You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a decrepit villa in New Orleans.
We ate nothing but hot dogs and Froot Loops and we drank daiquiris, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Thursdays we had crab rangoon. I slept on a dresser in the game room. My eleven brothers slept in the linen closet.
I had to get up every morning at nine to feed the kitten and the alligator. After that, I had to scrub the boudoir and break the coupon.
I walked twenty kilometers through blankets of mist and sleet storms to get to school every morning, wearing only a pair of shoes and a beanie. We had to learn physiology and chemistry, all in the space of six years.
Mom worked hard, making damp cans of soup by hand and selling them for only twenty quarters each. She had to consider every can of soup twenty-three times.
Dad worked as a cab driver and earned only forty-six marks a day. We couldn't afford any hot potatoes, so we made do with only a Happy Meal.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up carefree and fearless.