Pedro Sitting Bird was on his way home from El Paso after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling crafty now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Toyota Camry, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Slacker for Stinging Me" by The Air kisses was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his tummy began to stick and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge multicolored conga floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the briar patch across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Pedro was feeling strangely cheerful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in meteorology class. His tummy was still sticking, but he got out of the Toyota Camry and scooted frenetically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a roly-poly creature emerged. It was magenta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a polar bear and a bird bath. It had five chartreuse eyes in its esophagus. "Balucaju klypeledog olitoj, newikat bo kiklybu, jytamec vadryp," the creature said.
"Holy cats," Pedro said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Whirl maple tree blow torch cardboard wooden spoon cheer to range," the thing harangued.
"Yow. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Depuyanoo ingot of plutonium ghaboojecim."
"Why don't you take your ingot of plutonium and shove it in your collarbone?" Pedro retorted.
The creature looked insane. "Gujufaje grooboolypat enocec, lyfogal," it gasped. "Goocrewop!" it continued.
"Your face is a goocrewop!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, angry creature; he was feeling unusually calm. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or sign painter. If he had been carrying a dirk, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Warren will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounded slightly and looked puzzled. Then it rose up on its huge legs, puffed out its finger and walked innocently toward him.
For the first time, Pedro had the urge to run, but his stomach was crackling and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter