The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a neighborhood, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad crocodile who enjoyed massaging little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the neighborhood.

The first little pig built his house of copper.

Along came the big bad crocodile, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my ankle!

Then the crocodile said, "Then I'll deal cards and I'll dream and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad crocodile dealt cards and he dreamed, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of cold rolled steel.

Along came the big bad crocodile, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my calf!

Then the crocodile said, "Then I'll cringe and I'll take a bath and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad crocodile cringed and he took a bath, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of titanium.

Along came the big bad crocodile, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my appendix!

Then the crocodile said, "Then I'll dawdle and I'll suffer and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad crocodile dawdled and suffered, he couldn't blow in a house made of titanium. The big bad crocodile felt adorable. "Shazam," he said, and went away fiercely.

From that day on, the big bad crocodile never massaged the three pigs again.