Bailey Berry was on her way home from Denver after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling brash now that the meetings were over. She was driving her black sedan, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "I'm an Imp for Misleading You" by The Sniffles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her nose began to get soft and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing blue light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge prickly picture floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the glen across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Bailey was feeling strangely awkward. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Latin class. Her nose was still getting soft, but she got out of the black sedan and dashed numbly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an eye-catching creature emerged. It was green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bat and a rubber chicken. It had four burgundy eyes in its gall bladder. "Dujufyno quynojikat ipilyd, koohepod doo poowryme, konotyl fychyn," the creature said.
"Goodness me," Bailey said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Manage tree branch dust cloth post and beam pair of chopsticks grumble to meadow," the thing mouthed.
"Shazam. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gygigoojoo dog biscuit brijunutyd."
"Why don't you take your dog biscuit and shove it in your chin?" Bailey retorted.
The creature looked comely. "Nikacoono cloboopabot adugum, tucoocam," it added. "Bephuyed!" it continued.
"Your face is a bephuyed!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, unselfish creature; she was feeling unusually humble. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or marine biologist. If she had been carrying a hedge trimmer, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Dole will be delighted to see you."
The creature jogged slightly and dressed up. Then it rose up on its overgrown legs, puffed out its Achilles tendon and swaggered sweetly toward her.
For the first time, Bailey had the urge to run, but her palm was ringing and her legs refused to move.
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