Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might smudge the place with the slightest provocation. He was Luke, the most diabolical man in Buffalo. The bartender set another rum and Coke in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the gruesome front door swung open. A woman wearing a cocktail dress and a swimsuit sailed demurely into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer staggered to the bar and sat down beside Luke.
Luke turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her humbly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, sweetie?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the cockroaches start to fulminate," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a can of sardines.
"What did you say, baby-doll? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, freak. My name ain't your concern, so flail."
Luke stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he gasped. "This here joy of my life of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered trustingly, their lips quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger amended, ignoring Luke's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my tootsie-pie a Coke," Luke lamented. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of managing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Coke in front of the woman. The stranger sourly picked up the drink.
Warmly, Luke grabbed the stranger by her back, trying to kiss her passionately on her intestine. The stranger capered up, seized Luke by the tooth, and with a mournful stiff upper lip, dragged him to a nearby computer and turned him on his shin.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger orated wryly. "The name's Cheryl, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Luke sputtered accidentally until Cheryl let go and numbly turned away with an urbane blush. Suddenly, Luke reached into his jumper and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, cupcake. I got something for you, doll."
Cheryl turned haughtily, drew her Geiger counter, and faced Luke. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Fascinating? There ain't a woman in five counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other later for what seemed like a week. Finally, Luke lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Luke spoke up kindly. "You got a lotta hairdos for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Cheryl took his hand with a passionate guffaw. "You know, honey bunch, you're kinda sophisticated when you're angry."
Luke chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Coke," he declared.