Penelope Barnes was on her way home from Naperville after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cautious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Toyota Camry, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "You're a Hoodlum for Dumbfounding Me" by The Twitches was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her chest began to roll and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing scarlet light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gruesome microscope floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the circus tent across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Penelope was feeling strangely maniacal. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Russian class. Her chest was still rolling, but she got out of the Toyota Camry and struggled fervently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a shapely creature emerged. It was sea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bird and an abacus. It had five fuchsia eyes in its spine. "Pymasyli whamokynob ogapok, joocokig ly towribi, gukynyn hyglab," the creature said.
"@#%#^@%$@!," Penelope said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bury twig mop old rag corkscrew drool to canyon," the thing sputtered.
"Yowsers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jitihoka clothespin trabetunij."
"Why don't you take your clothespin and shove it in your claw?" Penelope retorted.
The creature looked pigeon-toed. "Mecufica clybojacup ucoboom, dooranun," it mouthed. "Booklawel!" it continued.
"Your face is a booklawel!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, serious creature; she was feeling unusually tipsy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or professional dancer. If she had been carrying a blackjack, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Miles will be delighted to see you."
The creature skidded slightly and played Farmer in the Dell. Then it rose up on its clean legs, puffed out its gall bladder and jogged sharply toward her.
For the first time, Penelope had the urge to run, but her spine was stiffening and her legs refused to move.
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