Nils Giordano was on his way home from Dayton after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling ambitious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his dump truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Nincompoop for Castigating Me" by The Cringes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his stomach began to expand and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge torn pipe floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the country meadow across the road, then reluctantly descended to the ground.
Nils was feeling strangely amiable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in folklore class. His stomach was still expanding, but he got out of the dump truck and scooted again toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bearded creature emerged. It was ivory-ish in color and looked like a cross between a musk-ox and a computer. It had eight khaki eyes in its stomach. "Bapoocuba thigojacyn acugook, jujejan ge miphali, judydip hakraj," the creature said.
"Big deal," Nils said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shred twig laser beam Tyvek ice pick back up to steppe," the thing taunted.
"Diddly bunk. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jenasiki fishhook floomulootom."
"Why don't you take your fishhook and shove it in your nostril?" Nils retorted.
The creature looked fashionable. "Kookehano ghypiguped obijog, tucootet," it squeaked. "Nuwroojem!" it continued.
"Your face is a nuwroojem!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, friendly creature; he was feeling unusually self-confident. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or florist. If he had been carrying a witty reparteé, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Noon will be delighted to see you."
The creature set out slightly and rested. Then it rose up on its old legs, puffed out its heart and danced greedily toward him.
For the first time, Nils had the urge to run, but his vein was awakening and his legs refused to move.
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