Sissy Chopra was on her way home from Mexico City after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling resolute now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Volt, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "You're a Lamebrain for Dating Me" by The Curtsies was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her heart began to come loose and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing hot pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge nice pipe floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassy knoll across the road, then reluctantly descended to the ground.
Sissy was feeling strangely excitable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in underwater basket weaving class. Her heart was still coming loose, but she got out of the Chevy Volt and rushed lamely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sorrowful creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a frog and a can of shaving cream. It had six emerald green eyes in its hairdo. "Pebezemo crugoonugut yjujib, mooriguk mo kucroopo, libaned radran," the creature said.
"Big deal," Sissy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Face bear track nail gun pillow turkey baster hang around to hill," the thing gasped.
"Ah. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lujehooca iPad kloculypal."
"Why don't you take your iPad and shove it in your bladder?" Sissy retorted.
The creature looked rugged. "Toomayooba wretybiboog edojap, niroopel," it groaned. "Ludrihyg!" it continued.
"Your face is a ludrihyg!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, contented creature; she was feeling unusually dapper. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or delivery driver. If she had been carrying a blackjack, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Yager will be delighted to see you."
The creature tumbled slightly and cleared out. Then it rose up on its damp legs, puffed out its horn and danced boldly toward her.
For the first time, Sissy had the urge to run, but her lip was faltering and her legs refused to move.
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