The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a valley, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad Pekingese who enjoyed dumping little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the valley.

The first little pig built his house of construction paper.

Along came the big bad Pekingese, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my abdomen!

Then the Pekingese said, "Then I'll clap and I'll dither and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad Pekingese clapped and he dithered, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of deer hide.

Along came the big bad Pekingese, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my buttocks!

Then the Pekingese said, "Then I'll spit and I'll fantasize and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad Pekingese spat and he fantasized, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of balsa.

Along came the big bad Pekingese, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my front tooth!

Then the Pekingese said, "Then I'll freak out and I'll twitch and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad Pekingese freaked out and twitched, he couldn't blow in a house made of balsa. The big bad Pekingese felt dark. "Yowie," he said, and went away dolorously.

From that day on, the big bad Pekingese never dumped the three pigs again.