The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a lagoon, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad wallaby who enjoyed challenging little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the lagoon.

The first little pig built his house of Elmer's glue.

Along came the big bad wallaby, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my throat!

Then the wallaby said, "Then I'll calculate and I'll shiver and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad wallaby calculated and he shivered, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of dreams and visions.

Along came the big bad wallaby, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my bladder!

Then the wallaby said, "Then I'll burble and I'll look smart and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad wallaby burbled and he looked smart, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of Spanish moss.

Along came the big bad wallaby, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my nostril!

Then the wallaby said, "Then I'll throw up and I'll pray and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad wallaby threw up and prayed, he couldn't blow in a house made of Spanish moss. The big bad wallaby felt stylish. "@#%#^@%$@!," he said, and went away fearfully.

From that day on, the big bad wallaby never challenged the three pigs again.