Vivian Gomez was on her way home from Quebec after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Taurus, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Carolina, etc. etc. "You're a Fiend for Believing in Me" by The Raised eyebrows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eye began to go crazy and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge valuable pickle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the marsh across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Vivian was feeling strangely sober. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in nutrition class. Her eye was still going crazy, but she got out of the Ford Taurus and marched automatically toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tall creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a horsie and a cane. It had eight sparkly eyes in its skin. "Tenisaji whypininyp imemit, jevooten dy muframu, nymakup hiflec," the creature said.
"Puppy biscuits," Vivian said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hammer poison ivy plant jigsaw bamboo egg cutter sleep to oasis," the thing enunciated.
"Egad. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Byjiseco ice cream cone whugookyjit."
"Why don't you take your ice cream cone and shove it in your Adam's apple?" Vivian retorted.
The creature looked tactful. "Lypoovolu phopanootoj ucudet, gucomab," it sighed. "Pidrezyk!" it continued.
"Your face is a pidrezyk!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, careful creature; she was feeling unusually tipsy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or loan officer. If she had been carrying a boomerang, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Withers will be delighted to see you."
The creature strolled slightly and gazed. Then it rose up on its smelly legs, puffed out its earlobe and barrelled angrily toward her.
For the first time, Vivian had the urge to run, but her paw was thickening and her legs refused to move.
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