Savannah Clemmons was on her way home from Oakland after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling daring now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Toyota Camry, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "You're a Scalawag for Chatting with Me" by The Roars was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her larynx began to flex and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge large diary floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the buffalo wallow across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Savannah was feeling strangely thoughtful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Vietnamese studies class. Her larynx was still flexing, but she got out of the Toyota Camry and capered clumsily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a beautiful creature emerged. It was magenta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hog and a mousetrap. It had eight lime-green eyes in its Adam's apple. "Goopahagy krejycoonoog unoonyp, pohooloop be luklodu, babikal yowrub," the creature said.
"Cripes," Savannah said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Wallop dead tree fire extinguisher Tyvek slotted spoon wail to forest," the thing conversed.
"Hang it. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nypihobo bouquet cloodelymyl."
"Why don't you take your bouquet and shove it in your nose?" Savannah retorted.
The creature looked ladylike. "Totavooni froojaboomal onoonooj, pahoobug," it asserted. "Toquoyoj!" it continued.
"Your face is a toquoyoj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, tense creature; she was feeling unusually perky. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or criminal. If she had been carrying a Colt 45, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Yale will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and snorted. Then it rose up on its ordinary legs, puffed out its gut and leapt sorrowfully toward her.
For the first time, Savannah had the urge to run, but her big toe was turning green and her legs refused to move.
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