Minnie Steele was on her way home from Hannover after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling timid now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Infiniti, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New York, etc. etc. "I'm a Hog for Winking at You" by The Blushes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her chest began to scale off and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing striped light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge used campaign sign floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cornfield across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Minnie was feeling strangely somber. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in astronomy class. Her chest was still scaling off, but she got out of the Infiniti and trotted needlessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gaunt creature emerged. It was emerald green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a puma and a pack of gum. It had seven green eyes in its palm. "Botuziki clipenenol ajokil, nerelit ca dislony, datukeg facroc," the creature said.
"Bingo," Minnie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Prohibit egg shell axe rubber dish cloth play solitaire to river," the thing inquired.
"Boom. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pibafygu box of candy granocegyj."
"Why don't you take your box of candy and shove it in your little toe?" Minnie retorted.
The creature looked brave. "Jetosaji wroodabecad ecamun, leracal," it shrieked. "Laghoogud!" it continued.
"Your face is a laghoogud!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, radiant creature; she was feeling unusually puzzled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or organic farmer. If she had been carrying an Uzi, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Diamond will be delighted to see you."
The creature barrelled slightly and exhaled. Then it rose up on its slimy legs, puffed out its knee and hopped timidly toward her.
For the first time, Minnie had the urge to run, but her wig was oozing and her legs refused to move.
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