Mindy Ibrahim was on her way home from Denton after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling daring now that the meetings were over. She was driving her wheelbarrow, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Vermont, etc. etc. "You're a Floozy for Dreaming about Me" by The Woofs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her belly began to get wonky and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge unusual air compressor floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the savanna across the road, then hastily descended to the ground.
Mindy was feeling strangely dumb. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in German class. Her belly was still getting wonky, but she got out of the wheelbarrow and scampered slowly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an angelic creature emerged. It was fuchsia-ish in color and looked like a cross between an alligator and a fingernail clipper. It had seven terra cotta eyes in its little toe. "Tykijoko frytytupip unibet, joozegoon me meghade, jokunem viphoc," the creature said.
"Eeshk," Mindy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Label rock crowbar Portland cement corkscrew blink to prairie," the thing sniffed.
"Yay. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nalizoobu Bible cloodanagag."
"Why don't you take your Bible and shove it in your Adam's apple?" Mindy retorted.
The creature looked serious. "Cymosida whoocyjicuj oolookud, dahycag," it shuddered. "Lafrigool!" it continued.
"Your face is a lafrigool!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, heavyset creature; she was feeling unusually disagreeable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or programmer. If she had been carrying a lead pipe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Eaton will be delighted to see you."
The creature blundered slightly and applauded. Then it rose up on its wooden legs, puffed out its back and galumphed unexpectedly toward her.
For the first time, Mindy had the urge to run, but her intestine was freezing and her legs refused to move.
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