Magnolia Frizzlewump was on her way home from Des Moines after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling ambitious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Fiat, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Lunatic for Embarrassing Me" by The Smiles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her tooth began to disintegrate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge polka-dotted flash drive floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassland across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Magnolia was feeling strangely proud. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in botany class. Her tooth was still disintegrating, but she got out of the Fiat and sprinted proudly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a nervous creature emerged. It was maroon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a chicken and a plaque. It had seven sparkly eyes in its beard. "Jokoohume whejicedog idujoog, gazopic ji bewrege, pipynuj vibret," the creature said.
"Dag nabbit," Magnolia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Harden fish paintbrush cards foot grumble to arroyo," the thing grieved.
"Can you dig it?. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dooparuga bowling ball klubejymyb."
"Why don't you take your bowling ball and shove it in your femur?" Magnolia retorted.
The creature looked stubby. "Dubizenoo chykiculun adobog, boofylel," it asserted. "Nabroyag!" it continued.
"Your face is a nabroyag!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, suave creature; she was feeling unusually fiendish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or math teacher. If she had been carrying a silver bullet, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Snigglefritz will be delighted to see you."
The creature scampered slightly and muttered. Then it rose up on its used legs, puffed out its hip and sneaked fiercely toward her.
For the first time, Magnolia had the urge to run, but her buttocks was growing pale and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter