The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a hayfield, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad tsetse fly who enjoyed agreeing with little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the hayfield.

The first little pig built his house of cold rolled steel.

Along came the big bad tsetse fly, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my tail!

Then the tsetse fly said, "Then I'll look angry and I'll giggle and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad tsetse fly looked angry and he giggled, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of cow pies.

Along came the big bad tsetse fly, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my lip!

Then the tsetse fly said, "Then I'll barf and I'll knit and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad tsetse fly barfed and he knitted, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of ivory.

Along came the big bad tsetse fly, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my eyeball!

Then the tsetse fly said, "Then I'll jump and I'll squint and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad tsetse fly jumped and squinted, he couldn't blow in a house made of ivory. The big bad tsetse fly felt hungry. "Geez Louise," he said, and went away anxiously.

From that day on, the big bad tsetse fly never agreed with the three pigs again.