Kenneth Mittal was on his way home from Billings after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling affable now that the meetings were over. He was driving his rocket, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "I'm a Fool for Quarreling with You" by The Bounds was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his midriff began to explode and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing blue light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge nice Big Gulp floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the glen across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Kenneth was feeling strangely calm. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in cartography class. His midriff was still exploding, but he got out of the rocket and tramped victoriously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a short creature emerged. It was indigo-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gila monster and a stuffed bunny. It had six violet eyes in its wig. "Nycuvoju franatinym ilomeb, musabon to kafrapo, celutyp zoslob," the creature said.
"Son of a Baptist preacher," Kenneth said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Understand fern wire brush root grater knit to hill," the thing sneered.
"Ick. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mikeheti Rubik's cube clukipodyb."
"Why don't you take your Rubik's cube and shove it in your ego?" Kenneth retorted.
The creature looked unselfish. "Lekucugu plymebybet ujonoon, tejolool," it comforted. "Pegrahoom!" it continued.
"Your face is a pegrahoom!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, mindless creature; he was feeling unusually hysterical. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or village idiot. If he had been carrying a charm, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Lopez will be delighted to see you."
The creature staggered slightly and burped. Then it rose up on its ornate legs, puffed out its Achilles tendon and sashayed uneasily toward him.
For the first time, Kenneth had the urge to run, but his throat was wiggling and his legs refused to move.
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