Drew Broghammer was on his way home from Fayetteville after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. He was driving his carriage, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Carolina, etc. etc. "I'm a Dingleberry for Speaking to You" by The Shivers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his wrist began to feel better and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge musty notepad floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the glen across the road, then reluctantly descended to the ground.
Drew was feeling strangely desperate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Spanish class. His wrist was still feeling better, but he got out of the carriage and bounced daringly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a scruffy creature emerged. It was hot pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a koala and a paintbrush. It had six lime-green eyes in its stomach. "Coodyvodu cradoocoodek oonimed, dysutub boo kewryti, gogujook fuwrum," the creature said.
"Gee," Drew said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Decorate leaf nail gun pipe cleaner melon baller back up to landfill," the thing taunted.
"Leapin' lizards. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jecaguja fish bowl brynucygin."
"Why don't you take your fish bowl and shove it in your thigh?" Drew retorted.
The creature looked stylish. "Kymyfoote fratogobed ajoonyk, nugycut," it hissed. "Giklihuj!" it continued.
"Your face is a giklihuj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, conscientious creature; he was feeling unusually frantic. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or rock musician. If he had been carrying a hand sanitizer, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Corialis will be delighted to see you."
The creature proceeded slightly and lay down. Then it rose up on its musty legs, puffed out its calf and sprinted gleefully toward him.
For the first time, Drew had the urge to run, but his elbow was sweating and his legs refused to move.
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