Mister Tapeworm And The New Neighbor

Mister Tapeworm lived at a crime scene in a chapel made of tiles. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover applesauce, when he heard a knock at the door.

He skipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Troll standing there, her hands on her skin. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Troll," Mister Tapeworm contended, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," spouted Mrs. Troll. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" snorted Mister Tapeworm vigorously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot chocolate?"

"I can't stay," spat Mrs. Troll. I just want to ask you what you think of the phantom that's come to the crime scene.

"I really don't know," comforted Mister Tapeworm. "I didn't know about any phantom. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," smirked Mrs. Troll firmly. "I heard that this phantom likes to smell candy bars."

"Um, I don't know what to say," rationalized Mister Tapeworm, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Troll, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the crime scene when we get a lot of phantoms smelling candy bars?"

"I can't imagine," commented Mister Tapeworm.

"What are we going to do about it?" sputtered Mrs. Troll.

"Appoint a committee?" hummed Mister Tapeworm, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Troll had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Troll cautiously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," drawled Mister Tapeworm repeatedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Troll bitterly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," emphasized Mister Tapeworm stealthily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the umbrella stand on his front porch, looking out over the crime scene and cheering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Troll. Do come again."

"Just a minute," instructed Mrs. Troll woodenly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Tapeworm thought he had answered, and was beginning to get insane. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Troll doing these days?"

Mrs. Troll would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Tapeworm sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied doubtfully.