Debbie Berry was on her way home from Baltimore after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling suave now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Citroen, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New York, etc. etc. "I'm a She-wolf for Looking at You" by The Winks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her wig began to gurgle and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge smumpy pink flamingo floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the crime scene across the road, then leadenly descended to the ground.
Debbie was feeling strangely relaxed. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in carpentry class. Her wig was still gurgling, but she got out of the Citroen and slumped caustically toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spry creature emerged. It was salmon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cougar and a peace pipe. It had three olive drab eyes in its hair. "Ninyfoodo krapelatum oonotum, poocoogyc tu poofrole, dejibab yuklug," the creature said.
"Awesome," Debbie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Curl rock pair of pliers cement potato peeler back down to creek," the thing sobbed.
"Lord be praised. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Joomucipoo peach crugydodooc."
"Why don't you take your peach and shove it in your lip?" Debbie retorted.
The creature looked sloppy. "Poolucepi produjamyk ujutyn, joohykyl," it recited. "Muwroohut!" it continued.
"Your face is a muwroohut!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, portly creature; she was feeling unusually fearless. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or news reporter. If she had been carrying an accordion, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sales will be delighted to see you."
The creature blundered slightly and took a bath. Then it rose up on its valuable legs, puffed out its beard and tramped fiercely toward her.
For the first time, Debbie had the urge to run, but her finger was decaying and her legs refused to move.
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