The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in an arroyo, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad buzzard who enjoyed outwitting little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the arroyo.

The first little pig built his house of tar.

Along came the big bad buzzard, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my collarbone!

Then the buzzard said, "Then I'll creep and I'll get angry and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad buzzard crept and he got angry, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of slate.

Along came the big bad buzzard, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my toupee!

Then the buzzard said, "Then I'll hiccup and I'll carry on and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad buzzard hiccuped and he carried on, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of linen.

Along came the big bad buzzard, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my chest!

Then the buzzard said, "Then I'll lie around in bed and I'll tread water and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad buzzard lay around in bed and treaded water, he couldn't blow in a house made of linen. The big bad buzzard felt emotional. "Wild," he said, and went away thankfully.

From that day on, the big bad buzzard never outwitted the three pigs again.