Frances Cruz was on her way home from Tokyo after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling drowsy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ferrari, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Jersey, etc. etc. "I'm a Good-for-nothing for Pulverizing You" by The Smacks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her paw began to bulge and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hand-painted bottle of painkillers floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the steppe across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Frances was feeling strangely stubborn. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in nutrition class. Her paw was still bulging, but she got out of the Ferrari and stalked cautiously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a wizened creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a porcupine and a plaque. It had five yellow eyes in its forehead. "Gaboofoota quejybutum etojoot, lefakyj lu nothini, goojogal sucron," the creature said.
"At last," Frances said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hide pine cone blow torch axle grease Sham-Wow! relax to housing development," the thing blathered.
"Jiminy crickets. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bomeyomu hand puppet planigydool."
"Why don't you take your hand puppet and shove it in your tummy?" Frances retorted.
The creature looked emotional. "Dogohyko tricajepuc ycopeg, magujok," it raved. "Daquoosup!" it continued.
"Your face is a daquoosup!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, freakish creature; she was feeling unusually thoughtful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or gambler. If she had been carrying a hedge trimmer, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Whitlock will be delighted to see you."
The creature trotted slightly and went limp. Then it rose up on its jagged legs, puffed out its beard and strode brashly toward her.
For the first time, Frances had the urge to run, but her claw was undulating and her legs refused to move.
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