The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a valley, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad whale who enjoyed frustrating little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the valley.

The first little pig built his house of cane.

Along came the big bad whale, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my ego!

Then the whale said, "Then I'll sneer and I'll adjust and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad whale sneered and she adjusted, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of granite.

Along came the big bad whale, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my hoof!

Then the whale said, "Then I'll sneer and I'll wander and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad whale sneered and she wandered, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of muslin.

Along came the big bad whale, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my spleen!

Then the whale said, "Then I'll dress up and I'll applaud and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad whale dressed up and applauded, she couldn't blow in a house made of muslin. The big bad whale felt agile. "Great Jehosaphat," she said, and went away diligently.

From that day on, the big bad whale never frustrated the three pigs again.