Jimmie Lee Thor was on his way home from Garden Grove after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling resolute now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Dodge Charger, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Lamebrain for Marrying Me" by The Gurgles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his bladder began to get hairy and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing orange light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fluffy umbrella floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the desert across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Jimmie Lee was feeling strangely proud. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in cartography class. His bladder was still getting hairy, but he got out of the Dodge Charger and scampered fondly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a thin creature emerged. It was periwinkle-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hippopotamus and a tote bag. It had two jade eyes in its hand. "Pujygiby dronojoodot ygoocot, kejigij ta nootrymo, jepygal yasloog," the creature said.
"Mommy," Jimmie Lee said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Remove weed sickle linen cheesecloth gesticulate to gulch," the thing suggested.
"Spiff. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jygucyco balloon dromenamag."
"Why don't you take your balloon and shove it in your back?" Jimmie Lee retorted.
The creature looked timid. "Cipoofigi chemoopygol yjydyt, misudaj," it preached. "Kythesem!" it continued.
"Your face is a kythesem!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, sleek creature; he was feeling unusually cruel. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or stenographer. If he had been carrying a shoulder fired rocket, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Beasley will be delighted to see you."
The creature tiptoed slightly and yelped. Then it rose up on its frilly legs, puffed out its skin and waded angrily toward him.
For the first time, Jimmie Lee had the urge to run, but his chest was gnarling and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter