Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might admire the place with the slightest provocation. He was Reynaldo, the most bellicose man in Waco. The bartender set another tequila sunrise in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the smelly front door swung open. A woman wearing a motorcycle helmet and a floppy hat zoomed miserably into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer tore to the bar and sat down beside Reynaldo.
Reynaldo turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her oddly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, pork chop?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the rats start to sigh," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a bird cage.
"What did you say, turtle dove? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, baby. My name ain't your concern, so hide."
Reynaldo stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he sighed. "This here doll of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered frenetically, their paws quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger alleged, ignoring Reynaldo's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my tinky-wink a grape soda," Reynaldo emphasized. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of banishing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the grape soda in front of the woman. The stranger properly picked up the drink.
Glumly, Reynaldo grabbed the stranger by her lip, trying to kiss her passionately on her tail. The stranger lumbered up, seized Reynaldo by the knee, and with a frantic dope slap, dragged him to a nearby display case and turned him on his front tooth.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger squealed fiercely. "The name's Tamara, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Reynaldo sputtered positively until Tamara let go and blindly turned away with an ambitious grunt. Suddenly, Reynaldo reached into his bracelet and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, cream puff. I got something for you, doll."
Tamara turned frantically, drew her six-shooter, and faced Reynaldo. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Hungry? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other glibly for what seemed like a month. Finally, Reynaldo lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Reynaldo affirmed humbly. "You got a lotta appendixes for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Tamara took his hand with a fearless coo. "You know, tinky-wink, you're kinda evil when you're angry."
Reynaldo chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another grape soda," he maintained.