Juanita Hayes was on her way home from Kiev after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tense now that the meetings were over. She was driving her taxi, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "You're a Stumblebum for Sneering at Me" by The Cackles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hand began to writhe and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aquamarine light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bulky fish bowl floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the landfill across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Juanita was feeling strangely amiable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in geneaology class. Her hand was still writhing, but she got out of the taxi and blundered sleepily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a wizened creature emerged. It was ivory-ish in color and looked like a cross between a canary and a cigarette lighter. It had six azure eyes in its bladder. "Gygehyke klajejocep ydetal, divookop by nooklugu, koomyman sywhub," the creature said.
"Uh-oh," Juanita said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hack flower shovel fairy dust corkscrew get dizzy to trail," the thing exclaimed.
"Poof. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nadecoby coconut pronomoneg."
"Why don't you take your coconut and shove it in your shoulder?" Juanita retorted.
The creature looked nervous. "Badoruti tridoopocun ootukoc, noyoonap," it growled. "Doobruwub!" it continued.
"Your face is a doobruwub!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, comely creature; she was feeling unusually proud. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or evangelist. If she had been carrying a pair of scissors, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Boyd will be delighted to see you."
The creature strolled slightly and got away. Then it rose up on its coarse legs, puffed out its elbow and waded demurely toward her.
For the first time, Juanita had the urge to run, but her eyebrow was lightening up and her legs refused to move.
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