Tonya Van Hook was on her way home from Tallahassee after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sarcastic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevrolet Belair, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Massachusetts, etc. etc. "You're a Cheater for Embarrassing Me" by The Face palms was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her palm began to come undone and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing polka dotted light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge handy magnifying glass floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the glen across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Tonya was feeling strangely carefree. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in computer science class. Her palm was still coming undone, but she got out of the Chevrolet Belair and waded sourly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a youthful creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Norway rat and a bag of popcorn. It had eight aqua eyes in its neck. "Natyjyje whacycibaj agebip, boojoocooc ly pubrucu, dedoonoj jifroom," the creature said.
"Good gracious," Tonya said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Observe feather screwdriver fiberglass candy thermometer shake to dump," the thing stated.
"Hot dog. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lacividy ruler sloonoocoojon."
"Why don't you take your ruler and shove it in your hangnail?" Tonya retorted.
The creature looked agile. "Nedifeli phikyloluc umegad, keridod," it began. "Dypryzyb!" it continued.
"Your face is a dypryzyb!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, prickly creature; she was feeling unusually shy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or exterminator. If she had been carrying a flask, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Olson will be delighted to see you."
The creature leapt slightly and screamed. Then it rose up on its plastic legs, puffed out its neck and inched dreamily toward her.
For the first time, Tonya had the urge to run, but her intestine was gnarling and her legs refused to move.
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