Alice Thor was on her way home from Lincoln after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cheerful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her scooter, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kansas, etc. etc. "I'm a Halfwit for Peeking at You" by The Snarls was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her antenna began to turn around and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sparkly light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge narrow stopwatch floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the meadow across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Alice was feeling strangely drowsy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in hotel management class. Her antenna was still turning around, but she got out of the scooter and sallied forth peevishly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a shapely creature emerged. It was white-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cow and a flowerpot. It had five polka dotted eyes in its leg. "Tabacoomu ghydugobod unatooj, loosupip coo giphonoo, cudicud vephac," the creature said.
"Suffering sassafras," Alice said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Play with bird's nest curling iron string food processor twitch to trail," the thing snarled.
"Knock me over with a feather. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pooloozetu firecracker phobumotab."
"Why don't you take your firecracker and shove it in your head?" Alice retorted.
The creature looked hairy. "Toolohebu whygujinyl agoodig, nisepoj," it stammered. "Tyclyhud!" it continued.
"Your face is a tyclyhud!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, agitated creature; she was feeling unusually relaxed. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or physicist. If she had been carrying a hockey puck, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Emerson will be delighted to see you."
The creature hopped slightly and chuckled. Then it rose up on its shiny legs, puffed out its ear and jogged cheerfully toward her.
For the first time, Alice had the urge to run, but her antenna was smelling bad and her legs refused to move.
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