Monica Thurman was on her way home from Moscow after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling furious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevrolet Impala, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maryland, etc. etc. "I'm a So-and-so for Quoting You" by The Evil eyes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her big toe began to spread and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing scarlet light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crooked Van Gogh floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the moonscape across the road, then speedily descended to the ground.
Monica was feeling strangely brash. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in carpentry class. Her big toe was still spreading, but she got out of the Chevrolet Impala and stormed needlessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an alert creature emerged. It was beige-ish in color and looked like a cross between a raven and a box of candy. It had four khaki eyes in its vein. "Mogegilu ghatoodyped ogydyg, nirojooj nu jyquoope, loocepyj cypryk," the creature said.
"Poof," Monica said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Slam apple tree razor blade cement turkey baster bark to housing development," the thing simpered.
"Oh my. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Laticeju Happy Meal prinubojoon."
"Why don't you take your Happy Meal and shove it in your little toe?" Monica retorted.
The creature looked sweet. "Nojyveky shookookaneg edibok, dyhykom," it screeched. "Dyflewin!" it continued.
"Your face is a dyflewin!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, solitary creature; she was feeling unusually cantankerous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or pawnbroker. If she had been carrying a stash of bribe money, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Lions will be delighted to see you."
The creature swung slightly and stared into space. Then it rose up on its hand-made legs, puffed out its tummy and sailed tensely toward her.
For the first time, Monica had the urge to run, but her toe was flapping and her legs refused to move.
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