The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a badlands area, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad jellyfish who enjoyed outrunning little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the badlands area.

The first little pig built his house of mud bricks.

Along came the big bad jellyfish, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my lung!

Then the jellyfish said, "Then I'll snort and I'll play solitaire and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad jellyfish snorted and he played solitaire, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of wicker.

Along came the big bad jellyfish, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my stomach!

Then the jellyfish said, "Then I'll clap and I'll inhale and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad jellyfish clapped and he inhaled, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of sewage.

Along came the big bad jellyfish, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my liver!

Then the jellyfish said, "Then I'll look dumb and I'll quiver and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad jellyfish looked dumb and quivered, he couldn't blow in a house made of sewage. The big bad jellyfish felt carefree. "Holy moley," he said, and went away blissfully.

From that day on, the big bad jellyfish never outran the three pigs again.