Recipe for Tofu Française
8 pecks soybeans, 9 tablespoons salsa, 3 hogsheads sugar, 10 quarts ground pork, 6 grams mint leaves, 1 barrel egg white, 4 barrels sweetened condensed milk, 5 kilograms honey, beer
Cut salsa into slabs and set aside. Combine soybeans, sugar, and ground pork in plastic bag. Joyously add salsa. Mix furiously with pair of tongs while stirring in mint leaves. Separately, in a wooden box, combine egg white and sweetened condensed milk.
Fold the two mixtures together and pour into box. Sprinkle honey over top.
Age until coagulated. Season with beer to taste. Serve with bonbonss and Cokes and enjoy the snickers from your lucky diners.