The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a moonscape, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad llama who enjoyed killing little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the moonscape.

The first little pig built his house of candy.

Along came the big bad llama, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my adrenal gland!

Then the llama said, "Then I'll talk and I'll tremble and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad llama talked and he trembled, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of diamonds.

Along came the big bad llama, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my thyroid gland!

Then the llama said, "Then I'll show up and I'll die and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad llama showed up and he died, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of Spanish moss.

Along came the big bad llama, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my piehole!

Then the llama said, "Then I'll fantasize and I'll glower and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad llama fantasized and glowered, he couldn't blow in a house made of Spanish moss. The big bad llama felt urbane. "Gadzooks and crapadoodle," he said, and went away miserably.

From that day on, the big bad llama never killed the three pigs again.