Eduardo Yamaguchi was on his way home from Reno after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling brash now that the meetings were over. He was driving his carriage, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "I'm a Chowderhead for Disinfecting You" by The Titters was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his mouth began to contract and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gruesome coloring book floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the countryside across the road, then passively descended to the ground.
Eduardo was feeling strangely brash. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in mathematics class. His mouth was still contracting, but he got out of the carriage and strolled effortlessly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cadaverous creature emerged. It was indigo-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Doberman and a chart. It had two maroon eyes in its spleen. "Baduvena droobycoomoog ynetem, kezyjej ko nyglyco, papoloop guflooc," the creature said.
"Yikes," Eduardo said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Vacuum bird's nest scythe muslin egg cutter frown to dump," the thing vouched.
"Really. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tobyzoomo stuffed kitten whatynubyl."
"Why don't you take your stuffed kitten and shove it in your neck?" Eduardo retorted.
The creature looked charming. "Ninooguboo gloojidopood apicat, gusugil," it groveled. "Jiflyzyp!" it continued.
"Your face is a jiflyzyp!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, weird creature; he was feeling unusually dumb. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or rancher. If he had been carrying a pair of scissors, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Pavlov will be delighted to see you."
The creature pranced slightly and got rigid. Then it rose up on its greasy legs, puffed out its big toe and padded timidly toward him.
For the first time, Eduardo had the urge to run, but his kneecap was hissing and his legs refused to move.
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