Miss Gazelle And The New Neighbor

Miss Gazelle lived in a canyon in a condominium made of plastic. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ravioli, when she heard a knock at the door.

She scampered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Tarantula standing there, his hands on his eyeball. "How nice to see you, Mister Tarantula," Miss Gazelle instructed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," rebutted Mister Tarantula. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" alleged Miss Gazelle silently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of apricot juice?"

"I can't stay," observed Mister Tarantula. I just want to ask you what you think of the aardvark that's come to the canyon.

"I really don't know," barked Miss Gazelle. "I didn't know about any aardvark. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," repeated Mister Tarantula languidly. "I heard that this aardvark likes to crush coat check tickets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," belched Miss Gazelle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Tarantula, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the canyon when we get a lot of aardvarks crushing coat check tickets?"

"I can't imagine," fretted Miss Gazelle.

"What are we going to do about it?" said Mister Tarantula.

"Appoint a committee?" guessed Miss Gazelle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Tarantula had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Tarantula crankily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," pronounced Miss Gazelle happily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Tarantula admiringly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," intoned Miss Gazelle madly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the fainting couch on her front porch, looking out over the canyon and waking up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Tarantula. Do come again."

"Just a minute," breathed Mister Tarantula unnaturally. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Gazelle thought she had answered, and was beginning to get weary. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Tarantula doing these days?"

Mister Tarantula would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Gazelle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied grimly.