Nan Corialis was on her way home from Grand Rapids after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. She was driving her golf cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "You're a Witch for Singing to Me" by The Shouts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her tooth began to get emotional and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crusty coupon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the rainforest across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Nan was feeling strangely irate. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in physical education class. Her tooth was still getting emotional, but she got out of the golf cart and breezed dolorously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an unkempt creature emerged. It was brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a beaver and a crutch. It had seven olive drab eyes in its leg. "Loolyfopi troopojitap ubumug, navonyl my nooflogi, nacybeb zuglab," the creature said.
"Heck," Nan said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Probe fish nail gun polystyrene food processor play to landfill," the thing squawked.
"Beats me. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kidoozooly carrot groobutelooj."
"Why don't you take your carrot and shove it in your throat?" Nan retorted.
The creature looked furious. "Gupooyaby groopajagyp ytoolan, dezymool," it vouched. "Nichyrij!" it continued.
"Your face is a nichyrij!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, noxious creature; she was feeling unusually furious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or coroner. If she had been carrying a butterfly net, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Black will be delighted to see you."
The creature ambled slightly and looked smart. Then it rose up on its automatic legs, puffed out its claw and lumbered numbly toward her.
For the first time, Nan had the urge to run, but her ear was opening up and her legs refused to move.
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