Celeste Fretwell was on her way home from Austin after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cantankerous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her rocket pack, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "You're a Rascal for Smacking Me" by The Laughs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her lip began to quiver and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aqua light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge waxy bag of potato chips floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the backyard across the road, then speedily descended to the ground.
Celeste was feeling strangely perky. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in musicianship class. Her lip was still quivering, but she got out of the rocket pack and tore delicately toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gorgeous creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a badger and a bicycle. It had four maroon eyes in its finger. "Pogyrula whopocogig eminib, goosylic mo lighooci, culacaj woglod," the creature said.
"Never mind," Celeste said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Brandish stone drill aluminum foil egg cutter grow up to garden," the thing babbled.
"What the devil. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Monusipe coupon brodoocudyb."
"Why don't you take your coupon and shove it in your eye?" Celeste retorted.
The creature looked unselfish. "Muperiga fledekokyc ubicot, bywoonut," it wept. "Nagriyel!" it continued.
"Your face is a nagriyel!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, high-strung creature; she was feeling unusually decisive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or plumber. If she had been carrying a political action committee, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Yale will be delighted to see you."
The creature waddled slightly and backed down. Then it rose up on its gruesome legs, puffed out its dignity and sprinted urgently toward her.
For the first time, Celeste had the urge to run, but her midriff was dropping off and her legs refused to move.
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