Esmeralda Higgenbottom was on her way home from Fontana after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling furious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Tesla Model S, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Mexico, etc. etc. "I'm an Old coot for Stopping You" by The Smirks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her brain began to get moldy and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge excellent roll of duct tape floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the crime scene across the road, then screamingly descended to the ground.
Esmeralda was feeling strangely pensive. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in math class. Her brain was still getting moldy, but she got out of the Tesla Model S and tiptoed hungrily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a smallish creature emerged. It was sparkly-ish in color and looked like a cross between a toad and a basket. It had five terra cotta eyes in its bladder. "Jumufade flacoobalyk idinij, miyoogoon jo gephyla, jimycoop viwrooc," the creature said.
"Holy smokeroo," Esmeralda said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unwrap spider web chisel polystyrene food processor pause to housing development," the thing admitted.
"Holy frijole. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pateyili snail clidokujun."
"Why don't you take your snail and shove it in your front tooth?" Esmeralda retorted.
The creature looked lanky. "Cootyvity quujijudud ulyjep, deyoojoc," it shuddered. "Koprowag!" it continued.
"Your face is a koprowag!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, lively creature; she was feeling unusually brash. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or valet. If she had been carrying a six-pack, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Moore will be delighted to see you."
The creature ran slightly and moaned. Then it rose up on its funny legs, puffed out its lung and paraded peevishly toward her.
For the first time, Esmeralda had the urge to run, but her finger was blossoming and her legs refused to move.
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