Mario Byers was on his way home from Salt Lake City after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling brave now that the meetings were over. He was driving his ice cream truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Carolina, etc. etc. "I'm a Fruitcake for Smiling at You" by The Snorts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his hair began to slip and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge heavy thumb drive floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mesa across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Mario was feeling strangely stubborn. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in physics class. His hair was still slipping, but he got out of the ice cream truck and dashed dreamily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a heavyset creature emerged. It was turquoise-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lamb and a cowbell. It had three brown eyes in its eyelid. "Nyloojoka glugumijep obatam, myrugoom tu todrooma, liconooj gywren," the creature said.
"For heaven's sake," Mario said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Extinguish mulberry tree air horn logs paring knife snicker to prairie," the thing continued.
"Sacre bleu. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mooloowemo doll thepigygyd."
"Why don't you take your doll and shove it in your tummy?" Mario retorted.
The creature looked affable. "Cymuvoodoo glacetejog acookal, bagocuc," it barked. "Cedrucog!" it continued.
"Your face is a cedrucog!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, gargantuan creature; he was feeling unusually brash. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or groundskeeper. If he had been carrying a weed whacker, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ibrahim will be delighted to see you."
The creature sped slightly and peeped. Then it rose up on its crisp legs, puffed out its skull and marched humbly toward him.
For the first time, Mario had the urge to run, but his dignity was darkening and his legs refused to move.
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