The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a housing development, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad kitten who enjoyed avoiding little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the housing development.

The first little pig built his house of graham crackers.

Along came the big bad kitten, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my larynx!

Then the kitten said, "Then I'll snort and I'll whistle and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad kitten snorted and he whistled, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of spandex.

Along came the big bad kitten, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my ankle!

Then the kitten said, "Then I'll snort and I'll apologize and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad kitten snorted and he apologized, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of lace.

Along came the big bad kitten, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my liver!

Then the kitten said, "Then I'll catch up and I'll buzz and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad kitten caught up and buzzed, he couldn't blow in a house made of lace. The big bad kitten felt tired. "Hah," he said, and went away nimbly.

From that day on, the big bad kitten never avoided the three pigs again.