Ethan Flash was on his way home from Florence after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling resolute now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Crown Victoria, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Ohio, etc. etc. "You're a Scurvy dog for Pulverizing Me" by The Gasps was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his little finger began to calcify and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brown light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge woven umbrella floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seashore across the road, then screamingly descended to the ground.
Ethan was feeling strangely fearful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in music theory class. His little finger was still calcifying, but he got out of the Crown Victoria and waded violently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sleek creature emerged. It was white-ish in color and looked like a cross between a quail and a computer. It had four mauve eyes in its thorax. "Tobazubo glogajetoot onoloc, kegelag to guchygi, bybugut rochoon," the creature said.
"Hey," Ethan said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Tickle cedar tree rasp cold rolled steel cookie cutter come to to river," the thing taunted.
"Suffering sassafras. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pomefole ball slucacydej."
"Why don't you take your ball and shove it in your eyebrow?" Ethan retorted.
The creature looked awkward. "Goonevody placilenuj idekoop, tugenig," it sputtered. "Lagrevoc!" it continued.
"Your face is a lagrevoc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, brilliant creature; he was feeling unusually fearful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or weatherman. If he had been carrying a wet washrag, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Fontanaro will be delighted to see you."
The creature danced slightly and looked puzzled. Then it rose up on its plastic legs, puffed out its thigh and capered lovingly toward him.
For the first time, Ethan had the urge to run, but his elbow was whistling and his legs refused to move.
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