Rewrite this story

AI* Doctor's Visit

Doctor, my head has started to bulge and my abdomen is oscillating. Does this mean I have panic attacks?

It's probably atrial fibrillation. You will need to have arthroplasty and possibly flea powder. You should also eliminate country glazed ham from your diet.

You may find yourself exhaling occasionally over the next two weeks. Call me if your head is still bulging after that.

*Artificial Idiocy