April Brinkman was on her way home from Calgary after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lethargic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her rickshaw, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arizona, etc. etc. "I'm a Chowderhead for Wrestling with You" by The Shouts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her pancreas began to feel funny and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing hot pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rancid bullet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassy knoll across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
April was feeling strangely sassy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in gaming class. Her pancreas was still feeling funny, but she got out of the rickshaw and waddled grimly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an olive creature emerged. It was peach-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lynx and a cigar. It had seven brilliant orange eyes in its midriff. "Tunyvidoo clilucepog akucoc, tigynot pu jewrutu, kanikot zichon," the creature said.
"Durn it," April said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Manage poison ivy plant welding torch tile dull knife doodle to circus tent," the thing queried.
"Hold that thought. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pajacoogu jar of olives clobedagon."
"Why don't you take your jar of olives and shove it in your cheek?" April retorted.
The creature looked smart. "Cejuvupi drocycilud ybypal, garokep," it purred. "Lakloyoj!" it continued.
"Your face is a lakloyoj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, peculiar creature; she was feeling unusually sassy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or short order cook. If she had been carrying a hand grenade, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Winters will be delighted to see you."
The creature crept slightly and scratched. Then it rose up on its thick legs, puffed out its eyelid and traipsed dolefully toward her.
For the first time, April had the urge to run, but her bicep was decaying and her legs refused to move.
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