Robert McDonald was on his way home from Huntsville after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling confident now that the meetings were over. He was driving his delivery truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "I'm a Fiend for Attacking You" by The Flinchs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his eyeball began to go wild and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hefty backpack floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the country meadow across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Robert was feeling strangely hysterical. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in mechanical engineering class. His eyeball was still going wild, but he got out of the delivery truck and bounded ferociously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a small creature emerged. It was emerald green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lark and a pillow. It had five lime-green eyes in its toupee. "Dabifigi pleticycub enubyn, cyjoocim noo boprimi, gomoocod cyfrood," the creature said.
"Kaboom," Robert said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hide fish monkey wrench pewter garlic press sit still to grassy knoll," the thing shrieked.
"Zap. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tenujeco picture whoojugokuj."
"Why don't you take your picture and shove it in your palm?" Robert retorted.
The creature looked fierce. "Tobejady phononocag elapyd, bihinil," it concluded. "Lukrigid!" it continued.
"Your face is a lukrigid!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, merry creature; he was feeling unusually cantankerous. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or jeweler. If he had been carrying a pom-pom, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Koch will be delighted to see you."
The creature reeled slightly and coughed. Then it rose up on its smelly legs, puffed out its skin and lumbered sorrowfully toward him.
For the first time, Robert had the urge to run, but his thigh was twisting and his legs refused to move.
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