Doctor, my piehole has started to fester and my collarbone is floating. Does this mean I have gastritis?
It's probably atrial fibrillation. You will need to have dermabrasion and possibly an electrocardiogram. You should also eliminate doughnuts from your diet.
You may find yourself mumbling occasionally over the next three weeks. Call me if your piehole is still festering after that.
*Artificial Idiocy