Mister Cockatiel And The New Neighbor

Mister Cockatiel lived in a grassland in a chalet made of manure. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover crab rangoon, when he heard a knock at the door.

He staggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Moose standing there, her hands on her heel. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Moose," Mister Cockatiel explained, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," fantasized Mrs. Moose. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" spouted Mister Cockatiel narrowly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a dose of cod liver oil?"

"I can't stay," protested Mrs. Moose. I just want to ask you what you think of the cow that's come to the grassland.

"I really don't know," declaimed Mister Cockatiel. "I didn't know about any cow. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sputtered Mrs. Moose briskly. "I heard that this cow likes to watch paintings."

"Um, I don't know what to say," contended Mister Cockatiel, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Moose, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassland when we get a lot of cows watching paintings?"

"I can't imagine," bawled Mister Cockatiel.

"What are we going to do about it?" piped up Mrs. Moose.

"Appoint a committee?" explained Mister Cockatiel, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Moose had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Moose carefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," asserted Mister Cockatiel sadly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Moose grandly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," purred Mister Cockatiel blankly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the hatstand on his front porch, looking out over the grassland and barfing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Moose. Do come again."

"Just a minute," bawled Mrs. Moose lazily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Cockatiel thought he had answered, and was beginning to get enraged. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Moose doing these days?"

Mrs. Moose would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Cockatiel sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied grandly.