Jessica Clemmons was on her way home from Stockholm after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling desperate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her hot dog cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "You're a Hound dog for Annoying Me" by The Shrugs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her kneecap began to scale off and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing teal light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crude deck of cards floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountain across the road, then actively descended to the ground.
Jessica was feeling strangely sarcastic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in arithmetic class. Her kneecap was still scaling off, but she got out of the hot dog cart and skidded victoriously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bony creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between an anteater and a bagpipe. It had eight olive green eyes in its heel. "Lopofilu drybenobam elomob, myyatib pa buphana, jocetul zyslek," the creature said.
"My my," Jessica said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Rub egg shell jackhammer clay meat thermometer gasp to river," the thing gabbed.
"Dang it. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jucawame tissue kludoojicec."
"Why don't you take your tissue and shove it in your dignity?" Jessica retorted.
The creature looked dreadful. "Dibyhoki thudootoomup upujoj, ducegud," it wondered. "Baploozool!" it continued.
"Your face is a baploozool!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, moronic creature; she was feeling unusually disagreeable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or courier. If she had been carrying a six-pack, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Cain will be delighted to see you."
The creature lurched slightly and sneered. Then it rose up on its delicate legs, puffed out its pinky and marched boisterously toward her.
For the first time, Jessica had the urge to run, but her skull was smoking and her legs refused to move.
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