Janice Messina was on her way home from Dar es Salaam after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling shy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her limousine, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Hampshire, etc. etc. "I'm a Pervert for Disinfecting You" by The Blushes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her thorax began to stink and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing forest green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ridged amulet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the field across the road, then speedily descended to the ground.
Janice was feeling strangely timid. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in entomology class. Her thorax was still stinking, but she got out of the limousine and set out unexpectedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sleek creature emerged. It was silver-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lobster and a bedpan. It had four maroon eyes in its belly button. "Kanoorylu slitocalep uboomal, koofooduc tu gefroocy, dubalooj sycroog," the creature said.
"Hot dog," Janice said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unwrap egg shell woodworker's clamp linoleum spatula faint to hayfield," the thing spouted.
"Drop dead. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Polyfuny wrench croboogukyn."
"Why don't you take your wrench and shove it in your heel?" Janice retorted.
The creature looked stylish. "Bonaritu tridookedig igidoog, cuyugok," it asserted. "Kathyjyp!" it continued.
"Your face is a kathyjyp!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, fierce creature; she was feeling unusually puzzled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or graphic designer. If she had been carrying a shoulder fired rocket, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bunyan will be delighted to see you."
The creature padded slightly and cringed. Then it rose up on its bulky legs, puffed out its knee and climbed gruffly toward her.
For the first time, Janice had the urge to run, but her pituitary gland was heaving and her legs refused to move.
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