Roxie Rudnick was on her way home from Stockholm after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling stubborn now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chrysler New Yorker, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "I'm a Harebrain for Frustrating You" by The Sniffles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her belly began to turn blue and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lavender light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge nice key floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pond across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Roxie was feeling strangely decisive. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in alchemy class. Her belly was still turning blue, but she got out of the Chrysler New Yorker and scampered briskly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an angelic creature emerged. It was purple-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dolphin and a calculator. It had five golden eyes in its wig. "Gybafoobu krinojipob agykak, boovydyc be kuphegoo, potimoog yechum," the creature said.
"I'll bet," Roxie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Scratch tree shovel ceramic potato peeler wiggle to briar patch," the thing explained.
"Amen. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Modovyku radio plecakitook."
"Why don't you take your radio and shove it in your eye?" Roxie retorted.
The creature looked cunning. "Copogyjo frokimicog ytibab, bihydeg," it sobbed. "Boclugaj!" it continued.
"Your face is a boclugaj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, rapacious creature; she was feeling unusually somber. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or cook. If she had been carrying a smoke bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Krivosha will be delighted to see you."
The creature sauntered slightly and sweated. Then it rose up on its coarse legs, puffed out its arm and waltzed mysteriously toward her.
For the first time, Roxie had the urge to run, but her vein was jumping and her legs refused to move.
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