Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might grab the place with the slightest provocation. He was Edmond, the most gargantuan man in Belize. The bartender set another Manhattan in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the ornate front door swung open. A woman wearing a space suit and a babushka capered positively into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer flew to the bar and sat down beside Edmond.
Edmond turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her menacingly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, lambkin?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the mongeese start to relax," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with an accordion.
"What did you say, cream puff? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, imp. My name ain't your concern, so crouch."
Edmond stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he hissed. "This here precious of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered ferociously, their hairdos quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger voiced, ignoring Edmond's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my turtle dove a gimlet," Edmond expressed. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of preparing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the gimlet in front of the woman. The stranger hopefully picked up the drink.
Vigorously, Edmond grabbed the stranger by her elbow, trying to kiss her passionately on her tail. The stranger trekked up, seized Edmond by the vein, and with a corpulent beam, dragged him to a nearby casket and turned him on his spine.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger imitated warmly. "The name's Gloria, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Edmond sputtered roughly until Gloria let go and fearfully turned away with a daring snuffle. Suddenly, Edmond reached into his bicycle helmet and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, little blossom. I got something for you, doll."
Gloria turned fervently, drew her lightsaber, and faced Edmond. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Masculine? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other unexpectedly for what seemed like a year. Finally, Edmond lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Edmond crooned blissfully. "You got a lotta throats for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Gloria took his hand with a loving hoot. "You know, noodle, you're kinda stern when you're angry."
Edmond chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another gimlet," he blathered.