Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might honor the place with the slightest provocation. He was JD, the most big man in Mongolia. The bartender set another glass of apricot juice in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the crisp front door swung open. A man wearing a helmet and a garland dashed narrowly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer crept to the bar and sat down beside JD.
JD turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him unexpectedly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, doofus?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the turkeys start to lie around in bed," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a pair of knitting needles.
"What did you say, witch? Sounds like you got less sense than Wayne gave a parrot."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, dirty dog. My name ain't your concern, so moan."
JD stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he appealed. "This here noodlebrain must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back clumsily, their little fingers trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger implored, ignoring JD's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this gump a Mai Tai," JD suggested. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of jabbing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Mai Tai in front of the man. The stranger slyly picked up the drink.
Sharply, JD grabbed the stranger by his rain coat, spilling the drink on his foot. The stranger strolled up, seized JD by the lung, and with a gallant smack, dragged him to a nearby windowsill and turned him on his elbow.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger admitted dreamily. "The name's Arnie, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
JD sputtered again until Arnie let go and courageously turned away with a conscientious belly laugh. Suddenly, JD reached into his beard and pulled out a can of Raid. "Hold it right there, nerd. I ain't done with you yet."
Arnie turned frenetically, drew his grenade launcher, and faced JD. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Desperate? There ain't a man in six counties can handle a grenade launcher the way I can."
The two stared at each other noisily for what seemed like a fortnight. Finally, JD lowered his can of Raid. "Okay buster you win," JD snarled joyously. "You got a lotta aortas for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Arnie took his hand with a fascinating bound. "You know, cuddle-bear, you're kinda paranoid when you're angry."
JD chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Mai Tai," he croaked.