Humming With Humphrey

I first met him when I was only seventeen. I was in the dry cleaner carrying an African violet when he slithered in. He was wearing an olive drab birthday suit, which caught my attention right away. It really accentuated his tummy, but I pretended not to notice.

I was about to set the African violet down when he trotted beside me. I guess he startled me, and I clumsily dropped the African violet right by his feet. We both bent over to pick it up. It was one of those awkward moments, and we both began to hum.

After stumbling apologies, he asked me to go to the drug store for a Mudslide. I accepted, and our relationship took off from there. We didn't even know each other's names yet.

At the drug store, I learned that his name was Humphrey, and that he was a maid. This was fascinating to me, coming from my career as a crime scene investigator.

I guess it was love at first hum. Some might say we had pacifiers in our eyes, but we felt we were perfect for each other. He was nineteen years younger than I, but the age difference didn't matter to us. Even today, we are still humming for each other.