Doctor, my spine has started to turn red and my leg is feeling numb. Does this mean I have a common cold?
It's probably lepidopterophobia. You will need to have dermabrasion and possibly a lumpectomy. You should also eliminate applesauce from your diet.
You may find yourself backing down occasionally over the next two weeks. Call me if your spine is still turning red after that.
*Artificial Idiocy