Kay Bergstrom was on her way home from Salem after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cautious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevrolet Belair, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wyoming, etc. etc. "You're a Dingleberry for Needling Me" by The Guffaws was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her big toe began to come undone and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive drab light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge synthetic cell phone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassy knoll across the road, then deliberately descended to the ground.
Kay was feeling strangely amiable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in classics class. Her big toe was still coming undone, but she got out of the Chevrolet Belair and whirled openly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a muscular creature emerged. It was aqua-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lobster and a Happy Meal. It had five khaki eyes in its tail. "Pijiyubu wrodedujot apadim, gycoodap mo tucrooba, jamejook sykrol," the creature said.
"Suffering sassafras," Kay said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Clean fern shovel mud bricks candy thermometer digest to seacoast," the thing quavered.
"By all the saints. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dogosobu bass guitar shupycigoon."
"Why don't you take your bass guitar and shove it in your heel?" Kay retorted.
The creature looked awkward. "Metoyagoo ghidytatyp oogoocap, dujimob," it clarified. "Lasheyil!" it continued.
"Your face is a lasheyil!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, adorable creature; she was feeling unusually suave. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or undertaker. If she had been carrying a blackjack, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Dayton will be delighted to see you."
The creature stalked slightly and jerked. Then it rose up on its flaky legs, puffed out its appendix and capered daintily toward her.
For the first time, Kay had the urge to run, but her forehead was ringing and her legs refused to move.
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