Mister Louse And The New Neighbor

Mister Louse lived in a park in a crypt made of jewels. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ravioli, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sprinted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Falcon standing there, his hands on his artery. "How nice to see you, Mister Falcon," Mister Louse quavered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," mouthed Mister Falcon. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" stated Mister Louse suavely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of milk?"

"I can't stay," amended Mister Falcon. I just want to ask you what you think of the iguana that's come to the park.

"I really don't know," called Mister Louse. "I didn't know about any iguana. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chattered Mister Falcon threateningly. "I heard that this iguana likes to push stuffed kittens."

"Um, I don't know what to say," squawked Mister Louse, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Falcon, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the park when we get a lot of iguanas pushing stuffed kittens?"

"I can't imagine," contended Mister Louse.

"What are we going to do about it?" reminded Mister Falcon.

"Appoint a committee?" sighed Mister Louse, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Falcon had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Falcon intensely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," smirked Mister Louse ingeniously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Falcon again. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," affirmed Mister Louse suddenly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cupboard on his front porch, looking out over the park and huffing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Falcon. Do come again."

"Just a minute," sniveled Mister Falcon tearfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Louse thought he had answered, and was beginning to get diabolical. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Falcon doing these days?"

Mister Falcon would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Louse sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied tensely.