Justin Morrison was on his way home from Spokane after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling self-confident now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "I'm a Whippersnapper for Outwitting You" by The Blushes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his skin began to shine and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge flexible lollipop floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the swamp across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Justin was feeling strangely queer. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in obedience class. His skin was still shining, but he got out of the Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow and stalked energetically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a grubby creature emerged. It was brilliant orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a basset hound and a piggy bank. It had six chartreuse eyes in its shin. "Dytycacoo shoobopepun apulel, nyfijyp pa gaquebe, pucylib ceclig," the creature said.
"Moo," Justin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hoist mulberry tree wire cutter rammed earth pair of chopsticks dress up to park," the thing persisted.
"Gosh darn. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tegozaly box of Kleenex glilemilyt."
"Why don't you take your box of Kleenex and shove it in your earlobe?" Justin retorted.
The creature looked eccentric. "Coodozemo critobuceg ajootoon, gucoolec," it hollered. "Liploowib!" it continued.
"Your face is a liploowib!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, cruel creature; he was feeling unusually tense. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or physical therapist. If he had been carrying an insect repellant, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Feldman will be delighted to see you."
The creature scooted slightly and grinned. Then it rose up on its ancient legs, puffed out its thyroid gland and traipsed ignobly toward him.
For the first time, Justin had the urge to run, but his gut was heaving and his legs refused to move.
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