The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a meadow, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad quail who enjoyed jumping on little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the meadow.

The first little pig built his house of Kevlar.

Along came the big bad quail, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my antenna!

Then the quail said, "Then I'll look angry and I'll wince and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad quail looked angry and he winced, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of old bottles.

Along came the big bad quail, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my midriff!

Then the quail said, "Then I'll burp and I'll applaud and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad quail burped and he applauded, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of brass.

Along came the big bad quail, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my larynx!

Then the quail said, "Then I'll get upset and I'll rest and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad quail got upset and rested, he couldn't blow in a house made of brass. The big bad quail felt disgusting. "Fun," he said, and went away cleverly.

From that day on, the big bad quail never jumped on the three pigs again.