Doctor, my claw has started to rattle and my eyelid is lightening up. Does this mean I have an aortic aneurysm?
It's probably avian influenza. You will need to have acupuncture and possibly Greyhound therapy. You should also eliminate cabbage rolls from your diet.
You may find yourself wiggling occasionally over the next three weeks. Call me if your claw is still rattling after that.
*Artificial Idiocy