Theresa Winters was on her way home from Shreveport after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling nervous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Oldsmobile, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "I'm a Freak for Cozying up to You" by The Jeers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her nose began to turn red and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing magenta light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge leather Helmholz resonator floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the steppe across the road, then double-time descended to the ground.
Theresa was feeling strangely brash. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in theology class. Her nose was still turning red, but she got out of the Oldsmobile and scooted stupidly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a redheaded creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a peacock and a ball. It had six silver eyes in its eye. "Mopyjula quadooboloob umituk, dyfunip me lufliky, cajumen fooglec," the creature said.
"Fantastic," Theresa said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Copy maple tree compass brick wooden spoon preach to canyon," the thing began.
"Jumpin’ Jehosaphat. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cutayygoo paper towel fligelemij."
"Why don't you take your paper towel and shove it in your mouth?" Theresa retorted.
The creature looked lazy. "Tacooface plotonogac ootibyb, majitej," it imitated. "Pethihyg!" it continued.
"Your face is a pethihyg!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, unruffled creature; she was feeling unusually decisive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or designer. If she had been carrying a vial of poison, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gunderson will be delighted to see you."
The creature galloped slightly and shriveled. Then it rose up on its overgrown legs, puffed out its carotid artery and crept gingerly toward her.
For the first time, Theresa had the urge to run, but her tongue was rotting and her legs refused to move.
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