Mister Airedale And The New Neighbor

Mister Airedale lived on an island in a houseboat made of stardust. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chopped liver, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tramped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Canary standing there, her hands on her bladder. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Canary," Mister Airedale invited, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," shrieked Mrs. Canary. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" comforted Mister Airedale joyously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of eggnog?"

"I can't stay," realized Mrs. Canary. I just want to ask you what you think of the cocker spaniel that's come to the island.

"I really don't know," voiced Mister Airedale. "I didn't know about any cocker spaniel. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," jeered Mrs. Canary uneasily. "I heard that this cocker spaniel likes to shellac staplers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," rationalized Mister Airedale, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Canary, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the island when we get a lot of cocker spaniels shellacking staplers?"

"I can't imagine," begged Mister Airedale.

"What are we going to do about it?" drawled Mrs. Canary.

"Appoint a committee?" yelped Mister Airedale, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Canary had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Canary speedily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," insisted Mister Airedale valiantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Canary sympathetically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," smiled Mister Airedale haughtily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the settee on his front porch, looking out over the island and lying down. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Canary. Do come again."

"Just a minute," boasted Mrs. Canary truculently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Airedale thought he had answered, and was beginning to get spunky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Canary doing these days?"

Mrs. Canary would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Airedale sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied glumly.