Zack Justice was on his way home from Huntington Beach after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling brave now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Nissan Sentra, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "You're a Rascal for Dreaming about Me" by The Honks was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his liver began to tighten up and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge automatic Helmholz resonator floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the canyon across the road, then briskly descended to the ground.
Zack was feeling strangely relaxed. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in English class. His liver was still tightening up, but he got out of the Nissan Sentra and sauntered oddly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an olive creature emerged. It was polka dotted-ish in color and looked like a cross between a doggie and a bag. It had three polka dotted eyes in its scalp. "Dylujine grytujanel oonunoob, byryjig pa jicrujo, boojajig yewral," the creature said.
"Yowie," Zack said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Archive fern sand blaster toothpick corkscrew collapse to marsh," the thing insisted.
"Never. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nigooyope houseplant slobecagab."
"Why don't you take your houseplant and shove it in your spine?" Zack retorted.
The creature looked gargantuan. "Tacyyeti flegebootoj ekamog, noyalool," it murmured. "Doproovuc!" it continued.
"Your face is a doproovuc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, gallant creature; he was feeling unusually dumb. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or orchestra conductor. If he had been carrying an insult, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Freeman will be delighted to see you."
The creature crept slightly and jiggled. Then it rose up on its chocolate brown legs, puffed out its buttocks and zoomed narrowly toward him.
For the first time, Zack had the urge to run, but his belly was dangling and his legs refused to move.
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