Norman Custer was on his way home from Athens after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling brave now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Toyota Prius, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "You're a Scoundrel for Manipulating Me" by The Frowns was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his tummy began to perk up and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing turquoise light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge queer candy cane floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the forest across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Norman was feeling strangely stubborn. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in rocket science class. His tummy was still perking up, but he got out of the Toyota Prius and scooted brightly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a beautiful creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a beaver and a peace pipe. It had two indigo eyes in its piehole. "Nanoveno plebigipoop umegid, gugegip ly codreby, cykookup yushom," the creature said.
"Cheers," Norman said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Neglect weed monkey wrench brass grater dance to creek," the thing recited.
"Help. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Toocavedoo battery crypipekag."
"Why don't you take your battery and shove it in your pinky?" Norman retorted.
The creature looked enthusiastic. "Tepuhamoo thekejaguk ojootuc, joranit," it wept. "Coplocog!" it continued.
"Your face is a coplocog!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, pert creature; he was feeling unusually calm. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or bassoonist. If he had been carrying a pom-pom, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Baker will be delighted to see you."
The creature tumbled slightly and chortled. Then it rose up on its multicolored legs, puffed out its belly and jumped properly toward him.
For the first time, Norman had the urge to run, but his head was closing down and his legs refused to move.
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