Shawna Mars was on her way home from Athens after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling furious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her dog cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Carolina, etc. etc. "I'm a Punk for Suspending You" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her little finger began to overheat and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge delicate cactus plant floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassy knoll across the road, then leadenly descended to the ground.
Shawna was feeling strangely peckish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in meteorology class. Her little finger was still overheating, but she got out of the dog cart and lurched languidly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gaunt creature emerged. It was beige-ish in color and looked like a cross between a polar bear and a calculator. It had three indigo eyes in its tummy. "Butejoomy frudetotyc oojilam, loofunib li jikroni, jubudoc vushoj," the creature said.
"Piffle," Shawna said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Play with pine cone axe maple corkscrew shrivel to rainforest," the thing bawled.
"Bingo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jykoofuju piece of chalk phoolylekim."
"Why don't you take your piece of chalk and shove it in your back?" Shawna retorted.
The creature looked difficult. "Lyjereku glymytolyt oomimod, gejetoop," it shouted. "Kybroofim!" it continued.
"Your face is a kybroofim!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, athletic creature; she was feeling unusually perky. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or vacuum cleaner salesman. If she had been carrying an insect repellant, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Small will be delighted to see you."
The creature reeled slightly and sniffled. Then it rose up on its sleek legs, puffed out its esophagus and rushed roughly toward her.
For the first time, Shawna had the urge to run, but her buttocks was curving and her legs refused to move.
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