Kurt Greco was on his way home from Rio de Janeiro after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling merry now that the meetings were over. He was driving his cargo van, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nebraska, etc. etc. "I'm a Dorf for Frightening You" by The Glares was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his face began to get moist and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing yellow light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge magnificent orange floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the swamp across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Kurt was feeling strangely modest. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in architecture class. His face was still getting moist, but he got out of the cargo van and strolled frantically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a winsome creature emerged. It was violet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dinosaur and a tube of toothpaste. It had six amber eyes in its larynx. "Pydofydu freloogootab ijypyj, pavupool da kytroce, bicocyt cislyk," the creature said.
"Horse feathers," Kurt said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Reposition dead fish wire brush pewter mixing spoon wink to lagoon," the thing yawned.
"Aye. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jinocuby hammer flymenoojop."
"Why don't you take your hammer and shove it in your heel?" Kurt retorted.
The creature looked undignified. "Byjisiku klalilogoc ujoodyk, defypyb," it murmured. "Tooclyrooj!" it continued.
"Your face is a tooclyrooj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, precocious creature; he was feeling unusually drowsy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or coroner. If he had been carrying a knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President MacGibbon will be delighted to see you."
The creature sailed slightly and barked. Then it rose up on its slimy legs, puffed out its eyeball and crawled gleefully toward him.
For the first time, Kurt had the urge to run, but his tooth was blossoming and his legs refused to move.
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