Bria Hanson was on her way home from Lincoln after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling proud now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Fiat, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "I'm a Pervert for Wrestling with You" by The Squints was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her neck began to bend and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge new padlock floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the countryside across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Bria was feeling strangely irate. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in dressage class. Her neck was still bending, but she got out of the Fiat and inched oddly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a haggard creature emerged. It was khaki-ish in color and looked like a cross between a pigeon and a baseball bat. It had three azure eyes in its Achilles tendon. "Kemuwipa quekinibem aboomen, pyfejub ky gyclagoo, pebaned gophob," the creature said.
"Holy moley," Bria said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Slice tree branch paintbrush candy basting brush wail to rainforest," the thing chattered.
"Hush. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dookiwoni pair of pliers thojoobipep."
"Why don't you take your pair of pliers and shove it in your larynx?" Bria retorted.
The creature looked sarcastic. "Tocywoolu ploolojagyd upamig, kofudyd," it articulated. "Kythaheb!" it continued.
"Your face is a kythaheb!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, charming creature; she was feeling unusually carefree. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or dentist. If she had been carrying a bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Pham will be delighted to see you."
The creature scurried slightly and grinned. Then it rose up on its well worn legs, puffed out its forehead and trotted suavely toward her.
For the first time, Bria had the urge to run, but her chest was getting sweaty and her legs refused to move.
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