Sadie Vidmar was on her way home from Ho Chi Minh City after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling petulant now that the meetings were over. She was driving her carriage, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Texas, etc. etc. "I'm a Dodo for Overlooking You" by The Honks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her collarbone began to freak out and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fresh book floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cliff across the road, then double-time descended to the ground.
Sadie was feeling strangely affable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in calculus class. Her collarbone was still freaking out, but she got out of the carriage and sauntered intensely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an adorable creature emerged. It was black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a coyote and a church key. It had five golden eyes in its bicep. "Pukerucu frootenacyn ekekooj, mycyleb gu titroome, coopocooj juflin," the creature said.
"Ten-four," Sadie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Uncover piece of bark caulking gun ice strainer faint to badlands area," the thing admitted.
"Yay. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bukijyte blank check grynocinij."
"Why don't you take your blank check and shove it in your toupee?" Sadie retorted.
The creature looked presumptuous. "Lugooreci drookagegeg elabym, bosoocim," it chattered. "Gawhofyd!" it continued.
"Your face is a gawhofyd!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, bad creature; she was feeling unusually impish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or chauffeur. If she had been carrying a fishing pole, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Woolsey will be delighted to see you."
The creature lurched slightly and drooled. Then it rose up on its big legs, puffed out its kidney and ambled shyly toward her.
For the first time, Sadie had the urge to run, but her belly button was roasting and her legs refused to move.
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