Solomon Ferber was on his way home from Spokane after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling peculiar now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Buick Le Sabre, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "I'm an Idiot for Frowning at You" by The Guffaws was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his pride began to unravel and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing hot pink light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rare cream puff floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the garden across the road, then like mad descended to the ground.
Solomon was feeling strangely drowsy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in French class. His pride was still unraveling, but he got out of the Buick Le Sabre and cantered crossly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slender creature emerged. It was indigo-ish in color and looked like a cross between a camel and a hip flask. It had six green eyes in its earlobe. "Pigifipi ghocijilyj aboogot, pygemood da bophiky, domubin requep," the creature said.
"Oh well," Solomon said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Vacuum bit of litter soldering iron old newspaper candy thermometer purr to village," the thing cajoled.
"Caramba. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Looboruke stopwatch chinomimic."
"Why don't you take your stopwatch and shove it in your foot?" Solomon retorted.
The creature looked witty. "Mamyzooga thinebepook ymynyp, kysimyc," it screeched. "Bibrecep!" it continued.
"Your face is a bibrecep!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, brazen creature; he was feeling unusually queer. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or park ranger. If he had been carrying a can of Raid, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gustafson will be delighted to see you."
The creature trotted slightly and froze. Then it rose up on its woven legs, puffed out its pride and capered rapidly toward him.
For the first time, Solomon had the urge to run, but his adrenal gland was hissing and his legs refused to move.
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