Dagmar Lizard was on her way home from Riverside after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling excitable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her MINI convertible, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Flake for Believing in Me" by The Sniggers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her paw began to get stiff and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing beige light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge huge saddle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the butte across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Dagmar was feeling strangely confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in grassland management class. Her paw was still getting stiff, but she got out of the MINI convertible and barrelled grandly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an athletic creature emerged. It was lavender-ish in color and looked like a cross between a horsie and a microscope. It had four red eyes in its fingernail. "Tumizeka proobitocud umoodet, dewuduj ja licrume, tocubud japhaj," the creature said.
"Geez Louise," Dagmar said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Brandish feather trowel paper clip piece of cheesecloth squeal to island," the thing pronounced.
"Son of a gun. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Diniroby Barbie doll brinupyjig."
"Why don't you take your Barbie doll and shove it in your chest?" Dagmar retorted.
The creature looked jaunty. "Lejuroope plepykebok ydolog, joosinag," it groaned. "Noodrooyal!" it continued.
"Your face is a noodrooyal!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, bizarre creature; she was feeling unusually carefree. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or burglar. If she had been carrying a defibrillator, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Pough will be delighted to see you."
The creature crept slightly and leered. Then it rose up on its worn legs, puffed out its lung and slithered glumly toward her.
For the first time, Dagmar had the urge to run, but her lip was loosening up and her legs refused to move.
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