Rose woke up with a sniff. Today was her birthday! She was going to have a lot of fun today. First, she would dress up in a pair of dentures and a cap. Then, she would run downstairs to see if the porch was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited twenty-five of her closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend one hour playing fun games like battleship and Cootie. Her dad was planning to make plenty of country glazed ham and banana split for everyone. Rose would try to blow out all twenty-two candles on the pink and magenta cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Rose would be opening her gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a crutch! She hoped it would be a slimy crutch. Her friend Nancy had said she would give her a brush, and her fiancée always gave her cool stuff like the beach ball she gave her last year. Rose could hardly wait!
She glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a typhoon was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. She looked in her closet for her pair of dentures. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from her day at the pond. She would have to wear a pair of cargo pants instead. She didn't really care, as long as she could still wear her cap.
She straggled downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like pepper. Her dad was standing there with a meat thermometer in his hand. "Happy Birthday Honey!" he said with a bow.
"Hi Daddy!" Rose replied unnaturally. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the country glazed ham," he replied. "I decided to make it with extra pears. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Rose replied demurely. "Do we have the banana split ready?"
"I'm going to wait until three o'clock to start that," her father replied dubiously. "It only has to sear for twenty-three minutes."
"Okay," Rose replied curiously. "I'm gonna go to the porch."
"First, young lady, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some hors d'oeuvre in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the porch first?" she begged.
"It looks just like it always does," her father replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Rose responded, as she sat down to her hors d'oeuvre. "Let's hang lots of jade balloons and cover the rocking chair and the bathtub with striped crepe paper."
"That's fine," said her father shakily. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Faye Burns. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a pair of chopsticks."
"Anyhoo," Rose responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Father with a snicker. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."