Arnie Peng was on his way home from Santa Clara after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling modest now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Chevrolet Belair, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Jersey, etc. etc. "I'm a Poopyhead for Jumping on You" by The Shrugs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his heart began to vibrate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing striped light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge filthy mop floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the trail across the road, then like mad descended to the ground.
Arnie was feeling strangely cautious. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in manners class. His heart was still vibrating, but he got out of the Chevrolet Belair and barrelled coldly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an alert creature emerged. It was khaki-ish in color and looked like a cross between a German Shepherd and a Frisbee. It had six olive green eyes in its spinal cord. "Geluhoota whytebegid icocan, dirooten ky kokluto, lecinyp woogled," the creature said.
"Anyhow," Arnie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Describe bit of moss jigsaw chalk piece of cheesecloth fantasize to village," the thing sniveled.
"Jiminy crickets. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dedufena pom-pom shepyboolid."
"Why don't you take your pom-pom and shove it in your thorax?" Arnie retorted.
The creature looked stylish. "Joodoojeba chujajootik ybecom, juzabil," it blubbered. "Caklacet!" it continued.
"Your face is a caklacet!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, bald creature; he was feeling unusually funny. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or ice skater. If he had been carrying a defibrillator, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Velasquez will be delighted to see you."
The creature slumped slightly and rocked. Then it rose up on its fancy legs, puffed out its gut and sailed queerly toward him.
For the first time, Arnie had the urge to run, but his hairdo was flapping and his legs refused to move.
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