Doctor, my calf has started to get tangled and my thumb is getting hairy. Does this mean I have Rocky Mountain spotted tick fever?
It's probably Zika fever. You will need to have a miracle cure and possibly dermabrasion. You should also eliminate strawberry shortcake from your diet.
You may find yourself stepping aside occasionally over the next six weeks. Call me if your calf is still getting tangled after that.
*Artificial Idiocy