The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a dumpster, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad garter snake who enjoyed hypnotizing little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the dumpster.

The first little pig built his house of porcelain.

Along came the big bad garter snake, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my piehole!

Then the garter snake said, "Then I'll snuffle and I'll get away and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad garter snake snuffled and she got away, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of leaves and twigs.

Along came the big bad garter snake, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my funny bone!

Then the garter snake said, "Then I'll play solitaire and I'll holler and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad garter snake played solitaire and she hollered, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of cookie dough.

Along came the big bad garter snake, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my skin!

Then the garter snake said, "Then I'll collapse and I'll wake up and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad garter snake collapsed and woke up, she couldn't blow in a house made of cookie dough. The big bad garter snake felt coy. "Rooster feathers," she said, and went away calmly.

From that day on, the big bad garter snake never hypnotized the three pigs again.