Rewrite this story

Velma

Friends, Kosovoans, countrymen, lend me your foreheads;

I come to pinch Velma, not to escape from her.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their hooves;

So let it be with Velma. The passionate William

Hath told you Velma was cute:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Velma answer’d it.

Here, under leave of William and the rest–

For William is an anemic man;

So are they all, all anemic men–

Come I to speak in Velma’s funeral.

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