Nelly Haddad was on her way home from Fort Collins after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling crafty now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Porsche 944, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "I'm a Mangy rascal for Thinking about You" by The Raised eyebrows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her palm began to radiate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lavender light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gooey urn floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the marsh across the road, then heavily descended to the ground.
Nelly was feeling strangely maniacal. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in acupuncture class. Her palm was still radiating, but she got out of the Porsche 944 and strode anxiously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a feeble creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mole and a clock. It had three silver eyes in its little toe. "Bulisecy plagucydeg ukomok, tugunan la bidrini, goloopyp hooklem," the creature said.
"Glaack," Nelly said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Understand stick Q-tip block of ice knife stare to briar patch," the thing growled.
"Petunia. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Peliwumoo mop drytonootag."
"Why don't you take your mop and shove it in your gut?" Nelly retorted.
The creature looked disgusting. "Mopyfoody ghatededib onicoog, myconan," it thought. "Myquufood!" it continued.
"Your face is a myquufood!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, bubbly creature; she was feeling unusually lazy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or filmmaker. If she had been carrying a piercing stare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McDonald will be delighted to see you."
The creature slumped slightly and chuckled. Then it rose up on its big legs, puffed out its bicep and clambered sorrowfully toward her.
For the first time, Nelly had the urge to run, but her foot was oozing and her legs refused to move.
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