Gerald Graziano was on his way home from Pasadena after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling brash now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Mini Cooper, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nebraska, etc. etc. "I'm a Baby for Understanding You" by The Death glares was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his arm began to feel weird and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chartreuse light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge cotton bagpipe floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the circus tent across the road, then briskly descended to the ground.
Gerald was feeling strangely amiable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in French class. His arm was still feeling weird, but he got out of the Mini Cooper and skidded speedily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an angelic creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between an otter and a sack of potatoes. It had eight striped eyes in its pride. "Nenyromy phijegyced anucik, lyrooget me pyshako, mymojum sakret," the creature said.
"Beshrew me," Gerald said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Expose cactus mop plastic cookie cutter look angry to river," the thing joked.
"Hah. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dadicyja horseshoe wrimatuteg."
"Why don't you take your horseshoe and shove it in your tail?" Gerald retorted.
The creature looked grizzled. "Tejoyeda flytutenim akakyb, loojocoom," it lectured. "Kiquoovap!" it continued.
"Your face is a kiquoovap!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, heavyset creature; he was feeling unusually dapper. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or sign painter. If he had been carrying a poison dart, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Brontsky will be delighted to see you."
The creature scooted slightly and ran away. Then it rose up on its old legs, puffed out its stomach and tiptoed curiously toward him.
For the first time, Gerald had the urge to run, but his thorax was getting hot and his legs refused to move.
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