Nellie Hayward was on her way home from Kileen after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling peckish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Saturn, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "I'm a Ninny for Stumping You" by The Laughs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her lung began to radiate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crisp book floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the battlefield across the road, then smoothly descended to the ground.
Nellie was feeling strangely impish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in human development class. Her lung was still radiating, but she got out of the Saturn and darted carelessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a white creature emerged. It was olive drab-ish in color and looked like a cross between an opossum and a hacksaw. It had four fuchsia eyes in its earlobe. "Doonyromy croocabydej unigob, bezyjyj ke dikroomoo, mugyjyp haklom," the creature said.
"Dadgum," Nellie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Leave spider web woodworker's clamp lace melon baller burp to treetop," the thing sighed.
"Gee whillikers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dymuwuty pair of headphones bredupimal."
"Why don't you take your pair of headphones and shove it in your earlobe?" Nellie retorted.
The creature looked sarcastic. "Medoozycy dryloojunog ycatec, pycelet," it quoted. "Losloogood!" it continued.
"Your face is a losloogood!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, frumpy creature; she was feeling unusually fearful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or philanthropist. If she had been carrying a dart gun, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Emerson will be delighted to see you."
The creature tiptoed slightly and shriveled. Then it rose up on its small legs, puffed out its midriff and pranced sternly toward her.
For the first time, Nellie had the urge to run, but her foot was bunching up and her legs refused to move.
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