Julia Hughes was on her way home from Winston-Salem after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling merry now that the meetings were over. She was driving her chariot, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "I'm a Good-for-nothing for Educating You" by The Shouts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her heel began to warp and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chartreuse light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fancy mop floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the park across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Julia was feeling strangely woozy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in sociology class. Her heel was still warping, but she got out of the chariot and dove swiftly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a petite creature emerged. It was brilliant orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a garter snake and a baby doll. It had eight grey eyes in its shin. "Noogejoopoo gralidootig obadud, jeyamun je jislati, dukakub roophol," the creature said.
"Of course," Julia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Drench mulberry tree powder puff enamel oven mitt party to wasteland," the thing chuckled.
"Uh-oh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kigivina crayon chadatinuj."
"Why don't you take your crayon and shove it in your chin?" Julia retorted.
The creature looked somber. "Noologoole quelinoonuj etoopup, kojycid," it chimed. "Beghevep!" it continued.
"Your face is a beghevep!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, cowardly creature; she was feeling unusually tipsy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or auto mechanic. If she had been carrying a sword, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Provenzano will be delighted to see you."
The creature padded slightly and exhaled. Then it rose up on its automatic legs, puffed out its spine and straggled fervently toward her.
For the first time, Julia had the urge to run, but her larynx was sticking and her legs refused to move.
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