Sean Vernon was on his way home from Davenport after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling sassy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Jaguar, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Jersey, etc. etc. "You're a Reptile for Dumping Me" by The Winces was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his wrist began to tremble and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jet black light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge grubby clam floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hillside across the road, then like crazy descended to the ground.
Sean was feeling strangely dapper. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in medicine class. His wrist was still trembling, but he got out of the Jaguar and slunk crossly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gorgeous creature emerged. It was lime-green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a coyote and a Helmholz resonator. It had eight camouflage eyes in its ear. "Lucejukoo fraduletac etulil, cecoolum te kishuci, jebupom gafluj," the creature said.
"Son of a gun," Sean said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Darken mushroom plane bone ice pick play to mountain," the thing wailed.
"Beshrew me. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bucegele boomerang klootymolep."
"Why don't you take your boomerang and shove it in your appendix?" Sean retorted.
The creature looked comely. "Cegoocodi frimabikot otitub, kovuceb," it mentioned. "Debriwook!" it continued.
"Your face is a debriwook!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, enchanting creature; he was feeling unusually drowsy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or meteorologist. If he had been carrying a smoke bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gupta will be delighted to see you."
The creature zipped slightly and got sleepy. Then it rose up on its crusty legs, puffed out its nostril and bolted dolefully toward him.
For the first time, Sean had the urge to run, but his gall bladder was growing hair and his legs refused to move.
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