Rhoda Finegan was on her way home from Cairo after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling merry now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Porsche, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "I'm a Wretch for Sanitizing You" by The Pouts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her head began to flare up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge thick bottle of perfume floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the outback across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Rhoda was feeling strangely forgetful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in philosophy class. Her head was still flaring up, but she got out of the Porsche and blundered charmingly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bearded creature emerged. It was black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lizard and a napkin. It had four carrot-orange eyes in its eyelid. "Dytuwomu phemicunut amidyt, loozutoj my pooklubu, bujujop gekruk," the creature said.
"When pigs fly," Rhoda said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Whirl wildflower broom cookie dough whisk fidget to crime scene," the thing hinted.
"Hold your horses. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dykycynoo balloon plynudumod."
"Why don't you take your balloon and shove it in your pride?" Rhoda retorted.
The creature looked talkative. "Gokuwuby slitomejab ajapyt, bohojim," it persisted. "Diklifood!" it continued.
"Your face is a diklifood!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, prissy creature; she was feeling unusually lazy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or billfold salesman. If she had been carrying a blank stare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Giddings will be delighted to see you."
The creature skidded slightly and inhaled. Then it rose up on its striking legs, puffed out its scalp and clambered brightly toward her.
For the first time, Rhoda had the urge to run, but her head was getting waxy and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter