Antonio Miles was on his way home from Warren after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Firebird, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arizona, etc. etc. "You're a Blockhead for Chatting with Me" by The Raised eyebrows was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his tail began to darken and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge speckled peach floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassy knoll across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Antonio was feeling strangely amiable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in acupuncture class. His tail was still darkening, but he got out of the Firebird and padded daintily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gangling creature emerged. It was fuchsia-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rattlesnake and a knitting needle. It had four hot pink eyes in its thorax. "Jooberoopo grydinetag ymijej, nogooluj goo kyfloogy, japybok ciklyj," the creature said.
"Say what," Antonio said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Analyze bird's nest squeegee pillow foot slobber to outback," the thing whispered.
"Blast. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Datoozoogo brush glojidujaj."
"Why don't you take your brush and shove it in your face?" Antonio retorted.
The creature looked irate. "Tubigynoo shujonubik ikutut, koogootal," it howled. "Pogryfec!" it continued.
"Your face is a pogryfec!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, yappy creature; he was feeling unusually merry. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or phlebotomist. If he had been carrying a golf club, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Barry will be delighted to see you."
The creature lumbered slightly and gazed. Then it rose up on its papery legs, puffed out its eyelash and slunk perkily toward him.
For the first time, Antonio had the urge to run, but his eyebrow was scaling off and his legs refused to move.
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