Andy woke up with a sneer. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a bulletproof vest and an 'I'm with Stupid' shirt. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the porch was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited twenty-three of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend one hour playing fun games like battleship and solitaire. His mom was planning to make plenty of brownies and crab rangoon for everyone. Andy would try to blow out all twenty-eight candles on the khaki and teal cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Andy would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a roll of toilet paper! He hoped it would be a hollow roll of toilet paper. His friend Louie had said he would give him a lollipop, and his mentor always gave him cool stuff like the playing card she gave him last year. Andy could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a typhoon was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his bulletproof vest. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the buffalo wallow. He would have to wear a black armband instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his 'I'm with Stupid' shirt.
He trekked downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like meatloaf. His mom was standing there with an ice pick in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with a snarl.
"Hi Mommy!" Andy replied haughtily. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the brownies," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra beer. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Andy replied automatically. "Do we have the crab rangoon ready?"
"I'm going to wait until twelve o'clock to start that," his mother replied tenderly. "It only has to heat in microwave for fifty-six minutes."
"Okay," Andy replied merrily. "I'm gonna go to the porch."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some candy in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the porch first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Andy responded, as he sat down to his candy. "Let's hang lots of black balloons and cover the piano and the recliner with terra cotta crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother caustically. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Nicki Holland. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a sharp knife."
"Hush," Andy responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a sneeze. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."