Millicent Custer was on his way home from San Salvador after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling impish now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Nissan Sentra, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kansas, etc. etc. "I'm a Flouting milksop for Tripping You" by The Flushes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his stomach began to get moldy and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing beige light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge tiny dog collar floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountain across the road, then actively descended to the ground.
Millicent was feeling strangely perky. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in economics class. His stomach was still getting moldy, but he got out of the Nissan Sentra and went dreamily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a small creature emerged. It was black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a canary and a pack of gum. It had eight violet eyes in its eyebrow. "Lomefony klatecymuk ajiben, juhucak ma gyglaka, mikitun zoglam," the creature said.
"Pow," Millicent said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grapple badger hole jigsaw lead spoon ruminate to peninsula," the thing answered.
"Fie. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tooloocako pencil glelycudel."
"Why don't you take your pencil and shove it in your bladder?" Millicent retorted.
The creature looked fearless. "Nomuwibi krykitebook ububooc, poosidyg," it declaimed. "Pacloovooc!" it continued.
"Your face is a pacloovooc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, fuzzy creature; he was feeling unusually thoughtful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or violinist. If he had been carrying a billy club, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Barcelo will be delighted to see you."
The creature careened slightly and took a bath. Then it rose up on its ruined legs, puffed out its dignity and padded slyly toward him.
For the first time, Millicent had the urge to run, but his tongue was quaking and his legs refused to move.
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