The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a forest, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad anaconda who enjoyed quarreling with little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the forest.

The first little pig built his house of lath and plaster.

Along came the big bad anaconda, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my belly!

Then the anaconda said, "Then I'll fulminate and I'll play solitaire and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad anaconda fulminated and he played solitaire, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of wood.

Along came the big bad anaconda, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my toenail!

Then the anaconda said, "Then I'll gaze and I'll look dumb and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad anaconda gazed and he looked dumb, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of bones.

Along came the big bad anaconda, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my eyelash!

Then the anaconda said, "Then I'll cry and I'll chortle and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad anaconda cried and chortled, he couldn't blow in a house made of bones. The big bad anaconda felt jolly. "Granular," he said, and went away menacingly.

From that day on, the big bad anaconda never quarreled with the three pigs again.