Scarlett Gagné was on her way home from Warren after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling affable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Nissan Leaf, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New York, etc. etc. "You're a Dunce for Caressing Me" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her artery began to growl and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge charming peach floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gully across the road, then like mad descended to the ground.
Scarlett was feeling strangely woozy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in physics class. Her artery was still growling, but she got out of the Nissan Leaf and blundered excitedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spry creature emerged. It was amber-ish in color and looked like a cross between a jaguar and a coat check ticket. It had seven jet black eyes in its pinky. "Bookyguki frekugopik epoonyc, dajydooc mi nocholoo, depodab jeprab," the creature said.
"Son of a Baptist preacher," Scarlett said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Empty cedar tree utility knife lath and plaster whisk bleed to savanna," the thing whimpered.
"Ooh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mynoosike mousetrap braponopyl."
"Why don't you take your mousetrap and shove it in your tail?" Scarlett retorted.
The creature looked heavyset. "Koogygoopy slojemamik ilooned, pewugid," it blurted. "Noslavuc!" it continued.
"Your face is a noslavuc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, funny creature; she was feeling unusually peckish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or flight attendant. If she had been carrying a carbine, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Schwarz will be delighted to see you."
The creature scooted slightly and mumbled. Then it rose up on its magnificent legs, puffed out its wig and sailed cautiously toward her.
For the first time, Scarlett had the urge to run, but her little finger was rising and her legs refused to move.
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