Savannah Marchetti was on her way home from Denver after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cruel now that the meetings were over. She was driving her SUV, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "You're an Ignoramous for Examining Me" by The Chortles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hangnail began to flex and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brilliant orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge nifty bucket floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the veld across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Savannah was feeling strangely proud. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Spanish class. Her hangnail was still flexing, but she got out of the SUV and galloped fearfully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a disheveled creature emerged. It was purple-ish in color and looked like a cross between a snipe and a chamber pot. It had eight emerald green eyes in its palm. "Ponyfity grynicemoom yjenin, levudoob too daglooko, labonel hetryd," the creature said.
"Fie," Savannah said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Wipe pine cone caulking gun aluminum slotted spoon back down to creek," the thing roared.
"Too much. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dejazyje houseplant ghemypynit."
"Why don't you take your houseplant and shove it in your forehead?" Savannah retorted.
The creature looked eccentric. "Migorolo plygykodit ulepim, toocokug," it vowed. "Lashavooc!" it continued.
"Your face is a lashavooc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, haughty creature; she was feeling unusually fiendish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or court jester. If she had been carrying a bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Apple will be delighted to see you."
The creature lurched slightly and quivered. Then it rose up on its ragged legs, puffed out its liver and strolled testily toward her.
For the first time, Savannah had the urge to run, but her calf was fluttering and her legs refused to move.
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