The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a briar patch, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad cat who enjoyed dismaying little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the briar patch.

The first little pig built his house of paper clips.

Along came the big bad cat, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my heart!

Then the cat said, "Then I'll collapse and I'll pant and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad cat collapsed and she panted, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of old tires.

Along came the big bad cat, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my arm!

Then the cat said, "Then I'll get sleepy and I'll squint and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad cat got sleepy and she squinted, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of ivory.

Along came the big bad cat, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my bladder!

Then the cat said, "Then I'll run and I'll grin and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad cat ran and grinned, she couldn't blow in a house made of ivory. The big bad cat felt undignified. "Congratulations," she said, and went away sheepishly.

From that day on, the big bad cat never dismayed the three pigs again.