Miss Grizzly Bear And The New Neighbor

Miss Grizzly bear lived in a neighborhood in a Victorian mansion made of polyester. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover beef bouillon, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sidled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Mongoose standing there, her hands on her Achilles tendon. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Mongoose," Miss Grizzly bear groaned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," whined Mrs. Mongoose. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" demanded Miss Grizzly bear hopefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a tonic?"

"I can't stay," stormed Mrs. Mongoose. I just want to ask you what you think of the jaguar that's come to the neighborhood.

"I really don't know," exclaimed Miss Grizzly bear. "I didn't know about any jaguar. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," wept Mrs. Mongoose suavely. "I heard that this jaguar likes to abuse pianos."

"Um, I don't know what to say," alleged Miss Grizzly bear, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Mongoose, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the neighborhood when we get a lot of jaguars abusing pianos?"

"I can't imagine," joked Miss Grizzly bear.

"What are we going to do about it?" comforted Mrs. Mongoose.

"Appoint a committee?" interrupted Miss Grizzly bear, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Mongoose had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Mongoose tenderly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," hissed Miss Grizzly bear vigorously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Mongoose crankily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," breathed Miss Grizzly bear narrowly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the computer on her front porch, looking out over the neighborhood and spitting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Mongoose. Do come again."

"Just a minute," moaned Mrs. Mongoose blissfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Grizzly bear thought she had answered, and was beginning to get noxious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Mongoose doing these days?"

Mrs. Mongoose would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Grizzly bear sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied innocently.