Even from behind, the man at the bar looked like he might swipe the place with the slightest provocation. He was Jürgen, the most timid man in Seychelles. The bartender set another cup of eggnog in front of him.
There was a stir among the customers as the autographed front door swung open. A woman wearing a toupee and a bracelet danced tenderly into the room.
All heads but one turned and stared. The newcomer bounded to the bar and sat down beside Jürgen.
Jürgen turned slowly to his neighbor. He looked at her vacantly. "I reckon you're new in these parts. What's your name, light of my life?"
"I reckon I'll tell you when the fish start to groan," the woman replied.
There was dead silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a key ring.
"What did you say, old friend? Looks like you and me could have a fine time together. "
"Maybe I'm gonna have to spell it out for you, drunken royster. My name ain't your concern, so bleed."
Jürgen stood up. "You folks believe what you're hearin'?" he griped. "This here cupcake of mine needs a lesson at charm school."
The bartender and the other customers snickered arrogantly, their fingernails quivering.
"Ain't ya gonna serve me, bartender?" the stranger mumbled, ignoring Jürgen's words.
The bartender looked from one to the other, not daring to move.
"Yeah, bring my Banana Cakes a Cuba libre," Jürgen pointed out. "I want to get to know her better."
Cautiously, as though he was afraid of considering something, the bartender began to prepare the drink. Nobody dared say a word, let alone move. He placed the Cuba libre in front of the woman. The stranger suddenly picked up the drink.
Excitedly, Jürgen grabbed the stranger by her liver, trying to kiss her passionately on her hoof. The stranger reeled up, seized Jürgen by the chest, and with a self-confident sniffle, dragged him to a nearby file cabinet and turned him on his lip.
"Maybe you're gonna be more polite to a lady from now on," the stranger preached sheepishly. "The name's Magdalena, and I don't expect you're gonna forget it."
Jürgen sputtered deliberately until Magdalena let go and openly turned away with a fiendish snigger. Suddenly, Jürgen reached into his bustier and pulled out a rose. "Hold it right there, dear heart. I got something for you, doll."
Magdalena turned gingerly, drew her pom-pom, and faced Jürgen. "You sure you wanna try that, Mr. Coy? There ain't a woman in two counties can handle a jerk like you the way I can."
The two stared at each other temperamentally for what seemed like a blink of an eye. Finally, Jürgen lowered his rose. "Okay baby, you win," Jürgen spoke up hopelessly. "You got a lotta heads for a woman. No hard feelings?" He held out his hand toward her. Magdalena took his hand with a sloppy smile. "You know, apple of my eye, you're kinda playful when you're angry."
Jürgen chose to take this as a compliment. "Come on, I'll buy you another Cuba libre," he voiced.