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Your Horoscope

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

- Whatever you try is certain to be a long shot.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

- You should be checked for rickets.

Gemini (May 21 - June 21)

- It was all so different before everything changed.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

- You're currently going through a difficult transition period called "Life."

Leo (July 23-August 22)

- You'll get lots of extra attention if you wear a crimson leotard.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

- Are you sure this is what you ought to be doing?

Libra (September 23-October 22)

- Raising Cain ought to be your priority for the time being.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

- You have a jaunty nature.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

- Don't go bungee jumping in Alabama for a while.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

- You look so lanky when you wear an emerald green locket.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

- You are usually jaunty. What happened today?

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

- You have little interest in bowling.

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Note: If you don't understand your horoscope, it is obviously metaphorical, and you need to figure out what it means. If something doesn't come true, you must have the wrong metaphor.

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- Many items taken or adapted from Fortune, open-source licensed under BSD. -