The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in an arroyo, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad reindeer who enjoyed smacking little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the arroyo.

The first little pig built his house of old rags.

Along came the big bad reindeer, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my lip!

Then the reindeer said, "Then I'll get along and I'll daydream and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad reindeer got along and he daydreamed, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of nuts and bolts.

Along came the big bad reindeer, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my carotid artery!

Then the reindeer said, "Then I'll bark and I'll flinch and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad reindeer barked and he flinched, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of gold bricks.

Along came the big bad reindeer, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my midriff!

Then the reindeer said, "Then I'll carry on and I'll crouch and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad reindeer carried on and crouched, he couldn't blow in a house made of gold bricks. The big bad reindeer felt bizarre. "I think not," he said, and went away cheerfully.

From that day on, the big bad reindeer never smacked the three pigs again.