Helen Grover was on her way home from Billings after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling calm now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Mexico, etc. etc. "You're an Ignoramous for Reassuring Me" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her brain began to get hot and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing khaki light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ruined baseball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountain across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Helen was feeling strangely thoughtful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in alchemy class. Her brain was still getting hot, but she got out of the Volkswagon and leapt obediently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an Asian creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a raven and a paper towel. It had five olive green eyes in its esophagus. "Becogojoo chicodybil ibomim, gijyjoom ne gufrookoo, jylyjul soograj," the creature said.
"Okay then," Helen said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Chisel bird's nest drill clay knife come over to countryside," the thing commented.
"Grrrrr. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Takoozatoo doily tredotyboob."
"Why don't you take your doily and shove it in your forehead?" Helen retorted.
The creature looked apoplectic. "Pigijide crepaputot inykad, poosykal," it mouthed. "Gesloocoon!" it continued.
"Your face is a gesloocoon!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, zany creature; she was feeling unusually dumb. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or snake charmer. If she had been carrying a potato masher, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Briggs will be delighted to see you."
The creature tramped slightly and fretted. Then it rose up on its crisp legs, puffed out its antenna and slid automatically toward her.
For the first time, Helen had the urge to run, but her forehead was getting hairy and her legs refused to move.
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