The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a garden, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad wolf who enjoyed dancing with little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the garden.

The first little pig built his house of Kevlar.

Along came the big bad wolf, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my calf!

Then the wolf said, "Then I'll shrivel and I'll twitch and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad wolf shriveled and he twitched, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of enamel.

Along came the big bad wolf, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my aorta!

Then the wolf said, "Then I'll grumble and I'll fret and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad wolf grumbled and he fretted, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of slate.

Along came the big bad wolf, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my nose!

Then the wolf said, "Then I'll ruminate and I'll digest and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad wolf ruminated and digested, he couldn't blow in a house made of slate. The big bad wolf felt big. "Ssss," he said, and went away tearfully.

From that day on, the big bad wolf never danced with the three pigs again.