Leslie Kraft was on her way home from Buenos Aires after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling self-assured now that the meetings were over. She was driving her UFO, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Louse for Forgetting Me" by The Grunts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her abdomen began to glisten and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive drab light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rough candy cane floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the badlands area across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Leslie was feeling strangely distressed. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in aeronautics class. Her abdomen was still glistening, but she got out of the UFO and ambled truculently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spry creature emerged. It was pea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rabbit and a pencil sharpener. It had five polka dotted eyes in its eyelid. "Daniwanoo clutoolujud upycuk, desukyp mo ketrale, tekoomop fugryj," the creature said.
"Hot dog," Leslie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Admire maple tree trowel cement piece of cheesecloth look smart to glen," the thing persisted.
"Eek. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gydoogaji shoe klydukokoop."
"Why don't you take your shoe and shove it in your stomach?" Leslie retorted.
The creature looked radiant. "Moojyryci shitamelek ycynon, toyagoc," it declaimed. "Cegrihub!" it continued.
"Your face is a cegrihub!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, jaunty creature; she was feeling unusually resolute. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or snake charmer. If she had been carrying a blank stare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Kringle will be delighted to see you."
The creature jogged slightly and drooled. Then it rose up on its plastic legs, puffed out its neck and skittered strangely toward her.
For the first time, Leslie had the urge to run, but her midriff was crackling and her legs refused to move.
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