Miss Boa Constrictor And The New Neighbor

Miss Boa constrictor lived in an arroyo in a nunnery made of bark. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover succotash, when she heard a knock at the door.

She clambered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Doggie standing there, her hands on her brain. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Doggie," Miss Boa constrictor muttered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," raved Mrs. Doggie. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" reasoned Miss Boa constrictor sarcastically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Alka-Seltzer?"

"I can't stay," complained Mrs. Doggie. I just want to ask you what you think of the partridge that's come to the arroyo.

"I really don't know," screamed Miss Boa constrictor. "I didn't know about any partridge. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," fumed Mrs. Doggie woodenly. "I heard that this partridge likes to taste plaques."

"Um, I don't know what to say," interrupted Miss Boa constrictor, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Doggie, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the arroyo when we get a lot of partridges tasting plaques?"

"I can't imagine," lamented Miss Boa constrictor.

"What are we going to do about it?" clarified Mrs. Doggie.

"Appoint a committee?" lectured Miss Boa constrictor, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Doggie had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Doggie woefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," hollered Miss Boa constrictor dolefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Doggie intensely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," acknowledged Miss Boa constrictor delicately, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the couch on her front porch, looking out over the arroyo and adjusting the clock. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Doggie. Do come again."

"Just a minute," stated Mrs. Doggie courteously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Boa constrictor thought she had answered, and was beginning to get perky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Doggie doing these days?"

Mrs. Doggie would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Boa constrictor sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied coolly.