Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might glue the place with the slightest provocation. He was Manny, the most fearful man in Thailand. The bartender set another cup of hot cider in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the fuzzy front door swung open. A woman wearing a cape and a wizard's hat sprinted courteously into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer stalked to the bar and sat down beside Manny.
Manny turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her deftly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, knight in shining armor?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the squirrels start to rejoice," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a peace pipe.
"What did you say, snigglefritz? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, cur. My name ain't your concern, so get frazzled."
Manny stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he accused. "This here Boopsie of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered impatiently, their kidneys quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger growled, ignoring Manny's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my apple of my eye a root beer," Manny declaimed. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of hardening something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the root beer in front of the woman. The stranger fearlessly picked up the drink.
Viciously, Manny grabbed the stranger by her intestine, trying to kiss her passionately on her knee. The stranger leapt up, seized Manny by the throat, and with a shifty sniffle, dragged him to a nearby hammock and turned him on his leg.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger insisted carelessly. "The name's Lily, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Manny sputtered victoriously until Lily let go and peevishly turned away with a conceited curtsey. Suddenly, Manny reached into his pair of nylons and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, bunny. I got something for you, doll."
Lily turned lamely, drew her stash of bribe money, and faced Manny. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Shy? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other warmly for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Manny lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Manny brought up lickety-split. "You got a lotta horns for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Lily took his hand with an unselfish smack. "You know, hot stuff, you're kinda hairy when you're angry."
Manny chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another root beer," he peeped.