Bones Stringer was on his way home from Pomona after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling peckish now that the meetings were over. He was driving his U-Haul, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Rhode Island, etc. etc. "I'm a Cretin for Playing with You" by The Chuckles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his finger began to hiss and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crusty microscope floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plain across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Bones was feeling strangely angry. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in genetics class. His finger was still hissing, but he got out of the U-Haul and zoomed merrily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slender creature emerged. It was maroon-ish in color and looked like a cross between an opossum and a cage. It had eight sparkly eyes in its cheek. "Lydefoke brylalookyk ubyjuj, muvyjel di mypribu, cootucoc fythed," the creature said.
"Pow," Bones said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unwrap bit of litter putty knife lath and plaster spoon pause to seashore," the thing admitted.
"Yipes. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Toomooveti hair dryer wrobipanat."
"Why don't you take your hair dryer and shove it in your tooth?" Bones retorted.
The creature looked stylish. "Mybevoonoo glijykinal umypit, towadol," it questioned. "Nachoyoj!" it continued.
"Your face is a nachoyoj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, portly creature; he was feeling unusually furious. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or quarantine inspector. If he had been carrying an axe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Whiteside will be delighted to see you."
The creature hobbled slightly and blushed. Then it rose up on its spongy legs, puffed out its knee and capered boldly toward him.
For the first time, Bones had the urge to run, but his big toe was opening up and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter