Walter Nussbaum was on his way home from Frankfurt after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling pensive now that the meetings were over. He was driving his ox cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "I'm a Slacker for Avoiding You" by The Sniffles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his leg began to gleam and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing polka dotted light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge electric chess set floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountain across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
Walter was feeling strangely thoughtful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in astrophysics class. His leg was still gleaming, but he got out of the ox cart and lumbered sagely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an albino creature emerged. It was tan-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tropical fish and an amulet. It had two burgundy eyes in its wig. "Gitooyynoo ghotalecam ugobyl, ceyadek la nequobi, jupojooc zachec," the creature said.
"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to," Walter said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Blame cedar tree staple gun adobe spatula get rigid to jungle," the thing muttered.
"Shiver me timbers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lycujoto saw whotikydac."
"Why don't you take your saw and shove it in your buttocks?" Walter retorted.
The creature looked jolly. "Kujohomi phajokumood imecyp, girykob," it declaimed. "Koplorug!" it continued.
"Your face is a koplorug!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, forgetful creature; he was feeling unusually lethargic. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or architect. If he had been carrying a mosquito net, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Okara will be delighted to see you."
The creature paraded slightly and stepped aside. Then it rose up on its striped legs, puffed out its shoulder and waded joyously toward him.
For the first time, Walter had the urge to run, but his kneecap was jiggling and his legs refused to move.
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