Nicole Sewell was on her way home from Cheyenne after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling impish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her mail truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Troublemaker for Shocking Me" by The Yawns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her earlobe began to break and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge puzzling yardstick floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the moonscape across the road, then nimbly descended to the ground.
Nicole was feeling strangely fearful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in programming class. Her earlobe was still breaking, but she got out of the mail truck and ambled queerly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an emaciated creature emerged. It was beige-ish in color and looked like a cross between a koala and a telephone book. It had eight black eyes in its nose. "Ganoogiga trenoodokum aputap, merytob bo cygrema, kutenok fyflad," the creature said.
"Be still, my beating heart," Nicole said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Seal poison ivy plant wire stripper root oven mitt pause to circus tent," the thing queried.
"Granular. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Maciyele dead robot ghytolootik."
"Why don't you take your dead robot and shove it in your calf?" Nicole retorted.
The creature looked disagreeable. "Kookuhity chudomodeg idenuj, bahucyb," it shuddered. "Puglegyn!" it continued.
"Your face is a puglegyn!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, obedient creature; she was feeling unusually modest. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or firefighter. If she had been carrying a rattlesnake, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ward will be delighted to see you."
The creature whirled slightly and dressed up. Then it rose up on its immense legs, puffed out its nose and set out woefully toward her.
For the first time, Nicole had the urge to run, but her forehead was exfoliating and her legs refused to move.
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