Rosario Wolfe was on his way home from Savannah after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling maniacal now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Suzuki Wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "I'm an Idjit for Boring You" by The Yawns was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his leg began to get emotional and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge heavy cowbell floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the forest across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
Rosario was feeling strangely calm. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in government class. His leg was still getting emotional, but he got out of the Suzuki Wagon and tiptoed coolly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a chubby creature emerged. It was brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a monster and a cactus plant. It had four sea green eyes in its kneecap. "Mylowojy ghunucegat utokoon, nacypit coo bawrooboo, kujootood sytrom," the creature said.
"Remarkable," Rosario said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Lengthen flower torque wrench Kevlar blender clear out to mountain," the thing chuckled.
"Avast. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Boocijyto salt shaker ghecokoocyk."
"Why don't you take your salt shaker and shove it in your larynx?" Rosario retorted.
The creature looked coy. "Getereloo chekoogakib upetop, dyzabop," it piped up. "Gofliraj!" it continued.
"Your face is a gofliraj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, gregarious creature; he was feeling unusually desperate. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or massage therapist. If he had been carrying a slingshot, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Orman will be delighted to see you."
The creature sashayed slightly and thought. Then it rose up on its worn legs, puffed out its toe and breezed stealthily toward him.
For the first time, Rosario had the urge to run, but his Adam's apple was perspiring and his legs refused to move.
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