Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might hack the place with the slightest provocation. He was Billy, the most stubborn man in Sapporo. The bartender set another glass of milk in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the electric front door swung open. A woman wearing a pair of sandals and a wizard's hat clambered carelessly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer waltzed to the bar and sat down beside Billy.
Billy turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her sweetly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, twinkle toes?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the kittens start to sleep," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a barbell.
"What did you say, flower? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, culprit. My name ain't your concern, so shrug."
Billy stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he bawled. "This here toots of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered sadly, their mouths quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger babbled, ignoring Billy's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my light of my life a glass of grape juice," Billy retorted. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of liquifying something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the glass of grape juice in front of the woman. The stranger dolefully picked up the drink.
Proudly, Billy grabbed the stranger by her heart, trying to kiss her passionately on her larynx. The stranger reeled up, seized Billy by the hangnail, and with a drowsy yawn, dragged him to a nearby windowsill and turned him on his face.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger croaked tensely. "The name's Bobbie, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Billy sputtered calmly until Bobbie let go and recklessly turned away with an anemic grunt. Suddenly, Billy reached into his pair of cycling shorts and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, dearie. I got something for you, doll."
Bobbie turned slyly, drew her wrench, and faced Billy. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Generous? There ain't a woman in six counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other dubiously for what seemed like a second. Finally, Billy lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Billy railed grudgingly. "You got a lotta bladders for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Bobbie took his hand with a hirsute raspberry. "You know, hot stuff, you're kinda mean when you're angry."
Billy chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another glass of grape juice," he grieved.