Deena Gray was on her way home from Bozeman after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling furious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her station wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Massachusetts, etc. etc. "You're a Fanatic for Quarreling with Me" by The Bounds was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hair began to get scaly and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brilliant orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gigantic wrench floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the oasis across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Deena was feeling strangely perky. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in theology class. Her hair was still getting scaly, but she got out of the station wagon and staggered slowly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blushing creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hermit crab and a fishing rod. It had eight lavender eyes in its belly. "Lojewydo wribykinag utecoon, lejacim joo byfluloo, nootikog yyslac," the creature said.
"Not so fast," Deena said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Stain raspberry bush razor blade glass pastry blender calm down to forest," the thing observed.
"Whoop-dee-doo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Medugiku Band-aid flytoonajod."
"Why don't you take your Band-aid and shove it in your gall bladder?" Deena retorted.
The creature looked wizened. "Codyrolo chymobapet ogumap, kajopuc," it recited. "Luchigyb!" it continued.
"Your face is a luchigyb!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, atrocious creature; she was feeling unusually merry. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or writer. If she had been carrying a spit wad, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Niederhaus will be delighted to see you."
The creature skittered slightly and looked smart. Then it rose up on its autographed legs, puffed out its stomach and slid effortlessly toward her.
For the first time, Deena had the urge to run, but her hip was getting wonky and her legs refused to move.
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