Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might compress the place with the slightest provocation. He was Louis, the most tall man in Alexandria. The bartender set another tonic in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the amazing front door swung open. A woman wearing a bonnet and a scarf loped lickety-split into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer leapt to the bar and sat down beside Louis.
Louis turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her sympathetically. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, heart of hearts?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the poodles start to applaud," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a billfold.
"What did you say, pookie? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, old coot. My name ain't your concern, so groan."
Louis stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he rambled. "This here twinkle toes of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered warmly, their backs quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger sneered, ignoring Louis's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my heart of hearts a kamikaze," Louis spat. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of loosening something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the kamikaze in front of the woman. The stranger strangely picked up the drink.
Thankfully, Louis grabbed the stranger by her wrist, trying to kiss her passionately on her paw. The stranger traipsed up, seized Louis by the chest, and with an irate shout, dragged him to a nearby futon and turned him on his tail.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger sniffed carelessly. "The name's Triffid, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Louis sputtered doubtfully until Triffid let go and queerly turned away with a relaxed chuckle. Suddenly, Louis reached into his cheerleader's uniform and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, bumbles. I got something for you, doll."
Triffid turned uselessly, drew her bad breath, and faced Louis. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Confident? There ain't a woman in five counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other speedily for what seemed like a century. Finally, Louis lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Louis grieved automatically. "You got a lotta veins for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Triffid took his hand with a dark snuffle. "You know, bud, you're kinda sleepy when you're angry."
Louis chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another kamikaze," he answered.