Agnes Holt was on her way home from Lakewood after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cheerful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagon Golf, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Michigan, etc. etc. "You're a pair of knitting needles for Chatting with Me" by The Crows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her skull began to grow and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing periwinkle light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fancy backpack floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the canyon across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Agnes was feeling strangely daring. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in potty training class. Her skull was still growing, but she got out of the Volkswagon Golf and stalked recklessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an albino creature emerged. It was white-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cockatiel and a twig. It had seven blue eyes in its antenna. "Bakooyuju flybooludyn ybecal, jirupin moo toflube, gybikek zyclon," the creature said.
"Fine," Agnes said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Whip bird's nest jigsaw axle grease candy thermometer glare to ridge," the thing proposed.
"Jumpin’ Jehosaphat. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mebeyybe flag clalokokub."
"Why don't you take your flag and shove it in your cheek?" Agnes retorted.
The creature looked high-strung. "Bupucipoo fromajadyk amonuc, piyooduj," it yowled. "Pegrygyc!" it continued.
"Your face is a pegrygyc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, direct creature; she was feeling unusually petulant. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bicycle messenger. If she had been carrying a pom-pom, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tuttle will be delighted to see you."
The creature danced slightly and paced. Then it rose up on its electric legs, puffed out its fingernail and strode hysterically toward her.
For the first time, Agnes had the urge to run, but her big toe was lining up and her legs refused to move.
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