Crystal Satterlee was on her way home from Cairo after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling muddled now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Camaro, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Rhode Island, etc. etc. "I'm a Stooge for Licking You" by The Snuffles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her fingernail began to crack and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing striped light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge large candle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cave across the road, then expeditiously descended to the ground.
Crystal was feeling strangely peculiar. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in drama class. Her fingernail was still cracking, but she got out of the Chevy Camaro and skidded dreamily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plump creature emerged. It was ivory-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hawk and a compass. It had six camouflage eyes in its buttocks. "Gekavycy whidemytad oojedyc, gywegoon da tipleci, dogemyp heglab," the creature said.
"Of course," Crystal said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hurl bit of moss whisk broom stainless steel ladle cogitate to river," the thing yowled.
"Judas Priest. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Baduselu pail chocunucyn."
"Why don't you take your pail and shove it in your waist?" Crystal retorted.
The creature looked maniacal. "Paloojaloo prygotabap onylup, bywoonoon," it responded. "Jeflezyk!" it continued.
"Your face is a jeflezyk!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, furry creature; she was feeling unusually carefree. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or school principal. If she had been carrying a Taser, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Dalton will be delighted to see you."
The creature straggled slightly and swallowed. Then it rose up on its jagged legs, puffed out its Adam's apple and straggled lightly toward her.
For the first time, Crystal had the urge to run, but her wrist was pulsating and her legs refused to move.
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