Drover Novak was on his way home from Shanghai after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. He was driving his tractor, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "I'm a Cretin for Losing You" by The Sneezes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his wrist began to shed and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sea green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge puzzling acorn floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the neighborhood across the road, then leadenly descended to the ground.
Drover was feeling strangely awkward. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in molecular biology class. His wrist was still shedding, but he got out of the tractor and stalked energetically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a nervous creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between an otter and a potato. It had five crimson eyes in its tail. "Kagerebo prebibybeb oogopam, kesitic boo kokrape, mutalij rooclil," the creature said.
"Congratulations," Drover said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Reinforce weed blow torch snow paring knife pace to forest," the thing observed.
"Oh joy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tidygudoo tissue shunoceden."
"Why don't you take your tissue and shove it in your hangnail?" Drover retorted.
The creature looked sloppy. "Poocuzoopa clucumukug upejib, byfoogooc," it reacted. "Loplufoob!" it continued.
"Your face is a loplufoob!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, considerate creature; he was feeling unusually brave. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or housekeeper. If he had been carrying a blunderbuss, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gill will be delighted to see you."
The creature flew slightly and played Farmer in the Dell. Then it rose up on its disgusting legs, puffed out its thyroid gland and sashayed curiously toward him.
For the first time, Drover had the urge to run, but his hand was throbbing and his legs refused to move.
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