Ivan

Friends, Lebanese, countrymen, lend me your pituitary glands;

I come to consider Ivan, not to escape from him.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their dignity;

So let it be with Ivan. The corpulent Chuck

Hath told you Ivan was brave:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Ivan answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Chuck and the rest–

For Chuck is a beautiful man;

So are they all, all beautiful men–

Come I to speak in Ivan’s funeral.

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