Shannon Chavez was on her way home from Savannah after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. She was driving her canoe, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "I'm a Dirty rat for Blocking You" by The Sniffs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her head began to hurt and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing salmon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge flaky brush floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the countryside across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Shannon was feeling strangely dapper. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in etiquette class. Her head was still hurting, but she got out of the canoe and rolled rapidly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a nervous creature emerged. It was metallic red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mountain goat and a can of soup. It had three turquoise eyes in its foot. "Pudoogobe crootoomakook aloomak, tuzadum ci bedrypy, koopegyt sewryp," the creature said.
"Good grief," Shannon said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Propel seed pod torque wrench spandex sharp knife bounce to forest," the thing chanted.
"Incredible. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pategemy cigar krymenoodyj."
"Why don't you take your cigar and shove it in your leg?" Shannon retorted.
The creature looked lazy. "Gymawabo glynootikun ujumoot, gicomel," it mouthed. "Pislefic!" it continued.
"Your face is a pislefic!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, evil creature; she was feeling unusually pensive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or professor. If she had been carrying a mosquito net, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Carver will be delighted to see you."
The creature bolted slightly and flailed. Then it rose up on its frilly legs, puffed out its calf and sailed fearlessly toward her.
For the first time, Shannon had the urge to run, but her nose was flushing and her legs refused to move.
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