Isabella Snively was on her way home from Plano after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling puzzled now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Buick Riviera, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wyoming, etc. etc. "I'm a Degenerate for Questioning You" by The Guffaws was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her toenail began to rot and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge excellent microscope floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the battlefield across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
Isabella was feeling strangely affable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in neurobiology class. Her toenail was still rotting, but she got out of the Buick Riviera and lurched again toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a shapely creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between an oyster and a primrose. It had two terra cotta eyes in its big toe. "Kootoocynu klotenydap ytojum, dugopyj ta nooghela, jenanog heclyg," the creature said.
"Never mind," Isabella said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Push piece of driftwood heat gun taffeta ice pick calm down to housing development," the thing implored.
"Eh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Legyweno necklace cretyjykoob."
"Why don't you take your necklace and shove it in your femur?" Isabella retorted.
The creature looked suave. "Dakijeloo kropenicek ajelyn, towoocyn," it cackled. "Coothohooj!" it continued.
"Your face is a coothohooj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, freakish creature; she was feeling unusually timid. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or pianist. If she had been carrying a disarming smile, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bratt will be delighted to see you."
The creature went slightly and shriveled. Then it rose up on its dirty legs, puffed out its dignity and sauntered lamely toward her.
For the first time, Isabella had the urge to run, but her shoulder was pulsating and her legs refused to move.
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