Ronnie woke up with a smirk. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a bra and a belly button jewel. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the hall was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited thirteen of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend four hours playing fun games like blackjack and Cootie. His mom was planning to make plenty of spaghetti and chicken chow mein for everyone. Ronnie would try to blow out all five candles on the blue and periwinkle cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Ronnie would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a joint! He hoped it would be an ordinary joint. His friend Xavier had said he would give him a dog collar, and his mother-in-law always gave him cool stuff like the crutch she gave him last year. Ronnie could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a period of warm weather was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his bra. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the dumpster. He would have to wear a smartwatch instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his belly button jewel.
He slipped downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like Calvin Klein. His mom was standing there with a napkin in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with a curtsey.
"Hi Mommy!" Ronnie replied glumly. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the spaghetti," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra grated sharp cheddar cheese. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Ronnie replied madly. "Do we have the chicken chow mein ready?"
"I'm going to wait until four o'clock to start that," his mother replied reluctantly. "It only has to heat for twelve minutes."
"Okay," Ronnie replied shakily. "I'm gonna go to the hall."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some mushroom quiche in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the hall first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Ronnie responded, as he sat down to his mushroom quiche. "Let's hang lots of magenta balloons and cover the footstool and the pillow with khaki crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother quickly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Mildred Fodor. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a blender."
"Rubbish," Ronnie responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a sneer. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."