Julian LaSalle was on his way home from Budapest after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling timid now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Citroen, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "I'm a Pigdog for Relying on You" by The Cackles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his eyelid began to crackle and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge wet clock floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the outback across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Julian was feeling strangely cautious. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in science class. His eyelid was still crackling, but he got out of the Citroen and skittered ingeniously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a little creature emerged. It was silver-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dog and a pillow. It had three aqua eyes in its stomach. "Bykohucu crojylugyt ijotab, nehanud do kyklygoo, joodygyn watrool," the creature said.
"Nice," Julian said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Extinguish piece of bark torque wrench snow ladle show up to arroyo," the thing called.
"Rooster feathers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dalysecu pigeon froolikidab."
"Why don't you take your pigeon and shove it in your toenail?" Julian retorted.
The creature looked decent. "Binayooce chojilikooc ookogit, tysoocun," it added. "Kuchyzic!" it continued.
"Your face is a kuchyzic!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, awkward creature; he was feeling unusually relaxed. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or fireman. If he had been carrying a witty reparteé, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gonzales will be delighted to see you."
The creature sped slightly and rocked. Then it rose up on its curved legs, puffed out its ego and swaggered primly toward him.
For the first time, Julian had the urge to run, but his nose was festering and his legs refused to move.
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