Mister Duck-billed Platypus And The New Neighbor

Mister Duck-billed platypus lived in a field in a manor made of felt. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hot dogs, when he heard a knock at the door.

He hopped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Ape standing there, his hands on his gut. "How nice to see you, Mister Ape," Mister Duck-billed platypus mentioned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," intimated Mister Ape. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" wondered Mister Duck-billed platypus vacantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of apple juice?"

"I can't stay," fretted Mister Ape. I just want to ask you what you think of the mountain goat that's come to the field.

"I really don't know," fumed Mister Duck-billed platypus. "I didn't know about any mountain goat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," admitted Mister Ape strictly. "I heard that this mountain goat likes to slice umbrellas."

"Um, I don't know what to say," requested Mister Duck-billed platypus, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Ape, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the field when we get a lot of mountain goats slicing umbrellas?"

"I can't imagine," concluded Mister Duck-billed platypus.

"What are we going to do about it?" guessed Mister Ape.

"Appoint a committee?" whimpered Mister Duck-billed platypus, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Ape had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Ape stupidly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," mouthed Mister Duck-billed platypus intensely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Ape mysteriously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," explained Mister Duck-billed platypus resignedly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the coffee table on his front porch, looking out over the field and watching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Ape. Do come again."

"Just a minute," fretted Mister Ape urgently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Duck-billed platypus thought he had answered, and was beginning to get stylish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Ape doing these days?"

Mister Ape would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Duck-billed platypus sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied patiently.