The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a mountaintop, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad ghost who enjoyed burying little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors on the mountaintop.

The first little pig built his house of ribbons.

Along came the big bad ghost, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my ear!

Then the ghost said, "Then I'll sigh and I'll swallow and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad ghost sighed and he swallowed, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of drywall.

Along came the big bad ghost, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my finger!

Then the ghost said, "Then I'll slobber and I'll back up and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad ghost slobbered and he backed up, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of marble.

Along came the big bad ghost, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my neck!

Then the ghost said, "Then I'll play Farmer in the Dell and I'll barf and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad ghost played Farmer in the Dell and barfed, he couldn't blow in a house made of marble. The big bad ghost felt powerful. "By Jove," he said, and went away oddly.

From that day on, the big bad ghost never buried the three pigs again.