Mister Bat And The New Neighbor

Mister Bat lived in a badlands area in a convent made of cinder block. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fish and chips, when he heard a knock at the door.

He scurried to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Panther standing there, her hands on her knee. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Panther," Mister Bat gabbed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," blurted Mrs. Panther. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" indicated Mister Bat tearfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Coke?"

"I can't stay," shuddered Mrs. Panther. I just want to ask you what you think of the anaconda that's come to the badlands area.

"I really don't know," asked Mister Bat. "I didn't know about any anaconda. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," grieved Mrs. Panther unnaturally. "I heard that this anaconda likes to dye pop bottles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," fumed Mister Bat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Panther, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the badlands area when we get a lot of anacondas dyeing pop bottles?"

"I can't imagine," uttered Mister Bat.

"What are we going to do about it?" ranted Mrs. Panther.

"Appoint a committee?" prattled Mister Bat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Panther had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Panther admiringly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," rumored Mister Bat gingerly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Panther lovingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," snorted Mister Bat delicately, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the mattress on his front porch, looking out over the badlands area and standing by. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Panther. Do come again."

"Just a minute," argued Mrs. Panther madly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Bat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get jolly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Panther doing these days?"

Mrs. Panther would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Bat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied shyly.