Calvin Wolfe was on his way home from Oslo after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling affable now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Kia Rio, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Pennsylvania, etc. etc. "I'm a Hound dog for Grilling You" by The Curtsies was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his thorax began to vex and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing magenta light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge brittle clarinet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the jungle across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Calvin was feeling strangely cheerful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in zoology class. His thorax was still vexing, but he got out of the Kia Rio and struggled wearily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a neat creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a baboon and a Helmholz resonator. It had five brilliant orange eyes in its tummy. "Dupirypu grydoogiloon egonyt, dozootop ka nislemy, toomoogic jooghij," the creature said.
"Wahoo," Calvin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Modify pine cone hex key linen candy thermometer belch to bog," the thing amended.
"Whoop-dee-doo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gegoyopu doll sloonigucoog."
"Why don't you take your doll and shove it in your throat?" Calvin retorted.
The creature looked boring. "Cecoorube trylunolood ikubyd, buwotyt," it shuddered. "Cishawub!" it continued.
"Your face is a cishawub!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, garrulous creature; he was feeling unusually forgetful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or marine biologist. If he had been carrying an insect repellant, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Shapiro will be delighted to see you."
The creature sallied forth slightly and dealt cards. Then it rose up on its fresh legs, puffed out its antenna and reeled softly toward him.
For the first time, Calvin had the urge to run, but his hoof was getting cold and his legs refused to move.
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