The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a hillside, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad caribou who enjoyed fooling little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors on the hillside.

The first little pig built his house of carbon fiber.

Along came the big bad caribou, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my leg!

Then the caribou said, "Then I'll get sleepy and I'll gasp and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad caribou got sleepy and she gasped, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of chewing gum.

Along came the big bad caribou, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my pituitary gland!

Then the caribou said, "Then I'll sleep and I'll shiver and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad caribou slept and she shivered, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of deer hide.

Along came the big bad caribou, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my collarbone!

Then the caribou said, "Then I'll rock and I'll grunt and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad caribou rocked and grunted, she couldn't blow in a house made of deer hide. The big bad caribou felt sarcastic. "The joke's on you," she said, and went away stupidly.

From that day on, the big bad caribou never fooled the three pigs again.