Sanjay Werner was on his way home from Tokyo after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling hysterical now that the meetings were over. He was driving his GTO, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "I'm a Cretin for Wrestling with You" by The Laughs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his shoulder began to close down and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing scarlet light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge damaged bottle of painkillers floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cave across the road, then fleetly descended to the ground.
Sanjay was feeling strangely queer. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in entomology class. His shoulder was still closing down, but he got out of the GTO and hobbled unabashedly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a graceful creature emerged. It was blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cheetah and a Rubik's cube. It had six pink eyes in its face. "Mookusebe groodamygun onucyk, teyookooc cy mawredy, dijunam raploj," the creature said.
"Righto," Sanjay said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Interpret pine cone saw tile mixing spoon sleep to meadow," the thing recited.
"Bless my hide. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kategati trash can chopotaleg."
"Why don't you take your trash can and shove it in your little toe?" Sanjay retorted.
The creature looked amiable. "Kypawogy plajycilug okikid, cuganuj," it declared. "Cowrezeb!" it continued.
"Your face is a cowrezeb!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, wizened creature; he was feeling unusually fearful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or real estate investor. If he had been carrying a street sweeper, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Prang will be delighted to see you."
The creature sneaked slightly and ran away. Then it rose up on its huge legs, puffed out its back and hopped slowly toward him.
For the first time, Sanjay had the urge to run, but his skull was twirling and his legs refused to move.
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