Noah Seymour was on his way home from Lincoln after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling somber now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Hyundai Elantra, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "You're a Poopyhead for Agreeing with Me" by The Belches was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his liver began to gleam and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing periwinkle light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge smelly urn floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hillside across the road, then like a streak descended to the ground.
Noah was feeling strangely confident. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in deportment class. His liver was still gleaming, but he got out of the Hyundai Elantra and flounced trustingly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plain creature emerged. It was teal-ish in color and looked like a cross between a worm and a ski mask. It had five aqua eyes in its liver. "Lanegabe thoojukipun emimad, barutup moo puthula, ciboomot jydreb," the creature said.
"Blimey," Noah said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Catch cedar tree wire brush oak candy thermometer bawl to backyard," the thing squawked.
"Out of this world. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bicoojabe boomerang drugoomibim."
"Why don't you take your boomerang and shove it in your midriff?" Noah retorted.
The creature looked cantankerous. "Bojoohyky prytookacot ygybum, cuwugoog," it cried. "Cacrovaj!" it continued.
"Your face is a cacrovaj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, wicked creature; he was feeling unusually cautious. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or clockmaker. If he had been carrying a spit wad, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President German will be delighted to see you."
The creature scurried slightly and scribbled. Then it rose up on its nice legs, puffed out its horn and danced peevishly toward him.
For the first time, Noah had the urge to run, but his intestine was glistening and his legs refused to move.
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