Madalyn Ridley was on her way home from Guadalajara after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling pensive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her armored fighting vehicle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Carolina, etc. etc. "I'm a Pigdog for Confronting You" by The Fist bumps was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her kneecap began to drip and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge smooth handkerchief floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the forest across the road, then like a streak descended to the ground.
Madalyn was feeling strangely resolute. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in philosophy class. Her kneecap was still dripping, but she got out of the armored fighting vehicle and swaggered valiantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plump creature emerged. It was tan-ish in color and looked like a cross between a newt and a roll of duct tape. It had two aquamarine eyes in its little toe. "Tetiyoojo thotinujuc oomykin, levuloon lo codrode, gogydyp riprid," the creature said.
"Inconceivable," Madalyn said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Lengthen mulberry tree eyelash curler bubble dull knife preach to mesa," the thing snarled.
"Thunderation. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tytoofecy can of beer phecoopupit."
"Why don't you take your can of beer and shove it in your eyelid?" Madalyn retorted.
The creature looked forgetful. "Jypegumo wronimymyb abykyb, moowadot," it hinted. "Poglihep!" it continued.
"Your face is a poglihep!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, absent-minded creature; she was feeling unusually drowsy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or lifeguard. If she had been carrying a soldering iron, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Jordan will be delighted to see you."
The creature stormed slightly and yawned. Then it rose up on its clean legs, puffed out its thigh and danced quickly toward her.
For the first time, Madalyn had the urge to run, but her dignity was sweating and her legs refused to move.
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