The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a garden, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad mule who enjoyed spitting at little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the garden.

The first little pig built his house of Tyvek.

Along came the big bad mule, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my bicep!

Then the mule said, "Then I'll vomit and I'll dilly-dally and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad mule vomited and she dilly-dallied, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of noodles.

Along came the big bad mule, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my tooth!

Then the mule said, "Then I'll run and I'll go limp and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad mule ran and she went limp, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of moss.

Along came the big bad mule, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my elbow!

Then the mule said, "Then I'll awaken and I'll run away and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad mule awoke and ran away, she couldn't blow in a house made of moss. The big bad mule felt athletic. "Incredible," she said, and went away sympathetically.

From that day on, the big bad mule never spat at the three pigs again.