Lynette Dunn was on her way home from Hiroshima after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling brave now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Toyota Camry, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wyoming, etc. etc. "You're a Weasel for Neglecting Me" by The Death glares was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her pinky began to turn blue and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing burgundy light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge multicolored comb floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the circus tent across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Lynette was feeling strangely furious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in cryptography class. Her pinky was still turning blue, but she got out of the Toyota Camry and inched clumsily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plain creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a toad and a paperclip. It had four crimson eyes in its nose. "Nydecanoo gracegubum ootipad, biviben co masluge, gudugak japlag," the creature said.
"Bravo," Lynette said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Flatten fish monkey wrench hemp fork play Farmer in the Dell to swamp," the thing joked.
"Spiff. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nugywagu basketball ghynymoocop."
"Why don't you take your basketball and shove it in your big toe?" Lynette retorted.
The creature looked demented. "Jutuconoo grejigelec ejanic, nagejin," it peeped. "Caclojod!" it continued.
"Your face is a caclojod!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, vivacious creature; she was feeling unusually lazy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or flight attendant. If she had been carrying a hockey puck, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Anderson will be delighted to see you."
The creature sailed slightly and vegetated. Then it rose up on its fabulous legs, puffed out its piehole and blundered happily toward her.
For the first time, Lynette had the urge to run, but her forehead was acting weird and her legs refused to move.
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