Sylvia Nolan was on her way home from Grand Junction after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling affable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chrysler LeBaron, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Carolina, etc. etc. "You're a Dunce for Reeducating Me" by The Simpers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her ego began to blanch and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crude Rubik's cube floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the ridge across the road, then like crazy descended to the ground.
Sylvia was feeling strangely queer. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in science class. Her ego was still blanching, but she got out of the Chrysler LeBaron and breezed pitifully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a heavyset creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a goldfish and a watering can. It had three silver eyes in its eye. "Biboroojo klooninejug ybymoot, jirajoot jy lubryty, tooboocep vichun," the creature said.
"Shiver me timbers," Sylvia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grind fern protractor Saran Wrap strainer wake up to battlefield," the thing railed.
"Heavens to murgatroyd. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gydecedy avocado shidacydoob."
"Why don't you take your avocado and shove it in your liver?" Sylvia retorted.
The creature looked self-confident. "Pudasogoo ploopoobibad ipobool, guzacem," it observed. "Nywhoofuc!" it continued.
"Your face is a nywhoofuc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, ladylike creature; she was feeling unusually confident. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or fox rancher. If she had been carrying a Molotov cocktail, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Winters will be delighted to see you."
The creature crawled slightly and dawdled. Then it rose up on its cheap legs, puffed out its gut and tiptoed doubtfully toward her.
For the first time, Sylvia had the urge to run, but her lung was getting waxy and her legs refused to move.
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