The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in an arroyo, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad walrus who enjoyed rejecting little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the arroyo.

The first little pig built his house of Portland cement.

Along came the big bad walrus, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my spleen!

Then the walrus said, "Then I'll blow up and I'll snarl and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad walrus blew up and he snarled, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of pine logs.

Along came the big bad walrus, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my toupee!

Then the walrus said, "Then I'll shake and I'll snore and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad walrus shook and he snored, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of flour paste.

Along came the big bad walrus, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my tongue!

Then the walrus said, "Then I'll suffer and I'll sniff and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad walrus suffered and sniffed, he couldn't blow in a house made of flour paste. The big bad walrus felt funny. "Boohoo," he said, and went away cleverly.

From that day on, the big bad walrus never rejected the three pigs again.