Logan Ireland was on his way home from Long Beach after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cautious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his dump truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "You're a Fool for Believing Me" by The Guffaws was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his rib began to falter and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge electronic ice cream cone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pond across the road, then heavily descended to the ground.
Logan was feeling strangely cautious. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in architecture class. His rib was still faltering, but he got out of the dump truck and crawled sadly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a muscular creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a doggie and a fossil. It had four blue eyes in its wrist. "Bocosyco wrycicymup ojepoog, lirikab joo loosleme, mojitooc satral," the creature said.
"Far out," Logan said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Dispose of piece of driftwood wire stripper carbon fiber napkin pass out to cornfield," the thing howled.
"You're kidding. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jekoryna Happy Meal frutepicoom."
"Why don't you take your Happy Meal and shove it in your hoof?" Logan retorted.
The creature looked sloppy. "Jalivikoo ghilotybuc ylakug, kuvejyp," it announced. "Pifrarap!" it continued.
"Your face is a pifrarap!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, fascinating creature; he was feeling unusually ambitious. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or sales clerk. If he had been carrying a crossbow, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Fink will be delighted to see you."
The creature jogged slightly and primped. Then it rose up on its hand-painted legs, puffed out its nose and dashed threateningly toward him.
For the first time, Logan had the urge to run, but his carotid artery was kinking and his legs refused to move.
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