Lear woke up with a squint. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a tattoo and a stethoscope. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the porch was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited sixteen of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend eight hours playing fun games like roulette and duck duck goose. His dad was planning to make plenty of steak and cabbage rolls for everyone. Lear would try to blow out all thirty-three candles on the violet and navy blue cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Lear would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a can of soup! He hoped it would be a greasy can of soup. His friend Bonita had said she would give him a bullet, and his mother-in-law always gave him cool stuff like the curling iron she gave him last year. Lear could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a hurricane was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his tattoo. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the mountaintop. He would have to wear a corset instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his stethoscope.
He zipped downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like plastic. His dad was standing there with a dull knife in his hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" he said with a wag of the finger.
"Hi Daddy!" Lear replied sheepishly. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the steak," he replied. "I decided to make it with extra white rice. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Lear replied demurely. "Do we have the cabbage rolls ready?"
"I'm going to wait until nine o'clock to start that," his father replied suspiciously. "It only has to grill for forty minutes."
"Okay," Lear replied quickly. "I'm gonna go to the porch."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some fried okra in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the porch first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his father replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Lear responded, as he sat down to his fried okra. "Let's hang lots of forest green balloons and cover the credenza and the pedestal with olive drab crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his father irritably. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Jennessa Comstad. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a turkey baster."
"The joke's on me," Lear responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Father with a hoot. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."