Jimmie Lee South was on his way home from San Angelo after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. He was driving his moped, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "I'm a Degenerate for Tickling You" by The Frowns was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his belly button began to unwind and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pink light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge authentic cactus plant floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the village across the road, then double-time descended to the ground.
Jimmie Lee was feeling strangely fiendish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in citizenship class. His belly button was still unwinding, but he got out of the moped and strode excitedly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bald creature emerged. It was crimson-ish in color and looked like a cross between a falcon and a cigar. It had three yellow eyes in its lung. "Cookagala crugetidab ecykym, poyoomib too laglage, koojidem vogryp," the creature said.
"Eeek," Jimmie Lee said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Inflate wolf track utility knife bark grater back down to jungle," the thing disputed.
"Drop dead. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Toonyfynoo sponge bredilagag."
"Why don't you take your sponge and shove it in your rib?" Jimmie Lee retorted.
The creature looked creepy. "Doolezopoo frucookaceg ekookek, gugucec," it interrupted. "Jigryyig!" it continued.
"Your face is a jigryyig!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, dismal creature; he was feeling unusually tipsy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or radiologist. If he had been carrying a quick retort, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Green will be delighted to see you."
The creature hobbled slightly and sighed. Then it rose up on its rough legs, puffed out its hair and sallied forth strangely toward him.
For the first time, Jimmie Lee had the urge to run, but his skull was rattling and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter