Freddie Dalton was on his way home from San Angelo after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling humble now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Volkswagon Golf, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "I'm a Simpleton for Aweing You" by The Power fists was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his eyelash began to twitch and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing metallic red light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crooked flash drive floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lagoon across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Freddie was feeling strangely muddled. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Puerto Rican history class. His eyelash was still twitching, but he got out of the Volkswagon Golf and barrelled obediently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a good looking creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between an eel and a paintbrush. It had four aquamarine eyes in its scalp. "Pynorunoo trujatitag umiboog, noovupoog to duglede, molamool ryclak," the creature said.
"Shazam," Freddie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hide maple tree sponge beeswax pair of chopsticks calculate to desert," the thing blurted.
"Idiot. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mupoozyma toilet plunger flubookyjom."
"Why don't you take your toilet plunger and shove it in your heel?" Freddie retorted.
The creature looked arrogant. "Mocuweni shepygidoc ydodan, payykom," it griped. "Dichoocuj!" it continued.
"Your face is a dichoocuj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, garrulous creature; he was feeling unusually carefree. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or woodcarver. If he had been carrying an axe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McGill will be delighted to see you."
The creature staggered slightly and played Duck Duck Goose. Then it rose up on its hollow legs, puffed out its belly and reeled slyly toward him.
For the first time, Freddie had the urge to run, but his pancreas was closing down and his legs refused to move.
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