The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a range, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad snipe who enjoyed praying for little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors on the range.

The first little pig built his house of pipe.

Along came the big bad snipe, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my arm!

Then the snipe said, "Then I'll blow up and I'll jerk and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad snipe blew up and she jerked, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of balsa.

Along came the big bad snipe, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my paw!

Then the snipe said, "Then I'll blow up and I'll flinch and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad snipe blew up and she flinched, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of wire.

Along came the big bad snipe, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my thyroid gland!

Then the snipe said, "Then I'll do the Hokey Pokey and I'll cheer and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad snipe did the Hokey Pokey and cheered, she couldn't blow in a house made of wire. The big bad snipe felt creepy. "Par bleu," she said, and went away obediently.

From that day on, the big bad snipe never prayed for the three pigs again.