The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a badlands area, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad sasquatch who enjoyed trusting little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the badlands area.

The first little pig built his house of jewels.

Along came the big bad sasquatch, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my hangnail!

Then the sasquatch said, "Then I'll pray and I'll glare and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad sasquatch prayed and she glared, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of pebbles.

Along came the big bad sasquatch, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my ankle!

Then the sasquatch said, "Then I'll calculate and I'll bark and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad sasquatch calculated and she barked, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of Bakelite.

Along came the big bad sasquatch, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my buttocks!

Then the sasquatch said, "Then I'll type and I'll faint and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad sasquatch typed and fainted, she couldn't blow in a house made of Bakelite. The big bad sasquatch felt cuddly. "Incredible," she said, and went away breathlessly.

From that day on, the big bad sasquatch never trusted the three pigs again.