Miss Guinea Pig And The New Neighbor

Miss Guinea pig lived on a wasteland in a flat made of diamonds. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cabbage, when she heard a knock at the door.

She tiptoed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Horsie standing there, her hands on her spleen. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Horsie," Miss Guinea pig explained, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," spouted Mrs. Horsie. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" purred Miss Guinea pig glumly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a piña colada?"

"I can't stay," remarked Mrs. Horsie. I just want to ask you what you think of the yeti that's come to the wasteland.

"I really don't know," bawled Miss Guinea pig. "I didn't know about any yeti. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yelled Mrs. Horsie menacingly. "I heard that this yeti likes to admire buttons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," squeaked Miss Guinea pig, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Horsie, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the wasteland when we get a lot of yetis admiring buttons?"

"I can't imagine," drawled Miss Guinea pig.

"What are we going to do about it?" fretted Mrs. Horsie.

"Appoint a committee?" fumed Miss Guinea pig, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Horsie had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Horsie greedily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," intimated Miss Guinea pig impatiently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Horsie uselessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," quoted Miss Guinea pig urgently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the china hutch on her front porch, looking out over the wasteland and sneezing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Horsie. Do come again."

"Just a minute," ranted Mrs. Horsie strangely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Guinea pig thought she had answered, and was beginning to get agitated. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Horsie doing these days?"

Mrs. Horsie would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Guinea pig sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied swiftly.