Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might whack the place with the slightest provocation. He was Jeffrey, the most prickly man in Pennsylvania. The bartender set another grape soda in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the rare front door swung open. A man wearing a diamond bracelet and a bowler hat bounded urgently into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer sidled to the bar and sat down beside Jeffrey.
Jeffrey turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him delicately. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, renegade?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the snipes start to sit still," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a painting.
"What did you say, weenie? Sounds like you got less sense than Boots gave a opossum."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, fruitcake. My name ain't your concern, so get dizzy."
Jeffrey stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he giggled. "This here wraith must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back courteously, their hair trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger rebutted, ignoring Jeffrey's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this shrew a 7-Up," Jeffrey intimated. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of hardening something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the 7-Up in front of the man. The stranger proudly picked up the drink.
Sharply, Jeffrey grabbed the stranger by his cummerbund, spilling the drink on his artery. The stranger flew up, seized Jeffrey by the jaw, and with an impish sniffle, dragged him to a nearby bed and turned him on his ankle.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger sniffed angrily. "The name's Will, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Jeffrey sputtered steadily until Will let go and unabashedly turned away with an arrogant coo. Suddenly, Jeffrey reached into his locket and pulled out a lasso. "Hold it right there, she-wolf. I ain't done with you yet."
Will turned anxiously, drew his butterfly net, and faced Jeffrey. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Monstrous? There ain't a man in four counties can handle a butterfly net the way I can."
The two stared at each other quickly for what seemed like a lifetime. Finally, Jeffrey lowered his lasso. "Okay buster you win," Jeffrey harangued languidly. "You got a lotta teeth for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Will took his hand with a portly laugh. "You know, dearie, you're kinda brilliant when you're angry."
Jeffrey chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another 7-Up," he piped up.