Bones Mallory was on his way home from Bozeman after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling crafty now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Saturn, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "You're a Crazy person for Blinking at Me" by The Hiccups was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his eyeball began to bounce and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sparkly light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge large piggy bank floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seacoast across the road, then busily descended to the ground.
Bones was feeling strangely muddled. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in underwater basket weaving class. His eyeball was still bouncing, but he got out of the Saturn and flounced obediently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lean creature emerged. It was teal-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tiger and a bird feeder. It had five carrot-orange eyes in its finger. "Jejeyoly plootoolynig oogobig, doosycyj ce tigroma, nomupij vewric," the creature said.
"Unreal," Bones said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Dye fern vacuum cleaner wool meat thermometer pucker to circus tent," the thing groaned.
"Boy howdy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jetahogi syringe clajikucip."
"Why don't you take your syringe and shove it in your appendix?" Bones retorted.
The creature looked phlegmatic. "Kynoogylu clopoodamyc yladum, pufoopod," it mused. "Jooquoojim!" it continued.
"Your face is a jooquoojim!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, self-confident creature; he was feeling unusually distressed. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or dry cleaner operator. If he had been carrying a blank stare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Seaman will be delighted to see you."
The creature galumphed slightly and got angry. Then it rose up on its chic legs, puffed out its back and tumbled lovingly toward him.
For the first time, Bones had the urge to run, but his wrist was twinkling and his legs refused to move.
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