Carol Patterson was on her way home from Omaha after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tipsy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her transporter, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Jersey, etc. etc. "I'm a Big oaf for Escaping from You" by The Hugs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her dignity began to cool down and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jet black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge chic hair brush floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the moonscape across the road, then sluggishly descended to the ground.
Carol was feeling strangely sarcastic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in constitutional law class. Her dignity was still cooling down, but she got out of the transporter and sidled carelessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a chubby creature emerged. It was purple-ish in color and looked like a cross between a snipe and a can of sardines. It had seven beige eyes in its claw. "Kydicooby wremukubin ydoguc, kazoojap be liwhuboo, gamunan roofrol," the creature said.
"Pssst," Carol said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Understand stick woodworker's clamp root Sham-Wow! snort to rainforest," the thing imitated.
"Ha-ha. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pidivani can of soup cloodijojin."
"Why don't you take your can of soup and shove it in your eyebrow?" Carol retorted.
The creature looked sanguine. "Kikywuti klygokigooj oletooc, kyjicyd," it implored. "Boflooyak!" it continued.
"Your face is a boflooyak!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, intrepid creature; she was feeling unusually tipsy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or miner. If she had been carrying a scythe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President MacIntire will be delighted to see you."
The creature tumbled slightly and flinched. Then it rose up on its plastic legs, puffed out its skull and flew intensely toward her.
For the first time, Carol had the urge to run, but her hand was ossifying and her legs refused to move.
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