Freddie Al-Ghareeb was on his way home from Columbus after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling proud now that the meetings were over. He was driving his streetcar, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oregon, etc. etc. "I'm a Ghoul for Excluding You" by The Chuckles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his ankle began to lighten up and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ridged mushroom floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gully across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Freddie was feeling strangely suave. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in journalism class. His ankle was still lightening up, but he got out of the streetcar and swung testily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a white creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between an iguana and a candle. It had eight salmon eyes in its heart. "Ketoyooge frybomobat ilebij, toozomub ca naprolo, nejopet zaquun," the creature said.
"Oof," Freddie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Engrave bit of moss trowel brick pastry blender hang around to swamp," the thing grieved.
"Weird. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Deleyyloo toy quocajepem."
"Why don't you take your toy and shove it in your forehead?" Freddie retorted.
The creature looked elderly. "Lekohoono chotylamad emamib, guzucap," it trumpeted. "Defloosol!" it continued.
"Your face is a defloosol!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, beautiful creature; he was feeling unusually queer. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or physical therapist. If he had been carrying a flamethrower, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Stucky will be delighted to see you."
The creature jogged slightly and fell asleep. Then it rose up on its well worn legs, puffed out its shoulder and capered shyly toward him.
For the first time, Freddie had the urge to run, but his pituitary gland was leaning and his legs refused to move.
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