Polly Davis was on her way home from Alexandria after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cruel now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Pontiac LeMans, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Carolina, etc. etc. "You're a Rat for Berating Me" by The Yawns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her little finger began to turn blue and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing teal light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge charming basketball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plain across the road, then hurriedly descended to the ground.
Polly was feeling strangely frantic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in medicine class. Her little finger was still turning blue, but she got out of the Pontiac LeMans and tore craftily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an elegant creature emerged. It was blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mountain goat and a roll of duct tape. It had three aqua eyes in its thyroid gland. "Goolifyce thuboojoojad ekookym, toofaloj bi looplooji, bapobyk joquad," the creature said.
"Ooh," Polly said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pinch weed polishing cloth ribbons blender clap to lakeside," the thing jeered.
"Eww. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gatooyyji whoopee cushion grylicipyt."
"Why don't you take your whoopee cushion and shove it in your eyebrow?" Polly retorted.
The creature looked gregarious. "Jopivabu quojabalim atopub, bavigut," it maintained. "Ditherug!" it continued.
"Your face is a ditherug!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, garrulous creature; she was feeling unusually self-confident. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or songwriter. If she had been carrying a golf club, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Palin will be delighted to see you."
The creature scurried slightly and played solitaire. Then it rose up on its grubby legs, puffed out its liver and inched testily toward her.
For the first time, Polly had the urge to run, but her appendix was overheating and her legs refused to move.
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