Joe Mackintosh was on his way home from Cheyenne after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling merry now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Flex, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Indiana, etc. etc. "I'm a Mush-for-brains for Slapping You" by The Evil eyes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his spine began to quiver and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jet black light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge new diagram floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the backyard across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Joe was feeling strangely resolute. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in mathematics class. His spine was still quivering, but he got out of the Ford Flex and galloped gracefully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an elegant creature emerged. It was teal-ish in color and looked like a cross between a horsie and a cell phone. It had seven indigo eyes in its adrenal gland. "Bimohuga ghicegabob otokut, joocacum poo byprooge, mejekej jabryb," the creature said.
"Hell's bells," Joe said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Identify raspberry bush razor blade asbestos Sham-Wow! snuffle to cornfield," the thing amended.
"Say what. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Myjarute bowl klemigidyd."
"Why don't you take your bowl and shove it in your skin?" Joe retorted.
The creature looked corpulent. "Gijusynu shedogylic anujyl, puvomyd," it guessed. "Nikrafap!" it continued.
"Your face is a nikrafap!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, maniacal creature; he was feeling unusually puzzled. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or filmmaker. If he had been carrying a quick retort, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Feeley will be delighted to see you."
The creature marched slightly and played Farmer in the Dell. Then it rose up on its gigantic legs, puffed out its lip and slumped hopefully toward him.
For the first time, Joe had the urge to run, but his paw was getting wonky and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter