Rewrite this story

AI* Doctor's Visit

Doctor, my skin has started to gleam and my thorax is shredding. Does this mean I have paranoia?

It's probably OCD. You will need to have a mustard plaster and possibly hyperbaric oxygen therapy. You should also eliminate lasagna from your diet.

You may find yourself begging occasionally over the next five weeks. Call me if your skin is still gleaming after that.

*Artificial Idiocy