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Letter To Santa

Dear Santa,

For Christmas I would like two stuffed pairs of binoculars, two bizarre iPods, two sleek ingots of plutonium, and three disgusting hacksaws.

I have been very talkative this year, so please give me more than you do Robin.

P.S. I'll put a bowl of Cheerios and a glass of KoolAid on the card table for you.

Your friend,