Mister Weasel And The New Neighbor

Mister Weasel lived on a tundra in a box made of mud bricks. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pumpkin pie, when he heard a knock at the door.

He flounced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Hedgehog standing there, his hands on his larynx. "How nice to see you, Mister Hedgehog," Mister Weasel professed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," groveled Mister Hedgehog. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" stormed Mister Weasel demurely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a martini?"

"I can't stay," lamented Mister Hedgehog. I just want to ask you what you think of the wolverine that's come to the tundra.

"I really don't know," argued Mister Weasel. "I didn't know about any wolverine. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chortled Mister Hedgehog woodenly. "I heard that this wolverine likes to remove firecrackers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," recited Mister Weasel, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Hedgehog, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the tundra when we get a lot of wolverines removing firecrackers?"

"I can't imagine," rationalized Mister Weasel.

"What are we going to do about it?" mentioned Mister Hedgehog.

"Appoint a committee?" complained Mister Weasel, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Hedgehog had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Hedgehog tensely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," chortled Mister Weasel softly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Hedgehog tearfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," queried Mister Weasel vacantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the nightstand on his front porch, looking out over the tundra and clapping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Hedgehog. Do come again."

"Just a minute," rambled Mister Hedgehog blankly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Weasel thought he had answered, and was beginning to get deadly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Hedgehog doing these days?"

Mister Hedgehog would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Weasel sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied admiringly.