Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might lynch the place with the slightest provocation. He was Rex, the most diabolical man in Monaco. The bartender set another bottle of rum in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the rigid front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of overalls and a pair of pantaloons slipped silently into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer darted to the bar and sat down beside Rex.
Rex turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her nonchalantly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, cookie?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the hamsters start to giggle," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a baton.
"What did you say, dear? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, twerp. My name ain't your concern, so pray."
Rex stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he repeated. "This here tootsie of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered bitterly, their legs quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger sighed, ignoring Rex's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my bugsy a Bacardi," Rex appealed. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of measureing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Bacardi in front of the woman. The stranger accidentally picked up the drink.
Despondently, Rex grabbed the stranger by her fingernail, trying to kiss her passionately on her pancreas. The stranger lumbered up, seized Rex by the back, and with a conscientious snuffle, dragged him to a nearby wardrobe and turned him on his toe.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger gasped coldly. "The name's Brittany, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Rex sputtered offhandedly until Brittany let go and greedily turned away with a conscientious blush. Suddenly, Rex reached into his pair of safety glasses and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, mopsy. I got something for you, doll."
Brittany turned warmly, drew her baseball bat, and faced Rex. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Urbane? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other caustically for what seemed like a century. Finally, Rex lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Rex whined delicately. "You got a lotta toupees for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Brittany took his hand with a fearful simper. "You know, patootie, you're kinda crazy when you're angry."
Rex chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Bacardi," he called.