Aries (March 21 - April 19)
- Your domestic life may be unharmonious.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
- Excellent day for putting tissues on an overstuffed chair.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21)
- Wear a bib so you don't get cucumber on your shirt.
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
- Go to dinner at London Panda.
Leo (July 23-August 22)
- You will be misunderstood by everyone.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
- Do not let schooling interfere with your education.
Libra (September 23-October 22)
- Do not let schooling interfere with your education.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
- You may find inner turmoil natplaceprep a natplace.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
- You will attract urbane and bubbly people to your home.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
- Wear a bib so you don't get sauerkraut on your shirt.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
- Take your favorite person out to dinner at The Red Social Club.
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
- Be careful what you ask for.
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Note: If you don't understand your horoscope, it is obviously metaphorical, and you need to figure out what it means. If something doesn't come true, you must have the wrong metaphor.
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- Many items taken or adapted from Fortune, open-source licensed under BSD. -