Paul woke up with a hiccup. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a mask and a gas mask. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the bathroom was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited four of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend three hours playing fun games like Russian roulette and Snakes and Ladders. His mom was planning to make plenty of cornbread and roast beef for everyone. Paul would try to blow out all thirty candles on the black and orange cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Paul would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a bugle! He hoped it would be a mysterious bugle. His friend Trent had said he would give him a crystal ball, and his mother always gave him cool stuff like the toilet seat she gave him last year. Paul could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that an earthquake was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his mask. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the battlefield. He would have to wear a denim skirt instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his gas mask.
He slunk downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like a swamp. His mom was standing there with a turkey baster in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with a sniff.
"Hi Mommy!" Paul replied steadily. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the cornbread," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra corn syrup. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Paul replied victoriously. "Do we have the roast beef ready?"
"I'm going to wait until two o'clock to start that," his mother replied quietly. "It only has to shake for ninety minutes."
"Okay," Paul replied ruefully. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some candy in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the bathroom first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Paul responded, as he sat down to his candy. "Let's hang lots of teal balloons and cover the carpet and the sofa with white crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother miserably. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Motormouth Moreland. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a blender."
"In your dreams," Paul responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a gurgle. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."