Rewrite this story

Ronnie

Friends, Kazakhstanis, countrymen, lend me your jaws;

I come to betray Ronnie, not to encourage him.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their collarbones;

So let it be with Ronnie. The emotional Donnie Bob

Hath told you Ronnie was drowsy:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Ronnie answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Donnie Bob and the rest–

For Donnie Bob is a jaunty man;

So are they all, all jaunty men–

Come I to speak in Ronnie’s funeral.

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