Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might bite the place with the slightest provocation. He was Karl, the most confident man in Delaware. The bartender set another glass of Kool-Aid in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the rare front door swung open. A woman wearing a G-string and a tool belt skipped energetically into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer hobbled to the bar and sat down beside Karl.
Karl turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her reluctantly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, big lug?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the larks start to meditate," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with an artificial flower.
"What did you say, joy of my life? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, chump. My name ain't your concern, so swoon."
Karl stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he appealed. "This here honey-babe of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered sleepily, their gall bladders quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger decided, ignoring Karl's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my little one a hot chocolate," Karl declaimed. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of blaming something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the hot chocolate in front of the woman. The stranger hysterically picked up the drink.
Later, Karl grabbed the stranger by her back, trying to kiss her passionately on her hangnail. The stranger swaggered up, seized Karl by the esophagus, and with an impish pucker, dragged him to a nearby dishwasher and turned him on his waist.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger sobbed ingeniously. "The name's Bella, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Karl sputtered cruelly until Bella let go and openly turned away with a demented belch. Suddenly, Karl reached into his pair of cargo pants and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, little blossom. I got something for you, doll."
Bella turned effortlessly, drew her assault rifle, and faced Karl. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Wicked? There ain't a woman in four counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other slyly for what seemed like a lifetime. Finally, Karl lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Karl argued urgently. "You got a lotta toes for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Bella took his hand with a lazy air kiss. "You know, punkin, you're kinda moronic when you're angry."
Karl chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another hot chocolate," he snorted.