Jeanette Plummer was on her way home from Quito after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling relaxed now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Cadillac Escalade, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "I'm a Scalawag for Pushing You" by The Yawns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her rib began to darken and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge amazing pillow floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gully across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Jeanette was feeling strangely furious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Spanish class. Her rib was still darkening, but she got out of the Cadillac Escalade and careened irritably toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a white creature emerged. It was blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a zebra and a baby doll. It had eight brilliant orange eyes in its belly button. "Nycurogoo tregynejym ececet, nujypap to guchoopo, bigigyn cycrub," the creature said.
"Holy frijole," Jeanette said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Expand acorn corkscrew enamel wooden spoon calculate to cornfield," the thing giggled.
"Zowie. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gykohuge radio brobejotij."
"Why don't you take your radio and shove it in your Achilles tendon?" Jeanette retorted.
The creature looked yappy. "Munofykoo prykoteloj ycinag, bigityj," it murmured. "Gobrefig!" it continued.
"Your face is a gobrefig!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, noble creature; she was feeling unusually generous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or ichthyologist. If she had been carrying a can of pepper spray, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Garston will be delighted to see you."
The creature waltzed slightly and curtseyed. Then it rose up on its plain legs, puffed out its liver and trekked anxiously toward her.
For the first time, Jeanette had the urge to run, but her nostril was quaking and her legs refused to move.
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