The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a marsh, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad salamander who enjoyed marrying little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the marsh.

The first little pig built his house of string.

Along came the big bad salamander, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my waist!

Then the salamander said, "Then I'll die and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad salamander died and she puffed, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of sewage.

Along came the big bad salamander, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my tooth!

Then the salamander said, "Then I'll yelp and I'll clap and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad salamander yelped and she clapped, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of cold rolled steel.

Along came the big bad salamander, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my horn!

Then the salamander said, "Then I'll sniffle and I'll wander and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad salamander sniffled and wandered, she couldn't blow in a house made of cold rolled steel. The big bad salamander felt presumptuous. "Fun," she said, and went away valiantly.

From that day on, the big bad salamander never married the three pigs again.