Grace Mason was on her way home from Garden Grove after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling frantic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Toyota Land Cruiser, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wyoming, etc. etc. "I'm a Dunderhead for Irritating You" by The Air kisses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyelid began to feel funny and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge peculiar banana floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassy knoll across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Grace was feeling strangely cunning. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in health class. Her eyelid was still feeling funny, but she got out of the Toyota Land Cruiser and scooted furiously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sprightly creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a donkey and an avocado. It had two indigo eyes in its heart. "Kubyvulu cradynyduk okekug, kavolyp bi dowhalu, gabitooc rythuj," the creature said.
"Alas," Grace said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hurl pine cone nail clipper pipe cleaner basting brush cogitate to landfill," the thing chimed.
"OMG. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mygawujoo vase grobydakij."
"Why don't you take your vase and shove it in your calf?" Grace retorted.
The creature looked muddled. "Dybajyci kloogudoobap amajik, gafokyk," it argued. "Lucryyok!" it continued.
"Your face is a lucryyok!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, queer creature; she was feeling unusually exuberant. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or taxi driver. If she had been carrying a bazooka, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Watts will be delighted to see you."
The creature swung slightly and murmured. Then it rose up on its big legs, puffed out its spinal cord and went repeatedly toward her.
For the first time, Grace had the urge to run, but her abdomen was getting moldy and her legs refused to move.
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