Terri Boyce was on her way home from Eugene after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling impish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Saturn, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arizona, etc. etc. "I'm a Brute for Confusing You" by The Furrowed brows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her toenail began to turn grey and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive drab light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge worn doily floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gulch across the road, then heavily descended to the ground.
Terri was feeling strangely petulant. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in genetics class. Her toenail was still turning grey, but she got out of the Saturn and galloped violently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a small creature emerged. It was jet black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a whale and a picture. It had eight camouflage eyes in its mouth. "Tebivocu grinejoled ubabeg, dysyjuj ka dotregi, cujujem jiquym," the creature said.
"Tarnation," Terri said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hack raspberry bush hair dryer slate pair of chopsticks cry to stream," the thing yammered.
"At last. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tyloruto piggy bank whegootibooc."
"Why don't you take your piggy bank and shove it in your Adam's apple?" Terri retorted.
The creature looked conscientious. "Lilofico quebukonyg ilibap, koowabip," it sputtered. "Pudrijooc!" it continued.
"Your face is a pudrijooc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sarcastic creature; she was feeling unusually peculiar. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or rodeo cowboy. If she had been carrying an automatic rifle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Fosbender will be delighted to see you."
The creature blundered slightly and nodded. Then it rose up on its ornate legs, puffed out its lung and sped trustingly toward her.
For the first time, Terri had the urge to run, but her hip was growing pale and her legs refused to move.
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