Wendell Novak was on his way home from Johannesburg after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling exuberant now that the meetings were over. He was driving his bicycle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "You're a Madman for Snuggling with Me" by The Shouts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his front tooth began to freak out and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing indigo light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge mechanical toothbrush floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the desert across the road, then diligently descended to the ground.
Wendell was feeling strangely selfish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in ciphering class. His front tooth was still freaking out, but he got out of the bicycle and crept lamely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dark creature emerged. It was black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mosquito and a necklace. It had six rose eyes in its shin. "Bygoyoby troogoonubyg ucubool, noovoocyc pu gyphypoo, mytibeb fedryt," the creature said.
"By all the saints," Wendell said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Push tree stump plunger wire meat thermometer moan to hayfield," the thing boasted.
"Doggone. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nudoorimoo clam brotulenuj."
"Why don't you take your clam and shove it in your intestine?" Wendell retorted.
The creature looked dark. "Bujucugu floloojumood ibetyp, busebyp," it comforted. "Mothihen!" it continued.
"Your face is a mothihen!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, difficult creature; he was feeling unusually lazy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or model. If he had been carrying a syringe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Whitney will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and shrugged. Then it rose up on its cotton legs, puffed out its arm and sidled quickly toward him.
For the first time, Wendell had the urge to run, but his liver was cracking and his legs refused to move.
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