The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a valley, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad elephant who enjoyed singing to little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the valley.

The first little pig built his house of seaweed.

Along came the big bad elephant, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my thigh!

Then the elephant said, "Then I'll hide and I'll ponder and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad elephant hid and she pondered, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of iron.

Along came the big bad elephant, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my larynx!

Then the elephant said, "Then I'll groan and I'll cheer and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad elephant groaned and she cheered, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of glass.

Along came the big bad elephant, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my carotid artery!

Then the elephant said, "Then I'll hiccup and I'll giggle and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad elephant hiccuped and giggled, she couldn't blow in a house made of glass. The big bad elephant felt stylish. "Durn," she said, and went away lovingly.

From that day on, the big bad elephant never sang to the three pigs again.