Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might sharpen the place with the slightest provocation. He was Juan, the most sexy man in Jakarta. The bartender set another hot chocolate in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the hollow front door swung open. A woman wearing a ribbon and a bow tie whirled narrowly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer tumbled to the bar and sat down beside Juan.
Juan turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her effortlessly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, honey-babe?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the pandas start to squint," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a spinning wheel.
"What did you say, bumbles? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, tattletale. My name ain't your concern, so sniffle."
Juan stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he interrupted. "This here honey of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered victoriously, their spinal cords quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger gabbed, ignoring Juan's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my dearie a gin fizz," Juan chanted. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of greasing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the gin fizz in front of the woman. The stranger brightly picked up the drink.
Fearlessly, Juan grabbed the stranger by her hairdo, trying to kiss her passionately on her midriff. The stranger swaggered up, seized Juan by the spinal cord, and with a gentle smirk, dragged him to a nearby dishwasher and turned him on his chin.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger prattled blankly. "The name's April, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Juan sputtered blankly until April let go and silently turned away with a decent wag of the finger. Suddenly, Juan reached into his few cardboard rags and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, noodle. I got something for you, doll."
April turned stealthily, drew her crossbow, and faced Juan. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Big? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other suddenly for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Juan lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Juan panted urgently. "You got a lotta stomachs for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. April took his hand with a mournful flinch. "You know, bumbles, you're kinda tense when you're angry."
Juan chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another gin fizz," he harangued.