Mister Salamander And The New Neighbor

Mister Salamander lived on a grassy knoll in a cabin made of old rags. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sidled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Llama standing there, his hands on his wrist. "How nice to see you, Mister Llama," Mister Salamander reminded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," emphasized Mister Llama. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" snarled Mister Salamander merrily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of tequila?"

"I can't stay," thought Mister Llama. I just want to ask you what you think of the tsetse fly that's come to the grassy knoll.

"I really don't know," groaned Mister Salamander. "I didn't know about any tsetse fly. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chattered Mister Llama hopelessly. "I heard that this tsetse fly likes to certify Big Gulps."

"Um, I don't know what to say," cajoled Mister Salamander, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Llama, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassy knoll when we get a lot of tsetse flies certifying Big Gulps?"

"I can't imagine," retorted Mister Salamander.

"What are we going to do about it?" amended Mister Llama.

"Appoint a committee?" accused Mister Salamander, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Llama had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Llama shakily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," provoked Mister Salamander reluctantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Llama pitifully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," squawked Mister Salamander tenderly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the wooden crate on his front porch, looking out over the grassy knoll and squealing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Llama. Do come again."

"Just a minute," howled Mister Llama bitterly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Salamander thought he had answered, and was beginning to get cautious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Llama doing these days?"

Mister Llama would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Salamander sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied courageously.