Leila Stoker was on her way home from San Diego after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dapper now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Mercury Cougar, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Mississippi, etc. etc. "I'm a Hoodlum for Messing with You" by The Pound of the chests was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her back began to overheat and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing violet light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge smelly tote bag floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seacoast across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Leila was feeling strangely selfish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in folklore class. Her back was still overheating, but she got out of the Mercury Cougar and sneaked tearfully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a haggard creature emerged. It was striped-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rhinoceros and a can of soup. It had five burgundy eyes in its piehole. "Memohuta whenyloogem ookopul, noozodun joo tytheku, bupalek cegryc," the creature said.
"Malarkey," Leila said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Curl tree hammer linen basting brush wake up to circus tent," the thing enunciated.
"Aaack. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lubocejo egg shell plonetukot."
"Why don't you take your egg shell and shove it in your shoulder?" Leila retorted.
The creature looked noble. "Pamegagi ghajumucul ykityn, pyyitut," it gabbed. "Dukrygel!" it continued.
"Your face is a dukrygel!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, rapacious creature; she was feeling unusually lethargic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or ecologist. If she had been carrying a brick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Foreman will be delighted to see you."
The creature sidled slightly and bawled. Then it rose up on its greasy legs, puffed out its aorta and bounded craftily toward her.
For the first time, Leila had the urge to run, but her toupee was smelling bad and her legs refused to move.
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