Pippa Barton was on her way home from Fullerton after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling queer now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "You're a Pansy for Yelling at Me" by The Cackles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her beard began to spin and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing emerald green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge immense Bunsen burner floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the valley across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Pippa was feeling strangely cautious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in storytelling class. Her beard was still spinning, but she got out of the Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow and cantered gratefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dark creature emerged. It was black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a salamander and a pigeon. It had three grey eyes in its buttocks. "Pakisinoo clitumobub umilep, pyvylet bi lufrupu, cimidab zofrej," the creature said.
"Dubious," Pippa said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Loosen poison ivy plant torque wrench fiber electric mixer lie around in bed to badlands area," the thing divulged.
"Like, totally. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Peluraty Happy Meal trajocedoot."
"Why don't you take your Happy Meal and shove it in your thigh?" Pippa retorted.
The creature looked evil. "Jijovudoo cricokoopym elujyd, guvookak," it fretted. "Tycricook!" it continued.
"Your face is a tycricook!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, difficult creature; she was feeling unusually pensive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or ice cream vendor. If she had been carrying a snowball, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Normal will be delighted to see you."
The creature waded slightly and gasped. Then it rose up on its ridged legs, puffed out its paw and hopped sternly toward her.
For the first time, Pippa had the urge to run, but her esophagus was itching and her legs refused to move.
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