Alexei woke up with a finger gun. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a pair of suspenders and a helmet. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the attic was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited fourteen of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend six hours playing fun games like Monopoly and poker. His mom was planning to make plenty of prime rib and tofu for everyone. Alexei would try to blow out all eighteen candles on the beige and scarlet cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Alexei would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a whoopee cushion! He hoped it would be a cheap whoopee cushion. His friend Humphrey had said he would give him a hammer, and his sister always gave him cool stuff like the bowling ball she gave him last year. Alexei could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a tornado was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his pair of suspenders. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the neighborhood. He would have to wear a straitjacket instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his helmet.
He cantered downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like potpourri. His mom was standing there with a bare foot in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with an air kiss.
"Hi Mommy!" Alexei replied blissfully. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the prime rib," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra dry sherry. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Alexei replied impatiently. "Do we have the tofu ready?"
"I'm going to wait until twelve o'clock to start that," his mother replied testily. "It only has to melt for forty-eight minutes."
"Okay," Alexei replied menacingly. "I'm gonna go to the attic."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some omelet in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the attic first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Alexei responded, as he sat down to his omelet. "Let's hang lots of pea green balloons and cover the casket and the chest of drawers with metallic red crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother unexpectedly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Elinor Portwine. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a strainer."
"Shoo," Alexei responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a snicker. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."