Marty Lister was on his way home from Houston after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Saturn, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "You're a Ninny for Recoiling from Me" by The Beams was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his toupee began to rattle and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chocolate brown light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fancy rose floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lakeside across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Marty was feeling strangely petulant. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in poetry class. His toupee was still rattling, but he got out of the Saturn and sallied forth victoriously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a roly-poly creature emerged. It was green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a fish and a clock. It had two maroon eyes in its lung. "Tadogidu whipekutem icijub, dozynoot ni goflijy, pebagoog cidrem," the creature said.
"At last," Marty said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Package apple tree broadaxe cloth ladle knit to path," the thing noted.
"Kapow. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tomihydy ball drudiluloc."
"Why don't you take your ball and shove it in your buttocks?" Marty retorted.
The creature looked forgetful. "Nikasootoo trupoogujim unoomet, luvupoc," it cackled. "Lootrooyun!" it continued.
"Your face is a lootrooyun!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, dismal creature; he was feeling unusually somber. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or mathematician. If he had been carrying a magic spell, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Trane will be delighted to see you."
The creature ambled slightly and sniffed. Then it rose up on its brightly-colored legs, puffed out its cheek and galumphed mysteriously toward him.
For the first time, Marty had the urge to run, but his head was waving and his legs refused to move.
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