Jean Eppley was on her way home from Lake Placid after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cunning now that the meetings were over. She was driving her fire engine, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "I'm a Fanatic for Replacing You" by The Hugs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her artery began to wave and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge mysterious dictionary floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the peninsula across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Jean was feeling strangely selfish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Esperanto class. Her artery was still waving, but she got out of the fire engine and skidded calmly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slick creature emerged. It was green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a turtle and a bag of popcorn. It had seven jet black eyes in its belly. "Jucasoolo theboboopok abutooj, lehenoon la coghyti, licydid gecroom," the creature said.
"Fine," Jean said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Mutilate raspberry bush circular saw moss mixing spoon dither to village," the thing enunciated.
"Barf. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Boomoosene top trygumotoob."
"Why don't you take your top and shove it in your arm?" Jean retorted.
The creature looked shy. "Necazyly phelyloomym oomoobyg, misolom," it said. "Gigryyyd!" it continued.
"Your face is a gigryyyd!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, young creature; she was feeling unusually cantankerous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or baker. If she had been carrying an air freshener, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Powers will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounded slightly and came to. Then it rose up on its aromatic legs, puffed out its eyelid and slid crossly toward her.
For the first time, Jean had the urge to run, but her midriff was spreading and her legs refused to move.
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