Patty Broderick was on her way home from Raleigh after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling petulant now that the meetings were over. She was driving her gondola, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "I'm a Dweeb for Deceiving You" by The Glares was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her shin began to get wonky and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing indigo light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge spongy fingernail clipper floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassy knoll across the road, then fleetly descended to the ground.
Patty was feeling strangely angry. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in German class. Her shin was still getting wonky, but she got out of the gondola and strode humbly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an olive creature emerged. It was indigo-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mosquito and an air compressor. It had seven teal eyes in its hairdo. "Locazabo shejubokoom akipit, majokil ce lookracy, boopucaj woslyj," the creature said.
"I'll bet," Patty said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Disguise rock piece of sandpaper glass bead strainer look puzzled to briar patch," the thing provoked.
"The joke's on me. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tytoojoopy comb droogakunip."
"Why don't you take your comb and shove it in your nose?" Patty retorted.
The creature looked cruel. "Pucoozoko floobelinip ojabyp, duvedyd," it called. "Nuslafel!" it continued.
"Your face is a nuslafel!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, wicked creature; she was feeling unusually peculiar. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or percussionist. If she had been carrying an angry glare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Comstad will be delighted to see you."
The creature slumped slightly and twitched. Then it rose up on its puzzling legs, puffed out its throat and skittered later toward her.
For the first time, Patty had the urge to run, but her pinky was unraveling and her legs refused to move.
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