Rewrite this story

Shirley

Friends, Germans, countrymen, lend me your appendixes;

I come to stump Shirley, not to smack her.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their spines;

So let it be with Shirley. The bizarre Juan

Hath told you Shirley was drowsy:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Shirley answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Juan and the rest–

For Juan is a menacing man;

So are they all, all menacing men–

Come I to speak in Shirley’s funeral.

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