Miss German Shepherd And The New Neighbor

Miss German Shepherd lived in a cesspool in a Cape Cod made of linen. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pie a la mode, when she heard a knock at the door.

She bounded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Caribou standing there, her hands on her spinal cord. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Caribou," Miss German Shepherd insisted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," declaimed Mrs. Caribou. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" pronounced Miss German Shepherd elatedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Manhattan?"

"I can't stay," grieved Mrs. Caribou. I just want to ask you what you think of the cow that's come to the cesspool.

"I really don't know," disputed Miss German Shepherd. "I didn't know about any cow. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," alleged Mrs. Caribou effortlessly. "I heard that this cow likes to wash spoons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," urged Miss German Shepherd, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Caribou, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cesspool when we get a lot of cows washing spoons?"

"I can't imagine," persisted Miss German Shepherd.

"What are we going to do about it?" vouched Mrs. Caribou.

"Appoint a committee?" burbled Miss German Shepherd, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Caribou had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Caribou resignedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," alleged Miss German Shepherd dubiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Caribou firmly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," wailed Miss German Shepherd curiously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the billiard table on her front porch, looking out over the cesspool and getting upset. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Caribou. Do come again."

"Just a minute," cried Mrs. Caribou suavely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss German Shepherd thought she had answered, and was beginning to get cute. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Caribou doing these days?"

Mrs. Caribou would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss German Shepherd sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied roughly.