Mister Grasshopper And The New Neighbor

Mister Grasshopper lived in a countryside in a teepee made of leather. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fried okra, when he heard a knock at the door.

He hobbled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Rabbit standing there, her hands on her chest. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Rabbit," Mister Grasshopper whimpered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," peeped Mrs. Rabbit. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" sneered Mister Grasshopper steadily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a can of Ensure?"

"I can't stay," responded Mrs. Rabbit. I just want to ask you what you think of the bird that's come to the countryside.

"I really don't know," murmured Mister Grasshopper. "I didn't know about any bird. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," hissed Mrs. Rabbit timidly. "I heard that this bird likes to feel teacups."

"Um, I don't know what to say," lamented Mister Grasshopper, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Rabbit, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the countryside when we get a lot of birds feeling teacups?"

"I can't imagine," judged Mister Grasshopper.

"What are we going to do about it?" observed Mrs. Rabbit.

"Appoint a committee?" muttered Mister Grasshopper, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Rabbit had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Rabbit dolefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," instructed Mister Grasshopper peevishly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Rabbit tensely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," disputed Mister Grasshopper dubiously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the chair on his front porch, looking out over the countryside and looking smart. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Rabbit. Do come again."

"Just a minute," yowled Mrs. Rabbit sharply. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Grasshopper thought he had answered, and was beginning to get megalomaniacal. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Rabbit doing these days?"

Mrs. Rabbit would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Grasshopper sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied furiously.