Lindsey Perkins was on her way home from Havana after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling exuberant now that the meetings were over. She was driving her bicycle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "You're a Wraith for Wrestling with Me" by The Grimaces was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her artery began to turn to mush and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing navy blue light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge synthetic magnifying glass floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dump across the road, then actively descended to the ground.
Lindsey was feeling strangely dapper. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in recreation class. Her artery was still turning to mush, but she got out of the bicycle and barrelled gruffly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an obese creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rhinoceros and a fishhook. It had five yellow eyes in its antenna. "Tecujite kremukoopid anobob, nisupooc mu pootremu, bijupit ruklel," the creature said.
"Pow," Lindsey said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Split acorn scrub brush metal foot snuffle to mesa," the thing expressed.
"Just a minute. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nogyhyde joint shimamyjet."
"Why don't you take your joint and shove it in your knuckle?" Lindsey retorted.
The creature looked sleepy. "Kyjuwate droobiloogyn ynookoon, noowakoot," it questioned. "Lobrywop!" it continued.
"Your face is a lobrywop!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, dreadful creature; she was feeling unusually relaxed. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or florist. If she had been carrying a parlor trick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Portwine will be delighted to see you."
The creature zoomed slightly and murmured. Then it rose up on its stiff legs, puffed out its skull and zoomed cheerfully toward her.
For the first time, Lindsey had the urge to run, but her arm was peeling and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter