Fiona Sheridan was on her way home from Bismarck after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cantankerous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Bronco, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "You're a Stinker for Apologizing to Me" by The Shouts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her cheek began to feel numb and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing violet light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge nice curling iron floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the rainforest across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Fiona was feeling strangely stubborn. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in acupuncture class. Her cheek was still feeling numb, but she got out of the Ford Bronco and trekked proudly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an albino creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between an aardvark and a sea shell. It had seven metallic red eyes in its skull. "Bytuwooloo whidomajod atanooj, noosypyt da cukregy, jabalug juclyb," the creature said.
"Crackers," Fiona said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Remember acorn scraper fiber electric mixer look angry to forest," the thing argued.
"Like, totally. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nypezyte toilet plunger ghaminapeg."
"Why don't you take your toilet plunger and shove it in your skull?" Fiona retorted.
The creature looked brassy. "Poopurakoo tracybapub ubemab, bovomoc," it explained. "Paflavat!" it continued.
"Your face is a paflavat!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, nonchalant creature; she was feeling unusually fiendish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bank teller. If she had been carrying a lariat, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Mittal will be delighted to see you."
The creature flounced slightly and laughed. Then it rose up on its shiny legs, puffed out its fingernail and reeled valiantly toward her.
For the first time, Fiona had the urge to run, but her face was growing pale and her legs refused to move.
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