Frances Sitting Bird was on her way home from Porto Alegre after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sober now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagon Beetle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Pennsylvania, etc. etc. "I'm a Cretin for Speaking to You" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her Adam's apple began to curl and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge mechanical pacifier floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the meadow across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Frances was feeling strangely hysterical. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in horticulture class. Her Adam's apple was still curling, but she got out of the Volkswagon Beetle and tiptoed sarcastically toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blue-eyed creature emerged. It was lavender-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cockatiel and a corncob. It had seven aqua eyes in its leg. "Gotahypy ploolugulug etugooj, kyrijat ky lypleboo, nyjipic zefril," the creature said.
"Outstanding," Frances said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Ignore piece of driftwood pipe wrench foil foot fall asleep to mountainside," the thing bellowed.
"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Todasacoo peace pipe whooducugoop."
"Why don't you take your peace pipe and shove it in your intestine?" Frances retorted.
The creature looked elderly. "Jybigepi shyjaducul opojen, byzidum," it appealed. "Tetruhyg!" it continued.
"Your face is a tetruhyg!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, enchanting creature; she was feeling unusually angry. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bounty hunter. If she had been carrying a ukulele, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Jensen will be delighted to see you."
The creature rushed slightly and dealt cards. Then it rose up on its chic legs, puffed out its toe and barrelled obediently toward her.
For the first time, Frances had the urge to run, but her hangnail was faltering and her legs refused to move.
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