Miss Porcupine And The New Neighbor

Miss Porcupine lived on a mesa in a ranch house made of ivory. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ham, when she heard a knock at the door.

She tore to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Canary standing there, her hands on her funny bone. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Canary," Miss Porcupine grunted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," mentioned Mrs. Canary. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" trumpeted Miss Porcupine quietly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Scotch and soda?"

"I can't stay," lamented Mrs. Canary. I just want to ask you what you think of the salamander that's come to the mesa.

"I really don't know," belched Miss Porcupine. "I didn't know about any salamander. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," professed Mrs. Canary needlessly. "I heard that this salamander likes to crack chamber pots."

"Um, I don't know what to say," reminded Miss Porcupine, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Canary, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mesa when we get a lot of salamanders cracking chamber pots?"

"I can't imagine," railed Miss Porcupine.

"What are we going to do about it?" pronounced Mrs. Canary.

"Appoint a committee?" queried Miss Porcupine, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Canary had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Canary valiantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," responded Miss Porcupine daringly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Canary primly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," wailed Miss Porcupine warily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the end table on her front porch, looking out over the mesa and doing nothing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Canary. Do come again."

"Just a minute," imitated Mrs. Canary resignedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Porcupine thought she had answered, and was beginning to get careful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Canary doing these days?"

Mrs. Canary would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Porcupine sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied tenderly.