The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a pasture, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad porcupine who enjoyed satisfying little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the pasture.

The first little pig built his house of felt.

Along came the big bad porcupine, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my heart!

Then the porcupine said, "Then I'll stand by and I'll sneeze and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad porcupine stood by and he sneezed, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of silk.

Along came the big bad porcupine, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my Adam's apple!

Then the porcupine said, "Then I'll jiggle and I'll fret and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad porcupine jiggled and he fretted, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of egg shells.

Along came the big bad porcupine, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my pancreas!

Then the porcupine said, "Then I'll calculate and I'll bawl and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad porcupine calculated and bawled, he couldn't blow in a house made of egg shells. The big bad porcupine felt sober. "The joke's on me," he said, and went away doubtfully.

From that day on, the big bad porcupine never satisfied the three pigs again.