Mister Tarantula And The New Neighbor

Mister Tarantula lived in a valley in a villa made of marble. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover tortillas, when he heard a knock at the door.

He rolled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Rabbit standing there, her hands on her adrenal gland. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Rabbit," Mister Tarantula fantasized, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," wondered Mrs. Rabbit. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" simpered Mister Tarantula slyly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of grape juice?"

"I can't stay," warbled Mrs. Rabbit. I just want to ask you what you think of the badger that's come to the valley.

"I really don't know," professed Mister Tarantula. "I didn't know about any badger. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," articulated Mrs. Rabbit slowly. "I heard that this badger likes to consider playing cards."

"Um, I don't know what to say," wept Mister Tarantula, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Rabbit, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the valley when we get a lot of badgers considering playing cards?"

"I can't imagine," retorted Mister Tarantula.

"What are we going to do about it?" blathered Mrs. Rabbit.

"Appoint a committee?" mentioned Mister Tarantula, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Rabbit had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Rabbit wryly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," retorted Mister Tarantula pitifully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Rabbit proudly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," pleaded Mister Tarantula irritably, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bath mat on his front porch, looking out over the valley and murmuring. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Rabbit. Do come again."

"Just a minute," chanted Mrs. Rabbit grudgingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Tarantula thought he had answered, and was beginning to get disgusting. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Rabbit doing these days?"

Mrs. Rabbit would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Tarantula sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied suddenly.