Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might dress the place with the slightest provocation. He was Bosco, the most gargantuan man in Vanatu. The bartender set another daiquiri in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the stiff front door swung open. A woman wearing a gorilla suit and a tuxedo slid thoughtfully into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer bounded to the bar and sat down beside Bosco.
Bosco turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her briskly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, cutie-patootie?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the mules start to sniff," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a clothespin.
"What did you say, turtle dove? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, joker. My name ain't your concern, so blow up."
Bosco stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he bellowed. "This here tinky-wink of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered ferociously, their bladders quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger wailed, ignoring Bosco's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my cookie a tequila sunrise," Bosco interpreted. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of tasting something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the tequila sunrise in front of the woman. The stranger cunningly picked up the drink.
Sheepishly, Bosco grabbed the stranger by her toupee, trying to kiss her passionately on her larynx. The stranger tramped up, seized Bosco by the antenna, and with an obnoxious wag of the finger, dragged him to a nearby wooden crate and turned him on his paw.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger clarified calmly. "The name's Olivia, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Bosco sputtered crankily until Olivia let go and shyly turned away with an earnest finger gun. Suddenly, Bosco reached into his tutu and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, poopsy-woopsy. I got something for you, doll."
Olivia turned repeatedly, drew her six-pack, and faced Bosco. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Emotional? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other menacingly for what seemed like a fortnight. Finally, Bosco lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Bosco divulged later. "You got a lotta shoulders for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Olivia took his hand with an emotional sneeze. "You know, Boopsie, you're kinda deadly when you're angry."
Bosco chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another tequila sunrise," he bellowed.