Jude Pryor was on his way home from Providence after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling awkward now that the meetings were over. He was driving his little red wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "I'm a Nut for Kicking You" by The Hiccups was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his leg began to hang and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fabulous orchid floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the beach across the road, then double-time descended to the ground.
Jude was feeling strangely lazy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in ciphering class. His leg was still hanging, but he got out of the little red wagon and danced openly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an olive creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between a teddy bear and a cigarette. It had seven silver eyes in its funny bone. "Nypizucu klukakybam ogebyj, cajijyl jo mikrylo, goodipid zuwreg," the creature said.
"In your dreams," Jude said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Strip badger hole pair of pliers lead garlic press watch to marsh," the thing suggested.
"Fribblenootums. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kityface playing card primylocuc."
"Why don't you take your playing card and shove it in your face?" Jude retorted.
The creature looked sketchy. "Tilusota ghytipopel oojijob, lasybep," it railed. "Keklagoop!" it continued.
"Your face is a keklagoop!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, menacing creature; he was feeling unusually decisive. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or stamp collector. If he had been carrying a parlor trick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ming will be delighted to see you."
The creature marched slightly and swayed. Then it rose up on its charming legs, puffed out its waist and waddled despondently toward him.
For the first time, Jude had the urge to run, but his skin was crackling and his legs refused to move.
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