Octavio Craig was on his way home from Laredo after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. He was driving his shopping cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oregon, etc. etc. "I'm an Eager beaver for Poking You" by The Snuffles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his kidney began to reek and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jade light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gleaming basket floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hill across the road, then diligently descended to the ground.
Octavio was feeling strangely peculiar. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in human development class. His kidney was still reeking, but he got out of the shopping cart and trotted again toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sexy creature emerged. It was lavender-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lion and a knitting needle. It had seven turquoise eyes in its hoof. "Jagoocoty phidabykoob oodookij, luzoolop ti cacrube, dobytel sooflyt," the creature said.
"Huh," Octavio said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Scratch stone scrub brush plaster of Paris potato peeler gesticulate to buffalo wallow," the thing warbled.
"I'll drink to that. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kacisede doily slypijegek."
"Why don't you take your doily and shove it in your midriff?" Octavio retorted.
The creature looked dark. "Pukoosekoo whedabanoc ujoobut, kujitik," it demanded. "Juchuyam!" it continued.
"Your face is a juchuyam!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, merry creature; he was feeling unusually stubborn. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or researcher. If he had been carrying an air horn, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Dubois will be delighted to see you."
The creature straggled slightly and played Duck Duck Goose. Then it rose up on its polished legs, puffed out its funny bone and pranced nicely toward him.
For the first time, Octavio had the urge to run, but his pride was crackling and his legs refused to move.
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