Malcolm woke up with a bound. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a bridal gown and a bathrobe. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the family room was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited two of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend six hours playing fun games like chess and roulette. His mom was planning to make plenty of hash and cabbage for everyone. Malcolm would try to blow out all twenty-eight candles on the burgundy and ivory cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Malcolm would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain an avocado! He hoped it would be a porcelain avocado. His friend Stu had said he would give him an arrowhead, and his sister-in-law always gave him cool stuff like the paintbrush she gave him last year. Malcolm could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a dust storm was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his bridal gown. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the rainforest. He would have to wear a miniskirt instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his bathrobe.
He hobbled downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like pumpkin pie. His mom was standing there with a garlic press in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with a caress.
"Hi Mommy!" Malcolm replied humbly. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the hash," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra sweet pickle relish. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Malcolm replied sweetly. "Do we have the cabbage ready?"
"I'm going to wait until one o'clock to start that," his mother replied mysteriously. "It only has to microwave for thirty-seven minutes."
"Okay," Malcolm replied happily. "I'm gonna go to the family room."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some succotash in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the family room first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Malcolm responded, as he sat down to his succotash. "Let's hang lots of beige balloons and cover the end table and the workbench with mauve crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother fondly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Mama Campbell. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a grater."
"Poppycock," Malcolm responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a sneeze. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."