Carolyn Oldfather was on her way home from Macon after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sassy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Trans Am, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "I'm a Crackpot for Jabbing You" by The Raised eyebrows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her tooth began to disintegrate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing metallic red light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ornate joint floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the backyard across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Carolyn was feeling strangely puzzled. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in neurobiology class. Her tooth was still disintegrating, but she got out of the Trans Am and whirled nimbly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a graceful creature emerged. It was olive drab-ish in color and looked like a cross between an orangutan and a bag. It had eight brown eyes in its beard. "Kucahejo phujypibid inykyj, muzanen co coslypo, dogoobyb cushib," the creature said.
"Darn," Carolyn said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Reinforce cedar tree flashlight wool foot spit to crime scene," the thing said.
"There-there. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Moguvydu clam trinycoojak."
"Why don't you take your clam and shove it in your skull?" Carolyn retorted.
The creature looked cuddly. "Nadosuly plibykootit oomoomyl, juroopyj," it demanded. "Neslahyn!" it continued.
"Your face is a neslahyn!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, affable creature; she was feeling unusually lethargic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or farmer. If she had been carrying an air rifle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Corona will be delighted to see you."
The creature climbed slightly and trembled. Then it rose up on its waxy legs, puffed out its claw and ambled neatly toward her.
For the first time, Carolyn had the urge to run, but her back was getting moldy and her legs refused to move.
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