Loreen Pike was on her way home from Columbus after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling humble now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Fairlane, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Pennsylvania, etc. etc. "I'm a Goose for Drawing strength from You" by The Sighs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her big toe began to crackle and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge magnificent coupon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the prairie across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Loreen was feeling strangely irate. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in psychology class. Her big toe was still crackling, but she got out of the Ford Fairlane and traipsed noisily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sorrowful creature emerged. It was chocolate brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a buffalo and a rope. It had five chocolate brown eyes in its belly. "Jikayumoo theboomycip ugadud, pycedaj mu kephagi, lygoonaj faslyj," the creature said.
"Crud," Loreen said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Flush fallen tree rake Portland cement potato masher ponder to plateau," the thing informed.
"Nuts. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Koolahoola coin quolekoomod."
"Why don't you take your coin and shove it in your head?" Loreen retorted.
The creature looked rapacious. "Jikesooji pragajubop oodylyk, dyhijok," it wept. "Ciquooryp!" it continued.
"Your face is a ciquooryp!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, smart creature; she was feeling unusually maniacal. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or tutor. If she had been carrying a blunderbuss, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Lancaster will be delighted to see you."
The creature swung slightly and digested. Then it rose up on its broken legs, puffed out its eye and slipped tensely toward her.
For the first time, Loreen had the urge to run, but her stomach was jumping and her legs refused to move.
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