The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live beside a river, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad computer who enjoyed aweing little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors beside the river.

The first little pig built his house of wax.

Along came the big bad computer, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my belly button!

Then the computer said, "Then I'll step aside and I'll shrivel and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad computer stepped aside and he shriveled, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of burlap.

Along came the big bad computer, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my abdomen!

Then the computer said, "Then I'll chuckle and I'll faint and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad computer chuckled and he fainted, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of wax.

Along came the big bad computer, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my toenail!

Then the computer said, "Then I'll pause and I'll spit and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad computer paused and spat, he couldn't blow in a house made of wax. The big bad computer felt articulate. "Alas," he said, and went away confidently.

From that day on, the big bad computer never awed the three pigs again.