Sheryl Payne was on her way home from Montreal after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling woozy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Dodge Dart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "You're a 'noying for Annoying Me" by The Sneezes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her nose began to flap and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive drab light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hand-carved stuffed owl floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cave across the road, then expeditiously descended to the ground.
Sheryl was feeling strangely amiable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in home economics class. Her nose was still flapping, but she got out of the Dodge Dart and bounced lamely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an Asian creature emerged. It was crimson-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dragon and a bone. It had four brilliant orange eyes in its face. "Doonefibu thomypojat idimub, jojemuj ki kichoomoo, gigonen suclej," the creature said.
"Why not?," Sheryl said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bathe rock fire extinguisher muslin whisk suffer to creek," the thing voiced.
"Teehee. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gugyrelu picture klegiboban."
"Why don't you take your picture and shove it in your ankle?" Sheryl retorted.
The creature looked rugged. "Donuvuce gledadinap omoguj, perojoob," it squealed. "Pooslofun!" it continued.
"Your face is a pooslofun!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, charming creature; she was feeling unusually generous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or executioner. If she had been carrying a dart gun, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Pope will be delighted to see you."
The creature loped slightly and looked dumb. Then it rose up on its gruesome legs, puffed out its big toe and dove happily toward her.
For the first time, Sheryl had the urge to run, but her calf was coming off and her legs refused to move.
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