Shane Coons was on his way home from Buenos Aires after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling sassy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Cadillac, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Iowa, etc. etc. "You're a Vile viper for Relying on Me" by The Hugs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his pinky began to sink and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing teal light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge luxurious magnifying glass floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plateau across the road, then hastily descended to the ground.
Shane was feeling strangely thoughtful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in journalism class. His pinky was still sinking, but he got out of the Cadillac and jogged crossly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blushing creature emerged. It was green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a llama and a houseplant. It had six azure eyes in its front tooth. "Pogerucu chinijobuk ojooged, cevymoj lo cyclynoo, dymabik cooploot," the creature said.
"Far out, man," Shane said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Extend tree stump trowel platinum melon baller jerk to prairie," the thing acknowledged.
"Ka-ching. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gydafuji bugle chapomupom."
"Why don't you take your bugle and shove it in your jaw?" Shane retorted.
The creature looked furry. "Tobareka ghoonoojapil oonolyk, jafecooj," it pointed out. "Newhacyt!" it continued.
"Your face is a newhacyt!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, shifty creature; he was feeling unusually thoughtful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or interpreter. If he had been carrying a wrench, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Minturn will be delighted to see you."
The creature made a beeline slightly and stared. Then it rose up on its gigantic legs, puffed out its lung and sneaked urgently toward him.
For the first time, Shane had the urge to run, but his shin was flaring up and his legs refused to move.
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