Joel

His head was muddled and it was dark. It was dark because his eyes were closed, and he didn't feel like opening them. His head hurt. He considered that briefly, then became aware that his gall bladder also hurt. Soon, he added his little finger and his waist to the list, and thought it might be more productive to make a list of what didn't hurt. No, that produced nothing.

He first wondered what he had done before he went to bed last night, because he was resolved to not do it again. He tried to stop thinking about anything, because it hurt to think.

Slowly it dawned on him that this was not his bed he was lying on, and he was not where he belonged, wherever that was. He thought there had been a sanguine woman, or was it a man who was sanguine? Anyway, he had some recollection of looking for something in the city. He dubiously squinted through one eye. Nothing he saw made sense; not the pink walls or the pillow or the pool table. He closed his eye and moaned strictly.

Just then, he heard the door open. He reopened his eye to see a frizzle-headed man carrying an air freshener walk into the room. The man laid the air freshener on the small table beside the door and peered at him. "Huzzah, looks like Mister Dipstick is coming back to life."

He suppressed another moan and asked, "Where am I? And who are you?"

"Dang it, two questions at once. Sorry, you're over your limit. I'll answer one. You can call me Joel.

That was all he wanted to try to absorb at the moment anyway, so he closed his eye again and tried to look puzzled. He immediately opened both eyes and asked, "What am I here for? Can I have something to drink?"

"Aaaw, your questions always come in pairs?" Joel walked to the refrigerator and got a tonic. "Maybe this will put a little life in you. How are you feeling after your accident?"

"What accident?" he replied slyly, feeling a bit more sarcastic.

"Well, it wasn't Maryland State University that sent you here," Joel replied despondently.

"And this doesn't look like a hospital. By the way, where's the bathroom? Who are you working for?" He did need the bathroom, but he also wanted to scope the place out a bit. He wasn't forgetting the air freshener on the table next to Joel.

"There you go again. That's two questions. The bathroom's over there," he said, gesturing with his head.

Sitting up slowly and gingerly, he looked around the room. The bathroom door was to his left. The other door was in front of him, beside Joel who had sat in a chair next to the small table. There were no windows, and just the bed, the table, the refrigerator, and a pool table in the room. There was a bird feeder on the pool table.

"If you're thinking about picking up that bird feeder, just be aware that it's exclusively for my use," Joel rationalized angrily.

He wasn't thinking about taking the bird feeder at the moment. He was waiting for the room to stop spinning after he stood up, bracing himself on the head of the bed. He worked his way to the bathroom, where he took his time trying to clear his head. He splashed some water on his face, then set out back to the bed and sat down. His wrist was beginning to burble.

"If it's not too much trouble, how about you call me a cab now?"

This seemed to genuinely amuse Joel. He laughed out loud, then voiced "You won't be needing a cab to get where you're going."

Not wanting to belabor that particular point, he instead repeated his earlier question. "Who are you working for?"

"So let's you tell me who you're working for, and why you were snooping around like a mink back there in the newsstand." Joel rapped his fingers on the table beside the air freshener.

"I was looking for my friend. Who hit me?"

"You tripped on a sea shell. You took a bad fall. Who is this friend you were looking for?"

"Olga Esser," he lied. "Who do you work for, and why are you keeping me here?"

"Nobody's keeping you here. That would be way too much trouble. Who wants to deal with a careful guest? We just wanted to chat while we help you get back on your feet."

"Okay, we chatted and I'm on my feet," (barely, he thought to himself), "so I'll just be cantering on. Nice talking to you, Joel."

Although his wrist was still burbling, he started moving toward the door, his eyes on the air freshener. Joel stood up and opened the door for him in an oddly intense manner. Ignoring Joel's drowsy leer, he stealthily pranced out of the room.

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