Victoria Osborne was on her way home from Auckland after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling woozy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her rocket, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Chump for Jumping on Me" by The Titters was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her Achilles tendon began to act weird and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gooey peanut floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the garden across the road, then at a dawdle descended to the ground.
Victoria was feeling strangely calm. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in songwriting class. Her Achilles tendon was still acting weird, but she got out of the rocket and strode cleverly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lean creature emerged. It was metallic red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hedgehog and a thumb drive. It had seven jet black eyes in its forehead. "Nelisumoo drejyjybin agymym, lozoodab ga tycrata, dobulij hooclij," the creature said.
"Really," Victoria said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Wrap flower socket wrench fiber pair of tongs flail to treetop," the thing repeated.
"Hot dog. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lymegekoo bilge pump ghalekykob."
"Why don't you take your bilge pump and shove it in your adrenal gland?" Victoria retorted.
The creature looked maniacal. "Pyjujile shujoodamyp ukamaj, nirunyl," it reasoned. "Jughivym!" it continued.
"Your face is a jughivym!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, vacuous creature; she was feeling unusually brave. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or ecologist. If she had been carrying a disinfectant, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Schaffer will be delighted to see you."
The creature pranced slightly and burped. Then it rose up on its flexible legs, puffed out its little finger and padded noisily toward her.
For the first time, Victoria had the urge to run, but her pride was peeling and her legs refused to move.
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