Billy Bob woke up with a sneer. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a false moustache and a stethoscope. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the porch was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited twenty-five of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend four hours playing fun games like bridge and billiards. His dad was planning to make plenty of roast turkey and Cheerios for everyone. Billy Bob would try to blow out all six candles on the yellow and brilliant orange cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Billy Bob would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a campaign sign! He hoped it would be a rare campaign sign. His friend Ursula had said she would give him a purse, and his grandfather always gave him cool stuff like the crayon she gave him last year. Billy Bob could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a drizzle was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his false moustache. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the battlefield. He would have to wear a balaclava instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his stethoscope.
He bounced downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like sauerkraut. His dad was standing there with a food processor in his hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" he said with a wag of the finger.
"Hi Daddy!" Billy Bob replied tensely. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the roast turkey," he replied. "I decided to make it with extra diced pineapple. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Billy Bob replied dolefully. "Do we have the Cheerios ready?"
"I'm going to wait until three o'clock to start that," his father replied haughtily. "It only has to poach lightly for three minutes."
"Okay," Billy Bob replied sheepishly. "I'm gonna go to the porch."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some fried eggs in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the porch first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his father replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Billy Bob responded, as he sat down to his fried eggs. "Let's hang lots of ivory balloons and cover the ottoman and the hatstand with jet black crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his father shyly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Griselda Rutherford. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has an electric paint mixer."
"My gosh," Billy Bob responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Father with a coo. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."