Millie Cantrell was on her way home from Cologne after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sarcastic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her shopping cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "You're a Mush-for-brains for Avoiding Me" by The Beams was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her appendix began to cramp and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jet black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge old cage floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the butte across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Millie was feeling strangely fearless. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in deportment class. Her appendix was still cramping, but she got out of the shopping cart and ran coolly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spry creature emerged. It was salmon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a porcupine and a barbell. It had four maroon eyes in its eyeball. "Tukafamoo phibokobot oomotit, cawedel tu tawheba, bunibyb highyn," the creature said.
"Aw," Millie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shoot sea shell protractor stardust garlic press rest to backyard," the thing pronounced.
"Zzzzz. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mytesodi chain whoobookymub."
"Why don't you take your chain and shove it in your heart?" Millie retorted.
The creature looked sweet. "Pomahoocoo flebimumot ybobum, cerucib," it explained. "Kowrereg!" it continued.
"Your face is a kowrereg!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, furious creature; she was feeling unusually muddled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or dermatologist. If she had been carrying a soldering iron, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ivanov will be delighted to see you."
The creature blundered slightly and sneered. Then it rose up on its torn legs, puffed out its Achilles tendon and leapt victoriously toward her.
For the first time, Millie had the urge to run, but her piehole was aggravating and her legs refused to move.
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