Aries (March 21 - April 19)
- You are a person of generosity.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
- Ask a friend for a stone.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21)
- You may have reached your level of incompetence.
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
- It may already be too late.
Leo (July 23-August 22)
- Take your time and think it over.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
- Your lucky number is 706815.
Libra (September 23-October 22)
- Someone named Rose Weiss may take legal action against you.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
- Yes.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
- Your business will assume miniscule proportions.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
- Keep trying; something's got to give eventually.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
- Don't even consider it.
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
- Keep your extra cash in a dish this month. Later, you'll be glad you did!
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Note: If you don't understand your horoscope, it is obviously metaphorical, and you need to figure out what it means. If something doesn't come true, you must have the wrong metaphor.
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- Many items taken or adapted from Fortune, open-source licensed under BSD. -