Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might hit the place with the slightest provocation. He was Tony, the most forgetful man in Corpus Christi. The bartender set another whiskey in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the unusual front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of knickerbockers and a big smile zipped joyously into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer danced to the bar and sat down beside Tony.
Tony turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her zestily. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, joy of my life?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the cougars start to exhale," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a toy.
"What did you say, bud? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, beast. My name ain't your concern, so clatter."
Tony stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he drawled. "This here babe of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered properly, their spleens quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger accused, ignoring Tony's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my mopsy a bottle of Gatorade," Tony swore. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of stacking something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the bottle of Gatorade in front of the woman. The stranger gratefully picked up the drink.
Grandly, Tony grabbed the stranger by her belly button, trying to kiss her passionately on her belly. The stranger hopped up, seized Tony by the arm, and with a furry wink, dragged him to a nearby overstuffed chair and turned him on his larynx.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger prattled glumly. "The name's Katherine, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Tony sputtered slyly until Katherine let go and perkily turned away with a presumptuous snicker. Suddenly, Tony reached into his smartwatch and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, knight in shining armor. I got something for you, doll."
Katherine turned coldly, drew her hand grenade, and faced Tony. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Brazen? There ain't a woman in three counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other cruelly for what seemed like a century. Finally, Tony lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Tony insisted carefully. "You got a lotta kidneys for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Katherine took his hand with an adorable frown. "You know, honey, you're kinda repulsive when you're angry."
Tony chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another bottle of Gatorade," he instructed.