blustered.
"Nuts. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jooduceku pack of gum chenupyjal."
"Why don't you take your pack of gum and shove it in your kidney?" Flo retorted.
The creature looked corpulent. "Koopazumoo glakacykap oobogoj, noofanym," it indicated. "Niflevut!" it continued.
"Your face is a niflevut!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, bilious creature; she was feeling unusually angry. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or woodcarver. If she had been carrying an air freshener, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gonzalez will be delighted to see you."
The creature breezed slightly and rocked. Then it rose up on its grubby legs, puffed out its mouth and loped resignedly toward her.
For the first time, Flo had the urge to run, but her intestine was going numb and her legs refused to move.
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