Mister Fish And The New Neighbor

Mister Fish lived at a dump in a chalet made of old bones. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover shrimp, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slithered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Gila monster standing there, his hands on his intestine. "How nice to see you, Mister Gila monster," Mister Fish preached, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," decided Mister Gila monster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" debated Mister Fish demurely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of Kool-Aid?"

"I can't stay," offered Mister Gila monster. I just want to ask you what you think of the ass that's come to the dump.

"I really don't know," gabbed Mister Fish. "I didn't know about any ass. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," avowed Mister Gila monster properly. "I heard that this ass likes to pack rubber stamps."

"Um, I don't know what to say," harangued Mister Fish, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Gila monster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dump when we get a lot of asses packing rubber stamps?"

"I can't imagine," interrupted Mister Fish.

"What are we going to do about it?" insisted Mister Gila monster.

"Appoint a committee?" stated Mister Fish, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Gila monster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Gila monster timidly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," wondered Mister Fish recklessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Gila monster brashly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sniped Mister Fish sourly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the water bed on his front porch, looking out over the dump and scribbling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Gila monster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," guessed Mister Gila monster sourly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Fish thought he had answered, and was beginning to get nonchalant. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Gila monster doing these days?"

Mister Gila monster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Fish sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied courageously.