The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a mountainside, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad goose who enjoyed pushing little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the mountainside.

The first little pig built his house of denim.

Along came the big bad goose, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my calf!

Then the goose said, "Then I'll preach and I'll get sleepy and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad goose preached and he got sleepy, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of garbage.

Along came the big bad goose, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my chin!

Then the goose said, "Then I'll cry and I'll doodle and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad goose cried and he doodled, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of adobe.

Along came the big bad goose, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my beard!

Then the goose said, "Then I'll get frazzled and I'll stretch and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad goose got frazzled and stretched, he couldn't blow in a house made of adobe. The big bad goose felt moronic. "Quiet," he said, and went away delicately.

From that day on, the big bad goose never pushed the three pigs again.