The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a park, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad salamander who enjoyed texting little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the park.

The first little pig built his house of cotton.

Along came the big bad salamander, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my knee!

Then the salamander said, "Then I'll catch up and I'll knit and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad salamander caught up and he knitted, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of cards.

Along came the big bad salamander, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my artery!

Then the salamander said, "Then I'll chortle and I'll yawn and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad salamander chortled and he yawned, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of wire.

Along came the big bad salamander, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my shoulder!

Then the salamander said, "Then I'll scribble and I'll burble and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad salamander scribbled and burbled, he couldn't blow in a house made of wire. The big bad salamander felt merry. "Jeepers," he said, and went away numbly.

From that day on, the big bad salamander never texted the three pigs again.