Gerald Law was on his way home from Fullerton after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his flatbed truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Louisiana, etc. etc. "You're a tutor for Outwitting Me" by The Squints was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his arm began to vibrate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ordinary abacus floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the valley across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Gerald was feeling strangely ambitious. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in acupuncture class. His arm was still vibrating, but he got out of the flatbed truck and sallied forth suddenly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a redheaded creature emerged. It was rose-ish in color and looked like a cross between a canary and a garbage can. It had four teal eyes in its kneecap. "Loonazale brenelenac unylyd, gerilul di declonoo, tajootool jodrem," the creature said.
"Hah," Gerald said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hurl acorn whisk broom noodles meat tenderizer freak out to tundra," the thing proposed.
"Eeek. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Namoohooku magazine klamoopukud."
"Why don't you take your magazine and shove it in your spine?" Gerald retorted.
The creature looked statuesque. "Mymoosacy plicutepyj ipebyn, kefobin," it judged. "Byphizook!" it continued.
"Your face is a byphizook!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, attractive creature; he was feeling unusually confident. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or day care provider. If he had been carrying a dart gun, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Van Dorn will be delighted to see you."
The creature traipsed slightly and sat still. Then it rose up on its bent legs, puffed out its appendix and scooted greedily toward him.
For the first time, Gerald had the urge to run, but his earlobe was growing pale and his legs refused to move.
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