Mister Jackal And The New Neighbor

Mister Jackal lived at a crime scene in a mansion made of candy. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover biscuits and gravy, when he heard a knock at the door.

He marched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Baboon standing there, his hands on his eyebrow. "How nice to see you, Mister Baboon," Mister Jackal shouted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," instructed Mister Baboon. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" protested Mister Jackal fondly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a secret potion?"

"I can't stay," quoted Mister Baboon. I just want to ask you what you think of the teddy bear that's come to the crime scene.

"I really don't know," whispered Mister Jackal. "I didn't know about any teddy bear. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," provoked Mister Baboon gratefully. "I heard that this teddy bear likes to roast pairs of headphones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," opined Mister Jackal, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Baboon, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the crime scene when we get a lot of teddy bears roasting pairs of headphones?"

"I can't imagine," exploded Mister Jackal.

"What are we going to do about it?" sobbed Mister Baboon.

"Appoint a committee?" ranted Mister Jackal, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Baboon had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Baboon peevishly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," rationalized Mister Jackal mysteriously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Baboon woefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," argued Mister Jackal craftily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the floor on his front porch, looking out over the crime scene and ruminating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Baboon. Do come again."

"Just a minute," intoned Mister Baboon uselessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Jackal thought he had answered, and was beginning to get refined. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Baboon doing these days?"

Mister Baboon would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Jackal sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied hopefully.