The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a path, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad mule who enjoyed frowning at little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the path.

The first little pig built his house of plutonium.

Along came the big bad mule, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my head!

Then the mule said, "Then I'll holler and I'll primp and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad mule hollered and he primped, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of bronze.

Along came the big bad mule, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my thyroid gland!

Then the mule said, "Then I'll faint and I'll smile and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad mule fainted and he smiled, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of cloth.

Along came the big bad mule, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my knee!

Then the mule said, "Then I'll step aside and I'll grumble and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad mule stepped aside and grumbled, he couldn't blow in a house made of cloth. The big bad mule felt desperate. "The Joke's On You," he said, and went away fearfully.

From that day on, the big bad mule never frowned at the three pigs again.