The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a glen, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad goldfish who enjoyed arguing with little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the glen.

The first little pig built his house of papier-mâché.

Along came the big bad goldfish, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my wig!

Then the goldfish said, "Then I'll exercise and I'll leer and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad goldfish exercised and he leered, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of feathers.

Along came the big bad goldfish, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my shin!

Then the goldfish said, "Then I'll stare into space and I'll rock and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad goldfish stared into space and he rocked, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of flax.

Along came the big bad goldfish, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my calf!

Then the goldfish said, "Then I'll snort and I'll cheer up and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad goldfish snorted and cheered up, he couldn't blow in a house made of flax. The big bad goldfish felt sketchy. "Now we're talking," he said, and went away crankily.

From that day on, the big bad goldfish never argued with the three pigs again.