The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a village, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad gnu who enjoyed banishing little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the village.

The first little pig built his house of palm leaves.

Along came the big bad gnu, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my elbow!

Then the gnu said, "Then I'll gesticulate and I'll burble and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad gnu gesticulated and she burbled, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of papier-mâché.

Along came the big bad gnu, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my liver!

Then the gnu said, "Then I'll applaud and I'll catch up and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad gnu applauded and she caught up, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of flour paste.

Along came the big bad gnu, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my thyroid gland!

Then the gnu said, "Then I'll come along and I'll daydream and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad gnu came along and daydreamed, she couldn't blow in a house made of flour paste. The big bad gnu felt comely. "Achoo," she said, and went away offhandedly.

From that day on, the big bad gnu never banished the three pigs again.