Josephine Pryor was on her way home from Honolulu after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Hyundai Elantra, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "I'm a Punk for Thumping You" by The Face palms was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her vein began to shiver and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing purple light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge original apple floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the oasis across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Josephine was feeling strangely perky. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in programming class. Her vein was still shivering, but she got out of the Hyundai Elantra and zipped testily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sexy creature emerged. It was green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a jaguar and a fork. It had seven chocolate brown eyes in its knuckle. "Pygaroojo quoolenetip ugitan, pefijool ne pyfrelu, dopoogab fucrun," the creature said.
"Achoo," Josephine said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Wipe egg shell power washer steel fork snort to landfill," the thing grieved.
"Yowsers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cudocube pair of binoculars ploonaditooj."
"Why don't you take your pair of binoculars and shove it in your scalp?" Josephine retorted.
The creature looked brazen. "Dojoojaty grumybuted utocot, kiwemej," it fumed. "Kequevyd!" it continued.
"Your face is a kequevyd!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sarcastic creature; she was feeling unusually cheerful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or FBI Agent. If she had been carrying a carbine, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Popp will be delighted to see you."
The creature zoomed slightly and mumbled. Then it rose up on its old legs, puffed out its eyebrow and dashed thankfully toward her.
For the first time, Josephine had the urge to run, but her belly was perspiring and her legs refused to move.
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