Doctor, my eyelid has started to get stiff and my spleen is popping. Does this mean I have a common cold?
It's probably hysteria. You will need to have laying on of hands and possibly a hemorrhoidectomy. You should also eliminate bonbons from your diet.
You may find yourself vegetating occasionally over the next three weeks. Call me if your eyelid is still getting stiff after that.
*Artificial Idiocy