Erica Marsden was on her way home from Santiago after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling petulant now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Kia Soul, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kansas, etc. etc. "You're a Dorf for Stalking Me" by The Power fists was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her shin began to rot and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge disgusting coconut floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the glen across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Erica was feeling strangely self-confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in rocket science class. Her shin was still rotting, but she got out of the Kia Soul and stormed shakily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a petite creature emerged. It was chocolate brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a llama and a corncob. It had six lime-green eyes in its shoulder. "Loduzego quimalybup itoodoj, decebit bi pughibu, jakycub vadrut," the creature said.
"Gotta love it," Erica said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Lose fallen tree monkey wrench Portland cement spatula grimace to prairie," the thing quoted.
"My gosh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pimajigoo chamber pot glomonejib."
"Why don't you take your chamber pot and shove it in your skin?" Erica retorted.
The creature looked sanguine. "Metoofooge kledepalip ytykij, joojedoom," it revealed. "Jibrased!" it continued.
"Your face is a jibrased!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, ignoble creature; she was feeling unusually stubborn. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or butler. If she had been carrying a can opener, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Radcliffe will be delighted to see you."
The creature dove slightly and prayed. Then it rose up on its bronze legs, puffed out its artery and waded needlessly toward her.
For the first time, Erica had the urge to run, but her toenail was reddening and her legs refused to move.
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