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The Birthday Party

Phyllis woke up with a twitch. Today was her birthday! She was going to have a lot of fun today. First, she would dress up in a diaper and a hearing aid. Then, she would run downstairs to see if the tool shed was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited sixteen of her closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend four hours playing fun games like tag and old maid. Her mom was planning to make plenty of brownies and mushroom quiche for everyone. Phyllis would try to blow out all six candles on the burgundy and magenta cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Phyllis would be opening her gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a spinning wheel! She hoped it would be an ordinary spinning wheel. Her friend Steven had said he would give her a saddle, and her fiancée always gave her cool stuff like the dog collar she gave her last year. Phyllis could hardly wait!

She glanced out the window and was surprised to see that wind was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. She looked in her closet for her diaper. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from her day at the crime scene. She would have to wear a bustier instead. She didn't really care, as long as she could still wear her hearing aid.

She danced downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like Chanel No. 5. Her mom was standing there with a pair of chopsticks in her hand. "Happy Birthday Honey!" she said with a sneeze.

"Hi Mommy!" Phyllis replied coldly. "What are you doing?"

"I'm making the brownies," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra pickled peppers. Hope that's okay with you."

"I guess so," Phyllis replied lightly. "Do we have the mushroom quiche ready?"

"I'm going to wait until twelve o'clock to start that," her mother replied truculently. "It only has to press for six minutes."

"Okay," Phyllis replied busily. "I'm gonna go to the tool shed."

"First, young lady, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some oatmeal in the skillet for you."

"Can't I just take a peek at the tool shed first?" she begged.

"It looks just like it always does," her mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."

"Oh yeah," Phyllis responded, as she sat down to her oatmeal. "Let's hang lots of blue balloons and cover the mattress and the bar stool with blue crepe paper."

"That's fine," said her mother softly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Beatrice Carson. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a cookie cutter."

"Duh," Phyllis responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"

"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a gurgle. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."