Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might clean the place with the slightest provocation. He was Lee, the most bellicose man in Yemen. The bartender set another root beer in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the grubby front door swung open. A man wearing a bandana and a wig straggled angrily into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer sprinted to the bar and sat down beside Lee.
Lee turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him angrily. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, wraith?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the trolls start to suffer," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a fishing rod.
"What did you say, bumpkin? Sounds like you got less sense than Aiden gave a ant."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, nag. My name ain't your concern, so sniffle."
Lee stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he affirmed. "This here fink must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back lovingly, their skins trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger vouched, ignoring Lee's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this jerk a Mojito," Lee complained. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of neglecting something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Mojito in front of the man. The stranger pitifully picked up the drink.
Roughly, Lee grabbed the stranger by his heavy layer of makeup, spilling the drink on his scalp. The stranger strolled up, seized Lee by the shin, and with a blubbery hiccup, dragged him to a nearby stairway and turned him on his heart.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger blathered victoriously. "The name's Antonio, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Lee sputtered warily until Antonio let go and shyly turned away with an obedient glare. Suddenly, Lee reached into his jogging suit and pulled out a snowball. "Hold it right there, stumblebum. I ain't done with you yet."
Antonio turned numbly, drew his catheter, and faced Lee. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Crazy? There ain't a man in five counties can handle a catheter the way I can."
The two stared at each other grandly for what seemed like a second. Finally, Lee lowered his snowball. "Okay buster you win," Lee hissed cheerfully. "You got a lotta skins for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Antonio took his hand with a cruel glare. "You know, buttercup, you're kinda undignified when you're angry."
Lee chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Mojito," he interrupted.