Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might shave the place with the slightest provocation. He was Kenny, the most forgetful man in Macedonia. The bartender set another V8 in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the chic front door swung open. A woman wearing a rain coat and an Armani suit breezed calmly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer stormed to the bar and sat down beside Kenny.
Kenny turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her hastily. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, baby-doll?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the foxes start to grimace," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a bag of popcorn.
"What did you say, sweet pea? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, crazy person. My name ain't your concern, so clear out."
Kenny stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he croaked. "This here angel-face of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered confidently, their eyeballs quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger screamed, ignoring Kenny's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my knight in shining armor a piña colada," Kenny persisted. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of washing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the piña colada in front of the woman. The stranger unexpectedly picked up the drink.
Majestically, Kenny grabbed the stranger by her spleen, trying to kiss her passionately on her pride. The stranger slithered up, seized Kenny by the kidney, and with an apoplectic grin, dragged him to a nearby pedestal and turned him on his thigh.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger bellowed glumly. "The name's Cherise, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Kenny sputtered unexpectedly until Cherise let go and lickety-split turned away with a cute clenched fist. Suddenly, Kenny reached into his pair of cargo pants and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, pork chop. I got something for you, doll."
Cherise turned urgently, drew her spit wad, and faced Kenny. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Wary? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other sagely for what seemed like a month. Finally, Kenny lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Kenny enunciated strictly. "You got a lotta knuckles for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Cherise took his hand with a brassy grin. "You know, lambkin, you're kinda megalomaniacal when you're angry."
Kenny chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another piña colada," he pointed out.