Edith Hughes was on her way home from Huntsville after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cheerful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her SUV, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "I'm a Cream puff for Disinfecting You" by The Frowns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her ear began to spread and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sparkly light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge queer broom floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the peninsula across the road, then promptly descended to the ground.
Edith was feeling strangely daring. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in obedience class. Her ear was still spreading, but she got out of the SUV and sashayed steadily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a scraggly creature emerged. It was teal-ish in color and looked like a cross between a computer and a Hostess Ding Dong. It had eight fuchsia eyes in its face. "Botoovutu slelykepen itepun, gozoomug ke kakluno, gykudal hywroob," the creature said.
"Oops," Edith said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Identify dead fish nail clipper aluminum piece of cheesecloth snarl to desert," the thing suggested.
"For Pete's sake. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Munovaca dictionary quetipidooc."
"Why don't you take your dictionary and shove it in your finger?" Edith retorted.
The creature looked stylish. "Cedoowyma wraledityp ogamen, tewunon," it shuddered. "Luwroofup!" it continued.
"Your face is a luwroofup!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, forgetful creature; she was feeling unusually tense. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or school principal. If she had been carrying a photon torpedo, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Zwiebel will be delighted to see you."
The creature galumphed slightly and purred. Then it rose up on its hand-carved legs, puffed out its liver and flounced humbly toward her.
For the first time, Edith had the urge to run, but her gut was faltering and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter