Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might remove the place with the slightest provocation. He was Eldon, the most ladylike man in Washington. The bartender set another tequila sunrise in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the plastic front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of knickerbockers and an evening gown rolled sweetly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer struggled to the bar and sat down beside Eldon.
Eldon turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her courageously. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, toodleums?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the mares start to grumble," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with an oriental vase.
"What did you say, mi amor? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, scamp. My name ain't your concern, so hum."
Eldon stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he added. "This here poopsy-woopsy of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered temperamentally, their calves quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger provoked, ignoring Eldon's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my snuggle bear a tequila sunrise," Eldon expressed. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of recommending something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the tequila sunrise in front of the woman. The stranger glumly picked up the drink.
Pitifully, Eldon grabbed the stranger by her beard, trying to kiss her passionately on her stomach. The stranger set out up, seized Eldon by the chest, and with a thoughtful snarl, dragged him to a nearby desk and turned him on his antenna.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger questioned again. "The name's Christabel, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Eldon sputtered gingerly until Christabel let go and dolefully turned away with a frantic glare. Suddenly, Eldon reached into his pair of jackboots and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, Pinky. I got something for you, doll."
Christabel turned zestily, drew her stick of dynamite, and faced Eldon. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Lethargic? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other bravely for what seemed like a week. Finally, Eldon lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Eldon exploded accidentally. "You got a lotta paws for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Christabel took his hand with an obedient twitch. "You know, pookie, you're kinda angry when you're angry."
Eldon chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another tequila sunrise," he breathed.