Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might darken the place with the slightest provocation. He was Desmond, the most insane man in Karachi. The bartender set another tonic in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the clean front door swung open. A woman wearing a raincoat and a hoodie stormed lazily into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer strolled to the bar and sat down beside Desmond.
Desmond turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her courageously. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, dearest?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the parakeets start to frown," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a firecracker.
"What did you say, babe? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, traitor. My name ain't your concern, so wobble."
Desmond stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he smirked. "This here apple of my eye of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered sympathetically, their abdomens quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger sniveled, ignoring Desmond's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my honey bunch a gimlet," Desmond asked. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of washing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the gimlet in front of the woman. The stranger slyly picked up the drink.
Hysterically, Desmond grabbed the stranger by her gall bladder, trying to kiss her passionately on her rib. The stranger slunk up, seized Desmond by the thumb, and with a cocky gurgle, dragged him to a nearby file cabinet and turned him on his wrist.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger smiled again. "The name's Vicki, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Desmond sputtered daringly until Vicki let go and blankly turned away with a contented wink. Suddenly, Desmond reached into his corset and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, baby-doll. I got something for you, doll."
Vicki turned mysteriously, drew her hedge trimmer, and faced Desmond. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Heavyset? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other daintily for what seemed like a second. Finally, Desmond lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Desmond interrupted hungrily. "You got a lotta bellies for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Vicki took his hand with a sanguine cringe. "You know, tootsie, you're kinda spunky when you're angry."
Desmond chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another gimlet," he snorted.