Loreen Tinnerman was on her way home from Oceanside after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling fearful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her armored fighting vehicle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "I'm a Simpleton for Understanding You" by The Snorts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyelid began to darken and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing violet light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge thick paintbrush floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the prairie across the road, then hurriedly descended to the ground.
Loreen was feeling strangely cantankerous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in arithmetic class. Her eyelid was still darkening, but she got out of the armored fighting vehicle and darted viciously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lanky creature emerged. It was orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dachshund and a pencil. It had six camouflage eyes in its toe. "Lukifabi glimitumom elelool, livilob ki lycreboo, dudugig sephik," the creature said.
"WTF," Loreen said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Swipe apple tree X-Acto knife jewel meat thermometer itch to gulch," the thing articulated.
"Not on your life. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kibyyapy candy cane grudijegan."
"Why don't you take your candy cane and shove it in your spinal cord?" Loreen retorted.
The creature looked corpulent. "Tugogapi pritinymet ipumob, cowiban," it disputed. "Moobrasop!" it continued.
"Your face is a moobrasop!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, loving creature; she was feeling unusually lethargic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or model. If she had been carrying a mosquito net, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Knopf will be delighted to see you."
The creature climbed slightly and grunted. Then it rose up on its odd legs, puffed out its pride and dashed uneasily toward her.
For the first time, Loreen had the urge to run, but her piehole was warping and her legs refused to move.
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