Jim Bob woke up with a curtsey. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a suit of armor and a vest. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the family room was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited six of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend eight hours playing fun games like Cootie and dominos. His dad was planning to make plenty of ham and lamb curry for everyone. Jim Bob would try to blow out all twenty-one candles on the camouflage and carrot-orange cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Jim Bob would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain an ashtray! He hoped it would be a damaged ashtray. His friend Susanna had said she would give him a bag of potato chips, and his grandpa always gave him cool stuff like the hair brush she gave him last year. Jim Bob could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a sandstorm was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his suit of armor. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the pasture. He would have to wear a T-shirt instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his vest.
He trotted downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like a laundry. His dad was standing there with a spoon in his hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" he said with a guffaw.
"Hi Daddy!" Jim Bob replied impatiently. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the ham," he replied. "I decided to make it with extra kosher salt. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Jim Bob replied charmingly. "Do we have the lamb curry ready?"
"I'm going to wait until five o'clock to start that," his father replied menacingly. "It only has to poach lightly for twenty-seven minutes."
"Okay," Jim Bob replied happily. "I'm gonna go to the family room."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some pie a la mode in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the family room first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his father replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Jim Bob responded, as he sat down to his pie a la mode. "Let's hang lots of chartreuse balloons and cover the couch and the safe with orange crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his father tearfully. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Gloria Schibbel. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a blender."
"Good golly," Jim Bob responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Father with a dope slap. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."