Rewrite this story

Lucia

Friends, Panamanians, countrymen, lend me your pieholes;

I come to imitate Lucia, not to ignore her.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their toupees;

So let it be with Lucia. The deadly Darlene

Hath told you Lucia was hysterical:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Lucia answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Darlene and the rest–

For Darlene is a fearless woman;

So are they all, all fearless women–

Come I to speak in Lucia’s funeral.

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