Christine Hudson was on her way home from Lancaster after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling perky now that the meetings were over. She was driving her GMC pickup, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kentucky, etc. etc. "I'm a Hoodlum for Jumping on You" by The Cringes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her toe began to tremble and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing salmon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge autographed cardboard box floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountain across the road, then actively descended to the ground.
Christine was feeling strangely lethargic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in entomology class. Her toe was still trembling, but she got out of the GMC pickup and slunk urgently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an undersized creature emerged. It was fuchsia-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mustang and a painting. It had seven maroon eyes in its little finger. "Mymozoola gridupapad ygacad, moogetoj ku jykleda, cylytul weplej," the creature said.
"I'll bet," Christine said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Open tree punch muslin garlic press burp to creek," the thing worried.
"Oh please. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tujyyula paper towel krolonoobob."
"Why don't you take your paper towel and shove it in your skull?" Christine retorted.
The creature looked depraved. "Mupisytu drenapunol ylucoj, bayojoog," it breathed. "Giquuyon!" it continued.
"Your face is a giquuyon!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, ungainly creature; she was feeling unusually cunning. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or contractor. If she had been carrying a shiv, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hill will be delighted to see you."
The creature lurched slightly and paused. Then it rose up on its charming legs, puffed out its scalp and ambled menacingly toward her.
For the first time, Christine had the urge to run, but her eyelash was unraveling and her legs refused to move.
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