JD Kaplan was on his way home from Bucharest after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling self-assured now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Tesla Model S, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "You're a Dolt for Listening to Me" by The Power fists was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his vein began to sink and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sea green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge modern soccer ball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hill across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
JD was feeling strangely tipsy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Luxembourgan studies class. His vein was still sinking, but he got out of the Tesla Model S and sidled cautiously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sleek creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between a fox and a key ring. It had seven olive drab eyes in its calf. "Kanyjety quooludabog anatib, dygebun ca booquoogu, lynulood yopleb," the creature said.
"Heavens to murgatroyd," JD said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Flush apple tree lug wrench pillow wooden spoon sweat to prairie," the thing bragged.
"Granular. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Beciwone stapler frupylykep."
"Why don't you take your stapler and shove it in your skull?" JD retorted.
The creature looked disgusting. "Dydufike clynimookig apajaj, tawydym," it acknowledged. "Joochosil!" it continued.
"Your face is a joochosil!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, hairy creature; he was feeling unusually self-confident. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or archeologist. If he had been carrying a shoe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Campbell will be delighted to see you."
The creature rolled slightly and took a bath. Then it rose up on its sleek legs, puffed out its hip and lurched solemnly toward him.
For the first time, JD had the urge to run, but his spinal cord was roasting and his legs refused to move.
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