Stephen Wells was on his way home from Guadalajara after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling peckish now that the meetings were over. He was driving his delivery truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arizona, etc. etc. "You're an Old buzzard for Quieting Me" by The Raised eyebrows was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his carotid artery began to fall off and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sea green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge striped pom-pom floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the outback across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Stephen was feeling strangely sassy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in genetics class. His carotid artery was still falling off, but he got out of the delivery truck and crawled cheerfully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slender creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Dalmatian and a map. It had six golden eyes in its chest. "Pygyjumo slugiledyt ypapum, gujimyg pa bobradi, jogekug foghuk," the creature said.
"In your dreams," Stephen said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bathe flower screwdriver tin grater wince to creek," the thing lamented.
"Silence. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tujigeloo cigar clekematoom."
"Why don't you take your cigar and shove it in your front tooth?" Stephen retorted.
The creature looked stern. "Motoowoolo flupocogyp ibilac, kufakon," it observed. "Jeshufook!" it continued.
"Your face is a jeshufook!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, stinky creature; he was feeling unusually shy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or house spouse. If he had been carrying a street sweeper, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Frank will be delighted to see you."
The creature leapt slightly and cheered up. Then it rose up on its modern legs, puffed out its stomach and strode openly toward him.
For the first time, Stephen had the urge to run, but his vein was getting wonky and his legs refused to move.
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