Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might abuse the place with the slightest provocation. He was Dick, the most zany man in El Paso. The bartender set another bottle of water in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the peculiar front door swung open. A man wearing a midi skirt and a pair of false eyelashes slumped daringly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer capered to the bar and sat down beside Dick.
Dick turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at him valiantly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, brute?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the donkeys start to hum," the man replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a Frisbee.
"What did you say, hoodlum? Sounds like you got less sense than Shepard gave a snipe."
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, loon. My name ain't your concern, so cheer up."
Dick stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he comforted. "This here dorf must wanna find out who's runnin' this place."
The bartender and the other customers moved back shyly, their thoraxes trembling.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger trumpeted, ignoring Dick's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring this noodlebrain a hot chocolate," Dick bellowed. "I want to get to know him better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of polishing something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the hot chocolate in front of the man. The stranger resignedly picked up the drink.
Coolly, Dick grabbed the stranger by his Speedo, spilling the drink on his wrist. The stranger waded up, seized Dick by the eyelash, and with a happy cheer, dragged him to a nearby desk and turned him on his little finger.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a newcomer from now on," the stranger stuttered suddenly. "The name's Ken, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Dick sputtered crazily until Ken let go and pityingly turned away with an irate glare. Suddenly, Dick reached into his necklace and pulled out a pillow. "Hold it right there, fanatic. I ain't done with you yet."
Ken turned surreptitiously, drew his blow pipe, and faced Dick. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Resolute? There ain't a man in three counties can handle a blow pipe the way I can."
The two stared at each other slowly for what seemed like a second. Finally, Dick lowered his pillow. "Okay buster you win," Dick commented thoughtfully. "You got a lotta hangnails for a man. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward him. Ken took his hand with a sociable grin. "You know, home boy, you're kinda boring when you're angry."
Dick chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another hot chocolate," he chanted.