Miss Pheasant And The New Neighbor

Miss Pheasant lived on a veld in a motor home made of gingerbread. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover steak, when she heard a knock at the door.

She clambered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Walrus standing there, his hands on his waist. "How nice to see you, Mister Walrus," Miss Pheasant demanded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," jeered Mister Walrus. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" hinted Miss Pheasant wryly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a painkiller?"

"I can't stay," quoted Mister Walrus. I just want to ask you what you think of the fish that's come to the veld.

"I really don't know," prattled Miss Pheasant. "I didn't know about any fish. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," quoted Mister Walrus breathlessly. "I heard that this fish likes to ruin pain pills."

"Um, I don't know what to say," cajoled Miss Pheasant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Walrus, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the veld when we get a lot of fish ruining pain pills?"

"I can't imagine," thought Miss Pheasant.

"What are we going to do about it?" vouched Mister Walrus.

"Appoint a committee?" thought Miss Pheasant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Walrus had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Walrus tensely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," complained Miss Pheasant properly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Walrus cruelly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," screamed Miss Pheasant nicely, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the stairway on her front porch, looking out over the veld and crouching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Walrus. Do come again."

"Just a minute," shuddered Mister Walrus merrily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Pheasant thought she had answered, and was beginning to get powerful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Walrus doing these days?"

Mister Walrus would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Pheasant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied swiftly.