Edith Van Bloom was on her way home from Addis Ababa after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling brash now that the meetings were over. She was driving her MINI convertible, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Colorado, etc. etc. "You're a Hell-raiser for Seeing Me" by The Chuckles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her wrist began to get sweaty and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing indigo light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge cotton elephant tusk floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the briar patch across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Edith was feeling strangely humble. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in music theory class. Her wrist was still getting sweaty, but she got out of the MINI convertible and capered tensely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a thin creature emerged. It was fuchsia-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lobster and a suitcase. It had three olive green eyes in its rib. "Pylyzugu slopomoocob ybanyb, gajajooc doo moobroja, nudygood jutroj," the creature said.
"Yay," Edith said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Balance raspberry bush squeegee cinder block blender shrivel to cliff," the thing murmured.
"Alrighty-roo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Galejotoo ironing board slaloojakoob."
"Why don't you take your ironing board and shove it in your foot?" Edith retorted.
The creature looked brave. "Jodozuloo chodypoodep ipoocin, dovocyk," it intimated. "Koklefom!" it continued.
"Your face is a koklefom!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, frightened creature; she was feeling unusually timid. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or winemaker. If she had been carrying a butcher knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Wang will be delighted to see you."
The creature sidled slightly and grimaced. Then it rose up on its brightly-colored legs, puffed out its waist and jumped greedily toward her.
For the first time, Edith had the urge to run, but her leg was quaking and her legs refused to move.
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