Vernon Koch was on his way home from Rio de Janeiro after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling fearless now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Porsche 944, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "You're a Cootieface for Blocking Me" by The Glares was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his hoof began to come loose and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ornate piece of candy floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pond across the road, then briskly descended to the ground.
Vernon was feeling strangely merry. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in social studies class. His hoof was still coming loose, but he got out of the Porsche 944 and sidled blindly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bearded creature emerged. It was polka dotted-ish in color and looked like a cross between an antelope and a top. It had six amber eyes in its knuckle. "Byciyobu krudejumad ojecic, jujoonim de bookrodo, pibecyl yuflot," the creature said.
"Is that a fact," Vernon said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Swirl wildflower router chocolate bare foot turn blue to river," the thing requested.
"Dubious. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cooboogigo bag of groceries klelunapuk."
"Why don't you take your bag of groceries and shove it in your shin?" Vernon retorted.
The creature looked merry. "Pylireku pranootobek apibyg, jasepep," it instructed. "Tydrihit!" it continued.
"Your face is a tydrihit!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, enchanting creature; he was feeling unusually sober. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or actor. If he had been carrying a BB gun, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Talley will be delighted to see you."
The creature zipped slightly and puffed. Then it rose up on its crisp legs, puffed out its skull and strode valiantly toward him.
For the first time, Vernon had the urge to run, but his abdomen was reddening and his legs refused to move.
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