Mister Parakeet And The New Neighbor

Mister Parakeet lived in a jungle in a log cabin made of string. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover waffles, when he heard a knock at the door.

He jogged to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Swan standing there, her hands on her chin. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Swan," Mister Parakeet added, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," wondered Mrs. Swan. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" prattled Mister Parakeet dubiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an ice cream soda?"

"I can't stay," groaned Mrs. Swan. I just want to ask you what you think of the anteater that's come to the jungle.

"I really don't know," cried Mister Parakeet. "I didn't know about any anteater. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," simpered Mrs. Swan violently. "I heard that this anteater likes to seize iPads."

"Um, I don't know what to say," began Mister Parakeet, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Swan, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the jungle when we get a lot of anteaters seizing iPads?"

"I can't imagine," winked Mister Parakeet.

"What are we going to do about it?" smirked Mrs. Swan.

"Appoint a committee?" quavered Mister Parakeet, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Swan had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Swan glumly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," remarked Mister Parakeet perkily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Swan numbly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," said Mister Parakeet doubtfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cash register on his front porch, looking out over the jungle and bleeding. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Swan. Do come again."

"Just a minute," scoffed Mrs. Swan needlessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Parakeet thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sleek. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Swan doing these days?"

Mrs. Swan would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Parakeet sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied needlessly.