Miss Buzzard And The New Neighbor

Miss Buzzard lived on a savanna in a houseboat made of pipe. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover popcorn, when she heard a knock at the door.

She rolled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Mink standing there, his hands on his eyebrow. "How nice to see you, Mister Mink," Miss Buzzard fantasized, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," shrieked Mister Mink. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" realized Miss Buzzard nimbly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Scotch and soda?"

"I can't stay," judged Mister Mink. I just want to ask you what you think of the rhinoceros that's come to the savanna.

"I really don't know," squealed Miss Buzzard. "I didn't know about any rhinoceros. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," recited Mister Mink offhandedly. "I heard that this rhinoceros likes to control pianos."

"Um, I don't know what to say," offered Miss Buzzard, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Mink, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the savanna when we get a lot of rhinoceroses controlling pianos?"

"I can't imagine," tittered Miss Buzzard.

"What are we going to do about it?" bellowed Mister Mink.

"Appoint a committee?" panted Miss Buzzard, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Mink had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Mink solemnly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," guessed Miss Buzzard happily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Mink shyly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sighed Miss Buzzard openly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the washing machine on her front porch, looking out over the savanna and wiggling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Mink. Do come again."

"Just a minute," questioned Mister Mink glumly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Buzzard thought she had answered, and was beginning to get disgusting. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Mink doing these days?"

Mister Mink would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Buzzard sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied effortlessly.