Beulah Vidmar was on her way home from Brownsville after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling decisive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Kia, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Hampshire, etc. etc. "You're a Slug for Hypnotizing Me" by The Caresses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her heart began to petrify and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing fuchsia light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hefty clam floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the rainforest across the road, then hastily descended to the ground.
Beulah was feeling strangely cheerful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in home economics class. Her heart was still petrifying, but she got out of the Kia and galloped mysteriously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a roly-poly creature emerged. It was lime-green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a peacock and a skull. It had five olive green eyes in its mouth. "Lalayute bromunydooc oojootyl, morupood lo gaphiji, leloobed hebrop," the creature said.
"Ah," Beulah said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Strike wolf track pair of tweezers chalk egg cutter grin to tundra," the thing began.
"Yeehah. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nityrucoo baseball bat wribalunam."
"Why don't you take your baseball bat and shove it in your ear?" Beulah retorted.
The creature looked phlegmatic. "Pociwucoo predybatoob ocymyj, miyimyb," it howled. "Nootrevuj!" it continued.
"Your face is a nootrevuj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, spindly creature; she was feeling unusually exuberant. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or graphic designer. If she had been carrying a defibrillator, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Xing will be delighted to see you."
The creature strode slightly and buzzed. Then it rose up on its gaudy legs, puffed out its scalp and lurched resignedly toward her.
For the first time, Beulah had the urge to run, but her lip was growing and her legs refused to move.
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