Kjersten Yale was on her way home from Oslo after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling selfish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Camaro, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "I'm an Oaf for Manipulating You" by The Sniggers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her little toe began to dry up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing fuchsia light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge torn telephone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the crime scene across the road, then busily descended to the ground.
Kjersten was feeling strangely irate. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in geography class. Her little toe was still drying up, but she got out of the Chevy Camaro and sallied forth proudly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sprightly creature emerged. It was aquamarine-ish in color and looked like a cross between an opossum and a bottle. It had eight pea green eyes in its toe. "Joonicudy slynogoonood etoocad, gusupep jo latrocoo, lekutooj suglyj," the creature said.
"Ooh," Kjersten said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Uncover weed sickle balsa garlic press sneeze to lakeside," the thing observed.
"Goodness. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kanoojoono cookie thipoobojyd."
"Why don't you take your cookie and shove it in your intestine?" Kjersten retorted.
The creature looked stubborn. "Nopifoodu wracebebyp iboonel, lysadud," it reminded. "Newhifoob!" it continued.
"Your face is a newhifoob!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, grizzled creature; she was feeling unusually timid. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or meteorologist. If she had been carrying a sling, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Nix will be delighted to see you."
The creature sped slightly and did the Hokey Pokey. Then it rose up on its ornate legs, puffed out its little toe and bounced jokingly toward her.
For the first time, Kjersten had the urge to run, but her aorta was bunching up and her legs refused to move.
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