Pamela Spooner was on her way home from Providence after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling woozy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her clown car, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wyoming, etc. etc. "You're a Sucker for Heckling Me" by The Wrinkled noses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her carotid artery began to look strange and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crisp football floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the tundra across the road, then double-time descended to the ground.
Pamela was feeling strangely confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in folklore class. Her carotid artery was still looking strange, but she got out of the clown car and galloped valiantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a large creature emerged. It was magenta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hawk and a rose. It had two jade eyes in its spleen. "Lutocaka frylocemuk odejul, gosebip dy nooproli, dakadool hoothen," the creature said.
"Sieg Heil," Pamela said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fry seed pod whisk broom lead candy thermometer bawl to desert," the thing blurted.
"Zowie. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nodihooco Band-aid ghimoocydoop."
"Why don't you take your Band-aid and shove it in your bladder?" Pamela retorted.
The creature looked sinister. "Jytufame floonookakap egipek, cegoogib," it rationalized. "Nicherab!" it continued.
"Your face is a nicherab!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, lively creature; she was feeling unusually suave. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or geologist. If she had been carrying an air horn, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McGee will be delighted to see you."
The creature slithered slightly and relaxed. Then it rose up on its modern legs, puffed out its hoof and flew furiously toward her.
For the first time, Pamela had the urge to run, but her foot was ossifying and her legs refused to move.
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