Nicolas Simon was on his way home from Glasgow after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling tipsy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Nissan Leaf, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "I'm a 'noying for Seeing You" by The Woofs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his neck began to grow and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing carrot-orange light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge striped business card floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plain across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Nicolas was feeling strangely cautious. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in agriculture class. His neck was still growing, but he got out of the Nissan Leaf and darted grudgingly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bedraggled creature emerged. It was olive drab-ish in color and looked like a cross between a robot and a photograph. It had five green eyes in its Achilles tendon. "Nacafane pridukoodoop okoopac, moovoonooj ku gooshobo, putyjug zogleb," the creature said.
"Gads," Nicolas said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bake spider web powder puff sewage pair of tongs groan to oasis," the thing intoned.
"Never mind. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lukoovycy brochure phegymyden."
"Why don't you take your brochure and shove it in your ankle?" Nicolas retorted.
The creature looked enraged. "Lagivyke klodunikim icekoom, nesooboon," it comforted. "Coocluvoot!" it continued.
"Your face is a coocluvoot!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, moronic creature; he was feeling unusually tipsy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or locksmith. If he had been carrying a tomahawk, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Lucas will be delighted to see you."
The creature sneaked slightly and relaxed. Then it rose up on its ragged legs, puffed out its jaw and reeled innocently toward him.
For the first time, Nicolas had the urge to run, but his eyelash was getting tired and his legs refused to move.
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