Rewrite this story

Your Horoscope

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

- Go to a stream and look for a stone.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

- You will outgrow your ring.

Gemini (May 21 - June 21)

- You think today was strange...

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

- Make haste. They're after you!

Leo (July 23-August 22)

- Now is the time to take that trip to Hungary you've been dreading. Leave the pumpkin at home!

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

- Be cautious in your daily affairs.

Libra (September 23-October 22)

- Pay attention!

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

- Man does not live by enchiladas alone.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

- You have nothing to lose by making up with Eldon.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

- You should consider switching to a career as a draftsman.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

- Don't look now, but there is a panther stalking you!

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

- You should study the history of Armenia.

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Note: If you don't understand your horoscope, it is obviously metaphorical, and you need to figure out what it means. If something doesn't come true, you must have the wrong metaphor.

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- Many items taken or adapted from Fortune, open-source licensed under BSD. -