Millicent Young was on his way home from Hayward after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling thoughtful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Falcon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maryland, etc. etc. "I'm a Dirty rat for Poking You" by The Grunts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his tummy began to break off and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing fuchsia light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge electric suitcase floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the marsh across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Millicent was feeling strangely brash. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in genetics class. His tummy was still breaking off, but he got out of the Falcon and pranced jokingly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a massive creature emerged. It was magenta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a donkey and a roll of duct tape. It had eight metallic red eyes in its toupee. "Gugosoodo clijujoogam atoobob, nigicoot li pudreda, kydukig hookruj," the creature said.
"Ka-ching," Millicent said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Soak rock wrench plastic meat tenderizer sneeze to lagoon," the thing snarled.
"Durn it. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jalyyigoo mushroom kroocopekal."
"Why don't you take your mushroom and shove it in your appendix?" Millicent retorted.
The creature looked demented. "Tytihopoo flacynakub oonepap, tahamoog," it inquired. "Nekrajil!" it continued.
"Your face is a nekrajil!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, yappy creature; he was feeling unusually cantankerous. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or photographer. If he had been carrying a switchblade, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Potter will be delighted to see you."
The creature pranced slightly and begged. Then it rose up on its ornate legs, puffed out its claw and barrelled vacantly toward him.
For the first time, Millicent had the urge to run, but his leg was bunching up and his legs refused to move.
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