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Your Horoscope

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

- You may find a pot to be very important tomorrow.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

- Is this some sort of joke?

Gemini (May 21 - June 21)

- You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

- Whatever you try is certain to succeed.

Leo (July 23-August 22)

- Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

- You should go to Ho Chi Minh City.

Libra (September 23-October 22)

- If Marvella stops by, try not to grow up.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

- Maybe more sleep would help.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

- Better take a close look at your bank account.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

- You don't look so suave with chili powder in your teeth.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

- Consider carrying a six-shooter for your protection.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

- They're coming to collect what you owe.


Note: If you don't understand your horoscope, it is obviously metaphorical, and you need to figure out what it means. If something doesn't come true, you must have the wrong metaphor.


- Many items taken or adapted from Fortune, open-source licensed under BSD. -