Madison woke up with a sigh. Today was her birthday! She was going to have a lot of fun today. First, she would dress up in a ponytail and a toupee. Then, she would run downstairs to see if the outhouse was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited one of her closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend two hours playing fun games like bridge and red rover. Her mom was planning to make plenty of moo goo gai pan and ham for everyone. Madison would try to blow out all two candles on the pea green and olive drab cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Madison would be opening her gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a doily! She hoped it would be a fluffy doily. Her friend Dan had said he would give her a coupon, and her mommy always gave her cool stuff like the peanut she gave her last year. Madison could hardly wait!
She glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a rainstorm was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. She looked in her closet for her ponytail. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from her day at the bog. She would have to wear a flour sack instead. She didn't really care, as long as she could still wear her toupee.
She sashayed downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like rotten eggs. Her mom was standing there with a dish cloth in her hand. "Happy Birthday Honey!" she said with a belch.
"Hi Mommy!" Madison replied sweetly. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the moo goo gai pan," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra shortening. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Madison replied innocently. "Do we have the ham ready?"
"I'm going to wait until eight o'clock to start that," her mother replied testily. "It only has to grill for twenty minutes."
"Okay," Madison replied urgently. "I'm gonna go to the outhouse."
"First, young lady, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some Froot Loops in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the outhouse first?" she begged.
"It looks just like it always does," her mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Madison responded, as she sat down to her Froot Loops. "Let's hang lots of green balloons and cover the bar stool and the rug with black crepe paper."
"That's fine," said her mother patiently. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Bella Gare. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a meat tenderizer."
"Malarkey," Madison responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a jeer. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."