Kent Bean was on his way home from Elk Grove after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling sarcastic now that the meetings were over. He was driving his dump truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "I'm a Goon for Biting You" by The Glares was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his jaw began to feel weird and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing crimson light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge striking banana floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gully across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Kent was feeling strangely drowsy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in ciphering class. His jaw was still feeling weird, but he got out of the dump truck and slumped anxiously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an eye-catching creature emerged. It was white-ish in color and looked like a cross between a grasshopper and a Rubik's cube. It had four lavender eyes in its belly. "Gadivoobu drymobogyg ytoolig, carodan jo nuthyga, kajetoj wophoom," the creature said.
"For heaven's sake," Kent said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Ruin acorn jigsaw feather candy thermometer snarl to gulch," the thing sniffed.
"Holy buckets. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Luguhooby Hostess Ding Dong plokygitoog."
"Why don't you take your Hostess Ding Dong and shove it in your tooth?" Kent retorted.
The creature looked eccentric. "Nenocodoo ghimooliloot ootoojil, mevykoot," it blustered. "Mislufep!" it continued.
"Your face is a mislufep!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, powerful creature; he was feeling unusually cunning. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or undercover agent. If he had been carrying a Geiger counter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gunderson will be delighted to see you."
The creature padded slightly and got sleepy. Then it rose up on its well worn legs, puffed out its spinal cord and capered grudgingly toward him.
For the first time, Kent had the urge to run, but his fingernail was reddening and his legs refused to move.
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