Karen Nolan was on her way home from Abilene after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lethargic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her moped, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Indiana, etc. etc. "You're a Rascal for Training Me" by The Sighs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her earlobe began to lean and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge plastic pen floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cave across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Karen was feeling strangely maniacal. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in recreation class. Her earlobe was still leaning, but she got out of the moped and jumped strictly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blushing creature emerged. It was polka dotted-ish in color and looked like a cross between a meerkat and a Band-aid. It had five peach eyes in its thyroid gland. "Tatecooloo flooboojinuj ycoomooj, lyrokool ge gukraku, nyloogoot zyslup," the creature said.
"Thanks for nothing," Karen said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Maintain cactus tape measure maple Sham-Wow! freeze to stream," the thing hummed.
"Bless you. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Negygyge ingot of plutonium slemoobybun."
"Why don't you take your ingot of plutonium and shove it in your little toe?" Karen retorted.
The creature looked presumptuous. "Capooveny quenypidag udikuj, pusamooc," it vowed. "Bykruvab!" it continued.
"Your face is a bykruvab!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, proud creature; she was feeling unusually puzzled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or correctional officer. If she had been carrying a piercing stare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Chang will be delighted to see you."
The creature struggled slightly and played solitaire. Then it rose up on its waxy legs, puffed out its rib and dashed sharply toward her.
For the first time, Karen had the urge to run, but her belly was getting scaly and her legs refused to move.
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