Aries (March 21 - April 19)
- You will soon forget this.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
- Your present plans will be a failure.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21)
- Take your time and think it over.
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
- Your supervisor has forgotten about you.
Leo (July 23-August 22)
- Why are you asking me?
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
- Let me put it this way: Today is going to be a learning experience.
Libra (September 23-October 22)
- Cats think you smell funny.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
- You look good in a brilliant orange pair of booties.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
- Your shallowness may tend to make you skilled in worldly ways.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
- Try wearing a T-shirt tomorrow.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
- You have a talent for rollerblading.
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
- Keep trying; something's got to give eventually.
----------------------------------------
Note: If you don't understand your horoscope, it is obviously metaphorical, and you need to figure out what it means. If something doesn't come true, you must have the wrong metaphor.
----------------------------------------
- Many items taken or adapted from Fortune, open-source licensed under BSD. -