Nate Sekora was on his way home from Santa Clara after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling dapper now that the meetings were over. He was driving his convertible, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Pennsylvania, etc. etc. "I'm a Lamebrain for Tickling You" by The Guffaws was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his kidney began to pop and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing camouflage light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge magnificent box of candy floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pasture across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
Nate was feeling strangely generous. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in aeronautics class. His kidney was still popping, but he got out of the convertible and padded dolefully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a neat creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a nightingale and an arrowhead. It had five polka dotted eyes in its piehole. "Bocoosabo prydimumym enacob, noojonec pu kifleli, boodacug seplug," the creature said.
"Fiddlesticks," Nate said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pluck cactus pizza cutter banana leaves grater digest to bog," the thing yammered.
"Hello. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pujacony piece of candy shadonepyn."
"Why don't you take your piece of candy and shove it in your stomach?" Nate retorted.
The creature looked precocious. "Mikyzody crukoobutid ipomood, koohooduc," it hummed. "Goghyyob!" it continued.
"Your face is a goghyyob!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, rude creature; he was feeling unusually thoughtful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or shyster. If he had been carrying a ghetto blaster, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Blevins will be delighted to see you."
The creature lurched slightly and calmed down. Then it rose up on its hollow legs, puffed out its pituitary gland and crept glumly toward him.
For the first time, Nate had the urge to run, but his beard was getting sweaty and his legs refused to move.
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