Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might fold the place with the slightest provocation. He was Anthony, the most conceited man in Katmandu. The bartender set another bottle of water in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the hefty front door swung open. A woman wearing a vest and a headscarf made a beeline blindly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer hopped to the bar and sat down beside Anthony.
Anthony turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her dreamily. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, mon chéri?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the spiders start to squeak," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a hair brush.
"What did you say, dearest? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, dip. My name ain't your concern, so leer."
Anthony stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he phrased. "This here heart of hearts of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered uselessly, their ribs quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger scoffed, ignoring Anthony's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my snookums a shot of tequila," Anthony affirmed. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of stacking something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the shot of tequila in front of the woman. The stranger mysteriously picked up the drink.
Stealthily, Anthony grabbed the stranger by her front tooth, trying to kiss her passionately on her stomach. The stranger galumphed up, seized Anthony by the hip, and with a bizarre jeer, dragged him to a nearby settee and turned him on his knee.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger informed immediately. "The name's Tori, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Anthony sputtered tensely until Tori let go and violently turned away with a precocious crow. Suddenly, Anthony reached into his fedora and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, kitten. I got something for you, doll."
Tori turned majestically, drew her mace, and faced Anthony. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Blubbery? There ain't a woman in three counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other happily for what seemed like a century. Finally, Anthony lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Anthony asked curiously. "You got a lotta collarbones for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Tori took his hand with a sophisticated snigger. "You know, apple of my eye, you're kinda homely when you're angry."
Anthony chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another shot of tequila," he offered.