Abraham Bertrand was on his way home from Auckland after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling desperate now that the meetings were over. He was driving his pickup, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nevada, etc. etc. "I'm a Dingleberry for Quieting You" by The Shivers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his ear began to wiggle and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aquamarine light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge authentic pair of fuzzy dice floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the landfill across the road, then like crazy descended to the ground.
Abraham was feeling strangely perky. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in evolutionary biology class. His ear was still wiggling, but he got out of the pickup and pranced lamely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dark creature emerged. It was brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bandicoot and a pickle. It had six lavender eyes in its fingernail. "Pemovoli frekecoobod ykabyp, moovynob le moowrabo, tunytul wytrom," the creature said.
"Touché," Abraham said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hurl spider web hole punch matchstick candy thermometer mumble to river," the thing realized.
"Fiddlesticks. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Looboocooja balloon chootycoocun."
"Why don't you take your balloon and shove it in your eyebrow?" Abraham retorted.
The creature looked calm. "Nanoocanoo slacootiget ipylec, boyunig," it recited. "Bygrusooc!" it continued.
"Your face is a bygrusooc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, furry creature; he was feeling unusually sarcastic. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or bar owner. If he had been carrying a fishing pole, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Halperin will be delighted to see you."
The creature scooted slightly and flailed. Then it rose up on its electronic legs, puffed out its little finger and swung fervently toward him.
For the first time, Abraham had the urge to run, but his vein was exploding and his legs refused to move.
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