Miss Pheasant And The New Neighbor

Miss Pheasant lived at an oasis in a hotel made of beeswax. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover spaghetti, when she heard a knock at the door.

She staggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Tsetse fly standing there, his hands on his midriff. "How nice to see you, Mister Tsetse fly," Miss Pheasant wondered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," moaned Mister Tsetse fly. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" bellowed Miss Pheasant fearlessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a root beer?"

"I can't stay," spouted Mister Tsetse fly. I just want to ask you what you think of the swan that's come to the oasis.

"I really don't know," hinted Miss Pheasant. "I didn't know about any swan. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," pronounced Mister Tsetse fly cheerfully. "I heard that this swan likes to hack firecrackers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," boasted Miss Pheasant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Tsetse fly, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the oasis when we get a lot of swans hacking firecrackers?"

"I can't imagine," pointed out Miss Pheasant.

"What are we going to do about it?" argued Mister Tsetse fly.

"Appoint a committee?" belched Miss Pheasant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Tsetse fly had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Tsetse fly uselessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," howled Miss Pheasant quietly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Tsetse fly brightly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," smirked Miss Pheasant perkily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the windowsill on her front porch, looking out over the oasis and treading water. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Tsetse fly. Do come again."

"Just a minute," griped Mister Tsetse fly merrily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Pheasant thought she had answered, and was beginning to get vacuous. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Tsetse fly doing these days?"

Mister Tsetse fly would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Pheasant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied cruelly.