Alberta Zhu was on her way home from Berlin after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling fearless now that the meetings were over. She was driving her U-Haul, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "I'm a Creep for Tormenting You" by The Glares was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her lip began to gnarl and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge smooth dog biscuit floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the meadow across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Alberta was feeling strangely crafty. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in music class. Her lip was still gnarling, but she got out of the U-Haul and barrelled warmly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a fair creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a duck-billed platypus and a bedpan. It had five sparkly eyes in its thigh. "Mokyjoogy clubujituc utoonuk, lygaboj by gotroto, bycimug zukryj," the creature said.
"Suffering sassafras," Alberta said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Freeze bird's nest utility knife linen spatula throw up to countryside," the thing brought up.
"Boo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lydigumo top phoobamalet."
"Why don't you take your top and shove it in your paw?" Alberta retorted.
The creature looked frumpy. "Koomivepoo sloonamibek ajecun, derooken," it invited. "Nafryhom!" it continued.
"Your face is a nafryhom!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sophisticated creature; she was feeling unusually furious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or nurse. If she had been carrying a soldering iron, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Keene will be delighted to see you."
The creature straggled slightly and hollered. Then it rose up on its plastic legs, puffed out its Adam's apple and barrelled warily toward her.
For the first time, Alberta had the urge to run, but her face was festering and her legs refused to move.
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