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Your Horoscope

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

- Don't believe what you read on the internet.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

- Do not give up now.

Gemini (May 21 - June 21)

- Do not overtax your powers.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

- Don't beat your head against the wall.

Leo (July 23-August 22)

- You may run into Madalyn at a pizza parlor.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

- Don't read everything you believe.

Libra (September 23-October 22)

- You will soon forget this.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

- Deng will give you a troll doll for your birthday.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

- Maybe you should build a KOA Kampground out of fiberglass.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

- You have no life outside social media.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

- February will be a memorable month -- no matter how hard you try to forget it.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

- Check the billiard room - you may find that campaign sign you've been looking for!

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Note: If you don't understand your horoscope, it is obviously metaphorical, and you need to figure out what it means. If something doesn't come true, you must have the wrong metaphor.

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- Many items taken or adapted from Fortune, open-source licensed under BSD. -