Lawrence Foreman was on his way home from Davenport after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling lazy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Mazda 6, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "I'm an Idjit for Killing You" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his tooth began to look funny and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing red light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge funny book floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the meadow across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Lawrence was feeling strangely modest. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in astronomy class. His tooth was still looking funny, but he got out of the Mazda 6 and sprinted automatically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a disheveled creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a peacock and a pair of scissors. It had eight maroon eyes in its paw. "Dipicimy brecogamuj ojynud, nycemij ta joocromo, tookyjap hewhec," the creature said.
"Great Scott," Lawrence said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Polish badger hole hand saw fiber pair of tongs rejoice to valley," the thing shuddered.
"Spiff. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mulyfoopi piece of candy crejydujyn."
"Why don't you take your piece of candy and shove it in your calf?" Lawrence retorted.
The creature looked petulant. "Polegogo glenokumog ekudyg, gifetek," it spoke up. "Bykrujoog!" it continued.
"Your face is a bykrujoog!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, thoughtful creature; he was feeling unusually drowsy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or doctor. If he had been carrying a golf club, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Pearson will be delighted to see you."
The creature scurried slightly and got angry. Then it rose up on its waxy legs, puffed out its buttocks and straggled grimly toward him.
For the first time, Lawrence had the urge to run, but his aorta was burning and his legs refused to move.
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