Fiona Ostrander was on her way home from Montevideo after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling queer now that the meetings were over. She was driving her mail truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "I'm a Dirty dog for Imitating You" by The Laughs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hand began to bulge and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lime-green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge electric pair of knitting needles floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cornfield across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Fiona was feeling strangely timid. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in traditional medicine class. Her hand was still bulging, but she got out of the mail truck and scampered boldly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a winsome creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ass and a sack. It had eight khaki eyes in its chest. "Kumasoobo shanikenim ootyboog, moohugoog ki loothooni, bagykit joofrool," the creature said.
"So sure," Fiona said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Poke tree stump knife hay wooden spoon yawn to mountainside," the thing pointed out.
"Grody to the max. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Doopasapy stuffed bunny whonypudip."
"Why don't you take your stuffed bunny and shove it in your hand?" Fiona retorted.
The creature looked coy. "Debogudy tretopadip onenoom, necakum," it groaned. "Doglovoom!" it continued.
"Your face is a doglovoom!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, perky creature; she was feeling unusually selfish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or butler. If she had been carrying a piercing stare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ping will be delighted to see you."
The creature tramped slightly and hollered. Then it rose up on its flaky legs, puffed out its toe and flew softly toward her.
For the first time, Fiona had the urge to run, but her face was blistering and her legs refused to move.
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