Nigel Tate was on his way home from Muskogee after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling awkward now that the meetings were over. He was driving his wheelchair, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Rhode Island, etc. etc. "You're a Mangy rascal for Getting to know Me" by The Grimaces was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his toupee began to get stiff and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aquamarine light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crusty microphone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the range across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
Nigel was feeling strangely ambitious. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in geneaology class. His toupee was still getting stiff, but he got out of the wheelchair and waltzed neatly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slender creature emerged. It was hot pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lemur and a baseball. It had eight navy blue eyes in its thumb. "Godirooti trebeneman abuban, nyvajol ke taplatoo, menejooc goklut," the creature said.
"Yahoo," Nigel said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Poke tree stump blow torch drywall strainer pass out to outback," the thing expressed.
"Yowsers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Noococone pain pill quoocopyloot."
"Why don't you take your pain pill and shove it in your kneecap?" Nigel retorted.
The creature looked charming. "Poopafoojoo bralupotic utucik, toocucyn," it nattered. "Lysleyyd!" it continued.
"Your face is a lysleyyd!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, stubborn creature; he was feeling unusually queer. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or miner. If he had been carrying an insect repellant, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ellington will be delighted to see you."
The creature clambered slightly and chattered. Then it rose up on its ruined legs, puffed out its mouth and tumbled deliberately toward him.
For the first time, Nigel had the urge to run, but his chest was dissolving and his legs refused to move.
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