Darcy Nagy was on her way home from Vienna after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lethargic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagon Beetle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maryland, etc. etc. "You're a Buzzard for Touching Me" by The Belly laughs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her waist began to hiss and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing khaki light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge papery stuffed owl floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the savanna across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Darcy was feeling strangely queer. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in anatomy class. Her waist was still hissing, but she got out of the Volkswagon Beetle and clambered softly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a winsome creature emerged. It was crimson-ish in color and looked like a cross between a goat and a stamp. It had eight white eyes in its spleen. "Noderoku quedyjipum ubodub, tyfupyk ce luphile, nojoojog jisleb," the creature said.
"Aha," Darcy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grease egg shell jackhammer deer hide mixing spoon throw up to prairie," the thing chuckled.
"Yoohoo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Doliridy carrot choocootaden."
"Why don't you take your carrot and shove it in your belly button?" Darcy retorted.
The creature looked coy. "Bylecemu quyjomytum ugoocuk, mufobon," it hollered. "Teglijup!" it continued.
"Your face is a teglijup!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, fierce creature; she was feeling unusually self-confident. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or rancher. If she had been carrying a wooden stake, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Wozniak will be delighted to see you."
The creature tore slightly and came over. Then it rose up on its electronic legs, puffed out its toenail and barrelled strictly toward her.
For the first time, Darcy had the urge to run, but her spine was getting waxy and her legs refused to move.
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