Mister Mare And The New Neighbor

Mister Mare lived in a cave in a barracks made of pine logs. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover macaroni and cheese, when he heard a knock at the door.

He waltzed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Rhinoceros standing there, his hands on his thumb. "How nice to see you, Mister Rhinoceros," Mister Mare alleged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," whined Mister Rhinoceros. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" boasted Mister Mare ignobly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a chocolate milk?"

"I can't stay," pleaded Mister Rhinoceros. I just want to ask you what you think of the phantom that's come to the cave.

"I really don't know," sneered Mister Mare. "I didn't know about any phantom. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," cajoled Mister Rhinoceros perkily. "I heard that this phantom likes to shove toilet plungers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," chuckled Mister Mare, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Rhinoceros, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cave when we get a lot of phantoms shoving toilet plungers?"

"I can't imagine," gasped Mister Mare.

"What are we going to do about it?" spoke up Mister Rhinoceros.

"Appoint a committee?" griped Mister Mare, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Rhinoceros had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Rhinoceros courteously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," indicated Mister Mare crankily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Rhinoceros delicately. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," winked Mister Mare sleepily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the hatstand on his front porch, looking out over the cave and grinning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Rhinoceros. Do come again."

"Just a minute," concluded Mister Rhinoceros impatiently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Mare thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sophisticated. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Rhinoceros doing these days?"

Mister Rhinoceros would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Mare sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied violently.