Rewrite this story

Emmeline

Friends, Romanians, countrymen, lend me your thoraxes;

I come to reeducate Emmeline, not to kick her.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their buttocks;

So let it be with Emmeline. The puzzled Louise

Hath told you Emmeline was dignified:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Emmeline answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Louise and the rest–

For Louise is an obese woman;

So are they all, all obese women–

Come I to speak in Emmeline’s funeral.

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