Mister Android And The New Neighbor

Mister Android lived on a tundra in a church made of corncobs. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chopped liver, when he heard a knock at the door.

He went to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Shrew standing there, his hands on his palm. "How nice to see you, Mister Shrew," Mister Android murmured, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," clarified Mister Shrew. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" vouched Mister Android admiringly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Dr. Pepper?"

"I can't stay," mouthed Mister Shrew. I just want to ask you what you think of the gorilla that's come to the tundra.

"I really don't know," piped up Mister Android. "I didn't know about any gorilla. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," rationalized Mister Shrew sarcastically. "I heard that this gorilla likes to lengthen wrenches."

"Um, I don't know what to say," interrupted Mister Android, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Shrew, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the tundra when we get a lot of gorillas lengthening wrenches?"

"I can't imagine," stammered Mister Android.

"What are we going to do about it?" guessed Mister Shrew.

"Appoint a committee?" mouthed Mister Android, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Shrew had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Shrew frantically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," urged Mister Android wildly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Shrew speedily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," moaned Mister Android urgently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bunk bed on his front porch, looking out over the tundra and screeching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Shrew. Do come again."

"Just a minute," shuddered Mister Shrew pityingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Android thought he had answered, and was beginning to get pigeon-toed. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Shrew doing these days?"

Mister Shrew would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Android sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied cleverly.