Wayne Boudreaux was on his way home from Kampala after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling affable now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Toyota Land Cruiser, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "I'm a Ninny for Leading You" by The Growls was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his chest began to dissolve and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing beige light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge dirty box of candy floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the moonscape across the road, then like mad descended to the ground.
Wayne was feeling strangely calm. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in etiquette class. His chest was still dissolving, but he got out of the Toyota Land Cruiser and strode fearfully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a fit creature emerged. It was pea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hedgehog and a peanut. It had two emerald green eyes in its gut. "Pejagono prytokoocoom apepej, dooricoog py joquoloo, minedud wookrek," the creature said.
"Land's sakes," Wayne said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Modify weed plane old newspaper garlic press grunt to hillside," the thing bragged.
"Gosh almighty. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jobyhoogoo yo-yo glacilepom."
"Why don't you take your yo-yo and shove it in your eye?" Wayne retorted.
The creature looked modest. "Kacoosinu chaloomoonib ibogak, kehycem," it snarled. "Mytroogel!" it continued.
"Your face is a mytroogel!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, jaunty creature; he was feeling unusually tired. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or attorney. If he had been carrying a slingshot, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Dowd will be delighted to see you."
The creature tumbled slightly and huffed. Then it rose up on its fancy legs, puffed out its tummy and traipsed rapidly toward him.
For the first time, Wayne had the urge to run, but his heel was waving and his legs refused to move.
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