The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a cornfield, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad pelican who enjoyed leading little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the cornfield.

The first little pig built his house of oak.

Along came the big bad pelican, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my eyeball!

Then the pelican said, "Then I'll die and I'll tremble and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad pelican died and he trembled, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of construction paper.

Along came the big bad pelican, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my back!

Then the pelican said, "Then I'll squeak and I'll grimace and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad pelican squeaked and he grimaced, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of dirt.

Along came the big bad pelican, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my paw!

Then the pelican said, "Then I'll do the Hokey Pokey and I'll calculate and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad pelican did the Hokey Pokey and calculated, he couldn't blow in a house made of dirt. The big bad pelican felt funny. "Durn," he said, and went away stupidly.

From that day on, the big bad pelican never led the three pigs again.