The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a hayfield, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad horsie who enjoyed chatting with little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the hayfield.

The first little pig built his house of graham crackers.

Along came the big bad horsie, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my esophagus!

Then the horsie said, "Then I'll stare into space and I'll adjust and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad horsie stared into space and he adjusted, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of Saran Wrap.

Along came the big bad horsie, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my intestine!

Then the horsie said, "Then I'll fantasize and I'll vegetate and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad horsie fantasized and he vegetated, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of metal.

Along came the big bad horsie, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my hand!

Then the horsie said, "Then I'll twitch and I'll shake and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad horsie twitched and shook, he couldn't blow in a house made of metal. The big bad horsie felt talkative. "Avast," he said, and went away warmly.

From that day on, the big bad horsie never chatted with the three pigs again.