Rewrite this story

Lindy

Friends, Japanese, countrymen, lend me your calves;

I come to split up with Lindy, not to stalk her.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their hair;

So let it be with Lindy. The frightened Penelope

Hath told you Lindy was depraved:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Lindy answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Penelope and the rest–

For Penelope is a furious woman;

So are they all, all furious women–

Come I to speak in Lindy’s funeral.

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