Gino Dodds was on his way home from Hialeah after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his carriage, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Mississippi, etc. etc. "I'm a Bonehead for Shaving You" by The Beams was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his thigh began to get sweaty and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing carrot-orange light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ragged wastebasket floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the backyard across the road, then promptly descended to the ground.
Gino was feeling strangely disagreeable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in veterinary medicine class. His thigh was still getting sweaty, but he got out of the carriage and sailed innocently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a neat creature emerged. It was orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a koala and an oriental vase. It had six white eyes in its toupee. "Mabujooge klacynigyl ikoojaj, cyweboom da mythegi, nocajoog zatrot," the creature said.
"My gosh," Gino said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unbutton tree screwdriver gingerbread sharp knife cringe to oasis," the thing groveled.
"Blimey. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Timececu peanut frigubelot."
"Why don't you take your peanut and shove it in your tail?" Gino retorted.
The creature looked attractive. "Tykugimoo klootydapit amyget, koohutyp," it intimated. "Likluvoob!" it continued.
"Your face is a likluvoob!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, impish creature; he was feeling unusually funny. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or plumber. If he had been carrying a catheter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President O'Sullivan will be delighted to see you."
The creature scurried slightly and typed. Then it rose up on its smumpy legs, puffed out its abdomen and rolled hopelessly toward him.
For the first time, Gino had the urge to run, but his esophagus was closing down and his legs refused to move.
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