The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in an arroyo, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad gnu who enjoyed tantalizing little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the arroyo.

The first little pig built his house of tissue.

Along came the big bad gnu, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my foot!

Then the gnu said, "Then I'll giggle and I'll deal cards and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad gnu giggled and she dealt cards, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of porcelain.

Along came the big bad gnu, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my heel!

Then the gnu said, "Then I'll get dizzy and I'll digest and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad gnu got dizzy and she digested, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of nylon.

Along came the big bad gnu, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my femur!

Then the gnu said, "Then I'll hum and I'll yell and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad gnu hummed and yelled, she couldn't blow in a house made of nylon. The big bad gnu felt sleek. "Neato," she said, and went away fervently.

From that day on, the big bad gnu never tantalized the three pigs again.