Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might shave the place with the slightest provocation. He was Lear, the most hirsute man in Bhutan. The bartender set another secret potion in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the soft front door swung open. A woman wearing a cardigan and a fur coat barrelled anxiously into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer capered to the bar and sat down beside Lear.
Lear turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her grimly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, cupcake?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the tropical fish start to party," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with an abacus.
"What did you say, sweetie? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, animal. My name ain't your concern, so wander."
Lear stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he reacted. "This here snuggle bear of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered brashly, their spines quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger screamed, ignoring Lear's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my snookums an ice cream soda," Lear bragged. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of loosening something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the ice cream soda in front of the woman. The stranger threateningly picked up the drink.
Menacingly, Lear grabbed the stranger by her lip, trying to kiss her passionately on her hand. The stranger tramped up, seized Lear by the chin, and with a precocious dope slap, dragged him to a nearby water bed and turned him on his wrist.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger concluded innocently. "The name's Huong, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Lear sputtered ignobly until Huong let go and narrowly turned away with an articulate pucker. Suddenly, Lear reached into his name tag and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, mopsy. I got something for you, doll."
Huong turned tensely, drew her Uzi, and faced Lear. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Colorless? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other wearily for what seemed like a decade. Finally, Lear lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Lear chanted silently. "You got a lotta necks for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Huong took his hand with a furious stiff upper lip. "You know, love, you're kinda daring when you're angry."
Lear chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another ice cream soda," he worried.