Ethan Salinger was on his way home from Belfast after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling relaxed now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Gremlin, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "You're a Mush-for-brains for Aggravating Me" by The Belches was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his chest began to bleed and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing magenta light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge archaic protest sign floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the housing development across the road, then double-time descended to the ground.
Ethan was feeling strangely thoughtful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in calculus class. His chest was still bleeding, but he got out of the Gremlin and lumbered excitedly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a fit creature emerged. It was yellow-ish in color and looked like a cross between a jaguar and a fountain pen. It had seven lime-green eyes in its rib. "Koocyyitu klacanoogeb ypebub, meyapup too cuploote, minamat rathooj," the creature said.
"W00t," Ethan said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Spray raspberry bush plane stainless steel melon baller beg to wasteland," the thing inquired.
"Poof. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jatyryje stuffed kitten crooletatek."
"Why don't you take your stuffed kitten and shove it in your wrist?" Ethan retorted.
The creature looked crafty. "Doogihoone pluputikuk oodiluc, tezyloob," it persisted. "Neghogyg!" it continued.
"Your face is a neghogyg!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, gargantuan creature; he was feeling unusually muddled. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or scam artist. If he had been carrying an air freshener, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Campbell will be delighted to see you."
The creature sidled slightly and spat. Then it rose up on its queer legs, puffed out its wrist and bounded hopefully toward him.
For the first time, Ethan had the urge to run, but his eye was unraveling and his legs refused to move.
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