The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a desert, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad orangutan who enjoyed charming little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the desert.

The first little pig built his house of taffeta.

Along came the big bad orangutan, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my liver!

Then the orangutan said, "Then I'll fantasize and I'll scratch and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad orangutan fantasized and she scratched, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of Elmer's glue.

Along came the big bad orangutan, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my dignity!

Then the orangutan said, "Then I'll shake and I'll pause and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad orangutan shook and she paused, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of cotton.

Along came the big bad orangutan, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my kidney!

Then the orangutan said, "Then I'll talk and I'll cough and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad orangutan talked and coughed, she couldn't blow in a house made of cotton. The big bad orangutan felt freakish. "Phew," she said, and went away vacantly.

From that day on, the big bad orangutan never charmed the three pigs again.