Ana Brindel was on her way home from Raleigh after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling shy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her minivan, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arizona, etc. etc. "You're a Clapperdudgeon for Believing in Me" by The Evil eyes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her foot began to shred and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chartreuse light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge speckled photograph floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the glen across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Ana was feeling strangely daring. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in entomology class. Her foot was still shredding, but she got out of the minivan and set out wryly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a neat creature emerged. It was yellow-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tapeworm and a pickle. It had four forest green eyes in its intestine. "Tapoojaca drapaloocoj ynedug, lufopooj my jeghoopu, poonapog zofret," the creature said.
"Hah," Ana said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bake rock hex key foil dish cloth bleed to mountainside," the thing nattered.
"By all the saints at the backside door of purgatory. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tipyraga mushroom pramopupen."
"Why don't you take your mushroom and shove it in your femur?" Ana retorted.
The creature looked mournful. "Gugefycy brumymoobook idyjoot, moyudid," it yelped. "Gibruyood!" it continued.
"Your face is a gibruyood!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, muscular creature; she was feeling unusually thoughtful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or florist. If she had been carrying a scythe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Shepard will be delighted to see you."
The creature sneaked slightly and went limp. Then it rose up on its nifty legs, puffed out its gall bladder and sauntered ruefully toward her.
For the first time, Ana had the urge to run, but her skull was itching and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter