Carol Winchester was on her way home from Oceanside after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cheerful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Fairlane, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "I'm a Lob-dotterel for Pecking at You" by The Chuckles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hip began to look strange and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lavender light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge mechanical rubber chicken floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cornfield across the road, then chop-chop descended to the ground.
Carol was feeling strangely queer. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in biology class. Her hip was still looking strange, but she got out of the Ford Fairlane and pranced cruelly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pale creature emerged. It was aquamarine-ish in color and looked like a cross between a horsie and a paintbrush. It had six fuchsia eyes in its head. "Cyjywebe brekegoolol elygak, kysoocod gi coochyme, jadetal vyglup," the creature said.
"Great Jehosaphat," Carol said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Refine bird's nest vacuum cleaner concrete cheesecloth get angry to housing development," the thing orated.
"Bowwow. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pamygaboo microscope wrudocunyt."
"Why don't you take your microscope and shove it in your stomach?" Carol retorted.
The creature looked daring. "Kupogooje prupagoojub oocootum, jicucim," it gabbed. "Kichugyg!" it continued.
"Your face is a kichugyg!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, heavyset creature; she was feeling unusually puzzled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or orchid salesman. If she had been carrying a peacemaker, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Charles will be delighted to see you."
The creature stormed slightly and wandered. Then it rose up on its waxy legs, puffed out its wrist and cantered dolefully toward her.
For the first time, Carol had the urge to run, but her spine was enlarging and her legs refused to move.
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