The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live at a seashore, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad mare who enjoyed lying to little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors at the seashore.

The first little pig built his house of epoxy.

Along came the big bad mare, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my appendix!

Then the mare said, "Then I'll rejoice and I'll sneeze and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad mare rejoiced and he sneezed, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of hay.

Along came the big bad mare, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my knee!

Then the mare said, "Then I'll yell and I'll twitch and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad mare yelled and he twitched, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of metal.

Along came the big bad mare, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my gut!

Then the mare said, "Then I'll daydream and I'll weep and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad mare daydreamed and wept, he couldn't blow in a house made of metal. The big bad mare felt frantic. "Be still, my beating heart," he said, and went away recklessly.

From that day on, the big bad mare never lied to the three pigs again.