Calvin woke up with a clenched fist. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a helmet and a pair of socks. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the auditorium was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited twelve of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend seven hours playing fun games like blackjack and Monopoly. His mom was planning to make plenty of country glazed ham and lobster for everyone. Calvin would try to blow out all thirty-two candles on the olive drab and crimson cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Calvin would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a floppy disk! He hoped it would be an archaic floppy disk. His friend Cory had said he would give him a cactus plant, and his mom always gave him cool stuff like the pot she gave him last year. Calvin could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a sandstorm was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his helmet. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the plain. He would have to wear a fig leaf instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his pair of socks.
He hobbled downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like nail polish. His mom was standing there with a fork in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with a hiccup.
"Hi Mommy!" Calvin replied cunningly. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the country glazed ham," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra wide egg noodles. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Calvin replied dolorously. "Do we have the lobster ready?"
"I'm going to wait until eleven o'clock to start that," his mother replied wryly. "It only has to heat for sixty-six minutes."
"Okay," Calvin replied thoughtfully. "I'm gonna go to the auditorium."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some fish and chips in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the auditorium first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Calvin responded, as he sat down to his fish and chips. "Let's hang lots of peach balloons and cover the carpet and the rocking chair with scarlet crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother neatly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Lillie Tannenbaum. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a Sham-Wow!."
"Help," Calvin responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a sneer. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."