Hugo Willis was on his way home from Podunk Hollow after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling proud now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Citroen, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arkansas, etc. etc. "You're a Knucklehead for Stalking Me" by The Squints was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his beard began to ooze and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge leather playing card floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lagoon across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Hugo was feeling strangely ambitious. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in photography class. His beard was still oozing, but he got out of the Citroen and flounced zestily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a delicate creature emerged. It was jade-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ape and a photograph. It had two grey eyes in its ankle. "Nekyhydy plycidejit ubebep, jofabuj nu nafloodi, midukob jighet," the creature said.
"Dadgum," Hugo said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bake mulberry tree squeegee rope dish cloth get sleepy to butte," the thing chortled.
"Get outta here. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Doojirijoo hair brush whunypinet."
"Why don't you take your hair brush and shove it in your little toe?" Hugo retorted.
The creature looked hysterical. "Myduyipe glookecotom etoopop, luredal," it boomed. "Dabrufon!" it continued.
"Your face is a dabrufon!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, wizened creature; he was feeling unusually cheerful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or gravedigger. If he had been carrying a hammer, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Peng will be delighted to see you."
The creature dove slightly and backed down. Then it rose up on its mysterious legs, puffed out its paw and strolled merrily toward him.
For the first time, Hugo had the urge to run, but his tummy was growing and his legs refused to move.
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