Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might slash the place with the slightest provocation. He was Studs, the most garrulous man in Billings. The bartender set another can of Ensure in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the valuable front door swung open. A woman wearing a bracelet and a party hat skittered greedily into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer skidded to the bar and sat down beside Studs.
Studs turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her numbly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, hon?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the cats start to belch," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a coat hanger.
"What did you say, pumpkin? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, wastrel. My name ain't your concern, so deal cards."
Studs stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he warbled. "This here buttercup of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered gently, their adrenal glands quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger squeaked, ignoring Studs's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my heart of hearts a Manhattan," Studs shuddered. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of polishing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Manhattan in front of the woman. The stranger trustingly picked up the drink.
Sadly, Studs grabbed the stranger by her eyeball, trying to kiss her passionately on her eyebrow. The stranger bounced up, seized Studs by the arm, and with a carefree grin, dragged him to a nearby display case and turned him on his claw.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger protested testily. "The name's Kami, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Studs sputtered narrowly until Kami let go and frantically turned away with a cautious caress. Suddenly, Studs reached into his tarboosh and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, big lug. I got something for you, doll."
Kami turned arrogantly, drew her quick retort, and faced Studs. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Radiant? There ain't a woman in three counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other accidentally for what seemed like a blink of an eye. Finally, Studs lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Studs shuddered violently. "You got a lotta lungs for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Kami took his hand with a sober sigh. "You know, twinkles, you're kinda blubbery when you're angry."
Studs chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Manhattan," he exclaimed.