Linda Gare was on her way home from Joliet after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling relaxed now that the meetings were over. She was driving her covered wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Vermont, etc. etc. "I'm a Shyster for Blocking You" by The Twitches was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her lung began to heat up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lime-green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge cheap radio floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the prairie across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Linda was feeling strangely ambitious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in philosophy class. Her lung was still heating up, but she got out of the covered wagon and jumped daintily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blushing creature emerged. It was maroon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a walrus and a muffin. It had six indigo eyes in its larynx. "Bycujopoo quebibotub oogoonoob, mazadec tu pephydy, jotyjoom zaflooj," the creature said.
"Teehee," Linda said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hang egg shell powder puff block of ice electric paint mixer crouch to cesspool," the thing cackled.
"Geez Louise. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Joonewojo file folder quooloogootod."
"Why don't you take your file folder and shove it in your leg?" Linda retorted.
The creature looked dumb. "Kubiroja gloomipydol igepyt, befanid," it wondered. "Dochygog!" it continued.
"Your face is a dochygog!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, timid creature; she was feeling unusually pensive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or inventor. If she had been carrying a tennis racket, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Jackson will be delighted to see you."
The creature flounced slightly and gazed. Then it rose up on its stuffed legs, puffed out its spinal cord and crawled uselessly toward her.
For the first time, Linda had the urge to run, but her esophagus was hurting and her legs refused to move.
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