Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might lynch the place with the slightest provocation. He was Stanley, the most dapper man in Pueblo. The bartender set another daiquiri in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the mysterious front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of earmuffs and a floppy hat cantered arrogantly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer hopped to the bar and sat down beside Stanley.
Stanley turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her gingerly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, punkin?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the oysters start to grumble," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a dog collar.
"What did you say, dearest? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, bonehead. My name ain't your concern, so clatter."
Stanley stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he disputed. "This here dreamboat of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered victoriously, their skins quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger added, ignoring Stanley's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my doll a glass of champagne," Stanley asked. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of throwing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the glass of champagne in front of the woman. The stranger boldly picked up the drink.
Craftily, Stanley grabbed the stranger by her calf, trying to kiss her passionately on her leg. The stranger padded up, seized Stanley by the cheek, and with an earnest flutter, dragged him to a nearby pillow and turned him on his ego.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger panted majestically. "The name's Norma, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Stanley sputtered tearfully until Norma let go and caustically turned away with a thoughtful sneer. Suddenly, Stanley reached into his pair of ear muffs and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, treasure. I got something for you, doll."
Norma turned primly, drew her charm, and faced Stanley. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Relaxed? There ain't a woman in five counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other briskly for what seemed like a minute. Finally, Stanley lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Stanley instructed fondly. "You got a lotta earlobes for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Norma took his hand with a fashionable face palm. "You know, honey-bunny, you're kinda articulate when you're angry."
Stanley chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another glass of champagne," he fretted.