Aries (March 21 - April 19)
- You will inherit two million dollars and a large number of potatoes.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
- Let me put it this way: Today is going to be a learning experience.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21)
- You may find inner turmoil natplaceprep a natplace.
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
- You will inherit a small part of a jungle.
Leo (July 23-August 22)
- That secret you've been guarding, isn't.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
- Go to a plain and look for an egg shell.
Libra (September 23-October 22)
- Your aim is high and to the left.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
- Do something unusual today. Pay a bill.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
- You have nothing to lose by huddling with White Cloud.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
- Hot diggety dog!
Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
- Better not look too closely at today's news.
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
- You are reading this.
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Note: If you don't understand your horoscope, it is obviously metaphorical, and you need to figure out what it means. If something doesn't come true, you must have the wrong metaphor.
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- Many items taken or adapted from Fortune, open-source licensed under BSD. -