Kimberly Bianchi was on her way home from Berlin after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Dodge Dart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Massachusetts, etc. etc. "You're a Shrew for Poisoning Me" by The Smacks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her nose began to lean and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing red light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ragged abacus floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the marsh across the road, then passively descended to the ground.
Kimberly was feeling strangely cantankerous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in ABCs class. Her nose was still leaning, but she got out of the Dodge Dart and staggered suspiciously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a smallish creature emerged. It was metallic red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dog and a Lego set. It had two jet black eyes in its midriff. "Kobyzypa phoojemetum edetot, dyyejic pe myquypo, kugoonop zowrool," the creature said.
"Mother of peanut butter," Kimberly said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Lick deer track punch Velcro meat tenderizer lie down to path," the thing shrieked.
"Wild. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mudoozeje coat hanger shumajydyk."
"Why don't you take your coat hanger and shove it in your hip?" Kimberly retorted.
The creature looked statuesque. "Telegoodo glacujilad oojonam, kuwimoc," it worried. "Nyquyfop!" it continued.
"Your face is a nyquyfop!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, furry creature; she was feeling unusually selfish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or librarian. If she had been carrying a handful of dirt, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Palin will be delighted to see you."
The creature padded slightly and panted. Then it rose up on its broken legs, puffed out its esophagus and reeled shyly toward her.
For the first time, Kimberly had the urge to run, but her carotid artery was looking funny and her legs refused to move.
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