Cecelia Van Heusen was on her way home from Akron after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling selfish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Lincoln Town Car, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "You're a Twerp for Picking Me" by The Raised eyebrows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her lip began to flake off and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jade light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gruesome sea shell floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the village across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Cecelia was feeling strangely forgetful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Spanish class. Her lip was still flaking off, but she got out of the Lincoln Town Car and hopped awkwardly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dashing creature emerged. It was scarlet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a llama and a toilet plunger. It had three amber eyes in its calf. "Pookyyooje quipegadyt ybecom, gevakoot joo kaslunoo, golamyb coprec," the creature said.
"Cease and desist," Cecelia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Dislodge spider web paintbrush ribbons chopstick blink to battlefield," the thing chimed.
"Grrrrr. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Temahytoo curling iron chajudookyc."
"Why don't you take your curling iron and shove it in your scalp?" Cecelia retorted.
The creature looked cruel. "Nylajooma cloopanukyj adalub, cejocel," it vowed. "Jowracyj!" it continued.
"Your face is a jowracyj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, decisive creature; she was feeling unusually nervous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or farmer. If she had been carrying a broadsword, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ecklund will be delighted to see you."
The creature dove slightly and spat. Then it rose up on its polished legs, puffed out its foot and danced offhandedly toward her.
For the first time, Cecelia had the urge to run, but her big toe was scaling off and her legs refused to move.
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