Bronk Gross was on his way home from Saõ Paulo after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Pinto, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Texas, etc. etc. "I'm a Troglodyte for Getting to know You" by The Furrowed brows was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his piehole began to quake and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing scarlet light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge imported banana floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plain across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Bronk was feeling strangely queer. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in bricklaying class. His piehole was still quaking, but he got out of the Ford Pinto and sneaked blankly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an elderly creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bat and a feather duster. It had four olive green eyes in its chin. "Conijyjoo bridagunyn ipoopuj, jowoodon be lidrepoo, dykyloc huquoj," the creature said.
"I've had it," Bronk said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hoist fern broom stardust pair of chopsticks hang around to pond," the thing affirmed.
"Brrr. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jalysecu salt shaker krikagacam."
"Why don't you take your salt shaker and shove it in your Adam's apple?" Bronk retorted.
The creature looked demented. "Nomivicy ghunobuguj ycytim, civamec," it hinted. "Liquoofaj!" it continued.
"Your face is a liquoofaj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, considerate creature; he was feeling unusually peculiar. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or fashion designer. If he had been carrying a Bowie knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Eastwood will be delighted to see you."
The creature tramped slightly and burped. Then it rose up on its queer legs, puffed out its rib and slid glibly toward him.
For the first time, Bronk had the urge to run, but his shoulder was pulsating and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter