Darryl woke up with a wink. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a pair of dentures and a cummerbund. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the outhouse was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited three of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend five hours playing fun games like jacks and blackjack. His mom was planning to make plenty of oatmeal and Swiss cheese for everyone. Darryl would try to blow out all twenty-three candles on the grey and olive drab cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Darryl would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a gun! He hoped it would be a woven gun. His friend Del had said he would give him a toy, and his mommy always gave him cool stuff like the fossil she gave him last year. Darryl could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a snowstorm was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his pair of dentures. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the outback. He would have to wear a tie instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his cummerbund.
He marched downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like creosote. His mom was standing there with a pastry blender in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with a sniffle.
"Hi Mommy!" Darryl replied sagely. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the oatmeal," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra potato flakes. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Darryl replied perkily. "Do we have the Swiss cheese ready?"
"I'm going to wait until eight o'clock to start that," his mother replied defiantly. "It only has to arrange for six minutes."
"Okay," Darryl replied lamely. "I'm gonna go to the outhouse."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some egg rolls in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the outhouse first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Darryl responded, as he sat down to his egg rolls. "Let's hang lots of emerald green balloons and cover the wine rack and the billiard table with aquamarine crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother cautiously. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Teresa Wapner. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a turkey baster."
"Blast," Darryl responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a sneer. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."