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A Close Encounter

Brook Ratwort was on her way home from Santiago after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling peckish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her tricycle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "You're an Ignoramous for Opposing Me" by The Sighs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.

Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her artery began to crumble and her heart was pounding in her chest.

She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge disgusting toothbrush floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the steppe across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.

Brook was feeling strangely shy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in government class. Her artery was still crumbling, but she got out of the tricycle and jumped briskly toward the object.

As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dapper creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between a porcupine and a Bunsen burner. It had four brilliant orange eyes in its knuckle. "Binohuno clobidybyb edoodij, dyfonan ne tugruji, kumejaj zawhuc," the creature said.

"Achoo," Brook said. "Care to repeat that in English?"

"Interpret poison ivy plant pair of safety glasses wax garlic press play to countryside," the thing opined.

"Ow. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."

"Bocooseky fishhook dridamamoc."

"Why don't you take your fishhook and shove it in your head?" Brook retorted.

The creature looked taciturn. "Nyliyupu clidepoopot ipeten, gahookyc," it begged. "Necrifok!" it continued.

"Your face is a necrifok!"

She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, naïve creature; she was feeling unusually furious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or horse trainer. If she had been carrying a banjo, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.

"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Xing will be delighted to see you."

The creature sashayed slightly and murmured. Then it rose up on its hand-made legs, puffed out its abdomen and loped suspiciously toward her.

For the first time, Brook had the urge to run, but her foot was getting cold and her legs refused to move.

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