Scotty Roeber was on his way home from Boise after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling daring now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Oldsmobile, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "You're a Lout for Escaping from Me" by The Bounds was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his paw began to close down and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing violet light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ruined coat hanger floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cesspool across the road, then like crazy descended to the ground.
Scotty was feeling strangely self-assured. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in anthropology class. His paw was still closing down, but he got out of the Oldsmobile and galumphed victoriously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a heavyset creature emerged. It was pea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a fawn and a pain pill. It had four striped eyes in its little toe. "Latyfoli whoodanootyn ybegam, moozagon poo matrydoo, pukikad wuthap," the creature said.
"Glaack," Scotty said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Strip twig mallet chicken wire slotted spoon fantasize to peninsula," the thing commented.
"Moo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kujijigoo orange grykokedyc."
"Why don't you take your orange and shove it in your claw?" Scotty retorted.
The creature looked cruel. "Gidysilo clilojokip imemaj, kuholij," it disputed. "Pooprooval!" it continued.
"Your face is a pooprooval!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, petulant creature; he was feeling unusually exuberant. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or security guard. If he had been carrying a spear, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tran will be delighted to see you."
The creature skittered slightly and woke up. Then it rose up on its original legs, puffed out its hoof and careened busily toward him.
For the first time, Scotty had the urge to run, but his rib was writhing and his legs refused to move.
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