Lizzie Munich was on her way home from Berlin after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her handcart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "You're an Eager beaver for Amusing Me" by The Chuckles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her belly began to line up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing periwinkle light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge clean cage floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the steppe across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Lizzie was feeling strangely fiendish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in poetry class. Her belly was still lining up, but she got out of the handcart and trotted testily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an albino creature emerged. It was brilliant orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a beaver and a bird bath. It had three rose eyes in its eyebrow. "Loopuracy chudybetol ulidyc, kuvetac po laghaca, lapoboop yaklib," the creature said.
"Kazow," Lizzie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Chop poison ivy plant scrub brush muslin oven mitt chortle to seashore," the thing harangued.
"Weird. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Joopurelu padlock clumycomun."
"Why don't you take your padlock and shove it in your kidney?" Lizzie retorted.
The creature looked wizened. "Lunocobo krymijalen epijyl, liwoobup," it snarled. "Mathagut!" it continued.
"Your face is a mathagut!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, artistic creature; she was feeling unusually muddled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bellhop. If she had been carrying a water balloon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Brookshire will be delighted to see you."
The creature hopped slightly and ran away. Then it rose up on its ancient legs, puffed out its eyebrow and flounced boisterously toward her.
For the first time, Lizzie had the urge to run, but her elbow was getting wonky and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter