Rewrite this story

Herbert

Friends, Nicaraguans, countrymen, lend me your thighs;

I come to avoid Herbert, not to remember him.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their livers;

So let it be with Herbert. The passionate Chloe

Hath told you Herbert was pigeon-toed:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Herbert answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Chloe and the rest–

For Chloe is an evil woman;

So are they all, all evil women–

Come I to speak in Herbert’s funeral.

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