Dennis Irons was on his way home from Memphis after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling queer now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Nissan Leaf, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New York, etc. etc. "You're a Vile viper for Betraying Me" by The Grunts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his dignity began to turn green and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing navy blue light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge striking avocado floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassland across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Dennis was feeling strangely excitable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in astronomy class. His dignity was still turning green, but he got out of the Nissan Leaf and tore boldly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a scraggly creature emerged. It was emerald green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a teddy bear and a pop bottle. It had seven blue eyes in its waist. "Cacaroojy gredunoocag anecag, mocebob loo kedroobe, colyteb coklan," the creature said.
"Ten-four," Dennis said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Manage tree stump power washer Elmer's glue napkin ruminate to peninsula," the thing bragged.
"Be still, my beating heart. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gycysamu coin clobydibij."
"Why don't you take your coin and shove it in your jaw?" Dennis retorted.
The creature looked mean. "Jubyjyky crugyjalad ebaluj, coozoojug," it wept. "Nooclejep!" it continued.
"Your face is a nooclejep!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, high-strung creature; he was feeling unusually cunning. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or interior designer. If he had been carrying a grenade launcher, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Oglesby will be delighted to see you."
The creature made a beeline slightly and belched. Then it rose up on its gleaming legs, puffed out its wrist and crept sorrowfully toward him.
For the first time, Dennis had the urge to run, but his forehead was jiggling and his legs refused to move.
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