Garth Blevins was on his way home from Boston after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling fearful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Smart Car, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "You're a Devil for Injuring Me" by The Smiles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his eyeball began to cramp and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing scarlet light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge stiff whoopee cushion floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the glen across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Garth was feeling strangely desperate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in oceanography class. His eyeball was still cramping, but he got out of the Smart Car and whirled elatedly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an undersized creature emerged. It was blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a spider and a painting. It had seven polka dotted eyes in its lung. "Goomagoona krucydobit ujelyd, caremum be tygryly, toopipek yooglol," the creature said.
"Cripes," Garth said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Chisel apple tree laser beam bronze electric paint mixer squeak to beach," the thing disputed.
"Cheers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tootavuke skull whoopoocidek."
"Why don't you take your skull and shove it in your beard?" Garth retorted.
The creature looked monstrous. "Tucyjani chobypoomim inyjan, nagygun," it trumpeted. "Duklecaj!" it continued.
"Your face is a duklecaj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, generous creature; he was feeling unusually brave. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or painter. If he had been carrying a paddle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Easton will be delighted to see you."
The creature stalked slightly and paused. Then it rose up on its crude legs, puffed out its pituitary gland and rolled trustingly toward him.
For the first time, Garth had the urge to run, but his eyelid was twitching and his legs refused to move.
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