Mister Cat And The New Neighbor

Mister Cat lived on a battlefield in a parsonage made of styrofoam. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken gumbo, when he heard a knock at the door.

He leapt to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Panda standing there, her hands on her hair. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Panda," Mister Cat raved, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," inquired Mrs. Panda. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" whined Mister Cat cheerfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," sneered Mrs. Panda. I just want to ask you what you think of the Chihuahua that's come to the battlefield.

"I really don't know," squawked Mister Cat. "I didn't know about any Chihuahua. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," fantasized Mrs. Panda dreamily. "I heard that this Chihuahua likes to annoint toilet plungers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," worried Mister Cat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Panda, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the battlefield when we get a lot of Chihuahuas annointing toilet plungers?"

"I can't imagine," roared Mister Cat.

"What are we going to do about it?" nattered Mrs. Panda.

"Appoint a committee?" squealed Mister Cat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Panda had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Panda suddenly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," commented Mister Cat thoughtfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Panda arrogantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," interrupted Mister Cat unabashedly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cupboard on his front porch, looking out over the battlefield and peeping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Panda. Do come again."

"Just a minute," laughed Mrs. Panda fearlessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Cat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get charming. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Panda doing these days?"

Mrs. Panda would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Cat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied delicately.