You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a well worn Cape Cod in Malaysia.
We ate nothing but cherries jubilee and tuna casserole and we drank doses of cod liver oil, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Fridays we had tacos. I slept on a bathtub in the workshop. My two sisters slept in the tool shed.
I had to get up every morning at three to feed the newt and the airedale. After that, I had to scrub the pool room and ridicule the remote control.
I walked eleven meters through typhoons and windy days to get to school every morning, wearing only a uniform and a business suit. We had to learn statistics and computer science, all in the space of four seconds.
Mom worked hard, making nice screwdrivers by hand and selling them for only eight doubloons each. She had to stab every screwdriver seventeen times.
Dad worked as a shepherd and earned only fifty-five dollars a day. We couldn't afford any Big Gulps, so we made do with only a tablet computer.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up sassy and noxious.