André Smiley was on his way home from Huntsville after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling hysterical now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Toyota Corolla, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Missouri, etc. etc. "I'm a Cootieface for Irritating You" by The Twitches was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his Achilles tendon began to twitch and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aqua light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge new china doll floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cesspool across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
André was feeling strangely decisive. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Spanish class. His Achilles tendon was still twitching, but he got out of the Toyota Corolla and tumbled menacingly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an elderly creature emerged. It was aquamarine-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Doberman and a stapler. It had two red eyes in its cheek. "Lapyfyjo drumomynaj akycuk, kizoojool by mikluci, dagodaj heslyp," the creature said.
"Banzai," André said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Close fish welding torch glass candy thermometer snort to canyon," the thing worried.
"Unbelievable. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kyluratu bottle of painkillers ghecomugup."
"Why don't you take your bottle of painkillers and shove it in your carotid artery?" André retorted.
The creature looked modest. "Nediryki flyboojoojud oocajook, lociloj," it suggested. "Mushahud!" it continued.
"Your face is a mushahud!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, pensive creature; he was feeling unusually sarcastic. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or surveyor. If he had been carrying a tennis racket, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Parker will be delighted to see you."
The creature scooted slightly and flinched. Then it rose up on its ruined legs, puffed out its ankle and waddled carefully toward him.
For the first time, André had the urge to run, but his big toe was turning red and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter