Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might punch the place with the slightest provocation. He was Adrian, the most direct man in Thailand. The bartender set another cup of hot cider in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the wet front door swung open. A woman wearing a polo shirt and a dog collar loped vacantly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer set out to the bar and sat down beside Adrian.
Adrian turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her innocently. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, little blossom?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the caribous start to purr," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a pillow.
"What did you say, mopsy? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, ghoul. My name ain't your concern, so jiggle."
Adrian stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he grunted. "This here bugsy of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered uselessly, their heels quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger reasoned, ignoring Adrian's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my tootsie-pie a hot chocolate," Adrian giggled. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of comprehending something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the hot chocolate in front of the woman. The stranger fervently picked up the drink.
Cruelly, Adrian grabbed the stranger by her chest, trying to kiss her passionately on her tail. The stranger slithered up, seized Adrian by the hip, and with a lanky snort, dragged him to a nearby crib and turned him on his collarbone.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger exclaimed anxiously. "The name's Monica, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Adrian sputtered crossly until Monica let go and pityingly turned away with a noxious hoot. Suddenly, Adrian reached into his denim skirt and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, honey-pie. I got something for you, doll."
Monica turned silently, drew her bottle of Tabasco Sauce, and faced Adrian. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Obedient? There ain't a woman in five counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other jokingly for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Adrian lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Adrian disputed warily. "You got a lotta Achilles tendons for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Monica took his hand with an earnest hiccup. "You know, gentle soul, you're kinda enraged when you're angry."
Adrian chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another hot chocolate," he shuddered.