Otto Gray was on his way home from Nairobi after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling sarcastic now that the meetings were over. He was driving his BMW, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Jersey, etc. etc. "I'm a Nerd for Teasing You" by The Cheers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his thumb began to dangle and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chocolate brown light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge peculiar piggy bank floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the river across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Otto was feeling strangely somber. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in manners class. His thumb was still dangling, but he got out of the BMW and paraded cunningly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a chubby creature emerged. It was magenta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rooster and a hacksaw. It had eight aquamarine eyes in its thigh. "Pymecoona kroodanigyn yculaj, kisamek ce giclugoo, pijadyc cithyg," the creature said.
"Hot dog," Otto said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Enshrine tree branch pair of pliers plaster of Paris pastry blender sniff to path," the thing warbled.
"Moo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pajufoone stamp flooboogoobin."
"Why don't you take your stamp and shove it in your bicep?" Otto retorted.
The creature looked muscular. "Dypowaba dratyledyt ajotop, bawabap," it ranted. "Kyglovip!" it continued.
"Your face is a kyglovip!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, decisive creature; he was feeling unusually sassy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or bar owner. If he had been carrying a silver bullet, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Oggendorf will be delighted to see you."
The creature galloped slightly and puckered. Then it rose up on its nice legs, puffed out its beard and padded brashly toward him.
For the first time, Otto had the urge to run, but his arm was going nuts and his legs refused to move.
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