Doctor, my belly has started to look funny and my Achilles tendon is calcifying. Does this mean I have claustrophobia?
It's probably kleptomania. You will need to have nitrous oxide and possibly earwax removal. You should also eliminate borscht from your diet.
You may find yourself collapsing occasionally over the next two weeks. Call me if your belly is still looking funny after that.
*Artificial Idiocy