Victoria Maxwell was on her way home from Oslo after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. She was driving her taxi, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "I'm a Loon for Dating You" by The Puckers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eye began to vex and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing metallic red light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge electronic contract floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mesa across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Victoria was feeling strangely decisive. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in songwriting class. Her eye was still vexing, but she got out of the taxi and went innocently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an albino creature emerged. It was ivory-ish in color and looked like a cross between a buffalo and a padlock. It had four teal eyes in its toupee. "Jykoridu cranypadap alyjut, tuhyloj my jecroobu, copucag gekroc," the creature said.
"Neato," Victoria said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Loosen raspberry bush jackhammer paper potato peeler dilly-dally to dumpster," the thing began.
"Ha-ha. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jyceyiboo stopwatch pratecoogug."
"Why don't you take your stopwatch and shove it in your big toe?" Victoria retorted.
The creature looked fashionable. "Loobyguci granidoojep adyjoog, kovujip," it wailed. "Migroojoon!" it continued.
"Your face is a migroojoon!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, intense creature; she was feeling unusually resolute. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or shyster. If she had been carrying a wooden stake, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Roe will be delighted to see you."
The creature tumbled slightly and panted. Then it rose up on its porcelain legs, puffed out its collarbone and pranced blindly toward her.
For the first time, Victoria had the urge to run, but her spleen was acting weird and her legs refused to move.
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