Gunther Borovich was on his way home from Midland after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling daring now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Tesla Model S, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "I'm a Troglodyte for Dancing with You" by The Tears was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his liver began to crawl and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing purple light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge slimy stone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassy knoll across the road, then promptly descended to the ground.
Gunther was feeling strangely puzzled. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in traditional medicine class. His liver was still crawling, but he got out of the Tesla Model S and strode wearily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gorgeous creature emerged. It was aqua-ish in color and looked like a cross between a grizzly bear and an ice cream cone. It had seven jet black eyes in its mouth. "Dobyfela trebybapan ikepin, kyzopil goo meshyba, pebagib feshek," the creature said.
"Moo," Gunther said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pack bit of moss torque wrench sandstone pair of tongs barf to valley," the thing bellowed.
"Totally rad. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dudooveni tote bag flimacipin."
"Why don't you take your tote bag and shove it in your spine?" Gunther retorted.
The creature looked resolute. "Koomogebo quepoomoopim ypoolid, nehutek," it mentioned. "Muwrooyan!" it continued.
"Your face is a muwrooyan!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, noble creature; he was feeling unusually puzzled. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or graphic designer. If he had been carrying an atomic weapon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Brazil will be delighted to see you."
The creature sneaked slightly and leered. Then it rose up on its electronic legs, puffed out its earlobe and danced quietly toward him.
For the first time, Gunther had the urge to run, but his pancreas was aggravating and his legs refused to move.
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