Mister Zebra And The New Neighbor

Mister Zebra lived on a mountaintop in a villa made of jewels. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sailed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Dachshund standing there, her hands on her horn. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Dachshund," Mister Zebra chimed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," voiced Mrs. Dachshund. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" blathered Mister Zebra glumly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gimlet?"

"I can't stay," disputed Mrs. Dachshund. I just want to ask you what you think of the crocodile that's come to the mountaintop.

"I really don't know," spoke up Mister Zebra. "I didn't know about any crocodile. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," asked Mrs. Dachshund cheerfully. "I heard that this crocodile likes to attack salt shakers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," preached Mister Zebra, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Dachshund, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountaintop when we get a lot of crocodiles attacking salt shakers?"

"I can't imagine," responded Mister Zebra.

"What are we going to do about it?" whined Mrs. Dachshund.

"Appoint a committee?" crooned Mister Zebra, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Dachshund had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Dachshund lamely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," comforted Mister Zebra cruelly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Dachshund fondly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," shouted Mister Zebra lickety-split, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the beanbag chair on his front porch, looking out over the mountaintop and sleeping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Dachshund. Do come again."

"Just a minute," reacted Mrs. Dachshund obediently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Zebra thought he had answered, and was beginning to get puzzled. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Dachshund doing these days?"

Mrs. Dachshund would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Zebra sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied fervently.