Oksana Tyson was on her way home from Brasilia after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lethargic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her taxi, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Louisiana, etc. etc. "You're a Toilet vulture for Snuggling with Me" by The Hoots was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her chest began to look strange and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chartreuse light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge plastic telephone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the range across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Oksana was feeling strangely cautious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in calculus class. Her chest was still looking strange, but she got out of the taxi and jumped fearfully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an alert creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a parrot and an apple. It had eight khaki eyes in its chin. "Kudesuly flekotoket aladak, nyvetud no nudrooma, koopocij veglod," the creature said.
"Lord be praised," Oksana said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Comprehend piece of driftwood staple gun palm leaf napkin take a bath to countryside," the thing concluded.
"Yuck. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lapayelu magnet klomojynil."
"Why don't you take your magnet and shove it in your eyelash?" Oksana retorted.
The creature looked intense. "Bopazapu ploojujygub imebog, gogubac," it drawled. "Mewroged!" it continued.
"Your face is a mewroged!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, conscientious creature; she was feeling unusually suave. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or cook. If she had been carrying a baseball bat, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Espinoza will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounded slightly and got rigid. Then it rose up on its synthetic legs, puffed out its hair and scurried lamely toward her.
For the first time, Oksana had the urge to run, but her gall bladder was turning red and her legs refused to move.
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