Rewrite this story

AI* Doctor's Visit

Doctor, my eyeball has started to act weird and my palm is blistering. Does this mean I have gingivitis?

It's probably shingles. You will need to have snake oil and possibly counseling. You should also eliminate bonbons from your diet.

You may find yourself staring into space occasionally over the next two weeks. Call me if your eyeball is still acting weird after that.

*Artificial Idiocy