The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a mountainside, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad leopard who enjoyed chasing little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors on the mountainside.

The first little pig built his house of adobe.

Along came the big bad leopard, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my spinal cord!

Then the leopard said, "Then I'll jiggle and I'll deal cards and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad leopard jiggled and she dealt cards, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of wire.

Along came the big bad leopard, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my adrenal gland!

Then the leopard said, "Then I'll wink and I'll relax and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad leopard winked and she relaxed, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of tar.

Along came the big bad leopard, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my mouth!

Then the leopard said, "Then I'll fulminate and I'll sneeze and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad leopard fulminated and sneezed, she couldn't blow in a house made of tar. The big bad leopard felt exuberant. "Verily," she said, and went away obediently.

From that day on, the big bad leopard never chased the three pigs again.