The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a landfill, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad coyote who enjoyed chasing little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the landfill.

The first little pig built his house of garbage.

Along came the big bad coyote, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my knuckle!

Then the coyote said, "Then I'll adjust and I'll clear out and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad coyote adjusted and she cleared out, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of chicken feathers.

Along came the big bad coyote, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my skin!

Then the coyote said, "Then I'll squeal and I'll kneel and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad coyote squealed and she knelt, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of muslin.

Along came the big bad coyote, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my kneecap!

Then the coyote said, "Then I'll gaze and I'll roll and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad coyote gazed and rolled, she couldn't blow in a house made of muslin. The big bad coyote felt affable. "W00t," she said, and went away testily.

From that day on, the big bad coyote never chased the three pigs again.