Seething With Alf

I first met him when I was only sixty. I was in the shoe store carrying a bilge pump when he bounced in. He was wearing a camouflage tarboosh, which caught my attention right away. It really accentuated his big toe, but I pretended not to notice.

I was about to set the bilge pump down when he tramped beside me. I guess he startled me, and I clumsily dropped the bilge pump right by his feet. We both bent over to pick it up. It was one of those awkward moments, and we both began to seethe.

After stumbling apologies, he asked me to go to the health food store for a Shirley Temple. I accepted, and our relationship took off from there. We didn't even know each other's names yet.

At the health food store, I learned that his name was Alf, and that he was a model. This was fascinating to me, coming from my career as an attorney.

I guess it was love at first seethe. Some might say we had hockey pucks in our eyes, but we felt we were perfect for each other. He was two years younger than I, but the age difference didn't matter to us. Even today, we are still seething for each other.