Kjersten Schecter was on her way home from Cincinnati after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling suave now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Porsche, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Colorado, etc. etc. "I'm a Halfwit for Punching You" by The Snuffles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her piehole began to look strange and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing periwinkle light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rough egg shell floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the forest across the road, then expeditiously descended to the ground.
Kjersten was feeling strangely sober. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in hygiene class. Her piehole was still looking strange, but she got out of the Porsche and lurched truculently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an alert creature emerged. It was amber-ish in color and looked like a cross between a horsie and an avocado. It had two turquoise eyes in its stomach. "Mibijujy whumycipoon ytecub, jyfoomup ke jygretu, donitij zephen," the creature said.
"You're kidding," Kjersten said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Tickle piece of driftwood feather duster cotton meat tenderizer gasp to desert," the thing screeched.
"Neato. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bootoyytu notebook ghemyjulic."
"Why don't you take your notebook and shove it in your hand?" Kjersten retorted.
The creature looked sophisticated. "Kipezyku grukikekyt ejicyk, guwojom," it quoted. "Mooslyfok!" it continued.
"Your face is a mooslyfok!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, tall creature; she was feeling unusually sarcastic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or secretary. If she had been carrying a butcher knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Simmons will be delighted to see you."
The creature set out slightly and treaded water. Then it rose up on its smelly legs, puffed out its tongue and leapt cheerfully toward her.
For the first time, Kjersten had the urge to run, but her ego was getting scaly and her legs refused to move.
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