The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a mountain, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad weasel who enjoyed outrunning little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the mountain.

The first little pig built his house of mahogany.

Along came the big bad weasel, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my tummy!

Then the weasel said, "Then I'll knit and I'll burp and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad weasel knitted and he burped, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of ice.

Along came the big bad weasel, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my dignity!

Then the weasel said, "Then I'll beg and I'll cough and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad weasel begged and he coughed, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of asphalt.

Along came the big bad weasel, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my ear!

Then the weasel said, "Then I'll suffer and I'll type and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad weasel suffered and typed, he couldn't blow in a house made of asphalt. The big bad weasel felt self-assured. "Boohoo," he said, and went away warily.

From that day on, the big bad weasel never outran the three pigs again.