Miss Monster And The New Neighbor

Miss Monster lived in a cornfield in a chalet made of tin. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ham, when she heard a knock at the door.

She breezed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Wallaby standing there, her hands on her foot. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Wallaby," Miss Monster wept, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," requested Mrs. Wallaby. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" blustered Miss Monster cheerfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a kamikaze?"

"I can't stay," brought up Mrs. Wallaby. I just want to ask you what you think of the oyster that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," howled Miss Monster. "I didn't know about any oyster. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," proposed Mrs. Wallaby sharply. "I heard that this oyster likes to hammer corncobs."

"Um, I don't know what to say," recited Miss Monster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Wallaby, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of oysters hammering corncobs?"

"I can't imagine," invited Miss Monster.

"What are we going to do about it?" snorted Mrs. Wallaby.

"Appoint a committee?" proposed Miss Monster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Wallaby had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Wallaby delicately. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," snorted Miss Monster testily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Wallaby gingerly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," drawled Miss Monster greedily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the hope chest on her front porch, looking out over the cornfield and weeping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Wallaby. Do come again."

"Just a minute," pleaded Mrs. Wallaby curiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Monster thought she had answered, and was beginning to get corpulent. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Wallaby doing these days?"

Mrs. Wallaby would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Monster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied fearlessly.