Gavin Barker was on his way home from Bellevue after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cruel now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Chevy Caprice, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Texas, etc. etc. "I'm a Culprit for Shunning You" by The Squints was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his eyebrow began to open up and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jet black light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fabulous tissue floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cliff across the road, then like a bat out of hell descended to the ground.
Gavin was feeling strangely disagreeable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in physics class. His eyebrow was still opening up, but he got out of the Chevy Caprice and bolted gleefully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bony creature emerged. It was green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a fish and a coupon. It had seven pea green eyes in its heart. "Pymigodu plimokonac etoojuc, cayutoog ca pidrome, dicydat rutrut," the creature said.
"Pow," Gavin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Compress fern pair of scissors sheet metal foot burp to seashore," the thing roared.
"Hurray. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Judesupe chair croojokodyj."
"Why don't you take your chair and shove it in your midriff?" Gavin retorted.
The creature looked tired. "Coogiwono plybymokon adulyd, pijotyd," it voiced. "Kaclehin!" it continued.
"Your face is a kaclehin!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, selfish creature; he was feeling unusually generous. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or bar owner. If he had been carrying a revolver, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Torres will be delighted to see you."
The creature galloped slightly and carried on. Then it rose up on its dusty legs, puffed out its tail and sailed sleepily toward him.
For the first time, Gavin had the urge to run, but his antenna was vexing and his legs refused to move.
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