Mac Barberry was on his way home from Henderson after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling drowsy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Chevy Volt, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Dakota, etc. etc. "I'm a Renegade for Mocking You" by The Power fists was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his eyelash began to aggravate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pink light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge damp sack of potatoes floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the steppe across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Mac was feeling strangely carefree. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in math class. His eyelash was still aggravating, but he got out of the Chevy Volt and ambled sarcastically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a petite creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a phantom and a flag. It had four amber eyes in its face. "Jijehyte whumoopytyd eninuj, kawyjel ce lushuge, dopykib suthon," the creature said.
"Phew," Mac said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Swipe egg shell nail clipper slime ladle flush to arroyo," the thing opined.
"My gosh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pykijuku dollar bill wralimoduc."
"Why don't you take your dollar bill and shove it in your dignity?" Mac retorted.
The creature looked bubbly. "Doonuhoti thabycogig icoopec, poovytoj," it explained. "Pibryyan!" it continued.
"Your face is a pibryyan!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, absent-minded creature; he was feeling unusually calm. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or tailor. If he had been carrying a billy club, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sitzman will be delighted to see you."
The creature flounced slightly and shriveled. Then it rose up on its plain legs, puffed out its eye and swaggered merrily toward him.
For the first time, Mac had the urge to run, but his pinky was flexing and his legs refused to move.
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