Eppie Woolsey was on her way home from Chattanooga after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling timid now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Caprice, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Indiana, etc. etc. "I'm a Fruitcake for Shaking You" by The Grimaces was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her spleen began to curve and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge flexible pink flamingo floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the river across the road, then passively descended to the ground.
Eppie was feeling strangely distressed. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in painting class. Her spleen was still curving, but she got out of the Chevy Caprice and scampered impatiently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cute creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Doberman and a fire hose. It had three red eyes in its hairdo. "Cypefoca fragoopanel ilolin, duvimit pe tychymo, nalolod hitran," the creature said.
"Goodness me," Eppie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grasp badger hole paintbrush plaster of Paris pastry blender primp to seashore," the thing sneered.
"Lordy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gynoojoodi bag of popcorn klodynylin."
"Why don't you take your bag of popcorn and shove it in your lip?" Eppie retorted.
The creature looked monstrous. "Poojufubu klygobanip etamym, nevonooc," it reacted. "Pyprecon!" it continued.
"Your face is a pyprecon!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, agile creature; she was feeling unusually decisive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or gunsmith. If she had been carrying a lifesaver, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Quick will be delighted to see you."
The creature flew slightly and scratched. Then it rose up on its striking legs, puffed out its spleen and sprinted boisterously toward her.
For the first time, Eppie had the urge to run, but her hand was tightening up and her legs refused to move.
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