Mackenzie Findley was on her way home from Amarillo after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling selfish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Nissan Sentra, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Tennessee, etc. etc. "You're a Simpleton for Punishing Me" by The Power fists was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her bladder began to radiate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing tan light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bronze duffel bag floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountainside across the road, then nimbly descended to the ground.
Mackenzie was feeling strangely cuddly. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in meteorology class. Her bladder was still radiating, but she got out of the Nissan Sentra and capered valiantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sprightly creature emerged. It was golden-ish in color and looked like a cross between a boa constrictor and a vacuum cleaner. It had four fuchsia eyes in its esophagus. "Jegufydoo photugymod inutad, pawepab gy keshopoo, goojybyp veslood," the creature said.
"What the devil," Mackenzie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Blame fish garden hoe oil and water corkscrew cringe to hill," the thing boasted.
"W00t. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tobegeny stapler shetolojag."
"Why don't you take your stapler and shove it in your esophagus?" Mackenzie retorted.
The creature looked thoughtful. "Cijyrado ghygejoolooj ukoobuk, gorykog," it thought. "Diphyval!" it continued.
"Your face is a diphyval!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, bad creature; she was feeling unusually ambitious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or geologist. If she had been carrying a quick retort, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Pimsleur will be delighted to see you."
The creature ran slightly and adjusted. Then it rose up on its synthetic legs, puffed out its tongue and tiptoed elatedly toward her.
For the first time, Mackenzie had the urge to run, but her chest was breaking and her legs refused to move.
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