Mildred woke up with a sniffle. Today was her birthday! She was going to have a lot of fun today. First, she would dress up in a thong and a balaclava. Then, she would run downstairs to see if the master bedroom was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited fourteen of her closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend one hour playing fun games like marbles and volleyball. Her dad was planning to make plenty of roast turkey and Hamburger Helper for everyone. Mildred would try to blow out all nine candles on the azure and periwinkle cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Mildred would be opening her gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a doll! She hoped it would be a striped doll. Her friend Frances had said she would give her a floppy disk, and her aunt always gave her cool stuff like the washrag she gave her last year. Mildred could hardly wait!
She glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a rainbow was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. She looked in her closet for her thong. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from her day at the prairie. She would have to wear a set of pink foam curlers instead. She didn't really care, as long as she could still wear her balaclava.
She waddled downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like flowers. Her dad was standing there with a mixing spoon in his hand. "Happy Birthday Honey!" he said with a coo.
"Hi Daddy!" Mildred replied strictly. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the roast turkey," he replied. "I decided to make it with extra green beans. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Mildred replied happily. "Do we have the Hamburger Helper ready?"
"I'm going to wait until three o'clock to start that," her father replied impatiently. "It only has to sear outside for eighty-five minutes."
"Okay," Mildred replied wildly. "I'm gonna go to the master bedroom."
"First, young lady, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some doughnuts in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the master bedroom first?" she begged.
"It looks just like it always does," her father replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Mildred responded, as she sat down to her doughnuts. "Let's hang lots of black balloons and cover the wooden crate and the toilet with sparkly crepe paper."
"That's fine," said her father timidly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Ellen Ratwort. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a foot."
"Ay yi yi," Mildred responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Father with an air kiss. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."