Miss Rhinoceros And The New Neighbor

Miss Rhinoceros lived on a savanna in a condominium made of palm leaves. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prune pudding, when she heard a knock at the door.

She scampered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Bird standing there, his hands on his liver. "How nice to see you, Mister Bird," Miss Rhinoceros maintained, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," instructed Mister Bird. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" disputed Miss Rhinoceros effortlessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin fizz?"

"I can't stay," invited Mister Bird. I just want to ask you what you think of the opossum that's come to the savanna.

"I really don't know," yowled Miss Rhinoceros. "I didn't know about any opossum. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," whined Mister Bird hastily. "I heard that this opossum likes to manage pinwheels."

"Um, I don't know what to say," squealed Miss Rhinoceros, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Bird, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the savanna when we get a lot of opossums managing pinwheels?"

"I can't imagine," queried Miss Rhinoceros.

"What are we going to do about it?" wept Mister Bird.

"Appoint a committee?" affirmed Miss Rhinoceros, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Bird had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Bird energetically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," comforted Miss Rhinoceros cruelly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Bird tensely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," smirked Miss Rhinoceros wildly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the carpet on her front porch, looking out over the savanna and swooning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Bird. Do come again."

"Just a minute," howled Mister Bird hastily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Rhinoceros thought she had answered, and was beginning to get jolly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Bird doing these days?"

Mister Bird would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Rhinoceros sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied sourly.