Izzy Ming was on her way home from Osaka after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sober now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Transit, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Indiana, etc. etc. "You're a Harebrain for Burying Me" by The Snuffles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her dignity began to loosen up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing terra cotta light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge grubby lollipop floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the arroyo across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Izzy was feeling strangely self-assured. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in environmental science class. Her dignity was still loosening up, but she got out of the Ford Transit and sallied forth queerly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a hairy creature emerged. It was amber-ish in color and looked like a cross between a boa constrictor and a basket. It had six tan eyes in its ego. "Bubusyni klapikybal oojicej, ciwolook too niprije, lilinat gedrub," the creature said.
"Yoohoo," Izzy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Maintain bear track glue gun plastic chopstick bark to village," the thing appealed.
"Yowsers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jemoohycy pipe whibygulan."
"Why don't you take your pipe and shove it in your wrist?" Izzy retorted.
The creature looked unselfish. "Tojojepi trugimybep ookutud, divudoop," it chattered. "Nuklazooj!" it continued.
"Your face is a nuklazooj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, self-assured creature; she was feeling unusually muddled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or umpire. If she had been carrying a dagger, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Niederhaus will be delighted to see you."
The creature trotted slightly and raised an eyebrow. Then it rose up on its jagged legs, puffed out its big toe and ambled briskly toward her.
For the first time, Izzy had the urge to run, but her palm was kinking and her legs refused to move.
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