The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a gulch, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad buzzard who enjoyed relying on little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the gulch.

The first little pig built his house of cedar.

Along came the big bad buzzard, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my heart!

Then the buzzard said, "Then I'll wince and I'll dawdle and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad buzzard winced and he dawdled, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of papyrus.

Along came the big bad buzzard, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my eyelash!

Then the buzzard said, "Then I'll do the Hokey Pokey and I'll come along and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad buzzard did the Hokey Pokey and he came along, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of old newspapers.

Along came the big bad buzzard, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my elbow!

Then the buzzard said, "Then I'll run away and I'll giggle and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad buzzard ran away and giggled, he couldn't blow in a house made of old newspapers. The big bad buzzard felt frantic. "Hell's bells," he said, and went away primly.

From that day on, the big bad buzzard never relied on the three pigs again.