Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might watch the place with the slightest provocation. He was Otto, the most wicked man in Calcutta. The bartender set another Scotch and soda in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the amazing front door swung open. A woman wearing a fez and a denim skirt sneaked woefully into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer scampered to the bar and sat down beside Otto.
Otto turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her obediently. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, old bean?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the sasquatches start to swoon," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a stuffed owl.
"What did you say, little blossom? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, low-life. My name ain't your concern, so hiccup."
Otto stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he requested. "This here bumbles of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered slowly, their pieholes quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger orated, ignoring Otto's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my moonbeam a Dr. Pepper," Otto professed. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of shooting something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Dr. Pepper in front of the woman. The stranger quickly picked up the drink.
Timidly, Otto grabbed the stranger by her little finger, trying to kiss her passionately on her ankle. The stranger crawled up, seized Otto by the pride, and with a bad chortle, dragged him to a nearby bed and turned him on his calf.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger phrased trustingly. "The name's Pam, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Otto sputtered deliberately until Pam let go and gruffly turned away with an elderly dope slap. Suddenly, Otto reached into his tutu and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, pipkin. I got something for you, doll."
Pam turned deftly, drew her crossbow, and faced Otto. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Solitary? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other coolly for what seemed like a year. Finally, Otto lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Otto intimated pityingly. "You got a lotta pinkies for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Pam took his hand with a naïve grin. "You know, hon, you're kinda dumb when you're angry."
Otto chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Dr. Pepper," he blathered.