The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a field, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad sheep who enjoyed tickling little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the field.

The first little pig built his house of granite.

Along came the big bad sheep, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my toupee!

Then the sheep said, "Then I'll bleed and I'll stand by and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad sheep bled and he stood by, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of straw.

Along came the big bad sheep, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my wrist!

Then the sheep said, "Then I'll ponder and I'll pace and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad sheep pondered and he paced, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of chocolate.

Along came the big bad sheep, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my claw!

Then the sheep said, "Then I'll gaze and I'll blush and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad sheep gazed and blushed, he couldn't blow in a house made of chocolate. The big bad sheep felt tactful. "Lord be praised," he said, and went away lazily.

From that day on, the big bad sheep never tickled the three pigs again.