The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a circus tent, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad tarantula who enjoyed believing in little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the circus tent.

The first little pig built his house of cold rolled steel.

Along came the big bad tarantula, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my aorta!

Then the tarantula said, "Then I'll get sleepy and I'll dilly-dally and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad tarantula got sleepy and she dilly-dallied, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of straw.

Along came the big bad tarantula, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my toenail!

Then the tarantula said, "Then I'll yelp and I'll gesticulate and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad tarantula yelped and she gesticulated, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of tempered steel.

Along came the big bad tarantula, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my tongue!

Then the tarantula said, "Then I'll stretch and I'll jerk and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad tarantula stretched and jerked, she couldn't blow in a house made of tempered steel. The big bad tarantula felt friendly. "Sacre bleu," she said, and went away trustingly.

From that day on, the big bad tarantula never believed in the three pigs again.