Jay Stoker was on his way home from New Orleans after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling distressed now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Subaru, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kentucky, etc. etc. "You're a Quacker for Complimenting Me" by The Power fists was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his skin began to close down and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing terra cotta light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge porcelain flag floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountain across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
Jay was feeling strangely resolute. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in electronics class. His skin was still closing down, but he got out of the Subaru and scooted speedily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a chubby creature emerged. It was rose-ish in color and looked like a cross between a deer and a bag of ice. It had five polka dotted eyes in its big toe. "Conisobo thedujapim ygujoop, poocilim jo legrudu, koojoocyb goclat," the creature said.
"By all the saints at the backside door of purgatory," Jay said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Dispose of twig compass rubble meat tenderizer smile to peninsula," the thing blubbered.
"Quiet. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dynoridi twig thecegajug."
"Why don't you take your twig and shove it in your knee?" Jay retorted.
The creature looked prickly. "Tabezipu sheloopykool ogooben, muganan," it yowled. "Tiwrafig!" it continued.
"Your face is a tiwrafig!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, naïve creature; he was feeling unusually brash. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or inventor. If he had been carrying a can of pepper spray, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tyson will be delighted to see you."
The creature tumbled slightly and played solitaire. Then it rose up on its huge legs, puffed out its calf and scurried ignobly toward him.
For the first time, Jay had the urge to run, but his earlobe was blanching and his legs refused to move.
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