Miss Pheasant And The New Neighbor

Miss Pheasant lived in a meadow in a motor home made of old rags. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pecan pie, when she heard a knock at the door.

She blundered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Garter snake standing there, his hands on his cheek. "How nice to see you, Mister Garter snake," Miss Pheasant groveled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," squealed Mister Garter snake. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" whimpered Miss Pheasant sorrowfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Alka-Seltzer?"

"I can't stay," lamented Mister Garter snake. I just want to ask you what you think of the warthog that's come to the meadow.

"I really don't know," fumed Miss Pheasant. "I didn't know about any warthog. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," cried Mister Garter snake kindly. "I heard that this warthog likes to ridicule brooms."

"Um, I don't know what to say," demanded Miss Pheasant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Garter snake, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the meadow when we get a lot of warthogs ridiculing brooms?"

"I can't imagine," persisted Miss Pheasant.

"What are we going to do about it?" sniped Mister Garter snake.

"Appoint a committee?" cajoled Miss Pheasant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Garter snake had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Garter snake madly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," preached Miss Pheasant sweetly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Garter snake valiantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," smirked Miss Pheasant awkwardly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the fainting couch on her front porch, looking out over the meadow and smiling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Garter snake. Do come again."

"Just a minute," yowled Mister Garter snake craftily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Pheasant thought she had answered, and was beginning to get energetic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Garter snake doing these days?"

Mister Garter snake would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Pheasant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied unnaturally.