The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live at a dump, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad burro who enjoyed trusting little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors at the dump.

The first little pig built his house of old tires.

Along came the big bad burro, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my mouth!

Then the burro said, "Then I'll fret and I'll play Duck Duck Goose and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad burro fretted and she played Duck Duck Goose, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of wicker.

Along came the big bad burro, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my eyeball!

Then the burro said, "Then I'll snore and I'll do nothing and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad burro snored and she did nothing, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of sawdust.

Along came the big bad burro, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my buttocks!

Then the burro said, "Then I'll ponder and I'll jerk and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad burro pondered and jerked, she couldn't blow in a house made of sawdust. The big bad burro felt confident. "Crikey," she said, and went away impatiently.

From that day on, the big bad burro never trusted the three pigs again.