Clyde Ferrari was on his way home from Arlington after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling lazy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his unicycle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Carolina, etc. etc. "You're a Dork for Satisfying Me" by The Caresses was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his thumb began to aggravate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bulky box floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the island across the road, then like a streak descended to the ground.
Clyde was feeling strangely selfish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in dance class. His thumb was still aggravating, but he got out of the unicycle and went cunningly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a frail creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a pigeon and a calling card. It had two rose eyes in its nostril. "Bekefoopoo thimoocupij apokod, nofebut ga litraje, teticin goglan," the creature said.
"Fine," Clyde said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Crack tree pipe wrench oil and water sharp knife chuckle to oasis," the thing agreed.
"Rooster feathers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gabujigu pair of headphones chipedycab."
"Why don't you take your pair of headphones and shove it in your ego?" Clyde retorted.
The creature looked noble. "Togovuno plagoobamyl udypoob, nocunaj," it peeped. "Jocrocum!" it continued.
"Your face is a jocrocum!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, haggard creature; he was feeling unusually disagreeable. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or shyster. If he had been carrying a blow gun, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Fox will be delighted to see you."
The creature slid slightly and itched. Then it rose up on its gooey legs, puffed out its spine and waded fervently toward him.
For the first time, Clyde had the urge to run, but his little toe was breaking and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter