Gladys Allison was on her way home from Pomona after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sarcastic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ferrari, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "I'm a Tattletale for Greeting You" by The Laughs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her belly began to sweat and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chocolate brown light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge primitive towel floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the badlands area across the road, then hurriedly descended to the ground.
Gladys was feeling strangely cruel. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in painting class. Her belly was still sweating, but she got out of the Ferrari and trotted charmingly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a heavyset creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a goblin and a bucket. It had five rose eyes in its hip. "Nookocumi clokonootoot opabem, borenyb bu gucronu, goomynol wycreg," the creature said.
"Bless my hide," Gladys said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Roll badger hole mallet fairy dust sharp knife rest to village," the thing questioned.
"Hah. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Liberebu pair of pliers phoketoken."
"Why don't you take your pair of pliers and shove it in your pancreas?" Gladys retorted.
The creature looked prickly. "Lejayoope plypoomoobop enooduk, loogemin," it shuddered. "Teslowun!" it continued.
"Your face is a teslowun!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, dignified creature; she was feeling unusually peckish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or valet. If she had been carrying a ukulele, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bergstrom will be delighted to see you."
The creature went slightly and dressed up. Then it rose up on its smumpy legs, puffed out its head and slipped grandly toward her.
For the first time, Gladys had the urge to run, but her palm was reddening and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter