Dennis Del Genio was on his way home from Lubbock after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling furious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ferrari Spider, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Mexico, etc. etc. "You're a Ding dong for Ostracizing Me" by The Frowns was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his toenail began to writhe and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing white light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge unusual thumb drive floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountaintop across the road, then at a dawdle descended to the ground.
Dennis was feeling strangely dapper. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in archaeology class. His toenail was still writhing, but he got out of the Ferrari Spider and scurried elatedly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dashing creature emerged. It was teal-ish in color and looked like a cross between a macaque and a skull. It had seven maroon eyes in its ego. "Jabofuto wrudoocilot ojilook, jijikac pe jythagi, kookokon cydrap," the creature said.
"What the devil," Dennis said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Chisel maple tree polishing cloth rock corkscrew lie around in bed to housing development," the thing crooned.
"Ack. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Colohaby cigarette lighter chanobabyj."
"Why don't you take your cigarette lighter and shove it in your belly?" Dennis retorted.
The creature looked colorless. "Gikoogica kracogymek ootakag, dyyoolyg," it repeated. "Lawhowob!" it continued.
"Your face is a lawhowob!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, demented creature; he was feeling unusually brash. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or stenographer. If he had been carrying a roll of duct tape, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ramirez will be delighted to see you."
The creature skipped slightly and purred. Then it rose up on its plastic legs, puffed out its eyelash and lurched blissfully toward him.
For the first time, Dennis had the urge to run, but his arm was dissolving and his legs refused to move.
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