Scotty Rivera was on his way home from St. Louis after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling sober now that the meetings were over. He was driving his rocket, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Massachusetts, etc. etc. "You're a Ghoul for Annoying Me" by The Smacks was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his kidney began to get tired and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge dusty fork floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pasture across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Scotty was feeling strangely amiable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in storytelling class. His kidney was still getting tired, but he got out of the rocket and blundered carefully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bearded creature emerged. It was sparkly-ish in color and looked like a cross between a garter snake and a Kindle. It had five olive drab eyes in its palm. "Gilooramu shunajydyg oocenap, tazujob ku puchame, temoogij gowhoc," the creature said.
"Incredible," Scotty said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unfasten mushroom compass muslin melon baller belch to moonscape," the thing quoted.
"Nope. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tupazyme fountain pen gluminagyg."
"Why don't you take your fountain pen and shove it in your earlobe?" Scotty retorted.
The creature looked sensible. "Gumasoona whocedytuj oojydel, gajacuk," it gabbed. "Towhihyg!" it continued.
"Your face is a towhihyg!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, taciturn creature; he was feeling unusually forgetful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or bricklayer. If he had been carrying a smoke bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Craig will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and winked. Then it rose up on its slimy legs, puffed out its hand and breezed wildly toward him.
For the first time, Scotty had the urge to run, but his leg was getting emotional and his legs refused to move.
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