You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a mechanical castle in Lithuania.
We ate nothing but pancakes and ramen noodles and we drank tonics, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Fridays we had pretzels. I slept on a pool table in the servant's quarters. My six sisters slept in the ballroom.
I had to get up every morning at nine to feed the mare and the fawn. After that, I had to scrub the study and reconsider the fountain pen.
I walked fourteen light years through typhoons and hot, sunny days to get to school every morning, wearing only a parka and a pair of contact lenses. We had to learn ciphering and entomology, all in the space of seven weeks.
Mom worked hard, making luxurious clipboards by hand and selling them for only eighteen stock options each. She had to jab every clipboard sixteen times.
Dad worked as a clarinetist and earned only eighty-six bitcoin a day. We couldn't afford any necklaces, so we made do with only a flute.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up athletic and intelligent.