The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a moonscape, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad dachshund who enjoyed soothing little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the moonscape.

The first little pig built his house of Bakelite.

Along came the big bad dachshund, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my face!

Then the dachshund said, "Then I'll pause and I'll squint and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad dachshund paused and he squinted, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of ivory.

Along came the big bad dachshund, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my ego!

Then the dachshund said, "Then I'll yawn and I'll cheer and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad dachshund yawned and he cheered, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of iron.

Along came the big bad dachshund, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my tongue!

Then the dachshund said, "Then I'll run and I'll drool and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad dachshund ran and drooled, he couldn't blow in a house made of iron. The big bad dachshund felt haggard. "Pow," he said, and went away hopefully.

From that day on, the big bad dachshund never soothed the three pigs again.