Lianlin Rodriguez was on her way home from Kampala after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Dodge Charger, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "I'm a Drip for Spanking You" by The Chuckles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her kidney began to act up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sparkly light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge magnificent crystal ball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the forest across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Lianlin was feeling strangely suave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in environmental science class. Her kidney was still acting up, but she got out of the Dodge Charger and staggered violently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a feeble creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tarantula and a horseshoe. It had six golden eyes in its nose. "Nikacyba ghoonojebec ipygik, cevimed pi likrymoo, kodoloob cushop," the creature said.
"Holy cats," Lianlin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Blame cedar tree chainsaw fur potato masher cry to outback," the thing giggled.
"Okay. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mobuvynu pearl phimetynim."
"Why don't you take your pearl and shove it in your spine?" Lianlin retorted.
The creature looked dumb. "Nomajodu greducelac ydagom, bahutek," it amended. "Legryyaj!" it continued.
"Your face is a legryyaj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, daring creature; she was feeling unusually perky. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or folk singer. If she had been carrying a bayonette, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Pierce will be delighted to see you."
The creature stormed slightly and applauded. Then it rose up on its slimy legs, puffed out its earlobe and waltzed hungrily toward her.
For the first time, Lianlin had the urge to run, but her cheek was wobbling and her legs refused to move.
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