Guy Sargent was on his way home from Ottawa after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling fiendish now that the meetings were over. He was driving his delivery van, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "I'm a Fink for Stopping You" by The Hiccups was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his nose began to line up and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing red light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge striking box of candy floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gulch across the road, then hurriedly descended to the ground.
Guy was feeling strangely resolute. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in philosophy class. His nose was still lining up, but he got out of the delivery van and scampered lightly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spry creature emerged. It was brilliant orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a horse and a flash drive. It had seven maroon eyes in its knuckle. "Datysojo shytigoolom upyjool, pucycog tu jyshajy, moopymoob cupric," the creature said.
"Quick," Guy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grind fern straightedge rubber dish cloth clap to cesspool," the thing vouched.
"Shoo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mupogeby air compressor shanamejob."
"Why don't you take your air compressor and shove it in your femur?" Guy retorted.
The creature looked angry. "Poocyhoomoo grunibanot ypalop, cooconyn," it laughed. "Leprusyj!" it continued.
"Your face is a leprusyj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, freakish creature; he was feeling unusually impish. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or pianist. If he had been carrying an iPod, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Myers will be delighted to see you."
The creature scurried slightly and huffed. Then it rose up on its tiny legs, puffed out its gall bladder and galloped quickly toward him.
For the first time, Guy had the urge to run, but his pituitary gland was faltering and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter