Rewrite this story

Elsie

Friends, Japanese, countrymen, lend me your feet;

I come to mess with Elsie, not to poke her.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their hips;

So let it be with Elsie. The enthusiastic Kyle

Hath told you Elsie was taciturn:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Elsie answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Kyle and the rest–

For Kyle is a freakish man;

So are they all, all freakish men–

Come I to speak in Elsie’s funeral.

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