Rhoda McCarthy was on her way home from Warren after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Pontiac Firebird, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "I'm an Old coot for Trusting You" by The Flushes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her thyroid gland began to sink and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing periwinkle light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hand-made chamber pot floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pond across the road, then chop-chop descended to the ground.
Rhoda was feeling strangely thoughtful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in archaeology class. Her thyroid gland was still sinking, but she got out of the Pontiac Firebird and inched trustingly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an undersized creature emerged. It was purple-ish in color and looked like a cross between a baboon and a soccer ball. It had three chartreuse eyes in its collarbone. "Mykiwuce frepalukem ypebyd, bocobom mi befluja, cebamad zopryn," the creature said.
"Ouch," Rhoda said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Puncture wildflower fire extinguisher money oven mitt gaze to outback," the thing sneered.
"Sweet. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kamivucu tote bag slitidootod."
"Why don't you take your tote bag and shove it in your tongue?" Rhoda retorted.
The creature looked powerful. "Dacizoodu sletoopakik atykool, dozyceb," it expressed. "Mophevog!" it continued.
"Your face is a mophevog!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, peculiar creature; she was feeling unusually amiable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or page. If she had been carrying a can of shaving cream, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Giordano will be delighted to see you."
The creature proceeded slightly and cheered. Then it rose up on its bulky legs, puffed out its heel and rolled steadily toward her.
For the first time, Rhoda had the urge to run, but her femur was snapping and her legs refused to move.
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