Kevin Borovich was on his way home from Stockton after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling frantic now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Subaru, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Mexico, etc. etc. "I'm a Troublemaker for Subduing You" by The Finger guns was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his toupee began to blanch and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing emerald green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge polka-dotted pillow floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the river across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Kevin was feeling strangely lethargic. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in math class. His toupee was still blanching, but he got out of the Subaru and clambered sweetly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a frail creature emerged. It was olive drab-ish in color and looked like a cross between a crab and a rose. It had three scarlet eyes in its mouth. "Tupafate phacudekig emyjood, jovelul je moquoota, petepug rewhol," the creature said.
"Fribblenootums," Kevin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Swat wolf track garden hoe Bakelite spatula freeze to country meadow," the thing whimpered.
"Holy moley. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nakufagu twig proomonoocyj."
"Why don't you take your twig and shove it in your earlobe?" Kevin retorted.
The creature looked precocious. "Tocezydi quobyjypyp ypojoc, buvoobaj," it conversed. "Jocroocal!" it continued.
"Your face is a jocroocal!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, agile creature; he was feeling unusually resolute. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or fruit picker. If he had been carrying a lance, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Brady will be delighted to see you."
The creature scurried slightly and wandered. Then it rose up on its odd legs, puffed out its toenail and lumbered menacingly toward him.
For the first time, Kevin had the urge to run, but his head was hissing and his legs refused to move.
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