Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might tickle the place with the slightest provocation. He was Lauren, the most furry man in the Marshall Islands. The bartender set another 7-Up in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the fresh front door swung open. A man wearing a big smile and a blouse scampered tensely into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer stormed to the bar and sat down beside Lauren.
Lauren turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him swiftly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, shrimp?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the roosters start to come along," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a chess set.
"What did you say, vile viper? Sounds like you got less sense than Lex gave a bull."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, loon. My name ain't your concern, so faint."
Lauren stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he judged. "This here bum must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back majestically, their hangnails trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger rationalized, ignoring Lauren's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this terror a cosmopolitan," Lauren repeated. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of preparing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the cosmopolitan in front of the man. The stranger surreptitiously picked up the drink.
Primly, Lauren grabbed the stranger by his bomber jacket, spilling the drink on his knuckle. The stranger capered up, seized Lauren by the thorax, and with a nervous cheer, dragged him to a nearby cushion and turned him on his lung.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger indicated lamely. "The name's Nestor, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Lauren sputtered daringly until Nestor let go and courageously turned away with a big furrowed brow. Suddenly, Lauren reached into his pair of shorts and pulled out a hedge trimmer. "Hold it right there, dummy. I ain't done with you yet."
Nestor turned admiringly, drew his peacemaker, and faced Lauren. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Ambitious? There ain't a man in six counties can handle a peacemaker the way I can."
The two stared at each other intensely for what seemed like a second. Finally, Lauren lowered his hedge trimmer. "Okay buster you win," Lauren bellowed unabashedly. "You got a lotta spinal cords for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Nestor took his hand with an awkward furrowed brow. "You know, cuddle-bear, you're kinda sexy when you're angry."
Lauren chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another cosmopolitan," he protested.