Albert Bennett was on his way home from Shreveport after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling selfish now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Oldsmobile, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nevada, etc. etc. "You're a Culprit for Reeducating Me" by The Cheers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his antenna began to get cold and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing khaki light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge expensive paperclip floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the countryside across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
Albert was feeling strangely awkward. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in art class. His antenna was still getting cold, but he got out of the Oldsmobile and zoomed boisterously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a flabby creature emerged. It was jade-ish in color and looked like a cross between a penguin and a china doll. It had five peach eyes in its calf. "Kujoohipo prenybetil yjygig, mofygen ty kokrotu, pugynij sepred," the creature said.
"Out of this world," Albert said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Wrap stick flashlight wattle and daub dish cloth chuckle to cliff," the thing nattered.
"Hold that thought. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jonuzade plaque flydyjookool."
"Why don't you take your plaque and shove it in your forehead?" Albert retorted.
The creature looked tall. "Totegoomoo quogipenil etapic, gahamyk," it bawled. "Begrusat!" it continued.
"Your face is a begrusat!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, beautiful creature; he was feeling unusually angry. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or stamp collector. If he had been carrying a bayonette, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Grigsby will be delighted to see you."
The creature breezed slightly and bounced. Then it rose up on its wooden legs, puffed out its midriff and galloped grandly toward him.
For the first time, Albert had the urge to run, but his liver was hanging down and his legs refused to move.
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