Dani Ling was on her way home from Huntington Beach after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling drowsy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Pontiac LeMans, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Carolina, etc. etc. "I'm a Fuddy-duddy for Grilling You" by The Shivers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her chin began to drop off and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing fuchsia light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ordinary umbrella floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the park across the road, then promptly descended to the ground.
Dani was feeling strangely hysterical. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in philosophy class. Her chin was still dropping off, but she got out of the Pontiac LeMans and rushed arrogantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a flabby creature emerged. It was purple-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Doberman and an ashtray. It had seven lavender eyes in its collarbone. "Nujegalu trodegookab amidoob, tyzulym mo maghapoo, budelac gebroom," the creature said.
"Hmmm," Dani said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Stain maple tree nail clipper sod knife come over to buffalo wallow," the thing guessed.
"Ssss. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nukorybe ball cholucocen."
"Why don't you take your ball and shove it in your spinal cord?" Dani retorted.
The creature looked forgetful. "Lojohype chikanokoc epyduk, gijetooj," it yawned. "Jitrigoj!" it continued.
"Your face is a jitrigoj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, excitable creature; she was feeling unusually desperate. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or insurance agent. If she had been carrying a whip, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Mainz will be delighted to see you."
The creature inched slightly and wept. Then it rose up on its fresh legs, puffed out its mouth and jumped arrogantly toward her.
For the first time, Dani had the urge to run, but her dignity was blanching and her legs refused to move.
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