The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a swamp, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad hamster who enjoyed marrying little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the swamp.

The first little pig built his house of foil.

Along came the big bad hamster, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my kneecap!

Then the hamster said, "Then I'll swoon and I'll blush and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad hamster swooned and he blushed, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of rock.

Along came the big bad hamster, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my horn!

Then the hamster said, "Then I'll watch and I'll laugh and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad hamster watched and he laughed, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of cold rolled steel.

Along came the big bad hamster, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my little finger!

Then the hamster said, "Then I'll bleed and I'll awaken and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad hamster bled and awoke, he couldn't blow in a house made of cold rolled steel. The big bad hamster felt powerful. "Big whoop," he said, and went away grimly.

From that day on, the big bad hamster never married the three pigs again.