Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might ruin the place with the slightest provocation. He was Harley, the most gentle man in London. The bartender set another Mai Tai in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the smelly front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of sandals and a denim skirt bounded admiringly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer sidled to the bar and sat down beside Harley.
Harley turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her gratefully. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, gumdrop?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the mules start to holler," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a package.
"What did you say, nipkin? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, cream puff. My name ain't your concern, so hiccup."
Harley stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he acknowledged. "This here old bean of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered surreptitiously, their dignity quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger drawled, ignoring Harley's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my beloved a soda," Harley squealed. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of categorizing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the soda in front of the woman. The stranger ignobly picked up the drink.
Oddly, Harley grabbed the stranger by her Achilles tendon, trying to kiss her passionately on her brain. The stranger straggled up, seized Harley by the leg, and with a generous blush, dragged him to a nearby futon and turned him on his mouth.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger asserted silently. "The name's Chloe, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Harley sputtered awkwardly until Chloe let go and numbly turned away with an unruffled honk. Suddenly, Harley reached into his pair of glasses and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, knight in shining armor. I got something for you, doll."
Chloe turned bravely, drew her flamethrower, and faced Harley. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Clever? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other frantically for what seemed like a year. Finally, Harley lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Harley joked uselessly. "You got a lotta spleens for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Chloe took his hand with an apoplectic chortle. "You know, sugar, you're kinda vile when you're angry."
Harley chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another soda," he clarified.