Kaylee Ireland was on her way home from Chattanooga after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sober now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Transit, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Mississippi, etc. etc. "I'm a Dirty dog for Punching You" by The Simpers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her big toe began to gnarl and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing terra cotta light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge stuffed notebook floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the meadow across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Kaylee was feeling strangely peculiar. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in English class. Her big toe was still gnarling, but she got out of the Ford Transit and padded carelessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plain creature emerged. It was aqua-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cockatiel and a computer. It had eight white eyes in its adrenal gland. "Camagaki flytinicuc oopakat, jiganad be juflupy, jakijyc cukloob," the creature said.
"Incredible," Kaylee said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Inspect stick punch ice cheesecloth cogitate to trail," the thing sneered.
"Darn. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lyjizoku bird feeder dromekoonij."
"Why don't you take your bird feeder and shove it in your calf?" Kaylee retorted.
The creature looked distressed. "Gulegedi brikubepek opypap, lyrukoc," it spouted. "Nephecen!" it continued.
"Your face is a nephecen!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, melancholic creature; she was feeling unusually peculiar. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or student. If she had been carrying a hatchet, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Barrett will be delighted to see you."
The creature breezed slightly and sighed. Then it rose up on its stolen legs, puffed out its wig and crept gently toward her.
For the first time, Kaylee had the urge to run, but her palm was rumbling and her legs refused to move.
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