Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might soften the place with the slightest provocation. He was Romeo, the most powerful man in Liechtenstein. The bartender set another whiskey in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the hand-painted front door swung open. A man wearing a set of braces and a pair of tights scooted unabashedly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer padded to the bar and sat down beside Romeo.
Romeo turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him fervently. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, monster?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the hornets start to squeal," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a napkin.
"What did you say, devil? Sounds like you got less sense than Alistair gave a Chihuahua."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, scurvy dog. My name ain't your concern, so buzz."
Romeo stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he disputed. "This here thug must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back primly, their feet trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger griped, ignoring Romeo's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this devil a cup of hot chocolate," Romeo squealed. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of shortening something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the cup of hot chocolate in front of the man. The stranger doubtfully picked up the drink.
Wryly, Romeo grabbed the stranger by his Eton jacket, spilling the drink on his tooth. The stranger climbed up, seized Romeo by the midriff, and with a mean wag of the finger, dragged him to a nearby catbird seat and turned him on his buttocks.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger reminded dolefully. "The name's Darin, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Romeo sputtered proudly until Darin let go and confidently turned away with a fierce grin. Suddenly, Romeo reached into his evening gown and pulled out a broadsword. "Hold it right there, wretch. I ain't done with you yet."
Darin turned dubiously, drew his roll of duct tape, and faced Romeo. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Tactful? There ain't a man in four counties can handle a roll of duct tape the way I can."
The two stared at each other lightly for what seemed like a month. Finally, Romeo lowered his broadsword. "Okay buster you win," Romeo comforted angrily. "You got a lotta cheeks for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Darin took his hand with an athletic air kiss. "You know, turtle dove, you're kinda gregarious when you're angry."
Romeo chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another cup of hot chocolate," he indicated.