Miss Swan And The New Neighbor

Miss Swan lived alongside a stream in a Victorian mansion made of adobe. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ice cream, when she heard a knock at the door.

She skittered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Warthog standing there, her hands on her calf. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Warthog," Miss Swan boasted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," orated Mrs. Warthog. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" stuttered Miss Swan positively, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of Sanka?"

"I can't stay," clarified Mrs. Warthog. I just want to ask you what you think of the bunny that's come to the stream.

"I really don't know," hinted Miss Swan. "I didn't know about any bunny. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," gasped Mrs. Warthog slyly. "I heard that this bunny likes to fold floppy disks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," roared Miss Swan, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Warthog, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the stream when we get a lot of bunnies folding floppy disks?"

"I can't imagine," rebutted Miss Swan.

"What are we going to do about it?" cajoled Mrs. Warthog.

"Appoint a committee?" sobbed Miss Swan, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Warthog had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Warthog later. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," inquired Miss Swan nicely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Warthog suavely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," quavered Miss Swan fearfully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the toilet on her front porch, looking out over the stream and barfing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Warthog. Do come again."

"Just a minute," reminded Mrs. Warthog gratefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Swan thought she had answered, and was beginning to get direct. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Warthog doing these days?"

Mrs. Warthog would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Swan sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied gleefully.