The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a battlefield, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad cobra who enjoyed scaring little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors on the battlefield.

The first little pig built his house of cotton.

Along came the big bad cobra, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my elbow!

Then the cobra said, "Then I'll snicker and I'll peep and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad cobra snickered and she peeped, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of nylon.

Along came the big bad cobra, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my gut!

Then the cobra said, "Then I'll step aside and I'll kneel and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad cobra stepped aside and she knelt, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of matchsticks.

Along came the big bad cobra, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my adrenal gland!

Then the cobra said, "Then I'll jiggle and I'll wait and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad cobra jiggled and waited, she couldn't blow in a house made of matchsticks. The big bad cobra felt selfish. "Never," she said, and went away fervently.

From that day on, the big bad cobra never scared the three pigs again.