Gretchen Bishop was on her way home from Lancaster after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cheerful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Mercedes, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "I'm a Snake for Defeating You" by The Puckers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her kidney began to vex and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge peculiar china doll floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the glen across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
Gretchen was feeling strangely decisive. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in molecular biology class. Her kidney was still vexing, but she got out of the Mercedes and capered uneasily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tattooed creature emerged. It was hot pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a buzzard and a candy cane. It had five beige eyes in its big toe. "Bokejoli kralemipon ymegyk, jyhomood ba gyshuko, gebookeg gishoc," the creature said.
"Durn it," Gretchen said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Load fallen tree woodworker's clamp brass mixing spoon bark to pond," the thing exploded.
"Eureka. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pykyhoono paper clip chonoodukoom."
"Why don't you take your paper clip and shove it in your toupee?" Gretchen retorted.
The creature looked sketchy. "Noboojide phucoomupok odoobeg, barupib," it sniveled. "Miwhavon!" it continued.
"Your face is a miwhavon!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, excitable creature; she was feeling unusually sassy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or diplomat. If she had been carrying a Molotov cocktail, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Rajashree will be delighted to see you."
The creature zoomed slightly and waited. Then it rose up on its gross legs, puffed out its femur and skidded sympathetically toward her.
For the first time, Gretchen had the urge to run, but her thyroid gland was going to pieces and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter