The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a lagoon, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad bandicoot who enjoyed double-crossing little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the lagoon.

The first little pig built his house of rammed earth.

Along came the big bad bandicoot, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my thigh!

Then the bandicoot said, "Then I'll peep and I'll adjust and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad bandicoot peeped and she adjusted, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of deer hide.

Along came the big bad bandicoot, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my spine!

Then the bandicoot said, "Then I'll run and I'll bounce and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad bandicoot ran and she bounced, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of Scotch tape.

Along came the big bad bandicoot, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my carotid artery!

Then the bandicoot said, "Then I'll tremble and I'll purr and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad bandicoot trembled and purred, she couldn't blow in a house made of Scotch tape. The big bad bandicoot felt nervous. "Stoked," she said, and went away warily.

From that day on, the big bad bandicoot never double-crossed the three pigs again.