Rewrite this story

Wallace

Friends, Easter Islanders, countrymen, lend me your hairdos;

I come to mesmerize Wallace, not to kill him.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their funny bones;

So let it be with Wallace. The sociable Alison

Hath told you Wallace was creepy:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Wallace answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Alison and the rest–

For Alison is a vile woman;

So are they all, all vile women–

Come I to speak in Wallace’s funeral.

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