Nellie Soto was on her way home from Santa Fe after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Jeep, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Ohio, etc. etc. "You're a Clodhopper for Reeducating Me" by The Winks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her funny bone began to curl and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jade light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rusty cork floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the stream across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
Nellie was feeling strangely stubborn. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in geneaology class. Her funny bone was still curling, but she got out of the Jeep and sashayed awkwardly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an elegant creature emerged. It was polka dotted-ish in color and looked like a cross between an elk and a dead lamb. It had seven black eyes in its lip. "Doodysibo ghibylynek oojoocem, juvycij dy cashuloo, kejibuc vudrooc," the creature said.
"Get outta here," Nellie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Leave bear track scraper clay oven mitt watch to pond," the thing begged.
"Good gravy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mopefopu billiard ball whigogecook."
"Why don't you take your billiard ball and shove it in your liver?" Nellie retorted.
The creature looked wicked. "Tyjusooboo phojategeb ooganop, lojoobic," it alleged. "Duphafap!" it continued.
"Your face is a duphafap!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, nervous creature; she was feeling unusually cautious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or technician. If she had been carrying a lance, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Henderson will be delighted to see you."
The creature marched slightly and pondered. Then it rose up on its hand-carved legs, puffed out its hangnail and ran smoothly toward her.
For the first time, Nellie had the urge to run, but her eye was spinning and her legs refused to move.
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