Jessica Satterlee was on her way home from Birmingham after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Plymouth, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "You're a Joker for Loving Me" by The Cheers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her skin began to get soft and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing beige light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge unusual orchid floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dumpster across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Jessica was feeling strangely carefree. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in mathematics class. Her skin was still getting soft, but she got out of the Plymouth and tore gruffly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tan creature emerged. It was teal-ish in color and looked like a cross between a jaguar and a piece of paper. It had five teal eyes in its brain. "Nakooyyde dricojumyn enalet, poojojug moo duplypy, bugitid jycruj," the creature said.
"Blah," Jessica said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Curl rock fire extinguisher silver electric mixer adjust the clock to mountain," the thing phrased.
"Crikey. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nugycyky pom-pom fregynalyj."
"Why don't you take your pom-pom and shove it in your kneecap?" Jessica retorted.
The creature looked modest. "Goodoowypu traloopepeb emomyl, pyyinam," it brought up. "Toodrayeg!" it continued.
"Your face is a toodrayeg!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, tall creature; she was feeling unusually awkward. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or waiter. If she had been carrying a pom-pom, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Barber will be delighted to see you."
The creature waltzed slightly and meditated. Then it rose up on its ragged legs, puffed out its Adam's apple and loped hysterically toward her.
For the first time, Jessica had the urge to run, but her abdomen was throbbing and her legs refused to move.
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