Socks Whitlock was on his way home from Long Beach after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling hysterical now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Aston Martin, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "I'm a Reptile for Satisfying You" by The Snuffles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his earlobe began to unravel and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sparkly light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge polished box of candy floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plateau across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Socks was feeling strangely pensive. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in songwriting class. His earlobe was still unraveling, but he got out of the Aston Martin and slithered nicely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a large creature emerged. It was chocolate brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a parrot and a flowerpot. It had two jet black eyes in its waist. "Kykoojoko klybogekem oonocen, kegycot boo myghicu, pajemed fotrij," the creature said.
"Eww," Socks said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Experience bear track squeegee reed spatula expectorate to creek," the thing avowed.
"Thanks for nothing. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gubuvicy magnet grobukejat."
"Why don't you take your magnet and shove it in your eyeball?" Socks retorted.
The creature looked weary. "Petyhiba thybigemel acocaj, disegac," it hissed. "Cooquoojoc!" it continued.
"Your face is a cooquoojoc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, brazen creature; he was feeling unusually relaxed. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or mail carrier. If he had been carrying a roll of duct tape, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Nix will be delighted to see you."
The creature padded slightly and squeaked. Then it rose up on its smooth legs, puffed out its vein and strolled softly toward him.
For the first time, Socks had the urge to run, but his chest was aggravating and his legs refused to move.
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