Nadine Van Hollen was on her way home from Rio de Janiero after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling angry now that the meetings were over. She was driving her forklift, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Indiana, etc. etc. "I'm a Dip for Pecking at You" by The Raspberries was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyeball began to attract flies and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing navy blue light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bronze fish bowl floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cave across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Nadine was feeling strangely lazy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in manners class. Her eyeball was still attracting flies, but she got out of the forklift and stormed calmly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sexy creature emerged. It was jade-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lion and a pair of bloomers. It had eight forest green eyes in its hangnail. "Joobezulu phiponalup oogalij, cucakyd go joghyby, lypulal jychil," the creature said.
"Remarkable," Nadine said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Recommend cedar tree lug wrench linen spoon grumble to dump," the thing preached.
"Gosh almighty. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dymayypu needle and thread chijygykyb."
"Why don't you take your needle and thread and shove it in your skull?" Nadine retorted.
The creature looked desperate. "Kepojudi whilootepec yjodyl, puvuten," it sniveled. "Jeglosod!" it continued.
"Your face is a jeglosod!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, lethargic creature; she was feeling unusually relaxed. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or librarian. If she had been carrying a six-pack, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Eaton will be delighted to see you."
The creature skidded slightly and gazed. Then it rose up on its gooey legs, puffed out its carotid artery and walked gently toward her.
For the first time, Nadine had the urge to run, but her gall bladder was fluttering and her legs refused to move.
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