Rewrite this story

AI* Doctor's Visit

Doctor, my piehole has started to break and my throat is getting sticky. Does this mean I have dropsy?

It's probably acid reflux. You will need to have a body cast and possibly an electrocardiogram. You should also eliminate sweet potatoes from your diet.

You may find yourself yawning occasionally over the next five weeks. Call me if your piehole is still breaking after that.

*Artificial Idiocy