Mister Colt And The New Neighbor

Mister Colt lived on a veld in a studio made of antimatter. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pretzels, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Raven standing there, his hands on his piehole. "How nice to see you, Mister Raven," Mister Colt bellowed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," chanted Mister Raven. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mouthed Mister Colt temperamentally, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Pepto Bismol?"

"I can't stay," vouched Mister Raven. I just want to ask you what you think of the gazelle that's come to the veld.

"I really don't know," proposed Mister Colt. "I didn't know about any gazelle. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," suggested Mister Raven fearfully. "I heard that this gazelle likes to fabricate buckets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," implored Mister Colt, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Raven, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the veld when we get a lot of gazelles fabricating buckets?"

"I can't imagine," yawned Mister Colt.

"What are we going to do about it?" spoke up Mister Raven.

"Appoint a committee?" articulated Mister Colt, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Raven had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Raven caustically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," boasted Mister Colt confidently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Raven automatically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," demanded Mister Colt strictly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the wine rack on his front porch, looking out over the veld and twitching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Raven. Do come again."

"Just a minute," retorted Mister Raven temperamentally. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Colt thought he had answered, and was beginning to get heavyset. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Raven doing these days?"

Mister Raven would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Colt sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied truculently.