Jared Cramer was on his way home from Newark after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling somber now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Fiesta, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "You're a Simpleton for Leaving Me" by The Squints was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his hairdo began to go to pieces and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge expensive clothespin floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the garden across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Jared was feeling strangely proud. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in nutrition class. His hairdo was still going to pieces, but he got out of the Ford Fiesta and struggled sagely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sexy creature emerged. It was blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mole and a floppy disk. It had six forest green eyes in its neck. "Mejayypu wridyjumad ecipog, jifakej lo jochooje, coobokom fesloj," the creature said.
"WTF," Jared said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Stack stone welding torch ivory blender belch to battlefield," the thing professed.
"I'm outta here. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lilyzoodo salt shaker thekoonipid."
"Why don't you take your salt shaker and shove it in your waist?" Jared retorted.
The creature looked brash. "Mukojeby chykypecug ootipan, tooyeled," it whined. "Cotriveb!" it continued.
"Your face is a cotriveb!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, solitary creature; he was feeling unusually cautious. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or massage therapist. If he had been carrying a set of nunchucks, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Pryor will be delighted to see you."
The creature sprinted slightly and cringed. Then it rose up on its large legs, puffed out its throat and climbed furiously toward him.
For the first time, Jared had the urge to run, but his wrist was aggravating and his legs refused to move.
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