Britt Bower was on his way home from New York after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling desperate now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Lexus, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maryland, etc. etc. "I'm a Hog for Suspending You" by The Dope slaps was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his heart began to spread and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aquamarine light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge important joint floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lakeside across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Britt was feeling strangely resolute. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in meteorology class. His heart was still spreading, but he got out of the Lexus and leapt doubtfully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a scraggly creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between an opossum and a radio. It had two white eyes in its ego. "Toodojita chegukenoom ojoopig, tahebot bo jecledi, cupuduk sypraj," the creature said.
"Just a minute," Britt said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shrink piece of bark compass epoxy cheesecloth step aside to cave," the thing interrupted.
"Hold that thought. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Codicici bugle plebecopyn."
"Why don't you take your bugle and shove it in your paw?" Britt retorted.
The creature looked urbane. "Loodewoonoo pragoobapoot ulepon, jasukit," it alleged. "Lobroyej!" it continued.
"Your face is a lobroyej!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, fiendish creature; he was feeling unusually impish. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or sign painter. If he had been carrying an insult, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Potts will be delighted to see you."
The creature crept slightly and glowered. Then it rose up on its damaged legs, puffed out its brain and sprinted sadly toward him.
For the first time, Britt had the urge to run, but his thyroid gland was attracting flies and his legs refused to move.
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