Miss Bull And The New Neighbor

Miss Bull lived in a desert in a Spanish colonial made of platinum. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mushroom quiche, when she heard a knock at the door.

She skidded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Bird standing there, her hands on her gall bladder. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Bird," Miss Bull squealed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," maintained Mrs. Bird. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" informed Miss Bull impatiently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of grape juice?"

"I can't stay," said Mrs. Bird. I just want to ask you what you think of the canary that's come to the desert.

"I really don't know," concluded Miss Bull. "I didn't know about any canary. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sobbed Mrs. Bird delicately. "I heard that this canary likes to beat diamonds."

"Um, I don't know what to say," rumored Miss Bull, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Bird, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the desert when we get a lot of canaries beating diamonds?"

"I can't imagine," decided Miss Bull.

"What are we going to do about it?" chortled Mrs. Bird.

"Appoint a committee?" brought up Miss Bull, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Bird had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Bird frantically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," yammered Miss Bull crossly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Bird flightily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," revealed Miss Bull clumsily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the computer on her front porch, looking out over the desert and scratching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Bird. Do come again."

"Just a minute," professed Mrs. Bird demurely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Bull thought she had answered, and was beginning to get vile. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Bird doing these days?"

Mrs. Bird would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Bull sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied queerly.