Miss Crab And The New Neighbor

Miss Crab lived in a hayfield in a motor home made of flax. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover enchiladas, when she heard a knock at the door.

She inched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Cow standing there, her hands on her skin. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Cow," Miss Crab winked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," rationalized Mrs. Cow. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" drawled Miss Crab gingerly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of champagne?"

"I can't stay," joked Mrs. Cow. I just want to ask you what you think of the tiger that's come to the hayfield.

"I really don't know," shrieked Miss Crab. "I didn't know about any tiger. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yelled Mrs. Cow wryly. "I heard that this tiger likes to break hacksaws."

"Um, I don't know what to say," judged Miss Crab, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Cow, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hayfield when we get a lot of tigers breaking hacksaws?"

"I can't imagine," spat Miss Crab.

"What are we going to do about it?" prattled Mrs. Cow.

"Appoint a committee?" chimed Miss Crab, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Cow had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Cow oddly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," invited Miss Crab deftly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Cow bravely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," comforted Miss Crab victoriously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the water bed on her front porch, looking out over the hayfield and dealing cards. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Cow. Do come again."

"Just a minute," stammered Mrs. Cow testily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Crab thought she had answered, and was beginning to get charming. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Cow doing these days?"

Mrs. Cow would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Crab sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied quietly.