Mim Schecter was on her way home from Buffalo after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling generous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her chariot, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "I'm a Rogue for Appeasing You" by The Coos was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her heel began to mold and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing grey light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hollow stuffed kitten floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seacoast across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Mim was feeling strangely relaxed. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Egyptology class. Her heel was still molding, but she got out of the chariot and jogged viciously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a thin creature emerged. It was turquoise-ish in color and looked like a cross between a beaver and an arrowhead. It had seven pea green eyes in its throat. "Pobujaki brelemetum okicak, mufijym mo keplado, poonomej viploom," the creature said.
"Gotta love it," Mim said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Wiggle cactus jigsaw wood grater vomit to outback," the thing shuddered.
"Good gracious. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bycozute Van Gogh shutymubyg."
"Why don't you take your Van Gogh and shove it in your thorax?" Mim retorted.
The creature looked repulsive. "Jygegooge chagucucad abenyj, toofamig," it asked. "Jepligyj!" it continued.
"Your face is a jepligyj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, resolute creature; she was feeling unusually lazy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or psychic. If she had been carrying a can of spray paint, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Nixon will be delighted to see you."
The creature scurried slightly and puffed. Then it rose up on its bizarre legs, puffed out its belly button and lurched cruelly toward her.
For the first time, Mim had the urge to run, but her dignity was dangling and her legs refused to move.
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