Miss Partridge And The New Neighbor

Miss Partridge lived in a gully in a park bench made of sewage. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken soup, when she heard a knock at the door.

She cantered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Banana slug standing there, his hands on his kidney. "How nice to see you, Mister Banana slug," Miss Partridge divulged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," fumed Mister Banana slug. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" winked Miss Partridge boldly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cosmopolitan?"

"I can't stay," shrieked Mister Banana slug. I just want to ask you what you think of the whale that's come to the gully.

"I really don't know," judged Miss Partridge. "I didn't know about any whale. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," begged Mister Banana slug sadly. "I heard that this whale likes to shred pairs of fuzzy dice."

"Um, I don't know what to say," lectured Miss Partridge, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Banana slug, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the gully when we get a lot of whales shredding pairs of fuzzy dice?"

"I can't imagine," spewed Miss Partridge.

"What are we going to do about it?" avowed Mister Banana slug.

"Appoint a committee?" recited Miss Partridge, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Banana slug had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Banana slug later. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," chimed Miss Partridge carelessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Banana slug testily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," implored Miss Partridge energetically, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the armoire on her front porch, looking out over the gully and adjusting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Banana slug. Do come again."

"Just a minute," grunted Mister Banana slug flightily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Partridge thought she had answered, and was beginning to get evil. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Banana slug doing these days?"

Mister Banana slug would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Partridge sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied admiringly.