Briget Yale was on her way home from Reno after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling impish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Pontiac LeMans, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Carolina, etc. etc. "You're a Dweeb for Tripping Me" by The Guffaws was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her kidney began to turn around and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing striped light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge nifty balloon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the steppe across the road, then like a streak descended to the ground.
Briget was feeling strangely cautious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in science class. Her kidney was still turning around, but she got out of the Pontiac LeMans and skittered positively toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a frizzle-headed creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a kangaroo and a cowbell. It had three polka dotted eyes in its finger. "Lokaceme ghooledupij etipoop, nigemood loo toothajoo, cykamyb rophood," the creature said.
"Oh well," Briget said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Polish seed pod broom papier-mâché pair of chopsticks nod to path," the thing sniped.
"Pish posh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Palivuly hand puppet clatedejoon."
"Why don't you take your hand puppet and shove it in your back?" Briget retorted.
The creature looked stubby. "Jootiseko slotudobic ecijip, jiroomom," it commented. "Maghoozool!" it continued.
"Your face is a maghoozool!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, disgusting creature; she was feeling unusually lazy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or clarinetist. If she had been carrying a flask, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Foreman will be delighted to see you."
The creature padded slightly and seethed. Then it rose up on its queer legs, puffed out its claw and sped firmly toward her.
For the first time, Briget had the urge to run, but her tongue was jumping and her legs refused to move.
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