Marisa André was on her way home from Bangkok after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling generous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her delivery van, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "I'm a Dope fiend for Grilling You" by The Snickers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her bicep began to quiver and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing metallic red light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fluffy can of sardines floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the desert across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Marisa was feeling strangely carefree. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in agriculture class. Her bicep was still quivering, but she got out of the delivery van and leapt gracefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sleek creature emerged. It was beige-ish in color and looked like a cross between an iguana and a rubber stamp. It had eight yellow eyes in its pride. "Kytegoka whokotitooc olubyc, lujoodup pu coocroona, budojib cushad," the creature said.
"Ay chihuahua," Marisa said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pick bit of moss tire iron egg shell corkscrew wobble to valley," the thing ranted.
"Holy cats. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nujorapoo sack of potatoes prukajugyb."
"Why don't you take your sack of potatoes and shove it in your toenail?" Marisa retorted.
The creature looked creepy. "Tikacoone phujopolyk oolajod, mozogyd," it blubbered. "Negruyeg!" it continued.
"Your face is a negruyeg!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, bilious creature; she was feeling unusually self-confident. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or typist. If she had been carrying an accordion, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tucker will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounded slightly and spat. Then it rose up on its multicolored legs, puffed out its neck and inched menacingly toward her.
For the first time, Marisa had the urge to run, but her gut was glowing and her legs refused to move.
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