The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live beside a river, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad horsie who enjoyed playing with little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors beside the river.

The first little pig built his house of slime.

Along came the big bad horsie, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my eye!

Then the horsie said, "Then I'll mutter and I'll collapse and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad horsie muttered and she collapsed, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of felt.

Along came the big bad horsie, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my intestine!

Then the horsie said, "Then I'll daydream and I'll raise an eyebrow and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad horsie daydreamed and she raised an eyebrow, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of oil and water.

Along came the big bad horsie, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my aorta!

Then the horsie said, "Then I'll burble and I'll chortle and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad horsie burbled and chortled, she couldn't blow in a house made of oil and water. The big bad horsie felt shiftless. "Really," she said, and went away cruelly.

From that day on, the big bad horsie never played with the three pigs again.