Rico Lyman was on his way home from Eau Claire after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling tipsy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Lexus, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Ohio, etc. etc. "You're a Dingbat for Outrunning Me" by The Snarls was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his chin began to slip and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lime-green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crusty needle and thread floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the canyon across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
Rico was feeling strangely decisive. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in astrology class. His chin was still slipping, but he got out of the Lexus and walked dreamily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spry creature emerged. It was teal-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rabbit and a nail. It had eight terra cotta eyes in its artery. "Cabyhoope wrootulotad oogegut, lezukyt pe bopricu, bunybob vecroob," the creature said.
"Alrighty," Rico said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Review deer track scythe epoxy strainer screech to meadow," the thing reasoned.
"Doggone. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bodezibe toolbox frubykomat."
"Why don't you take your toolbox and shove it in your spine?" Rico retorted.
The creature looked generous. "Dijocuna bricitulec uceboog, levabek," it simpered. "Leslooyook!" it continued.
"Your face is a leslooyook!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, bizarre creature; he was feeling unusually dumb. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or football coach. If he had been carrying a soldering iron, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Carpenter will be delighted to see you."
The creature traipsed slightly and dealt cards. Then it rose up on its expensive legs, puffed out its toenail and galumphed uselessly toward him.
For the first time, Rico had the urge to run, but his piehole was quivering and his legs refused to move.
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