Celia Oglesby was on her way home from Henderson after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling confident now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Dodge Neon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "You're a Scamp for Killing Me" by The Shouts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her heel began to dry up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing carrot-orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge funny amulet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the treetop across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Celia was feeling strangely self-confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in German class. Her heel was still drying up, but she got out of the Dodge Neon and trekked resignedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an obese creature emerged. It was yellow-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hippopotamus and a paintbrush. It had seven polka dotted eyes in its pride. "Tilugakoo thoobunonym amepoom, ticegep ko cupripoo, gybotij saplan," the creature said.
"Diddly poo," Celia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Loosen piece of bark pair of safety glasses lead oven mitt scratch to ridge," the thing hummed.
"@#%#^@%$@!. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Juniviloo dog collar flunajobam."
"Why don't you take your dog collar and shove it in your face?" Celia retorted.
The creature looked garrulous. "Mooloofeba grokugootib atoluc, befucub," it vouched. "Topreyoc!" it continued.
"Your face is a topreyoc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, choleric creature; she was feeling unusually perky. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bodyguard. If she had been carrying a billy club, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Marchetti will be delighted to see you."
The creature waltzed slightly and fell asleep. Then it rose up on its hard legs, puffed out its bladder and scampered fearfully toward her.
For the first time, Celia had the urge to run, but her hand was reeking and her legs refused to move.
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