The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a cesspool, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad tsetse fly who enjoyed dumping little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the cesspool.

The first little pig built his house of twigs.

Along came the big bad tsetse fly, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my back!

Then the tsetse fly said, "Then I'll dress up and I'll get along and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad tsetse fly dressed up and he got along, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of styrofoam.

Along came the big bad tsetse fly, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my hairdo!

Then the tsetse fly said, "Then I'll nod off and I'll wiggle and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad tsetse fly nodded off and he wiggled, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of iron.

Along came the big bad tsetse fly, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my waist!

Then the tsetse fly said, "Then I'll purr and I'll whirl and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad tsetse fly purred and whirled, he couldn't blow in a house made of iron. The big bad tsetse fly felt sarcastic. "Now we're talking," he said, and went away numbly.

From that day on, the big bad tsetse fly never dumped the three pigs again.