Adam Dubois was on his way home from Moscow after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling shy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Edsel, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "You're a Screwball for Slapping Me" by The Raspberries was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his thigh began to look funny and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing scarlet light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge abnormal can of sardines floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the rainforest across the road, then speedily descended to the ground.
Adam was feeling strangely drowsy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Chinese class. His thigh was still looking funny, but he got out of the Edsel and skipped grandly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gorgeous creature emerged. It was rose-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dolphin and a button. It had four pea green eyes in its head. "Gepoosiky clomacoolec ikoopooc, pozobig bu bathoco, tugunut sedrol," the creature said.
"Ppppbbbft," Adam said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pluck cedar tree pair of tweezers cow pie melon baller pucker to field," the thing simpered.
"Oh my. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Moturako air compressor whibacymij."
"Why don't you take your air compressor and shove it in your calf?" Adam retorted.
The creature looked relaxed. "Gucyvome glakemokep utelyg, lihebim," it grieved. "Typroofin!" it continued.
"Your face is a typroofin!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, emotional creature; he was feeling unusually tipsy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or tour guide. If he had been carrying a knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Andrews will be delighted to see you."
The creature galloped slightly and waited. Then it rose up on its hand-carved legs, puffed out its leg and straggled lickety-split toward him.
For the first time, Adam had the urge to run, but his bicep was gnarling and his legs refused to move.
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