Willie Munich was on his way home from Budapest after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling queer now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Infiniti, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "I'm a Monster for Forgetting You" by The Gasps was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his waist began to redden and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge curved cardboard box floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the range across the road, then busily descended to the ground.
Willie was feeling strangely carefree. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in hygiene class. His waist was still reddening, but he got out of the Infiniti and cantered properly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a large creature emerged. It was metallic red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a beetle and a firecracker. It had two maroon eyes in its vein. "Ketyhoja clupygecel ygobuc, tizoogood ja tishune, moodogyg fydroc," the creature said.
"Hang it," Willie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Taste rock nail clipper granite dull knife adjust the clock to ridge," the thing yelped.
"Peachy-keen. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gabooruko can of beans thecubykug."
"Why don't you take your can of beans and shove it in your rib?" Willie retorted.
The creature looked paranoid. "Tepooginoo shipinoogob ilidub, nucooken," it crooned. "Dyquizup!" it continued.
"Your face is a dyquizup!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, fascinating creature; he was feeling unusually fearless. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or real estate investor. If he had been carrying an angry glare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Glockman will be delighted to see you."
The creature flounced slightly and grimaced. Then it rose up on its gigantic legs, puffed out its ear and struggled strangely toward him.
For the first time, Willie had the urge to run, but his knuckle was getting waxy and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter