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AI* Doctor's Visit

Doctor, my fingernail has started to line up and my finger is gnarling. Does this mean I have tuberculosis?

It's probably somnambulism. You will need to have a hysterectomy and possibly Chinese food therapy. You should also eliminate ice cream from your diet.

You may find yourself dilly-dallying occasionally over the next two weeks. Call me if your fingernail is still lining up after that.

*Artificial Idiocy