Miss Monster And The New Neighbor

Miss Monster lived in a pasture in a townhouse made of plastic. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover catfish stew, when she heard a knock at the door.

She slunk to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Crow standing there, his hands on his stomach. "How nice to see you, Mister Crow," Miss Monster announced, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," howled Mister Crow. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" worried Miss Monster cheerfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a 7-Up?"

"I can't stay," shuddered Mister Crow. I just want to ask you what you think of the reindeer that's come to the pasture.

"I really don't know," vowed Miss Monster. "I didn't know about any reindeer. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," purred Mister Crow numbly. "I heard that this reindeer likes to push cactus plants."

"Um, I don't know what to say," chanted Miss Monster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Crow, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the pasture when we get a lot of reindeer pushing cactus plants?"

"I can't imagine," cackled Miss Monster.

"What are we going to do about it?" vouched Mister Crow.

"Appoint a committee?" answered Miss Monster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Crow had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Crow obediently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sobbed Miss Monster speedily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Crow coldly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," chanted Miss Monster caustically, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the rocking chair on her front porch, looking out over the pasture and growling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Crow. Do come again."

"Just a minute," sighed Mister Crow anxiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Monster thought she had answered, and was beginning to get heavyset. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Crow doing these days?"

Mister Crow would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Monster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied woodenly.