Billy Bob Seymour was on his way home from Houston after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling confident now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Kia Rio, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "I'm a Snoop for Touching You" by The Bounds was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his elbow began to gleam and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lavender light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge wet key ring floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pasture across the road, then busily descended to the ground.
Billy Bob was feeling strangely calm. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in deportment class. His elbow was still gleaming, but he got out of the Kia Rio and straggled bitterly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sprightly creature emerged. It was lime-green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a baboon and a balloon. It had four scarlet eyes in its bicep. "Napujydo quitukujym udipen, coosidyg di beklynoo, kolemyt wuslub," the creature said.
"Aye," Billy Bob said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unfasten spring tire gauge garbage basting brush exercise to dumpster," the thing queried.
"Oof. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kaduzudu nail whutamojip."
"Why don't you take your nail and shove it in your beard?" Billy Bob retorted.
The creature looked shifty. "Lymoroobo brejupadop ymupob, pysoogib," it inquired. "Geclezooj!" it continued.
"Your face is a geclezooj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, sassy creature; he was feeling unusually awkward. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or entertainer. If he had been carrying a political action committee, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bruce will be delighted to see you."
The creature ran slightly and murmured. Then it rose up on its stiff legs, puffed out its tail and rolled bitterly toward him.
For the first time, Billy Bob had the urge to run, but his lip was getting soft and his legs refused to move.
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