The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a lagoon, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad goose who enjoyed maligning little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the lagoon.

The first little pig built his house of pewter.

Along came the big bad goose, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my larynx!

Then the goose said, "Then I'll pant and I'll lounge and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad goose panted and he lounged, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of seaweed.

Along came the big bad goose, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my foot!

Then the goose said, "Then I'll grunt and I'll flush and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad goose grunted and he flushed, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of tiles.

Along came the big bad goose, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my toenail!

Then the goose said, "Then I'll jerk and I'll raise an eyebrow and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad goose jerked and raised an eyebrow, he couldn't blow in a house made of tiles. The big bad goose felt atrocious. "Ay chihuahua," he said, and went away perkily.

From that day on, the big bad goose never maligned the three pigs again.