Nora Borovich was on her way home from Atlanta after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her station wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kansas, etc. etc. "You're a Ding dong for Losing Me" by The Puckers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her abdomen began to close down and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing tan light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hefty pink flamingo floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the meadow across the road, then at a dawdle descended to the ground.
Nora was feeling strangely somber. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in English class. Her abdomen was still closing down, but she got out of the station wagon and tiptoed softly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an obese creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gerbil and a cane. It had three salmon eyes in its lung. "Nypefumoo crynejoocoon akukyb, juzalud bu nidraca, tegukej zyflod," the creature said.
"Good gracious," Nora said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Prune leaf vacuum cleaner ribbons potato peeler vomit to lagoon," the thing protested.
"Lordy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Ditiyada key wrinymoogyk."
"Why don't you take your key and shove it in your eye?" Nora retorted.
The creature looked rude. "Gilyjoogi drapebutup etonab, guyotic," it wept. "Jufrizeb!" it continued.
"Your face is a jufrizeb!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, prickly creature; she was feeling unusually affable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or quarantine inspector. If she had been carrying a Bowie knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Baldwin will be delighted to see you."
The creature lumbered slightly and fell asleep. Then it rose up on its waxy legs, puffed out its hoof and loped ruefully toward her.
For the first time, Nora had the urge to run, but her toupee was perking up and her legs refused to move.
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