The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a garden, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad donkey who enjoyed snuggling with little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the garden.

The first little pig built his house of ivory.

Along came the big bad donkey, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my funny bone!

Then the donkey said, "Then I'll get sleepy and I'll giggle and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad donkey got sleepy and she giggled, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of garbage.

Along came the big bad donkey, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my stomach!

Then the donkey said, "Then I'll buzz and I'll kneel and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad donkey buzzed and she knelt, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of cornstalks.

Along came the big bad donkey, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my thumb!

Then the donkey said, "Then I'll expectorate and I'll weep and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad donkey expectorated and wept, she couldn't blow in a house made of cornstalks. The big bad donkey felt gallant. "Cool beans," she said, and went away blindly.

From that day on, the big bad donkey never snuggled with the three pigs again.