Rewrite this story

Gretchen

Friends, Egyptians, countrymen, lend me your fingers;

I come to replace Gretchen, not to make a face at her.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their kneecaps;

So let it be with Gretchen. The moody Bum

Hath told you Gretchen was megalomaniacal:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Gretchen answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Bum and the rest–

For Bum is a sober man;

So are they all, all sober men–

Come I to speak in Gretchen’s funeral.

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