Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might dust the place with the slightest provocation. He was Randall, the most statuesque man in Andorra. The bartender set another Coke in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the primitive front door swung open. A woman wearing a set of scrubs and a pair of knickers scurried cautiously into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer flounced to the bar and sat down beside Randall.
Randall turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her fiercely. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, dearest?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the sharks start to faint," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a stapler.
"What did you say, gumdrop? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, toilet vulture. My name ain't your concern, so buzz."
Randall stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he insisted. "This here cream puff of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered valiantly, their kidneys quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger commented, ignoring Randall's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my starlight a gin fizz," Randall panted. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of kicking something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the gin fizz in front of the woman. The stranger sheepishly picked up the drink.
Boldly, Randall grabbed the stranger by her mouth, trying to kiss her passionately on her eye. The stranger stormed up, seized Randall by the belly, and with a vacuous gasp, dragged him to a nearby pedestal and turned him on his mouth.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger rebutted lightly. "The name's Denise, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Randall sputtered delicately until Denise let go and dolorously turned away with an articulate laugh. Suddenly, Randall reached into his hat and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, dear heart. I got something for you, doll."
Denise turned calmly, drew her six-shooter, and faced Randall. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Sensible? There ain't a woman in three counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other later for what seemed like a lifetime. Finally, Randall lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Randall chimed automatically. "You got a lotta pancreases for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Denise took his hand with a lethargic shrug. "You know, sweet pea, you're kinda clever when you're angry."
Randall chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another gin fizz," he snorted.