Eleanor Stringer was on her way home from Norfolk after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling queer now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Suburu Forester, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Colorado, etc. etc. "You're a Thug for Screaming at Me" by The Tears was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her front tooth began to pulsate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lavender light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rough toilet plunger floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mesa across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Eleanor was feeling strangely carefree. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in constitutional law class. Her front tooth was still pulsating, but she got out of the Suburu Forester and sashayed temperamentally toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bedraggled creature emerged. It was salmon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a badger and a bone. It had three aquamarine eyes in its tummy. "Tykoofapi quonumonyj obogak, bojocul ga nephego, dutimoot fephic," the creature said.
"Get outta here," Eleanor said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shorten dead fish rasp dirt piece of cheesecloth huff to field," the thing pronounced.
"Blah. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jaloovemi roll of duct tape chagekugooj."
"Why don't you take your roll of duct tape and shove it in your dignity?" Eleanor retorted.
The creature looked proud. "Nigoovoce kradycujib ynucet, goocutit," it shrieked. "Cuklihud!" it continued.
"Your face is a cuklihud!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, cowardly creature; she was feeling unusually furious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or shyster. If she had been carrying a carbine, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Manley will be delighted to see you."
The creature capered slightly and played. Then it rose up on its smumpy legs, puffed out its leg and waded confidently toward her.
For the first time, Eleanor had the urge to run, but her back was looking funny and her legs refused to move.
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