Mister Monkey And The New Neighbor

Mister Monkey lived in a hayfield in a chalet made of fairy dust. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ravioli, when he heard a knock at the door.

He made a beeline to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Chihuahua standing there, her hands on her hip. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Chihuahua," Mister Monkey opined, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sniped Mrs. Chihuahua. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" acknowledged Mister Monkey truculently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," uttered Mrs. Chihuahua. I just want to ask you what you think of the bandicoot that's come to the hayfield.

"I really don't know," cackled Mister Monkey. "I didn't know about any bandicoot. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," groveled Mrs. Chihuahua busily. "I heard that this bandicoot likes to clamp pairs of binoculars."

"Um, I don't know what to say," spat Mister Monkey, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Chihuahua, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hayfield when we get a lot of bandicoots clamping pairs of binoculars?"

"I can't imagine," mumbled Mister Monkey.

"What are we going to do about it?" crooned Mrs. Chihuahua.

"Appoint a committee?" exploded Mister Monkey, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Chihuahua had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Chihuahua narrowly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," rebutted Mister Monkey sourly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Chihuahua peevishly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," mused Mister Monkey noisily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the sofa on his front porch, looking out over the hayfield and ruminating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Chihuahua. Do come again."

"Just a minute," phrased Mrs. Chihuahua glumly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Monkey thought he had answered, and was beginning to get demented. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Chihuahua doing these days?"

Mrs. Chihuahua would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Monkey sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied nicely.