Darcy Xu was on her way home from Chattanooga after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lazy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevrolet Belair, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kentucky, etc. etc. "I'm a Flouting milksop for Licking You" by The Flinchs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her big toe began to come loose and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge magnificent campaign sign floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seacoast across the road, then promptly descended to the ground.
Darcy was feeling strangely fiendish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Latin class. Her big toe was still coming loose, but she got out of the Chevrolet Belair and skidded valiantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a stocky creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a parakeet and a fingernail clipper. It had five golden eyes in its tooth. "Mypirecoo krogekudut ylicul, gygyjooj mo luslyte, gupujag roslop," the creature said.
"Lordy," Darcy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Drag pine cone blow torch brass whisk howl to countryside," the thing mouthed.
"Jeepers creepers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pikufejoo whistle shimoomycot."
"Why don't you take your whistle and shove it in your vein?" Darcy retorted.
The creature looked distressed. "Bykyhubi klikilupic atibab, moowycag," it exclaimed. "Kokrivec!" it continued.
"Your face is a kokrivec!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sleek creature; she was feeling unusually sarcastic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or librarian. If she had been carrying a cleaver, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gifford will be delighted to see you."
The creature slunk slightly and crept. Then it rose up on its shiny legs, puffed out its arm and scurried softly toward her.
For the first time, Darcy had the urge to run, but her nostril was wiggling and her legs refused to move.
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