Merna Zimmerman was on her way home from Saint Louis after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling relaxed now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagon Beetle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maryland, etc. etc. "I'm a Jerk for Befuddling You" by The Gasps was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her little toe began to slip and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge plain vase floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the canyon across the road, then heavily descended to the ground.
Merna was feeling strangely suave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in calculus class. Her little toe was still slipping, but she got out of the Volkswagon Beetle and traipsed courteously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sleek creature emerged. It was purple-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gorilla and a crate. It had seven polka dotted eyes in its femur. "Mynoorooby quukoomubot ujoodan, doojoopek no gogruje, kimemoot sethed," the creature said.
"Quiet," Merna said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Check flower woodworker's clamp beeswax blender scream to stream," the thing intimated.
"Out of this world. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mygicecu fire hose glukoolooneb."
"Why don't you take your fire hose and shove it in your carotid artery?" Merna retorted.
The creature looked tense. "Nygahypoo clojoocogab anukal, kayikin," it prattled. "Dycrefod!" it continued.
"Your face is a dycrefod!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sensible creature; she was feeling unusually proud. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or diver. If she had been carrying a whip, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Mitchell will be delighted to see you."
The creature crept slightly and rocked. Then it rose up on its imported legs, puffed out its hair and careened crossly toward her.
For the first time, Merna had the urge to run, but her foot was shrinking and her legs refused to move.
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