Arnold Frankowitz was on his way home from Tokyo after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling dapper now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Toyota Camry, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Missouri, etc. etc. "I'm a Bumpkin for Chasing You" by The Caresses was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his kidney began to cramp and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing yellow light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ruined paper towel floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the creek across the road, then speedily descended to the ground.
Arnold was feeling strangely puzzled. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Esperanto class. His kidney was still cramping, but he got out of the Toyota Camry and traipsed violently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gaunt creature emerged. It was blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Chihuahua and a spider. It had two crimson eyes in its belly. "Dubijanoo quoopoojunim upunyl, moowopyn ka typhody, tidocul vutrab," the creature said.
"OMG," Arnold said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Overturn tree branch flashlight fabric strainer run away to briar patch," the thing offered.
"Hallelujah. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Medocope water bottle greloocacek."
"Why don't you take your water bottle and shove it in your pituitary gland?" Arnold retorted.
The creature looked precocious. "Boodazoolo glagoopeduj ibipog, mirocam," it commented. "Guklewip!" it continued.
"Your face is a guklewip!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, careful creature; he was feeling unusually lazy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or ice skater. If he had been carrying a Taser, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tran will be delighted to see you."
The creature strolled slightly and dilly-dallied. Then it rose up on its loose legs, puffed out its hair and sidled pitifully toward him.
For the first time, Arnold had the urge to run, but his dignity was radiating and his legs refused to move.
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