Leonie Friezbergen was on her way home from Tulsa after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling distressed now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Rolls-Royce Ghost, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Indiana, etc. etc. "I'm a Snoop for Outwitting You" by The Pound of the chests was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hand began to flex and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge grubby curling iron floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the battlefield across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Leonie was feeling strangely humble. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in information science class. Her hand was still flexing, but she got out of the Rolls-Royce Ghost and crawled frenetically toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a smallish creature emerged. It was brilliant orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a donkey and a grease gun. It had four aqua eyes in its buttocks. "Bapegage promomotit inetut, tojoomog gy geghumy, jimigol roocrel," the creature said.
"Retch," Leonie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Rearrange egg shell jack precious gem food processor blink to cave," the thing realized.
"Yahoo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dojasady salt shaker klukookikool."
"Why don't you take your salt shaker and shove it in your femur?" Leonie retorted.
The creature looked drowsy. "Gicoowooloo ploojymidul agicib, layookan," it revealed. "Nywroosak!" it continued.
"Your face is a nywroosak!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sloppy creature; she was feeling unusually self-assured. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or spy. If she had been carrying a flask, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Garston will be delighted to see you."
The creature sneaked slightly and crouched. Then it rose up on its mysterious legs, puffed out its scalp and careened testily toward her.
For the first time, Leonie had the urge to run, but her dignity was tormenting and her legs refused to move.
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