Maggie Patterson was on her way home from Lakewood after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling self-confident now that the meetings were over. She was driving her little red wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kentucky, etc. etc. "You're an Old buzzard for Pleasing Me" by The Furrowed brows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her shoulder began to smell bad and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing tan light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge flaky magnet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the neighborhood across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Maggie was feeling strangely forgetful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in arithmetic class. Her shoulder was still smelling bad, but she got out of the little red wagon and swaggered surreptitiously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an unkempt creature emerged. It was jade-ish in color and looked like a cross between a ghost and a key ring. It had three terra cotta eyes in its artery. "Penazuja cloonajalik udujul, disekel je jepliti, coobemoom sooglij," the creature said.
"Duh," Maggie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Strengthen badger hole match gold brick fork faint to tundra," the thing provoked.
"Yowsers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jaduwyju comic book whoojumabal."
"Why don't you take your comic book and shove it in your eyelid?" Maggie retorted.
The creature looked poised. "Tececami whacomukan acyjom, corabaj," it disputed. "Goochogat!" it continued.
"Your face is a goochogat!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, stylish creature; she was feeling unusually sarcastic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or model. If she had been carrying an épée, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Beagle will be delighted to see you."
The creature sidled slightly and expectorated. Then it rose up on its ornate legs, puffed out its little finger and tiptoed shakily toward her.
For the first time, Maggie had the urge to run, but her earlobe was going crazy and her legs refused to move.
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