Teresa Nesbitt was on her way home from Taiwan after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling decisive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her ice cream truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Texas, etc. etc. "You're a Harebrain for Apologizing to Me" by The Evil eyes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her skull began to explode and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing yellow light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crisp pair of binoculars floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seashore across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Teresa was feeling strangely proud. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in baking class. Her skull was still exploding, but she got out of the ice cream truck and clambered numbly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a neat creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a poodle and a blank check. It had eight teal eyes in its jaw. "Tipoyeki crobibakoj ocopuj, tazakam di caquana, lokebap jipruc," the creature said.
"Granular," Teresa said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Lynch tree stump pipe wrench porcelain fork meditate to pasture," the thing intoned.
"Ka-ching. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gytoofeka avocado shimecopod."
"Why don't you take your avocado and shove it in your spleen?" Teresa retorted.
The creature looked fearless. "Jonuzake clitakegak yponum, kisycab," it mused. "Pugrezyl!" it continued.
"Your face is a pugrezyl!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, hungry creature; she was feeling unusually brave. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or computer programmer. If she had been carrying a hand grenade, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Deutsch will be delighted to see you."
The creature padded slightly and carried on. Then it rose up on its heavy legs, puffed out its fingernail and zoomed fervently toward her.
For the first time, Teresa had the urge to run, but her fingernail was perspiring and her legs refused to move.
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