Jordan Noon was on his way home from Tampa after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling queer now that the meetings were over. He was driving his hot dog cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arkansas, etc. etc. "I'm a Peabrain for Teasing You" by The Smirks was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his toupee began to turn blue and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing turquoise light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge luxurious coin floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dumpster across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Jordan was feeling strangely fearless. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in mechanical engineering class. His toupee was still turning blue, but he got out of the hot dog cart and padded boldly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gorgeous creature emerged. It was khaki-ish in color and looked like a cross between a ferret and a hammer. It had eight olive drab eyes in its heart. "Gyloogany brenidajyp ykynoon, jayoopoop no noofrugoo, digoomyt sooklon," the creature said.
"Holy Mother of Petunias," Jordan said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Chop egg shell nail clipper straw wooden spoon clap to gulch," the thing giggled.
"Moo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mootozage ping-pong paddle ghumalamid."
"Why don't you take your ping-pong paddle and shove it in your brain?" Jordan retorted.
The creature looked sketchy. "Judogoony quineloopog ucujeb, mojugac," it rumored. "Dadrucid!" it continued.
"Your face is a dadrucid!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, careful creature; he was feeling unusually muddled. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or pawnbroker. If he had been carrying a dagger, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Glidden will be delighted to see you."
The creature lurched slightly and chanted. Then it rose up on its waxy legs, puffed out its mouth and lurched carefully toward him.
For the first time, Jordan had the urge to run, but his back was rising and his legs refused to move.
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