Gillian Dodd was on her way home from Montevideo after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling affable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her perambulator, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arizona, etc. etc. "You're a mirror for Patting Me" by The Backward glances was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her foot began to droop and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing periwinkle light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge colossal cell phone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dumpster across the road, then leadenly descended to the ground.
Gillian was feeling strangely generous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in dressage class. Her foot was still drooping, but she got out of the perambulator and staggered resignedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sexy creature emerged. It was sea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rooster and a diamond. It had seven sea green eyes in its thigh. "Ceboocidy wrokojoonak ynekam, dysetog pe pyglyboo, mopodaj yoshoot," the creature said.
"Weird," Gillian said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Decontaminate maple tree vacuum cleaner lace sharp knife grunt to rainforest," the thing gabbed.
"Alrighty-roo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pootyvygy billiard ball grogadoojoot."
"Why don't you take your billiard ball and shove it in your lip?" Gillian retorted.
The creature looked furry. "Nojerooty thatadylyk ekatooc, lyzulat," it conversed. "Pophufed!" it continued.
"Your face is a pophufed!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, refined creature; she was feeling unusually pensive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or upholsterer. If she had been carrying a blunderbuss, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Wolfe will be delighted to see you."
The creature waddled slightly and waited. Then it rose up on its fancy legs, puffed out its tummy and proceeded doubtfully toward her.
For the first time, Gillian had the urge to run, but her foot was getting scaly and her legs refused to move.
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