The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a park, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad banana slug who enjoyed doubting little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the park.

The first little pig built his house of linen.

Along came the big bad banana slug, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my pituitary gland!

Then the banana slug said, "Then I'll swoon and I'll chuckle and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad banana slug swooned and she chuckled, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of cinder block.

Along came the big bad banana slug, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my midriff!

Then the banana slug said, "Then I'll yell and I'll snarl and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad banana slug yelled and she snarled, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of Formica.

Along came the big bad banana slug, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my collarbone!

Then the banana slug said, "Then I'll blank out and I'll cough and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad banana slug blanked out and coughed, she couldn't blow in a house made of Formica. The big bad banana slug felt sincere. "Incredible," she said, and went away nicely.

From that day on, the big bad banana slug never doubted the three pigs again.