Mister Pigeon And The New Neighbor

Mister Pigeon lived on a plain in a yurt made of egg shells. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover sushi, when he heard a knock at the door.

He waddled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Whale standing there, her hands on her leg. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Whale," Mister Pigeon implored, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," wailed Mrs. Whale. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" orated Mister Pigeon courteously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a piña colada?"

"I can't stay," asserted Mrs. Whale. I just want to ask you what you think of the bat that's come to the plain.

"I really don't know," protested Mister Pigeon. "I didn't know about any bat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," implored Mrs. Whale unnaturally. "I heard that this bat likes to heat stuffed kittens."

"Um, I don't know what to say," snarled Mister Pigeon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Whale, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plain when we get a lot of bats heating stuffed kittens?"

"I can't imagine," boomed Mister Pigeon.

"What are we going to do about it?" joked Mrs. Whale.

"Appoint a committee?" argued Mister Pigeon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Whale had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Whale menacingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," screeched Mister Pigeon daintily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Whale menacingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," queried Mister Pigeon uneasily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the sofa on his front porch, looking out over the plain and curtseying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Whale. Do come again."

"Just a minute," breathed Mrs. Whale crazily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Pigeon thought he had answered, and was beginning to get statuesque. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Whale doing these days?"

Mrs. Whale would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Pigeon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied confidently.