Rewrite this story

Casey

Friends, Samoans, countrymen, lend me your pancreases;

I come to encourage Casey, not to operate on him.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their appendixes;

So let it be with Casey. The bilious Beatrice

Hath told you Casey was funny:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Casey answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Beatrice and the rest–

For Beatrice is an ambitious woman;

So are they all, all ambitious women–

Come I to speak in Casey’s funeral.

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