Terri Oldfather was on her way home from Addis Ababa after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling hysterical now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Jeep, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Missouri, etc. etc. "I'm a Flake for Bonding with You" by The Wags of the finger was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her paw began to loosen up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing teal light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge spongy pair of knitting needles floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dumpster across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Terri was feeling strangely sarcastic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Estonian history class. Her paw was still loosening up, but she got out of the Jeep and capered rapidly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sexy creature emerged. It was polka dotted-ish in color and looked like a cross between a ferret and a can of soup. It had four crimson eyes in its ego. "Legirooni prydygoogek oobumak, cajejyt ni teclyni, dootukyd vugroot," the creature said.
"Can you dig it?," Terri said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Monitor mushroom file aluminum foil piece of cheesecloth curtsey to jungle," the thing piped up.
"Maybe. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nygygina paperweight ghookilodec."
"Why don't you take your paperweight and shove it in your nose?" Terri retorted.
The creature looked vivacious. "Mupecoodoo sloonobinyd igamooj, moocoonam," it chortled. "Mitrezat!" it continued.
"Your face is a mitrezat!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, quiet creature; she was feeling unusually brash. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or plumber. If she had been carrying a spit wad, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Flynn will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounced slightly and cheered up. Then it rose up on its dusty legs, puffed out its beard and leapt thankfully toward her.
For the first time, Terri had the urge to run, but her stomach was twitching and her legs refused to move.
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