Bert woke up with a coo. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a set of pink foam curlers and a bicycle helmet. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the oubliette was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited thirty of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend six hours playing fun games like rummy and Parcheesi. His mom was planning to make plenty of chocolate-covered ants and popcorn for everyone. Bert would try to blow out all twelve candles on the amber and periwinkle cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Bert would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a piggy bank! He hoped it would be a hefty piggy bank. His friend Cecil had said he would give him an arrowhead, and his dad always gave him cool stuff like the peanut she gave him last year. Bert could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a hailstorm was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his set of pink foam curlers. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the plateau. He would have to wear a gladiator helmet instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his bicycle helmet.
He tumbled downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like roasted peppers. His mom was standing there with a ladle in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with a fist bump.
"Hi Mommy!" Bert replied gracefully. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the chocolate-covered ants," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra barbecue sauce. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Bert replied coldly. "Do we have the popcorn ready?"
"I'm going to wait until five o'clock to start that," his mother replied strictly. "It only has to bake at 450 degrees F for seventy-four minutes."
"Okay," Bert replied glibly. "I'm gonna go to the oubliette."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some bread and butter in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the oubliette first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Bert responded, as he sat down to his bread and butter. "Let's hang lots of azure balloons and cover the settee and the casket with chartreuse crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother miserably. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Jennifer Xu. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a whisk."
"Yo ho ho," Bert responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a guffaw. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."