Rewrite this story

Valerie

Friends, Israelis, countrymen, lend me your eyes;

I come to date Valerie, not to watch her.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their jaws;

So let it be with Valerie. The jaunty Jared

Hath told you Valerie was pert:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Valerie answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Jared and the rest–

For Jared is a bubbly man;

So are they all, all bubbly men–

Come I to speak in Valerie’s funeral.

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