Shelley Gleason was on her way home from Santa Clara after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling awkward now that the meetings were over. She was driving her ox cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kansas, etc. etc. "I'm a Snowflake for Thinking about You" by The Kisses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyeball began to fester and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing red light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hefty hair brush floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cesspool across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Shelley was feeling strangely somber. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in penmanship class. Her eyeball was still festering, but she got out of the ox cart and skittered firmly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an emaciated creature emerged. It was sea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a caribou and a stack of papers. It had four jade eyes in its waist. "Joberoky plapelykod itobog, caficap co maphyly, gonyloc hoplud," the creature said.
"Far out," Shelley said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Annoint raspberry bush panic button peanut shell wooden spoon applaud to badlands area," the thing blustered.
"Um. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lityvoope ping-pong paddle fregoocoogik."
"Why don't you take your ping-pong paddle and shove it in your heel?" Shelley retorted.
The creature looked bald. "Lamoojoocoo shocoonacub obinob, nuyekoj," it screeched. "Nutryheb!" it continued.
"Your face is a nutryheb!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, gentle creature; she was feeling unusually cautious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bassoonist. If she had been carrying a scimitar, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Workman will be delighted to see you."
The creature jogged slightly and bounced. Then it rose up on its queer legs, puffed out its claw and scurried demurely toward her.
For the first time, Shelley had the urge to run, but her spleen was perspiring and her legs refused to move.
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