Rewrite this story

Jason

Friends, Samoans, countrymen, lend me your wrists;

I come to dump Jason, not to jab him.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their guts;

So let it be with Jason. The moronic Tommy

Hath told you Jason was muscular:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Jason answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Tommy and the rest–

For Tommy is a careful man;

So are they all, all careful men–

Come I to speak in Jason’s funeral.

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