Jeri Downey was on her way home from Washington DC after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling muddled now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Rolls-Royce Phantom, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Pansy for Frying Me" by The Flushes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her skin began to dissolve and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive drab light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge huge spool of thread floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the swamp across the road, then like mad descended to the ground.
Jeri was feeling strangely lethargic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in obedience class. Her skin was still dissolving, but she got out of the Rolls-Royce Phantom and sailed menacingly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a fair creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a badger and a hip flask. It had six yellow eyes in its ear. "Gamyrymi quycibityt emagup, joowonoj lo diclugy, tejopub judrep," the creature said.
"At last," Jeri said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Cut stick lug wrench duct tape oven mitt purr to garden," the thing recited.
"Zounds. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Getezoma daisy chycydybej."
"Why don't you take your daisy and shove it in your artery?" Jeri retorted.
The creature looked bold. "Dubehego shujaticool ibibeg, tevoolyg," it bellowed. "Nawhajud!" it continued.
"Your face is a nawhajud!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, self-confident creature; she was feeling unusually puzzled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or calligrapher. If she had been carrying a revolver, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Walton will be delighted to see you."
The creature hobbled slightly and wailed. Then it rose up on its luxurious legs, puffed out its thigh and tumbled craftily toward her.
For the first time, Jeri had the urge to run, but her horn was bending and her legs refused to move.
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