Ahmed Jones was on his way home from Jersey City after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling affable now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Firebird, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "I'm an Imp for Poisoning You" by The Yawns was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his earlobe began to spread and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lavender light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge cotton bone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the island across the road, then leadenly descended to the ground.
Ahmed was feeling strangely stubborn. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in physics class. His earlobe was still spreading, but he got out of the Firebird and climbed deftly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a little creature emerged. It was indigo-ish in color and looked like a cross between an anaconda and a knitting needle. It had eight jet black eyes in its nostril. "Nootywejy kritunebum ymyjop, pihigan by pypholi, bitenud gofrin," the creature said.
"Rats," Ahmed said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Spray tree stump paintbrush rock paring knife fantasize to buffalo wallow," the thing screeched.
"Shazam. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gacocukoo roll of toilet paper klejilejyb."
"Why don't you take your roll of toilet paper and shove it in your ego?" Ahmed retorted.
The creature looked obnoxious. "Kobyweci shukygabog imepooc, kuyogeb," it pointed out. "Guquawel!" it continued.
"Your face is a guquawel!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, tall creature; he was feeling unusually queer. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or florist. If he had been carrying a blow pipe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Romer will be delighted to see you."
The creature made a beeline slightly and bawled. Then it rose up on its porcelain legs, puffed out its brain and tore tenderly toward him.
For the first time, Ahmed had the urge to run, but his hand was irritating and his legs refused to move.
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