The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in an outback, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad colt who enjoyed thinking about little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the outback.

The first little pig built his house of cellophane.

Along came the big bad colt, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my claw!

Then the colt said, "Then I'll lounge and I'll glare and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad colt lounged and she glared, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of gold.

Along came the big bad colt, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my spinal cord!

Then the colt said, "Then I'll awaken and I'll bounce and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad colt awoke and she bounced, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of junk cars.

Along came the big bad colt, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my spleen!

Then the colt said, "Then I'll jerk and I'll vegetate and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad colt jerked and vegetated, she couldn't blow in a house made of junk cars. The big bad colt felt agile. "Holy mackerel," she said, and went away stealthily.

From that day on, the big bad colt never thought about the three pigs again.