Mister Fox And The New Neighbor

Mister Fox lived on a path in a subway tunnel made of plywood. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover spaghetti, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sneaked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Panther standing there, his hands on his liver. "How nice to see you, Mister Panther," Mister Fox revealed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," debated Mister Panther. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" responded Mister Fox automatically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bud Lite?"

"I can't stay," gabbed Mister Panther. I just want to ask you what you think of the tarantula that's come to the path.

"I really don't know," debated Mister Fox. "I didn't know about any tarantula. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," questioned Mister Panther uselessly. "I heard that this tarantula likes to measure big grins."

"Um, I don't know what to say," uttered Mister Fox, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Panther, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the path when we get a lot of tarantulas measureing big grins?"

"I can't imagine," emphasized Mister Fox.

"What are we going to do about it?" divulged Mister Panther.

"Appoint a committee?" declared Mister Fox, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Panther had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Panther thankfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," stuttered Mister Fox sympathetically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Panther frenetically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," panted Mister Fox cruelly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the pool table on his front porch, looking out over the path and sniffling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Panther. Do come again."

"Just a minute," taunted Mister Panther gracefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Fox thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sweet. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Panther doing these days?"

Mister Panther would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Fox sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sharply.