Doris Bowman was on her way home from Glasgow after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling muddled now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ferrari, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Tennessee, etc. etc. "I'm a Sap for Ridiculing You" by The Grunts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyelash began to dissolve and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chocolate brown light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge musty paper towel floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the glen across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
Doris was feeling strangely exuberant. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in horticulture class. Her eyelash was still dissolving, but she got out of the Ferrari and scurried automatically toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a little creature emerged. It was striped-ish in color and looked like a cross between a canary and a piece of candy. It had three sea green eyes in its shoulder. "Mudegyte glapygytub edepij, bojoobyj po tigrabe, mykacap yushab," the creature said.
"Help," Doris said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unlock leaf pair of scissors feather fork crouch to cornfield," the thing sniped.
"Bingo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pookariga horseshoe dramecajan."
"Why don't you take your horseshoe and shove it in your wig?" Doris retorted.
The creature looked sanguine. "Nituzyme whojinedib edulet, cijytok," it shrieked. "Ciwroofok!" it continued.
"Your face is a ciwroofok!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, mindless creature; she was feeling unusually irate. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or nomadic sheepherder. If she had been carrying a butterfly net, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Baldwin will be delighted to see you."
The creature dashed slightly and snickered. Then it rose up on its bulky legs, puffed out its throat and scooted breathlessly toward her.
For the first time, Doris had the urge to run, but her larynx was festering and her legs refused to move.
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