Mister Crab And The New Neighbor

Mister Crab lived on an island in a nunnery made of straw bales. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ravioli, when he heard a knock at the door.

He breezed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Hog standing there, his hands on his waist. "How nice to see you, Mister Hog," Mister Crab boasted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," disputed Mister Hog. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" smirked Mister Crab reluctantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Sangría?"

"I can't stay," hummed Mister Hog. I just want to ask you what you think of the panther that's come to the island.

"I really don't know," harangued Mister Crab. "I didn't know about any panther. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," hissed Mister Hog positively. "I heard that this panther likes to scrub etchings."

"Um, I don't know what to say," fretted Mister Crab, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Hog, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the island when we get a lot of panthers scrubbing etchings?"

"I can't imagine," stormed Mister Crab.

"What are we going to do about it?" provoked Mister Hog.

"Appoint a committee?" reacted Mister Crab, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Hog had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Hog reluctantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," imitated Mister Crab anxiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Hog viciously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yelped Mister Crab glibly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the wine rack on his front porch, looking out over the island and hanging around. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Hog. Do come again."

"Just a minute," repeated Mister Hog slyly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Crab thought he had answered, and was beginning to get lethargic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Hog doing these days?"

Mister Hog would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Crab sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied miserably.