So-Yeng Pimsleur was on her way home from Oceanside after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling merry now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Falcon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New York, etc. etc. "I'm an Oaf for Suspending You" by The Grimaces was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her bicep began to flake off and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chocolate brown light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bizarre roll of toilet paper floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hill across the road, then hastily descended to the ground.
So-Yeng was feeling strangely puzzled. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in musicianship class. Her bicep was still flaking off, but she got out of the Falcon and bounded merrily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an alert creature emerged. It was burgundy-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hamster and a fish. It had eight chartreuse eyes in its thigh. "Pumoovooli plukoolicoom oogacyb, jooyunob ji capryca, dapiloop yythec," the creature said.
"Holy mackerel," So-Yeng said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Re-evaluate raspberry bush hand saw cork egg cutter freak out to moonscape," the thing began.
"Diddly poo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dunuyiji candy cane slelygulyp."
"Why don't you take your candy cane and shove it in your belly?" So-Yeng retorted.
The creature looked fashionable. "Gagiseky kromudoonel ucoocol, ducajec," it protested. "Dytryzoon!" it continued.
"Your face is a dytryzoon!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, daring creature; she was feeling unusually distressed. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or parole officer. If she had been carrying a can of spray paint, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Baird will be delighted to see you."
The creature clambered slightly and got dizzy. Then it rose up on its stuffed legs, puffed out its belly button and stalked crossly toward her.
For the first time, So-Yeng had the urge to run, but her thyroid gland was jiggling and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter