June Lamb was on her way home from Palmdale after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her convertible, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "You're a Bilge rat for Chatting with Me" by The Snickers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her esophagus began to enlarge and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge greasy stone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassland across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
June was feeling strangely self-confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in programming class. Her esophagus was still enlarging, but she got out of the convertible and capered unexpectedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tall creature emerged. It was brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a groundhog and a book. It had seven olive green eyes in its ankle. "Gobuvabu kloogygiboop ymocut, joofijob my goobroota, nepedoc zodril," the creature said.
"Fribblenootums," June said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Categorize fish nail gun ash foot pace to creek," the thing insisted.
"Bless you. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jabecoocu can of sardines crydotocoop."
"Why don't you take your can of sardines and shove it in your leg?" June retorted.
The creature looked cantankerous. "Likoyege quoodyjatap ookynoop, dezujec," it rumored. "Poghoogam!" it continued.
"Your face is a poghoogam!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, jolly creature; she was feeling unusually shy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or fortune teller. If she had been carrying a Bowie knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tooker will be delighted to see you."
The creature skipped slightly and chattered. Then it rose up on its plastic legs, puffed out its mouth and barrelled temperamentally toward her.
For the first time, June had the urge to run, but her palm was crackling and her legs refused to move.
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