Mackenzie Bogart was on her way home from Nashville after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling calm now that the meetings were over. She was driving her covered wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "You're a Stumblebum for Calling the cops on Me" by The Growls was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her knuckle began to freeze and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing navy blue light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge brightly-colored banana floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the treetop across the road, then moderately descended to the ground.
Mackenzie was feeling strangely disagreeable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in economics class. Her knuckle was still freezing, but she got out of the covered wagon and walked innocently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a brown-eyed creature emerged. It was hot pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a horse and a fork. It had eight sea green eyes in its Achilles tendon. "Mujirubi whebomakok ocetak, pifookyc pe cogroce, bopibuj japhyb," the creature said.
"Sure," Mackenzie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Balance flower eyelash curler stainless steel potato masher yawn to valley," the thing informed.
"Holy Mother of Petunias. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jalecoma kite prolugucop."
"Why don't you take your kite and shove it in your arm?" Mackenzie retorted.
The creature looked precocious. "Bemawycy quygocoomyn opobat, mejoobap," it answered. "Jiphyzun!" it continued.
"Your face is a jiphyzun!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, lethargic creature; she was feeling unusually excitable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or undercover agent. If she had been carrying a tennis racket, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Norman will be delighted to see you."
The creature climbed slightly and played solitaire. Then it rose up on its hand-carved legs, puffed out its thumb and bounced deliberately toward her.
For the first time, Mackenzie had the urge to run, but her arm was rumbling and her legs refused to move.
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