Lynette Running Bird was on her way home from Spokane after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling selfish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Oldsmobile Cutlass, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Missouri, etc. etc. "You're a Big oaf for Licking Me" by The Death glares was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her midriff began to vibrate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crusty Bible floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the valley across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Lynette was feeling strangely tired. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in addition class. Her midriff was still vibrating, but she got out of the Oldsmobile Cutlass and slid humbly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tattooed creature emerged. It was pea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ox and a spoon. It had four violet eyes in its ear. "Mitosuga plotolopen ejylep, bosunot li kishabu, lyjikak hushat," the creature said.
"Sure," Lynette said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Score wildflower pipe wrench styrofoam paring knife rejoice to creek," the thing uttered.
"Eeek. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pogoowudoo crate ghumanukan."
"Why don't you take your crate and shove it in your tummy?" Lynette retorted.
The creature looked stinky. "Toojigoopa croopymyjoop yloobig, tasacom," it accused. "Pughocyj!" it continued.
"Your face is a pughocyj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, nervous creature; she was feeling unusually shy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or correctional officer. If she had been carrying a piercing stare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Soto will be delighted to see you."
The creature trekked slightly and jumped. Then it rose up on its expensive legs, puffed out its tooth and walked grudgingly toward her.
For the first time, Lynette had the urge to run, but her tooth was oscillating and her legs refused to move.
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