Valentina Jensen was on her way home from Baton Rouge after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling desperate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her shopping cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wyoming, etc. etc. "You're a Brute for Opposing Me" by The Winces was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her knee began to petrify and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crisp toilet seat floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the field across the road, then diligently descended to the ground.
Valentina was feeling strangely drowsy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in programming class. Her knee was still petrifying, but she got out of the shopping cart and galumphed victoriously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a ruddy creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between a basset hound and a cowbell. It had six fuchsia eyes in its hand. "Locegiji crikatejool atinab, kagoojeg ki tagheky, loojypij juplac," the creature said.
"Get outta here," Valentina said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Protect bear track whisk broom straw bare foot leer to mesa," the thing continued.
"Aarrggh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kybojegy teacup fregoocujom."
"Why don't you take your teacup and shove it in your skin?" Valentina retorted.
The creature looked fiendish. "Toomucypa flapomokyg utonul, gawolood," it realized. "Cidravaj!" it continued.
"Your face is a cidravaj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, furious creature; she was feeling unusually tired. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or escort. If she had been carrying a roll of duct tape, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Arthur will be delighted to see you."
The creature rolled slightly and calmed down. Then it rose up on its ornate legs, puffed out its toenail and trotted perkily toward her.
For the first time, Valentina had the urge to run, but her foot was disintegrating and her legs refused to move.
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