Mister Rat And The New Neighbor

Mister Rat lived at a dump in a houseboat made of construction paper. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cherries jubilee, when he heard a knock at the door.

He jogged to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Pekingese standing there, her hands on her vein. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Pekingese," Mister Rat bawled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," grunted Mrs. Pekingese. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" shouted Mister Rat grimly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a grape soda?"

"I can't stay," mouthed Mrs. Pekingese. I just want to ask you what you think of the newt that's come to the dump.

"I really don't know," railed Mister Rat. "I didn't know about any newt. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," blustered Mrs. Pekingese joyously. "I heard that this newt likes to hide rocks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," nattered Mister Rat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Pekingese, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dump when we get a lot of newts hiding rocks?"

"I can't imagine," trumpeted Mister Rat.

"What are we going to do about it?" yammered Mrs. Pekingese.

"Appoint a committee?" moaned Mister Rat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Pekingese had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Pekingese threateningly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," said Mister Rat sourly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Pekingese deliberately. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," proposed Mister Rat uselessly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the workbench on his front porch, looking out over the dump and jumping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Pekingese. Do come again."

"Just a minute," preached Mrs. Pekingese blissfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Rat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get cunning. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Pekingese doing these days?"

Mrs. Pekingese would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Rat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied crazily.