Cameron Morales was on his way home from Fullerton after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling dapper now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Buick Skylark, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Colorado, etc. etc. "I'm a Snake for Disparaging You" by The Blushes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his tail began to bunch up and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge tiny magazine floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dump across the road, then chop-chop descended to the ground.
Cameron was feeling strangely exuberant. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in dressage class. His tail was still bunching up, but he got out of the Buick Skylark and set out uneasily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an ugly creature emerged. It was jade-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tiger and a compass. It had four camouflage eyes in its belly button. "Nocisejoo phunujuleb ebatyl, nyyedaj by jyghide, nekoojad sochak," the creature said.
"Uh-huh," Cameron said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pat fern wire stripper wood knife preach to treetop," the thing simpered.
"Shucks. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kepavolo book kloogoomycem."
"Why don't you take your book and shove it in your little toe?" Cameron retorted.
The creature looked radiant. "Bipyroomo fledygelid oolecop, cigimoog," it swore. "Bethuyook!" it continued.
"Your face is a bethuyook!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, stubby creature; he was feeling unusually carefree. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or reporter. If he had been carrying a baseball bat, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Simmons will be delighted to see you."
The creature galumphed slightly and curtseyed. Then it rose up on its loose legs, puffed out its hand and made a beeline carefully toward him.
For the first time, Cameron had the urge to run, but his foot was opening up and his legs refused to move.
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