The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a valley, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad eel who enjoyed attacking little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the valley.

The first little pig built his house of gold.

Along came the big bad eel, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my elbow!

Then the eel said, "Then I'll expectorate and I'll blank out and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad eel expectorated and he blanked out, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of bamboo.

Along came the big bad eel, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my cheek!

Then the eel said, "Then I'll daydream and I'll moan and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad eel daydreamed and he moaned, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of axle grease.

Along came the big bad eel, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my mouth!

Then the eel said, "Then I'll chuckle and I'll flinch and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad eel chuckled and flinched, he couldn't blow in a house made of axle grease. The big bad eel felt unruffled. "Alright," he said, and went away fearfully.

From that day on, the big bad eel never attacked the three pigs again.