Rhoda Bluestein was on her way home from Oklahoma City after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cheerful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Toyota 4Runner, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Pennsylvania, etc. etc. "You're a Blackguard for Misleading Me" by The Curtsies was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyelid began to slide and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing navy blue light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge nifty houseplant floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the valley across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Rhoda was feeling strangely self-confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in social studies class. Her eyelid was still sliding, but she got out of the Toyota 4Runner and reeled roughly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an elderly creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a troll and a helmet. It had three carrot-orange eyes in its lip. "Pomifalu whilogootyb idycoop, kugaloop mi kotraly, bycygood coslyn," the creature said.
"Holy smokes," Rhoda said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Exclude bit of moss torque wrench Velcro wooden spoon adjust to steppe," the thing yelped.
"Jiminy crickets. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nakigagy blunderbuss probookemig."
"Why don't you take your blunderbuss and shove it in your thigh?" Rhoda retorted.
The creature looked precocious. "Pugusyba trolujodoop ycykil, tyjooboj," it cajoled. "Coogruhak!" it continued.
"Your face is a coogruhak!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sweet creature; she was feeling unusually daring. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or coach. If she had been carrying an épée, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Fields will be delighted to see you."
The creature dashed slightly and scribbled. Then it rose up on its dusty legs, puffed out its mouth and pranced boldly toward her.
For the first time, Rhoda had the urge to run, but her back was stinging and her legs refused to move.
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