Luther Ryan was on his way home from San Antonio after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling angry now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Smart Car, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Rhode Island, etc. etc. "You're a Cheater for Relying on Me" by The Beams was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his elbow began to fester and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing polka dotted light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge charming basket floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the arroyo across the road, then like a bat out of hell descended to the ground.
Luther was feeling strangely amiable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in underwater basket weaving class. His elbow was still festering, but he got out of the Smart Car and tore violently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cadaverous creature emerged. It was rose-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rat and a twig. It had two azure eyes in its hip. "Jituheto klapoomatok enukuc, gyfuned nu pachela, pupitep cyshuk," the creature said.
"Fantastic," Luther said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Squash leaf tire gauge titanium slotted spoon chatter to beach," the thing muttered.
"Yipes. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cikoozane paperweight plikudebood."
"Why don't you take your paperweight and shove it in your funny bone?" Luther retorted.
The creature looked furious. "Pojecooti slanookanooc oolybul, dyzelim," it burbled. "Teclefec!" it continued.
"Your face is a teclefec!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, unruffled creature; he was feeling unusually cruel. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or church usher. If he had been carrying a paddle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Jetson will be delighted to see you."
The creature hopped slightly and preached. Then it rose up on its speckled legs, puffed out its esophagus and darted wearily toward him.
For the first time, Luther had the urge to run, but his earlobe was perspiring and his legs refused to move.
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