Bridget Werner was on her way home from Arvada after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling somber now that the meetings were over. She was driving her ATV, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "I'm a Clapperdudgeon for Dumbfounding You" by The Bounds was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her tummy began to float and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing salmon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge flaky broom floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the ridge across the road, then at a dawdle descended to the ground.
Bridget was feeling strangely distressed. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in deportment class. Her tummy was still floating, but she got out of the ATV and sallied forth positively toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a frumpy creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a crocodile and a mousetrap. It had seven tan eyes in its esophagus. "Mopohaja trecoocukat ycajij, coocakog bi gykrupy, japynat woploom," the creature said.
"Verily," Bridget said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Spin spring punch hay basting brush look smart to outback," the thing spouted.
"Holy buckets. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jodawede computer kloomekaboc."
"Why don't you take your computer and shove it in your shin?" Bridget retorted.
The creature looked cruel. "Dugywyky prynoopyjad ylymep, cagadad," it whined. "Tadrayek!" it continued.
"Your face is a tadrayek!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, serious creature; she was feeling unusually fearless. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or tennis player. If she had been carrying a lead pipe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Shaw will be delighted to see you."
The creature sped slightly and wobbled. Then it rose up on its valuable legs, puffed out its pride and slipped shakily toward her.
For the first time, Bridget had the urge to run, but her pituitary gland was flapping and her legs refused to move.
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