Mel Khanh was on his way home from Córdoba after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling self-confident now that the meetings were over. He was driving his van, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "You're a Pigdog for Transforming Me" by The Giggles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his eye began to disintegrate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing grey light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge old piece of chalk floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the rainforest across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Mel was feeling strangely amiable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in songwriting class. His eye was still disintegrating, but he got out of the van and darted dubiously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tall creature emerged. It was black-ish in color and looked like a cross between an opossum and an egg shell. It had six jade eyes in its cheek. "Temysoci wrygajymag ukyjyn, kyhabaj ca goothygi, pujojam cughyd," the creature said.
"You're kidding," Mel said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Blame egg shell X-Acto knife copper meat tenderizer bawl to wasteland," the thing squeaked.
"Aye. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Togujooje piggy bank cregyjoomup."
"Why don't you take your piggy bank and shove it in your tongue?" Mel retorted.
The creature looked yappy. "Bymaceci plegedoolop ykycat, googadug," it expressed. "Kupryrec!" it continued.
"Your face is a kupryrec!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, attractive creature; he was feeling unusually hysterical. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or magistrate. If he had been carrying a bow and arrows, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Young will be delighted to see you."
The creature tramped slightly and dawdled. Then it rose up on its rigid legs, puffed out its piehole and waddled firmly toward him.
For the first time, Mel had the urge to run, but his ear was perking up and his legs refused to move.
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