Mister Badger And The New Neighbor

Mister Badger lived in a cornfield in a KOA Kampground made of brass. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Hamburger Helper, when he heard a knock at the door.

He careened to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Flea standing there, her hands on her hip. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Flea," Mister Badger announced, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," professed Mrs. Flea. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" panted Mister Badger cautiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of iced tea?"

"I can't stay," whined Mrs. Flea. I just want to ask you what you think of the phantom that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," chattered Mister Badger. "I didn't know about any phantom. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," belched Mrs. Flea sourly. "I heard that this phantom likes to touch iPods."

"Um, I don't know what to say," gabbed Mister Badger, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Flea, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of phantoms touching iPods?"

"I can't imagine," sobbed Mister Badger.

"What are we going to do about it?" griped Mrs. Flea.

"Appoint a committee?" gabbed Mister Badger, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Flea had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Flea noisily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," informed Mister Badger happily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Flea madly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," decided Mister Badger glibly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the counter on his front porch, looking out over the cornfield and wincing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Flea. Do come again."

"Just a minute," fumed Mrs. Flea humbly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Badger thought he had answered, and was beginning to get princely. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Flea doing these days?"

Mrs. Flea would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Badger sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied numbly.