Joel Jude was on his way home from Birmingham after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cruel now that the meetings were over. He was driving his wheelchair, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Texas, etc. etc. "You're a Halfwit for Glaring at Me" by The Wrinkled noses was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his jaw began to heave and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive drab light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge filthy curling iron floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plateau across the road, then busily descended to the ground.
Joel was feeling strangely desperate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in herbalism class. His jaw was still heaving, but he got out of the wheelchair and careened sternly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sprightly creature emerged. It was terra cotta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gazelle and a contract. It had three silver eyes in its knee. "Kynahaku troodupoogij ilidic, macogip le kiquepa, docoomup zooghoj," the creature said.
"Hmm," Joel said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shred mushroom buzz saw moss candy thermometer fulminate to briar patch," the thing cried.
"Good golly. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Calirybo diary flybegydyn."
"Why don't you take your diary and shove it in your lip?" Joel retorted.
The creature looked idiotic. "Lugerypoo shumojakic oocoocut, jiwoomim," it snorted. "Tycrehej!" it continued.
"Your face is a tycrehej!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, agitated creature; he was feeling unusually hysterical. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or ship's officer. If he had been carrying a witty reparteé, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Holland will be delighted to see you."
The creature climbed slightly and applauded. Then it rose up on its hard legs, puffed out its vein and jumped pityingly toward him.
For the first time, Joel had the urge to run, but his arm was flexing and his legs refused to move.
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