The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a mesa, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad puma who enjoyed having a talk with little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors on the mesa.

The first little pig built his house of fairy dust.

Along came the big bad puma, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my toe!

Then the puma said, "Then I'll clear out and I'll get away and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad puma cleared out and she got away, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of polystyrene.

Along came the big bad puma, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my esophagus!

Then the puma said, "Then I'll weep and I'll snuffle and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad puma wept and she snuffled, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of recycled newspaper.

Along came the big bad puma, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my skull!

Then the puma said, "Then I'll snore and I'll run away and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad puma snored and ran away, she couldn't blow in a house made of recycled newspaper. The big bad puma felt ladylike. "Eeshk," she said, and went away steadily.

From that day on, the big bad puma never had a talk with the three pigs again.