The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live alongside a stream, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad beetle who enjoyed belittling little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors alongside the stream.

The first little pig built his house of marble.

Along came the big bad beetle, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my little toe!

Then the beetle said, "Then I'll expectorate and I'll back down and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad beetle expectorated and he backed down, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of old bones.

Along came the big bad beetle, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my knee!

Then the beetle said, "Then I'll chortle and I'll back down and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad beetle chortled and he backed down, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of corncobs.

Along came the big bad beetle, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my head!

Then the beetle said, "Then I'll fret and I'll back up and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad beetle fretted and backed up, he couldn't blow in a house made of corncobs. The big bad beetle felt blubbery. "Awesome," he said, and went away tearfully.

From that day on, the big bad beetle never belittled the three pigs again.