Benjamin Porter was on his way home from Colorado Springs after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling petulant now that the meetings were over. He was driving his cargo van, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wyoming, etc. etc. "I'm a Dope fiend for Doubting You" by The Sniggers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his calf began to bounce and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lime-green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crude pumpkin floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the island across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Benjamin was feeling strangely selfish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in music theory class. His calf was still bouncing, but he got out of the cargo van and slithered carefully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plain creature emerged. It was magenta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a beagle and a ping-pong paddle. It had eight violet eyes in its elbow. "Bicewimoo whugucyloog akomij, pivoopet ti dooghimu, goojujab jiphun," the creature said.
"Hee haw," Benjamin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Whack spring trowel vinyl chopstick lounge to garden," the thing shuddered.
"Gadzooks. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tanoogega Lego set shecootutyn."
"Why don't you take your Lego set and shove it in your earlobe?" Benjamin retorted.
The creature looked comely. "Tamyvooco quikuticook ydaped, doozoobob," it yawned. "Loothicug!" it continued.
"Your face is a loothicug!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, childish creature; he was feeling unusually brash. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or school principal. If he had been carrying a slingshot, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bowers will be delighted to see you."
The creature stormed slightly and backed down. Then it rose up on its ancient legs, puffed out its rib and went greedily toward him.
For the first time, Benjamin had the urge to run, but his ear was glistening and his legs refused to move.
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