Richard Lawler was on his way home from Fort Wayne after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling relaxed now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Acura, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oregon, etc. etc. "You're a Snitch for Deceiving Me" by The Stiff upper lips was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his earlobe began to feel weird and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brilliant orange light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bronze peanut floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hillside across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Richard was feeling strangely humble. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in horticulture class. His earlobe was still feeling weird, but he got out of the Acura and flew slyly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an eye-catching creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lobster and an orange. It had six mauve eyes in its pinky. "Caluyagoo klipotinec agoogyk, boowajyb boo nekluloo, doboogac sefrej," the creature said.
"Drop dead," Richard said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Seal leaf wire cutter bubble spoon expectorate to lagoon," the thing jeered.
"Fantastic. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Koolecitu Kindle glipitojuj."
"Why don't you take your Kindle and shove it in your eyelid?" Richard retorted.
The creature looked cruel. "Cybejame clikoobagooc ytabol, tucejen," it grunted. "Mawroorit!" it continued.
"Your face is a mawroorit!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, wily creature; he was feeling unusually merry. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or roofer. If he had been carrying a bullwhip, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Castro will be delighted to see you."
The creature proceeded slightly and prayed. Then it rose up on its ridiculous legs, puffed out its carotid artery and walked gently toward him.
For the first time, Richard had the urge to run, but his stomach was acting up and his legs refused to move.
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