Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might grab the place with the slightest provocation. He was Giovanni, the most intelligent man in Aurora. The bartender set another old fashioned in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the smooth front door swung open. A woman wearing a surgical mask and a Panama hat danced automatically into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer pranced to the bar and sat down beside Giovanni.
Giovanni turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her numbly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, sparky?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the wolverines start to slobber," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a bottle of painkillers.
"What did you say, poopsy-woopsy? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, tramp. My name ain't your concern, so digest."
Giovanni stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he preached. "This here Boopsie of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered curiously, their chests quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger snarled, ignoring Giovanni's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my baby-cakes a painkiller," Giovanni comforted. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of grasping something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the painkiller in front of the woman. The stranger irritably picked up the drink.
Busily, Giovanni grabbed the stranger by her carotid artery, trying to kiss her passionately on her Adam's apple. The stranger careened up, seized Giovanni by the claw, and with a bellicose snuffle, dragged him to a nearby floor and turned him on his tooth.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger avowed fiercely. "The name's Callie, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Giovanni sputtered wearily until Callie let go and fervently turned away with a puzzled wink. Suddenly, Giovanni reached into his hoodie and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, shmoopsie-poo. I got something for you, doll."
Callie turned demurely, drew her stink bomb, and faced Giovanni. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Gentle? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other valiantly for what seemed like a month. Finally, Giovanni lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Giovanni panted crazily. "You got a lotta elbows for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Callie took his hand with a fearful power fist. "You know, twinkles, you're kinda fashionable when you're angry."
Giovanni chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another painkiller," he called.