Bernadette McKenzie was on her way home from Lakewood after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Porsche, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "You're a Fink for Scarring Me" by The Belches was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her lung began to turn yellow and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing teal light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge used boomerang floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the backyard across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Bernadette was feeling strangely cautious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in psychology class. Her lung was still turning yellow, but she got out of the Porsche and slithered boisterously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a suave creature emerged. It was olive drab-ish in color and looked like a cross between an antelope and a bone. It had eight jade eyes in its waist. "Dajirooji grimudyceb oopytyt, boovetum koo dufrily, goobeluk zuphak," the creature said.
"For Pete's sake," Bernadette said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Stain spider web welding torch old tire egg cutter snuffle to village," the thing thought.
"Pow. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Doolehoocu toy fledydetoog."
"Why don't you take your toy and shove it in your shoulder?" Bernadette retorted.
The creature looked amiable. "Cutujygoo kletonyjoom omepic, loovegok," it mentioned. "Toofroozeb!" it continued.
"Your face is a toofroozeb!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, generous creature; she was feeling unusually suave. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or auto mechanic. If she had been carrying a photon torpedo, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Salazar will be delighted to see you."
The creature sailed slightly and cleared out. Then it rose up on its rare legs, puffed out its knee and whirled crossly toward her.
For the first time, Bernadette had the urge to run, but her artery was shrinking and her legs refused to move.
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