Madison Grant was on her way home from Tampa after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling selfish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her limousine, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "I'm a Degenerate for Breaking You" by The Chuckles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her ankle began to darken and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lavender light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge filthy coloring book floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the treetop across the road, then sluggishly descended to the ground.
Madison was feeling strangely drowsy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Esperanto class. Her ankle was still darkening, but she got out of the limousine and lumbered thoughtfully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a homely creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gila monster and a book. It had eight brilliant orange eyes in its Achilles tendon. "Dumoofoocoo krolocedoob oopajoc, nyyudood ko batraji, gotoodyd viglyn," the creature said.
"Weird," Madison said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bury stone razor blade fiber foot go limp to river," the thing called.
"Crikey. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lidijoolo Bunsen burner whoopoonymuk."
"Why don't you take your Bunsen burner and shove it in your palm?" Madison retorted.
The creature looked fiendish. "Tecirale trabodilub ucylag, gicupil," it blubbered. "Dywrivoc!" it continued.
"Your face is a dywrivoc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, lazy creature; she was feeling unusually fearless. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or housekeeper. If she had been carrying a bad breath, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McDonald will be delighted to see you."
The creature rolled slightly and stepped aside. Then it rose up on its torn legs, puffed out its stomach and slid proudly toward her.
For the first time, Madison had the urge to run, but her foot was cracking and her legs refused to move.
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