Miss Lemur And The New Neighbor

Miss Lemur lived in a briar patch in a motel made of sweat and toil. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pecan pie, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sauntered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Gila monster standing there, his hands on his heart. "How nice to see you, Mister Gila monster," Miss Lemur joked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," hinted Mister Gila monster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" bawled Miss Lemur roughly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Brandy Alexander?"

"I can't stay," worried Mister Gila monster. I just want to ask you what you think of the dormouse that's come to the briar patch.

"I really don't know," questioned Miss Lemur. "I didn't know about any dormouse. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," grieved Mister Gila monster lickety-split. "I heard that this dormouse likes to slap staplers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," inquired Miss Lemur, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Gila monster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the briar patch when we get a lot of dormice slapping staplers?"

"I can't imagine," roared Miss Lemur.

"What are we going to do about it?" persisted Mister Gila monster.

"Appoint a committee?" sighed Miss Lemur, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Gila monster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Gila monster softly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," belched Miss Lemur happily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Gila monster furiously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," spoke up Miss Lemur gleefully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the dresser on her front porch, looking out over the briar patch and thinking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Gila monster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," rumored Mister Gila monster lazily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Lemur thought she had answered, and was beginning to get articulate. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Gila monster doing these days?"

Mister Gila monster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Lemur sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied boisterously.