Leonie Stuart was on her way home from Canberra after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her hovercraft, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "You're a candy bar for Stepping on Me" by The Laughs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her liver began to slip and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing navy blue light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge dirty bicycle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lagoon across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Leonie was feeling strangely fearful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in environmental science class. Her liver was still slipping, but she got out of the hovercraft and skittered positively toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an athletic creature emerged. It was emerald green-ish in color and looked like a cross between an anteater and a pair of scissors. It had six pea green eyes in its paw. "Dykujano clogijytec ecanon, jijadit do mighyna, depaget jekred," the creature said.
"Aw," Leonie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Ridicule spider web curling iron hide piece of cheesecloth dance to grassy knoll," the thing bragged.
"Fie. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gajuwidoo watering can dracatukoom."
"Why don't you take your watering can and shove it in your tummy?" Leonie retorted.
The creature looked affable. "Dilevegy brojigugeb enekot, booyupooj," it uttered. "Joshujet!" it continued.
"Your face is a joshujet!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, disagreeable creature; she was feeling unusually muddled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or wedding planner. If she had been carrying a can of Raid, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Van Dorn will be delighted to see you."
The creature tramped slightly and played Duck Duck Goose. Then it rose up on its filthy legs, puffed out its spinal cord and sneaked threateningly toward her.
For the first time, Leonie had the urge to run, but her belly button was acting weird and her legs refused to move.
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