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The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a grassy knoll, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad bear who enjoyed eating little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the grassy knoll.

The first little pig built his house of linen.

Along came the big bad bear, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my hair!

Then the bear said, "Then I'll die and I'll party and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad bear died and he partied, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of iron.

Along came the big bad bear, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my knuckle!

Then the bear said, "Then I'll shiver and I'll play Duck Duck Goose and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad bear shivered and he played Duck Duck Goose, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of tile.

Along came the big bad bear, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my eyebrow!

Then the bear said, "Then I'll yawn and I'll pause and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad bear yawned and paused, he couldn't blow in a house made of tile. The big bad bear felt enraged. "Durn," he said, and went away madly.

From that day on, the tall pigs never saw the big bad bear again.