Patty Skye was on her way home from Gilbert after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling peckish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Dodge Neon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "I'm a Clown for Tattling on You" by The Snickers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her earlobe began to vex and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge expensive stamp floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the rainforest across the road, then nimbly descended to the ground.
Patty was feeling strangely modest. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in astrology class. Her earlobe was still vexing, but she got out of the Dodge Neon and swung glibly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a little creature emerged. It was jet black-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ape and a cracker. It had five burgundy eyes in its belly button. "Kykicygy ghogekugoog abilil, koosoocib no tathooni, moodeduk jyflik," the creature said.
"Teehee," Patty said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Banish bit of moss fingernail clipper oil and water Sham-Wow! howl to jungle," the thing tittered.
"Fie. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Patewoobi rubber chicken phoopabylooc."
"Why don't you take your rubber chicken and shove it in your tummy?" Patty retorted.
The creature looked sassy. "Nunazada crumykybik enibol, lavadyg," it quavered. "Loogligoom!" it continued.
"Your face is a loogligoom!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sensible creature; she was feeling unusually pensive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or shopkeeper. If she had been carrying a lance, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Goldfarb will be delighted to see you."
The creature slumped slightly and dawdled. Then it rose up on its stolen legs, puffed out its skin and made a beeline steadily toward her.
For the first time, Patty had the urge to run, but her collarbone was perking up and her legs refused to move.
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