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Consultation With The Doctor

Doctor, my calf has started to radiate and my intestine is swinging. Does this mean I have sleeping sickness?

It's probably delusional disorder. You will need to have inversion therapy and possibly a cheek implant. You should also eliminate blueberry pie from your diet.

You are likely to do a lot of smiling over the next six weeks. Call me if your calf is still radiating after that.