Mister Crab And The New Neighbor

Mister Crab lived beside a creek in a log cabin made of stucco. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lasagna, when he heard a knock at the door.

He stalked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Orangutan standing there, her hands on her rib. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Orangutan," Mister Crab stuttered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," boasted Mrs. Orangutan. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" orated Mister Crab lazily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of Kool-Aid?"

"I can't stay," noted Mrs. Orangutan. I just want to ask you what you think of the parakeet that's come to the creek.

"I really don't know," declaimed Mister Crab. "I didn't know about any parakeet. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," demanded Mrs. Orangutan oddly. "I heard that this parakeet likes to load Van Goghs."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sniveled Mister Crab, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Orangutan, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the creek when we get a lot of parakeets loading Van Goghs?"

"I can't imagine," mumbled Mister Crab.

"What are we going to do about it?" peeped Mrs. Orangutan.

"Appoint a committee?" howled Mister Crab, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Orangutan had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Orangutan menacingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," began Mister Crab needlessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Orangutan hungrily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," imitated Mister Crab uneasily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the pedestal on his front porch, looking out over the creek and bawling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Orangutan. Do come again."

"Just a minute," giggled Mrs. Orangutan angrily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Crab thought he had answered, and was beginning to get fearless. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Orangutan doing these days?"

Mrs. Orangutan would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Crab sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied fearlessly.