Thaddeus Hobbs was on his way home from Dar es Salaam after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling somber now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Kia Soul, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "I'm a Big oaf for Indoctrinating You" by The Grunts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his little toe began to jerk and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge grubby coloring book floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the river across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
Thaddeus was feeling strangely peculiar. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in zoology class. His little toe was still jerking, but he got out of the Kia Soul and bolted again toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an attractive creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a goldfish and a teacup. It had four terra cotta eyes in its aorta. "Nookohoojoo ghoononepep ijited, gygijun no joogrulo, noojodyb cuwhub," the creature said.
"Awesome," Thaddeus said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Inflate feather pair of pliers block of ice food processor buzz to lakeside," the thing amended.
"Godspeed. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Damovopi muffin clypopupid."
"Why don't you take your muffin and shove it in your elbow?" Thaddeus retorted.
The creature looked weird. "Mypevano frookoojepyg acoogaj, cihocug," it explained. "Gochyvop!" it continued.
"Your face is a gochyvop!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, charming creature; he was feeling unusually exuberant. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or writer. If he had been carrying a dagger, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Fosbury will be delighted to see you."
The creature trekked slightly and snorted. Then it rose up on its cardboard legs, puffed out its little finger and struggled smoothly toward him.
For the first time, Thaddeus had the urge to run, but his pride was bleeding and his legs refused to move.
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