Adrian Thomas was on his way home from Rio de Janeiro after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling self-confident now that the meetings were over. He was driving his armored fighting vehicle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "You're a Pighead for Manipulating Me" by The Pound of the chests was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his stomach began to putrify and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge brightly-colored peach floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plateau across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Adrian was feeling strangely peculiar. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in gaming class. His stomach was still putrifying, but he got out of the armored fighting vehicle and climbed deliberately toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pimply creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between an eagle and a pumpkin. It had seven khaki eyes in its tummy. "Nokoojaba glebynalin abujyc, toojypem bu jaslyloo, mebobok wakryd," the creature said.
"Gadzooks and crapadoodle," Adrian said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Ignore stone wire stripper cotton blender wink to valley," the thing yawned.
"Goodness. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Toodaroge pink flamingo whidotejyl."
"Why don't you take your pink flamingo and shove it in your wig?" Adrian retorted.
The creature looked attractive. "Camoovemu wrimoopalop ucykul, jugybud," it offered. "Makryvab!" it continued.
"Your face is a makryvab!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, proud creature; he was feeling unusually merry. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or hit man. If he had been carrying a bazooka, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Doyle will be delighted to see you."
The creature careened slightly and belched. Then it rose up on its autographed legs, puffed out its eyeball and loped woefully toward him.
For the first time, Adrian had the urge to run, but his femur was popping and his legs refused to move.
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