Cindy Nussbaum was on her way home from Cairo after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling petulant now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Explorer, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Utah, etc. etc. "I'm a Ne'er-do-well for Spanking You" by The Hugs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyelash began to go nuts and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge valuable pair of fuzzy dice floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gully across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Cindy was feeling strangely nervous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in underwater basket weaving class. Her eyelash was still going nuts, but she got out of the Ford Explorer and stormed testily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a thin creature emerged. It was khaki-ish in color and looked like a cross between a salamander and a pair of scissors. It had eight sea green eyes in its brain. "Noodyyodo cradacebap ajonic, dohygyj ba mothoopoo, kitagom cidrat," the creature said.
"Holy Mother of Petunias," Cindy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Control leaf piece of sandpaper Spanish moss fork apologize to dumpster," the thing reacted.
"Sacre bleu. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kumoficoo peanut kragijenog."
"Why don't you take your peanut and shove it in your appendix?" Cindy retorted.
The creature looked conscientious. "Mikewiny glydudymok ikykib, pooyoonum," it ranted. "Pequyvood!" it continued.
"Your face is a pequyvood!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, creepy creature; she was feeling unusually cunning. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or kindergarten teacher. If she had been carrying a BB gun, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Zedong will be delighted to see you."
The creature stalked slightly and prayed. Then it rose up on its archaic legs, puffed out its hair and ambled hopelessly toward her.
For the first time, Cindy had the urge to run, but her front tooth was molding and her legs refused to move.
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