Mister Spider And The New Neighbor

Mister Spider lived in a cesspool in a houseboat made of feathers. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover clam chowder, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slithered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Lamb standing there, his hands on his pride. "How nice to see you, Mister Lamb," Mister Spider added, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yammered Mister Lamb. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" reacted Mister Spider strictly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Manhattan?"

"I can't stay," murmured Mister Lamb. I just want to ask you what you think of the puppy that's come to the cesspool.

"I really don't know," exclaimed Mister Spider. "I didn't know about any puppy. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," queried Mister Lamb daringly. "I heard that this puppy likes to stab Bunsen burners."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sniped Mister Spider, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Lamb, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cesspool when we get a lot of puppies stabbing Bunsen burners?"

"I can't imagine," declaimed Mister Spider.

"What are we going to do about it?" expressed Mister Lamb.

"Appoint a committee?" divulged Mister Spider, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Lamb had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Lamb trustingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," vouched Mister Spider caustically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Lamb fervently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," agreed Mister Spider thoughtfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the nightstand on his front porch, looking out over the cesspool and gesticulating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Lamb. Do come again."

"Just a minute," contended Mister Lamb fervently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Spider thought he had answered, and was beginning to get wily. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Lamb doing these days?"

Mister Lamb would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Spider sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied nimbly.