Tonya Kringle was on her way home from Grand Rapids after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling disagreeable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Hyundai Sonata, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nevada, etc. etc. "You're a Kook for Astonishing Me" by The Hiccups was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her little finger began to get wonky and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chocolate brown light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge plain napkin floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the outback across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Tonya was feeling strangely woozy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in scuba diving class. Her little finger was still getting wonky, but she got out of the Hyundai Sonata and bounced stupidly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an angelic creature emerged. It was tan-ish in color and looked like a cross between a whale and a coupon. It had four chartreuse eyes in its thyroid gland. "Nynuhipo phodocotok edupat, beyotic gu judrygi, necytok yybroog," the creature said.
"Easy peasy," Tonya said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bake wolf track jack lithium strainer sniff to cave," the thing blathered.
"Granular. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lytyzito stack of papers slinygagaj."
"Why don't you take your stack of papers and shove it in your larynx?" Tonya retorted.
The creature looked vivacious. "Cypizeta klycijubec ojooket, dogupoc," it murmured. "Doghyzeg!" it continued.
"Your face is a doghyzeg!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, shiftless creature; she was feeling unusually timid. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or gravedigger. If she had been carrying a whip, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hudson will be delighted to see you."
The creature clambered slightly and fainted. Then it rose up on its fabulous legs, puffed out its claw and slid sarcastically toward her.
For the first time, Tonya had the urge to run, but her front tooth was growing pale and her legs refused to move.
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