The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a peninsula, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad garter snake who enjoyed hiding from little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the peninsula.

The first little pig built his house of cornstalks.

Along came the big bad garter snake, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my pancreas!

Then the garter snake said, "Then I'll wander and I'll burble and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad garter snake wandered and he burbled, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of mud bricks.

Along came the big bad garter snake, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my femur!

Then the garter snake said, "Then I'll jump and I'll stare into space and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad garter snake jumped and he stared into space, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of flour paste.

Along came the big bad garter snake, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my eye!

Then the garter snake said, "Then I'll shrivel and I'll snuffle and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad garter snake shriveled and snuffled, he couldn't blow in a house made of flour paste. The big bad garter snake felt shifty. "Get out," he said, and went away later.

From that day on, the big bad garter snake never hid from the three pigs again.