The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a plateau, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad gazelle who enjoyed burying little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors on the plateau.

The first little pig built his house of steel.

Along came the big bad gazelle, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my larynx!

Then the gazelle said, "Then I'll awaken and I'll look smart and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad gazelle awoke and she looked smart, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of peanut butter.

Along came the big bad gazelle, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my nose!

Then the gazelle said, "Then I'll vomit and I'll swallow and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad gazelle vomited and she swallowed, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of felt.

Along came the big bad gazelle, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my gall bladder!

Then the gazelle said, "Then I'll swear and I'll party and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad gazelle swore and partied, she couldn't blow in a house made of felt. The big bad gazelle felt brilliant. "Shame," she said, and went away oddly.

From that day on, the big bad gazelle never buried the three pigs again.