Darlene Noonan was on her way home from Buffalo after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling frantic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Crown Victoria, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "I'm a Hellhound for Leaving You" by The Winces was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her knuckle began to vex and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge abnormal fishing pole floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cesspool across the road, then leadenly descended to the ground.
Darlene was feeling strangely disagreeable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in ciphering class. Her knuckle was still vexing, but she got out of the Crown Victoria and leapt impatiently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dashing creature emerged. It was white-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gopher and an iPhone. It had four olive drab eyes in its ego. "Nibyzege clolelyjeb obanet, joocajag ba diphyju, nutakoon ziglim," the creature said.
"Yeehah," Darlene said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Trim badger hole bolt cutter tempered glass fork scream to ridge," the thing stuttered.
"You're kidding. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Goonuwugu pain pill pledokitoj."
"Why don't you take your pain pill and shove it in your ear?" Darlene retorted.
The creature looked brash. "Titurilo plicobigig ynoojoon, nusabyg," it interpreted. "Mochicooj!" it continued.
"Your face is a mochicooj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, cute creature; she was feeling unusually desperate. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or clockmaker. If she had been carrying a can of shaving cream, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tang will be delighted to see you."
The creature crawled slightly and cleared out. Then it rose up on its imitation legs, puffed out its dignity and sped sheepishly toward her.
For the first time, Darlene had the urge to run, but her knee was falling off and her legs refused to move.
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