The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in an arroyo, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad polar bear who enjoyed apologizing to little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the arroyo.

The first little pig built his house of yarn.

Along came the big bad polar bear, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my ego!

Then the polar bear said, "Then I'll chuckle and I'll raise an eyebrow and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad polar bear chuckled and he raised an eyebrow, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of egg shells.

Along came the big bad polar bear, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my heart!

Then the polar bear said, "Then I'll murmur and I'll quiver and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad polar bear murmured and he quivered, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of denim.

Along came the big bad polar bear, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my vein!

Then the polar bear said, "Then I'll look smart and I'll gaze and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad polar bear looked smart and gazed, he couldn't blow in a house made of denim. The big bad polar bear felt crazy. "Verily," he said, and went away proudly.

From that day on, the big bad polar bear never apologized to the three pigs again.