Miss Macaque And The New Neighbor

Miss Macaque lived on a hillside in a manor house made of foam. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover enchiladas, when she heard a knock at the door.

She lumbered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Hornet standing there, his hands on his buttocks. "How nice to see you, Mister Hornet," Miss Macaque inquired, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sobbed Mister Hornet. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" articulated Miss Macaque accidentally, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of apple juice?"

"I can't stay," responded Mister Hornet. I just want to ask you what you think of the tiger that's come to the hillside.

"I really don't know," blathered Miss Macaque. "I didn't know about any tiger. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," phrased Mister Hornet blissfully. "I heard that this tiger likes to copy hubcaps."

"Um, I don't know what to say," rationalized Miss Macaque, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Hornet, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hillside when we get a lot of tigers copying hubcaps?"

"I can't imagine," quavered Miss Macaque.

"What are we going to do about it?" ranted Mister Hornet.

"Appoint a committee?" screamed Miss Macaque, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Hornet had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Hornet sadly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," bellowed Miss Macaque gingerly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Hornet cheerfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," persisted Miss Macaque sleepily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the overstuffed chair on her front porch, looking out over the hillside and panting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Hornet. Do come again."

"Just a minute," judged Mister Hornet rapidly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Macaque thought she had answered, and was beginning to get weary. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Hornet doing these days?"

Mister Hornet would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Macaque sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied diligently.