Judy Crowe was on her way home from Bozeman after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevrolet Belair, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "I'm a Blackguard for Needling You" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hangnail began to turn around and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jet black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge colossal wrench floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hill across the road, then moderately descended to the ground.
Judy was feeling strangely fearful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in plumbing class. Her hangnail was still turning around, but she got out of the Chevrolet Belair and waltzed neatly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a haggard creature emerged. It was tan-ish in color and looked like a cross between a duck and a coin. It had two yellow eyes in its ear. "Gejacybe glenugetug uguned, pisimig na luklapa, poocakep soclun," the creature said.
"Nice," Judy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hammer bit of litter protractor asbestos paring knife lie around in bed to pasture," the thing lamented.
"Jiminy crickets. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gabuvudi coat check ticket quimekuden."
"Why don't you take your coat check ticket and shove it in your neck?" Judy retorted.
The creature looked unselfish. "Gojavoota gromiboopoot ujupyj, kowebyb," it questioned. "Beplovig!" it continued.
"Your face is a beplovig!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, fascinating creature; she was feeling unusually timid. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or janitor. If she had been carrying a Taser, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Thurman will be delighted to see you."
The creature hobbled slightly and breathed. Then it rose up on its ruined legs, puffed out its paw and padded majestically toward her.
For the first time, Judy had the urge to run, but her leg was roasting and her legs refused to move.
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