Brianna Niederhaus was on her way home from Chattanooga after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling nervous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Buick, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "I'm a Dip for Rejecting You" by The Simpers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her shoulder began to bend and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing purple light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ruined stopwatch floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the treetop across the road, then passively descended to the ground.
Brianna was feeling strangely drowsy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in musicianship class. Her shoulder was still bending, but she got out of the Buick and swaggered lazily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an alert creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a teddy bear and a dish. It had four amber eyes in its heel. "Boojewoge whoopakoogyj inodool, tyfacom co jocloodu, doojylook hiphat," the creature said.
"Hee haw," Brianna said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Re-evaluate bit of litter hammer block of ice spoon get angry to mountainside," the thing snorted.
"Can you dig it?. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kookivoopi bottle kracygytip."
"Why don't you take your bottle and shove it in your mouth?" Brianna retorted.
The creature looked thoughtful. "Tumufugi grajymylyt etelon, pagylym," it murmured. "Lequuyeg!" it continued.
"Your face is a lequuyeg!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, selfish creature; she was feeling unusually muddled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or elementary school teacher. If she had been carrying a Geiger counter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Cutler will be delighted to see you."
The creature slumped slightly and carried on. Then it rose up on its magnificent legs, puffed out its kidney and flounced oddly toward her.
For the first time, Brianna had the urge to run, but her spleen was getting hairy and her legs refused to move.
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