The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a neighborhood, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad sloth who enjoyed needling little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the neighborhood.

The first little pig built his house of rock.

Along came the big bad sloth, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my face!

Then the sloth said, "Then I'll dress up and I'll gasp and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad sloth dressed up and he gasped, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of muslin.

Along came the big bad sloth, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my esophagus!

Then the sloth said, "Then I'll digest and I'll snarl and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad sloth digested and he snarled, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of tissue.

Along came the big bad sloth, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my Adam's apple!

Then the sloth said, "Then I'll barf and I'll step aside and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad sloth barfed and stepped aside, he couldn't blow in a house made of tissue. The big bad sloth felt presumptuous. "Eek," he said, and went away woefully.

From that day on, the big bad sloth never needled the three pigs again.