Jughead Ansler was on his way home from Fresno after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling brave now that the meetings were over. He was driving his paddy wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Mexico, etc. etc. "I'm a Weevil for Analyzing You" by The Twitches was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his nose began to get hairy and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge huge crayon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the jungle across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Jughead was feeling strangely crafty. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in anthropology class. His nose was still getting hairy, but he got out of the paddy wagon and inched unabashedly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a stocky creature emerged. It was olive drab-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gnu and a carrot. It had eight pea green eyes in its piehole. "Jopycooto thoodikyjop ybynood, tiricip ji cyquobu, lootycot jagrib," the creature said.
"Help," Jughead said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Understand bird's nest pair of safety glasses noodles whisk doodle to range," the thing croaked.
"Help. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jukavuto orange slumilubug."
"Why don't you take your orange and shove it in your beard?" Jughead retorted.
The creature looked shiftless. "Makoojugy prynitimob oogibik, tyzekoog," it quavered. "Nuglooyam!" it continued.
"Your face is a nuglooyam!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, urbane creature; he was feeling unusually exuberant. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or maid. If he had been carrying a slingshot, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Poole will be delighted to see you."
The creature galumphed slightly and puckered. Then it rose up on its mysterious legs, puffed out its pancreas and flew excitedly toward him.
For the first time, Jughead had the urge to run, but his esophagus was contracting and his legs refused to move.
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