The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live at a lakeside, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad ant who enjoyed berating little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors at the lakeside.

The first little pig built his house of pulp.

Along came the big bad ant, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my spleen!

Then the ant said, "Then I'll giggle and I'll suffer and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad ant giggled and he suffered, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of bark.

Along came the big bad ant, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my gall bladder!

Then the ant said, "Then I'll party and I'll roll and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad ant partied and he rolled, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of marbles.

Along came the big bad ant, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my collarbone!

Then the ant said, "Then I'll weep and I'll seethe and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad ant wept and seethed, he couldn't blow in a house made of marbles. The big bad ant felt timid. "Yowsers," he said, and went away lazily.

From that day on, the big bad ant never berated the three pigs again.