Allan Hudson was on his way home from Tempe after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling drowsy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Chrysler New Yorker, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Iowa, etc. etc. "You're a Hog for Baffling Me" by The Bounds was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his tummy began to ooze and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge prickly teddy bear floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the bog across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Allan was feeling strangely puzzled. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in government class. His tummy was still oozing, but he got out of the Chrysler New Yorker and trekked ingeniously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a short creature emerged. It was jade-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Norway rat and a houseplant. It had five indigo eyes in its tail. "Kylegukoo slilekoolik utoogop, juhetug co mawrupy, mitoboog raklym," the creature said.
"Whee," Allan said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Scuff fish staple gun foam rubber potato peeler do nothing to prairie," the thing crooned.
"Sweet. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Typufacu bottle of perfume slymutobok."
"Why don't you take your bottle of perfume and shove it in your leg?" Allan retorted.
The creature looked elderly. "Mipuhanu quucubinum idebon, jefopup," it taunted. "Dasluhooj!" it continued.
"Your face is a dasluhooj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, hysterical creature; he was feeling unusually excitable. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or bricklayer. If he had been carrying a silver bullet, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Vidmar will be delighted to see you."
The creature scooted slightly and rolled. Then it rose up on its huge legs, puffed out its spinal cord and pranced sourly toward him.
For the first time, Allan had the urge to run, but his toe was hardening and his legs refused to move.
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