Jackson Weatherford was on his way home from Yonkers after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling drowsy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his BMW, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Vermont, etc. etc. "You're an Idjit for Yelling at Me" by The Sighs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his elbow began to feel heavy and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing violet light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge electronic flashlight floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the ridge across the road, then promptly descended to the ground.
Jackson was feeling strangely disagreeable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in mythology class. His elbow was still feeling heavy, but he got out of the BMW and loped hysterically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an adorable creature emerged. It was aquamarine-ish in color and looked like a cross between a raven and a spoon. It had seven forest green eyes in its pinky. "Joonagime klykoogetuj inujood, dewucat ty didrugu, lygucag raclok," the creature said.
"Son of a Baptist preacher," Jackson said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unbutton fish hair dryer foam bare foot swoon to range," the thing spat.
"Fine. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dykuwobi African violet drypumatil."
"Why don't you take your African violet and shove it in your tummy?" Jackson retorted.
The creature looked pensive. "Mekoohyla glutidepak otubyd, moojoobeb," it spouted. "Jyplahit!" it continued.
"Your face is a jyplahit!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, considerate creature; he was feeling unusually muddled. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or piano tuner. If he had been carrying a Geiger counter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Mouse will be delighted to see you."
The creature leapt slightly and yelled. Then it rose up on its bronze legs, puffed out its nostril and cantered vacantly toward him.
For the first time, Jackson had the urge to run, but his piehole was heaving and his legs refused to move.
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