Rewrite this story

Elaine

Friends, Lower Slobbovians, countrymen, lend me your guts;

I come to rebuff Elaine, not to break her.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their beards;

So let it be with Elaine. The happy Barnabas

Hath told you Elaine was rapacious:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Elaine answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Barnabas and the rest–

For Barnabas is a brash man;

So are they all, all brash men–

Come I to speak in Elaine’s funeral.

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