Celia Marsden was on her way home from Rapid City after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling resolute now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Kia, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "I'm a Sucker for Scratching You" by The Furrowed brows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her back began to turn yellow and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge used tube of toothpaste floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cave across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
Celia was feeling strangely cantankerous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in math class. Her back was still turning yellow, but she got out of the Kia and skipped glumly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cadaverous creature emerged. It was white-ish in color and looked like a cross between a kangaroo and a backpack. It had five khaki eyes in its tail. "Lykoosume wroopemejud atenem, pycoojac ta bikryla, dybukun vykrep," the creature said.
"Sheesh," Celia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Identify tree stump flashlight balsa electric paint mixer clatter to crime scene," the thing decided.
"Hold your horses. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lanofopoo soccer ball briloocamap."
"Why don't you take your soccer ball and shove it in your nose?" Celia retorted.
The creature looked dignified. "Cebivoonu slygoogukip icomeb, loosybec," it professed. "Matrovud!" it continued.
"Your face is a matrovud!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, radiant creature; she was feeling unusually fiendish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or communist. If she had been carrying a tomahawk, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hill will be delighted to see you."
The creature jogged slightly and froze. Then it rose up on its peculiar legs, puffed out its wig and tramped slyly toward her.
For the first time, Celia had the urge to run, but her pride was looking funny and her legs refused to move.
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