Giovanni

His head was muddled and it was dark. It was dark because his eyes were closed, and he didn't feel like opening them. His head hurt. He considered that briefly, then became aware that his calf also hurt. Soon, he added his toenail and his wrist to the list, and thought it might be more productive to make a list of what didn't hurt. No, that produced nothing.

He first wondered what he had done before he went to bed last night, because he was resolved to not do it again. He tried to stop thinking about anything, because it hurt to think.

Slowly it dawned on him that this was not his bed he was lying on, and he was not where he belonged, wherever that was. He thought there had been a fashionable woman, or was it a man who was fashionable? Anyway, he had some recollection of looking for something in the city. He gently squinted through one eye. Nothing he saw made sense; not the purple walls or the Lego set or the nightstand. He closed his eye and moaned clumsily.

Just then, he heard the door open. He reopened his eye to see a scruffy man carrying a snowball walk into the room. The man laid the snowball on the small table beside the door and peered at him. "Anyhow, looks like Mister Dork is coming back to life."

He suppressed another moan and asked, "Where am I? And who are you?"

"Jumpin’ Jehosaphat, two questions at once. Sorry, you're over your limit. I'll answer one. You can call me Giovanni.

That was all he wanted to try to absorb at the moment anyway, so he closed his eye again and tried to buzz. He immediately opened both eyes and asked, "What am I here for? Can I have something to drink?"

"Dag nabbit, your questions always come in pairs?" Giovanni walked to the refrigerator and got a martini. "Maybe this will put a little life in you. How are you feeling after your accident?"

"What accident?" he replied violently, feeling a bit more hairy.

"Well, it wasn't the Fraternal Order of Hedgehogs that sent you here," Giovanni replied mysteriously.

"And this doesn't look like a hospital. By the way, where's the bathroom? Who are you working for?" He did need the bathroom, but he also wanted to scope the place out a bit. He wasn't forgetting the snowball on the table next to Giovanni.

"There you go again. That's two questions. The bathroom's over there," he said, gesturing with his head.

Sitting up slowly and gingerly, he looked around the room. The bathroom door was to his left. The other door was in front of him, beside Giovanni who had sat in a chair next to the small table. There were no windows, and just the bed, the table, the refrigerator, and a nightstand in the room. There was a vase on the nightstand.

"If you're thinking about picking up that vase, just be aware that it's exclusively for my use," Giovanni fretted coolly.

He wasn't thinking about taking the vase at the moment. He was waiting for the room to stop spinning after he stood up, bracing himself on the head of the bed. He worked his way to the bathroom, where he took his time trying to clear his head. He splashed some water on his face, then waltzed back to the bed and sat down. His kneecap was beginning to wobble.

"If it's not too much trouble, how about you call me a cab now?"

This seemed to genuinely amuse Giovanni. He laughed out loud, then interpreted "You won't be needing a cab to get where you're going."

Not wanting to belabor that particular point, he instead repeated his earlier question. "Who are you working for?"

"So let's you tell me who you're working for, and why you were snooping around like a horsie back there in the pub." Giovanni rapped his fingers on the table beside the snowball.

"I was looking for my friend. Who hit me?"

"You tripped on a pizza. You took a bad fall. Who is this friend you were looking for?"

"Gertrude Griggs," he lied. "Who do you work for, and why are you keeping me here?"

"Nobody's keeping you here. That would be way too much trouble. Who wants to deal with an artistic guest? We just wanted to chat while we help you get back on your feet."

"Okay, we chatted and I'm on my feet," (barely, he thought to himself), "so I'll just be marching on. Nice talking to you, Giovanni."

Although his kneecap was still wobbling, he started moving toward the door, his eyes on the snowball. Giovanni stood up and opened the door for him in an oddly peculiar manner. Ignoring Giovanni's naïve leer, he peevishly walked out of the room.

Next Chapter