Crystal woke up with a grunt. Today was her birthday! She was going to have a lot of fun today. First, she would dress up in a pair of shoes and a gunny sack. Then, she would run downstairs to see if the family room was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited twenty-six of her closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend six hours playing fun games like baseball and Russian roulette. Her mom was planning to make plenty of tacos and cotton candy for everyone. Crystal would try to blow out all twenty-five candles on the azure and mauve cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Crystal would be opening her gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a dead Dalmatian! She hoped it would be a smumpy dead Dalmatian. Her friend Lucky had said he would give her a floppy disk, and her mommy always gave her cool stuff like the cotton ball she gave her last year. Crystal could hardly wait!
She glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a hailstorm was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. She looked in her closet for her pair of shoes. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from her day at the landfill. She would have to wear a denim skirt instead. She didn't really care, as long as she could still wear her gunny sack.
She ambled downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like road kill. Her mom was standing there with a foot in her hand. "Happy Birthday Honey!" she said with a jeer.
"Hi Mommy!" Crystal replied dolefully. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the tacos," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra ground lamb. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Crystal replied primly. "Do we have the cotton candy ready?"
"I'm going to wait until ten o'clock to start that," her mother replied greedily. "It only has to scramble for sixty-eight minutes."
"Okay," Crystal replied steadily. "I'm gonna go to the family room."
"First, young lady, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some blueberry pie in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the family room first?" she begged.
"It looks just like it always does," her mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Crystal responded, as she sat down to her blueberry pie. "Let's hang lots of khaki balloons and cover the cushion and the carpet with brilliant orange crepe paper."
"That's fine," said her mother jokingly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Marcy Franklin. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a cheesecloth."
"Aye," Crystal responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a sneeze. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."