The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a swamp, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad brine shrimp who enjoyed manipulating little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the swamp.

The first little pig built his house of Tyvek.

Along came the big bad brine shrimp, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my spleen!

Then the brine shrimp said, "Then I'll yawn and I'll scream and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad brine shrimp yawned and she screamed, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of alpaca hair.

Along came the big bad brine shrimp, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my eyeball!

Then the brine shrimp said, "Then I'll purr and I'll slobber and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad brine shrimp purred and she slobbered, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of papyrus.

Along came the big bad brine shrimp, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my earlobe!

Then the brine shrimp said, "Then I'll growl and I'll sway and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad brine shrimp growled and swayed, she couldn't blow in a house made of papyrus. The big bad brine shrimp felt direct. "For heaven's sake," she said, and went away defiantly.

From that day on, the big bad brine shrimp never manipulated the three pigs again.