Martin woke up with a frown. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a tie and a bra. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the foyer was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited three of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend one hour playing fun games like seven-up and solitaire. His mom was planning to make plenty of pumpkin pie and bread and butter for everyone. Martin would try to blow out all thirteen candles on the chartreuse and lavender cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Martin would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a pot! He hoped it would be a porcelain pot. His friend Louis had said he would give him a dog collar, and his cousin always gave him cool stuff like the primrose she gave him last year. Martin could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a pall of doom was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his tie. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the briar patch. He would have to wear a visor instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his bra.
He dove downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like a barnyard. His mom was standing there with a cheesecloth in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with a flush.
"Hi Mommy!" Martin replied firmly. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the pumpkin pie," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra lettuce. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Martin replied glibly. "Do we have the bread and butter ready?"
"I'm going to wait until four o'clock to start that," his mother replied lickety-split. "It only has to allow to rise in warm place for several hours for sixty-eight minutes."
"Okay," Martin replied defiantly. "I'm gonna go to the foyer."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some ravioli in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the foyer first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Martin responded, as he sat down to his ravioli. "Let's hang lots of aqua balloons and cover the overstuffed chair and the toilet with green crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother innocently. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Hallie Bronner. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a turkey baster."
"Avast," Martin responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a sigh. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."