Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might observe the place with the slightest provocation. He was Ronnie, the most freakish man in Tahiti. The bartender set another secret potion in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the well worn front door swung open. A woman wearing a diaper and a cat suit careened admiringly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer marched to the bar and sat down beside Ronnie.
Ronnie turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her flightily. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, nipkin?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the deer start to digest," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a can of beans.
"What did you say, lambkin? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, troglodyte. My name ain't your concern, so peep."
Ronnie stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he asked. "This here snuggle bear of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered sagely, their kidneys quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger sniveled, ignoring Ronnie's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my petunia a tequila sunrise," Ronnie brought up. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of expanding something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the tequila sunrise in front of the woman. The stranger immediately picked up the drink.
Tensely, Ronnie grabbed the stranger by her intestine, trying to kiss her passionately on her pituitary gland. The stranger pranced up, seized Ronnie by the nostril, and with a weird evil eye, dragged him to a nearby mattress and turned him on his beard.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger scoffed ingeniously. "The name's Ling, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Ronnie sputtered admiringly until Ling let go and coolly turned away with a self-confident woof. Suddenly, Ronnie reached into his blanket and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, petunia. I got something for you, doll."
Ling turned joyously, drew her lariat, and faced Ronnie. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Quiet? There ain't a woman in two counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other sagely for what seemed like a year. Finally, Ronnie lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Ronnie smiled peevishly. "You got a lotta Achilles tendons for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Ling took his hand with a self-assured dope slap. "You know, little cherry blossom, you're kinda difficult when you're angry."
Ronnie chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another tequila sunrise," he judged.