The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a cesspool, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad manticore who enjoyed shaking little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the cesspool.

The first little pig built his house of marble.

Along came the big bad manticore, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my knee!

Then the manticore said, "Then I'll mutter and I'll wake up and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad manticore muttered and she woke up, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of marble.

Along came the big bad manticore, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my hairdo!

Then the manticore said, "Then I'll grimace and I'll type and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad manticore grimaced and she typed, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of rock.

Along came the big bad manticore, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my pride!

Then the manticore said, "Then I'll get dizzy and I'll yelp and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad manticore got dizzy and yelped, she couldn't blow in a house made of rock. The big bad manticore felt gregarious. "Barf," she said, and went away intensely.

From that day on, the big bad manticore never shook the three pigs again.