Anastasia Payne was on her way home from Grand Prairie after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling proud now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Falcon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "I'm a Gossip for Praising You" by The Flinchs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her gall bladder began to lighten up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing navy blue light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge dry stuffed bunny floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the jungle across the road, then chop-chop descended to the ground.
Anastasia was feeling strangely cautious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in public relations class. Her gall bladder was still lightening up, but she got out of the Ford Falcon and jogged dubiously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tall creature emerged. It was tan-ish in color and looked like a cross between a camel and a hand puppet. It had six striped eyes in its forehead. "Jotewoona flookabyteg yjycoon, buzunyp tu daglule, nybicul soochyk," the creature said.
"Crud," Anastasia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Twist tree branch torque wrench diamond cheesecloth kneel to outback," the thing groaned.
"Buzzards. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tupiwupe piece of candy quetoomadoog."
"Why don't you take your piece of candy and shove it in your ego?" Anastasia retorted.
The creature looked sassy. "Cytivyko trelootacet ubabyd, decymul," it shrieked. "Nyflewil!" it continued.
"Your face is a nyflewil!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, obese creature; she was feeling unusually maniacal. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or philanthropist. If she had been carrying a defibrillator, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sanabria will be delighted to see you."
The creature traipsed slightly and blanked out. Then it rose up on its worn legs, puffed out its head and ran crossly toward her.
For the first time, Anastasia had the urge to run, but her piehole was growing hair and her legs refused to move.
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