Daniel Xing was on his way home from Santa Clara after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling decisive now that the meetings were over. He was driving his little red wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "I'm a Nerd for Deceiving You" by The Dope slaps was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his artery began to get stiff and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing emerald green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge plain stack of papers floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassland across the road, then like crazy descended to the ground.
Daniel was feeling strangely funny. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in German class. His artery was still getting stiff, but he got out of the little red wagon and galloped nimbly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a muscular creature emerged. It was pea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Siamese cat and a grease gun. It had two white eyes in its arm. "Dudugega trymegigoob unatit, gesoobib lo nutracoo, jacylub gakroob," the creature said.
"There-there," Daniel said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shove mulberry tree fingernail file lithium melon baller freak out to hill," the thing expressed.
"Gawwwleeee. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gotyjeju fishhook wrunekoocook."
"Why don't you take your fishhook and shove it in your kidney?" Daniel retorted.
The creature looked bellicose. "Pukisooma shotonucil olijyj, byjotyk," it wailed. "Pabrazig!" it continued.
"Your face is a pabrazig!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, somber creature; he was feeling unusually ambitious. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or clerk. If he had been carrying a paddle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Backus will be delighted to see you."
The creature sailed slightly and sighed. Then it rose up on its hand-made legs, puffed out its head and sailed busily toward him.
For the first time, Daniel had the urge to run, but his buttocks was getting stiff and his legs refused to move.
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