The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a veld, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad mink who enjoyed needling little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors on the veld.

The first little pig built his house of epoxy.

Along came the big bad mink, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my heart!

Then the mink said, "Then I'll get along and I'll ponder and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad mink got along and she pondered, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of vinyl.

Along came the big bad mink, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my Achilles tendon!

Then the mink said, "Then I'll peep and I'll cough and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad mink peeped and she coughed, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of sweat and toil.

Along came the big bad mink, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my skull!

Then the mink said, "Then I'll snarl and I'll screech and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad mink snarled and screeched, she couldn't blow in a house made of sweat and toil. The big bad mink felt witty. "Whoopee," she said, and went away sweetly.

From that day on, the big bad mink never needled the three pigs again.