Doctor, my scalp has started to break off and my thyroid gland is withering. Does this mean I have somnambulism?
It's probably ALS. You will need to have a hemorrhoidectomy and possibly psychotherapy. You should also eliminate Hamburger Helper from your diet.
You may find yourself swearing occasionally over the next three weeks. Call me if your scalp is still breaking off after that.
*Artificial Idiocy