Tony Craft was on his way home from Sydney after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling generous now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Chevrolet Belair, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "I'm an Old coot for Going out with You" by The Raised eyebrows was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his gut began to get cold and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing emerald green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge brightly-colored hockey puck floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the housing development across the road, then reluctantly descended to the ground.
Tony was feeling strangely proud. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in entomology class. His gut was still getting cold, but he got out of the Chevrolet Belair and leapt mysteriously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dapper creature emerged. It was turquoise-ish in color and looked like a cross between a duck and a coin. It had five violet eyes in its waist. "Gemosudu frupakigen eloogap, joohoopuk jy poochapi, jupelook cuwhil," the creature said.
"Shiver me timbers," Tony said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Freeze bear track piece of sandpaper post and beam pair of tongs expectorate to valley," the thing revealed.
"Omigosh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Doodysite biscuit plycenimoon."
"Why don't you take your biscuit and shove it in your artery?" Tony retorted.
The creature looked direct. "Nomofaje kliloonumob emopej, mogytyj," it blustered. "Nishugab!" it continued.
"Your face is a nishugab!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, prissy creature; he was feeling unusually desperate. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or parole officer. If he had been carrying a scimitar, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Duckley will be delighted to see you."
The creature skittered slightly and collapsed. Then it rose up on its rusty legs, puffed out its scalp and tiptoed woefully toward him.
For the first time, Tony had the urge to run, but his gut was turning black and his legs refused to move.
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