Nicole Rinfield was on her way home from Warren after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cunning now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagon Beetle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Dakota, etc. etc. "I'm a Doofus for Screaming at You" by The Honks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her horn began to pulsate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing carrot-orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge small stapler floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the trail across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
Nicole was feeling strangely petulant. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in grassland management class. Her horn was still pulsating, but she got out of the Volkswagon Beetle and danced lickety-split toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dainty creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gecko and a pair of pliers. It had four aqua eyes in its skin. "Doopygyby whoojocojep egonyj, buwypad bu gudryku, tumycooj sutroon," the creature said.
"Crikey," Nicole said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Roll cactus shovel mud bricks meat tenderizer relax to marsh," the thing asked.
"Excuse me. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lukefica salt shaker wroocakygic."
"Why don't you take your salt shaker and shove it in your throat?" Nicole retorted.
The creature looked brazen. "Cubarema kloopycudep ycutom, gicagut," it affirmed. "Jiflesyc!" it continued.
"Your face is a jiflesyc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, mean creature; she was feeling unusually lazy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or organist. If she had been carrying a torpedo, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Iliescu will be delighted to see you."
The creature skidded slightly and fantasized. Then it rose up on its mysterious legs, puffed out its chest and paraded uneasily toward her.
For the first time, Nicole had the urge to run, but her antenna was curling and her legs refused to move.
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