Miss Puma And The New Neighbor

Miss Puma lived in a cesspool in an office made of tin. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover waffles, when she heard a knock at the door.

She swung to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Gazelle standing there, his hands on his wig. "How nice to see you, Mister Gazelle," Miss Puma provoked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," exploded Mister Gazelle. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" amended Miss Puma automatically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a double latte?"

"I can't stay," reacted Mister Gazelle. I just want to ask you what you think of the grasshopper that's come to the cesspool.

"I really don't know," scoffed Miss Puma. "I didn't know about any grasshopper. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," groaned Mister Gazelle shyly. "I heard that this grasshopper likes to decontaminate dishes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," emphasized Miss Puma, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Gazelle, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cesspool when we get a lot of grasshoppers decontaminating dishes?"

"I can't imagine," implored Miss Puma.

"What are we going to do about it?" realized Mister Gazelle.

"Appoint a committee?" mumbled Miss Puma, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Gazelle had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Gazelle uneasily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," divulged Miss Puma sleepily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Gazelle cautiously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sniped Miss Puma noisily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the overstuffed chair on her front porch, looking out over the cesspool and howling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Gazelle. Do come again."

"Just a minute," whined Mister Gazelle effortlessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Puma thought she had answered, and was beginning to get suave. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Gazelle doing these days?"

Mister Gazelle would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Puma sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied fearlessly.