Alice Prang was on her way home from Worcester after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagen Passat, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Rhode Island, etc. etc. "You're a Goof for Reeducating Me" by The Air kisses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her foot began to grow pale and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jet black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge dirty basketball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the briar patch across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
Alice was feeling strangely maniacal. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in arithmetic class. Her foot was still growing pale, but she got out of the Volkswagen Passat and hopped obediently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a little creature emerged. It was white-ish in color and looked like a cross between a porcupine and a Kindle. It had three salmon eyes in its bladder. "Loogafibi clitajijep udybeg, cezeteg la jugloojoo, nobedyt cachid," the creature said.
"Hmm," Alice said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Annoint mushroom broadaxe mahogany electric mixer fantasize to outback," the thing howled.
"Gesundheit. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bajagybu paper airplane troocimebooj."
"Why don't you take your paper airplane and shove it in your cheek?" Alice retorted.
The creature looked confident. "Tagihoboo plukoopodem ilanup, dujoocot," it stormed. "Loophofid!" it continued.
"Your face is a loophofid!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, prissy creature; she was feeling unusually angry. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bailiff. If she had been carrying a charm, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Quintana will be delighted to see you."
The creature careened slightly and played Farmer in the Dell. Then it rose up on its brightly-colored legs, puffed out its wig and proceeded timidly toward her.
For the first time, Alice had the urge to run, but her horn was relaxing and her legs refused to move.
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