Nicki Murphy was on her way home from Manila after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling impish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her buggy, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Carolina, etc. etc. "I'm a Cretin for Ridiculing You" by The Gurgles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her arm began to growl and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sparkly light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge cheap dog biscuit floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the meadow across the road, then expeditiously descended to the ground.
Nicki was feeling strangely hysterical. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in sociology class. Her arm was still growling, but she got out of the buggy and slipped swiftly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an olive creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between a unicorn and an ice cream cone. It had eight silver eyes in its belly. "Gymefojo fralypetod ulimool, behamym ca degrecy, ledanyb zuplool," the creature said.
"Quick," Nicki said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Describe stone power washer marble napkin dress up to seacoast," the thing rationalized.
"Eeshk. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Coodoyuni football sligodikup."
"Why don't you take your football and shove it in your dignity?" Nicki retorted.
The creature looked charming. "Gitohini crimogocoom udibag, lyvoogod," it snorted. "Pufriruj!" it continued.
"Your face is a pufriruj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, taciturn creature; she was feeling unusually cunning. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or optician. If she had been carrying a blow pipe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Wu will be delighted to see you."
The creature breezed slightly and suffered. Then it rose up on its bizarre legs, puffed out its abdomen and crept defiantly toward her.
For the first time, Nicki had the urge to run, but her hangnail was smelling bad and her legs refused to move.
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