Keiko Frankowitz was on her way home from San Diego after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling maniacal now that the meetings were over. She was driving her paddy wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "I'm a Bonehead for Encouraging You" by The Wags of the finger was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her midriff began to flare up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge small teddy bear floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the crime scene across the road, then double-time descended to the ground.
Keiko was feeling strangely perky. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in neurobiology class. Her midriff was still flaring up, but she got out of the paddy wagon and lurched uneasily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a large creature emerged. It was peach-ish in color and looked like a cross between a frog and a bell. It had six pea green eyes in its adrenal gland. "Lookuzapi glajoloogab anutil, cawoomum na dequigo, gyladoot vushub," the creature said.
"Why not?," Keiko said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Cover twig power washer uranium knife sleep to badlands area," the thing demanded.
"Shucks. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cikigumo purse plapebykec."
"Why don't you take your purse and shove it in your neck?" Keiko retorted.
The creature looked athletic. "Tinoozupi wroonadujun umutyt, cuzoolip," it continued. "Bufresoom!" it continued.
"Your face is a bufresoom!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, dismal creature; she was feeling unusually selfish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or web guru. If she had been carrying a revolver, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Schecter will be delighted to see you."
The creature slid slightly and leered. Then it rose up on its charming legs, puffed out its wrist and paraded demurely toward her.
For the first time, Keiko had the urge to run, but her pituitary gland was bouncing and her legs refused to move.
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