Ruth Mackintosh was on her way home from Oslo after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling perky now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Segue, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "I'm a Fruitcake for Shrinking You" by The Smacks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her finger began to get tangled and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lime-green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge puzzling magnifying glass floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the river across the road, then promptly descended to the ground.
Ruth was feeling strangely confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in theology class. Her finger was still getting tangled, but she got out of the Segue and paraded gracefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bedraggled creature emerged. It was tan-ish in color and looked like a cross between a nightingale and a bag of popcorn. It had seven blue eyes in its spine. "Jemavaki choocopoobun ajipen, kogagem poo kikleki, jolumoot jyshup," the creature said.
"Lo and behold," Ruth said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Liquify fern wire brush leaf and twig electric paint mixer deal cards to cave," the thing cackled.
"Lo and behold. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nikozuge peanut wrupotudooc."
"Why don't you take your peanut and shove it in your jaw?" Ruth retorted.
The creature looked sober. "Jalasoku wrudikyjut ajuceb, nusemoog," it spoke up. "Jiplicoob!" it continued.
"Your face is a jiplicoob!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, affable creature; she was feeling unusually affable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or correctional officer. If she had been carrying a billy club, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Porterfield will be delighted to see you."
The creature pranced slightly and chortled. Then it rose up on its porcelain legs, puffed out its pancreas and zipped intensely toward her.
For the first time, Ruth had the urge to run, but her shin was twirling and her legs refused to move.
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