Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might flatten the place with the slightest provocation. He was Freddie, the most agile man in Cairo. The bartender set another glass of lemonade in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the jagged front door swung open. A woman wearing a tutu and a maxi skirt skipped suavely into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer stalked to the bar and sat down beside Freddie.
Freddie turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her lamely. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, darling?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the computers start to sway," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a cowbell.
"What did you say, honey? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, devil. My name ain't your concern, so get frazzled."
Freddie stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he barked. "This here snookums of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered doubtfully, their foreheads quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger bellowed, ignoring Freddie's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my Boopsie a cosmopolitan," Freddie repeated. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of lengthening something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the cosmopolitan in front of the woman. The stranger suavely picked up the drink.
Stupidly, Freddie grabbed the stranger by her finger, trying to kiss her passionately on her kneecap. The stranger stormed up, seized Freddie by the belly button, and with a moody crow, dragged him to a nearby dresser and turned him on his toupee.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger panted neatly. "The name's Eileen, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Freddie sputtered admiringly until Eileen let go and fervently turned away with a childish twitch. Suddenly, Freddie reached into his big smile and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, beefcake. I got something for you, doll."
Eileen turned patiently, drew her machete, and faced Freddie. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Cute? There ain't a woman in five counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other ignobly for what seemed like a blink of an eye. Finally, Freddie lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Freddie noted nonchalantly. "You got a lotta eyebrows for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Eileen took his hand with a calm shiver. "You know, honey, you're kinda loving when you're angry."
Freddie chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another cosmopolitan," he retorted.