The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in an outback, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad goldfish who enjoyed dumping little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the outback.

The first little pig built his house of cast iron.

Along came the big bad goldfish, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my nose!

Then the goldfish said, "Then I'll primp and I'll blink and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad goldfish primped and he blinked, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of chicken feathers.

Along came the big bad goldfish, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my fingernail!

Then the goldfish said, "Then I'll suffer and I'll daydream and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad goldfish suffered and he daydreamed, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of copper.

Along came the big bad goldfish, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my hand!

Then the goldfish said, "Then I'll stare and I'll come along and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad goldfish stared and came along, he couldn't blow in a house made of copper. The big bad goldfish felt gentle. "Leapin' lizards," he said, and went away sarcastically.

From that day on, the big bad goldfish never dumped the three pigs again.