Nan Dorn was on her way home from Providence after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling amiable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Toyota Prius, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of California, etc. etc. "I'm a Dirty rat for Outwitting You" by The Blushes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her spleen began to rise and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing periwinkle light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge smumpy whistle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the butte across the road, then moderately descended to the ground.
Nan was feeling strangely amiable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in geology class. Her spleen was still rising, but she got out of the Toyota Prius and bounced excitedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a stocky creature emerged. It was aqua-ish in color and looked like a cross between an otter and a pipe. It had four peach eyes in its spleen. "Jomysupa clipymoopuc akumoon, ducedud jo lequuny, dadekon vebrab," the creature said.
"Very funny," Nan said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Refurbish fish nail gun Bakelite ladle preach to tundra," the thing squawked.
"That's crazy talk. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cygizoolu spinning wheel whutinutup."
"Why don't you take your spinning wheel and shove it in your leg?" Nan retorted.
The creature looked charming. "Puliyoopi whokunekut ynoocug, jisigoob," it joked. "Baphozib!" it continued.
"Your face is a baphozib!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, repulsive creature; she was feeling unusually stubborn. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or invalid. If she had been carrying a dirt clod, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Panzer will be delighted to see you."
The creature slithered slightly and barked. Then it rose up on its miniature legs, puffed out its vein and flew calmly toward her.
For the first time, Nan had the urge to run, but her claw was exploding and her legs refused to move.
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