Cinderella woke up with a shiver. Today was her birthday! She was going to have a lot of fun today. First, she would dress up in a pair of handcuffs and a skirt. Then, she would run downstairs to see if the dungeon was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited seventeen of her closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend three hours playing fun games like roulette and follow the leader. Her mom was planning to make plenty of chicken gumbo and scrambled eggs for everyone. Cinderella would try to blow out all seven candles on the rose and camouflage cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Cinderella would be opening her gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a campaign sign! She hoped it would be a multicolored campaign sign. Her friend Bull had said he would give her an abacus, and her grandfather always gave her cool stuff like the clothespin she gave her last year. Cinderella could hardly wait!
She glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a hot, sunny day was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. She looked in her closet for her pair of handcuffs. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from her day at the battlefield. She would have to wear a pair of Reeboks instead. She didn't really care, as long as she could still wear her skirt.
She stalked downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like diesel exhaust. Her mom was standing there with a turkey baster in her hand. "Happy Birthday Honey!" she said with a frown.
"Hi Mommy!" Cinderella replied despondently. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the chicken gumbo," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra poppy seeds. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Cinderella replied mysteriously. "Do we have the scrambled eggs ready?"
"I'm going to wait until five o'clock to start that," her mother replied furiously. "It only has to grill for seventy-two minutes."
"Okay," Cinderella replied violently. "I'm gonna go to the dungeon."
"First, young lady, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some oyster on the half-shell in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the dungeon first?" she begged.
"It looks just like it always does," her mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Cinderella responded, as she sat down to her oyster on the half-shell. "Let's hang lots of orange balloons and cover the bed and the toilet with tan crepe paper."
"That's fine," said her mother demurely. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Rebecca Best. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a Sham-Wow!."
"Son of a Baptist preacher," Cinderella responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with an air kiss. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."