The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a mountaintop, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad otter who enjoyed agreeing with little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors on the mountaintop.

The first little pig built his house of Tyvek.

Along came the big bad otter, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my collarbone!

Then the otter said, "Then I'll barf and I'll chortle and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad otter barfed and she chortled, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of snow.

Along came the big bad otter, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my piehole!

Then the otter said, "Then I'll grunt and I'll hide and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad otter grunted and she hid, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of felt.

Along came the big bad otter, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my hip!

Then the otter said, "Then I'll stand by and I'll clear out and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad otter stood by and cleared out, she couldn't blow in a house made of felt. The big bad otter felt statuesque. "Hold that thought," she said, and went away admiringly.

From that day on, the big bad otter never agreed with the three pigs again.