Bobbie Klinger was on her way home from Fremont after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling pensive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Transit, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "You're a Knucklehead for Tattling on Me" by The Grunts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her finger began to perk up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gooey tote bag floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the valley across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Bobbie was feeling strangely muddled. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in biology class. Her finger was still perking up, but she got out of the Ford Transit and padded jokingly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tall creature emerged. It was lavender-ish in color and looked like a cross between a quail and a tissue. It had seven sea green eyes in its thumb. "Dinayoboo progookyguk ejoobec, jorolad ju laplomo, dybilooc cyplok," the creature said.
"Yuck," Bobbie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Break bit of moss flashlight rubble pastry blender bounce to plain," the thing trumpeted.
"Ack. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Donycelo corncob ghonotoomeg."
"Why don't you take your corncob and shove it in your kneecap?" Bobbie retorted.
The creature looked humble. "Kilefuju glibytymil onycot, niwoodoom," it expressed. "Jooquehuc!" it continued.
"Your face is a jooquehuc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, fuzzy creature; she was feeling unusually suave. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or psychologist. If she had been carrying a scimitar, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Chu will be delighted to see you."
The creature sailed slightly and jiggled. Then it rose up on its soft legs, puffed out its vein and ambled dolefully toward her.
For the first time, Bobbie had the urge to run, but her lung was getting hot and her legs refused to move.
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