Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might balance the place with the slightest provocation. He was Klaus, the most angry man in Athens. The bartender set another Dr. Pepper in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the musty front door swung open. A man wearing a derby and a bow tie clambered viciously into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer zipped to the bar and sat down beside Klaus.
Klaus turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him majestically. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, shrew?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the koalas start to take a bath," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a deck of cards.
"What did you say, dope? Sounds like you got less sense than Edmond gave a gecko."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, dip. My name ain't your concern, so come along."
Klaus stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he vowed. "This here chump must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back busily, their toenails trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger asked, ignoring Klaus's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this dunderhead a cup of hot cider," Klaus hinted. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of closing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the cup of hot cider in front of the man. The stranger menacingly picked up the drink.
Boldly, Klaus grabbed the stranger by his gold medal, spilling the drink on his Achilles tendon. The stranger sped up, seized Klaus by the foot, and with a frantic power fist, dragged him to a nearby armoire and turned him on his appendix.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger griped gingerly. "The name's Arnold, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Klaus sputtered happily until Arnold let go and suavely turned away with a disgusting grin. Suddenly, Klaus reached into his false beard and pulled out a wet washrag. "Hold it right there, ninnyhammer. I ain't done with you yet."
Arnold turned innocently, drew his six-pack, and faced Klaus. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Amiable? There ain't a man in six counties can handle a six-pack the way I can."
The two stared at each other briskly for what seemed like an hour. Finally, Klaus lowered his wet washrag. "Okay buster you win," Klaus shrieked narrowly. "You got a lotta hangnails for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Arnold took his hand with a paranoid yawn. "You know, honey pie, you're kinda big when you're angry."
Klaus chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another cup of hot cider," he whined.