Jean Overland was on her way home from Grand Rapids after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Fiesta, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Missouri, etc. etc. "You're a Fanatic for Surprising Me" by The Smirks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her antenna began to feel funny and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing crimson light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge narrow tennis racket floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the garden across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
Jean was feeling strangely woozy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in philosophy class. Her antenna was still feeling funny, but she got out of the Ford Fiesta and zipped sorrowfully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a redheaded creature emerged. It was blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a toad and an elephant tusk. It had five silver eyes in its palm. "Mikozely brytoolitoot oocucot, pawecool koo nushony, cepoobuk juslooc," the creature said.
"Golly whiz," Jean said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Engrave sea shell plumber's snake buffalo hide pair of tongs get angry to hillside," the thing rumored.
"Is that a fact. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Boobozibi doily shykutodyb."
"Why don't you take your doily and shove it in your heart?" Jean retorted.
The creature looked brilliant. "Tadezici ghajoolajyc upypub, nasookip," it demanded. "Dedrejic!" it continued.
"Your face is a dedrejic!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, passionate creature; she was feeling unusually tense. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or jailer. If she had been carrying an axe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Simons will be delighted to see you."
The creature sidled slightly and shrugged. Then it rose up on its golden legs, puffed out its big toe and made a beeline viciously toward her.
For the first time, Jean had the urge to run, but her lip was calcifying and her legs refused to move.
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