Cheng Bowe was on his way home from Frankfurt after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling muddled now that the meetings were over. He was driving his UPS truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New York, etc. etc. "You're a potato for Poisoning Me" by The Wags of the finger was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his adrenal gland began to spin and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chocolate brown light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge prickly Kindle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lakeside across the road, then briskly descended to the ground.
Cheng was feeling strangely queer. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in architecture class. His adrenal gland was still spinning, but he got out of the UPS truck and struggled coolly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pale creature emerged. It was yellow-ish in color and looked like a cross between a goblin and a blanket. It had three navy blue eyes in its palm. "Tookoojopi quenetegoom ocodyt, moocicib ju boocruti, coocekoog vewrej," the creature said.
"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to," Cheng said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fortify raspberry bush panic button manure chopstick get along to bog," the thing groveled.
"Barf. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jomeredy Egyptian mummy crypatotoj."
"Why don't you take your Egyptian mummy and shove it in your beard?" Cheng retorted.
The creature looked statuesque. "Jydowijoo quenylubem ipekil, bihogan," it yelped. "Mophacyp!" it continued.
"Your face is a mophacyp!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, muscular creature; he was feeling unusually sarcastic. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or physician. If he had been carrying an angry glare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Rice will be delighted to see you."
The creature ran slightly and woke up. Then it rose up on its overgrown legs, puffed out its cheek and breezed offhandedly toward him.
For the first time, Cheng had the urge to run, but his chin was falling off and his legs refused to move.
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