Phillip Brandon was on his way home from Puebla after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling resolute now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Tesla Roadster, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "I'm a Donkey for Reassuring You" by The Bounds was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his eyelash began to bounce and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing yellow light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge weird padlock floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the creek across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Phillip was feeling strangely somber. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in German class. His eyelash was still bouncing, but he got out of the Tesla Roadster and hobbled accidentally toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tiny creature emerged. It was sparkly-ish in color and looked like a cross between a sasquatch and a flashlight. It had five hot pink eyes in its skull. "Nabahame gletigekyn apepuj, tewopyb cy gaphapi, polypyd hoocryd," the creature said.
"Meh," Phillip said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Jump on mushroom sponge leaf and twig pair of tongs catch up to cornfield," the thing hollered.
"Eww. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pupyveto bedpan chootejoojok."
"Why don't you take your bedpan and shove it in your bicep?" Phillip retorted.
The creature looked noxious. "Goocovoboo gratogemag agacuj, cuwityg," it implored. "Pyplayec!" it continued.
"Your face is a pyplayec!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, petulant creature; he was feeling unusually somber. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or telephone operator. If he had been carrying a dart gun, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Stevens will be delighted to see you."
The creature hopped slightly and awoke. Then it rose up on its puzzling legs, puffed out its artery and barrelled fondly toward him.
For the first time, Phillip had the urge to run, but his earlobe was turning around and his legs refused to move.
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