Miss Norway Rat And The New Neighbor

Miss Norway rat lived on a butte in a KOA Kampground made of Formica. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ice cream, when she heard a knock at the door.

She walked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Turkey standing there, his hands on his brain. "How nice to see you, Mister Turkey," Miss Norway rat railed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," howled Mister Turkey. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" chortled Miss Norway rat strictly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of bouillon?"

"I can't stay," squawked Mister Turkey. I just want to ask you what you think of the crocodile that's come to the butte.

"I really don't know," repeated Miss Norway rat. "I didn't know about any crocodile. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," rationalized Mister Turkey wryly. "I heard that this crocodile likes to grip flyswatters."

"Um, I don't know what to say," breathed Miss Norway rat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Turkey, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the butte when we get a lot of crocodiles gripping flyswatters?"

"I can't imagine," concluded Miss Norway rat.

"What are we going to do about it?" alleged Mister Turkey.

"Appoint a committee?" muttered Miss Norway rat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Turkey had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Turkey deliberately. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," swore Miss Norway rat again, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Turkey fearlessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," laughed Miss Norway rat dreamily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the umbrella stand on her front porch, looking out over the butte and vomiting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Turkey. Do come again."

"Just a minute," declaimed Mister Turkey later. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Norway rat thought she had answered, and was beginning to get cowardly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Turkey doing these days?"

Mister Turkey would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Norway rat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied proudly.