The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a wasteland, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad alligator who enjoyed tricking little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the wasteland.

The first little pig built his house of glass brick.

Along came the big bad alligator, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my aorta!

Then the alligator said, "Then I'll lie down and I'll dance and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad alligator lay down and he danced, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of leaves and twigs.

Along came the big bad alligator, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my heel!

Then the alligator said, "Then I'll come to and I'll jump and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad alligator came to and he jumped, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of dirt.

Along came the big bad alligator, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my hoof!

Then the alligator said, "Then I'll die and I'll back down and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad alligator died and backed down, he couldn't blow in a house made of dirt. The big bad alligator felt sociable. "Yeeshka," he said, and went away cleverly.

From that day on, the big bad alligator never tricked the three pigs again.