Miss Leopard And The New Neighbor

Miss Leopard lived at an oasis in a crypt made of lithium. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hors d'oeuvre, when she heard a knock at the door.

She galumphed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Dinosaur standing there, her hands on her skull. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Dinosaur," Miss Leopard protested, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yammered Mrs. Dinosaur. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" said Miss Leopard unnaturally, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin and tonic?"

"I can't stay," interrupted Mrs. Dinosaur. I just want to ask you what you think of the wolverine that's come to the oasis.

"I really don't know," gabbed Miss Leopard. "I didn't know about any wolverine. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," smiled Mrs. Dinosaur crazily. "I heard that this wolverine likes to chop batons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," blathered Miss Leopard, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Dinosaur, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the oasis when we get a lot of wolverines chopping batons?"

"I can't imagine," repeated Miss Leopard.

"What are we going to do about it?" queried Mrs. Dinosaur.

"Appoint a committee?" swore Miss Leopard, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Dinosaur had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Dinosaur positively. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," answered Miss Leopard intensely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Dinosaur craftily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," fantasized Miss Leopard lovingly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the pedestal on her front porch, looking out over the oasis and puckering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Dinosaur. Do come again."

"Just a minute," concluded Mrs. Dinosaur suddenly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Leopard thought she had answered, and was beginning to get stern. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Dinosaur doing these days?"

Mrs. Dinosaur would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Leopard sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied ignobly.