Kim Weatherford was on her way home from Fargo after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling fiendish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her hot dog cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Vermont, etc. etc. "You're a Big oaf for Quieting Me" by The Air kisses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her knuckle began to cramp and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lime-green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge flaky sea shell floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountaintop across the road, then promptly descended to the ground.
Kim was feeling strangely tipsy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in statistics class. Her knuckle was still cramping, but she got out of the hot dog cart and galloped daintily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a frizzle-headed creature emerged. It was scarlet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tsetse fly and a dog collar. It had four teal eyes in its tongue. "Katahacoo kritoomyjoon ocoogek, toofookik ga toploni, cygycam heslep," the creature said.
"Feh," Kim said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Admire flower wrench rolled oat dull knife frown to countryside," the thing called.
"LOL. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Ladozypu key brygoodamej."
"Why don't you take your key and shove it in your gall bladder?" Kim retorted.
The creature looked articulate. "Lepawoty slakitycoom itedud, mosajab," it phrased. "Noprifon!" it continued.
"Your face is a noprifon!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, stubby creature; she was feeling unusually exuberant. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or page. If she had been carrying a ukulele, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Walker will be delighted to see you."
The creature ambled slightly and shook. Then it rose up on its puzzling legs, puffed out its ego and waded openly toward her.
For the first time, Kim had the urge to run, but her chin was growing pale and her legs refused to move.
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