Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might stack the place with the slightest provocation. He was Marcus, the most difficult man in Namibia. The bartender set another Sangría in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the hard front door swung open. A woman wearing a birthday suit and a visor walked immediately into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer stormed to the bar and sat down beside Marcus.
Marcus turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her suspiciously. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, snuggle bear?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the hyenas start to itch," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a whistle.
"What did you say, tootsie-pie? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, coward. My name ain't your concern, so come back."
Marcus stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he yowled. "This here pookie of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered warmly, their eyeballs quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger agreed, ignoring Marcus's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my Boopsie a soda," Marcus repeated. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of tasting something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the soda in front of the woman. The stranger coldly picked up the drink.
Ferociously, Marcus grabbed the stranger by her midriff, trying to kiss her passionately on her piehole. The stranger trotted up, seized Marcus by the hand, and with an obese wag of the finger, dragged him to a nearby overstuffed chair and turned him on his pride.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger whimpered violently. "The name's Vivian, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Marcus sputtered charmingly until Vivian let go and warmly turned away with a vacuous grin. Suddenly, Marcus reached into his robe and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, sweetie-pie. I got something for you, doll."
Vivian turned hastily, drew her axe, and faced Marcus. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Megalomaniacal? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other urgently for what seemed like a lifetime. Finally, Marcus lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Marcus jeered shakily. "You got a lotta hands for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Vivian took his hand with a bad shiver. "You know, sweetheart, you're kinda weird when you're angry."
Marcus chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another soda," he grunted.