The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a treetop, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad oyster who enjoyed imitating little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the treetop.

The first little pig built his house of lithium.

Along came the big bad oyster, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my scalp!

Then the oyster said, "Then I'll glower and I'll roll and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad oyster glowered and he rolled, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of canvas.

Along came the big bad oyster, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my eyebrow!

Then the oyster said, "Then I'll blink and I'll kneel and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad oyster blinked and he knelt, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of aluminum.

Along came the big bad oyster, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my tongue!

Then the oyster said, "Then I'll blow up and I'll sleep and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad oyster blew up and slept, he couldn't blow in a house made of aluminum. The big bad oyster felt taciturn. "Wowsers," he said, and went away bravely.

From that day on, the big bad oyster never imitated the three pigs again.