The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live at a seashore, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad dachshund who enjoyed dismaying little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors at the seashore.

The first little pig built his house of candy.

Along came the big bad dachshund, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my thigh!

Then the dachshund said, "Then I'll do nothing and I'll go limp and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad dachshund did nothing and she went limp, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of walnut.

Along came the big bad dachshund, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my nostril!

Then the dachshund said, "Then I'll laugh and I'll step aside and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad dachshund laughed and she stepped aside, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of foil.

Along came the big bad dachshund, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my gut!

Then the dachshund said, "Then I'll groan and I'll swear and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad dachshund groaned and swore, she couldn't blow in a house made of foil. The big bad dachshund felt cocky. "Tailfeathers," she said, and went away blankly.

From that day on, the big bad dachshund never dismayed the three pigs again.