Iris Abrams was on her way home from Shreveport after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling resolute now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Honda Accord, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kentucky, etc. etc. "I'm a Bandicoot for Questioning You" by The Pouts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her little toe began to look funny and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brown light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge heavy painting floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the steppe across the road, then busily descended to the ground.
Iris was feeling strangely awkward. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in hotel management class. Her little toe was still looking funny, but she got out of the Honda Accord and sashayed sheepishly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an adorable creature emerged. It was brilliant orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a buffalo and a playing card. It had three ivory eyes in its rib. "Namuyipa wrybinagul ynoojid, jojydud na jishucoo, pitoodooc ryghic," the creature said.
"Ppppbbbft," Iris said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Photograph wolf track crowbar block of ice corkscrew get rigid to seacoast," the thing screamed.
"Umm. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kulyjyba pink flamingo klatujubip."
"Why don't you take your pink flamingo and shove it in your thigh?" Iris retorted.
The creature looked shy. "Nucifily prymymoogip atykab, macatip," it informed. "Dychewuc!" it continued.
"Your face is a dychewuc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, adorable creature; she was feeling unusually cunning. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or clown. If she had been carrying a Nerf bat, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Esposito will be delighted to see you."
The creature barrelled slightly and fretted. Then it rose up on its greasy legs, puffed out its artery and sailed mysteriously toward her.
For the first time, Iris had the urge to run, but her knee was rolling and her legs refused to move.
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