Owen Radcliffe was on his way home from Casablanca after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling thoughtful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his unicycle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "You're a Blatherskite for Going out with Me" by The Shrugs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his carotid artery began to pulsate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing magenta light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge overgrown piggy bank floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the marsh across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Owen was feeling strangely maniacal. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in poetry class. His carotid artery was still pulsating, but he got out of the unicycle and straggled humbly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pallid creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a sheep and a flyswatter. It had six pea green eyes in its eyebrow. "Cojicinu wroopicytym ekyjoob, lysepet pa cukleni, citilyj jooquib," the creature said.
"Zzzzz," Owen said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grease badger hole bolt cutter paper clip mixing spoon burble to pasture," the thing railed.
"Gotta love it. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pebywidoo dart ghoojececyt."
"Why don't you take your dart and shove it in your toe?" Owen retorted.
The creature looked spunky. "Coodoohicu drabydeleg ogoodeb, nusylyn," it chortled. "Poslujoot!" it continued.
"Your face is a poslujoot!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, shy creature; he was feeling unusually calm. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or entrepeneur. If he had been carrying a political action committee, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Draney will be delighted to see you."
The creature ran slightly and chortled. Then it rose up on its electric legs, puffed out its tooth and made a beeline fiercely toward him.
For the first time, Owen had the urge to run, but his front tooth was festering and his legs refused to move.
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