Mister Jaguar And The New Neighbor

Mister Jaguar lived in a marsh in a parsonage made of rope. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover French fries, when he heard a knock at the door.

He struggled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. German Shepherd standing there, her hands on her collarbone. "How nice to see you, Mrs. German Shepherd," Mister Jaguar avowed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," gasped Mrs. German Shepherd. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" sniveled Mister Jaguar recklessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cambric tea?"

"I can't stay," hissed Mrs. German Shepherd. I just want to ask you what you think of the mountain goat that's come to the marsh.

"I really don't know," howled Mister Jaguar. "I didn't know about any mountain goat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," appealed Mrs. German Shepherd lovingly. "I heard that this mountain goat likes to identify church keys."

"Um, I don't know what to say," whispered Mister Jaguar, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. German Shepherd, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the marsh when we get a lot of mountain goats identifying church keys?"

"I can't imagine," hollered Mister Jaguar.

"What are we going to do about it?" amended Mrs. German Shepherd.

"Appoint a committee?" sneered Mister Jaguar, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. German Shepherd had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. German Shepherd slyly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spoke up Mister Jaguar sternly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. German Shepherd tenderly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," began Mister Jaguar ruefully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the futon on his front porch, looking out over the marsh and fainting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. German Shepherd. Do come again."

"Just a minute," interpreted Mrs. German Shepherd ruefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Jaguar thought he had answered, and was beginning to get unruffled. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister German Shepherd doing these days?"

Mrs. German Shepherd would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Jaguar sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied brightly.