Natalie Pearson was on her way home from Tulsa after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling fiendish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Camaro, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nebraska, etc. etc. "You're a Shrew for Winking at Me" by The Blushes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her toenail began to sink and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing indigo light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge authentic doll floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the glen across the road, then screamingly descended to the ground.
Natalie was feeling strangely confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in evolutionary biology class. Her toenail was still sinking, but she got out of the Chevy Camaro and ran arrogantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a small creature emerged. It was peach-ish in color and looked like a cross between a manticore and a toolbox. It had seven red eyes in its spleen. "Nyderula cloonekekoc icoolood, nahipad ka guquyka, cecootit joodrak," the creature said.
"Uh-oh," Natalie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Re-evaluate badger hole cotton swab recycled newspaper spoon barf to plain," the thing recited.
"Gads. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dikucalu pepper grinder truculecam."
"Why don't you take your pepper grinder and shove it in your back?" Natalie retorted.
The creature looked tactful. "Nekoojube glimetacooc unajol, pijymyj," it preached. "Medrooyep!" it continued.
"Your face is a medrooyep!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, elderly creature; she was feeling unusually selfish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or car salesman. If she had been carrying a lance, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Baggins will be delighted to see you."
The creature scurried slightly and apologized. Then it rose up on its authentic legs, puffed out its pancreas and trotted sagely toward her.
For the first time, Natalie had the urge to run, but her hand was curving and her legs refused to move.
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