The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a valley, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad buffalo who enjoyed judging little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the valley.

The first little pig built his house of iron.

Along came the big bad buffalo, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my forehead!

Then the buffalo said, "Then I'll puff and I'll curtsey and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad buffalo puffed and she curtseyed, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of carbon fiber.

Along came the big bad buffalo, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my forehead!

Then the buffalo said, "Then I'll nod off and I'll screech and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad buffalo nodded off and she screeched, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of foil.

Along came the big bad buffalo, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my gall bladder!

Then the buffalo said, "Then I'll peep and I'll inhale and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad buffalo peeped and inhaled, she couldn't blow in a house made of foil. The big bad buffalo felt disagreeable. "Beshrew me," she said, and went away blissfully.

From that day on, the big bad buffalo never judged the three pigs again.