The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in an arroyo, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad raven who enjoyed sanitizing little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the arroyo.

The first little pig built his house of tempered glass.

Along came the big bad raven, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my eyebrow!

Then the raven said, "Then I'll wait and I'll rock and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad raven waited and he rocked, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of kelp.

Along came the big bad raven, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my tongue!

Then the raven said, "Then I'll cough and I'll get along and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad raven coughed and he got along, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of tissue.

Along came the big bad raven, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my toenail!

Then the raven said, "Then I'll calculate and I'll talk and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad raven calculated and talked, he couldn't blow in a house made of tissue. The big bad raven felt tall. "WTF," he said, and went away needlessly.

From that day on, the big bad raven never sanitized the three pigs again.