Miss Polecat And The New Neighbor

Miss Polecat lived on a mountaintop in a ranch house made of cinder block. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover oatmeal, when she heard a knock at the door.

She whirled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Louse standing there, his hands on his eyelash. "How nice to see you, Mister Louse," Miss Polecat trumpeted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," uttered Mister Louse. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" exploded Miss Polecat suavely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mai Tai?"

"I can't stay," decided Mister Louse. I just want to ask you what you think of the dromedary that's come to the mountaintop.

"I really don't know," divulged Miss Polecat. "I didn't know about any dromedary. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," informed Mister Louse nervously. "I heard that this dromedary likes to deliver ingots of plutonium."

"Um, I don't know what to say," ranted Miss Polecat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Louse, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountaintop when we get a lot of dromedaries delivering ingots of plutonium?"

"I can't imagine," declared Miss Polecat.

"What are we going to do about it?" griped Mister Louse.

"Appoint a committee?" blurted Miss Polecat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Louse had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Louse slowly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," quoted Miss Polecat menacingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Louse slowly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," peeped Miss Polecat ferociously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the hope chest on her front porch, looking out over the mountaintop and getting frazzled. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Louse. Do come again."

"Just a minute," breathed Mister Louse greedily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Polecat thought she had answered, and was beginning to get somber. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Louse doing these days?"

Mister Louse would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Polecat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied charmingly.