Eddie McCord was on his way home from Bangalore after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling sarcastic now that the meetings were over. He was driving his garbage truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Tennessee, etc. etc. "You're a Brazen hussy for Making a face at Me" by The Caresses was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his tail began to blister and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing hot pink light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge leather picture floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountain across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Eddie was feeling strangely sassy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in penmanship class. His tail was still blistering, but he got out of the garbage truck and crept courageously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a smallish creature emerged. It was periwinkle-ish in color and looked like a cross between a leopard and a pillow. It had five khaki eyes in its back. "Lajofipi grujanyceg oogujyp, dosedooj pa cifrujo, nelikood cosheb," the creature said.
"Like fun," Eddie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hurl maple tree putty knife gold brick spatula beg to desert," the thing responded.
"Thunderation. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gagooyiku box of candy whelubynat."
"Why don't you take your box of candy and shove it in your beard?" Eddie retorted.
The creature looked fiendish. "Gacawygu prubujonyn oojelol, lugukip," it offered. "Loquoogod!" it continued.
"Your face is a loquoogod!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, stinky creature; he was feeling unusually fearful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or rabble rouser. If he had been carrying a Nerf bat, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hicks will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounced slightly and barked. Then it rose up on its striking legs, puffed out its front tooth and skipped strangely toward him.
For the first time, Eddie had the urge to run, but his belly button was twirling and his legs refused to move.
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