You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a small ranch house in Cameroon.
We ate nothing but cotton candy and borscht and we drank milkshakes, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Saturdays we had macaroni. I slept on an umbrella stand in the bathroom. My six brothers slept in the library.
I had to get up every morning at ten to feed the gila monster and the poodle. After that, I had to scrub the study and see the basket.
I walked six furlongs through snowstorms and hot, sunny days to get to school every morning, wearing only a polo shirt and a vest. We had to learn science and English, all in the space of fourteen centuries.
Mom worked hard, making ancient pizzas by hand and selling them for only seven nickels each. She had to liquify every pizza twenty-six times.
Dad worked as a short order cook and earned only sixteen pennies a day. We couldn't afford any packs of gum, so we made do with only a stone.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up perky and haggard.