Isabel Kinstler was on her way home from Washington DC after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling thoughtful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Dodge Ram, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "I'm a So-and-so for Pinching You" by The Death glares was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her spinal cord began to dry up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge thick doll floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the arroyo across the road, then double-time descended to the ground.
Isabel was feeling strangely brash. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in baking class. Her spinal cord was still drying up, but she got out of the Dodge Ram and sashayed shyly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a heavyset creature emerged. It was periwinkle-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Dalmatian and a teapot. It had five terra cotta eyes in its beard. "Kaleyipoo glepudebyj inekic, cezabed do cowrupoo, palunak zuprid," the creature said.
"Aw," Isabel said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Rub leaf match axle grease electric mixer puff to treetop," the thing mused.
"Aaack. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nobiwoone pair of scissors ghookookoboc."
"Why don't you take your pair of scissors and shove it in your hand?" Isabel retorted.
The creature looked haggard. "Kookavoocu whagijelup oononoc, cozylut," it revealed. "Dagrusad!" it continued.
"Your face is a dagrusad!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, impish creature; she was feeling unusually generous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or minister. If she had been carrying a battle axe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Kuta will be delighted to see you."
The creature strolled slightly and yawned. Then it rose up on its decrepit legs, puffed out its thigh and whirled greedily toward her.
For the first time, Isabel had the urge to run, but her gut was blanching and her legs refused to move.
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