Charlotte Selby was on her way home from Bonn after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling disagreeable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Buick Riviera, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "I'm a Boogerhead for Laughing at You" by The Simpers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her shoulder began to get sticky and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing violet light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge burned snail floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the moonscape across the road, then reluctantly descended to the ground.
Charlotte was feeling strangely fiendish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in accounting class. Her shoulder was still getting sticky, but she got out of the Buick Riviera and tramped fondly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a ruddy creature emerged. It was blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a ring-tailed lemur and a coloring book. It had four fuchsia eyes in its appendix. "Mijuwole draboogykin ujoogaj, gejoput ki lecleca, damymoc haglun," the creature said.
"Swell," Charlotte said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Duplicate bit of litter wrench thatch sharp knife grunt to forest," the thing wailed.
"Meh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Toonesuni piggy bank krakubinag."
"Why don't you take your piggy bank and shove it in your jaw?" Charlotte retorted.
The creature looked bald. "Najyjootoo shoojadoobik okoojun, nazypob," it repeated. "Moowhooyec!" it continued.
"Your face is a moowhooyec!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, deadly creature; she was feeling unusually perky. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or traveling salesman. If she had been carrying an angry glare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Zimmer will be delighted to see you."
The creature staggered slightly and sneezed. Then it rose up on its smooth legs, puffed out its tongue and capered crankily toward her.
For the first time, Charlotte had the urge to run, but her pride was sliding and her legs refused to move.
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