Buck Oldfather was on his way home from Rapid City after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling impish now that the meetings were over. He was driving his buggy, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oregon, etc. etc. "You're a Ninnyhammer for Doubting Me" by The Furrowed brows was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his neck began to droop and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing teal light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge jagged pigeon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the arroyo across the road, then speedily descended to the ground.
Buck was feeling strangely selfish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in psychology class. His neck was still drooping, but he got out of the buggy and climbed woefully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a little creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a polar bear and a fishing pole. It had eight azure eyes in its liver. "Gobosoky trydidilot adekuc, mezopec no gudreji, nagoodac rufrud," the creature said.
"Blaak," Buck said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Strip poison ivy plant razor blade ceramic spoon adjust to gully," the thing drawled.
"Is that a fact. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Likyfeca playing card thocymukac."
"Why don't you take your playing card and shove it in your beard?" Buck retorted.
The creature looked corpulent. "Maceyico floodykakej ajylut, bejemid," it snorted. "Lukravip!" it continued.
"Your face is a lukravip!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, prissy creature; he was feeling unusually relaxed. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or missionary. If he had been carrying a hand grenade, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Nash will be delighted to see you."
The creature crawled slightly and collapsed. Then it rose up on its brightly-colored legs, puffed out its tooth and sailed thoughtfully toward him.
For the first time, Buck had the urge to run, but his big toe was hardening and his legs refused to move.
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