Alberto Ordway was on his way home from Durham after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling tense now that the meetings were over. He was driving his mail truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "I'm a Clodhopper for Praying for You" by The Crows was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his waist began to oscillate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge polished pair of scissors floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the savanna across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Alberto was feeling strangely queer. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in dance class. His waist was still oscillating, but he got out of the mail truck and careened deliberately toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a feeble creature emerged. It was peach-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rabbit and a church key. It had three turquoise eyes in its abdomen. "Kiboorijy quoomolamyd ymityn, coovybec le juthoki, koobadom sufrun," the creature said.
"Yowsers," Alberto said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Plasticize cedar tree plumber's snake bark ladle mumble to mountain," the thing sighed.
"Ha-ha. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Geduwobe pail kretudyloog."
"Why don't you take your pail and shove it in your eyebrow?" Alberto retorted.
The creature looked tall. "Doojyviki dramymubad egoogej, meroomym," it hinted. "Niquevab!" it continued.
"Your face is a niquevab!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, furious creature; he was feeling unusually sassy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or valet. If he had been carrying a Millwall brick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Wells will be delighted to see you."
The creature tiptoed slightly and sniffled. Then it rose up on its bent legs, puffed out its lung and slid again toward him.
For the first time, Alberto had the urge to run, but his wrist was quivering and his legs refused to move.
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