The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a steppe, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad bumblebee who enjoyed giggling at little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the steppe.

The first little pig built his house of cold rolled steel.

Along came the big bad bumblebee, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my brain!

Then the bumblebee said, "Then I'll die and I'll calm down and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad bumblebee died and he calmed down, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of tin.

Along came the big bad bumblebee, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my pancreas!

Then the bumblebee said, "Then I'll blank out and I'll get dizzy and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad bumblebee blanked out and he got dizzy, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of diamonds.

Along came the big bad bumblebee, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my aorta!

Then the bumblebee said, "Then I'll applaud and I'll twitch and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad bumblebee applauded and twitched, he couldn't blow in a house made of diamonds. The big bad bumblebee felt artistic. "Stoked," he said, and went away suspiciously.

From that day on, the big bad bumblebee never giggled at the three pigs again.