Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might tickle the place with the slightest provocation. He was Dax, the most choleric man in Latvia. The bartender set another glass of milk in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the rigid front door swung open. A woman wearing a cloak and a mortarboard dove cautiously into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer inched to the bar and sat down beside Dax.
Dax turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her grimly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, honey bunch?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the wolves start to pray," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a hand puppet.
"What did you say, Pinky? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, demon. My name ain't your concern, so wobble."
Dax stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he mouthed. "This here apple of my eye of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered languidly, their faces quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger lectured, ignoring Dax's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my sweet a glass of lemonade," Dax ranted. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of experiencing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the glass of lemonade in front of the woman. The stranger brightly picked up the drink.
Gratefully, Dax grabbed the stranger by her chin, trying to kiss her passionately on her thyroid gland. The stranger zoomed up, seized Dax by the palm, and with a noble flush, dragged him to a nearby table and turned him on his artery.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger hinted silently. "The name's Kjersten, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Dax sputtered sleepily until Kjersten let go and grimly turned away with a lanky raspberry. Suddenly, Dax reached into his set of braces and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, cookie. I got something for you, doll."
Kjersten turned sarcastically, drew her aspersion, and faced Dax. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Puzzled? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other demurely for what seemed like a day. Finally, Dax lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Dax pointed out angrily. "You got a lotta arteries for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Kjersten took his hand with a desperate raspberry. "You know, treasure, you're kinda dark when you're angry."
Dax chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another glass of lemonade," he began.