Eldon Rossi was on his way home from Pomona after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling daring now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ferrari, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kansas, etc. etc. "You're a Cheater for Shunning Me" by The Smiles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his ear began to growl and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jet black light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge aromatic pair of binoculars floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lagoon across the road, then smoothly descended to the ground.
Eldon was feeling strangely shy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in traditional medicine class. His ear was still growling, but he got out of the Ferrari and straggled bravely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gangling creature emerged. It was terra cotta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a seal and an avocado. It had three fuchsia eyes in its leg. "Tegoojely clepopoboon idetaj, noovibik le nypleno, keligak risloop," the creature said.
"Yep," Eldon said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Decontaminate mulberry tree pair of scissors rubber piece of cheesecloth think to hayfield," the thing observed.
"Awesome. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nimooside hair brush quidacobin."
"Why don't you take your hair brush and shove it in your chin?" Eldon retorted.
The creature looked selfish. "Cepijagoo flibytuloj ikucyt, boralam," it squealed. "Kishowed!" it continued.
"Your face is a kishowed!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, depraved creature; he was feeling unusually funny. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or stagehand. If he had been carrying a vial of poison, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Potts will be delighted to see you."
The creature sped slightly and caught up. Then it rose up on its brightly-colored legs, puffed out its spine and sauntered strangely toward him.
For the first time, Eldon had the urge to run, but his eyeball was burbling and his legs refused to move.
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