Fido Nolan was on his way home from Helsinki after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling sober now that the meetings were over. He was driving his limousine, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Tennessee, etc. etc. "I'm a Clapperdudgeon for Baffling You" by The Cheers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his horn began to turn black and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing violet light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge polka-dotted flowerpot floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the badlands area across the road, then like a streak descended to the ground.
Fido was feeling strangely woozy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in bricklaying class. His horn was still turning black, but he got out of the limousine and walked frantically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a scraggly creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a jellyfish and a Band-aid. It had seven green eyes in its femur. "Galojanu fropolajot atootoob, tyfylog poo pawryjy, jiladab ruglan," the creature said.
"Bless my britches," Fido said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shrink spring hair dryer pewter cheesecloth tremble to buffalo wallow," the thing cackled.
"Rubbish. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dodozibo crystal ball creloonijem."
"Why don't you take your crystal ball and shove it in your front tooth?" Fido retorted.
The creature looked gentle. "Dilayucu progotykad ujodoc, mavoomoog," it pointed out. "Mogrogan!" it continued.
"Your face is a mogrogan!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, pensive creature; he was feeling unusually frantic. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or percussionist. If he had been carrying a harpoon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Lowry will be delighted to see you."
The creature climbed slightly and played solitaire. Then it rose up on its ruined legs, puffed out its nostril and ran warily toward him.
For the first time, Fido had the urge to run, but his Achilles tendon was coming undone and his legs refused to move.
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