Eleanor Weatherford was on her way home from Long Beach after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling maniacal now that the meetings were over. She was driving her garbage truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Louisiana, etc. etc. "I'm a Dolt for Befuddling You" by The Face palms was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hairdo began to turn yellow and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge dirty soccer ball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the meadow across the road, then expeditiously descended to the ground.
Eleanor was feeling strangely crafty. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in economics class. Her hairdo was still turning yellow, but she got out of the garbage truck and scurried furiously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an angelic creature emerged. It was brilliant orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Doberman and a shovel. It had eight orange eyes in its elbow. "Koboowitoo prakokukap ydamyj, nehejeg ny pywhedy, judaceb wiplet," the creature said.
"I've had it," Eleanor said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Select cedar tree soldering iron fiberglass turkey baster screech to country meadow," the thing begged.
"Hold that thought. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jokyfody chamber pot phipookookuk."
"Why don't you take your chamber pot and shove it in your tail?" Eleanor retorted.
The creature looked enchanting. "Toopyyetu plobylomoc oopalat, kujyman," it announced. "Doodrowet!" it continued.
"Your face is a doodrowet!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, prickly creature; she was feeling unusually carefree. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or optician. If she had been carrying a stick of dynamite, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Thurman will be delighted to see you."
The creature slid slightly and backed down. Then it rose up on its abnormal legs, puffed out its lip and crept miserably toward her.
For the first time, Eleanor had the urge to run, but her forehead was sinking and her legs refused to move.
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