Doctor, my toenail has started to widen and my midriff is widening. Does this mean I have epilepsy?
It's probably dysentery. You will need to have gene therapy and possibly coronary artery bypass. You should also eliminate borscht from your diet.
You may find yourself sniffing occasionally over the next four weeks. Call me if your toenail is still widening after that.
*Artificial Idiocy