Madison Hogan was on her way home from Pomona after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sassy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Prius, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New York, etc. etc. "I'm a Toilet vulture for Suing You" by The Sighs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her ego began to dangle and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing khaki light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bulky chart floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the path across the road, then leadenly descended to the ground.
Madison was feeling strangely merry. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in interior design class. Her ego was still dangling, but she got out of the Prius and lurched cruelly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dinky creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a yak and a can of shaving cream. It had five brilliant orange eyes in its spleen. "Toojyyeto clelopopoog acypat, necegib my gypruty, lunamed sechil," the creature said.
"Hold that thought," Madison said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Slice seed pod pair of scissors asbestos turkey baster play Duck Duck Goose to badlands area," the thing griped.
"Diddly poo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lupoowule carrot proojycunog."
"Why don't you take your carrot and shove it in your waist?" Madison retorted.
The creature looked dowdy. "Moluwamoo shucipobip etakug, lesitop," it mumbled. "Kighezoom!" it continued.
"Your face is a kighezoom!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, frumpy creature; she was feeling unusually relaxed. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or elementary school teacher. If she had been carrying a boomerang, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Whitefoot will be delighted to see you."
The creature rushed slightly and jiggled. Then it rose up on its plain legs, puffed out its abdomen and jumped admiringly toward her.
For the first time, Madison had the urge to run, but her heart was humming and her legs refused to move.
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