Dagmar Friezbergen was on her way home from Austin after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling desperate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her black sedan, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Indiana, etc. etc. "You're a Lubberly lout for Thumping Me" by The Finger guns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her brain began to perspire and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing yellow light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ridiculous hair brush floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the butte across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Dagmar was feeling strangely brave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in psychology class. Her brain was still perspiring, but she got out of the black sedan and dashed fearlessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a redheaded creature emerged. It was periwinkle-ish in color and looked like a cross between a fox and a hat. It had seven aquamarine eyes in its femur. "Ladisida wrabekapap oojykuk, nivedij nu ciplity, bijemoop hooclat," the creature said.
"Bada bing bada boom," Dagmar said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Choke twig cotton swab pipe cleaner basting brush swallow to circus tent," the thing appealed.
"Sweet. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jolyguga iPad drypopycoc."
"Why don't you take your iPad and shove it in your wig?" Dagmar retorted.
The creature looked statuesque. "Gupasati ghomybycum ukoonat, pyyyceb," it opined. "Bigloocik!" it continued.
"Your face is a bigloocik!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, decent creature; she was feeling unusually pensive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or cowboy. If she had been carrying a broadsword, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Cain will be delighted to see you."
The creature jumped slightly and backed up. Then it rose up on its magnificent legs, puffed out its lung and slithered numbly toward her.
For the first time, Dagmar had the urge to run, but her dignity was coming loose and her legs refused to move.
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