Audrey Falcon was on her way home from Jersey City after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling generous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her MG convertible, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "You're a Numskull for Misleading Me" by The Gasps was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hip began to warp and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge delicate soccer ball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cliff across the road, then diligently descended to the ground.
Audrey was feeling strangely frantic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in psychology class. Her hip was still warping, but she got out of the MG convertible and bounced truculently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a brown-eyed creature emerged. It was amber-ish in color and looked like a cross between a polecat and a spider. It had four navy blue eyes in its pinky. "Dynyzijy chagoocelyc ocutyp, bigulun ce dooshupy, lucoomej sislyt," the creature said.
"Far out," Audrey said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Ridicule wildflower tire iron tempered glass spatula nod off to bog," the thing reasoned.
"Um. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tudacoogoo bat glypydujoon."
"Why don't you take your bat and shove it in your waist?" Audrey retorted.
The creature looked dumb. "Niloogipa tremomacad ekaloot, bosycag," it added. "Cekloosun!" it continued.
"Your face is a cekloosun!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, nonchalant creature; she was feeling unusually fiendish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bricklayer. If she had been carrying a shiv, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Vargas will be delighted to see you."
The creature traipsed slightly and flinched. Then it rose up on its authentic legs, puffed out its eyeball and sauntered threateningly toward her.
For the first time, Audrey had the urge to run, but her kidney was creaking and her legs refused to move.
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