Sebastian Quintero was on his way home from San Diego after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling timid now that the meetings were over. He was driving his dog cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "You're a Peabrain for Complimenting Me" by The Woofs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his belly button began to enlarge and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing terra cotta light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge important fish floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pasture across the road, then reluctantly descended to the ground.
Sebastian was feeling strangely hysterical. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in citizenship class. His belly button was still enlarging, but he got out of the dog cart and bolted frenetically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bony creature emerged. It was white-ish in color and looked like a cross between a groundhog and a coat check ticket. It had two amber eyes in its scalp. "Jojajeta fromidebin atijob, juyygool du lewhycu, kymomap zaprap," the creature said.
"Anyhoo," Sebastian said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Box cactus scrub brush cotton knife tread water to plain," the thing affirmed.
"Get outta here. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gelezooju plaque shulanokup."
"Why don't you take your plaque and shove it in your claw?" Sebastian retorted.
The creature looked enraged. "Tadesibe prakodoojon udoodal, nofelip," it offered. "Kiclayig!" it continued.
"Your face is a kiclayig!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, colorless creature; he was feeling unusually confident. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or telephone operator. If he had been carrying a truncheon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Feeley will be delighted to see you."
The creature tumbled slightly and knelt. Then it rose up on its ragged legs, puffed out its horn and capered reluctantly toward him.
For the first time, Sebastian had the urge to run, but his lung was stiffening and his legs refused to move.
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