Rex woke up with a wag of the finger. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a thong and a floppy hat. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the master bathroom was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited seventeen of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend four hours playing fun games like Snakes and Ladders and Monopoly. His mom was planning to make plenty of pretzels and egg drop soup for everyone. Rex would try to blow out all four candles on the ivory and olive green cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Rex would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a coat hanger! He hoped it would be an electronic coat hanger. His friend Lauren had said he would give him a pair of binoculars, and his mother always gave him cool stuff like the skull she gave him last year. Rex could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a lightning storm was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his thong. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the stream. He would have to wear a pair of socks instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his floppy hat.
He bounced downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like roasted peppers. His mom was standing there with a chopstick in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with a flinch.
"Hi Mommy!" Rex replied intensely. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the pretzels," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra limburger cheese. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Rex replied later. "Do we have the egg drop soup ready?"
"I'm going to wait until five o'clock to start that," his mother replied bitterly. "It only has to age for twenty-six minutes."
"Okay," Rex replied steadily. "I'm gonna go to the master bathroom."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some hash in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the master bathroom first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Rex responded, as he sat down to his hash. "Let's hang lots of burgundy balloons and cover the ironing board and the bathtub with aquamarine crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother grudgingly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Dagmar Chopra. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a meat tenderizer."
"Ahoy," Rex responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a twitch. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."