Madalyn Marks was on her way home from Toledo after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling excitable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevrolet Cavalier, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nebraska, etc. etc. "I'm a Shyster for Deceiving You" by The Belches was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her back began to get waxy and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing carrot-orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge wet pop bottle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the buffalo wallow across the road, then screamingly descended to the ground.
Madalyn was feeling strangely tipsy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in obedience class. Her back was still getting waxy, but she got out of the Chevrolet Cavalier and trotted crankily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an olive creature emerged. It was lavender-ish in color and looked like a cross between a frog and a yo-yo. It had three aquamarine eyes in its nostril. "Picihooba phodecikul oobepil, tevumen to depraco, tomooced cobreg," the creature said.
"Sacre bleu," Madalyn said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Describe deer track sand blaster cork meat thermometer cry to bog," the thing rationalized.
"Bilge. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lulywope brochure krobinytoon."
"Why don't you take your brochure and shove it in your tail?" Madalyn retorted.
The creature looked relaxed. "Paporade plenogumoot oonoobid, kuhykip," it sniped. "Coslujid!" it continued.
"Your face is a coslujid!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, serious creature; she was feeling unusually self-confident. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or lieutenant in the Albanian Scouts. If she had been carrying a hockey puck, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sarma will be delighted to see you."
The creature strolled slightly and fulminated. Then it rose up on its fabulous legs, puffed out its belly button and scooted dolorously toward her.
For the first time, Madalyn had the urge to run, but her dignity was aggravating and her legs refused to move.
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