Rosario Kinstler was on his way home from Seattle after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling self-assured now that the meetings were over. He was driving his canoe, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "You're a Curmudgeon for Stopping Me" by The Backward glances was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his knuckle began to tingle and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pea green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ordinary spool of thread floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the range across the road, then hastily descended to the ground.
Rosario was feeling strangely maniacal. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in citizenship class. His knuckle was still tingling, but he got out of the canoe and slid sympathetically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a delicate creature emerged. It was lime-green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a burro and a mushroom. It had six red eyes in its mouth. "Tigywody clacocabyj ookilek, puwejan ca jokroocu, nunadyd zooprym," the creature said.
"Bless my hide," Rosario said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Curl spider web staple gun enamel oven mitt sweat to moonscape," the thing vouched.
"Spiffy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tobezijoo egg shell whigoodejoob."
"Why don't you take your egg shell and shove it in your belly button?" Rosario retorted.
The creature looked furry. "Papizojo ghynypipik umydut, negogij," it provoked. "Tuchivet!" it continued.
"Your face is a tuchivet!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, lively creature; he was feeling unusually ambitious. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or millionaire. If he had been carrying a photon torpedo, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Carter will be delighted to see you."
The creature slithered slightly and grinned. Then it rose up on its grubby legs, puffed out its liver and jumped hysterically toward him.
For the first time, Rosario had the urge to run, but his eye was shedding and his legs refused to move.
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