Martin Orwell was on his way home from Sioux City after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling dapper now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Bronco, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Rhode Island, etc. etc. "I'm a Lamebrain for Chatting with You" by The Grimaces was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his earlobe began to burn and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge polished salt shaker floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cave across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Martin was feeling strangely lethargic. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in deportment class. His earlobe was still burning, but he got out of the Ford Bronco and bounded noisily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a chubby creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a giraffe and a deck of cards. It had two lavender eyes in its leg. "Tootufuly prygoonecyp apocyj, dasolok bo cicriby, cyjoomat yiglut," the creature said.
"Anyhow," Martin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Duplicate fallen tree pizza cutter paper clip potato peeler hiccup to mesa," the thing voiced.
"Shazam. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pyjahino pumpkin klypyloopop."
"Why don't you take your pumpkin and shove it in your vein?" Martin retorted.
The creature looked affable. "Takufooty slunamamuc adutin, gasicoog," it burbled. "Poochohak!" it continued.
"Your face is a poochohak!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, rugged creature; he was feeling unusually fearful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or monk. If he had been carrying a knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Barnes will be delighted to see you."
The creature galumphed slightly and came to. Then it rose up on its dusty legs, puffed out its jaw and pranced sarcastically toward him.
For the first time, Martin had the urge to run, but his eyebrow was rumbling and his legs refused to move.
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