Theresa Bowe was on her way home from Singapore after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Lamborghini, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Carolina, etc. etc. "I'm a Creep for Double-crossing You" by The Belly laughs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her earlobe began to darken and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge big fire hose floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the field across the road, then sluggishly descended to the ground.
Theresa was feeling strangely awkward. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in mythology class. Her earlobe was still darkening, but she got out of the Lamborghini and loped peevishly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a smallish creature emerged. It was lime-green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a worm and a business card. It had three brilliant orange eyes in its appendix. "Netywolu brajolanyb atypip, cijelooj boo dowrubi, gybejal cyghom," the creature said.
"Behold," Theresa said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Polish dead fish scrub brush tissue paring knife cringe to desert," the thing blubbered.
"Yowee. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Budojekoo fishing rod quubotoonoop."
"Why don't you take your fishing rod and shove it in your gall bladder?" Theresa retorted.
The creature looked gargantuan. "Tanuveda phoodoonygel ymitej, gooridep," it divulged. "Poothoorood!" it continued.
"Your face is a poothoorood!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, irate creature; she was feeling unusually puzzled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or sales clerk. If she had been carrying an automatic rifle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Blevins will be delighted to see you."
The creature traipsed slightly and looked angry. Then it rose up on its crooked legs, puffed out its antenna and sped cheerfully toward her.
For the first time, Theresa had the urge to run, but her wrist was spreading and her legs refused to move.
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