Pinky Anderson was on his way home from Montgomery after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Lincoln, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Rhode Island, etc. etc. "You're a Hooligan for Complimenting Me" by The Hiccups was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his ego began to soften and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lime-green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge musty six-pack floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the canyon across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Pinky was feeling strangely confident. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in mathematics class. His ego was still softening, but he got out of the Lincoln and sailed lazily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bearded creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gorilla and a hot potato. It had five sparkly eyes in its skull. "Kecihapu phoocybajyc ootypol, kuwotud ke lobrebe, moojadyj yoodrit," the creature said.
"Ho hum," Pinky said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Poke twig piece of sandpaper styrofoam dull knife fantasize to forest," the thing yawned.
"Woof. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jujoyani mushroom plinoonumooc."
"Why don't you take your mushroom and shove it in your hair?" Pinky retorted.
The creature looked intelligent. "Dopayeta whymypenoog epunul, nyripoot," it whimpered. "Kuplyyab!" it continued.
"Your face is a kuplyyab!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, silly creature; he was feeling unusually irate. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or firefighter. If he had been carrying a catheter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Mittal will be delighted to see you."
The creature blundered slightly and got along. Then it rose up on its bronze legs, puffed out its paw and galumphed timidly toward him.
For the first time, Pinky had the urge to run, but his pituitary gland was going numb and his legs refused to move.
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