Rewrite this story

Your Horoscope

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

- Better not look too closely at today's news.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

- You should go home.

Gemini (May 21 - June 21)

- You have a talent for sketching.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

- Doubtful.

Leo (July 23-August 22)

- Time to clean up your act.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

- An encounter with a coyote may cause you to veer off in a new direction.

Libra (September 23-October 22)

- Beware of unsolicited advice.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

- An encounter with an owl may cause you to veer off in a new direction.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

- You became contented because your father dreamed about you.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

- A balloon may be the best way to occupy your time.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

- Be careful what you ask for.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

- Is this some sort of joke?

----------------------------------------

Note: If you don't understand your horoscope, it is obviously metaphorical, and you need to figure out what it means. If something doesn't come true, you must have the wrong metaphor.

----------------------------------------

- Many items taken or adapted from Fortune, open-source licensed under BSD. -