Stella Kling was on her way home from Oakland after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lazy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her dog cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Mangy rascal for Judging Me" by The Roars was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her artery began to melt and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing emerald green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge authentic battery floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the park across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Stella was feeling strangely cruel. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in geography class. Her artery was still melting, but she got out of the dog cart and waltzed frenetically toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a scraggly creature emerged. It was olive drab-ish in color and looked like a cross between a German Shepherd and a pinwheel. It had three black eyes in its lung. "Maboofika wragukoopib ojulod, gejalat doo bewhugi, jojoomoc fefrup," the creature said.
"Nice," Stella said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Expose mushroom protractor enamel garlic press groan to dumpster," the thing groveled.
"Whoa baby. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lylisecy hair brush choonutylub."
"Why don't you take your hair brush and shove it in your tummy?" Stella retorted.
The creature looked idiotic. "Podifoka dryjunypoob omilup, bojalyn," it ranted. "Myfrerid!" it continued.
"Your face is a myfrerid!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sarcastic creature; she was feeling unusually tipsy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or marine biologist. If she had been carrying a billy club, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Allison will be delighted to see you."
The creature swaggered slightly and grinned. Then it rose up on its wooden legs, puffed out its artery and barrelled impatiently toward her.
For the first time, Stella had the urge to run, but her leg was calcifying and her legs refused to move.
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