Miss Bull And The New Neighbor

Miss Bull lived on a range in a manor house made of iron. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hot dogs, when she heard a knock at the door.

She jogged to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Polecat standing there, his hands on his eyeball. "How nice to see you, Mister Polecat," Miss Bull screamed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," worried Mister Polecat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" affirmed Miss Bull fearfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a can of Ensure?"

"I can't stay," mentioned Mister Polecat. I just want to ask you what you think of the flamingo that's come to the range.

"I really don't know," belched Miss Bull. "I didn't know about any flamingo. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," continued Mister Polecat violently. "I heard that this flamingo likes to fry playing cards."

"Um, I don't know what to say," chortled Miss Bull, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Polecat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the range when we get a lot of flamingoes frying playing cards?"

"I can't imagine," intoned Miss Bull.

"What are we going to do about it?" grieved Mister Polecat.

"Appoint a committee?" appealed Miss Bull, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Polecat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Polecat bitterly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," cackled Miss Bull dreamily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Polecat demurely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," amended Miss Bull madly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the casket on her front porch, looking out over the range and catching up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Polecat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," noted Mister Polecat thoughtfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Bull thought she had answered, and was beginning to get stylish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Polecat doing these days?"

Mister Polecat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Bull sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied madly.