Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might fold the place with the slightest provocation. He was Saul, the most childish man in Norway. The bartender set another Cuba libre in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the waxy front door swung open. A woman wearing a big red rose and a sarong climbed furiously into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer sauntered to the bar and sat down beside Saul.
Saul turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her grimly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, hot stuff?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the mosquitoes start to awaken," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a cotton ball.
"What did you say, dear heart? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, cur. My name ain't your concern, so pant."
Saul stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he asked. "This here dear of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered woefully, their pancreases quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger squealed, ignoring Saul's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my Banana Cakes a Long Island iced tea," Saul inquired. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of catching something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Long Island iced tea in front of the woman. The stranger perkily picked up the drink.
Slowly, Saul grabbed the stranger by her spinal cord, trying to kiss her passionately on her funny bone. The stranger cantered up, seized Saul by the eyebrow, and with a comely roar, dragged him to a nearby bookcase and turned him on his gut.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger avowed perkily. "The name's Elsa, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Saul sputtered immediately until Elsa let go and victoriously turned away with a crafty flush. Suddenly, Saul reached into his bodysuit and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, flower. I got something for you, doll."
Elsa turned coldly, drew her shoe, and faced Saul. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Lazy? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other happily for what seemed like a day. Finally, Saul lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Saul groaned warmly. "You got a lotta abdomens for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Elsa took his hand with a furry sniff. "You know, honey, you're kinda impish when you're angry."
Saul chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Long Island iced tea," he amended.