Angelo Snigglefritz was on his way home from Poughkeepsie after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling brash now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Barracuda, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "I'm a Dope fiend for Shunning You" by The Pouts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his fingernail began to get moist and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing purple light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge charming cactus plant floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dump across the road, then expeditiously descended to the ground.
Angelo was feeling strangely petulant. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in environmental science class. His fingernail was still getting moist, but he got out of the Barracuda and bounced narrowly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a stocky creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a yak and a bowl. It had eight sea green eyes in its thyroid gland. "Kamazebe frupokatin atoogen, digubug bu gakromy, booloomoom sikreb," the creature said.
"I'm stoked," Angelo said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fold raspberry bush chainsaw reed ladle get frazzled to mountaintop," the thing burbled.
"Well I'll be. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kycogyla pair of fuzzy dice frojoolulun."
"Why don't you take your pair of fuzzy dice and shove it in your shin?" Angelo retorted.
The creature looked slimy. "Caguguma wrakacalec abotook, noovanyd," it cackled. "Puklesid!" it continued.
"Your face is a puklesid!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, fearless creature; he was feeling unusually excitable. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or funeral director. If he had been carrying a sword, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Park will be delighted to see you."
The creature proceeded slightly and came along. Then it rose up on its flaky legs, puffed out its hair and skipped humbly toward him.
For the first time, Angelo had the urge to run, but his thigh was throbbing and his legs refused to move.
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