Billy woke up with a gurgle. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a diaper and a diamond necklace. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the patio was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited twenty-five of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend two hours playing fun games like hearts and cribbage. His dad was planning to make plenty of cinnamon toast and blueberry pie for everyone. Billy would try to blow out all thirteen candles on the ivory and scarlet cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Billy would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a cane! He hoped it would be a ruined cane. His friend Elaine had said she would give him a baseball bat, and his grandpa always gave him cool stuff like the tube of glue she gave him last year. Billy could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a pelting rainstorm was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his diaper. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the path. He would have to wear an Eton jacket instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his diamond necklace.
He skittered downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like coffee. His dad was standing there with a whisk in his hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" he said with a pout.
"Hi Daddy!" Billy replied primly. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the cinnamon toast," he replied. "I decided to make it with extra corn flakes. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Billy replied pityingly. "Do we have the blueberry pie ready?"
"I'm going to wait until four o'clock to start that," his father replied pityingly. "It only has to bake at 450 degrees F for one minute."
"Okay," Billy replied crankily. "I'm gonna go to the patio."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some fried chicken in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the patio first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his father replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Billy responded, as he sat down to his fried chicken. "Let's hang lots of beige balloons and cover the fainting couch and the mattress with hot pink crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his father repeatedly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Paige Lindgren. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a spatula."
"Holy cats," Billy responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Father with a coo. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."