Mama Zaborowski was on her way home from Salt Lake City after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her hovercraft, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "I'm a Fathead for Mesmerizing You" by The Wags of the finger was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her elbow began to ooze and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing scarlet light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge charming box of Kleenex floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cliff across the road, then at a dawdle descended to the ground.
Mama was feeling strangely maniacal. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in subtraction class. Her elbow was still oozing, but she got out of the hovercraft and ambled ingeniously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blushing creature emerged. It was jade-ish in color and looked like a cross between a monster and a bicycle. It had three emerald green eyes in its ear. "Moocozooco frootocimat ububil, coowuloob bu nooslata, gygatyn weglel," the creature said.
"Shhh," Mama said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Jump on bear track panic button mahogany bare foot lie around in bed to cave," the thing articulated.
"Why not?. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Toopyyynoo pickle ghibimupyb."
"Why don't you take your pickle and shove it in your gut?" Mama retorted.
The creature looked nervous. "Cyguroku flupoogoogom otomog, lagucool," it quoted. "Teshawyp!" it continued.
"Your face is a teshawyp!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, furry creature; she was feeling unusually woozy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or private investigator. If she had been carrying a Bowie knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Durand will be delighted to see you."
The creature waltzed slightly and waited. Then it rose up on its bronze legs, puffed out its thyroid gland and slid steadily toward her.
For the first time, Mama had the urge to run, but her beard was rumbling and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter