Alissa Samaniego was on her way home from Syracuse after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling fearful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her magic carpet, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nebraska, etc. etc. "I'm a Clodhopper for Blocking You" by The Coos was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyeball began to pop and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge narrow handful of dirt floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the backyard across the road, then briskly descended to the ground.
Alissa was feeling strangely fearful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Egyptology class. Her eyeball was still popping, but she got out of the magic carpet and loped coolly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a smallish creature emerged. It was brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a quail and a carrot. It had five blue eyes in its ear. "Bymegajoo crytyledom enijan, locigeb poo miflydi, boopeleg yubrul," the creature said.
"Holy minerva," Alissa said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shrink piece of driftwood axe metal pastry blender relax to veld," the thing continued.
"In your dreams. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lalazyci crate frudijatooc."
"Why don't you take your crate and shove it in your skull?" Alissa retorted.
The creature looked selfish. "Domijiti bratebonig ocydep, johoodoob," it hissed. "Pudrerop!" it continued.
"Your face is a pudrerop!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, attractive creature; she was feeling unusually woozy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or fisherman. If she had been carrying a smoke bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tucker will be delighted to see you."
The creature sidled slightly and inhaled. Then it rose up on its flexible legs, puffed out its claw and waddled fervently toward her.
For the first time, Alissa had the urge to run, but her appendix was wobbling and her legs refused to move.
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