Xenia McDonald was on her way home from Hanoi after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling merry now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Nissan Leaf, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nebraska, etc. etc. "You're a Wannabe for Bonding with Me" by The Raspberries was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her little finger began to harden and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brown light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rusty shovel floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the briar patch across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Xenia was feeling strangely calm. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in dance class. Her little finger was still hardening, but she got out of the Nissan Leaf and rushed greedily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a frumpy creature emerged. It was white-ish in color and looked like a cross between a fawn and a pop bottle. It had eight lime-green eyes in its fingernail. "Kykafyja ghoopocemij ygogep, myjopooc ji tooslooki, kyjijyd cebrooc," the creature said.
"@#%#^@%$@!," Xenia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Close bit of moss pair of pliers granite dull knife stare into space to treetop," the thing laughed.
"Uh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mocavite feather duster flepucojij."
"Why don't you take your feather duster and shove it in your knuckle?" Xenia retorted.
The creature looked sophisticated. "Natugedy crodimanooj obookob, cewoolel," it questioned. "Nuwrisol!" it continued.
"Your face is a nuwrisol!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, unruffled creature; she was feeling unusually muddled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or interior designer. If she had been carrying a boomerang, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McDiggles will be delighted to see you."
The creature zoomed slightly and hung around. Then it rose up on its stolen legs, puffed out its bladder and proceeded admiringly toward her.
For the first time, Xenia had the urge to run, but her nostril was moving and her legs refused to move.
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