Dear Santa,
For Christmas I would like three spongy hand puppets, two prickly billfolds, four broken feathers, and three shiny backpacks.
I have been very conscientious this year, so please give me more than you do Cindy.
P.S. I'll put an oyster on the half-shell and a shot of tequila on the ironing board for you.
Your friend,
Luann