Erwin Frankle was on his way home from Tokyo after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling suave now that the meetings were over. He was driving his city bus, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Louisiana, etc. etc. "I'm a Beast for Grilling You" by The Titters was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his neck began to get emotional and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lavender light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge charming amulet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the valley across the road, then leadenly descended to the ground.
Erwin was feeling strangely amiable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in astrophysics class. His neck was still getting emotional, but he got out of the city bus and skittered mysteriously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blushing creature emerged. It was beige-ish in color and looked like a cross between a walrus and a bird bath. It had four brown eyes in its fingernail. "Tokygugi bropugooden oobimum, mogyjooc boo mysloodoo, bimajooc joowhat," the creature said.
"Unbelievable," Erwin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Gold plate weed mop wire knife fall asleep to plateau," the thing howled.
"I think not. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lycuwopo cotton ball glupedonet."
"Why don't you take your cotton ball and shove it in your elbow?" Erwin retorted.
The creature looked furious. "Dymagyka phegimoonop etonit, tegubeg," it rationalized. "Kybrujik!" it continued.
"Your face is a kybrujik!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, selfish creature; he was feeling unusually cruel. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or village idiot. If he had been carrying a branding iron, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Cheetham will be delighted to see you."
The creature waded slightly and danced. Then it rose up on its frilly legs, puffed out its palm and whirled glumly toward him.
For the first time, Erwin had the urge to run, but his eyebrow was turning blue and his legs refused to move.
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