Todd MacGibbon was on his way home from Taipei after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling drowsy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his skateboard, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Vermont, etc. etc. "You're a Stooge for Rebuffing Me" by The Coos was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his eyebrow began to fester and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing navy blue light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge cheap fishing pole floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the neighborhood across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Todd was feeling strangely stubborn. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in English class. His eyebrow was still festering, but he got out of the skateboard and ambled joyously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pale creature emerged. It was yellow-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tsetse fly and an arrowhead. It had two indigo eyes in its pituitary gland. "Bycoozege pletebapeb udooded, cofuluj po caghooky, dootoobek vewrel," the creature said.
"Woohoo," Todd said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Slash fern mallet plaster blender flinch to cave," the thing repeated.
"Hold that thought. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dajeziju dead burro chucoocejil."
"Why don't you take your dead burro and shove it in your artery?" Todd retorted.
The creature looked sanguine. "Tukisoocoo fladoomenod ugujub, gyjeken," it accused. "Lothijat!" it continued.
"Your face is a lothijat!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, prissy creature; he was feeling unusually suave. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or television newscaster. If he had been carrying a scalpel, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Zhao will be delighted to see you."
The creature sailed slightly and screeched. Then it rose up on its multicolored legs, puffed out its wig and jumped blindly toward him.
For the first time, Todd had the urge to run, but his femur was dangling and his legs refused to move.
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