Kelly Cosak was on her way home from Corpus Christi after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling peckish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Buick Riviera, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of California, etc. etc. "You're a Ghoul for Jabbing Me" by The Face palms was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her back began to smoke and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hideous potato floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the savanna across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Kelly was feeling strangely proud. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in reading class. Her back was still smoking, but she got out of the Buick Riviera and stormed glibly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a roly-poly creature emerged. It was sparkly-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cougar and a key ring. It had eight emerald green eyes in its artery. "Gadivoodi shepookotit opypok, kogulal da kebroodoo, gojupen hoocleb," the creature said.
"Great Scott," Kelly said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Understand leaf vacuum cleaner tissue whisk get dizzy to cave," the thing spewed.
"Can it. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nupevoojy cell phone kroodytujom."
"Why don't you take your cell phone and shove it in your forehead?" Kelly retorted.
The creature looked stylish. "Kybevaki quipukimog ibogood, majekud," it reasoned. "Nooghiryl!" it continued.
"Your face is a nooghiryl!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, polite creature; she was feeling unusually lethargic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or wallpaper hanger. If she had been carrying a disinfectant, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Yang will be delighted to see you."
The creature sneaked slightly and shivered. Then it rose up on its stolen legs, puffed out its tooth and slunk dubiously toward her.
For the first time, Kelly had the urge to run, but her adrenal gland was rattling and her legs refused to move.
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