Jen Sokoloff was on her way home from Baltimore after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lethargic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford pickup, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "I'm a Blockhead for Getting to know You" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her horn began to turn around and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crooked dog biscuit floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the prairie across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
Jen was feeling strangely peckish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in programming class. Her horn was still turning around, but she got out of the Ford pickup and danced cunningly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tiny creature emerged. It was maroon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a badger and a bedpan. It had two aqua eyes in its hair. "Ticoogego quidumojym igunood, myhoomun ge daghooni, booputon wobron," the creature said.
"Bah," Jen said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Clean bit of litter socket wrench uranium dish cloth collapse to countryside," the thing professed.
"Great Caesar's ghost. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jootoohaku acorn grudalekad."
"Why don't you take your acorn and shove it in your knee?" Jen retorted.
The creature looked sophisticated. "Picozago klucoobupood ilicak, kuwejed," it demanded. "Doopruyob!" it continued.
"Your face is a doopruyob!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, muscular creature; she was feeling unusually exuberant. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or microbiologist. If she had been carrying a tennis racket, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Torres will be delighted to see you."
The creature waded slightly and came back. Then it rose up on its dusty legs, puffed out its little finger and struggled brightly toward her.
For the first time, Jen had the urge to run, but her spine was melting and her legs refused to move.
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