Ole Springer was on his way home from Dublin after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling thoughtful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ram pickup, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arizona, etc. etc. "I'm an elk for Questioning You" by The Growls was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his little toe began to heave and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge smooth tube of toothpaste floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hayfield across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Ole was feeling strangely tense. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in poetry class. His little toe was still heaving, but he got out of the Ram pickup and trotted automatically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an albino creature emerged. It was sea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a polecat and a kite. It had six crimson eyes in its artery. "Lycizuce groopicajic oninod, mofeduj too githepy, jybogot wywhed," the creature said.
"Voilà," Ole said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Expose leaf trowel epoxy meat thermometer stand by to bog," the thing spat.
"Now what?. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jigisyka rock chinigoocec."
"Why don't you take your rock and shove it in your forehead?" Ole retorted.
The creature looked daring. "Jylizooca fretyjumoob inypod, mecamub," it mused. "Dashowal!" it continued.
"Your face is a dashowal!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, maniacal creature; he was feeling unusually humble. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or air traffic controller. If he had been carrying a peacemaker, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bates will be delighted to see you."
The creature waddled slightly and looked dumb. Then it rose up on its weird legs, puffed out its eyelid and lurched lovingly toward him.
For the first time, Ole had the urge to run, but his dignity was crawling and his legs refused to move.
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