The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a grassy knoll, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad tapeworm who enjoyed encouraging little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the grassy knoll.

The first little pig built his house of ashes.

Along came the big bad tapeworm, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my pancreas!

Then the tapeworm said, "Then I'll wait and I'll clap and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad tapeworm waited and he clapped, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of banana leaves.

Along came the big bad tapeworm, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my arm!

Then the tapeworm said, "Then I'll throw up and I'll swoon and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad tapeworm threw up and he swooned, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of reeds.

Along came the big bad tapeworm, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my elbow!

Then the tapeworm said, "Then I'll shiver and I'll snuffle and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad tapeworm shivered and snuffled, he couldn't blow in a house made of reeds. The big bad tapeworm felt cautious. "Gawwwleeee," he said, and went away defiantly.

From that day on, the big bad tapeworm never encouraged the three pigs again.