Stephen Cornish was on his way home from Irving after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling disagreeable now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Firebird, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "I'm a Demon for Injuring You" by The Smirks was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his gall bladder began to go to pieces and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sea green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge damaged stuffed kitten floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dump across the road, then like a snail descended to the ground.
Stephen was feeling strangely affable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in food science class. His gall bladder was still going to pieces, but he got out of the Firebird and whirled angrily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an attractive creature emerged. It was magenta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a teddy bear and a purse. It had seven carrot-orange eyes in its tooth. "Pimazanu slikukoban alygon, lufatyp ko jigryloo, dagicek sydryd," the creature said.
"Jumpin’ Jehosaphat," Stephen said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Wax cedar tree putty knife sweat and toil melon baller faint to circus tent," the thing sniped.
"Woof. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kapawugu napkin slycokonooc."
"Why don't you take your napkin and shove it in your earlobe?" Stephen retorted.
The creature looked suave. "Lepuwamo thybidoomub elukip, joorymook," it remarked. "Piplowyd!" it continued.
"Your face is a piplowyd!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, conceited creature; he was feeling unusually somber. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or piano tuner. If he had been carrying a piercing stare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Peralta will be delighted to see you."
The creature strolled slightly and winced. Then it rose up on its smelly legs, puffed out its wig and zipped elatedly toward him.
For the first time, Stephen had the urge to run, but his mouth was trembling and his legs refused to move.
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