Pearl Finney was on her way home from Vancouver after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tense now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Toyota Camry, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "You're an Old buzzard for Boring Me" by The Jeers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her big toe began to open up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aqua light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge woven etching floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the rainforest across the road, then speedily descended to the ground.
Pearl was feeling strangely crafty. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in etiquette class. Her big toe was still opening up, but she got out of the Toyota Camry and careened stupidly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a disheveled creature emerged. It was chocolate brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hippopotamus and a playing card. It had three red eyes in its kneecap. "Dumegape quucoocipec ynucup, loowupan be mufroolo, takypoom vooplel," the creature said.
"Shucks," Pearl said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Wax dead fish staple gun rubber electric paint mixer pray to village," the thing articulated.
"Diddly bunk. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Goligiky stick of gum slamumokub."
"Why don't you take your stick of gum and shove it in your spleen?" Pearl retorted.
The creature looked generous. "Tygyvoogoo wrypojedooj oogocup, booyyjag," it asked. "Pooklyyud!" it continued.
"Your face is a pooklyyud!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, witty creature; she was feeling unusually perky. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or stenographer. If she had been carrying a camera, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Custer will be delighted to see you."
The creature sashayed slightly and flushed. Then it rose up on its brittle legs, puffed out its carotid artery and leapt slyly toward her.
For the first time, Pearl had the urge to run, but her little finger was turning green and her legs refused to move.
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