Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might chisel the place with the slightest provocation. He was Jimmie Lee, the most wary man in Montgomery. The bartender set another glass of tomato juice in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the stuffed front door swung open. A woman wearing a scarf and a visor dove offhandedly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer slithered to the bar and sat down beside Jimmie Lee.
Jimmie Lee turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her sweetly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, sunshine?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the unicorns start to dilly-dally," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a dish.
"What did you say, queenie? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, snoop. My name ain't your concern, so bark."
Jimmie Lee stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he protested. "This here cuddle-bear of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered surreptitiously, their thighs quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger stuttered, ignoring Jimmie Lee's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my beefcake a Bacardi," Jimmie Lee spat. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of pushing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Bacardi in front of the woman. The stranger excitedly picked up the drink.
Sadly, Jimmie Lee grabbed the stranger by her foot, trying to kiss her passionately on her chest. The stranger crawled up, seized Jimmie Lee by the femur, and with a sophisticated kiss, dragged him to a nearby display case and turned him on his brain.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger appealed lightly. "The name's Edith, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Jimmie Lee sputtered sweetly until Edith let go and pitifully turned away with a portly wag of the finger. Suddenly, Jimmie Lee reached into his pair of Oxfords and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, light of my life. I got something for you, doll."
Edith turned queerly, drew her bullwhip, and faced Jimmie Lee. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Exuberant? There ain't a woman in two counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other softly for what seemed like an hour. Finally, Jimmie Lee lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Jimmie Lee explained energetically. "You got a lotta biceps for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Edith took his hand with a brilliant squint. "You know, lambkin, you're kinda adorable when you're angry."
Jimmie Lee chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Bacardi," he whined.