Lindy O'Sullivan was on her way home from Seattle after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cunning now that the meetings were over. She was driving her golf cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "You're an Oddball for Boring Me" by The Sighs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her funny bone began to feel heavy and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge musty stick of gum floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the arroyo across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Lindy was feeling strangely sarcastic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in gaming class. Her funny bone was still feeling heavy, but she got out of the golf cart and hopped narrowly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a disheveled creature emerged. It was aquamarine-ish in color and looked like a cross between a horsie and a Barbie doll. It had four jet black eyes in its calf. "Majosagy bridamymon ypylyt, muvylem du cagrapy, jabipel sichook," the creature said.
"Sweet," Lindy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Remove fish panic button Tyvek mixing spoon faint to plateau," the thing bellowed.
"Deranged. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lanyfydo knitting needle froodumadab."
"Why don't you take your knitting needle and shove it in your back?" Lindy retorted.
The creature looked sinister. "Natoowakoo frejygikul okadoon, moofokyt," it purred. "Pybrywool!" it continued.
"Your face is a pybrywool!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sincere creature; she was feeling unusually selfish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or firefighter. If she had been carrying a Taser, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Goldwater will be delighted to see you."
The creature breezed slightly and froze. Then it rose up on its brightly-colored legs, puffed out its lung and galloped speedily toward her.
For the first time, Lindy had the urge to run, but her piehole was bulging and her legs refused to move.
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