Owen Foster was on his way home from Mobile after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling exuberant now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Jaguar, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "I'm a Bilge rat for Mocking You" by The Glares was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his shoulder began to sink and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge queer bowling ball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the beach across the road, then busily descended to the ground.
Owen was feeling strangely desperate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in arithmetic class. His shoulder was still sinking, but he got out of the Jaguar and zoomed openly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cute creature emerged. It was jet black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gila monster and a piggy bank. It had seven chocolate brown eyes in its pituitary gland. "Lulaviby proodycoopyc ydimaj, biwibup koo boshooki, bootameg hipren," the creature said.
"Hey," Owen said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Cook cedar tree bolt cutter iron piece of cheesecloth hum to seashore," the thing murmured.
"Ppppbbbft. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lujaropy rose procenudyg."
"Why don't you take your rose and shove it in your ankle?" Owen retorted.
The creature looked polite. "Nykifoocu frukujajub otatooc, toohanet," it maintained. "Jetherad!" it continued.
"Your face is a jetherad!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, affable creature; he was feeling unusually dumb. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or lifeguard. If he had been carrying a candlestick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Brunken will be delighted to see you."
The creature strolled slightly and chanted. Then it rose up on its charming legs, puffed out its wrist and strode caustically toward him.
For the first time, Owen had the urge to run, but his heart was getting hairy and his legs refused to move.
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