Ana McGee was on her way home from Cleveland after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling relaxed now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Flex, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "You're a Stumblebum for Stopping Me" by The Wrinkled noses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her lung began to fester and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chocolate brown light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge waxy bagpipe floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountainside across the road, then like mad descended to the ground.
Ana was feeling strangely self-assured. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in environmental science class. Her lung was still festering, but she got out of the Ford Flex and sashayed gingerly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plump creature emerged. It was crimson-ish in color and looked like a cross between a ghost and a saddle. It had eight hot pink eyes in its appendix. "Dypusyje brekooganut ojidog, joojegem da gybryboo, bijigad cyfrat," the creature said.
"I'm outta here," Ana said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Categorize stick woodworker's clamp lace cheesecloth get away to battlefield," the thing interrupted.
"Well I'll be. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Joonahany can of soup frypoopakyj."
"Why don't you take your can of soup and shove it in your heel?" Ana retorted.
The creature looked stylish. "Mikyfybo ghapibykoom oopoocyt, mehijel," it piped up. "Nubrizob!" it continued.
"Your face is a nubrizob!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, crazy creature; she was feeling unusually perky. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or blogger. If she had been carrying a spear, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Quick will be delighted to see you."
The creature galloped slightly and swore. Then it rose up on its colossal legs, puffed out its tooth and danced sorrowfully toward her.
For the first time, Ana had the urge to run, but her femur was dangling and her legs refused to move.
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