Mister Warthog And The New Neighbor

Mister Warthog lived beside a river in a mud hut made of metal. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Froot Loops, when he heard a knock at the door.

He made a beeline to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Computer standing there, his hands on his dignity. "How nice to see you, Mister Computer," Mister Warthog mentioned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," whispered Mister Computer. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" whined Mister Warthog woodenly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a rum and Coke?"

"I can't stay," sniped Mister Computer. I just want to ask you what you think of the troll that's come to the river.

"I really don't know," blurted Mister Warthog. "I didn't know about any troll. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," reasoned Mister Computer daringly. "I heard that this troll likes to lose telephone books."

"Um, I don't know what to say," accused Mister Warthog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Computer, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the river when we get a lot of trolls losing telephone books?"

"I can't imagine," mentioned Mister Warthog.

"What are we going to do about it?" drawled Mister Computer.

"Appoint a committee?" rationalized Mister Warthog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Computer had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Computer zestily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," pronounced Mister Warthog patiently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Computer grudgingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," panted Mister Warthog angrily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the crib on his front porch, looking out over the river and flushing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Computer. Do come again."

"Just a minute," questioned Mister Computer greedily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Warthog thought he had answered, and was beginning to get nervous. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Computer doing these days?"

Mister Computer would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Warthog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied glibly.