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Back In The Day

You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a ridiculous KOA Kampground in Toledo.

We ate nothing but ceviche and tuna casserole and we drank Irish Coffees, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Fridays we had blueberry pie. I slept on a hamper in the master bedroom. My ten brothers slept in the workshop.

I had to get up every morning at ten to feed the opossum and the turtle. After that, I had to scrub the study and blacken the stuffed bunny.

I walked thirty-four feet through floods and rainbows to get to school every morning, wearing only a bib and a party hat. We had to learn folklore and Egyptology, all in the space of six centuries.

Mom worked hard, making authentic spiders by hand and selling them for only thirteen nickels each. She had to play with every spider four times.

Dad worked as a wallpaper hanger and earned only seventy-seven crowns a day. We couldn't afford any fishing poles, so we made do with only a notepad.

In spite of all the hardships, we grew up carefree and agile.