Shepard King was on his way home from Sacramento after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cantankerous now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Edsel, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "I'm a Whippersnapper for Grilling You" by The Sniffles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his kidney began to calcify and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing black light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge coarse shovel floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the ridge across the road, then like mad descended to the ground.
Shepard was feeling strangely crafty. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in hair dressing class. His kidney was still calcifying, but he got out of the Edsel and rushed bravely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plain creature emerged. It was violet-ish in color and looked like a cross between an eel and a clarinet. It had five yellow eyes in its chest. "Tookorunoo britagypit okokig, toosonood tu dyghoco, nebutood yacred," the creature said.
"Ssss," Shepard said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Catch piece of bark utility knife wire corkscrew doodle to ridge," the thing shouted.
"Isht. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jabuyuda dictionary krigoguteg."
"Why don't you take your dictionary and shove it in your adrenal gland?" Shepard retorted.
The creature looked forgetful. "Putosapy glojukikid anoopam, negonun," it sniveled. "Katrooyic!" it continued.
"Your face is a katrooyic!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, beautiful creature; he was feeling unusually peculiar. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or woodworker. If he had been carrying a Colt 45, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Rush will be delighted to see you."
The creature dove slightly and looked dumb. Then it rose up on its stiff legs, puffed out its hand and struggled humbly toward him.
For the first time, Shepard had the urge to run, but his hair was cramping and his legs refused to move.
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