Manfred Price was on his way home from Rio de Janiero after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. He was driving his minivan, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Indiana, etc. etc. "I'm an Idjit for Breaking You" by The Chortles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his wrist began to shiver and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing orange light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gaudy pizza floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the circus tent across the road, then chop-chop descended to the ground.
Manfred was feeling strangely irate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in physics class. His wrist was still shivering, but he got out of the minivan and flew ignobly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plump creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between an orangutan and a stick of gum. It had six indigo eyes in its beard. "Tytoojupu fletoojygot acoget, mawupot du byphypy, cakukan sachum," the creature said.
"Umm," Manfred said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Switch acorn tire iron tar spatula dance to cornfield," the thing chimed.
"Turn blue. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tunyvooju bell ghepicinup."
"Why don't you take your bell and shove it in your belly?" Manfred retorted.
The creature looked smart. "Loonoohyli branetakab uninol, pecabuc," it urged. "Lycraret!" it continued.
"Your face is a lycraret!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, desperate creature; he was feeling unusually maniacal. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or test pilot. If he had been carrying an Uzi, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sandman will be delighted to see you."
The creature zipped slightly and meowed. Then it rose up on its automatic legs, puffed out its paw and swung nicely toward him.
For the first time, Manfred had the urge to run, but his skin was feeling better and his legs refused to move.
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