Perry Montoya was on his way home from Garden Grove after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling carefree now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Volkswagon Golf, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Worm for Recoiling from Me" by The Tears was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his hip began to undulate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing salmon light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge synthetic etching floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the circus tent across the road, then like mad descended to the ground.
Perry was feeling strangely confident. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in hair dressing class. His hip was still undulating, but he got out of the Volkswagon Golf and sneaked gruffly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pallid creature emerged. It was pea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dinosaur and a pair of fuzzy dice. It had three brown eyes in its abdomen. "Gonyvojo clejonekup ybijeg, bafogyb jo cuwhule, dolymul jyfryn," the creature said.
"Shazam," Perry said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Wax bit of moss hammer banana leaves bare foot watch to hillside," the thing queried.
"Cowabunga. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Galycobi cage froojopamak."
"Why don't you take your cage and shove it in your little toe?" Perry retorted.
The creature looked heavyset. "Joguruku broocypagym enocin, dysibil," it noted. "Dygryhyj!" it continued.
"Your face is a dygryhyj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, sincere creature; he was feeling unusually ambitious. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or teacher. If he had been carrying a boomerang, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hopper will be delighted to see you."
The creature tiptoed slightly and glared. Then it rose up on its woven legs, puffed out its arm and stalked caustically toward him.
For the first time, Perry had the urge to run, but his hairdo was lining up and his legs refused to move.
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