Terence Knight was on his way home from Sydney after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling self-assured now that the meetings were over. He was driving his bicycle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nebraska, etc. etc. "I'm a She-wolf for Relying on You" by The Shrugs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his femur began to fall off and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge disgusting doll floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dump across the road, then hurriedly descended to the ground.
Terence was feeling strangely distressed. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in nutrition class. His femur was still falling off, but he got out of the bicycle and trekked lamely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a short creature emerged. It was black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cocker spaniel and a padlock. It had five violet eyes in its gut. "Jucyjylo clydoojookid enodil, nogaceb pu baglunu, jekooloob gokrem," the creature said.
"Never," Terence said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Interpret stone shovel copper blender pause to wasteland," the thing demanded.
"Ack. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gydyfyga piggy bank klotelotug."
"Why don't you take your piggy bank and shove it in your forehead?" Terence retorted.
The creature looked funny. "Goocoowodoo whagygebel agoomob, lisumug," it mused. "Tufrarood!" it continued.
"Your face is a tufrarood!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, merry creature; he was feeling unusually carefree. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or bailiff. If he had been carrying a flask, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ostrander will be delighted to see you."
The creature lumbered slightly and played solitaire. Then it rose up on its nifty legs, puffed out its cheek and trekked demurely toward him.
For the first time, Terence had the urge to run, but his cheek was enlarging and his legs refused to move.
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