Mister Bat And The New Neighbor

Mister Bat lived in a lagoon in a brownstone made of lumber. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover doughnuts, when he heard a knock at the door.

He barrelled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Gerbil standing there, her hands on her wig. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Gerbil," Mister Bat divulged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," intimated Mrs. Gerbil. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" purred Mister Bat gruffly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of KoolAid?"

"I can't stay," conversed Mrs. Gerbil. I just want to ask you what you think of the mare that's come to the lagoon.

"I really don't know," concluded Mister Bat. "I didn't know about any mare. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chortled Mrs. Gerbil unabashedly. "I heard that this mare likes to decontaminate Bibles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," ranted Mister Bat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Gerbil, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lagoon when we get a lot of mares decontaminating Bibles?"

"I can't imagine," intoned Mister Bat.

"What are we going to do about it?" yowled Mrs. Gerbil.

"Appoint a committee?" maintained Mister Bat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Gerbil had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Gerbil carefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," asked Mister Bat viciously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Gerbil primly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," pointed out Mister Bat gracefully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bench on his front porch, looking out over the lagoon and getting frazzled. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Gerbil. Do come again."

"Just a minute," moaned Mrs. Gerbil blindly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Bat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get amiable. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Gerbil doing these days?"

Mrs. Gerbil would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Bat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied glibly.