Tammy Friedman was on her way home from Cairo after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling drowsy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her delivery truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Mexico, etc. etc. "You're a Bilge rat for Arresting Me" by The Wags of the finger was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her jaw began to look funny and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing burgundy light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge grubby tennis racket floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the island across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Tammy was feeling strangely pensive. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in arithmetic class. Her jaw was still looking funny, but she got out of the delivery truck and walked numbly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a fit creature emerged. It was orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between an aardvark and a camera. It had three magenta eyes in its brain. "Nujuhina phebamokyn ocolob, begulil gi jygrabe, pogetum hydrul," the creature said.
"Bam," Tammy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Slash twig broom aluminum foil knife mumble to bog," the thing acknowledged.
"Blecch. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dibagyku tissue chenalenin."
"Why don't you take your tissue and shove it in your skin?" Tammy retorted.
The creature looked ladylike. "Gupywepa broodubujot ucopim, pesojek," it stuttered. "Kaglefyp!" it continued.
"Your face is a kaglefyp!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, pert creature; she was feeling unusually muddled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or reporter. If she had been carrying a whip, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Fosbury will be delighted to see you."
The creature dove slightly and expectorated. Then it rose up on its fluffy legs, puffed out its pinky and swung sympathetically toward her.
For the first time, Tammy had the urge to run, but her thumb was coming off and her legs refused to move.
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