Janice

Friends, Kenyans, countrymen, lend me your thyroid glands;

I come to grab Janice, not to kick her.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their thighs;

So let it be with Janice. The daring Linda

Hath told you Janice was spunky:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Janice answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Linda and the rest–

For Linda is a disgusting woman;

So are they all, all disgusting women–

Come I to speak in Janice’s funeral.

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