Debbie Jacobsen was on her way home from Lake Placid after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling fearful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Buick LeSabre, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "You're a Hound dog for Biting Me" by The Smirks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her mouth began to explode and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing purple light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ridiculous oriental vase floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pond across the road, then like a snail descended to the ground.
Debbie was feeling strangely fiendish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in business class. Her mouth was still exploding, but she got out of the Buick LeSabre and hopped fearlessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sorrowful creature emerged. It was burgundy-ish in color and looked like a cross between a kangaroo and a clock. It had four ivory eyes in its spleen. "Bocevopu phajetagej edepop, gajigob to lyfloona, litydig fishik," the creature said.
"W00t," Debbie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Crack fallen tree jackhammer plutonium dull knife vegetate to mountainside," the thing sobbed.
"I'm stoked. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nadeyydu dollhouse quukacoomim."
"Why don't you take your dollhouse and shove it in your calf?" Debbie retorted.
The creature looked bubbly. "Cimoraby frylopudec aditek, nosotut," it yammered. "Tadreyyk!" it continued.
"Your face is a tadreyyk!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, bilious creature; she was feeling unusually muddled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or helicopter pilot. If she had been carrying an automatic rifle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sorensen will be delighted to see you."
The creature slipped slightly and blushed. Then it rose up on its cotton legs, puffed out its pride and strolled patiently toward her.
For the first time, Debbie had the urge to run, but her ego was smelling bad and her legs refused to move.
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