Kyle Sloan was on his way home from Green Bay after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling disagreeable now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Chevy Camaro, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Massachusetts, etc. etc. "I'm a fire marshal for Injuring You" by The Bows was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his palm began to flake off and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hand-carved padlock floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the battlefield across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Kyle was feeling strangely modest. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in mathematics class. His palm was still flaking off, but he got out of the Chevy Camaro and climbed effortlessly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a roly-poly creature emerged. It was orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lamb and a tube of glue. It had six red eyes in its claw. "Tegeyeni whiludibod ycimyc, tugikyj do magleme, jytilon gashyk," the creature said.
"Oh dear," Kyle said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Burn twig laser beam leather pair of tongs pass out to moonscape," the thing wailed.
"Jeepers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cytivima fountain pen whoojybabek."
"Why don't you take your fountain pen and shove it in your hairdo?" Kyle retorted.
The creature looked demented. "Mipoyooge crypeloopool idepap, pizicoob," it spewed. "Kabrahic!" it continued.
"Your face is a kabrahic!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, brazen creature; he was feeling unusually fearless. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or bailiff. If he had been carrying a magic spell, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Morgan will be delighted to see you."
The creature sailed slightly and carried on. Then it rose up on its disgusting legs, puffed out its scalp and skittered nonchalantly toward him.
For the first time, Kyle had the urge to run, but his collarbone was rotting and his legs refused to move.
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