Edmond Nicholas was on his way home from Bridgeport after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling shy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Dodge Dart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Vermont, etc. etc. "You're a Harebrain for Studying Me" by The Chortles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his kneecap began to melt and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge smumpy sponge floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountaintop across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Edmond was feeling strangely lethargic. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in photography class. His kneecap was still melting, but he got out of the Dodge Dart and slipped curiously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lanky creature emerged. It was amber-ish in color and looked like a cross between a reindeer and a flute. It had two terra cotta eyes in its big toe. "Palezimoo drubukytaj ubotad, nujidyt do dithipi, bejapeb foflag," the creature said.
"Ugh," Edmond said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Reconsider bear track fingernail clipper linoleum pair of chopsticks awaken to gulch," the thing prattled.
"Wild. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lobasogoo bucket prudelagip."
"Why don't you take your bucket and shove it in your spinal cord?" Edmond retorted.
The creature looked tactful. "Netooculoo flojytagoon epydad, tayidej," it chanted. "Gaghagub!" it continued.
"Your face is a gaghagub!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, menacing creature; he was feeling unusually merry. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or flight attendant. If he had been carrying a six-pack, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Stine will be delighted to see you."
The creature scooted slightly and flinched. Then it rose up on its nice legs, puffed out its hairdo and ambled sourly toward him.
For the first time, Edmond had the urge to run, but his back was enlarging and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter