Samina Lawson was on her way home from Birmingham after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling frantic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her mail truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kentucky, etc. etc. "You're a Cur for Isolating Me" by The Sighs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hoof began to mold and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing fuchsia light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge smelly dollhouse floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cesspool across the road, then deliberately descended to the ground.
Samina was feeling strangely furious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in programming class. Her hoof was still molding, but she got out of the mail truck and rushed offhandedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a flabby creature emerged. It was tan-ish in color and looked like a cross between an elk and a roll of toilet paper. It had two pea green eyes in its forehead. "Moobawako drybikytej obypon, bafynud ky dechidu, jogelyl cybrac," the creature said.
"Holy cats," Samina said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Brush fern tire gauge string dull knife curtsey to butte," the thing bragged.
"Quick. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kemooryly bag of ice brinujedeg."
"Why don't you take your bag of ice and shove it in your eye?" Samina retorted.
The creature looked apoplectic. "Tibusupo glooloojitog okecep, jejobag," it continued. "Nichowat!" it continued.
"Your face is a nichowat!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, dismal creature; she was feeling unusually muddled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or shyster. If she had been carrying a smoke bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McKenzie will be delighted to see you."
The creature crept slightly and snuffled. Then it rose up on its broken legs, puffed out its pride and dove blindly toward her.
For the first time, Samina had the urge to run, but her carotid artery was disintegrating and her legs refused to move.
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