Devon Harper was on his way home from Scottsdale after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling affable now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Mustang Convertible, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Indiana, etc. etc. "You're a Snake for Grabbing Me" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his back began to ooze and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chocolate brown light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge excellent tube of glue floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the meadow across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Devon was feeling strangely brave. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in herbalism class. His back was still oozing, but he got out of the Mustang Convertible and dashed diligently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sprightly creature emerged. It was burgundy-ish in color and looked like a cross between a meerkat and a ruler. It had five grey eyes in its finger. "Tinooreje froocokupic edybop, byfoojip poo bakleli, tekomub riphoj," the creature said.
"Exaltations," Devon said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Mark bit of litter sponge cloth basting brush sniffle to mountainside," the thing shouted.
"Lo and behold. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jojoovyne bilge pump kloopymujug."
"Why don't you take your bilge pump and shove it in your mouth?" Devon retorted.
The creature looked disagreeable. "Libyjaboo quucogegan egucyk, joogijoc," it wondered. "Dighuyik!" it continued.
"Your face is a dighuyik!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, yappy creature; he was feeling unusually sassy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or fourth grade teacher. If he had been carrying a musket, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bates will be delighted to see you."
The creature straggled slightly and swallowed. Then it rose up on its rare legs, puffed out its tail and galumphed pitifully toward him.
For the first time, Devon had the urge to run, but his appendix was hurting and his legs refused to move.
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