The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a wasteland, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad peacock who enjoyed studying little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the wasteland.

The first little pig built his house of old newspapers.

Along came the big bad peacock, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my funny bone!

Then the peacock said, "Then I'll shrug and I'll pace and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad peacock shrugged and he paced, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of precious gems.

Along came the big bad peacock, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my paw!

Then the peacock said, "Then I'll wink and I'll dilly-dally and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad peacock winked and he dilly-dallied, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of glass brick.

Along came the big bad peacock, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my tail!

Then the peacock said, "Then I'll show up and I'll expectorate and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad peacock showed up and expectorated, he couldn't blow in a house made of glass brick. The big bad peacock felt nervous. "Whee," he said, and went away gracefully.

From that day on, the big bad peacock never studied the three pigs again.