Jean Peng was on her way home from Quebec after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling modest now that the meetings were over. She was driving her carriage, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "You're a Hound dog for Transforming Me" by The Sneezes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her front tooth began to wither and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge wet saw floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the outback across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Jean was feeling strangely decisive. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in penmanship class. Her front tooth was still withering, but she got out of the carriage and flew languidly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spindly creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between a giraffe and a coat hanger. It had five teal eyes in its lung. "Kucoowojo thycacoocad ejebib, mofugin ly tykreba, katulooc soprog," the creature said.
"Meow," Jean said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Burn weed wrench tin sharp knife chatter to crime scene," the thing asserted.
"So sure. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kookuguki photograph plodonimyk."
"Why don't you take your photograph and shove it in your arm?" Jean retorted.
The creature looked garrulous. "Comohoco druloogitin emodoon, mycutam," it protested. "Jogrifyj!" it continued.
"Your face is a jogrifyj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sociable creature; she was feeling unusually timid. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or cartographer. If she had been carrying a smoke bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ulster will be delighted to see you."
The creature slunk slightly and chortled. Then it rose up on its rough legs, puffed out its head and slumped breathlessly toward her.
For the first time, Jean had the urge to run, but her shin was spreading and her legs refused to move.
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