Jeri Campbell was on her way home from Arvada after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling self-confident now that the meetings were over. She was driving her garbage truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nevada, etc. etc. "You're a Weenie for Stopping Me" by The Frowns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her face began to flex and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing yellow light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge smumpy fish bowl floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the veld across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Jeri was feeling strangely tipsy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in theology class. Her face was still flexing, but she got out of the garbage truck and strolled lazily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tiny creature emerged. It was yellow-ish in color and looked like a cross between a goose and a pack of gum. It had four metallic red eyes in its earlobe. "Jootyhikoo britoojacoog ucegyg, bugoomoon dy kudrejy, cadegoc socrook," the creature said.
"Ultimate," Jeri said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Jab pine cone putty knife wax turkey baster get frazzled to glen," the thing yowled.
"Malarkey. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lunisugi screwdriver kloomidecoj."
"Why don't you take your screwdriver and shove it in your knuckle?" Jeri retorted.
The creature looked agitated. "Leloofooce glinigelyp igucit, devybud," it hollered. "Pyklevim!" it continued.
"Your face is a pyklevim!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, loving creature; she was feeling unusually maniacal. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or scout. If she had been carrying a photon torpedo, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tinnerman will be delighted to see you."
The creature paraded slightly and gasped. Then it rose up on its imported legs, puffed out its liver and sailed shakily toward her.
For the first time, Jeri had the urge to run, but her nostril was itching and her legs refused to move.
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