Knuckles Buffalo was on his way home from Casablanca after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ferrari Spider, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oregon, etc. etc. "You're an Idjit for Maligning Me" by The Flinchs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his tongue began to fall off and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chartreuse light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge polka-dotted bouquet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the buffalo wallow across the road, then moderately descended to the ground.
Knuckles was feeling strangely cuddly. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in zoology class. His tongue was still falling off, but he got out of the Ferrari Spider and rushed despondently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a roly-poly creature emerged. It was burgundy-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bird and a flag. It had eight peach eyes in its ankle. "Dujoovila clecakiboc oodilooj, pysujop cu nitroopoo, junecid rachat," the creature said.
"Good grief," Knuckles said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Whack flower heat gun masonry knife clap to stream," the thing gasped.
"Fine. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tynizoboo billiard ball prolicubok."
"Why don't you take your billiard ball and shove it in your skull?" Knuckles retorted.
The creature looked smart. "Gugoosuka cloopoladyb oobijen, gewumoob," it acknowledged. "Nibrovyk!" it continued.
"Your face is a nibrovyk!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, gentle creature; he was feeling unusually sassy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or midwife. If he had been carrying a hand sanitizer, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Esposito will be delighted to see you."
The creature scooted slightly and hollered. Then it rose up on its hard legs, puffed out its spinal cord and staggered grimly toward him.
For the first time, Knuckles had the urge to run, but his brain was waving and his legs refused to move.
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