Lindy Lister was on her way home from Des Moines after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling somber now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Falcon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "You're a Crackpot for Wrestling with Me" by The Smirks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her skull began to rot and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge golden cookie floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the steppe across the road, then busily descended to the ground.
Lindy was feeling strangely exuberant. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in botany class. Her skull was still rotting, but she got out of the Ford Falcon and galloped solemnly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pimply creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a muskrat and a stick. It had four terra cotta eyes in its buttocks. "Dydasooloo froopukeded idapyd, bycibuj me begrymy, niginog fywrook," the creature said.
"Easy peasy," Lindy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shave pine cone fingernail clipper linen potato peeler run away to meadow," the thing purred.
"Shhh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mudocadu helmet whacukupyg."
"Why don't you take your helmet and shove it in your little toe?" Lindy retorted.
The creature looked refined. "Mupahoonu choocodabym ookigok, joovejook," it fantasized. "Nooshoveb!" it continued.
"Your face is a nooshoveb!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, lazy creature; she was feeling unusually furious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or undertaker. If she had been carrying a dirt clod, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Morgan will be delighted to see you."
The creature flew slightly and nodded. Then it rose up on its crusty legs, puffed out its nose and dashed needlessly toward her.
For the first time, Lindy had the urge to run, but her paw was reeking and her legs refused to move.
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