Joan woke up with a wrinkled nose. Today was her birthday! She was going to have a lot of fun today. First, she would dress up in a coonskin hat and a name tag. Then, she would run downstairs to see if the hall was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited twenty-eight of her closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend five hours playing fun games like crazy eights and blackjack. Her dad was planning to make plenty of succotash and wienerschnitzel for everyone. Joan would try to blow out all eighteen candles on the navy blue and magenta cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Joan would be opening her gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a corncob! She hoped it would be a small corncob. Her friend Mindy had said she would give her a magazine, and her mommy always gave her cool stuff like the Helmholz resonator she gave her last year. Joan could hardly wait!
She glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a downpour was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. She looked in her closet for her coonskin hat. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from her day at the swamp. She would have to wear a beanie instead. She didn't really care, as long as she could still wear her name tag.
She strode downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like an ashtray. Her dad was standing there with a spoon in his hand. "Happy Birthday Honey!" he said with a death glare.
"Hi Daddy!" Joan replied diligently. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the succotash," he replied. "I decided to make it with extra lemon juice. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Joan replied daintily. "Do we have the wienerschnitzel ready?"
"I'm going to wait until six o'clock to start that," her father replied ruefully. "It only has to smoke for fifty-four minutes."
"Okay," Joan replied lickety-split. "I'm gonna go to the hall."
"First, young lady, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some dry toast in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the hall first?" she begged.
"It looks just like it always does," her father replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Joan responded, as she sat down to her dry toast. "Let's hang lots of chartreuse balloons and cover the piano and the stairway with burgundy crepe paper."
"That's fine," said her father flightily. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Morgan Snyder. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a mixing spoon."
"Heavens to murgatroyd," Joan responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Father with a grunt. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."