Rewrite this story

AI* Doctor's Visit

Doctor, my hip has started to throb and my bicep is perspiring. Does this mean I have a concussion?

It's probably rabies. You will need to have mud therapy and possibly maggot therapy. You should also eliminate chicken soup from your diet.

You may find yourself freaking out occasionally over the next two weeks. Call me if your hip is still throbbing after that.

*Artificial Idiocy