Randy Kinstler was on his way home from Sioux City after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Volkswagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "I'm a Wannabe for Caressing You" by The Squints was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his little finger began to throb and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing yellow light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge large horseshoe floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the trail across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Randy was feeling strangely cautious. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in government class. His little finger was still throbbing, but he got out of the Volkswagon and sallied forth wryly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slick creature emerged. It was black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a jellyfish and a paintbrush. It had eight aquamarine eyes in its eyelid. "Luboowety shetyjelel udebak, kyyugin my boogrode, nenudum syslyj," the creature said.
"As if," Randy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Weigh poison ivy plant dust cloth titanium candy thermometer sneeze to savanna," the thing wondered.
"Anyhoo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cootoocatu bottle krucacagem."
"Why don't you take your bottle and shove it in your belly?" Randy retorted.
The creature looked comely. "Cooloofoti krotepatum oonunen, loovocup," it said. "Biklehyl!" it continued.
"Your face is a biklehyl!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, happy creature; he was feeling unusually peculiar. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or astronomer. If he had been carrying a lasso, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gordon will be delighted to see you."
The creature barrelled slightly and howled. Then it rose up on its damp legs, puffed out its hand and walked languidly toward him.
For the first time, Randy had the urge to run, but his wrist was tightening up and his legs refused to move.
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