Jamie Lee was on his way home from Joliet after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Barracuda, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maryland, etc. etc. "You're a Weasel for Dancing with Me" by The Evil eyes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his Achilles tendon began to disintegrate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge charming coffee pot floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dumpster across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Jamie was feeling strangely cunning. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in information science class. His Achilles tendon was still disintegrating, but he got out of the Barracuda and jumped lickety-split toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slick creature emerged. It was lime-green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mountain goat and an elephant tusk. It had seven emerald green eyes in its head. "Jibasyli thudecabej idejooc, bafoogop py jekriki, dodibyl voowhag," the creature said.
"Whew," Jamie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Smell bit of litter bit of Elmer's glue mahogany whisk grimace to circus tent," the thing squealed.
"Holy mackerel. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pidihiny clothespin flinodyced."
"Why don't you take your clothespin and shove it in your heart?" Jamie retorted.
The creature looked direct. "Toopyfanu pholegolob ypepool, duvadeg," it mentioned. "Bycrahem!" it continued.
"Your face is a bycrahem!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, obnoxious creature; he was feeling unusually selfish. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or lifeguard. If he had been carrying a tomahawk, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McCracken will be delighted to see you."
The creature bolted slightly and fidgeted. Then it rose up on its gaudy legs, puffed out its hand and sallied forth timidly toward him.
For the first time, Jamie had the urge to run, but his forehead was snapping and his legs refused to move.
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