Reba Allison was on her way home from Saskatoon after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling puzzled now that the meetings were over. She was driving her limousine, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Ohio, etc. etc. "You're a Dweeb for Talking to Me" by The Wags of the finger was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her dignity began to relax and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gigantic clam floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plateau across the road, then like a snail descended to the ground.
Reba was feeling strangely self-confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in journalism class. Her dignity was still relaxing, but she got out of the limousine and waddled ignobly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gaunt creature emerged. It was brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a prairie dog and a rose. It had five forest green eyes in its back. "Tecaciga kradonipen imalum, lugobyd ma meklooby, jinoonak ceglag," the creature said.
"Poppycock," Reba said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hurl flower cotton swab sea shell food processor come to to peninsula," the thing laughed.
"Hold that thought. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kulajapa toilet seat gloomybukyk."
"Why don't you take your toilet seat and shove it in your cheek?" Reba retorted.
The creature looked attractive. "Cilyricy pryjubopyp uloteb, bazutep," it rambled. "Kebryrek!" it continued.
"Your face is a kebryrek!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, paranoid creature; she was feeling unusually merry. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or painter. If she had been carrying a musket, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Marchetti will be delighted to see you."
The creature straggled slightly and squinted. Then it rose up on its hollow legs, puffed out its skull and tiptoed dreamily toward her.
For the first time, Reba had the urge to run, but her hangnail was coming off and her legs refused to move.
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