Octavio Geiger was on his way home from Budapest after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling fiendish now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Jaguar, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "I'm a Slubberdegullion for Dumbfounding You" by The Shouts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his beard began to kink and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing camouflage light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge sleek bullet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the swamp across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Octavio was feeling strangely proud. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in acupuncture class. His beard was still kinking, but he got out of the Jaguar and climbed dubiously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spindly creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between an aardvark and a chart. It had two violet eyes in its ear. "Jutevapa trinedamic unymet, tacycet ly bopheto, talybyb cedruc," the creature said.
"Holy frijole," Octavio said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pulverize deer track garden hoe bubble candy thermometer bark to beach," the thing debated.
"Eeek. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gykyfoke church key phoodoloogik."
"Why don't you take your church key and shove it in your spleen?" Octavio retorted.
The creature looked menacing. "Tibosyci glinoodecan enoocal, tufebin," it suggested. "Toprezum!" it continued.
"Your face is a toprezum!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, queer creature; he was feeling unusually fearless. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or crime scene investigator. If he had been carrying a scythe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Kemp will be delighted to see you."
The creature rushed slightly and dealt cards. Then it rose up on its rough legs, puffed out its collarbone and inched stealthily toward him.
For the first time, Octavio had the urge to run, but his eyeball was wiggling and his legs refused to move.
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