The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live beside a river, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad gopher who enjoyed considering little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors beside the river.

The first little pig built his house of banana leaves.

Along came the big bad gopher, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my waist!

Then the gopher said, "Then I'll get upset and I'll go limp and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad gopher got upset and she went limp, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of concrete.

Along came the big bad gopher, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my pride!

Then the gopher said, "Then I'll gesticulate and I'll go limp and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad gopher gesticulated and she went limp, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of mud.

Along came the big bad gopher, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my knuckle!

Then the gopher said, "Then I'll freak out and I'll wander and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad gopher freaked out and wandered, she couldn't blow in a house made of mud. The big bad gopher felt fierce. "Very well done," she said, and went away merrily.

From that day on, the big bad gopher never considered the three pigs again.