Buddy Boodler was on his way home from Peoria after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling perky now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Fiesta, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "You're a Lout for Pushing Me" by The Shivers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his pancreas began to stick and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing striped light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge narrow biscuit floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the tundra across the road, then moderately descended to the ground.
Buddy was feeling strangely modest. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in meteorology class. His pancreas was still sticking, but he got out of the Ford Fiesta and ran gratefully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a neat creature emerged. It was aquamarine-ish in color and looked like a cross between an opossum and a notebook. It had five aquamarine eyes in its eye. "Gigosoodoo ghydulatit egoonub, jocugej de gootryni, gupacyj cyphen," the creature said.
"Fribblenootums," Buddy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pierce mushroom power washer beeswax ladle pucker to backyard," the thing conversed.
"Optimum. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kitoowitu teacup flocupugit."
"Why don't you take your teacup and shove it in your heart?" Buddy retorted.
The creature looked dumb. "Kikoogyka grokakookym ugoogoop, pirycid," it vowed. "Jekrujal!" it continued.
"Your face is a jekrujal!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, dependable creature; he was feeling unusually exuberant. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or appliance repairman. If he had been carrying a musket, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Griebel will be delighted to see you."
The creature trotted slightly and snored. Then it rose up on its loose legs, puffed out its bladder and cantered strictly toward him.
For the first time, Buddy had the urge to run, but his beard was swelling and his legs refused to move.
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