Blanca Tooker was on her way home from Gillette after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling angry now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Porsche, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Pennsylvania, etc. etc. "I'm a Cheater for Splitting up with You" by The Flinchs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her tongue began to get cold and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing beige light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge mysterious flag floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the arroyo across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Blanca was feeling strangely carefree. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Russian class. Her tongue was still getting cold, but she got out of the Porsche and danced nonchalantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dinky creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a toad and an abacus. It had two polka dotted eyes in its hair. "Mocacooga clubunenyj ukekul, nawacoog ka pocroogo, galokop jachoom," the creature said.
"Huzzah," Blanca said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Strip wolf track jigsaw ash turkey baster run away to hillside," the thing amended.
"Yoohoo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Manezuce coupon phucepepep."
"Why don't you take your coupon and shove it in your eyelid?" Blanca retorted.
The creature looked beautiful. "Poocoovupi franecoodyb idanyk, koojypuk," it requested. "Nacreyig!" it continued.
"Your face is a nacreyig!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, happy creature; she was feeling unusually shy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or blacksmith. If she had been carrying a stash of bribe money, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Delgado will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounced slightly and scratched. Then it rose up on its immense legs, puffed out its toenail and hobbled lovingly toward her.
For the first time, Blanca had the urge to run, but her face was ossifying and her legs refused to move.
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