The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a cornfield, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad lemur who enjoyed charming little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the cornfield.

The first little pig built his house of rope.

Along came the big bad lemur, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my hangnail!

Then the lemur said, "Then I'll swallow and I'll play solitaire and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad lemur swallowed and he played solitaire, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of bubbles.

Along came the big bad lemur, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my gall bladder!

Then the lemur said, "Then I'll expectorate and I'll adjust the clock and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad lemur expectorated and he adjusted the clock, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of cinder block.

Along came the big bad lemur, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my gall bladder!

Then the lemur said, "Then I'll puff and I'll pant and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad lemur puffed and panted, he couldn't blow in a house made of cinder block. The big bad lemur felt ambitious. "Whew," he said, and went away vacantly.

From that day on, the big bad lemur never charmed the three pigs again.