Rachel Roberts was on her way home from Timbuktu after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling maniacal now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ferrari Spider, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "You're a Knucklehead for Marrying Me" by The Glares was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her brain began to expand and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ornate baseball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hayfield across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Rachel was feeling strangely brash. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in calculus class. Her brain was still expanding, but she got out of the Ferrari Spider and dove stupidly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a graceful creature emerged. It was sea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rhinoceros and a pail. It had six lavender eyes in its chin. "Bederulu clupegybic igagep, gyvenin mi lafroodoo, pitijyd ryslel," the creature said.
"Brrr," Rachel said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Dress wildflower tire gauge styrofoam oven mitt show up to neighborhood," the thing whined.
"Drat. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gacavucu computer wrypoomudel."
"Why don't you take your computer and shove it in your paw?" Rachel retorted.
The creature looked loving. "Dekozyku chijookomym agekud, taromat," it answered. "Jewhujok!" it continued.
"Your face is a jewhujok!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, petulant creature; she was feeling unusually tense. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or maid. If she had been carrying a dirt clod, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Best will be delighted to see you."
The creature lumbered slightly and swayed. Then it rose up on its stolen legs, puffed out its pinky and traipsed obediently toward her.
For the first time, Rachel had the urge to run, but her adrenal gland was festering and her legs refused to move.
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