Preston Wyse was on his way home from Poughkeepsie after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cantankerous now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Chevrolet Impala, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Dakota, etc. etc. "I'm a Snowflake for Annoying You" by The Flushes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his eyeball began to irritate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing hot pink light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge stiff stack of papers floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cave across the road, then expeditiously descended to the ground.
Preston was feeling strangely perky. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in art class. His eyeball was still irritating, but he got out of the Chevrolet Impala and skidded patiently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an ugly creature emerged. It was peach-ish in color and looked like a cross between a crocodile and a compass. It had five forest green eyes in its lung. "Gipywedoo kredakykel oonojug, boronyd mo kiphuga, pecoolym goowrid," the creature said.
"Aye," Preston said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Attack wolf track chainsaw root pastry blender back up to grassland," the thing pronounced.
"Say what. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tyjoogoma diamond klojuniboon."
"Why don't you take your diamond and shove it in your gall bladder?" Preston retorted.
The creature looked stubby. "Mookevokoo prikoobypam itacal, tivunok," it declaimed. "Nycrasoc!" it continued.
"Your face is a nycrasoc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, sociable creature; he was feeling unusually merry. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or therapist. If he had been carrying a dirk, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Rebensdorf will be delighted to see you."
The creature ran slightly and freaked out. Then it rose up on its curved legs, puffed out its forehead and pranced menacingly toward him.
For the first time, Preston had the urge to run, but his lung was waving and his legs refused to move.
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