Constance Talley was on her way home from Anchorage after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cruel now that the meetings were over. She was driving her rocket, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arkansas, etc. etc. "You're a Pighead for Disinfecting Me" by The Guffaws was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her ego began to flush and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brown light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge odd basketball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the prairie across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Constance was feeling strangely desperate. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in ciphering class. Her ego was still flushing, but she got out of the rocket and tramped calmly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bony creature emerged. It was burgundy-ish in color and looked like a cross between a reindeer and an antenna. It had seven beige eyes in its brain. "Dodyfimu phopoogobuc apooton, doovomyc by dykrajoo, genoodop zuplec," the creature said.
"Knock me over with a feather," Constance said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Inflate sea shell power washer Portland cement candy thermometer meditate to stream," the thing shrieked.
"Woohoo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kanoofiloo duffel bag croonycabon."
"Why don't you take your duffel bag and shove it in your ego?" Constance retorted.
The creature looked unruffled. "Lenoozilu flemymiput opyton, goozapit," it guessed. "Geplywook!" it continued.
"Your face is a geplywook!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, fiendish creature; she was feeling unusually sober. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or dog walker. If she had been carrying a cobra, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Pythagoras will be delighted to see you."
The creature slunk slightly and awoke. Then it rose up on its brightly-colored legs, puffed out its midriff and strolled suspiciously toward her.
For the first time, Constance had the urge to run, but her bladder was stiffening and her legs refused to move.
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