The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a plain, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad phantom who enjoyed mocking little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors on the plain.

The first little pig built his house of tempered steel.

Along came the big bad phantom, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my bicep!

Then the phantom said, "Then I'll holler and I'll sneer and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad phantom hollered and she sneered, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of mahogany.

Along came the big bad phantom, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my esophagus!

Then the phantom said, "Then I'll chew and I'll talk and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad phantom chewed and she talked, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of straw bales.

Along came the big bad phantom, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my nostril!

Then the phantom said, "Then I'll bounce and I'll cough and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad phantom bounced and coughed, she couldn't blow in a house made of straw bales. The big bad phantom felt young. "Boohoo," she said, and went away violently.

From that day on, the big bad phantom never mocked the three pigs again.