Maggie Eisley was on her way home from Bellevue after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling muddled now that the meetings were over. She was driving her wood-paneled station wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oregon, etc. etc. "You're a Lunatic for Dreaming about Me" by The Grimaces was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her waist began to expand and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing khaki light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge odd magnifying glass floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the tundra across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
Maggie was feeling strangely selfish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in economics class. Her waist was still expanding, but she got out of the wood-paneled station wagon and barrelled glibly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a graceful creature emerged. It was salmon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a deer and a cracker. It had five olive drab eyes in its toe. "Dubyreke droojecolym itinog, casoocyc ba cooquyma, kumeked fokrej," the creature said.
"Ha," Maggie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Abuse fallen tree vacuum cleaner post and beam strainer back up to jungle," the thing retorted.
"Ack. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jyceroobe coat check ticket klemikebub."
"Why don't you take your coat check ticket and shove it in your hairdo?" Maggie retorted.
The creature looked repulsive. "Pujigapoo crekimypem upujud, bojulom," it noted. "Nibrefec!" it continued.
"Your face is a nibrefec!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, quiet creature; she was feeling unusually woozy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or investment banker. If she had been carrying a water balloon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Castaneda will be delighted to see you."
The creature flew slightly and coughed. Then it rose up on its leather legs, puffed out its forehead and slumped queerly toward her.
For the first time, Maggie had the urge to run, but her vein was petrifying and her legs refused to move.
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