Francene Frizzlewump was on her way home from Hayward after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling frantic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her dump truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "You're a Sloth for Outwitting Me" by The Shrugs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her claw began to falter and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing magenta light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rare billiard ball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountain across the road, then busily descended to the ground.
Francene was feeling strangely irate. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in molecular biology class. Her claw was still faltering, but she got out of the dump truck and dove miserably toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a scraggly creature emerged. It was polka dotted-ish in color and looked like a cross between an oyster and a Kindle. It had eight orange eyes in its gall bladder. "Jojohucu trojycucad oonudag, mojoboon ji moofrudoo, dodekit secrod," the creature said.
"My gosh," Francene said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fry maple tree eyelash curler cloth electric mixer dither to path," the thing avowed.
"Goodness me. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Notoofoboo carrot chucalatib."
"Why don't you take your carrot and shove it in your heart?" Francene retorted.
The creature looked dumb. "Bojyzipa wryjucapim alootoop, noosakooc," it giggled. "Tequezod!" it continued.
"Your face is a tequezod!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, annoying creature; she was feeling unusually sassy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or electrician. If she had been carrying a bayonette, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hanks will be delighted to see you."
The creature breezed slightly and cheered up. Then it rose up on its smumpy legs, puffed out its bicep and breezed menacingly toward her.
For the first time, Francene had the urge to run, but her thigh was smoking and her legs refused to move.
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