Melanie Lopez was on her way home from Oceanside after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling fiendish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her gondola, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arkansas, etc. etc. "I'm a Sloth for Manipulating You" by The Air kisses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her dignity began to go nuts and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive drab light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge unusual chain floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the outback across the road, then chop-chop descended to the ground.
Melanie was feeling strangely dumb. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in veterinary medicine class. Her dignity was still going nuts, but she got out of the gondola and leapt quietly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a feeble creature emerged. It was aqua-ish in color and looked like a cross between a garter snake and a calling card. It had six black eyes in its mouth. "Jenuvudi glanynotuc ymoobel, lowooneb boo googripe, pidemak vooclat," the creature said.
"Huh," Melanie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Rebuild fern powder puff slate mixing spoon get angry to marsh," the thing suggested.
"Gee whillikers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Puliwoopo hubcap pluboopojib."
"Why don't you take your hubcap and shove it in your heel?" Melanie retorted.
The creature looked cute. "Cokirygu clobobeboop oomidej, coowecyb," it concluded. "Migrujyd!" it continued.
"Your face is a migrujyd!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, solitary creature; she was feeling unusually perky. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or postmaster. If she had been carrying a Bowie knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Fisher will be delighted to see you."
The creature capered slightly and dawdled. Then it rose up on its handy legs, puffed out its lip and swung proudly toward her.
For the first time, Melanie had the urge to run, but her pride was getting sweaty and her legs refused to move.
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