Mister Toad And The New Neighbor

Mister Toad lived in a jungle in a wigwam made of posts and beams. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cherries jubilee, when he heard a knock at the door.

He scampered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Bird standing there, her hands on her kidney. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Bird," Mister Toad gasped, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," hissed Mrs. Bird. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" judged Mister Toad again, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of Sanka?"

"I can't stay," brought up Mrs. Bird. I just want to ask you what you think of the hamster that's come to the jungle.

"I really don't know," yowled Mister Toad. "I didn't know about any hamster. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," professed Mrs. Bird briskly. "I heard that this hamster likes to propel file folders."

"Um, I don't know what to say," railed Mister Toad, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Bird, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the jungle when we get a lot of hamsters propelling file folders?"

"I can't imagine," yammered Mister Toad.

"What are we going to do about it?" vowed Mrs. Bird.

"Appoint a committee?" opined Mister Toad, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Bird had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Bird merrily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," chanted Mister Toad daintily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Bird resignedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," alleged Mister Toad sharply, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the card table on his front porch, looking out over the jungle and flailing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Bird. Do come again."

"Just a minute," whined Mrs. Bird wearily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Toad thought he had answered, and was beginning to get prissy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Bird doing these days?"

Mrs. Bird would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Toad sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied solemnly.