Audrey Van Dorn was on her way home from New Delhi after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sassy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Hyundai Sonata, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "I'm an Idiot for Analyzing You" by The Chuckles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her knee began to hiss and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing red light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge papery toilet plunger floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the oasis across the road, then passively descended to the ground.
Audrey was feeling strangely humble. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in traditional medicine class. Her knee was still hissing, but she got out of the Hyundai Sonata and rolled peevishly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cadaverous creature emerged. It was terra cotta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Dalmatian and a fishing pole. It had two black eyes in its finger. "Meluvalu thamudyjoj onucit, juziluc tu takleca, kootolood fooclik," the creature said.
"Oh please," Audrey said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Freeze maple tree curling iron leather ice pick swallow to forest," the thing brought up.
"Criminy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pibevucoo ruler flamupakoom."
"Why don't you take your ruler and shove it in your front tooth?" Audrey retorted.
The creature looked polite. "Jetaweloo quojokityp ymucun, pajenuc," it yelled. "Kooshurum!" it continued.
"Your face is a kooshurum!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, presumptuous creature; she was feeling unusually shy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or counselor. If she had been carrying a lasso, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Whitlock will be delighted to see you."
The creature lurched slightly and cogitated. Then it rose up on its coarse legs, puffed out its earlobe and sped sheepishly toward her.
For the first time, Audrey had the urge to run, but her eye was getting scaly and her legs refused to move.
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