Rewrite this story

The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a park, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad hawk who enjoyed eating little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the park.

The first little pig built his house of cinder block.

Along came the big bad hawk, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my midriff!

Then the hawk said, "Then I'll sneeze and I'll cry and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad hawk sneezed and she cried, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of old newspapers.

Along came the big bad hawk, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my pituitary gland!

Then the hawk said, "Then I'll curtsey and I'll take a bath and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad hawk curtseyed and she took a bath, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of mud.

Along came the big bad hawk, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my spinal cord!

Then the hawk said, "Then I'll flinch and I'll dither and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad hawk flinched and dithered, she couldn't blow in a house made of mud. The big bad hawk felt petulant. "Jeez," she said, and went away despondently.

From that day on, the lazy pigs never saw the big bad hawk again.