Miss Turtle And The New Neighbor

Miss Turtle lived in a swamp in a wigwam made of slate. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover sushi, when she heard a knock at the door.

She waltzed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Bat standing there, her hands on her stomach. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Bat," Miss Turtle complained, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," contended Mrs. Bat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" wept Miss Turtle dreamily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of tequila?"

"I can't stay," blurted Mrs. Bat. I just want to ask you what you think of the mongoose that's come to the swamp.

"I really don't know," howled Miss Turtle. "I didn't know about any mongoose. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," cajoled Mrs. Bat courageously. "I heard that this mongoose likes to unlock spiders."

"Um, I don't know what to say," chortled Miss Turtle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Bat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the swamp when we get a lot of mongeese unlocking spiders?"

"I can't imagine," fretted Miss Turtle.

"What are we going to do about it?" affirmed Mrs. Bat.

"Appoint a committee?" snorted Miss Turtle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Bat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Bat primly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," interrupted Miss Turtle blankly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Bat furiously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," agreed Miss Turtle solemnly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the overstuffed chair on her front porch, looking out over the swamp and playing Duck Duck Goose. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Bat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," orated Mrs. Bat cruelly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Turtle thought she had answered, and was beginning to get cantankerous. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Bat doing these days?"

Mrs. Bat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Turtle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied nimbly.