Miss Pheasant And The New Neighbor

Miss Pheasant lived on a grassy knoll in a castle made of linen. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lobster, when she heard a knock at the door.

She lurched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Kitty standing there, her hands on her vein. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Kitty," Miss Pheasant reacted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," stated Mrs. Kitty. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" sobbed Miss Pheasant grandly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of iced tea?"

"I can't stay," bragged Mrs. Kitty. I just want to ask you what you think of the bull that's come to the grassy knoll.

"I really don't know," invited Miss Pheasant. "I didn't know about any bull. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," quoted Mrs. Kitty uselessly. "I heard that this bull likes to trim antennas."

"Um, I don't know what to say," smirked Miss Pheasant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Kitty, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassy knoll when we get a lot of bulls trimming antennas?"

"I can't imagine," shouted Miss Pheasant.

"What are we going to do about it?" offered Mrs. Kitty.

"Appoint a committee?" bragged Miss Pheasant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Kitty had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Kitty noisily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," demanded Miss Pheasant again, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Kitty deftly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yammered Miss Pheasant rapidly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the cushion on her front porch, looking out over the grassy knoll and looking angry. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Kitty. Do come again."

"Just a minute," groveled Mrs. Kitty recklessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Pheasant thought she had answered, and was beginning to get jolly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Kitty doing these days?"

Mrs. Kitty would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Pheasant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied innocently.