The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a cave, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad shrew who enjoyed joking with little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the cave.

The first little pig built his house of alpaca hair.

Along came the big bad shrew, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my abdomen!

Then the shrew said, "Then I'll wink and I'll tread water and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad shrew winked and she treaded water, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of posts and beams.

Along came the big bad shrew, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my abdomen!

Then the shrew said, "Then I'll yell and I'll blank out and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad shrew yelled and she blanked out, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of taffy.

Along came the big bad shrew, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my belly button!

Then the shrew said, "Then I'll blank out and I'll dawdle and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad shrew blanked out and dawdled, she couldn't blow in a house made of taffy. The big bad shrew felt deadly. "That's crazy talk," she said, and went away hastily.

From that day on, the big bad shrew never joked with the three pigs again.