Greta Witherbee was on her way home from Birmingham after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lethargic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Impala, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Pennsylvania, etc. etc. "You're a Troglodyte for Cozying up to Me" by The Backward glances was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her belly began to turn green and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing striped light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge tiny fishing rod floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the creek across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Greta was feeling strangely peculiar. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in carpentry class. Her belly was still turning green, but she got out of the Chevy Impala and slipped mysteriously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a heavyset creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a troll and a cork. It had seven aquamarine eyes in its wrist. "Cujigibu grapatoobid akotad, cijobeg pi kichajy, comulood jaklul," the creature said.
"Bleep," Greta said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Deliver sea shell cotton swab polystyrene paring knife curtsey to grassy knoll," the thing winked.
"Gee whiz. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kykicoojy doll frynookapyp."
"Why don't you take your doll and shove it in your adrenal gland?" Greta retorted.
The creature looked jaunty. "Dukozyjo flilopomid ebupac, jowonym," it smirked. "Kipliron!" it continued.
"Your face is a kipliron!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, decisive creature; she was feeling unusually pensive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or fireman. If she had been carrying a dirt clod, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President German will be delighted to see you."
The creature slipped slightly and sniffed. Then it rose up on its scarlet legs, puffed out its gut and stormed ferociously toward her.
For the first time, Greta had the urge to run, but her hair was flaring up and her legs refused to move.
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