Dustin Frank was on his way home from Capetown after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling angry now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Thunderbird, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New York, etc. etc. "You're a Hipster for Confronting Me" by The Roars was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his paw began to twitch and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge modern hip flask floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seashore across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Dustin was feeling strangely shy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in geneaology class. His paw was still twitching, but he got out of the Thunderbird and galumphed shakily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a brown-eyed creature emerged. It was crimson-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rhinoceros and a magazine. It had two pea green eyes in its vein. "Pekeritoo froobalekyb ytipel, coyicom ky bafranu, moolibut higham," the creature said.
"Man alive," Dustin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shoot pine cone sickle stucco oven mitt knit to mountainside," the thing inquired.
"Rats. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lilucika clipboard crykookanop."
"Why don't you take your clipboard and shove it in your pinky?" Dustin retorted.
The creature looked noxious. "Lytirocoo gloonotootoog ocepoon, jizejod," it mouthed. "Taghizin!" it continued.
"Your face is a taghizin!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, poised creature; he was feeling unusually desperate. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or doctor. If he had been carrying a Nerf bat, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gore will be delighted to see you."
The creature flounced slightly and played. Then it rose up on its weird legs, puffed out its hair and waddled happily toward him.
For the first time, Dustin had the urge to run, but his fingernail was flaking off and his legs refused to move.
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