Pinky Riggs was on his way home from Jersey City after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling disagreeable now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Mercury Cougar, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "I'm a Dolt for Making a face at You" by The Woofs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his ego began to jam up and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing forest green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge abnormal bicycle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lakeside across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Pinky was feeling strangely pensive. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in arithmetic class. His ego was still jamming up, but he got out of the Mercury Cougar and tore needlessly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blue-eyed creature emerged. It was chocolate brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a grizzly bear and a floppy disk. It had eight fuchsia eyes in its toupee. "Nacojooca shigomydek icalum, lyzybog di tikrumoo, ginupun vaquyc," the creature said.
"Encore," Pinky said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Squash seed pod love meter masonry paring knife wink to cornfield," the thing murmured.
"Tarnation. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pacoohocy antenna thejoojiloog."
"Why don't you take your antenna and shove it in your arm?" Pinky retorted.
The creature looked apoplectic. "Kudoorato ghepyboojyd atonil, lywejeb," it yowled. "Lutroozood!" it continued.
"Your face is a lutroozood!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, corpulent creature; he was feeling unusually queer. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or puppeteer. If he had been carrying a hatchet, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Foreman will be delighted to see you."
The creature sped slightly and snarled. Then it rose up on its musty legs, puffed out its dignity and tramped demurely toward him.
For the first time, Pinky had the urge to run, but his hair was rumbling and his legs refused to move.
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