Lindsey Findley was on her way home from Huntsville after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling stubborn now that the meetings were over. She was driving her scooter, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Ohio, etc. etc. "You're a Flouting milksop for Grilling Me" by The Blushes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her bicep began to enlarge and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge expensive toolbox floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the field across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Lindsey was feeling strangely stubborn. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in zoology class. Her bicep was still enlarging, but she got out of the scooter and flew fervently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a beautiful creature emerged. It was violet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a flamingo and a bag of groceries. It had five brown eyes in its appendix. "Poocigemoo chumekopeb oododek, koorubuj moo duquulu, ticylyd raklyg," the creature said.
"Blast," Lindsey said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Yank spring broom duct tape food processor chant to buffalo wallow," the thing spat.
"My my. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Noodegeby horseshoe prodekegook."
"Why don't you take your horseshoe and shove it in your eyebrow?" Lindsey retorted.
The creature looked serious. "Gipoogace droogikykoop etyjyc, liyipul," it retorted. "Judrizook!" it continued.
"Your face is a judrizook!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, enthusiastic creature; she was feeling unusually proud. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or clerk. If she had been carrying a Taser, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Barducci will be delighted to see you."
The creature danced slightly and looked dumb. Then it rose up on its clean legs, puffed out its esophagus and slid trustingly toward her.
For the first time, Lindsey had the urge to run, but her kneecap was drying up and her legs refused to move.
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