Mister Horsie And The New Neighbor

Mister Horsie lived on a plain in a boxcar made of plastic. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lobster bisque, when he heard a knock at the door.

He jumped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Elephant standing there, his hands on his nostril. "How nice to see you, Mister Elephant," Mister Horsie acknowledged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," growled Mister Elephant. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" gasped Mister Horsie irritably, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Brandy Alexander?"

"I can't stay," breathed Mister Elephant. I just want to ask you what you think of the buzzard that's come to the plain.

"I really don't know," implored Mister Horsie. "I didn't know about any buzzard. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," added Mister Elephant majestically. "I heard that this buzzard likes to uncover campaign signs."

"Um, I don't know what to say," uttered Mister Horsie, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Elephant, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plain when we get a lot of buzzards uncovering campaign signs?"

"I can't imagine," croaked Mister Horsie.

"What are we going to do about it?" insisted Mister Elephant.

"Appoint a committee?" sobbed Mister Horsie, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Elephant had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Elephant sympathetically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," rebutted Mister Horsie wryly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Elephant haughtily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," demanded Mister Horsie blindly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the casket on his front porch, looking out over the plain and carrying on. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Elephant. Do come again."

"Just a minute," revealed Mister Elephant glumly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Horsie thought he had answered, and was beginning to get disorganized. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Elephant doing these days?"

Mister Elephant would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Horsie sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied blankly.