Aaron Swaanhof was on his way home from Oslo after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling nervous now that the meetings were over. He was driving his chariot, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "I'm a Hag for Scarring You" by The Grimaces was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his leg began to act weird and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge chic potato floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the moonscape across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Aaron was feeling strangely forgetful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in anatomy class. His leg was still acting weird, but he got out of the chariot and slid lovingly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a curvy creature emerged. It was brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cocker spaniel and a coloring book. It had two magenta eyes in its shin. "Goopoosada groogoobygep icetool, jejagad gu cogrunu, poomoodel getrom," the creature said.
"The joke's on you," Aaron said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Manage poison ivy plant piece of sandpaper slate pair of tongs blow up to glen," the thing chanted.
"Ouch. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jedejanoo pom-pom quooceponel."
"Why don't you take your pom-pom and shove it in your palm?" Aaron retorted.
The creature looked dignified. "Loonizyla kripunetuk ylakam, lajamood," it yawned. "Goosluwed!" it continued.
"Your face is a goosluwed!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, serious creature; he was feeling unusually peckish. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or drunkard. If he had been carrying a catheter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Warren will be delighted to see you."
The creature sashayed slightly and fell asleep. Then it rose up on its rare legs, puffed out its elbow and strode hungrily toward him.
For the first time, Aaron had the urge to run, but his jaw was getting scaly and his legs refused to move.
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