Hunter Rosen was on his way home from Pueblo after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling puzzled now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Volkswagen Passat, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Dunderhead for Marrying Me" by The Hiccups was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his Adam's apple began to explode and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing burgundy light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rancid bouquet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the valley across the road, then chop-chop descended to the ground.
Hunter was feeling strangely fiendish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in chemistry class. His Adam's apple was still exploding, but he got out of the Volkswagen Passat and bounded recklessly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a delicate creature emerged. It was orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a buffalo and a can of sardines. It had eight purple eyes in its mouth. "Ledurume clamymaped ikopek, googidun loo booglodu, momubib roklyb," the creature said.
"Ay chihuahua," Hunter said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Sharpen bear track match copper cheesecloth stand by to mountainside," the thing orated.
"Amen. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tigayukoo Kindle ghibudolug."
"Why don't you take your Kindle and shove it in your earlobe?" Hunter retorted.
The creature looked pensive. "Goodewake qualatujel anicoc, lesookak," it laughed. "Tafrafop!" it continued.
"Your face is a tafrafop!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, fierce creature; he was feeling unusually puzzled. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or priest. If he had been carrying an atomic weapon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President DeGraff will be delighted to see you."
The creature pranced slightly and waited. Then it rose up on its torn legs, puffed out its bicep and skidded effortlessly toward him.
For the first time, Hunter had the urge to run, but his tongue was writhing and his legs refused to move.
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