Rewrite this story

Letter To Santa

Dear Santa,

For Christmas I would like three ancient muffins, four narrow photographs, four nifty soccer balls, and two imitation spools of thread.

I have been very cruel this year, so please give me more than you do Corbin.

P.S. I'll put a dish of sauerkraut and a gin and tonic on the wooden crate for you.

Your friend,

Herb