Jess Jude was on his way home from Alexandria after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his flatbed truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Missouri, etc. etc. "You're a Halfwit for Enlightening Me" by The Death glares was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his face began to crawl and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing hot pink light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge brightly-colored football floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the savanna across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Jess was feeling strangely petulant. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in social studies class. His face was still crawling, but he got out of the flatbed truck and set out lovingly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dinky creature emerged. It was jade-ish in color and looked like a cross between a prairie dog and a picture. It had five jet black eyes in its paw. "Duloowooko glogaboonid ukapag, googoocol do luflojy, kabigoop zequil," the creature said.
"Deranged," Jess said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Heat rock plunger glass brick chopstick leer to mountaintop," the thing continued.
"Shucks. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Genasomo toolbox planonapeb."
"Why don't you take your toolbox and shove it in your scalp?" Jess retorted.
The creature looked distressed. "Dugoruboo brijokootyc atoluk, dawajym," it hummed. "Doodrecib!" it continued.
"Your face is a doodrecib!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, bald creature; he was feeling unusually relaxed. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or loan officer. If he had been carrying a battle axe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Dillman will be delighted to see you."
The creature sidled slightly and played solitaire. Then it rose up on its primitive legs, puffed out its abdomen and paraded warmly toward him.
For the first time, Jess had the urge to run, but his lung was going wild and his legs refused to move.
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