The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a forest, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad garter snake who enjoyed dumping little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the forest.

The first little pig built his house of pewter.

Along came the big bad garter snake, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my little toe!

Then the garter snake said, "Then I'll murmur and I'll back down and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad garter snake murmured and she backed down, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of wax.

Along came the big bad garter snake, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my elbow!

Then the garter snake said, "Then I'll snuffle and I'll sneeze and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad garter snake snuffled and she sneezed, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of alpaca hair.

Along came the big bad garter snake, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my beard!

Then the garter snake said, "Then I'll meditate and I'll drool and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad garter snake meditated and drooled, she couldn't blow in a house made of alpaca hair. The big bad garter snake felt sinister. "Ooh," she said, and went away nervously.

From that day on, the big bad garter snake never dumped the three pigs again.