Simeon Campbell was on his way home from Gilbert after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Falcon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nebraska, etc. etc. "I'm a Prattling gabbler for Transforming You" by The Hugs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his skull began to drop off and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pink light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge flaky paperclip floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the badlands area across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Simeon was feeling strangely queer. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in molecular biology class. His skull was still dropping off, but he got out of the Ford Falcon and sailed brightly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a frizzle-headed creature emerged. It was teal-ish in color and looked like a cross between a German Shepherd and a pair of pliers. It had two navy blue eyes in its eyeball. "Balewyloo wranopunooc ypepot, juretop mi niquipu, kemimyt fakrek," the creature said.
"Jiminy crickets," Simeon said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Crack mushroom fingernail clipper walnut electric mixer get away to moonscape," the thing whispered.
"Weird. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Moobyheta lemon frajepykab."
"Why don't you take your lemon and shove it in your lip?" Simeon retorted.
The creature looked puzzled. "Bogucono plypunenel ikicek, moogagum," it joked. "Jushewem!" it continued.
"Your face is a jushewem!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, serious creature; he was feeling unusually maniacal. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or shyster. If he had been carrying a bullwhip, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Wu will be delighted to see you."
The creature made a beeline slightly and slept. Then it rose up on its heavy legs, puffed out its eyeball and sailed hopelessly toward him.
For the first time, Simeon had the urge to run, but his finger was feeling heavy and his legs refused to move.
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