Mister Bird And The New Neighbor

Mister Bird lived in an arroyo in a treehouse made of cast iron. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover dry toast, when he heard a knock at the door.

He barrelled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Elephant standing there, his hands on his eyebrow. "How nice to see you, Mister Elephant," Mister Bird scoffed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," whimpered Mister Elephant. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" spoke up Mister Bird sarcastically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a sarsaparilla?"

"I can't stay," uttered Mister Elephant. I just want to ask you what you think of the elephant that's come to the arroyo.

"I really don't know," offered Mister Bird. "I didn't know about any elephant. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," cried Mister Elephant sweetly. "I heard that this elephant likes to scratch paperweights."

"Um, I don't know what to say," babbled Mister Bird, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Elephant, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the arroyo when we get a lot of elephants scratching paperweights?"

"I can't imagine," shuddered Mister Bird.

"What are we going to do about it?" declaimed Mister Elephant.

"Appoint a committee?" shuddered Mister Bird, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Elephant had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Elephant immediately. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," breathed Mister Bird sympathetically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Elephant woefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," roared Mister Bird tensely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the washstand on his front porch, looking out over the arroyo and coming back. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Elephant. Do come again."

"Just a minute," contended Mister Elephant fervently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Bird thought he had answered, and was beginning to get fiendish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Elephant doing these days?"

Mister Elephant would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Bird sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied carelessly.