Bethany Pierce was on her way home from Clarksville after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling amiable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagen Passat, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kansas, etc. etc. "You're a Bumpkin for Overlooking Me" by The Honks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hand began to roast and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge luxurious paperweight floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cliff across the road, then speedily descended to the ground.
Bethany was feeling strangely dumb. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Samoan class. Her hand was still roasting, but she got out of the Volkswagen Passat and slithered dreamily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a good looking creature emerged. It was magenta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a canary and a hat. It had eight grey eyes in its palm. "Kedozame clelukabam icepap, burecoj mu kydrycoo, mibipok raklat," the creature said.
"Piffle," Bethany said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shave cedar tree laser beam clay pair of chopsticks snort to park," the thing announced.
"Gotta love it. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kobevyti statue quykebecak."
"Why don't you take your statue and shove it in your thumb?" Bethany retorted.
The creature looked refined. "Kecifebu pregetepol ojyjool, legemag," it spouted. "Totrojood!" it continued.
"Your face is a totrojood!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, generous creature; she was feeling unusually ambitious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or cardiologist. If she had been carrying an AK-47, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Jordan will be delighted to see you."
The creature slid slightly and puckered. Then it rose up on its papery legs, puffed out its thyroid gland and zipped peevishly toward her.
For the first time, Bethany had the urge to run, but her wig was roasting and her legs refused to move.
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