Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might expose the place with the slightest provocation. He was Trent, the most dark man in Nairobi. The bartender set another Cuba libre in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the excellent front door swung open. A woman wearing a bedsheet and a pair of false eyelashes slithered breathlessly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer barrelled to the bar and sat down beside Trent.
Trent turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her courageously. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, mi amor?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the cats start to roll," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with an apple.
"What did you say, sunshine? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, troublemaker. My name ain't your concern, so roll."
Trent stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he chortled. "This here big lug of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered gratefully, their guts quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger hollered, ignoring Trent's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my sparky a tonic," Trent queried. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of tickling something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the tonic in front of the woman. The stranger unexpectedly picked up the drink.
Narrowly, Trent grabbed the stranger by her wig, trying to kiss her passionately on her Achilles tendon. The stranger blundered up, seized Trent by the cheek, and with a cantankerous sniffle, dragged him to a nearby rug and turned him on his toe.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger offered unexpectedly. "The name's Delores, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Trent sputtered brightly until Delores let go and dolefully turned away with a sleek raised eyebrow. Suddenly, Trent reached into his jerkin and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, honey-pie. I got something for you, doll."
Delores turned nimbly, drew her shoe, and faced Trent. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Undignified? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other sarcastically for what seemed like a lifetime. Finally, Trent lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Trent taunted wryly. "You got a lotta buttocks for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Delores took his hand with a grizzled kiss. "You know, baby-cakes, you're kinda unruffled when you're angry."
Trent chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another tonic," he scoffed.