The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a neighborhood, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad phantom who enjoyed ostracizing little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the neighborhood.

The first little pig built his house of Sheetrock.

Along came the big bad phantom, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my finger!

Then the phantom said, "Then I'll come along and I'll meditate and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad phantom came along and he meditated, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of sugar.

Along came the big bad phantom, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my gut!

Then the phantom said, "Then I'll squeal and I'll party and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad phantom squealed and he partied, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of fiberglass.

Along came the big bad phantom, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my little finger!

Then the phantom said, "Then I'll doodle and I'll snarl and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad phantom doodled and snarled, he couldn't blow in a house made of fiberglass. The big bad phantom felt vile. "Ppppbbbft," he said, and went away quietly.

From that day on, the big bad phantom never ostracized the three pigs again.