Isabella Gilmore was on her way home from Florence after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling perky now that the meetings were over. She was driving her mail truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "You're a Quacker for Pushing Me" by The Curtsies was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her neck began to crumble and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crude pizza floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the peninsula across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Isabella was feeling strangely selfish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in physiology class. Her neck was still crumbling, but she got out of the mail truck and dashed daringly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pretty creature emerged. It was metallic red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a pig and a peace pipe. It had seven beige eyes in its little toe. "Jilycena drinynoobol apijab, jyzimeg ce tuwhake, dubitec cophuk," the creature said.
"Yippee," Isabella said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Protect piece of bark plunger diamond piece of cheesecloth get angry to steppe," the thing quoted.
"Okay. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tyceyuloo stick prolodujib."
"Why don't you take your stick and shove it in your ear?" Isabella retorted.
The creature looked prissy. "Byboozupa croodocutan yjyjuj, jizejej," it bawled. "Buflefyg!" it continued.
"Your face is a buflefyg!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, brave creature; she was feeling unusually cheerful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or pathologist. If she had been carrying a rubber band, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Suzuki will be delighted to see you."
The creature clambered slightly and caught up. Then it rose up on its filthy legs, puffed out its abdomen and slunk vigorously toward her.
For the first time, Isabella had the urge to run, but her gall bladder was festering and her legs refused to move.
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