Jolene Lindgren was on her way home from Bogotá after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sarcastic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Falcon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Missouri, etc. etc. "You're a Nincompoop for Screaming at Me" by The Puckers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her rib began to bulge and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive drab light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge clean twig floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hayfield across the road, then reluctantly descended to the ground.
Jolene was feeling strangely nervous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in meteorology class. Her rib was still bulging, but she got out of the Falcon and walked sagely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slender creature emerged. It was terra cotta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a jaguar and a book. It had seven turquoise eyes in its skull. "Bucusugi cludamogooj imumoj, tazabet ly jifrany, numemim zypheg," the creature said.
"Very funny," Jolene said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Honor wolf track pair of safety glasses Bakelite pair of tongs sniff to path," the thing taunted.
"Poppycock. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kamiyagu bird feeder wrobykoocab."
"Why don't you take your bird feeder and shove it in your eyebrow?" Jolene retorted.
The creature looked stinky. "Jolesema dremoojocyg igydoj, tyjelet," it muttered. "Gibrejap!" it continued.
"Your face is a gibrejap!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sweet creature; she was feeling unusually cruel. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or mattress tester. If she had been carrying a carbine, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Feeley will be delighted to see you."
The creature slumped slightly and breathed. Then it rose up on its polka-dotted legs, puffed out its brain and skidded sourly toward her.
For the first time, Jolene had the urge to run, but her hair was looking strange and her legs refused to move.
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