Patty woke up with a stiff upper lip. Today was her birthday! She was going to have a lot of fun today. First, she would dress up in a set of dentures and a Speedo. Then, she would run downstairs to see if the kitchen was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited nine of her closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend six hours playing fun games like tag and duck duck goose. Her mom was planning to make plenty of bread and butter and roast turkey for everyone. Patty would try to blow out all two candles on the pea green and ivory cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Patty would be opening her gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a roll of duct tape! She hoped it would be a wet roll of duct tape. Her friend Wallace had said he would give her a candy bar, and her wife always gave her cool stuff like the cigarette lighter she gave her last year. Patty could hardly wait!
She glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a downpour was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. She looked in her closet for her set of dentures. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from her day at the lakeside. She would have to wear a cowboy hat instead. She didn't really care, as long as she could still wear her Speedo.
She breezed downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like pizza. Her mom was standing there with a whisk in her hand. "Happy Birthday Honey!" she said with a jeer.
"Hi Mommy!" Patty replied excitedly. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the bread and butter," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra pork and beans. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Patty replied elatedly. "Do we have the roast turkey ready?"
"I'm going to wait until seven o'clock to start that," her mother replied victoriously. "It only has to blanch for thirty-five minutes."
"Okay," Patty replied courteously. "I'm gonna go to the kitchen."
"First, young lady, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some roast turkey in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the kitchen first?" she begged.
"It looks just like it always does," her mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Patty responded, as she sat down to her roast turkey. "Let's hang lots of azure balloons and cover the mattress and the four-poster bed with lime-green crepe paper."
"That's fine," said her mother deftly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Jasmine Parker. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a garlic press."
"Tut-tut," Patty responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a stiff upper lip. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."