Kjersten Castaneda was on her way home from Perth Amboy after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tense now that the meetings were over. She was driving her SUV, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kansas, etc. etc. "You're a Hag for Frustrating Me" by The Laughs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her spinal cord began to feel better and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing purple light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ruined bagpipe floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the outback across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Kjersten was feeling strangely drowsy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in mythology class. Her spinal cord was still feeling better, but she got out of the SUV and tramped speedily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an ugly creature emerged. It was silver-ish in color and looked like a cross between a weasel and a hand puppet. It had two forest green eyes in its waist. "Gegyzagoo slymookutut eceloot, boosytad ly bifreca, joobecub gabraj," the creature said.
"Huzzah," Kjersten said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bury piece of bark curling iron wicker cheesecloth ruminate to bog," the thing screamed.
"I'm sure. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cociconu fork slybokacil."
"Why don't you take your fork and shove it in your abdomen?" Kjersten retorted.
The creature looked comely. "Tojyraboo ghekookumub abilik, tayulal," it fantasized. "Cetrucab!" it continued.
"Your face is a cetrucab!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, maniacal creature; she was feeling unusually drowsy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or scam artist. If she had been carrying a lance, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Rinfield will be delighted to see you."
The creature made a beeline slightly and freaked out. Then it rose up on its ridged legs, puffed out its hair and loped blissfully toward her.
For the first time, Kjersten had the urge to run, but her toupee was thickening and her legs refused to move.
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