The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live beside a creek, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad prairie dog who enjoyed defeating little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors beside the creek.

The first little pig built his house of linen.

Along came the big bad prairie dog, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my spine!

Then the prairie dog said, "Then I'll wail and I'll snort and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad prairie dog wailed and she snorted, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of cold rolled steel.

Along came the big bad prairie dog, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my wig!

Then the prairie dog said, "Then I'll beg and I'll freak out and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad prairie dog begged and she freaked out, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of old newspapers.

Along came the big bad prairie dog, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my forehead!

Then the prairie dog said, "Then I'll catch up and I'll scribble and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad prairie dog caught up and scribbled, she couldn't blow in a house made of old newspapers. The big bad prairie dog felt anemic. "Holy Mother of Petunias," she said, and went away hysterically.

From that day on, the big bad prairie dog never defeated the three pigs again.