Vera Targoff was on her way home from Tunis after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Jeep Cherokee, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "I'm a Rat for Poisoning You" by The Shivers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her mouth began to act weird and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing hot pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rusty clock floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the wasteland across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Vera was feeling strangely excitable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in molecular biology class. Her mouth was still acting weird, but she got out of the Jeep Cherokee and waltzed calmly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a grubby creature emerged. It was aquamarine-ish in color and looked like a cross between a salamander and a doll. It had four aquamarine eyes in its earlobe. "Gimuyapa flucegabyp icudood, gysunuc ju mecligu, melogup wooproc," the creature said.
"Blaak," Vera said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shake poison ivy plant screwdriver foam Sham-Wow! run to dump," the thing stuttered.
"Alrighty. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Koodyguko can of beans frenilelid."
"Why don't you take your can of beans and shove it in your back?" Vera retorted.
The creature looked dowdy. "Becogaku prodagadin onatik, dyvonod," it tittered. "Tywhyfel!" it continued.
"Your face is a tywhyfel!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, dreadful creature; she was feeling unusually irate. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or coroner. If she had been carrying a camera, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Green will be delighted to see you."
The creature zoomed slightly and yawned. Then it rose up on its abnormal legs, puffed out its collarbone and stalked proudly toward her.
For the first time, Vera had the urge to run, but her nose was ossifying and her legs refused to move.
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