Deborah Suskind was on her way home from Rome after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cantankerous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Oldsmobile Cutlass, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "I'm a Scalawag for Maligning You" by The Woofs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her elbow began to droop and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge slimy dictionary floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the outback across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Deborah was feeling strangely calm. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Myanmaran studies class. Her elbow was still drooping, but she got out of the Oldsmobile Cutlass and tore admiringly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pretty creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gecko and a football. It had seven aquamarine eyes in its antenna. "Pootuciju kletodaked ykookul, tihypoop lo pocrooba, cucocat vooprat," the creature said.
"Hell's bells," Deborah said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Decorate spider web broadaxe chocolate food processor clatter to treetop," the thing brought up.
"What the dickens. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pobisejoo brush grimebudek."
"Why don't you take your brush and shove it in your spine?" Deborah retorted.
The creature looked petulant. "Kymereky bredoomacood ocypyt, lajypol," it howled. "Jooquoowon!" it continued.
"Your face is a jooquoowon!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, absent-minded creature; she was feeling unusually thoughtful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bicycle messenger. If she had been carrying a knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Brown will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and ruminated. Then it rose up on its ragged legs, puffed out its chin and crept majestically toward her.
For the first time, Deborah had the urge to run, but her tooth was feeling heavy and her legs refused to move.
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