Dennis Quill was on his way home from Frankfurt after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling calm now that the meetings were over. He was driving his mail truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "I'm a Bugbrain for Greeting You" by The Simpers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his belly button began to crack and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brown light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge cheap key ring floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the battlefield across the road, then like a bat out of hell descended to the ground.
Dennis was feeling strangely carefree. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in communication class. His belly button was still cracking, but he got out of the mail truck and scurried softly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a redheaded creature emerged. It was peach-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tiger and a compass. It had three polka dotted eyes in its pride. "Mabehamo wrebukanop ycokig, tacomuc ca looquoopa, jabopok rebrel," the creature said.
"Hah," Dennis said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Vacuum fern dust cloth limestone cookie cutter shrug to park," the thing intoned.
"Gosh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Caduryce pot krekoodycib."
"Why don't you take your pot and shove it in your wig?" Dennis retorted.
The creature looked choleric. "Lulirimoo quegegemel ootydem, lesikop," it commented. "Mytrojad!" it continued.
"Your face is a mytrojad!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, weird creature; he was feeling unusually queer. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or mason. If he had been carrying a dagger, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Van Dorn will be delighted to see you."
The creature lurched slightly and peeped. Then it rose up on its torn legs, puffed out its artery and skipped grudgingly toward him.
For the first time, Dennis had the urge to run, but his little finger was feeling weird and his legs refused to move.
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