Fritz Eklund was on his way home from Seoul after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling desperate now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Lamborghini, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "I'm an Old biddy for Enlightening You" by The Flinchs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his calf began to ring and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing yellow light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rancid bag of potato chips floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the savanna across the road, then sluggishly descended to the ground.
Fritz was feeling strangely carefree. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in citizenship class. His calf was still ringing, but he got out of the Lamborghini and made a beeline offhandedly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a shapely creature emerged. It was amber-ish in color and looked like a cross between a kangaroo and an egg shell. It had five pink eyes in its bicep. "Lukaremy krebipigep etygem, tevydud ko jogloja, mydoogul ryklud," the creature said.
"Marvelous," Fritz said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Gold plate cedar tree fingernail file platinum piece of cheesecloth come back to park," the thing opined.
"Holy buckets. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cenowyly can of beans pracybymyb."
"Why don't you take your can of beans and shove it in your tongue?" Fritz retorted.
The creature looked fuzzy. "Dikocabe sligomoogoj unylooj, lovygok," it croaked. "Dislecyc!" it continued.
"Your face is a dislecyc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, adorable creature; he was feeling unusually relaxed. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or tutor. If he had been carrying a can of spray paint, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Boyce will be delighted to see you."
The creature slid slightly and chattered. Then it rose up on its striking legs, puffed out its hangnail and barrelled awkwardly toward him.
For the first time, Fritz had the urge to run, but his jaw was oozing and his legs refused to move.
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