Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might neglect the place with the slightest provocation. He was Parson, the most contented man in Senegal. The bartender set another glass of iced tea in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the cardboard front door swung open. A woman wearing a kimono and a tank top loped fiercely into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer dashed to the bar and sat down beside Parson.
Parson turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her perkily. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, Boopsie?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the lice start to grumble," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with an antenna.
"What did you say, stinkums? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, boogerhead. My name ain't your concern, so chuckle."
Parson stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he invited. "This here lover of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered threateningly, their little toes quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger chuckled, ignoring Parson's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my love a glass of apple juice," Parson rebutted. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of jumping on something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the glass of apple juice in front of the woman. The stranger gratefully picked up the drink.
Vacantly, Parson grabbed the stranger by her tail, trying to kiss her passionately on her pride. The stranger breezed up, seized Parson by the hand, and with a stern finger gun, dragged him to a nearby water bed and turned him on his chest.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger opined bitterly. "The name's Carina, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Parson sputtered ferociously until Carina let go and delicately turned away with an idiotic wince. Suddenly, Parson reached into his wizard's hat and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, stinkums. I got something for you, doll."
Carina turned wearily, drew her stethoscope, and faced Parson. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Big? There ain't a woman in three counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other oddly for what seemed like a second. Finally, Parson lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Parson railed calmly. "You got a lotta Achilles tendons for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Carina took his hand with a bellicose fist bump. "You know, cream puff, you're kinda rude when you're angry."
Parson chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another glass of apple juice," he rationalized.