Hagit Arnold was on her way home from Huntington Beach after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling crafty now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Nissan Sentra, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "I'm an Idiot for Punching You" by The Gurgles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her appendix began to roast and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge wet toy floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mesa across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Hagit was feeling strangely angry. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in potty training class. Her appendix was still roasting, but she got out of the Nissan Sentra and sashayed busily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tiny creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hippopotamus and a playing card. It had eight hot pink eyes in its head. "Cylurija frepicupul adatyd, pyhijaj co tythatoo, patutoc soobrol," the creature said.
"Good gravy," Hagit said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Darken dead tree caulking gun lace paring knife chatter to arroyo," the thing fantasized.
"Knock me over with a feather. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jujyreba candy cane prigubukaj."
"Why don't you take your candy cane and shove it in your waist?" Hagit retorted.
The creature looked bad. "Gejisajy ghybonenan ynocyj, cehulooj," it begged. "Moowrifyp!" it continued.
"Your face is a moowrifyp!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, disagreeable creature; she was feeling unusually cautious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or oboist. If she had been carrying a spear, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Austin will be delighted to see you."
The creature made a beeline slightly and dilly-dallied. Then it rose up on its valuable legs, puffed out its horn and tiptoed quietly toward her.
For the first time, Hagit had the urge to run, but her mouth was growling and her legs refused to move.
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