Frank Dodd was on his way home from Cambridge after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling tense now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Mazda RX-7, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "I'm a Slug for Neglecting You" by The Dope slaps was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his brain began to blossom and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing salmon light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge thick candy cane floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassy knoll across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Frank was feeling strangely peculiar. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in law enforcement class. His brain was still blossoming, but he got out of the Mazda RX-7 and went woefully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a stocky creature emerged. It was maroon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rabbit and a skull. It had eight aqua eyes in its jaw. "Moogejaboo proomicemob ulikep, luwoonyt la kuquymu, nacymin yeshik," the creature said.
"Yow," Frank said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hook rock sledgehammer chewing gum foot come back to steppe," the thing thought.
"Get outta here. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Moolygamo bat flodycadom."
"Why don't you take your bat and shove it in your pinky?" Frank retorted.
The creature looked garrulous. "Mykooyide floludylin oomoojad, kyhocut," it avowed. "Duwhucat!" it continued.
"Your face is a duwhucat!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, fuzzy creature; he was feeling unusually angry. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or cook. If he had been carrying a pair of brass knuckles, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Burner will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounded slightly and woke up. Then it rose up on its smooth legs, puffed out its toenail and lurched unabashedly toward him.
For the first time, Frank had the urge to run, but his adrenal gland was writhing and his legs refused to move.
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