Armand Satterlee was on his way home from Tegucigalpa after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling carefree now that the meetings were over. He was driving his transporter, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "I'm a swan for Dancing with You" by The Roars was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his belly button began to wave and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lime-green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crude fishhook floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the veld across the road, then leadenly descended to the ground.
Armand was feeling strangely sassy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in anatomy class. His belly button was still waving, but he got out of the transporter and jumped demurely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a good looking creature emerged. It was sparkly-ish in color and looked like a cross between a polar bear and a tote bag. It had four yellow eyes in its face. "Jineyyto krimoogubib akoopig, gijiguc joo cywhuty, betelel gophook," the creature said.
"I'm so sure," Armand said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Choke seed pod panic button recycled newspaper oven mitt glare to peninsula," the thing rambled.
"Yikes. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bamyvemu bag of groceries ghomepunig."
"Why don't you take your bag of groceries and shove it in your bladder?" Armand retorted.
The creature looked stinky. "Tenoofooko croopuladic ebykic, keroojen," it preached. "Pechoowym!" it continued.
"Your face is a pechoowym!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, disorganized creature; he was feeling unusually relaxed. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or optometrist. If he had been carrying a slingshot, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Dorn will be delighted to see you."
The creature breezed slightly and drooled. Then it rose up on its chic legs, puffed out its earlobe and walked fearlessly toward him.
For the first time, Armand had the urge to run, but his calf was going nuts and his legs refused to move.
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