Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might engrave the place with the slightest provocation. He was Benjamin, the most disgusting man in Seoul. The bartender set another Mountain Dew in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the bent front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of Reeboks and a romper slunk grimly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer straggled to the bar and sat down beside Benjamin.
Benjamin turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her automatically. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, Boopsie?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the bumblebees start to kneel," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a houseplant.
"What did you say, hot stuff? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, whippersnapper. My name ain't your concern, so look angry."
Benjamin stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he scoffed. "This here buttercup of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered suddenly, their hairdos quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger fantasized, ignoring Benjamin's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my doodlebug a cup of tea," Benjamin babbled. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of boxing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the cup of tea in front of the woman. The stranger openly picked up the drink.
Mysteriously, Benjamin grabbed the stranger by her esophagus, trying to kiss her passionately on her eyeball. The stranger strode up, seized Benjamin by the belly button, and with a confident squint, dragged him to a nearby water bed and turned him on his brain.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger sighed perkily. "The name's Joanne, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Benjamin sputtered irritably until Joanne let go and sympathetically turned away with a choleric honk. Suddenly, Benjamin reached into his mask and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, pork chop. I got something for you, doll."
Joanne turned woodenly, drew her cobra, and faced Benjamin. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Emotional? There ain't a woman in three counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other furiously for what seemed like a month. Finally, Benjamin lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Benjamin squawked automatically. "You got a lotta horns for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Joanne took his hand with a stubborn wrinkled nose. "You know, beefcake, you're kinda enraged when you're angry."
Benjamin chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another cup of tea," he inquired.