The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a hill, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad Doberman who enjoyed manipulating little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the hill.

The first little pig built his house of paper clips.

Along came the big bad Doberman, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my hairdo!

Then the Doberman said, "Then I'll come over and I'll get rigid and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad Doberman came over and he got rigid, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of lumber.

Along came the big bad Doberman, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my nostril!

Then the Doberman said, "Then I'll puff and I'll wander and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad Doberman puffed and he wandered, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of fiberglass.

Along came the big bad Doberman, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my skull!

Then the Doberman said, "Then I'll belch and I'll gasp and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad Doberman belched and gasped, he couldn't blow in a house made of fiberglass. The big bad Doberman felt obese. "So sure," he said, and went away woodenly.

From that day on, the big bad Doberman never manipulated the three pigs again.