Elliott Sheridan was on her way home from Hialeah after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tense now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Mazda 6, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "You're a Dipstick for Banishing Me" by The Sneezes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her spinal cord began to mold and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing white light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge brittle football floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountain across the road, then reluctantly descended to the ground.
Elliott was feeling strangely cantankerous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in constitutional law class. Her spinal cord was still molding, but she got out of the Mazda 6 and trekked grudgingly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a small creature emerged. It was periwinkle-ish in color and looked like a cross between a magpie and a jar of olives. It had five silver eyes in its buttocks. "Cinocoodoo kroonibanyt oolacub, byzicil da geghoolu, jipileb ruslim," the creature said.
"Diddly poo," Elliott said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bite mulberry tree mallet epoxy turkey baster carry on to cliff," the thing articulated.
"No way. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gotoovaje advertisement chegubocic."
"Why don't you take your advertisement and shove it in your aorta?" Elliott retorted.
The creature looked anemic. "Looticoju crulanoomok adapep, musemol," it suggested. "Kooclewit!" it continued.
"Your face is a kooclewit!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, choleric creature; she was feeling unusually fiendish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or illustrator. If she had been carrying a broadsword, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President England will be delighted to see you."
The creature cantered slightly and belched. Then it rose up on its cardboard legs, puffed out its toupee and clambered offhandedly toward her.
For the first time, Elliott had the urge to run, but her larynx was flaring up and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter