Lois Ming was on her way home from Tallahassee after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her delivery van, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "You're a Freak for Having a talk with Me" by The Evil eyes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her neck began to feel weird and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing camouflage light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge spongy suitcase floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hill across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
Lois was feeling strangely furious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in veterinary medicine class. Her neck was still feeling weird, but she got out of the delivery van and barrelled brashly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an emaciated creature emerged. It was salmon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a muskrat and a magnet. It had two brilliant orange eyes in its eye. "Tykajagu gronoopupom ebelyd, luhemoob ge jabrooda, kyjegac zeslil," the creature said.
"Nice," Lois said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Kill mushroom dust cloth Velcro oven mitt chant to hillside," the thing rationalized.
"Can you dig it?. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kulyrily duffel bag gragejujig."
"Why don't you take your duffel bag and shove it in your skull?" Lois retorted.
The creature looked dapper. "Ligohubu grodopigub ucijul, cihycad," it intimated. "Jeshyyyn!" it continued.
"Your face is a jeshyyyn!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, brash creature; she was feeling unusually disagreeable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or marketing manager. If she had been carrying a bow and arrows, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Brown will be delighted to see you."
The creature strode slightly and puckered. Then it rose up on its small legs, puffed out its bladder and slumped hungrily toward her.
For the first time, Lois had the urge to run, but her antenna was flexing and her legs refused to move.
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