Regina woke up with a crow. Today was her birthday! She was going to have a lot of fun today. First, she would dress up in a cardigan and a stovepipe hat. Then, she would run downstairs to see if the corridor was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited twenty-seven of her closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend three hours playing fun games like doctor and Russian roulette. Her mom was planning to make plenty of hot dogs and fondue for everyone. Regina would try to blow out all six candles on the navy blue and peach cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Regina would be opening her gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a hair brush! She hoped it would be a bizarre hair brush. Her friend Matt had said he would give her a Bible, and her sister always gave her cool stuff like the toilet seat she gave her last year. Regina could hardly wait!
She glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a humid day was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. She looked in her closet for her cardigan. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from her day at the grassland. She would have to wear an Eton jacket instead. She didn't really care, as long as she could still wear her stovepipe hat.
She set out downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like asparagus. Her mom was standing there with a chopstick in her hand. "Happy Birthday Honey!" she said with a snarl.
"Hi Mommy!" Regina replied ignobly. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the hot dogs," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra sesame seeds. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Regina replied gleefully. "Do we have the fondue ready?"
"I'm going to wait until ten o'clock to start that," her mother replied languidly. "It only has to fry slowly in peculiar skillet for sixty-two minutes."
"Okay," Regina replied sarcastically. "I'm gonna go to the corridor."
"First, young lady, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some ham in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the corridor first?" she begged.
"It looks just like it always does," her mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Regina responded, as she sat down to her ham. "Let's hang lots of sparkly balloons and cover the file cabinet and the stool with navy blue crepe paper."
"That's fine," said her mother swiftly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Karla Bagman. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a meat tenderizer."
"Bah," Regina responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a shout. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."