Francene Koch was on her way home from Madison after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling self-confident now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Dodge Dart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New York, etc. etc. "I'm a Goof for Encouraging You" by The Snorts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her ear began to perk up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brown light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge smumpy can of shaving cream floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cave across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Francene was feeling strangely perky. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in cartography class. Her ear was still perking up, but she got out of the Dodge Dart and whirled brightly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slender creature emerged. It was olive drab-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dragon and an acorn. It had two purple eyes in its stomach. "Dubucujy prypibobot ogikog, tygagug ny ligroopo, jojabyg joogloom," the creature said.
"Who cares," Francene said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Heat piece of driftwood wire brush oil and water bare foot slobber to outback," the thing prattled.
"Bingo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gikegaja Band-aid flulyjapam."
"Why don't you take your Band-aid and shove it in your spleen?" Francene retorted.
The creature looked jaunty. "Kukysote klipimybook ilakod, moocukoj," it stated. "Cakloryk!" it continued.
"Your face is a cakloryk!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, carefree creature; she was feeling unusually confident. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or stagehand. If she had been carrying a flamethrower, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Weinstein will be delighted to see you."
The creature loped slightly and threw up. Then it rose up on its brittle legs, puffed out its spine and slid steadily toward her.
For the first time, Francene had the urge to run, but her thorax was dribbling and her legs refused to move.
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