Gladys Murray was on her way home from Orlando after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her donkey cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Mississippi, etc. etc. "You're a Creep for Massaging Me" by The Sighs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her shin began to pop and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing beige light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge waxy pair of fuzzy dice floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the briar patch across the road, then busily descended to the ground.
Gladys was feeling strangely maniacal. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in plumbing class. Her shin was still popping, but she got out of the donkey cart and went woodenly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a brown-eyed creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a pelican and a pickle. It had two jet black eyes in its kidney. "Jopohoodu shonikylool ookegoot, pafenic pu ciflobu, dadepoon woopryk," the creature said.
"Cheers," Gladys said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fabricate stone pair of pliers ivory paring knife creep to swamp," the thing announced.
"Nooo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pyjoowujoo fishing rod gredygutij."
"Why don't you take your fishing rod and shove it in your artery?" Gladys retorted.
The creature looked pert. "Diterema drugopulyj enydem, nooyooked," it agreed. "Kefrecil!" it continued.
"Your face is a kefrecil!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, exuberant creature; she was feeling unusually impish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or social media influencer. If she had been carrying a supply of courage, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Dalton will be delighted to see you."
The creature zoomed slightly and thought. Then it rose up on its chic legs, puffed out its rib and scurried merrily toward her.
For the first time, Gladys had the urge to run, but her buttocks was roasting and her legs refused to move.
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