Josephine Bede was on her way home from Palmdale after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cheerful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her rickshaw, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "I'm a Fiend for Hypnotizing You" by The Simpers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her stomach began to cool down and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge tiny fingernail clipper floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the canyon across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
Josephine was feeling strangely lethargic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in arithmetic class. Her stomach was still cooling down, but she got out of the rickshaw and sailed humbly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a disheveled creature emerged. It was jet black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a beagle and a model airplane. It had six terra cotta eyes in its spleen. "Cyluwimo flotookacac abopoom, dyhoolool ca pughaty, pipikig japryg," the creature said.
"Moo," Josephine said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Annoint rock caulking gun precious gem wooden spoon play to cesspool," the thing boomed.
"That's crazy talk. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Poonohookoo magnifying glass phigudodum."
"Why don't you take your magnifying glass and shove it in your ego?" Josephine retorted.
The creature looked tense. "Noojahajy wrucoopymoop oogipem, moosamal," it informed. "Tooquicyt!" it continued.
"Your face is a tooquicyt!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, intelligent creature; she was feeling unusually tense. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or disk jockey. If she had been carrying a cleaver, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gill will be delighted to see you."
The creature swung slightly and got dizzy. Then it rose up on its prickly legs, puffed out its thorax and rushed suspiciously toward her.
For the first time, Josephine had the urge to run, but her aorta was getting hairy and her legs refused to move.
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