Sydney Bruce was on her way home from Colorado Springs after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling self-assured now that the meetings were over. She was driving her van, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "You're a Dipstick for Betraying Me" by The Twitches was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her esophagus began to shine and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge important hubcap floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the glen across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Sydney was feeling strangely nervous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in health class. Her esophagus was still shining, but she got out of the van and lumbered firmly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a winsome creature emerged. It was red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a unicorn and a roll of toilet paper. It had six silver eyes in its elbow. "Degahypu broomukecyd enilip, tazonig ge dewrady, nunoomic vikrat," the creature said.
"Beshrew me," Sydney said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Re-evaluate piece of driftwood power washer corncob spatula exercise to gully," the thing burbled.
"Blah. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gokysolo stopwatch flekubonad."
"Why don't you take your stopwatch and shove it in your eye?" Sydney retorted.
The creature looked dignified. "Lycurenoo quekiputam oolibog, tavegyb," it whimpered. "Pathewej!" it continued.
"Your face is a pathewej!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, forgetful creature; she was feeling unusually sarcastic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or attorney. If she had been carrying a boomerang, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Shepard will be delighted to see you."
The creature ran slightly and did nothing. Then it rose up on its funny legs, puffed out its nose and bolted bitterly toward her.
For the first time, Sydney had the urge to run, but her earlobe was tormenting and her legs refused to move.
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