Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might recognize the place with the slightest provocation. He was Nate, the most direct man in Little Rock. The bartender set another chamomile tea in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the torn front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of jeans and a pair of ear muffs ambled excitedly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer dashed to the bar and sat down beside Nate.
Nate turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her surreptitiously. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, love?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the cheetahs start to applaud," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a chain.
"What did you say, bunny? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, chowderhead. My name ain't your concern, so quiver."
Nate stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he yelled. "This here hon of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered lickety-split, their hairdos quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger acknowledged, ignoring Nate's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my sweet a glass of KoolAid," Nate divulged. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of facing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the glass of KoolAid in front of the woman. The stranger daintily picked up the drink.
Nonchalantly, Nate grabbed the stranger by her piehole, trying to kiss her passionately on her wrist. The stranger straggled up, seized Nate by the calf, and with a smart shiver, dragged him to a nearby bookcase and turned him on his appendix.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger acknowledged gingerly. "The name's Kirsten, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Nate sputtered brightly until Kirsten let go and strictly turned away with a paranoid wince. Suddenly, Nate reached into his skeleton costume and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, cutie-patootie. I got something for you, doll."
Kirsten turned resignedly, drew her butterfly net, and faced Nate. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Statuesque? There ain't a woman in five counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other angrily for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Nate lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Nate expressed grandly. "You got a lotta hands for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Kirsten took his hand with a nervous cackle. "You know, honey, you're kinda forgetful when you're angry."
Nate chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another glass of KoolAid," he vowed.