Miss Sloth And The New Neighbor

Miss Sloth lived in a dumpster in a Cape Cod made of tissue. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lobster, when she heard a knock at the door.

She paraded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Coyote standing there, her hands on her bladder. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Coyote," Miss Sloth invited, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," wondered Mrs. Coyote. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" growled Miss Sloth jokingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin fizz?"

"I can't stay," conversed Mrs. Coyote. I just want to ask you what you think of the hog that's come to the dumpster.

"I really don't know," decided Miss Sloth. "I didn't know about any hog. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chattered Mrs. Coyote positively. "I heard that this hog likes to grind abacuses."

"Um, I don't know what to say," burbled Miss Sloth, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Coyote, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dumpster when we get a lot of hogs grinding abacuses?"

"I can't imagine," provoked Miss Sloth.

"What are we going to do about it?" explained Mrs. Coyote.

"Appoint a committee?" suggested Miss Sloth, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Coyote had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Coyote grimly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," begged Miss Sloth solemnly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Coyote lovingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," roared Miss Sloth recklessly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the sofa on her front porch, looking out over the dumpster and burping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Coyote. Do come again."

"Just a minute," yelped Mrs. Coyote immediately. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Sloth thought she had answered, and was beginning to get princely. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Coyote doing these days?"

Mrs. Coyote would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Sloth sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied suddenly.