Fanny Simpson was on her way home from Irving after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling peckish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Falcon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Michigan, etc. etc. "I'm a Scurvy bilge rat for Bonding with You" by The Snuffles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her spleen began to unravel and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing metallic red light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge frilly gun floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the bog across the road, then smoothly descended to the ground.
Fanny was feeling strangely forgetful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in statistics class. Her spleen was still unraveling, but she got out of the Ford Falcon and jogged immediately toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gorgeous creature emerged. It was metallic red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a jaguar and a bowl. It had two navy blue eyes in its adrenal gland. "Kebavooma whikuganul ukogag, lizyjum koo nagrepu, cajacon vichyc," the creature said.
"Bullpuckey," Fanny said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Dye fish vacuum cleaner plutonium oven mitt twitch to bog," the thing argued.
"Quick. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lynuficoo toothbrush primoopemud."
"Why don't you take your toothbrush and shove it in your nose?" Fanny retorted.
The creature looked cuddly. "Mytoosuna thudobemom ijocib, jurujij," it moaned. "Cudreryt!" it continued.
"Your face is a cudreryt!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, witty creature; she was feeling unusually affable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or percussionist. If she had been carrying a can of pepper spray, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sims will be delighted to see you."
The creature sallied forth slightly and daydreamed. Then it rose up on its cheap legs, puffed out its calf and bolted sadly toward her.
For the first time, Fanny had the urge to run, but her thumb was rumbling and her legs refused to move.
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