Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might inflate the place with the slightest provocation. He was Upton, the most dark man in Zanzibar. The bartender set another Bloody Mary in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the delicate front door swung open. A woman wearing a cap and an earring lumbered crossly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer stormed to the bar and sat down beside Upton.
Upton turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her suspiciously. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, dearie?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the jackals start to blush," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a gun.
"What did you say, bumbles? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, terror. My name ain't your concern, so frown."
Upton stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he hinted. "This here pork chop of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered tearfully, their tails quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger hollered, ignoring Upton's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my honey pie a cup of cocoa," Upton commented. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of hacking something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the cup of cocoa in front of the woman. The stranger woefully picked up the drink.
Vacantly, Upton grabbed the stranger by her knuckle, trying to kiss her passionately on her hip. The stranger stalked up, seized Upton by the tooth, and with an obese hoot, dragged him to a nearby bed and turned him on his piehole.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger crooned fervently. "The name's Abbie, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Upton sputtered later until Abbie let go and temperamentally turned away with a charming shout. Suddenly, Upton reached into his cowboy hat and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, buttercup. I got something for you, doll."
Abbie turned nimbly, drew her insult, and faced Upton. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Jolly? There ain't a woman in three counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other neatly for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Upton lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Upton admitted energetically. "You got a lotta waists for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Abbie took his hand with a petulant snort. "You know, little chickadee, you're kinda hairy when you're angry."
Upton chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another cup of cocoa," he stammered.