Mister Panda And The New Neighbor

Mister Panda lived in a marsh in a homeless shelter made of adobe. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hash, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sailed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Troll standing there, her hands on her ear. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Troll," Mister Panda growled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yammered Mrs. Troll. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" orated Mister Panda blindly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a rum and Coke?"

"I can't stay," inquired Mrs. Troll. I just want to ask you what you think of the rat that's come to the marsh.

"I really don't know," raved Mister Panda. "I didn't know about any rat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," drawled Mrs. Troll doubtfully. "I heard that this rat likes to duplicate flyswatters."

"Um, I don't know what to say," explained Mister Panda, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Troll, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the marsh when we get a lot of rats duplicating flyswatters?"

"I can't imagine," peeped Mister Panda.

"What are we going to do about it?" recited Mrs. Troll.

"Appoint a committee?" yelped Mister Panda, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Troll had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Troll immediately. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," howled Mister Panda peevishly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Troll viciously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," chortled Mister Panda suddenly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the futon on his front porch, looking out over the marsh and suffering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Troll. Do come again."

"Just a minute," whispered Mrs. Troll neatly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Panda thought he had answered, and was beginning to get evil. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Troll doing these days?"

Mrs. Troll would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Panda sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied stupidly.