Edie Banks was on her way home from Prague after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling nervous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Mercury Cougar, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "I'm a Good-for-nothing for Drawing strength from You" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her stomach began to get cold and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brilliant orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gooey toolbox floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the neighborhood across the road, then like a snail descended to the ground.
Edie was feeling strangely pensive. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in psychology class. Her stomach was still getting cold, but she got out of the Mercury Cougar and lurched carelessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blond creature emerged. It was polka dotted-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rhinoceros and a pair of binoculars. It had two jet black eyes in its hip. "Doolagake fridudynoog ipookoom, jooyotub bi beprulu, gutemut foobrib," the creature said.
"Uh-oh," Edie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unfold cedar tree welding torch steel garlic press come to to ridge," the thing yawned.
"Boy oh boy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Koolurijy flower trynapulit."
"Why don't you take your flower and shove it in your antenna?" Edie retorted.
The creature looked talkative. "Dopoovypoo phiticookap ubibel, lacibooc," it sneered. "Dicreguk!" it continued.
"Your face is a dicreguk!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, affable creature; she was feeling unusually crafty. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or school principal. If she had been carrying an air freshener, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Phillips will be delighted to see you."
The creature paraded slightly and danced. Then it rose up on its ridiculous legs, puffed out its little toe and ran frenetically toward her.
For the first time, Edie had the urge to run, but her ankle was disintegrating and her legs refused to move.
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