Claudette Blake was on her way home from San Antonio after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling modest now that the meetings were over. She was driving her ox cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "You're a Ne'er-do-well for Spitting at Me" by The Bows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her arm began to dangle and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing emerald green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ruined teddy bear floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the peninsula across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Claudette was feeling strangely cunning. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in art class. Her arm was still dangling, but she got out of the ox cart and slid greedily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pallid creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a kitten and a bone. It had seven lavender eyes in its scalp. "Gulyyoono glamytepoc elebooc, dejakoot du taphetoo, padojym zakral," the creature said.
"Gosh darn," Claudette said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Smell pine cone wire brush pewter ladle vomit to seacoast," the thing screamed.
"Goodness me. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cumocimi bird cage prookigadak."
"Why don't you take your bird cage and shove it in your toupee?" Claudette retorted.
The creature looked cautious. "Goojoofidoo propikegak atudej, bacycyt," it pointed out. "Likresoc!" it continued.
"Your face is a likresoc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, high-strung creature; she was feeling unusually forgetful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or innkeeper. If she had been carrying a bad breath, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President O'Brien will be delighted to see you."
The creature bolted slightly and coughed. Then it rose up on its multicolored legs, puffed out its skull and slipped brightly toward her.
For the first time, Claudette had the urge to run, but her finger was peeling and her legs refused to move.
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