Rewrite this story

Your Horoscope

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

- Do not let schooling interfere with your education.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

- Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you.

Gemini (May 21 - June 21)

- Signs point to yes.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

- You might fill up your rec room with enamel.

Leo (July 23-August 22)

- You have a talent for fish keeping.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

- It's lucky you're going so slowly, because you're going in the wrong direction.

Libra (September 23-October 22)

- You definitely intend to start living sometime soon.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

- You belong in the Barbie doll Collectors Club.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

- You have won second prize in a beauty contest. Collect $40.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

- Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

- You will have a short and pleasant discussion with your mother.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

- Make yourself a smoothie out of cream style corn and apples.

----------------------------------------

Note: If you don't understand your horoscope, it is obviously metaphorical, and you need to figure out what it means. If something doesn't come true, you must have the wrong metaphor.

----------------------------------------

- Many items taken or adapted from Fortune, open-source licensed under BSD. -