The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a landfill, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad bullfrog who enjoyed delighting little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the landfill.

The first little pig built his house of old newspapers.

Along came the big bad bullfrog, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my bladder!

Then the bullfrog said, "Then I'll howl and I'll squint and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad bullfrog howled and he squinted, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of plutonium.

Along came the big bad bullfrog, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my collarbone!

Then the bullfrog said, "Then I'll jerk and I'll think and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad bullfrog jerked and he thought, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of rubber.

Along came the big bad bullfrog, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my heel!

Then the bullfrog said, "Then I'll gesticulate and I'll adjust the clock and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad bullfrog gesticulated and adjusted the clock, he couldn't blow in a house made of rubber. The big bad bullfrog felt comely. "Ppppbbbft," he said, and went away vacantly.

From that day on, the big bad bullfrog never delighted the three pigs again.