Hazel woke up with a flutter. Today was her birthday! She was going to have a lot of fun today. First, she would dress up in a moustache and a beard. Then, she would run downstairs to see if the porch was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited twenty of her closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend eight hours playing fun games like pool and badminton. Her mom was planning to make plenty of prime rib and doughnuts for everyone. Hazel would try to blow out all twenty-three candles on the brown and teal cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Hazel would be opening her gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a clock! She hoped it would be a rancid clock. Her friend Lucifer had said he would give her an ice cream cone, and her sister-in-law always gave her cool stuff like the candle she gave her last year. Hazel could hardly wait!
She glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a driving rain was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. She looked in her closet for her moustache. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from her day at the landfill. She would have to wear a veil instead. She didn't really care, as long as she could still wear her beard.
She hopped downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like peanuts. Her mom was standing there with a corkscrew in her hand. "Happy Birthday Honey!" she said with a belch.
"Hi Mommy!" Hazel replied impatiently. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the prime rib," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra oregano. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Hazel replied bitterly. "Do we have the doughnuts ready?"
"I'm going to wait until nine o'clock to start that," her mother replied breathlessly. "It only has to arrange for seventy-one minutes."
"Okay," Hazel replied impatiently. "I'm gonna go to the porch."
"First, young lady, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some potatoes and gravy in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the porch first?" she begged.
"It looks just like it always does," her mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Hazel responded, as she sat down to her potatoes and gravy. "Let's hang lots of azure balloons and cover the dresser and the bed with brilliant orange crepe paper."
"That's fine," said her mother neatly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Gina Bluestein. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a melon baller."
"Shucks," Hazel responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a shout. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."