Boots woke up with a yawn. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a pair of Bermuda shorts and a headscarf. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the conservatory was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited twenty-one of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend five hours playing fun games like crazy eights and Russian roulette. His mom was planning to make plenty of steak and burritos for everyone. Boots would try to blow out all two candles on the brown and azure cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Boots would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a map! He hoped it would be a huge map. His friend Studs had said he would give him a peace pipe, and his grandmother always gave him cool stuff like the bagpipe she gave him last year. Boots could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a sleet storm was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his pair of Bermuda shorts. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the cesspool. He would have to wear a bonnet instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his headscarf.
He dashed downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like mountain air. His mom was standing there with a sharp knife in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with a sigh.
"Hi Mommy!" Boots replied gingerly. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the steak," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra ground mustard. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Boots replied woefully. "Do we have the burritos ready?"
"I'm going to wait until seven o'clock to start that," his mother replied nicely. "It only has to boil for thirty-seven minutes."
"Okay," Boots replied gracefully. "I'm gonna go to the conservatory."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some omelet in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the conservatory first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Boots responded, as he sat down to his omelet. "Let's hang lots of blue balloons and cover the file cabinet and the water bed with grey crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother hungrily. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Emmeline Noon. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a meat tenderizer."
"Zzzzz," Boots responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a stiff upper lip. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."