Devin Prescott was on his way home from Hanoi after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling tense now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Alfa Romeo, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Colorado, etc. etc. "You're a Troublemaker for Going out with Me" by The Clenched fists was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his carotid artery began to quake and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rusty artificial flower floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the island across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Devin was feeling strangely dapper. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in constitutional law class. His carotid artery was still quaking, but he got out of the Alfa Romeo and padded crossly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blue-eyed creature emerged. It was lavender-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mountain goat and a lemon. It had five striped eyes in its heel. "Lilawetu gletinoodok edonam, cujadoob be byfroma, jikedoon woogrid," the creature said.
"Far out, man," Devin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Package bit of litter eyelash curler steel whisk exercise to mesa," the thing chuckled.
"Yipes. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lajoogyji sea shell trijootolen."
"Why don't you take your sea shell and shove it in your intestine?" Devin retorted.
The creature looked energetic. "Gipyhaloo crakucenooj oonoted, bifomap," it began. "Bitrijec!" it continued.
"Your face is a bitrijec!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, arrogant creature; he was feeling unusually distressed. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or tattoo artist. If he had been carrying an aspersion, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bobble will be delighted to see you."
The creature tramped slightly and spat. Then it rose up on its slimy legs, puffed out its femur and trekked sourly toward him.
For the first time, Devin had the urge to run, but his femur was turning grey and his legs refused to move.
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