The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a briar patch, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad lizard who enjoyed suing little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the briar patch.

The first little pig built his house of straw.

Along came the big bad lizard, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my beard!

Then the lizard said, "Then I'll swallow and I'll yawn and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad lizard swallowed and he yawned, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of Portland cement.

Along came the big bad lizard, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my cheek!

Then the lizard said, "Then I'll belch and I'll squeal and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad lizard belched and he squealed, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of cow pies.

Along came the big bad lizard, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my chest!

Then the lizard said, "Then I'll tremble and I'll gesticulate and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad lizard trembled and gesticulated, he couldn't blow in a house made of cow pies. The big bad lizard felt intense. "How about that," he said, and went away elatedly.

From that day on, the big bad lizard never sued the three pigs again.