Mister Coyote And The New Neighbor

Mister Coyote lived at an oasis in a yurt made of plasma. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover duck a l'orange, when he heard a knock at the door.

He lurched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Goat standing there, his hands on his adrenal gland. "How nice to see you, Mister Goat," Mister Coyote intimated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," exclaimed Mister Goat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" urged Mister Coyote again, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Pepto Bismol?"

"I can't stay," stated Mister Goat. I just want to ask you what you think of the tsetse fly that's come to the oasis.

"I really don't know," responded Mister Coyote. "I didn't know about any tsetse fly. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," mused Mister Goat threateningly. "I heard that this tsetse fly likes to rock pencil sharpeners."

"Um, I don't know what to say," responded Mister Coyote, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Goat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the oasis when we get a lot of tsetse flies rocking pencil sharpeners?"

"I can't imagine," blathered Mister Coyote.

"What are we going to do about it?" moaned Mister Goat.

"Appoint a committee?" exploded Mister Coyote, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Goat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Goat hungrily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," yammered Mister Coyote grudgingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Goat vigorously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," whined Mister Coyote cheerfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the water bed on his front porch, looking out over the oasis and shriveling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Goat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," shouted Mister Goat intensely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Coyote thought he had answered, and was beginning to get hairy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Goat doing these days?"

Mister Goat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Coyote sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied fondly.