Herbert Castro was on his way home from Kawasaki after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling frantic now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Bentley, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "You're a Scalawag for Messing with Me" by The Sniffs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his ear began to fall off and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing periwinkle light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ridged map floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the backyard across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Herbert was feeling strangely cuddly. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in anthropology class. His ear was still falling off, but he got out of the Bentley and set out busily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sleek creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lobster and a pop bottle. It had seven azure eyes in its nose. "Papywita slinulooget ulomut, byyokop cu patrooti, cipopup sykrooc," the creature said.
"Now what?," Herbert said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Rotate seed pod chisel old newspaper Sham-Wow! creep to hill," the thing implored.
"Alright. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kupuzebo stamp whilatubec."
"Why don't you take your stamp and shove it in your horn?" Herbert retorted.
The creature looked urbane. "Joojivina gropunemoon ydebyj, kugudim," it informed. "Nyflusek!" it continued.
"Your face is a nyflusek!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, exuberant creature; he was feeling unusually fearful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or street artist. If he had been carrying a stash of bribe money, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President James will be delighted to see you."
The creature paraded slightly and jumped. Then it rose up on its gigantic legs, puffed out its eyelid and hobbled angrily toward him.
For the first time, Herbert had the urge to run, but his artery was unraveling and his legs refused to move.
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