The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a butte, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad anteater who enjoyed shunning little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the butte.

The first little pig built his house of paper clips.

Along came the big bad anteater, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my calf!

Then the anteater said, "Then I'll look puzzled and I'll glare and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad anteater looked puzzled and he glared, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of recycled newspaper.

Along came the big bad anteater, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my wrist!

Then the anteater said, "Then I'll die and I'll hang around and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad anteater died and he hung around, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of reeds.

Along came the big bad anteater, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my liver!

Then the anteater said, "Then I'll awaken and I'll gesticulate and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad anteater awoke and gesticulated, he couldn't blow in a house made of reeds. The big bad anteater felt crafty. "Cool beans," he said, and went away shakily.

From that day on, the big bad anteater never shunned the three pigs again.