Bart woke up with a snort. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a G-string and a belt buckle. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the front porch was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited fourteen of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend five hours playing fun games like Simon Says and Cootie. His dad was planning to make plenty of Hamburger Helper and duck a l'orange for everyone. Bart would try to blow out all nineteen candles on the jade and lime-green cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Bart would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a Theremin! He hoped it would be a grubby Theremin. His friend Elly had said she would give him a paper clip, and his wife always gave him cool stuff like the pair of dice she gave him last year. Bart could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a snowstorm was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his G-string. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the buffalo wallow. He would have to wear a nose ring instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his belt buckle.
He walked downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like fingernail polish remover. His dad was standing there with a wooden spoon in his hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" he said with a giggle.
"Hi Daddy!" Bart replied positively. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the Hamburger Helper," he replied. "I decided to make it with extra pears. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Bart replied gleefully. "Do we have the duck a l'orange ready?"
"I'm going to wait until one o'clock to start that," his father replied vigorously. "It only has to roast for forty-eight minutes."
"Okay," Bart replied fearfully. "I'm gonna go to the front porch."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some cabbage rolls in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the front porch first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his father replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Bart responded, as he sat down to his cabbage rolls. "Let's hang lots of olive green balloons and cover the safe and the credenza with white crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his father crossly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Carey Carter. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a chopstick."
"Nooo," Bart responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Father with a furrowed brow. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."