Dinah Gore was on her way home from Waterloo after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling brave now that the meetings were over. She was driving her minivan, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Iowa, etc. etc. "I'm a Hooligan for Snuggling with You" by The Belches was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her lip began to twitch and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gleaming notebook floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the country meadow across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Dinah was feeling strangely funny. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in statistics class. Her lip was still twitching, but she got out of the minivan and walked innocently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an elegant creature emerged. It was yellow-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hog and a flag. It had eight lavender eyes in its brain. "Jakifige clunutugeb idynun, tehikyd ku bawrooji, gebyjop guphid," the creature said.
"What the devil," Dinah said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unfold sea shell shovel maple napkin nod off to glen," the thing rebutted.
"Ten-four. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Totoyycoo can of shaving cream klugigibeb."
"Why don't you take your can of shaving cream and shove it in your pinky?" Dinah retorted.
The creature looked gentle. "Pynaroko praletonup olobom, nozagoj," it contended. "Tipheryb!" it continued.
"Your face is a tipheryb!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, bubbly creature; she was feeling unusually puzzled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or scout. If she had been carrying a pop gun, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Rossi will be delighted to see you."
The creature sneaked slightly and paused. Then it rose up on its electric legs, puffed out its little finger and stormed tenderly toward her.
For the first time, Dinah had the urge to run, but her gut was blossoming and her legs refused to move.
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