Amanda Riggs was on her way home from Irvine after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling queer now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Suburu Outback, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wyoming, etc. etc. "You're a Prattling gabbler for Stepping on Me" by The Death glares was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her chin began to gleam and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fuzzy pepper grinder floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the savanna across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Amanda was feeling strangely angry. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in food science class. Her chin was still gleaming, but she got out of the Suburu Outback and loped kindly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a demonic creature emerged. It was salmon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gopher and a baseball bat. It had eight yellow eyes in its esophagus. "Caleyoopa shijookajal igukaj, mazybal pi magrukoo, pypumyt suthoob," the creature said.
"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to," Amanda said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bend spider web jackhammer limestone basting brush stand by to cliff," the thing declared.
"Aye. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jutayode Frisbee clyloocakac."
"Why don't you take your Frisbee and shove it in your knee?" Amanda retorted.
The creature looked dowdy. "Gylayuka slegootybyt ijigum, lejakooj," it blathered. "Bathicyl!" it continued.
"Your face is a bathicyl!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, petulant creature; she was feeling unusually carefree. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or trader. If she had been carrying a pom-pom, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Nelson will be delighted to see you."
The creature trotted slightly and showed up. Then it rose up on its papery legs, puffed out its waist and darted gently toward her.
For the first time, Amanda had the urge to run, but her wig was twitching and her legs refused to move.
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