The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a grassland, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad dachshund who enjoyed harassing little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the grassland.

The first little pig built his house of epoxy.

Along came the big bad dachshund, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my wrist!

Then the dachshund said, "Then I'll play and I'll cringe and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad dachshund played and she cringed, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of pillows.

Along came the big bad dachshund, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my dignity!

Then the dachshund said, "Then I'll purr and I'll calculate and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad dachshund purred and she calculated, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of fiberglass.

Along came the big bad dachshund, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my eyebrow!

Then the dachshund said, "Then I'll meow and I'll hang around and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad dachshund meowed and hung around, she couldn't blow in a house made of fiberglass. The big bad dachshund felt garrulous. "Bless you," she said, and went away immediately.

From that day on, the big bad dachshund never harassed the three pigs again.