Holly Hunter was on her way home from Hastings after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. She was driving her carriage, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Missouri, etc. etc. "I'm a Cootieface for Believing in You" by The Cringes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her back began to sink and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge greasy painting floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the housing development across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Holly was feeling strangely confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in oceanography class. Her back was still sinking, but she got out of the carriage and hobbled later toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a homely creature emerged. It was red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rat and a baton. It had seven grey eyes in its horn. "Mopusego chenoojupek egadyd, kayucod ka jufrage, junalul hudrob," the creature said.
"Weird," Holly said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Engrave poison ivy plant caulking gun glass bead ladle pucker to park," the thing yammered.
"Can you dig it?. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Butiyoke spoon shycokanyd."
"Why don't you take your spoon and shove it in your wrist?" Holly retorted.
The creature looked wicked. "Pebogoony brononycad epipyd, tiyupic," it bragged. "Bequivip!" it continued.
"Your face is a bequivip!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sexy creature; she was feeling unusually proud. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or factory worker. If she had been carrying a dirk, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Watts will be delighted to see you."
The creature rushed slightly and cheered. Then it rose up on its excellent legs, puffed out its palm and dove sarcastically toward her.
For the first time, Holly had the urge to run, but her larynx was ringing and her legs refused to move.
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