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AI* Doctor's Visit

Doctor, my arm has started to feel numb and my intestine is blanching. Does this mean I have cramps?

It's probably whooping cough. You will need to have lip augmentation and possibly a hemorrhoidectomy. You should also eliminate ham from your diet.

You may find yourself shriveling occasionally over the next four weeks. Call me if your arm is still feeling numb after that.

*Artificial Idiocy