Twigs

His head was muddled and it was dark. It was dark because his eyes were closed, and he didn't feel like opening them. His head hurt. He considered that briefly, then became aware that his vein also hurt. Soon, he added his hand and his leg to the list, and thought it might be more productive to make a list of what didn't hurt. No, that produced nothing.

He first wondered what he had done before he went to bed last night, because he was resolved to not do it again. He tried to stop thinking about anything, because it hurt to think.

Slowly it dawned on him that this was not his bed he was lying on, and he was not where he belonged, wherever that was. He thought there had been a stubby woman, or was it a man who was stubby? Anyway, he had some recollection of looking for something in the city. He timidly squinted through one eye. Nothing he saw made sense; not the striped walls or the bag of popcorn or the washing machine. He closed his eye and moaned immediately.

Just then, he heard the door open. He reopened his eye to see a gorgeous man carrying a wrench walk into the room. The man laid the wrench on the small table beside the door and peered at him. "Aarrggh, looks like Mister Vile viper is coming back to life."

He suppressed another moan and asked, "Where am I? And who are you?"

"Yowee, two questions at once. Sorry, you're over your limit. I'll answer one. You can call me Twigs.

That was all he wanted to try to absorb at the moment anyway, so he closed his eye again and tried to meditate. He immediately opened both eyes and asked, "What am I here for? Can I have something to drink?"

"Oh my, your questions always come in pairs?" Twigs walked to the refrigerator and got a tequila sunrise. "Maybe this will put a little life in you. How are you feeling after your accident?"

"What accident?" he replied cheerfully, feeling a bit more idiotic.

"Well, it wasn't the Communist Party that sent you here," Twigs replied lickety-split.

"And this doesn't look like a hospital. By the way, where's the bathroom? Who are you working for?" He did need the bathroom, but he also wanted to scope the place out a bit. He wasn't forgetting the wrench on the table next to Twigs.

"There you go again. That's two questions. The bathroom's over there," he said, gesturing with his head.

Sitting up slowly and gingerly, he looked around the room. The bathroom door was to his left. The other door was in front of him, beside Twigs who had sat in a chair next to the small table. There were no windows, and just the bed, the table, the refrigerator, and a washing machine in the room. There was a rose on the washing machine.

"If you're thinking about picking up that rose, just be aware that it's exclusively for my use," Twigs exploded tenderly.

He wasn't thinking about taking the rose at the moment. He was waiting for the room to stop spinning after he stood up, bracing himself on the head of the bed. He worked his way to the bathroom, where he took his time trying to clear his head. He splashed some water on his face, then dashed back to the bed and sat down. His piehole was beginning to heat up.

"If it's not too much trouble, how about you call me a cab now?"

This seemed to genuinely amuse Twigs. He laughed out loud, then amended "You won't be needing a cab to get where you're going."

Not wanting to belabor that particular point, he instead repeated his earlier question. "Who are you working for?"

"So let's you tell me who you're working for, and why you were snooping around like a mink back there in the electronics store." Twigs rapped his fingers on the table beside the wrench.

"I was looking for my friend. Who hit me?"

"You tripped on an acorn. You took a bad fall. Who is this friend you were looking for?"

"Allan Dodd," he lied. "Who do you work for, and why are you keeping me here?"

"Nobody's keeping you here. That would be way too much trouble. Who wants to deal with a rugged guest? We just wanted to chat while we help you get back on your feet."

"Okay, we chatted and I'm on my feet," (barely, he thought to himself), "so I'll just be swaggering on. Nice talking to you, Twigs."

Although his piehole was still heating up, he started moving toward the door, his eyes on the wrench. Twigs stood up and opened the door for him in an oddly dumb manner. Ignoring Twigs's resolute leer, he pityingly sneaked out of the room.

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