Miss Buzzard And The New Neighbor

Miss Buzzard lived on a range in a loft made of pine logs. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover enchiladas, when she heard a knock at the door.

She strode to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Yeti standing there, her hands on her dignity. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Yeti," Miss Buzzard questioned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," instructed Mrs. Yeti. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" blubbered Miss Buzzard needlessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of Kool-Aid?"

"I can't stay," bellowed Mrs. Yeti. I just want to ask you what you think of the hermit crab that's come to the range.

"I really don't know," analyzed Miss Buzzard. "I didn't know about any hermit crab. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," pronounced Mrs. Yeti temperamentally. "I heard that this hermit crab likes to inspect spiders."

"Um, I don't know what to say," trumpeted Miss Buzzard, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Yeti, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the range when we get a lot of hermit crabs inspecting spiders?"

"I can't imagine," said Miss Buzzard.

"What are we going to do about it?" mentioned Mrs. Yeti.

"Appoint a committee?" brought up Miss Buzzard, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Yeti had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Yeti jokingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sighed Miss Buzzard strangely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Yeti excitedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," stammered Miss Buzzard immediately, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the pillow on her front porch, looking out over the range and winking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Yeti. Do come again."

"Just a minute," mused Mrs. Yeti innocently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Buzzard thought she had answered, and was beginning to get annoying. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Yeti doing these days?"

Mrs. Yeti would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Buzzard sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied crankily.