Victoria Bluestein was on her way home from Madrid after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tipsy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her convertible, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "I'm a Pook for Castigating You" by The Shouts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyelash began to peel and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chartreuse light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge narrow letter jacket floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the river across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Victoria was feeling strangely self-assured. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in programming class. Her eyelash was still peeling, but she got out of the convertible and tramped sleepily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dashing creature emerged. It was indigo-ish in color and looked like a cross between a camel and a pom-pom. It had seven salmon eyes in its antenna. "Gylazylu wrudypogook ybujyj, dafukoog poo pofrojy, mytynud sutrul," the creature said.
"Turn blue," Victoria said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Forget dead tree hand saw Saran Wrap pair of tongs grin to tundra," the thing howled.
"My land. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nybasily book ghuculugom."
"Why don't you take your book and shove it in your stomach?" Victoria retorted.
The creature looked contented. "Goojewaby thakoogecag upukok, geseled," it prattled. "Pybragoog!" it continued.
"Your face is a pybragoog!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, unselfish creature; she was feeling unusually shy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or web guru. If she had been carrying a six-shooter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Craven will be delighted to see you."
The creature galloped slightly and daydreamed. Then it rose up on its charming legs, puffed out its paw and trekked fiercely toward her.
For the first time, Victoria had the urge to run, but her tooth was humming and her legs refused to move.
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