Miss Guinea Pig And The New Neighbor

Miss Guinea pig lived in a briar patch in a stinky shack made of gingerbread. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chopped liver, when she heard a knock at the door.

She jogged to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Dodo bird standing there, her hands on her pituitary gland. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Dodo bird," Miss Guinea pig shouted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," complained Mrs. Dodo bird. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" nattered Miss Guinea pig nervously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a bottle of rum?"

"I can't stay," concluded Mrs. Dodo bird. I just want to ask you what you think of the giraffe that's come to the briar patch.

"I really don't know," fantasized Miss Guinea pig. "I didn't know about any giraffe. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sobbed Mrs. Dodo bird immediately. "I heard that this giraffe likes to destroy pieces of paper."

"Um, I don't know what to say," jeered Miss Guinea pig, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Dodo bird, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the briar patch when we get a lot of giraffes destroying pieces of paper?"

"I can't imagine," moaned Miss Guinea pig.

"What are we going to do about it?" boasted Mrs. Dodo bird.

"Appoint a committee?" brought up Miss Guinea pig, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Dodo bird had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Dodo bird suavely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," answered Miss Guinea pig fearfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Dodo bird busily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," smirked Miss Guinea pig perkily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the china hutch on her front porch, looking out over the briar patch and clearing out. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Dodo bird. Do come again."

"Just a minute," begged Mrs. Dodo bird bitterly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Guinea pig thought she had answered, and was beginning to get pigeon-toed. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Dodo bird doing these days?"

Mrs. Dodo bird would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Guinea pig sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied steadily.