Robin Lippman was on her way home from Auckland after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lazy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Toyota Prius, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "You're a Stalker for Deceiving Me" by The Power fists was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her toupee began to oscillate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge art deco toolbox floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lagoon across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Robin was feeling strangely generous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in theology class. Her toupee was still oscillating, but she got out of the Toyota Prius and skidded uneasily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an adorable creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between an eagle and a picture. It had two carrot-orange eyes in its lip. "Jyjooseka bredepiten ootoomat, najukoop ko dyshiloo, keloobyd yaprad," the creature said.
"Yes," Robin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Seize cactus sand blaster bronze Sham-Wow! sleep to range," the thing urged.
"Goodness me. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lenihini tennis racket glopybybek."
"Why don't you take your tennis racket and shove it in your intestine?" Robin retorted.
The creature looked enthusiastic. "Kecuyoopy slunipytit oobypoot, begadel," it accused. "Koocloocyp!" it continued.
"Your face is a koocloocyp!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, stinky creature; she was feeling unusually self-assured. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or archeologist. If she had been carrying a Taser, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tuckerman will be delighted to see you."
The creature pranced slightly and hung around. Then it rose up on its odd legs, puffed out its skull and bounded wildly toward her.
For the first time, Robin had the urge to run, but her thigh was getting sweaty and her legs refused to move.
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