The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a path, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad horse who enjoyed educating little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the path.

The first little pig built his house of noodles.

Along came the big bad horse, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my appendix!

Then the horse said, "Then I'll step aside and I'll cough and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad horse stepped aside and he coughed, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of hair.

Along came the big bad horse, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my appendix!

Then the horse said, "Then I'll die and I'll fall asleep and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad horse died and he fell asleep, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of duct tape.

Along came the big bad horse, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my ear!

Then the horse said, "Then I'll itch and I'll curtsey and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad horse itched and curtseyed, he couldn't blow in a house made of duct tape. The big bad horse felt resolute. "Can it," he said, and went away quietly.

From that day on, the big bad horse never educated the three pigs again.