Rewrite this story

Shirley

Friends, Easter Islanders, countrymen, lend me your knuckles;

I come to surprise Shirley, not to pulverize her.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their earlobes;

So let it be with Shirley. The talkative Laura

Hath told you Shirley was weird:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Shirley answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Laura and the rest–

For Laura is a careful woman;

So are they all, all careful women–

Come I to speak in Shirley’s funeral.

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