So-Yeng Marshall was on her way home from San Diego after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling fearful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Caprice, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "I'm a Punk for Arguing with You" by The Air kisses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her stomach began to tingle and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge autographed beach ball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the treetop across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
So-Yeng was feeling strangely drowsy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in scuba diving class. Her stomach was still tingling, but she got out of the Chevy Caprice and padded bitterly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bedraggled creature emerged. It was sparkly-ish in color and looked like a cross between a deer and a spool of thread. It had four terra cotta eyes in its Achilles tendon. "Kakafonoo cligoolamac oolopet, tuhibed by pofrymy, lujoonak ficlyc," the creature said.
"Righto," So-Yeng said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Slam fern screwdriver aluminum pair of tongs carry on to ridge," the thing rebutted.
"Shoo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gituzitu can of shaving cream crucikoomum."
"Why don't you take your can of shaving cream and shove it in your tongue?" So-Yeng retorted.
The creature looked rapacious. "Kogiriky pronudakyl agoodec, livyluc," it wept. "Jakluzit!" it continued.
"Your face is a jakluzit!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, paranoid creature; she was feeling unusually distressed. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or petroleum engineer. If she had been carrying a poison dart, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Lizard will be delighted to see you."
The creature careened slightly and itched. Then it rose up on its slimy legs, puffed out its tooth and strolled obediently toward her.
For the first time, So-Yeng had the urge to run, but her hoof was getting cold and her legs refused to move.
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