Brittany Snitley was on her way home from Baltimore after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling brave now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Subaru, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "You're a Scurvy dog for Forgetting Me" by The Grunts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her big toe began to twist and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge greasy stuffed bunny floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cave across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Brittany was feeling strangely petulant. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in French class. Her big toe was still twisting, but she got out of the Subaru and rolled obediently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a youthful creature emerged. It was beige-ish in color and looked like a cross between a grizzly bear and a pacifier. It had seven indigo eyes in its earlobe. "Paberegy flakajoobooc ylamek, micetam co tokrymu, kedimyt codrig," the creature said.
"I doubt it," Brittany said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bite dead fish scraper lace turkey baster dawdle to steppe," the thing panted.
"By Jove. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lecurety boomerang wrudykekop."
"Why don't you take your boomerang and shove it in your thumb?" Brittany retorted.
The creature looked fashionable. "Goonahamoo trycugypuj udepyn, tyheduk," it voiced. "Boflevun!" it continued.
"Your face is a boflevun!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sassy creature; she was feeling unusually self-assured. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or real estate investor. If she had been carrying a baseball bat, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President DeGraff will be delighted to see you."
The creature slipped slightly and grew up. Then it rose up on its grubby legs, puffed out its front tooth and slid boisterously toward her.
For the first time, Brittany had the urge to run, but her thigh was undulating and her legs refused to move.
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