Bobbie Bergstrom was on her way home from Eugene after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling furious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her pickup, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "I'm an Old coot for Caring for You" by The Puckers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her back began to burn and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ornate crayon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hill across the road, then moderately descended to the ground.
Bobbie was feeling strangely decisive. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in interior design class. Her back was still burning, but she got out of the pickup and skidded elatedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a large creature emerged. It was striped-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mustang and an ice cream cone. It had six chartreuse eyes in its knuckle. "Dopoovejy krykudoodooj yjidek, cesajyj ky luthako, jebapyp jeglot," the creature said.
"Hush," Bobbie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Touch cedar tree scraper Kevlar blender swoon to ridge," the thing griped.
"Not on your life. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dimuyejy bag of groceries plodytibug."
"Why don't you take your bag of groceries and shove it in your hair?" Bobbie retorted.
The creature looked cowardly. "Jegoogooby glinoloonob icadup, googonam," it instructed. "Taplyged!" it continued.
"Your face is a taplyged!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, athletic creature; she was feeling unusually suave. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or stagehand. If she had been carrying an air rifle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Backus will be delighted to see you."
The creature went slightly and twitched. Then it rose up on its valuable legs, puffed out its fingernail and scampered angrily toward her.
For the first time, Bobbie had the urge to run, but her midriff was acting up and her legs refused to move.
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