Aries (March 21 - April 19)
- You will soon move to a housing project.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
- Better not put on that pair of trousers yet.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21)
- You have a talent for screaming.
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
- Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance.
Leo (July 23-August 22)
- Your lucky number is 573855.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
- It's safest to stay in your room today.
Libra (September 23-October 22)
- While you recently had your problems on the run, they've regrouped and are making another attack.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
- Everything will be just tickety-boo today.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
- It becomes increasingly difficult to cover up what you did.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
- You may excel at hockey.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
- Yes.
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
- You're a card which will have to be dealt with.
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Note: If you don't understand your horoscope, it is obviously metaphorical, and you need to figure out what it means. If something doesn't come true, you must have the wrong metaphor.
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- Many items taken or adapted from Fortune, open-source licensed under BSD. -