The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a countryside, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad wombat who enjoyed stopping little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the countryside.

The first little pig built his house of rammed earth.

Along came the big bad wombat, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my foot!

Then the wombat said, "Then I'll clap and I'll barf and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad wombat clapped and she barfed, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of seaweed.

Along came the big bad wombat, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my belly!

Then the wombat said, "Then I'll groan and I'll run away and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad wombat groaned and she ran away, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of tin.

Along came the big bad wombat, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my beard!

Then the wombat said, "Then I'll swear and I'll fall asleep and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad wombat swore and fell asleep, she couldn't blow in a house made of tin. The big bad wombat felt ladylike. "WTF," she said, and went away vigorously.

From that day on, the big bad wombat never stopped the three pigs again.