Bretta woke up with a face palm. Today was her birthday! She was going to have a lot of fun today. First, she would dress up in a pair of panties and a smartwatch. Then, she would run downstairs to see if the boiler room was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited fourteen of her closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend seven hours playing fun games like seven-up and Simon Says. Her dad was planning to make plenty of wienerschnitzel and pie a la mode for everyone. Bretta would try to blow out all seventeen candles on the aquamarine and yellow cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Bretta would be opening her gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a joint! She hoped it would be a gaudy joint. Her friend Madison had said she would give her a pencil, and her grandmother always gave her cool stuff like the chamber pot she gave her last year. Bretta could hardly wait!
She glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a driving rain was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. She looked in her closet for her pair of panties. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from her day at the battlefield. She would have to wear a military uniform instead. She didn't really care, as long as she could still wear her smartwatch.
She tramped downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like roast turkey. Her dad was standing there with a spatula in his hand. "Happy Birthday Honey!" he said with a cringe.
"Hi Daddy!" Bretta replied speedily. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the wienerschnitzel," he replied. "I decided to make it with extra corn syrup. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Bretta replied steadily. "Do we have the pie a la mode ready?"
"I'm going to wait until two o'clock to start that," her father replied languidly. "It only has to blend for sixty-five minutes."
"Okay," Bretta replied gracefully. "I'm gonna go to the boiler room."
"First, young lady, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some chocolate-covered ants in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the boiler room first?" she begged.
"It looks just like it always does," her father replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Bretta responded, as she sat down to her chocolate-covered ants. "Let's hang lots of teal balloons and cover the catbird seat and the coffee table with metallic red crepe paper."
"That's fine," said her father solemnly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Shannon Draney. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a chopstick."
"Glaack," Bretta responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Father with a woof. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."