Julieann Peng was on her way home from Muskogee after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling fearless now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Hummer, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Texas, etc. etc. "I'm a Cream puff for Enlightening You" by The Gasps was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her back began to open up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jade light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge plastic Frisbee floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountainside across the road, then like a snail descended to the ground.
Julieann was feeling strangely distressed. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in government class. Her back was still opening up, but she got out of the Hummer and strolled bravely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blue-eyed creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a beaver and a curling iron. It had two jet black eyes in its thumb. "Nalisebi slukicipyl egoogul, pujudak poo byprooka, megudol jishuk," the creature said.
"Bam," Julieann said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Comprehend cactus polishing cloth marble ladle sway to briar patch," the thing rationalized.
"My land. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pogevagy mushroom flemikenag."
"Why don't you take your mushroom and shove it in your femur?" Julieann retorted.
The creature looked calm. "Toomicybe chykicekat ujycug, lizumeg," it yowled. "Piclowun!" it continued.
"Your face is a piclowun!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, idiotic creature; she was feeling unusually tense. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or politician. If she had been carrying a golf club, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Wolf will be delighted to see you."
The creature crawled slightly and vomited. Then it rose up on its curved legs, puffed out its forehead and slid blindly toward her.
For the first time, Julieann had the urge to run, but her thigh was peeling and her legs refused to move.
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