Mister Whale And The New Neighbor

Mister Whale lived on a ridge in a townhouse made of fabric. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cinnamon toast, when he heard a knock at the door.

He leapt to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Anaconda standing there, his hands on his lung. "How nice to see you, Mister Anaconda," Mister Whale declaimed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," asked Mister Anaconda. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" interrupted Mister Whale nimbly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Tom Collins?"

"I can't stay," whimpered Mister Anaconda. I just want to ask you what you think of the monkey that's come to the ridge.

"I really don't know," realized Mister Whale. "I didn't know about any monkey. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," inquired Mister Anaconda sheepishly. "I heard that this monkey likes to whirl spiders."

"Um, I don't know what to say," chattered Mister Whale, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Anaconda, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the ridge when we get a lot of monkeys whirling spiders?"

"I can't imagine," yowled Mister Whale.

"What are we going to do about it?" swore Mister Anaconda.

"Appoint a committee?" judged Mister Whale, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Anaconda had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Anaconda impatiently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," urged Mister Whale obediently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Anaconda truculently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," rumored Mister Whale suddenly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the TV on his front porch, looking out over the ridge and fainting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Anaconda. Do come again."

"Just a minute," requested Mister Anaconda coldly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Whale thought he had answered, and was beginning to get bubbly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Anaconda doing these days?"

Mister Anaconda would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Whale sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied brightly.