Dick Rowling was on his way home from Canberra after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling humble now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Hyundai Sonata, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "You're a Vile viper for Scaring Me" by The Pouts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his collarbone began to heave and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing crimson light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge delicate salt shaker floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the neighborhood across the road, then fleetly descended to the ground.
Dick was feeling strangely nervous. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in social studies class. His collarbone was still heaving, but he got out of the Hyundai Sonata and sneaked softly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a small creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between a walrus and a coloring book. It had five forest green eyes in its head. "Pookozebo phitobocab oolokic, meryluc ga doocrooka, bootujek sooprul," the creature said.
"Zap," Dick said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Flush wildflower saw chocolate chopstick scratch to swamp," the thing boasted.
"Ay caramba. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kygecydoo candle ghacynupyd."
"Why don't you take your candle and shove it in your abdomen?" Dick retorted.
The creature looked zany. "Topiwoona planogucek oobiloob, doosimil," it roared. "Nycruyyt!" it continued.
"Your face is a nycruyyt!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, disgusting creature; he was feeling unusually modest. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or winemaker. If he had been carrying a pair of bare hands, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Yang will be delighted to see you."
The creature sneaked slightly and chortled. Then it rose up on its multicolored legs, puffed out its palm and tiptoed mysteriously toward him.
For the first time, Dick had the urge to run, but his shoulder was getting hot and his legs refused to move.
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