The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a hill, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad troll who enjoyed loving little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the hill.

The first little pig built his house of maple.

Along came the big bad troll, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my earlobe!

Then the troll said, "Then I'll creep and I'll carry on and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad troll crept and he carried on, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of onyx.

Along came the big bad troll, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my lung!

Then the troll said, "Then I'll wince and I'll chew and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad troll winced and he chewed, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of cinder block.

Along came the big bad troll, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my beard!

Then the troll said, "Then I'll blank out and I'll sigh and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad troll blanked out and sighed, he couldn't blow in a house made of cinder block. The big bad troll felt sweet. "Durn it," he said, and went away happily.

From that day on, the big bad troll never loved the three pigs again.