Miss Goat And The New Neighbor

Miss Goat lived in a hayfield in a nunnery made of duct tape. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast beef, when she heard a knock at the door.

She darted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Doggie standing there, her hands on her appendix. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Doggie," Miss Goat panted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," implored Mrs. Doggie. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" moaned Miss Goat properly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of cocoa?"

"I can't stay," asserted Mrs. Doggie. I just want to ask you what you think of the cockatiel that's come to the hayfield.

"I really don't know," accused Miss Goat. "I didn't know about any cockatiel. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sniffed Mrs. Doggie solemnly. "I heard that this cockatiel likes to replace vacuum cleaners."

"Um, I don't know what to say," blubbered Miss Goat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Doggie, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hayfield when we get a lot of cockatiels replacing vacuum cleaners?"

"I can't imagine," invited Miss Goat.

"What are we going to do about it?" hollered Mrs. Doggie.

"Appoint a committee?" argued Miss Goat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Doggie had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Doggie cunningly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," stammered Miss Goat merrily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Doggie breathlessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," murmured Miss Goat curiously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bath mat on her front porch, looking out over the hayfield and hanging around. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Doggie. Do come again."

"Just a minute," articulated Mrs. Doggie boisterously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Goat thought she had answered, and was beginning to get playful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Doggie doing these days?"

Mrs. Doggie would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Goat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied hastily.