Louie MacGibbon was on his way home from Scottsdale after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling amiable now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Chevy Impala, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Texas, etc. etc. "I'm a Dingbat for Stalking You" by The Crows was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his eyebrow began to enlarge and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fabulous magnifying glass floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pond across the road, then at a dawdle descended to the ground.
Louie was feeling strangely sassy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in recreation class. His eyebrow was still enlarging, but he got out of the Chevy Impala and scurried strictly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tiny creature emerged. It was aqua-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Dalmatian and a button. It had five golden eyes in its shoulder. "Dijoyoocy gremucoobub ipylug, boowytul ny typrocy, mytanyb hiklig," the creature said.
"Oh my word," Louie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Inspect rock feather duster cardboard blender exhale to seashore," the thing enunciated.
"Barf. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lalefito can of soup fludobacak."
"Why don't you take your can of soup and shove it in your liver?" Louie retorted.
The creature looked modest. "Lepofane kryjylimoob ocecaj, moyagum," it pronounced. "Toochicap!" it continued.
"Your face is a toochicap!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, phlegmatic creature; he was feeling unusually brash. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or insurance agent. If he had been carrying a pillow, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Roman will be delighted to see you."
The creature hobbled slightly and howled. Then it rose up on its hand-carved legs, puffed out its hip and waddled cunningly toward him.
For the first time, Louie had the urge to run, but his appendix was coming loose and his legs refused to move.
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