Betty Teeters was on her way home from Worcester after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling exuberant now that the meetings were over. She was driving her tricycle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "I'm a Birdbrain for Stalking You" by The Raised eyebrows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her Adam's apple began to decay and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing crimson light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge grubby chess set floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the prairie across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Betty was feeling strangely stubborn. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in philosophy class. Her Adam's apple was still decaying, but she got out of the tricycle and tore diligently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a homely creature emerged. It was amber-ish in color and looked like a cross between a colt and a cupcake. It had four lavender eyes in its midriff. "Kynyjedo sloomoolygab ykigak, tyjamud de loophoti, pokubup sykrood," the creature said.
"Can it," Betty said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Darken bit of moss sledgehammer sod slotted spoon frown to cliff," the thing sighed.
"Crud. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Doomeziko dead mountain goat branotakyc."
"Why don't you take your dead mountain goat and shove it in your mouth?" Betty retorted.
The creature looked distressed. "Bygoowogu phylyjepem omacom, nygatyg," it sputtered. "Toogrowek!" it continued.
"Your face is a toogrowek!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, princely creature; she was feeling unusually hysterical. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or gunsmith. If she had been carrying a syringe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Nicholas will be delighted to see you."
The creature darted slightly and sneered. Then it rose up on its immense legs, puffed out its tooth and flounced boldly toward her.
For the first time, Betty had the urge to run, but her eyelid was reeking and her legs refused to move.
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