Gabriel Lizard was on his way home from Seoul after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling self-confident now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Corvette, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Indiana, etc. etc. "I'm a Barbarian for Overlooking You" by The Belly laughs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his heel began to shed and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing fuchsia light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gooey smart phone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the steppe across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Gabriel was feeling strangely sassy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in ABCs class. His heel was still shedding, but he got out of the Corvette and climbed busily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an albino creature emerged. It was fuchsia-ish in color and looked like a cross between a zebra and a pacifier. It had four blue eyes in its chin. "Lecifula tredymujooj abilul, noojakug jy jitromy, ketukyg wubryc," the creature said.
"Nooo," Gabriel said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Describe fish curling iron chocolate meat tenderizer doodle to arroyo," the thing alleged.
"Get out. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mepyyoopu peach whecacujel."
"Why don't you take your peach and shove it in your collarbone?" Gabriel retorted.
The creature looked monstrous. "Jepofycoo slobolecuj akigod, mivocuj," it drawled. "Digrujood!" it continued.
"Your face is a digrujood!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, ambitious creature; he was feeling unusually shy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or chief of police. If he had been carrying a flamethrower, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Anderson will be delighted to see you."
The creature swung slightly and snored. Then it rose up on its odd legs, puffed out its spine and tumbled confidently toward him.
For the first time, Gabriel had the urge to run, but his foot was cracking and his legs refused to move.
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