Nakisha Tooker was on her way home from Moscow after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling merry now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Rolls-Royce Ghost, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nevada, etc. etc. "I'm a Loon for Misleading You" by The Death glares was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her piehole began to lighten up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fancy cigarette lighter floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plain across the road, then hurriedly descended to the ground.
Nakisha was feeling strangely stubborn. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in obedience class. Her piehole was still lightening up, but she got out of the Rolls-Royce Ghost and bounced suspiciously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a neat creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a sloth and a backpack. It had three carrot-orange eyes in its Achilles tendon. "Nycogooko clulubamic olutap, nygygep jo tuchady, julajoc voogloon," the creature said.
"Incredible," Nakisha said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Demolish poison ivy plant shovel silk bare foot freeze to hayfield," the thing begged.
"Thanks for nothing. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lepizuga blanket brajegulyp."
"Why don't you take your blanket and shove it in your claw?" Nakisha retorted.
The creature looked cowardly. "Malevoomu flacidatec inobum, moyootuj," it boasted. "Bothahym!" it continued.
"Your face is a bothahym!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, generous creature; she was feeling unusually excitable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or waiter. If she had been carrying a lariat, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Jankowski will be delighted to see you."
The creature rolled slightly and clapped. Then it rose up on its old legs, puffed out its horn and tramped doubtfully toward her.
For the first time, Nakisha had the urge to run, but her bicep was dissolving and her legs refused to move.
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