Seema Backus was on her way home from Pittsburgh after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lazy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Lincoln Town Car, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Mississippi, etc. etc. "I'm a Cootieface for Seeing You" by The Guffaws was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her waist began to freak out and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aqua light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge coarse peach floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the creek across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Seema was feeling strangely maniacal. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in scuba diving class. Her waist was still freaking out, but she got out of the Lincoln Town Car and straggled awkwardly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a muscular creature emerged. It was terra cotta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a prairie dog and a cigarette. It had four indigo eyes in its pride. "Dumyjalu wramoogoodel oonujon, doovigyg lu cooprijoo, ligocak hiprod," the creature said.
"Ouch," Seema said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Engrave tree branch feather duster foil basting brush get sleepy to steppe," the thing hinted.
"Jeepers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Literyga Rubik's cube glukopadyg."
"Why don't you take your Rubik's cube and shove it in your brain?" Seema retorted.
The creature looked prissy. "Nydoyepa prekycoonil ykidym, kahejik," it chattered. "Japhoovom!" it continued.
"Your face is a japhoovom!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, lively creature; she was feeling unusually desperate. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or comedian. If she had been carrying a bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bronner will be delighted to see you."
The creature stalked slightly and grumbled. Then it rose up on its queer legs, puffed out its hairdo and swung impatiently toward her.
For the first time, Seema had the urge to run, but her face was spreading and her legs refused to move.
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