Rewrite this story

John

Friends, Paraguayans, countrymen, lend me your necks;

I come to reassure John, not to educate him.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their thoraxes;

So let it be with John. The ignoble Roy

Hath told you John was fiendish:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath John answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Roy and the rest–

For Roy is a yappy man;

So are they all, all yappy men–

Come I to speak in John’s funeral.

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