Mister Chihuahua And The New Neighbor

Mister Chihuahua lived at a dump in a brownstone made of roots. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover duck a l'orange, when he heard a knock at the door.

He waltzed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Norway rat standing there, his hands on his head. "How nice to see you, Mister Norway rat," Mister Chihuahua cried, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," brought up Mister Norway rat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" prattled Mister Chihuahua coldly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of milk?"

"I can't stay," fumed Mister Norway rat. I just want to ask you what you think of the ass that's come to the dump.

"I really don't know," rambled Mister Chihuahua. "I didn't know about any ass. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," boomed Mister Norway rat clumsily. "I heard that this ass likes to stitch brochures."

"Um, I don't know what to say," spewed Mister Chihuahua, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Norway rat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dump when we get a lot of asses stitching brochures?"

"I can't imagine," lamented Mister Chihuahua.

"What are we going to do about it?" belched Mister Norway rat.

"Appoint a committee?" worried Mister Chihuahua, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Norway rat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Norway rat boisterously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," reacted Mister Chihuahua grudgingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Norway rat testily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," winked Mister Chihuahua innocently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the coffee table on his front porch, looking out over the dump and fidgeting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Norway rat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," declared Mister Norway rat warily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Chihuahua thought he had answered, and was beginning to get lanky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Norway rat doing these days?"

Mister Norway rat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Chihuahua sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied cunningly.