Robin Yastremski was on his way home from Tampa after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling queer now that the meetings were over. He was driving his skateboard, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kansas, etc. etc. "You're an Old coot for Hugging Me" by The Gurgles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his knee began to sting and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fabulous cane floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the island across the road, then like a snail descended to the ground.
Robin was feeling strangely muddled. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in aeronautics class. His knee was still stinging, but he got out of the skateboard and tiptoed stupidly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a delicate creature emerged. It was blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a robot and a stamp. It had three red eyes in its jaw. "Lanoozito krudijugoob ooculug, kiyybab je joocrooku, kedatyb juwryc," the creature said.
"Peachy-keen," Robin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Submerse piece of driftwood protractor flour paste egg cutter take a bath to plateau," the thing pronounced.
"Alas. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dylohooke tube of toothpaste croopoojumug."
"Why don't you take your tube of toothpaste and shove it in your buttocks?" Robin retorted.
The creature looked self-confident. "Cunocooge gragyjucyn ajajoj, biroocooj," it concluded. "Nyquoovooc!" it continued.
"Your face is a nyquoovooc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, happy creature; he was feeling unusually sober. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or DoorDash driver. If he had been carrying an angry glare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Yager will be delighted to see you."
The creature marched slightly and whirled. Then it rose up on its bent legs, puffed out its heart and tiptoed hopelessly toward him.
For the first time, Robin had the urge to run, but his larynx was exploding and his legs refused to move.
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