Dolores Sledge was on her way home from Tallahassee after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling awkward now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Tesla Roadster, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Texas, etc. etc. "I'm a Degenerate for Believing in You" by The Titters was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her wig began to soften and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive drab light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge dry towel floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the prairie across the road, then nimbly descended to the ground.
Dolores was feeling strangely cantankerous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in health class. Her wig was still softening, but she got out of the Tesla Roadster and stormed busily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an unkempt creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cobra and a pencil sharpener. It had six jet black eyes in its throat. "Tytoyule quootamedop icomyd, dazacyg goo cygroodi, jimujood sootroj," the creature said.
"Holy Mother of Petunias," Dolores said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Toss apple tree scythe sand garlic press curtsey to seacoast," the thing commented.
"Oof. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Ladoogeny baby doll wrecaboocub."
"Why don't you take your baby doll and shove it in your pinky?" Dolores retorted.
The creature looked megalomaniacal. "Joogehati clabokabooj yjydum, joozotup," it screeched. "Nichazub!" it continued.
"Your face is a nichazub!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, dreadful creature; she was feeling unusually carefree. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or nanny. If she had been carrying an air freshener, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Whitefoot will be delighted to see you."
The creature tiptoed slightly and seethed. Then it rose up on its archaic legs, puffed out its jaw and scurried languidly toward her.
For the first time, Dolores had the urge to run, but her cheek was fluttering and her legs refused to move.
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