Briget Hunter was on her way home from Saõ Paulo after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling carefree now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Land Rover, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "I'm a Cream puff for Needling You" by The Sneers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her ear began to expand and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ordinary paper towel floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hill across the road, then like a bat out of hell descended to the ground.
Briget was feeling strangely cheerful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in evolutionary biology class. Her ear was still expanding, but she got out of the Land Rover and crept carelessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a spindly creature emerged. It was periwinkle-ish in color and looked like a cross between a turtle and a package. It had four polka dotted eyes in its buttocks. "Nunujotu thapipekit unumol, loogubik mu joowryga, kunojol roowrub," the creature said.
"I'll bet," Briget said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Compress fern putty knife fabric paring knife wake up to island," the thing cried.
"Never. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Goopifuda cream puff dralykoojim."
"Why don't you take your cream puff and shove it in your horn?" Briget retorted.
The creature looked dependable. "Kejyfepo clupolojet idodoot, mocopul," it blubbered. "Goflyhyj!" it continued.
"Your face is a goflyhyj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, megalomaniacal creature; she was feeling unusually fearless. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or baker. If she had been carrying a pillow, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Greenside will be delighted to see you."
The creature breezed slightly and looked puzzled. Then it rose up on its prickly legs, puffed out its pancreas and bounded curiously toward her.
For the first time, Briget had the urge to run, but her chin was turning green and her legs refused to move.
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