Dolores Parker was on her way home from Trenton after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling generous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Thunderbird, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "You're a Monkey for Boring Me" by The Chortles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her brain began to jump and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bizarre ingot of plutonium floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the glen across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
Dolores was feeling strangely disagreeable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in horticulture class. Her brain was still jumping, but she got out of the Thunderbird and crawled languidly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a white creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a puma and a playing card. It had six crimson eyes in its forehead. "Nuteyydy slakamytyb unyjen, gajagep go doocralu, catoopim widroon," the creature said.
"Diddly poo," Dolores said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Drench wildflower mop antimatter wooden spoon get upset to hill," the thing chanted.
"Ick. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Loopyjojy water bottle clygumigyl."
"Why don't you take your water bottle and shove it in your lip?" Dolores retorted.
The creature looked exuberant. "Cikoohime krolagogod oogoboc, guwyjob," it added. "Tagloosok!" it continued.
"Your face is a tagloosok!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, direct creature; she was feeling unusually self-confident. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or first grade teacher. If she had been carrying a scalpel, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Prater will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and freaked out. Then it rose up on its filthy legs, puffed out its belly button and swung fervently toward her.
For the first time, Dolores had the urge to run, but her tummy was jiggling and her legs refused to move.
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