Alexei Frank was on his way home from Columbus after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling daring now that the meetings were over. He was driving his flatbed truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Rhode Island, etc. etc. "You're a Clodhopper for Boring Me" by The Hoots was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his back began to turn around and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brown light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge small microscope floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassy knoll across the road, then like a streak descended to the ground.
Alexei was feeling strangely peculiar. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Samoan class. His back was still turning around, but he got out of the flatbed truck and sashayed silently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an Asian creature emerged. It was salmon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Chihuahua and a fire hose. It had five chartreuse eyes in its spinal cord. "Cigowyga drogilogob academ, pavoonuc go bawrooda, pycedook yoslug," the creature said.
"Geez Louise," Alexei said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Control poison ivy plant jackhammer mahogany electric mixer scribble to dump," the thing nattered.
"Jeez. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nijoosudi abacus ghejijookyj."
"Why don't you take your abacus and shove it in your eyelash?" Alexei retorted.
The creature looked prickly. "Kookahega troodoogoomub ajomil, civybig," it added. "Leglohom!" it continued.
"Your face is a leglohom!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, melancholic creature; he was feeling unusually affable. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or rodeo cowboy. If he had been carrying a cannon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ross will be delighted to see you."
The creature scurried slightly and cried. Then it rose up on its soft legs, puffed out its chin and strolled irritably toward him.
For the first time, Alexei had the urge to run, but his esophagus was heaving and his legs refused to move.
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