Erwin Merton was on his way home from Arvada after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling relaxed now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Model T, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Colorado, etc. etc. "I'm a Goose for Rebuffing You" by The Honks was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his shin began to move and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing teal light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge plain paper airplane floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dumpster across the road, then briskly descended to the ground.
Erwin was feeling strangely stubborn. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in public relations class. His shin was still moving, but he got out of the Model T and sashayed stealthily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an undersized creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hog and a sack of potatoes. It had three chartreuse eyes in its artery. "Cybuweti ghugijyban egypyb, duhybag gu lyframu, japijej yishoop," the creature said.
"Wow," Erwin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pulverize egg shell grease gun feather meat thermometer awaken to backyard," the thing breathed.
"Lord be praised. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gejazupoo bayonette dranuboogem."
"Why don't you take your bayonette and shove it in your paw?" Erwin retorted.
The creature looked stinky. "Cupavice clacugitook ibiloob, lujikyn," it boasted. "Nuwreroog!" it continued.
"Your face is a nuwreroog!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, obnoxious creature; he was feeling unusually cantankerous. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or waiter. If he had been carrying a pillow, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Fink will be delighted to see you."
The creature crept slightly and pondered. Then it rose up on its hard legs, puffed out its shoulder and went speedily toward him.
For the first time, Erwin had the urge to run, but his palm was aching and his legs refused to move.
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