Luis Davis was on his way home from Las Vegas after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling shy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Pontiac LeMans, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "I'm a Ninny for Leading You" by The Clenched fists was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his heel began to explode and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing grey light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge broken stack of papers floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the buffalo wallow across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Luis was feeling strangely cheerful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in political science class. His heel was still exploding, but he got out of the Pontiac LeMans and flounced cruelly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a fair creature emerged. It was lavender-ish in color and looked like a cross between a manticore and a purse. It had seven turquoise eyes in its paw. "Tibefeke pritycopal opegit, tacilog coo lukrooby, jocoojom zuklin," the creature said.
"Heck," Luis said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Probe badger hole wrench yarn mixing spoon bounce to mesa," the thing decided.
"WTF. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mikyzebe can of soup chegytygej."
"Why don't you take your can of soup and shove it in your thorax?" Luis retorted.
The creature looked bad. "Gobawylo ghicidoopooj elokyg, luwonyt," it uttered. "Tughuzaj!" it continued.
"Your face is a tughuzaj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, mean creature; he was feeling unusually woozy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or bodyguard. If he had been carrying an assault rifle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Weinstein will be delighted to see you."
The creature swung slightly and hid. Then it rose up on its fluffy legs, puffed out its earlobe and proceeded lickety-split toward him.
For the first time, Luis had the urge to run, but his lip was melting and his legs refused to move.
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