Miss Spider And The New Neighbor

Miss Spider lived in a desert in a castle made of titanium. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hors d'oeuvre, when she heard a knock at the door.

She paraded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Hyena standing there, his hands on his heart. "How nice to see you, Mister Hyena," Miss Spider imitated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," remarked Mister Hyena. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" lamented Miss Spider hysterically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Jack Daniel's?"

"I can't stay," judged Mister Hyena. I just want to ask you what you think of the hog that's come to the desert.

"I really don't know," divulged Miss Spider. "I didn't know about any hog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chortled Mister Hyena strictly. "I heard that this hog likes to wax calling cards."

"Um, I don't know what to say," called Miss Spider, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Hyena, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the desert when we get a lot of hogs waxing calling cards?"

"I can't imagine," indicated Miss Spider.

"What are we going to do about it?" argued Mister Hyena.

"Appoint a committee?" shrieked Miss Spider, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Hyena had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Hyena crankily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," responded Miss Spider speedily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Hyena sagely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," wept Miss Spider viciously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the overstuffed chair on her front porch, looking out over the desert and burbling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Hyena. Do come again."

"Just a minute," blurted Mister Hyena sleepily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Spider thought she had answered, and was beginning to get stubby. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Hyena doing these days?"

Mister Hyena would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Spider sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied zestily.