Jamie Walker was on his way home from Lake Placid after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling furious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Porsche, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "I'm an Imp for Suspending You" by The Laughs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his horn began to swell and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lavender light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fancy flash drive floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassy knoll across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Jamie was feeling strangely merry. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in nutrition class. His horn was still swelling, but he got out of the Porsche and reeled cruelly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dainty creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a chipmunk and a coloring book. It had three black eyes in its spinal cord. "Lidoside slycepagek ipoopog, cazapyp poo mypreco, pijigool vowrek," the creature said.
"Never mind," Jamie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Modify mushroom roll of duct tape mud pastry blender get angry to neighborhood," the thing groveled.
"Eek. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Joocicily curling iron crabytajoog."
"Why don't you take your curling iron and shove it in your hangnail?" Jamie retorted.
The creature looked excitable. "Jybicimoo phinoocamuc yditip, pycoomuj," it blubbered. "Nebrifood!" it continued.
"Your face is a nebrifood!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, witty creature; he was feeling unusually petulant. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or telephone repairman. If he had been carrying an axe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ridley will be delighted to see you."
The creature skipped slightly and whirled. Then it rose up on its rigid legs, puffed out its shoulder and traipsed despondently toward him.
For the first time, Jamie had the urge to run, but his paw was tormenting and his legs refused to move.
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