Mister Salamander And The New Neighbor

Mister Salamander lived on a prairie in a farmhouse made of chewing gum. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover egg rolls, when he heard a knock at the door.

He skidded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Orangutan standing there, his hands on his antenna. "How nice to see you, Mister Orangutan," Mister Salamander retorted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," articulated Mister Orangutan. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" disputed Mister Salamander gently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of iced tea?"

"I can't stay," hollered Mister Orangutan. I just want to ask you what you think of the panther that's come to the prairie.

"I really don't know," smiled Mister Salamander. "I didn't know about any panther. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," jeered Mister Orangutan jokingly. "I heard that this panther likes to darken hats."

"Um, I don't know what to say," panted Mister Salamander, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Orangutan, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the prairie when we get a lot of panthers darkening hats?"

"I can't imagine," croaked Mister Salamander.

"What are we going to do about it?" chanted Mister Orangutan.

"Appoint a committee?" divulged Mister Salamander, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Orangutan had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Orangutan firmly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," grunted Mister Salamander nonchalantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Orangutan lovingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," lamented Mister Salamander defiantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the credenza on his front porch, looking out over the prairie and purring. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Orangutan. Do come again."

"Just a minute," peeped Mister Orangutan cunningly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Salamander thought he had answered, and was beginning to get silly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Orangutan doing these days?"

Mister Orangutan would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Salamander sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied arrogantly.