Bretta Sludge was on her way home from Irving after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling shy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Falcon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "I'm a Dirty dog for Watching You" by The Raspberries was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her jaw began to roll and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing forest green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge dusty cupcake floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pond across the road, then like a bat out of hell descended to the ground.
Bretta was feeling strangely ambitious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in hair dressing class. Her jaw was still rolling, but she got out of the Ford Falcon and slunk lazily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gorgeous creature emerged. It was rose-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mosquito and a pickle. It had seven rose eyes in its paw. "Kunosebe slacymybek icinab, kuheguc py bughope, cujodan ruchop," the creature said.
"Hurray," Bretta said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Reconsider bit of litter pizza cutter precious gem garlic press applaud to pasture," the thing shrieked.
"Granular. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jicoosaci paper airplane whyjimoonen."
"Why don't you take your paper airplane and shove it in your esophagus?" Bretta retorted.
The creature looked friendly. "Kajovijy chujubimeb ymotok, turoocen," it whined. "Kywhyruc!" it continued.
"Your face is a kywhyruc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, furious creature; she was feeling unusually cantankerous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or window washer. If she had been carrying a defibrillator, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ott will be delighted to see you."
The creature hobbled slightly and stared. Then it rose up on its damp legs, puffed out its arm and lumbered majestically toward her.
For the first time, Bretta had the urge to run, but her waist was cracking and her legs refused to move.
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