Garrett woke up with a titter. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a pair of briefs and an Eton jacket. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the billiard room was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited nineteen of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend three hours playing fun games like dodge ball and doctor. His dad was planning to make plenty of chopped liver and tuna casserole for everyone. Garrett would try to blow out all eleven candles on the chartreuse and pink cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Garrett would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a peach! He hoped it would be an original peach. His friend Candy had said she would give him a bird cage, and his wife always gave him cool stuff like the remote control she gave him last year. Garrett could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that an earthquake was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his pair of briefs. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the glen. He would have to wear a headband instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his Eton jacket.
He careened downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like chicken soup. His dad was standing there with a garlic press in his hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" he said with a hoot.
"Hi Daddy!" Garrett replied irritably. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the chopped liver," he replied. "I decided to make it with extra almond paste. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Garrett replied majestically. "Do we have the tuna casserole ready?"
"I'm going to wait until one o'clock to start that," his father replied unnaturally. "It only has to spread into container for eighty-eight minutes."
"Okay," Garrett replied pityingly. "I'm gonna go to the billiard room."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some beans in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the billiard room first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his father replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Garrett responded, as he sat down to his beans. "Let's hang lots of white balloons and cover the ottoman and the casket with brown crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his father vacantly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Gillian Schmuckley. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a turkey baster."
"Cease and desist," Garrett responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Father with a titter. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."