Kimberly Cosak was on her way home from Overland Park after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling daring now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Mazda RX-7, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kansas, etc. etc. "I'm a Nincompoop for Investigating You" by The Yawns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her spine began to blister and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge imported stuffed bunny floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the neighborhood across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Kimberly was feeling strangely funny. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in citizenship class. Her spine was still blistering, but she got out of the Mazda RX-7 and tumbled timidly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a shapely creature emerged. It was beige-ish in color and looked like a cross between a snake and a duffel bag. It had six lavender eyes in its toe. "Cygogyli whabomylin ejepac, jovacak ja jiphooboo, kadypoom fooshem," the creature said.
"Hallelujah," Kimberly said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Slap cedar tree broom stainless steel chopstick wobble to badlands area," the thing squealed.
"At last. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tookoovooni camera wridypucool."
"Why don't you take your camera and shove it in your collarbone?" Kimberly retorted.
The creature looked direct. "Mookajyjo triboboolyj ogacil, boosudook," it spouted. "Kucruzub!" it continued.
"Your face is a kucruzub!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, menacing creature; she was feeling unusually funny. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or hair stylist. If she had been carrying a lasso, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Morrison will be delighted to see you."
The creature lurched slightly and squealed. Then it rose up on its crude legs, puffed out its nose and clambered crankily toward her.
For the first time, Kimberly had the urge to run, but her gall bladder was hissing and her legs refused to move.
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