Rex Lowry was on his way home from Gettysburg after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling suave now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Galaxy, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Louisiana, etc. etc. "I'm a Drunken royster for Biting You" by The Woofs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his spine began to get hairy and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing violet light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gooey paperclip floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dumpster across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Rex was feeling strangely cunning. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in tenor recorder class. His spine was still getting hairy, but he got out of the Ford Galaxy and sashayed gratefully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cute creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a German Shepherd and a hair dryer. It had six burgundy eyes in its dignity. "Jugirada quydalebaj itinac, behymyp pe lofloomy, mulacib vabryg," the creature said.
"Dag nabbit," Rex said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Exclude egg shell power washer fairy dust piece of cheesecloth shiver to butte," the thing noted.
"Dubious. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tamavapi diary klylytekaj."
"Why don't you take your diary and shove it in your back?" Rex retorted.
The creature looked dowdy. "Mybooyicy thunaloonic ejanum, tusudel," it belched. "Deghococ!" it continued.
"Your face is a deghococ!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, big creature; he was feeling unusually disagreeable. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or real estate investor. If he had been carrying a bazooka, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Norris will be delighted to see you."
The creature stormed slightly and adjusted. Then it rose up on its gleaming legs, puffed out its pituitary gland and tiptoed lickety-split toward him.
For the first time, Rex had the urge to run, but his ankle was spinning and his legs refused to move.
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