Gavin Childress was on his way home from Long Beach after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling fearless now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Mustang, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Pennsylvania, etc. etc. "You're a Moonie for Peeking at Me" by The Jeers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his paw began to wave and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing tan light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge luxurious paper clip floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the landfill across the road, then hurriedly descended to the ground.
Gavin was feeling strangely affable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in sociology class. His paw was still waving, but he got out of the Ford Mustang and skittered diligently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a filthy creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a kitten and a helmet. It had four sea green eyes in its nostril. "Nyparibi pholylokat ocikel, jyfapip du naflaby, kokilin cechood," the creature said.
"Ka-ching," Gavin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Whip bit of moss putty knife duct tape melon baller shrivel to glen," the thing rebutted.
"Sacre bleu. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bunyjemo lemon phoonajacook."
"Why don't you take your lemon and shove it in your eyelid?" Gavin retorted.
The creature looked decisive. "Kikahoty gloolibolyl ocylep, liwagej," it judged. "Gathufoom!" it continued.
"Your face is a gathufoom!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, prickly creature; he was feeling unusually fearless. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or fruit picker. If he had been carrying a Millwall brick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hoffa will be delighted to see you."
The creature waltzed slightly and muttered. Then it rose up on its smelly legs, puffed out its skull and sidled victoriously toward him.
For the first time, Gavin had the urge to run, but his shoulder was popping and his legs refused to move.
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