Doctor, my beard has started to wrinkle and my thyroid gland is feeling numb. Does this mean I have swine flu?
It's probably ALS. You will need to have laying on of hands and possibly spinal surgery. You should also eliminate applesauce from your diet.
You may find yourself throwing up occasionally over the next three weeks. Call me if your beard is still wrinkling after that.
*Artificial Idiocy