The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a ridge, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad hog who enjoyed educating little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the ridge.

The first little pig built his house of recycled newspaper.

Along came the big bad hog, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my pinky!

Then the hog said, "Then I'll calculate and I'll spit and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad hog calculated and he spat, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of recycled newspaper.

Along came the big bad hog, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my skull!

Then the hog said, "Then I'll stretch and I'll inhale and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad hog stretched and he inhaled, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of moss.

Along came the big bad hog, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my toe!

Then the hog said, "Then I'll come over and I'll drool and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad hog came over and drooled, he couldn't blow in a house made of moss. The big bad hog felt vacuous. "Teehee," he said, and went away breathlessly.

From that day on, the big bad hog never educated the three pigs again.