The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a village, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad wolf who enjoyed making a face at little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the village.

The first little pig built his house of styrofoam.

Along came the big bad wolf, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my arm!

Then the wolf said, "Then I'll primp and I'll snuffle and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad wolf primped and she snuffled, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of spandex.

Along came the big bad wolf, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my beard!

Then the wolf said, "Then I'll rock and I'll rejoice and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad wolf rocked and she rejoiced, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of uranium.

Along came the big bad wolf, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my antenna!

Then the wolf said, "Then I'll turn blue and I'll pray and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad wolf turned blue and prayed, she couldn't blow in a house made of uranium. The big bad wolf felt beautiful. "Wahoo," she said, and went away unabashedly.

From that day on, the big bad wolf never made a face at the three pigs again.