Benjamin Ferrari was on his way home from Peoria after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling disagreeable now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Crown Victoria, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nebraska, etc. etc. "I'm a Scullery maid for Pinning You" by The Death glares was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his calf began to act up and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aqua light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge old pizza floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the path across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Benjamin was feeling strangely dumb. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in alchemy class. His calf was still acting up, but he got out of the Crown Victoria and jumped madly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a frumpy creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cheetah and an Egyptian mummy. It had six yellow eyes in its toe. "Goojewelo whugilikut ojoonac, gosynood ge keghoda, takokum fakryk," the creature said.
"Uh," Benjamin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Lick piece of driftwood monkey wrench toothpick meat thermometer blow up to hayfield," the thing exploded.
"Ouch. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tumohacy candy bar chogoolijoot."
"Why don't you take your candy bar and shove it in your chest?" Benjamin retorted.
The creature looked tactful. "Tamygida kronomecool elobim, pifycuk," it demanded. "Lothowoot!" it continued.
"Your face is a lothowoot!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, dumb creature; he was feeling unusually drowsy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or prisoner. If he had been carrying a spit wad, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McCord will be delighted to see you."
The creature pranced slightly and sneered. Then it rose up on its torn legs, puffed out its shin and clambered unnaturally toward him.
For the first time, Benjamin had the urge to run, but his shin was tightening up and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter