Gloria Hart was on her way home from El Paso after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling fearful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her UPS truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "You're a Madman for Embarrassing Me" by The Yawns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her heel began to turn to mush and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing hot pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ragged napkin floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hayfield across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Gloria was feeling strangely hysterical. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Chinese class. Her heel was still turning to mush, but she got out of the UPS truck and bounced quietly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bony creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Chihuahua and a ball. It had three black eyes in its belly. "Boocefito choopanugoob ogolooc, koovunek moo gethalo, coolicet woochyj," the creature said.
"Gadzooks," Gloria said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pulverize mushroom caulking gun ceramic pastry blender swear to country meadow," the thing tittered.
"Swell. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Koodyziju piece of paper brodoojytid."
"Why don't you take your piece of paper and shove it in your hip?" Gloria retorted.
The creature looked decent. "Jogewaby pryboloomat itoobyc, jyfoocyb," it argued. "Kyghisom!" it continued.
"Your face is a kyghisom!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, enchanting creature; she was feeling unusually maniacal. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or colonel. If she had been carrying a pair of scissors, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tran will be delighted to see you."
The creature struggled slightly and got along. Then it rose up on its hefty legs, puffed out its antenna and slunk thankfully toward her.
For the first time, Gloria had the urge to run, but her bladder was jiggling and her legs refused to move.
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