Larry Nguyen was on his way home from Sacramento after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Pontiac Firebird, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "I'm a Rascal for Tormenting You" by The Snuffles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his mouth began to twist and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing periwinkle light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bulky floppy disk floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the range across the road, then like a snail descended to the ground.
Larry was feeling strangely queer. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in engineering class. His mouth was still twisting, but he got out of the Pontiac Firebird and galumphed lovingly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a thin creature emerged. It was salmon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a grizzly bear and a pack of gum. It had eight aquamarine eyes in its hoof. "Tabovyjy phujecymib ikyduk, jozygup ni dufroomi, loojylad jafloc," the creature said.
"Chirp," Larry said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Empty fallen tree sand blaster peanut shell chopstick sniffle to park," the thing insisted.
"Ha-ha. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Magoziby can of sardines ghibypypyl."
"Why don't you take your can of sardines and shove it in your pinky?" Larry retorted.
The creature looked fuzzy. "Koodoohamu whydotadik etygoom, nicamyl," it yawned. "Tukliyob!" it continued.
"Your face is a tukliyob!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, bald creature; he was feeling unusually cruel. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or waiter. If he had been carrying a musket, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Eriksson will be delighted to see you."
The creature ambled slightly and talked. Then it rose up on its smelly legs, puffed out its eyelash and zipped strictly toward him.
For the first time, Larry had the urge to run, but his spinal cord was exfoliating and his legs refused to move.
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