Miss Manticore And The New Neighbor

Miss Manticore lived at a crime scene in an igloo made of pine logs. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover falafel, when she heard a knock at the door.

She zipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Spider standing there, his hands on his little finger. "How nice to see you, Mister Spider," Miss Manticore joked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," agreed Mister Spider. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" squealed Miss Manticore briskly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of water?"

"I can't stay," intoned Mister Spider. I just want to ask you what you think of the warthog that's come to the crime scene.

"I really don't know," exclaimed Miss Manticore. "I didn't know about any warthog. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," repeated Mister Spider courageously. "I heard that this warthog likes to blacken clipboards."

"Um, I don't know what to say," hissed Miss Manticore, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Spider, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the crime scene when we get a lot of warthogs blackening clipboards?"

"I can't imagine," offered Miss Manticore.

"What are we going to do about it?" growled Mister Spider.

"Appoint a committee?" wondered Miss Manticore, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Spider had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Spider courteously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," rumored Miss Manticore sharply, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Spider courageously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," spouted Miss Manticore lazily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the footstool on her front porch, looking out over the crime scene and raising an eyebrow. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Spider. Do come again."

"Just a minute," nattered Mister Spider unabashedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Manticore thought she had answered, and was beginning to get spindly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Spider doing these days?"

Mister Spider would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Manticore sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied fearfully.