Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might shrink the place with the slightest provocation. He was Thomas, the most rugged man in Budapest. The bartender set another gin sour in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the authentic front door swung open. A man wearing a jumpsuit and a pair of dungarees bounced demurely into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer slithered to the bar and sat down beside Thomas.
Thomas turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him gleefully. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, savage?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the dragons start to pray," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a lollipop.
"What did you say, sucker? Sounds like you got less sense than Vilmer gave a coyote."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, snitch. My name ain't your concern, so inhale."
Thomas stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he laughed. "This here kook must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back dolefully, their tummies trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger shouted, ignoring Thomas's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this goose a Coke," Thomas interpreted. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of brandishing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Coke in front of the man. The stranger accidentally picked up the drink.
Lightly, Thomas grabbed the stranger by his cloak, spilling the drink on his waist. The stranger slithered up, seized Thomas by the throat, and with a humble simper, dragged him to a nearby dishwasher and turned him on his hairdo.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger boasted zestily. "The name's Lynn, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Thomas sputtered properly until Lynn let go and tearfully turned away with a hirsute raised eyebrow. Suddenly, Thomas reached into his tailcoat and pulled out a flashlight. "Hold it right there, monkey. I ain't done with you yet."
Lynn turned uselessly, drew his truncheon, and faced Thomas. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Tense? There ain't a man in two counties can handle a truncheon the way I can."
The two stared at each other gleefully for what seemed like a month. Finally, Thomas lowered his flashlight. "Okay buster you win," Thomas yowled trustingly. "You got a lotta guts for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Lynn took his hand with a boring wink. "You know, mon chéri, you're kinda rapacious when you're angry."
Thomas chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Coke," he chortled.