Mister Manatee And The New Neighbor

Mister Manatee lived in a cesspool in an office made of cement. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fondue, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sailed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Leopard standing there, his hands on his pancreas. "How nice to see you, Mister Leopard," Mister Manatee jeered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," declaimed Mister Leopard. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" fumed Mister Manatee busily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a double latte?"

"I can't stay," yowled Mister Leopard. I just want to ask you what you think of the anaconda that's come to the cesspool.

"I really don't know," blustered Mister Manatee. "I didn't know about any anaconda. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," began Mister Leopard doubtfully. "I heard that this anaconda likes to hack Egyptian mummies."

"Um, I don't know what to say," concluded Mister Manatee, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Leopard, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cesspool when we get a lot of anacondas hacking Egyptian mummies?"

"I can't imagine," inquired Mister Manatee.

"What are we going to do about it?" repeated Mister Leopard.

"Appoint a committee?" yowled Mister Manatee, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Leopard had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Leopard primly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," trumpeted Mister Manatee numbly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Leopard suavely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," howled Mister Manatee blankly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cash register on his front porch, looking out over the cesspool and swallowing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Leopard. Do come again."

"Just a minute," breathed Mister Leopard flightily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Manatee thought he had answered, and was beginning to get diabolical. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Leopard doing these days?"

Mister Leopard would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Manatee sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied tensely.