Mickey Baker was on his way home from Tripoli after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling tense now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Transit, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virginia, etc. etc. "I'm a Nincompoop for Embarrassing You" by The Belly laughs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his head began to break off and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing tan light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge shiny model airplane floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountaintop across the road, then reluctantly descended to the ground.
Mickey was feeling strangely peckish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in astronomy class. His head was still breaking off, but he got out of the Ford Transit and marched shyly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slick creature emerged. It was jet black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rabbit and a cardboard box. It had seven golden eyes in its dignity. "Bibiyooboo flabypikud umipoot, nacupab ma guproloo, gotokij sacred," the creature said.
"Drat," Mickey said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Polish stick garden hose Kevlar knife come back to moonscape," the thing clarified.
"Righto. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nadezyne purse crukigunic."
"Why don't you take your purse and shove it in your cheek?" Mickey retorted.
The creature looked careful. "Jookoohaki plylicotooc oogulaj, kuzitem," it accused. "Jachicup!" it continued.
"Your face is a jachicup!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, tall creature; he was feeling unusually excitable. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or usher. If he had been carrying a syringe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Caldwell will be delighted to see you."
The creature barrelled slightly and smiled. Then it rose up on its dry legs, puffed out its earlobe and crawled sadly toward him.
For the first time, Mickey had the urge to run, but his knee was getting soft and his legs refused to move.
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