Richard woke up with a grimace. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a pair of boxing gloves and a bulletproof vest. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the parlor was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited nineteen of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend four hours playing fun games like hide and seek and red light green light. His mom was planning to make plenty of cotton candy and country glazed ham for everyone. Richard would try to blow out all eleven candles on the salmon and lime-green cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Richard would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a hip flask! He hoped it would be a gruesome hip flask. His friend Lucas had said he would give him a twig, and his sister-in-law always gave him cool stuff like the cactus plant she gave him last year. Richard could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a downpour was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his pair of boxing gloves. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the path. He would have to wear a jogging suit instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his bulletproof vest.
He pranced downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like a dusty attic. His mom was standing there with a pair of chopsticks in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with a cheer.
"Hi Mommy!" Richard replied ignobly. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the cotton candy," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra Dijon mustard. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Richard replied confidently. "Do we have the country glazed ham ready?"
"I'm going to wait until nine o'clock to start that," his mother replied warmly. "It only has to press for ninety minutes."
"Okay," Richard replied gleefully. "I'm gonna go to the parlor."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some egg rolls in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the parlor first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Richard responded, as he sat down to his egg rolls. "Let's hang lots of orange balloons and cover the TV and the piano with amber crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother needlessly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Debbie Wapner. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a candy thermometer."
"Alack," Richard responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a belly laugh. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."