Desmond Keefe was on his way home from Bonn after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cautious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Infiniti, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Ohio, etc. etc. "I'm a Dingleberry for Biting You" by The Shivers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his spine began to shimmer and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing camouflage light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge large balloon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the butte across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
Desmond was feeling strangely modest. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in horticulture class. His spine was still shimmering, but he got out of the Infiniti and tore sharply toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pretty creature emerged. It was brilliant orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hippopotamus and a magnet. It had three camouflage eyes in its hangnail. "Pugogole glepylupuj ocidip, gocooken gu desloto, cydooluk githeg," the creature said.
"Oh," Desmond said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pat sea shell powder puff onyx sharp knife crouch to savanna," the thing avowed.
"Tailfeathers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cytajonu billfold cragoopanub."
"Why don't you take your billfold and shove it in your toe?" Desmond retorted.
The creature looked witty. "Gujyyoobo slycapalik ikegyp, niyupim," it agreed. "Gesligig!" it continued.
"Your face is a gesligig!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, loving creature; he was feeling unusually peckish. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or convenience store clerk. If he had been carrying a water balloon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Perkins will be delighted to see you."
The creature galloped slightly and talked. Then it rose up on its aromatic legs, puffed out its nose and scooted unabashedly toward him.
For the first time, Desmond had the urge to run, but his chest was waving and his legs refused to move.
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