Cassie Harmon was on her way home from Saõ Paulo after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling selfish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagen Jetta, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Utah, etc. etc. "I'm a Lob-dotterel for Doubting You" by The Bows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her beard began to twitch and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing blue light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge plastic top floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the oasis across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Cassie was feeling strangely thoughtful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in literature class. Her beard was still twitching, but she got out of the Volkswagen Jetta and careened sweetly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an unkempt creature emerged. It was teal-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tarantula and a barbell. It had four azure eyes in its knuckle. "Domujygu sligikutoot elolol, jooyekib ko poosloko, loodoobut veflub," the creature said.
"Ahem," Cassie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Rock pine cone pair of safety glasses cellophane basting brush vomit to beach," the thing complained.
"Grrrrr. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kekoohuje magnet brekulelem."
"Why don't you take your magnet and shove it in your finger?" Cassie retorted.
The creature looked cantankerous. "Potyjogo glykyjakoop anekoob, noosoonal," it wept. "Piplyhym!" it continued.
"Your face is a piplyhym!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, obnoxious creature; she was feeling unusually decisive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or drunkard. If she had been carrying a grenade launcher, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sledge will be delighted to see you."
The creature zoomed slightly and clapped. Then it rose up on its dry legs, puffed out its eyelash and straggled daringly toward her.
For the first time, Cassie had the urge to run, but her heart was crawling and her legs refused to move.
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