Mister Tropical Fish And The New Neighbor

Mister Tropical fish lived on a savanna in a spa made of flax. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lobster, when he heard a knock at the door.

He skittered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Dachshund standing there, his hands on his hip. "How nice to see you, Mister Dachshund," Mister Tropical fish exclaimed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," harangued Mister Dachshund. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" reminded Mister Tropical fish sheepishly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a martini?"

"I can't stay," quavered Mister Dachshund. I just want to ask you what you think of the grasshopper that's come to the savanna.

"I really don't know," swore Mister Tropical fish. "I didn't know about any grasshopper. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sniveled Mister Dachshund daintily. "I heard that this grasshopper likes to harden balls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," chortled Mister Tropical fish, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Dachshund, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the savanna when we get a lot of grasshoppers hardening balls?"

"I can't imagine," yelped Mister Tropical fish.

"What are we going to do about it?" smiled Mister Dachshund.

"Appoint a committee?" bawled Mister Tropical fish, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Dachshund had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Dachshund intensely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," contended Mister Tropical fish blissfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Dachshund joyously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," stuttered Mister Tropical fish cruelly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cash register on his front porch, looking out over the savanna and burbling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Dachshund. Do come again."

"Just a minute," uttered Mister Dachshund urgently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Tropical fish thought he had answered, and was beginning to get insane. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Dachshund doing these days?"

Mister Dachshund would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Tropical fish sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied charmingly.