Miss Polecat And The New Neighbor

Miss Polecat lived at a crime scene in a resort made of fiber. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover refried beans, when she heard a knock at the door.

She tramped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Hedgehog standing there, his hands on his toenail. "How nice to see you, Mister Hedgehog," Miss Polecat scoffed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," rebutted Mister Hedgehog. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" screamed Miss Polecat shakily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a daiquiri?"

"I can't stay," spewed Mister Hedgehog. I just want to ask you what you think of the fox that's come to the crime scene.

"I really don't know," maintained Miss Polecat. "I didn't know about any fox. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," stated Mister Hedgehog lightly. "I heard that this fox likes to pummel diagrams."

"Um, I don't know what to say," cackled Miss Polecat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Hedgehog, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the crime scene when we get a lot of foxes pummeling diagrams?"

"I can't imagine," emphasized Miss Polecat.

"What are we going to do about it?" reminded Mister Hedgehog.

"Appoint a committee?" snorted Miss Polecat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Hedgehog had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Hedgehog courageously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," argued Miss Polecat needlessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Hedgehog frantically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," groaned Miss Polecat warily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the beanbag chair on her front porch, looking out over the crime scene and taking a bath. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Hedgehog. Do come again."

"Just a minute," contended Mister Hedgehog gleefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Polecat thought she had answered, and was beginning to get loving. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Hedgehog doing these days?"

Mister Hedgehog would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Polecat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied gingerly.