Oscar Ferguson was on his way home from Pomona after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling selfish now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Volkswagon Beetle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "I'm a Knucklehead for Castigating You" by The Gasps was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his pituitary gland began to growl and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing periwinkle light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gaudy toilet seat floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seacoast across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Oscar was feeling strangely dapper. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in agriculture class. His pituitary gland was still growling, but he got out of the Volkswagon Beetle and pranced strangely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a well-built creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a newt and a pain pill. It had eight green eyes in its midriff. "Jumovune gleloopetyp olobul, bywacop tu bothena, dytoonok gaklut," the creature said.
"Roger that," Oscar said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fabricate fern cotton swab wool egg cutter mutter to countryside," the thing indicated.
"I'm so sure. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gotojane basket shypemakan."
"Why don't you take your basket and shove it in your earlobe?" Oscar retorted.
The creature looked gargantuan. "Kecyhade ghyjologyj ucepub, tazijun," it quoted. "Nocryzep!" it continued.
"Your face is a nocryzep!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, fierce creature; he was feeling unusually petulant. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or chief of police. If he had been carrying a sickle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Webb will be delighted to see you."
The creature stalked slightly and showed up. Then it rose up on its curved legs, puffed out its scalp and crept unnaturally toward him.
For the first time, Oscar had the urge to run, but his finger was rumbling and his legs refused to move.
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