Rewrite this story

Lindsey

Friends, Lebanese, countrymen, lend me your horns;

I come to dumbfound Lindsey, not to sanitize her.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their biceps;

So let it be with Lindsey. The brave Drew

Hath told you Lindsey was wicked:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Lindsey answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Drew and the rest–

For Drew is a young woman;

So are they all, all young women–

Come I to speak in Lindsey’s funeral.

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