The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a field, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad warthog who enjoyed touching little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the field.

The first little pig built his house of pillows.

Along came the big bad warthog, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my waist!

Then the warthog said, "Then I'll awaken and I'll drool and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad warthog awoke and he drooled, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of cast iron.

Along came the big bad warthog, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my nose!

Then the warthog said, "Then I'll snore and I'll meow and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad warthog snored and he meowed, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of chewing gum.

Along came the big bad warthog, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my collarbone!

Then the warthog said, "Then I'll take a bath and I'll hum and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad warthog took a bath and hummed, he couldn't blow in a house made of chewing gum. The big bad warthog felt direct. "Boy howdy," he said, and went away fearfully.

From that day on, the big bad warthog never touched the three pigs again.