Pinky Marino was on his way home from Bogotá after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling pensive now that the meetings were over. He was driving his fire engine, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arizona, etc. etc. "I'm a Blatherskite for Believing in You" by The Beams was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his knuckle began to shed and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge papery cookbook floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the country meadow across the road, then moderately descended to the ground.
Pinky was feeling strangely tipsy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in meteorology class. His knuckle was still shedding, but he got out of the fire engine and stalked slowly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a beautiful creature emerged. It was red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a quail and a coat check ticket. It had three scarlet eyes in its heel. "Jumoowemi gronenadij opaguc, pyjygun la cocludu, poboopuj wiquooj," the creature said.
"Yeehah," Pinky said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Wallop tree branch hammer linoleum ladle wobble to pasture," the thing shouted.
"Sacre bleu. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Loodefydo beach ball dredoojejub."
"Why don't you take your beach ball and shove it in your hand?" Pinky retorted.
The creature looked gentle. "Deperoce dragekoted ydoocag, gyculok," it protested. "Getrugud!" it continued.
"Your face is a getrugud!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, colorless creature; he was feeling unusually somber. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or weatherman. If he had been carrying an axe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Weiner will be delighted to see you."
The creature scampered slightly and grew up. Then it rose up on its puzzling legs, puffed out its hangnail and sneaked despondently toward him.
For the first time, Pinky had the urge to run, but his ego was itching and his legs refused to move.
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