Oscar Quinlan was on his way home from Davenport after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling distressed now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Plymouth, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "You're a Dodo for Trusting Me" by The Backward glances was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his midriff began to tighten up and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lavender light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge magnificent bag of popcorn floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountain across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
Oscar was feeling strangely modest. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in government class. His midriff was still tightening up, but he got out of the Plymouth and swaggered calmly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an olive creature emerged. It was periwinkle-ish in color and looked like a cross between a baboon and a pair of pliers. It had five black eyes in its neck. "Dinysubo brupilapik okegop, bywyteb ca lootrita, lupidil yeclat," the creature said.
"Amen," Oscar said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Watch badger hole socket wrench tempered glass slotted spoon snuffle to mountaintop," the thing divulged.
"Alright. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pubyrooli spider klyputoojom."
"Why don't you take your spider and shove it in your tummy?" Oscar retorted.
The creature looked nervous. "Kanyzuco crybetenag icynij, lahenad," it avowed. "Gecroyom!" it continued.
"Your face is a gecroyom!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, haggard creature; he was feeling unusually peckish. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or dermatologist. If he had been carrying an épée, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hopkins will be delighted to see you."
The creature whirled slightly and puffed. Then it rose up on its original legs, puffed out its wig and sallied forth accidentally toward him.
For the first time, Oscar had the urge to run, but his vein was getting moist and his legs refused to move.
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