Kathryn Freeman was on her way home from Poughkeepsie after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lethargic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Trans Am, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Vermont, etc. etc. "You're a Drip for Remembering Me" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her skull began to writhe and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge old grease gun floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cornfield across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Kathryn was feeling strangely peckish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in subtraction class. Her skull was still writhing, but she got out of the Trans Am and rolled hungrily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a disheveled creature emerged. It was khaki-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tsetse fly and an artificial flower. It had six khaki eyes in its esophagus. "Bobazoobe grotyjookij omygec, lozulyn du pugreci, kylabat cyquoc," the creature said.
"Yowee," Kathryn said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Copy tree stump hacksaw gold brick whisk wobble to desert," the thing interpreted.
"Tarnation. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Botiwoci pair of knitting needles brylybutyk."
"Why don't you take your pair of knitting needles and shove it in your ego?" Kathryn retorted.
The creature looked anemic. "Cemawute quikoobocooc oobobek, cyyegooj," it insisted. "Nogrufut!" it continued.
"Your face is a nogrufut!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, frightened creature; she was feeling unusually funny. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or school principal. If she had been carrying a disarming smile, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Stephens will be delighted to see you."
The creature strolled slightly and typed. Then it rose up on its stiff legs, puffed out its shoulder and rushed anxiously toward her.
For the first time, Kathryn had the urge to run, but her jaw was feeling heavy and her legs refused to move.
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