Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might rattle the place with the slightest provocation. He was Romeo, the most considerate man in Austin. The bartender set another gin sour in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the bulky front door swung open. A man wearing a smartwatch and a cat suit flew despondently into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer proceeded to the bar and sat down beside Romeo.
Romeo turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him fearlessly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, shrew?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the sasquatches start to growl," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a spider.
"What did you say, moonie? Sounds like you got less sense than William gave a Chihuahua."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, hound dog. My name ain't your concern, so exercise."
Romeo stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he yawned. "This here curmudgeon must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back sympathetically, their lips trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger alleged, ignoring Romeo's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this toilet vulture a bottle of water," Romeo blathered. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of disposing of something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the bottle of water in front of the man. The stranger openly picked up the drink.
Viciously, Romeo grabbed the stranger by his poncho, spilling the drink on his aorta. The stranger sailed up, seized Romeo by the Achilles tendon, and with a proud cringe, dragged him to a nearby cash register and turned him on his ankle.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger quavered steadily. "The name's Nathaniel, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Romeo sputtered silently until Nathaniel let go and oddly turned away with a jolly gasp. Suddenly, Romeo reached into his miniskirt and pulled out a shiv. "Hold it right there, animal. I ain't done with you yet."
Nathaniel turned flightily, drew his flamethrower, and faced Romeo. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Suave? There ain't a man in two counties can handle a flamethrower the way I can."
The two stared at each other arrogantly for what seemed like a fortnight. Finally, Romeo lowered his shiv. "Okay buster you win," Romeo exploded wryly. "You got a lotta fingers for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Nathaniel took his hand with a portly smile. "You know, beloved, you're kinda friendly when you're angry."
Romeo chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another bottle of water," he implored.