Bonnie Newman was on her way home from Abilene after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dapper now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Mustang, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "I'm a Pig for Rejecting You" by The Face palms was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her Adam's apple began to pop and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brilliant orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge decrepit African violet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountaintop across the road, then chop-chop descended to the ground.
Bonnie was feeling strangely suave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in folklore class. Her Adam's apple was still popping, but she got out of the Ford Mustang and strolled tensely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a disheveled creature emerged. It was brilliant orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gopher and a key. It had eight rose eyes in its pancreas. "Latijamo klimutycit icujec, pyjalic du tophipu, pyjojak judrit," the creature said.
"Of course," Bonnie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Squash sea shell chainsaw diamond potato masher hum to hillside," the thing purred.
"Peachy-keen. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kelacedy corsage krelytekuj."
"Why don't you take your corsage and shove it in your Adam's apple?" Bonnie retorted.
The creature looked disorganized. "Jukoohugo drepagotyb okypuj, jowetel," it added. "Kibroovyn!" it continued.
"Your face is a kibroovyn!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, difficult creature; she was feeling unusually pensive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or winemaker. If she had been carrying a howitzer, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Dirkson will be delighted to see you."
The creature slithered slightly and cringed. Then it rose up on its bulky legs, puffed out its thyroid gland and waded confidently toward her.
For the first time, Bonnie had the urge to run, but her adrenal gland was swelling and her legs refused to move.
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