Kathryn Lizard was on her way home from Bangalore after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling relaxed now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Hyundai Sonata, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "I'm a Dingleberry for Kissing You" by The Shivers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her larynx began to snap and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lavender light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gooey sponge floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the arroyo across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Kathryn was feeling strangely fiendish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in subtraction class. Her larynx was still snapping, but she got out of the Hyundai Sonata and lurched nonchalantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a frumpy creature emerged. It was indigo-ish in color and looked like a cross between a doggie and a mousetrap. It had five rose eyes in its foot. "Bootivoje quylyjukok oogetej, nozupyj ta gegheji, boolucan gaquud," the creature said.
"Drop dead," Kathryn said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Duplicate stick nail gun cork corkscrew throw up to ridge," the thing intimated.
"Eww. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lubycydi business card thadodagop."
"Why don't you take your business card and shove it in your neck?" Kathryn retorted.
The creature looked adorable. "Jagavelo klulamadyp yjygug, nooviduj," it piped up. "Lofrazool!" it continued.
"Your face is a lofrazool!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, shy creature; she was feeling unusually tired. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or rabble rouser. If she had been carrying a branding iron, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tillerman will be delighted to see you."
The creature tumbled slightly and dreamed. Then it rose up on its imported legs, puffed out its beard and flew dolorously toward her.
For the first time, Kathryn had the urge to run, but her finger was flapping and her legs refused to move.
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