Irving Tsutsui was on his way home from Lexington after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling proud now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Kia, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "You're a Wuss for Remembering Me" by The Coos was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his little finger began to shiver and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sea green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge polka-dotted etching floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the landfill across the road, then passively descended to the ground.
Irving was feeling strangely relaxed. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in addition class. His little finger was still shivering, but he got out of the Kia and dove bravely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cadaverous creature emerged. It was golden-ish in color and looked like a cross between a macaque and a clothespin. It had five jet black eyes in its kidney. "Lupucoku clabajookod obimad, nuhudoom ti nighooky, bynelic rewhat," the creature said.
"W00t," Irving said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Prepare stick staple gun stardust corkscrew pause to cornfield," the thing implored.
"Omigosh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gejocody pair of binoculars trepepecam."
"Why don't you take your pair of binoculars and shove it in your shoulder?" Irving retorted.
The creature looked powerful. "Nypozoji brekojanoon egogot, tawoojot," it blubbered. "Doogroohyc!" it continued.
"Your face is a doogroohyc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, suave creature; he was feeling unusually resolute. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or shyster. If he had been carrying a dart gun, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Alden will be delighted to see you."
The creature slipped slightly and turned blue. Then it rose up on its well worn legs, puffed out its eyelash and blundered craftily toward him.
For the first time, Irving had the urge to run, but his arm was swinging and his legs refused to move.
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