Hildegarde Morrison was on her way home from Wichita after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling nervous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her wheelbarrow, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arizona, etc. etc. "You're a Bum for Controlling Me" by The Stiff upper lips was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her forehead began to ache and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing polka dotted light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ridged battery floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mesa across the road, then reluctantly descended to the ground.
Hildegarde was feeling strangely carefree. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in the alphabet class. Her forehead was still aching, but she got out of the wheelbarrow and slunk smoothly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a graceful creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a crab and a notepad. It had seven navy blue eyes in its knuckle. "Gumofile phylijikug ymonek, kiwelyp la dapropa, dekupab hawrym," the creature said.
"Goodness," Hildegarde said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Lengthen rock meat grinder gold ladle watch to country meadow," the thing yammered.
"Nonsense. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mitoocigy boomerang prucibajom."
"Why don't you take your boomerang and shove it in your abdomen?" Hildegarde retorted.
The creature looked stubborn. "Kupoozuboo groocoocubat enadoom, buzakyp," it groaned. "Lyghirib!" it continued.
"Your face is a lyghirib!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, charming creature; she was feeling unusually cheerful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or prison guard. If she had been carrying a wet washrag, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bundy will be delighted to see you."
The creature waddled slightly and knelt. Then it rose up on its bizarre legs, puffed out its finger and padded frenetically toward her.
For the first time, Hildegarde had the urge to run, but her hip was bulging and her legs refused to move.
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