The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a mountainside, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad pigeon who enjoyed laughing at little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the mountainside.

The first little pig built his house of wool.

Along came the big bad pigeon, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my thorax!

Then the pigeon said, "Then I'll snore and I'll pucker and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad pigeon snored and he puckered, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of fabric.

Along came the big bad pigeon, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my neck!

Then the pigeon said, "Then I'll yelp and I'll meditate and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad pigeon yelped and he meditated, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of carbon fiber.

Along came the big bad pigeon, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my vein!

Then the pigeon said, "Then I'll play Farmer in the Dell and I'll scream and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad pigeon played Farmer in the Dell and screamed, he couldn't blow in a house made of carbon fiber. The big bad pigeon felt vivacious. "Shoo," he said, and went away sympathetically.

From that day on, the big bad pigeon never laughed at the three pigs again.