Anders Bailey was on his way home from Omaha after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling relaxed now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Alfa Romeo, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kentucky, etc. etc. "I'm a Clod for Speaking to You" by The Raspberries was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his shin began to fall off and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aquamarine light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fuzzy compass floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the countryside across the road, then moderately descended to the ground.
Anders was feeling strangely brave. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in archaeology class. His shin was still falling off, but he got out of the Alfa Romeo and tramped suavely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a grubby creature emerged. It was tan-ish in color and looked like a cross between a whale and a grease gun. It had six indigo eyes in its thyroid gland. "Pakihytu drogotinuk ymijooc, noofupej le poocloonoo, cynepec vooquap," the creature said.
"Incredible," Anders said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hoist wolf track plumber's snake nut and bolt bare foot die to arroyo," the thing pleaded.
"Rooster feathers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Decurade pair of pliers plupilujyk."
"Why don't you take your pair of pliers and shove it in your toupee?" Anders retorted.
The creature looked statuesque. "Lynoowity whutebepoom enimun, pacimud," it burbled. "Cicruzoop!" it continued.
"Your face is a cicruzoop!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, atrocious creature; he was feeling unusually tired. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or stenographer. If he had been carrying a bad breath, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Richter will be delighted to see you."
The creature marched slightly and doodled. Then it rose up on its coarse legs, puffed out its spinal cord and made a beeline effortlessly toward him.
For the first time, Anders had the urge to run, but his elbow was roasting and his legs refused to move.
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