Lindsay Day was on her way home from St. Louis after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling brave now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Maserati, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "I'm a Ninnyhammer for Staring at You" by The Pouts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her chin began to roll and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing red light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge slimy floppy disk floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountainside across the road, then leadenly descended to the ground.
Lindsay was feeling strangely fiendish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in alchemy class. Her chin was still rolling, but she got out of the Maserati and sailed stealthily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a massive creature emerged. It was brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lamb and a wrench. It had two black eyes in its toenail. "Pacoovoni thepejokooj ojutag, nehoomook ti joocriti, gecypuc woobrol," the creature said.
"Of course," Lindsay said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hit wolf track hammer block of ice bare foot swoon to neighborhood," the thing smiled.
"Big whoop. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kajyhoodu ruler chobatyboj."
"Why don't you take your ruler and shove it in your gall bladder?" Lindsay retorted.
The creature looked deadly. "Kocevooba wryjoopemuk oodugid, tysoonip," it voiced. "Pathijuc!" it continued.
"Your face is a pathijuc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, haughty creature; she was feeling unusually tipsy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or evangelist. If she had been carrying a shiv, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Law will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and inhaled. Then it rose up on its automatic legs, puffed out its spine and trotted tearfully toward her.
For the first time, Lindsay had the urge to run, but her skin was going crazy and her legs refused to move.
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