Pablo Roberts was on his way home from Halifax after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. He was driving his police car, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Hampshire, etc. etc. "I'm a Boor for Lying to You" by The Power fists was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his hoof began to decay and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge electric stuffed kitten floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gulch across the road, then promptly descended to the ground.
Pablo was feeling strangely desperate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in entomology class. His hoof was still decaying, but he got out of the police car and tiptoed courageously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an albino creature emerged. It was red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bunny and a Barbie doll. It had seven metallic red eyes in its neck. "Lelurene phutejobooc ypemyp, gycoguc po giwrugy, ginylep yichyl," the creature said.
"Ultimate," Pablo said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Plasticize leaf woodworker's clamp drywall candy thermometer grumble to mountaintop," the thing commented.
"Hurray. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Geluyama bottle of perfume placimoocyb."
"Why don't you take your bottle of perfume and shove it in your pride?" Pablo retorted.
The creature looked tired. "Mabooyica plodoocoodot ygoolun, nifoodal," it rebutted. "Citrosin!" it continued.
"Your face is a citrosin!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, affable creature; he was feeling unusually self-confident. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or bus driver. If he had been carrying a Millwall brick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Chesney will be delighted to see you."
The creature swaggered slightly and moaned. Then it rose up on its mysterious legs, puffed out its wig and set out peevishly toward him.
For the first time, Pablo had the urge to run, but his collarbone was rumbling and his legs refused to move.
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