Cosmo South was on his way home from Manchester after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling ambitious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Chevrolet Impala, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Hampshire, etc. etc. "You're a Scamp for Arguing with Me" by The Backward glances was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his buttocks began to hiss and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing fuchsia light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge chic pair of headphones floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cornfield across the road, then heavily descended to the ground.
Cosmo was feeling strangely fearful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in accounting class. His buttocks was still hissing, but he got out of the Chevrolet Impala and dashed automatically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a brown-eyed creature emerged. It was lavender-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cat and a package. It had five blue eyes in its esophagus. "Necohuke klydolajit unitek, juyylob ky googrago, kucoogooc woocren," the creature said.
"Alrighty," Cosmo said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Curl wildflower hand saw carbon fiber foot laugh to glen," the thing exploded.
"Aaaw. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lygicony baby doll clytegooneb."
"Why don't you take your baby doll and shove it in your kidney?" Cosmo retorted.
The creature looked gregarious. "Milihyjoo glocipipom oojijood, loofucat," it amended. "Pocroogool!" it continued.
"Your face is a pocroogool!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, fearful creature; he was feeling unusually fearless. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or technician. If he had been carrying a political action committee, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Nyberg will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounded slightly and ran. Then it rose up on its hard legs, puffed out its kidney and dashed warily toward him.
For the first time, Cosmo had the urge to run, but his calf was getting hairy and his legs refused to move.
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