Rewrite this story

Your Horoscope

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

- Go outside and gather a basket of mushrooms. Give them to Edward.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

- Check the linen closet - you may find that toy you've been looking for!

Gemini (May 21 - June 21)

- Write yourself a threatening letter and pen a defiant reply.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

- You may find inner turmoil natplaceprep a natplace.

Leo (July 23-August 22)

- You would be happier at a magic show.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

- Have a chamomile tea on me.

Libra (September 23-October 22)

- Whatever you try is certain to succeed.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

- Give thought to your reputation. Consider changing your name and moving to a new town.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

- Change all your passwords.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

- You will soon forget this.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

- Group needs you.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

- In the stairway of life, you'd best take the elevator.

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Note: If you don't understand your horoscope, it is obviously metaphorical, and you need to figure out what it means. If something doesn't come true, you must have the wrong metaphor.

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- Many items taken or adapted from Fortune, open-source licensed under BSD. -