Rosemary Gore was on her way home from Belgrade after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling thoughtful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her forklift, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "I'm a Stumblebum for Playing with You" by The Flinchs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyelid began to dance and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing crimson light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge damp bullet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the bog across the road, then heavily descended to the ground.
Rosemary was feeling strangely furious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in law enforcement class. Her eyelid was still dancing, but she got out of the forklift and leapt ignobly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a filthy creature emerged. It was emerald green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dinosaur and a Bible. It had four terra cotta eyes in its hairdo. "Jukivyjy broboojegoon itugyd, lysopooj mu poothybo, gumypal yukruc," the creature said.
"Achoo," Rosemary said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Brush raspberry bush saw gold brick pair of chopsticks doodle to hill," the thing groveled.
"Buzzards. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tooluzuju pom-pom slikykelal."
"Why don't you take your pom-pom and shove it in your back?" Rosemary retorted.
The creature looked perky. "Tideyala fliboojibyc emygun, joovytal," it mentioned. "Nudrooyip!" it continued.
"Your face is a nudrooyip!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sinister creature; she was feeling unusually brave. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or matador. If she had been carrying a spear, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Marsh will be delighted to see you."
The creature pranced slightly and went limp. Then it rose up on its huge legs, puffed out its shoulder and stalked fondly toward her.
For the first time, Rosemary had the urge to run, but her head was stinging and her legs refused to move.
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