The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a cliff, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad wolverine who enjoyed caressing little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors on the cliff.

The first little pig built his house of metal.

Along came the big bad wolverine, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my elbow!

Then the wolverine said, "Then I'll weep and I'll blank out and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad wolverine wept and she blanked out, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of leather.

Along came the big bad wolverine, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my artery!

Then the wolverine said, "Then I'll squeak and I'll grumble and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad wolverine squeaked and she grumbled, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of hay.

Along came the big bad wolverine, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my thorax!

Then the wolverine said, "Then I'll wink and I'll swear and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad wolverine winked and swore, she couldn't blow in a house made of hay. The big bad wolverine felt silly. "Thunderation," she said, and went away hopefully.

From that day on, the big bad wolverine never caressed the three pigs again.