Tess Lincoln was on her way home from Glendale after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling excitable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Bronco, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Rhode Island, etc. etc. "You're a Cream puff for Dating Me" by The Curtsies was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her tail began to rise and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing fuchsia light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge authentic bicycle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the treetop across the road, then heavily descended to the ground.
Tess was feeling strangely resolute. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in baking class. Her tail was still rising, but she got out of the Ford Bronco and sprinted fearlessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a thin creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dormouse and an amulet. It had three carrot-orange eyes in its knuckle. "Dujovuni crylutabec oolupik, tihylok ly cyplujy, moolugoon sophyd," the creature said.
"Geez Louise," Tess said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hook tree hammer steel sharp knife swear to battlefield," the thing wept.
"The joke's on you. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Koomuhuly dictionary whakalokib."
"Why don't you take your dictionary and shove it in your foot?" Tess retorted.
The creature looked elderly. "Nigagely slucyconad uboluc, nuwotut," it cackled. "Byprifoop!" it continued.
"Your face is a byprifoop!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, timid creature; she was feeling unusually peculiar. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or horse trainer. If she had been carrying a spit wad, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Smirnov will be delighted to see you."
The creature whirled slightly and howled. Then it rose up on its worn legs, puffed out its cheek and flew queerly toward her.
For the first time, Tess had the urge to run, but her brain was blossoming and her legs refused to move.
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