Jolene Ortiz was on her way home from Scottsdale after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling nervous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Tennessee, etc. etc. "I'm a Screwball for Understanding You" by The Shouts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her thyroid gland began to growl and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing periwinkle light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gleaming model airplane floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the ridge across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Jolene was feeling strangely ambitious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Russian class. Her thyroid gland was still growling, but she got out of the Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow and skipped sarcastically toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bony creature emerged. It was burgundy-ish in color and looked like a cross between a robot and a smart phone. It had five red eyes in its eyelid. "Dobuzako chomenojel ycalol, pozymup boo tofluky, dogobyg fachyk," the creature said.
"Hush," Jolene said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bury fern rasp iron bare foot fret to oasis," the thing interpreted.
"Sacre bleu. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tylohykoo banana whokibekyl."
"Why don't you take your banana and shove it in your Achilles tendon?" Jolene retorted.
The creature looked dismal. "Boolyjytu cremegodoon ycyluk, jugucak," it divulged. "Gooquyhag!" it continued.
"Your face is a gooquyhag!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, jolly creature; she was feeling unusually fearful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or comedian. If she had been carrying a pair of scissors, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Brady will be delighted to see you."
The creature rushed slightly and hung around. Then it rose up on its musty legs, puffed out its arm and skittered automatically toward her.
For the first time, Jolene had the urge to run, but her horn was undulating and her legs refused to move.
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