The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a mountaintop, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad dromedary who enjoyed shrinking little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors on the mountaintop.

The first little pig built his house of kelp.

Along came the big bad dromedary, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my hip!

Then the dromedary said, "Then I'll sneeze and I'll freak out and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad dromedary sneezed and she freaked out, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of duct tape.

Along came the big bad dromedary, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my aorta!

Then the dromedary said, "Then I'll blush and I'll creep and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad dromedary blushed and she crept, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of reeds.

Along came the big bad dromedary, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my midriff!

Then the dromedary said, "Then I'll beg and I'll tremble and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad dromedary begged and trembled, she couldn't blow in a house made of reeds. The big bad dromedary felt drowsy. "Bless your heart," she said, and went away ruefully.

From that day on, the big bad dromedary never shrunk the three pigs again.