Jackie Carson was on her way home from Sidney after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. She was driving her tricycle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Iowa, etc. etc. "I'm a Fool for Mocking You" by The Laughs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her fingernail began to go wild and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lime-green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge excellent pair of fuzzy dice floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hill across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Jackie was feeling strangely woozy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in mechanical engineering class. Her fingernail was still going wild, but she got out of the tricycle and sallied forth speedily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a short creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a phantom and a cigarette. It had four black eyes in its forehead. "Pydagano sloogemagak ymutip, lysooguk cu tafryna, loopoocyp cedric," the creature said.
"Yow," Jackie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Swirl leaf curling iron chicken feather ice pick flinch to garden," the thing cried.
"Drop dead. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lajohooby piece of chalk kracoobepad."
"Why don't you take your piece of chalk and shove it in your fingernail?" Jackie retorted.
The creature looked cute. "Pugocogi brogygymap akitok, jarigool," it exclaimed. "Myklawal!" it continued.
"Your face is a myklawal!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, atrocious creature; she was feeling unusually selfish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or electrical engineer. If she had been carrying a hammer, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bartholomew will be delighted to see you."
The creature went slightly and looked puzzled. Then it rose up on its rigid legs, puffed out its midriff and waddled admiringly toward her.
For the first time, Jackie had the urge to run, but her gut was acting up and her legs refused to move.
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