The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a peninsula, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad groundhog who enjoyed disinfecting little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors on the peninsula.

The first little pig built his house of stainless steel.

Along came the big bad groundhog, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my stomach!

Then the groundhog said, "Then I'll think and I'll primp and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad groundhog thought and she primped, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of paper clips.

Along came the big bad groundhog, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my eye!

Then the groundhog said, "Then I'll look smart and I'll sway and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad groundhog looked smart and she swayed, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of hay.

Along came the big bad groundhog, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my hoof!

Then the groundhog said, "Then I'll blow up and I'll inhale and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad groundhog blew up and inhaled, she couldn't blow in a house made of hay. The big bad groundhog felt sophisticated. "Holy cow," she said, and went away immediately.

From that day on, the big bad groundhog never disinfected the three pigs again.