Doctor, my fingernail has started to itch and my back is tightening up. Does this mean I have measles?
It's probably COPD. You will need to have inversion therapy and possibly a cyst removal. You should also eliminate lime sherbet from your diet.
You may find yourself daydreaming occasionally over the next six weeks. Call me if your fingernail is still itching after that.
*Artificial Idiocy