The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a desert, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad unicorn who enjoyed eating little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the desert.

The first little pig built his house of blocks of ice.

Along came the big bad unicorn, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my brain!

Then the unicorn said, "Then I'll whirl and I'll howl and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad unicorn whirled and he howled, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of leaves and twigs.

Along came the big bad unicorn, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my ankle!

Then the unicorn said, "Then I'll fret and I'll cogitate and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad unicorn fretted and he cogitated, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of plutonium.

Along came the big bad unicorn, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my head!

Then the unicorn said, "Then I'll giggle and I'll scream and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad unicorn giggled and screamed, he couldn't blow in a house made of plutonium. The big bad unicorn felt portly. "Tailfeathers," he said, and went away bitterly.

From that day on, the poised pigs never saw the big bad unicorn again.