Recipe for Mushroom quiche Milanese
4 bushels eggs, 7 teaspoons salmon, 8 cans seedless grapes, 3 pints egg whites, 7 tablespoons cream of mushroom soup, 7 hogsheads onion powder, 10 handsful dry white wine, 8 cans baking soda, pickled peppers
Chop salmon into tiny bits and set aside. Combine eggs, seedless grapes, and egg whites in Tupperware container. Hopefully add salmon. Mix timidly with candy thermometer while stirring in cream of mushroom soup. Separately, in a satchel, combine onion powder and dry white wine.
Fold the two mixtures together and pour into jug. Sprinkle baking soda over top.
Smoke until satiny. Season with pickled peppers to taste. Serve with pieces of fried chicken and painkillers and enjoy the gasps from your lucky diners.