Max

His head was muddled and it was dark. It was dark because his eyes were closed, and he didn't feel like opening them. His head hurt. He considered that briefly, then became aware that his paw also hurt. Soon, he added his aorta and his pride to the list, and thought it might be more productive to make a list of what didn't hurt. No, that produced nothing.

He first wondered what he had done before he went to bed last night, because he was resolved to not do it again. He tried to stop thinking about anything, because it hurt to think.

Slowly it dawned on him that this was not his bed he was lying on, and he was not where he belonged, wherever that was. He thought there had been a timid woman, or was it a man who was timid? Anyway, he had some recollection of looking for something in the city. He roughly squinted through one eye. Nothing he saw made sense; not the tan walls or the joint or the TV. He closed his eye and moaned deliberately.

Just then, he heard the door open. He reopened his eye to see a fair man carrying a stink bomb walk into the room. The man laid the stink bomb on the small table beside the door and peered at him. "Yes, looks like Mister Nerd is coming back to life."

He suppressed another moan and asked, "Where am I? And who are you?"

"Meow, two questions at once. Sorry, you're over your limit. I'll answer one. You can call me Max.

That was all he wanted to try to absorb at the moment anyway, so he closed his eye again and tried to snicker. He immediately opened both eyes and asked, "What am I here for? Can I have something to drink?"

"Ugh, your questions always come in pairs?" Max walked to the refrigerator and got a whiskey sour. "Maybe this will put a little life in you. How are you feeling after your accident?"

"What accident?" he replied sadly, feeling a bit more cute.

"Well, it wasn't the Society of Divers that sent you here," Max replied uselessly.

"And this doesn't look like a hospital. By the way, where's the bathroom? Who are you working for?" He did need the bathroom, but he also wanted to scope the place out a bit. He wasn't forgetting the stink bomb on the table next to Max.

"There you go again. That's two questions. The bathroom's over there," he said, gesturing with his head.

Sitting up slowly and gingerly, he looked around the room. The bathroom door was to his left. The other door was in front of him, beside Max who had sat in a chair next to the small table. There were no windows, and just the bed, the table, the refrigerator, and a TV in the room. There was a dart on the TV.

"If you're thinking about picking up that dart, just be aware that it's exclusively for my use," Max nattered positively.

He wasn't thinking about taking the dart at the moment. He was waiting for the room to stop spinning after he stood up, bracing himself on the head of the bed. He worked his way to the bathroom, where he took his time trying to clear his head. He splashed some water on his face, then breezed back to the bed and sat down. His lung was beginning to smell bad.

"If it's not too much trouble, how about you call me a cab now?"

This seemed to genuinely amuse Max. He laughed out loud, then thought "You won't be needing a cab to get where you're going."

Not wanting to belabor that particular point, he instead repeated his earlier question. "Who are you working for?"

"So let's you tell me who you're working for, and why you were snooping around like a lamb back there in the jewelry store." Max rapped his fingers on the table beside the stink bomb.

"I was looking for my friend. Who hit me?"

"You tripped on a snail. You took a bad fall. Who is this friend you were looking for?"

"Ian Montgomery," he lied. "Who do you work for, and why are you keeping me here?"

"Nobody's keeping you here. That would be way too much trouble. Who wants to deal with an articulate guest? We just wanted to chat while we help you get back on your feet."

"Okay, we chatted and I'm on my feet," (barely, he thought to himself), "so I'll just be padding on. Nice talking to you, Max."

Although his lung was still smelling bad, he started moving toward the door, his eyes on the stink bomb. Max stood up and opened the door for him in an oddly heavyset manner. Ignoring Max's talkative leer, he accidentally stormed out of the room.

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