René woke up with a woof. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a moustache and a pair of flip-flops. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the parlor was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited eleven of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend one hour playing fun games like Russian roulette and blackjack. His mom was planning to make plenty of jambalaya and lasagna for everyone. René would try to blow out all eleven candles on the amber and green cake. While the guests were eating their cake, René would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a toilet plunger! He hoped it would be a hand-carved toilet plunger. His friend Chuck had said he would give him a protest sign, and his mommy always gave him cool stuff like the needle and thread she gave him last year. René could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a sandstorm was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his moustache. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the cesspool. He would have to wear a necktie instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his pair of flip-flops.
He waddled downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like Estée Lauder. His mom was standing there with a knife in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with a sniffle.
"Hi Mommy!" René replied daintily. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the jambalaya," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra pineapple. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," René replied courteously. "Do we have the lasagna ready?"
"I'm going to wait until twelve o'clock to start that," his mother replied wryly. "It only has to blend for seventy-six minutes."
"Okay," René replied fervently. "I'm gonna go to the parlor."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some macaroni and cheese in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the parlor first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," René responded, as he sat down to his macaroni and cheese. "Let's hang lots of periwinkle balloons and cover the rug and the mattress with polka dotted crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother caustically. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Mopsy Dubois. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a corkscrew."
"Jumpin’ Jehosaphat," René responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a dope slap. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."