Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might neglect the place with the slightest provocation. He was Marty, the most cocky man in Belarus. The bartender set another Mountain Dew in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the important front door swung open. A woman wearing a black belt and a bodysuit tramped gently into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer sailed to the bar and sat down beside Marty.
Marty turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her grimly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, doll?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the dinosaurs start to exhale," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a balalaika.
"What did you say, heartthrob? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, dipstick. My name ain't your concern, so dawdle."
Marty stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he exploded. "This here tootsie-pie of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered pitifully, their kidneys quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger exploded, ignoring Marty's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my dearest a Mai Tai," Marty bellowed. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of reconsidering something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Mai Tai in front of the woman. The stranger repeatedly picked up the drink.
Calmly, Marty grabbed the stranger by her skull, trying to kiss her passionately on her knee. The stranger traipsed up, seized Marty by the shoulder, and with a wary cringe, dragged him to a nearby canopy bed and turned him on his toenail.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger phrased proudly. "The name's Joni, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Marty sputtered ferociously until Joni let go and blindly turned away with an undignified cheer. Suddenly, Marty reached into his suit and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, buttercup. I got something for you, doll."
Joni turned hopelessly, drew her cannon, and faced Marty. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Crafty? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other haughtily for what seemed like a day. Finally, Marty lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Marty drawled recklessly. "You got a lotta heads for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Joni took his hand with a stubborn grunt. "You know, sweet, you're kinda gallant when you're angry."
Marty chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Mai Tai," he enunciated.