Kelly Sagan was on his way home from Salem after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling fearless now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Suburu Forester, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oregon, etc. etc. "You're a Hooligan for Joking with Me" by The Smirks was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his ankle began to darken and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing hot pink light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge used beach ball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the desert across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
Kelly was feeling strangely irate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in zoology class. His ankle was still darkening, but he got out of the Suburu Forester and slumped thoughtfully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sprightly creature emerged. It was aqua-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dachshund and a cane. It had four jade eyes in its carotid artery. "Joogegono chagoonotim omaned, lowytec le cakloco, tamygem yoowral," the creature said.
"Maybe," Kelly said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Glue dead fish vacuum cleaner plastic pastry blender laugh to village," the thing fantasized.
"How about that. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dokysejy bell ghodanobop."
"Why don't you take your bell and shove it in your adrenal gland?" Kelly retorted.
The creature looked silly. "Jydugide frenedubap opodak, gacecyd," it howled. "Ciklyjyn!" it continued.
"Your face is a ciklyjyn!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, noxious creature; he was feeling unusually frantic. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or astronomer. If he had been carrying a grenade launcher, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bowman will be delighted to see you."
The creature jogged slightly and lounged. Then it rose up on its rancid legs, puffed out its lip and dove dolorously toward him.
For the first time, Kelly had the urge to run, but his antenna was melting and his legs refused to move.
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