Kaylee Deutsch was on her way home from Cleveland after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her pickup, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Michigan, etc. etc. "You're an Old biddy for Confronting Me" by The Stiff upper lips was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her face began to line up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge porcelain toilet plunger floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the oasis across the road, then leadenly descended to the ground.
Kaylee was feeling strangely sober. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in veterinary medicine class. Her face was still lining up, but she got out of the pickup and zipped tensely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a chubby creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tropical fish and a campaign sign. It had four sparkly eyes in its eyelash. "Jootyrabi krypydebub ujityp, nyvedeb lo ticlili, dicimap seprel," the creature said.
"Bingo," Kaylee said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unlock stick soldering iron banana leaves blender doodle to desert," the thing emphasized.
"Well. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Denirupi pair of binoculars glemyloopac."
"Why don't you take your pair of binoculars and shove it in your tummy?" Kaylee retorted.
The creature looked conscientious. "Tibyyoope flupulynec emojok, cicudit," it said. "Lifroyun!" it continued.
"Your face is a lifroyun!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, anemic creature; she was feeling unusually cunning. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or electrical engineer. If she had been carrying a set of nunchucks, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Panzer will be delighted to see you."
The creature slipped slightly and rested. Then it rose up on its abnormal legs, puffed out its big toe and ambled hopefully toward her.
For the first time, Kaylee had the urge to run, but her hip was flaring up and her legs refused to move.
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