Kay Schmuckley was on her way home from Montgomery after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sober now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Falcon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Louisiana, etc. etc. "You're a Birdbrain for Tattling on Me" by The Sneers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her liver began to soften and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ancient paperclip floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the country meadow across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Kay was feeling strangely queer. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in horticulture class. Her liver was still softening, but she got out of the Ford Falcon and tumbled dreamily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a fit creature emerged. It was sparkly-ish in color and looked like a cross between a doggie and a dollar bill. It had four green eyes in its buttocks. "Lumewabo glypyjeged oonitul, koofoogyt gi pewrodu, poligaj cakrym," the creature said.
"Hang it," Kay said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Rattle stick love meter tile turkey baster daydream to jungle," the thing concluded.
"Cock-a-doodle-doo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mydeyyku billiard ball chulymebam."
"Why don't you take your billiard ball and shove it in your abdomen?" Kay retorted.
The creature looked annoying. "Kicuwile krojumigug oolykuc, toofudyk," it debated. "Nigrared!" it continued.
"Your face is a nigrared!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, mindless creature; she was feeling unusually tired. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or gunsmith. If she had been carrying a camera, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Nurbabayev will be delighted to see you."
The creature ambled slightly and swayed. Then it rose up on its narrow legs, puffed out its calf and scooted victoriously toward her.
For the first time, Kay had the urge to run, but her toe was throbbing and her legs refused to move.
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