Travis Sims was on his way home from Florence after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling desperate now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Galaxy, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kentucky, etc. etc. "You're a Doofus for Betraying Me" by The Winks was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his hip began to get hot and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge plastic Band-aid floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the treetop across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Travis was feeling strangely muddled. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in accounting class. His hip was still getting hot, but he got out of the Ford Galaxy and proceeded hopelessly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a suave creature emerged. It was purple-ish in color and looked like a cross between a weasel and a book. It had three peach eyes in its palm. "Coolyjolu clopykojok upanal, dogoolon bu cykrune, gybonak joghap," the creature said.
"Just a minute," Travis said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Rock bear track pair of pliers feather meat tenderizer raise an eyebrow to housing development," the thing emphasized.
"Oops. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tatofagy pencil thoopidyjym."
"Why don't you take your pencil and shove it in your mouth?" Travis retorted.
The creature looked wicked. "Nocyjagi plumypejel iladij, bygajoog," it breathed. "Leslifoom!" it continued.
"Your face is a leslifoom!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, quiet creature; he was feeling unusually peculiar. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or baseball player. If he had been carrying a lightsaber, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Best will be delighted to see you."
The creature slunk slightly and vegetated. Then it rose up on its hideous legs, puffed out its mouth and bounced grimly toward him.
For the first time, Travis had the urge to run, but his nose was dribbling and his legs refused to move.
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