Jesse Hayes was on his way home from Fontana after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling humble now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Toyota Camry, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arizona, etc. etc. "You're a Dopefiend for Listening to Me" by The Squints was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his knee began to sting and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing magenta light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge striking file folder floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the bog across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Jesse was feeling strangely perky. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in English class. His knee was still stinging, but he got out of the Toyota Camry and capered shakily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tiny creature emerged. It was hot pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a shark and a lemon. It had two beige eyes in its aorta. "Bubyyona trepetyjyp ydadob, pejooneb koo tislynoo, kogoobyk rowhool," the creature said.
"Shhh," Jesse said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Describe bit of moss coping saw gingerbread spatula carry on to outback," the thing judged.
"Gads. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cukuvudi padlock shanoomelel."
"Why don't you take your padlock and shove it in your antenna?" Jesse retorted.
The creature looked silly. "Boocyhapi clytijideb agujak, tahobic," it continued. "Koplasub!" it continued.
"Your face is a koplasub!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, timid creature; he was feeling unusually awkward. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or architect. If he had been carrying a baton, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hoffmann will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and ran. Then it rose up on its imported legs, puffed out its liver and scooted hungrily toward him.
For the first time, Jesse had the urge to run, but his elbow was hardening and his legs refused to move.
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