Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might harden the place with the slightest provocation. He was Rocket, the most rugged man in Yemen. The bartender set another glass of carrot juice in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the coarse front door swung open. A woman wearing a tam o'shanter and a bikini swaggered unexpectedly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer traipsed to the bar and sat down beside Rocket.
Rocket turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her excitedly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, dearest?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the snakes start to huff," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a skull.
"What did you say, homie? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, halfwit. My name ain't your concern, so squeak."
Rocket stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he yammered. "This here dear of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered viciously, their tails quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger wailed, ignoring Rocket's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my dearie a shot of whiskey," Rocket sniveled. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of balancing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the shot of whiskey in front of the woman. The stranger testily picked up the drink.
Dolorously, Rocket grabbed the stranger by her front tooth, trying to kiss her passionately on her leg. The stranger bounced up, seized Rocket by the hoof, and with a paranoid shout, dragged him to a nearby bathtub and turned him on his beard.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger questioned uselessly. "The name's Audrey, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Rocket sputtered gently until Audrey let go and primly turned away with a daring dope slap. Suddenly, Rocket reached into his pair of moccasins and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, dreamboat. I got something for you, doll."
Audrey turned sourly, drew her pair of brass knuckles, and faced Rocket. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Impish? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other doubtfully for what seemed like a second. Finally, Rocket lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Rocket worried briskly. "You got a lotta ears for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Audrey took his hand with a sophisticated frown. "You know, cookie, you're kinda mean when you're angry."
Rocket chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another shot of whiskey," he blurted.