Mister Magpie And The New Neighbor

Mister Magpie lived at a dump in a spa made of polystyrene. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ice cream, when he heard a knock at the door.

He dove to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Monkey standing there, his hands on his head. "How nice to see you, Mister Monkey," Mister Magpie hinted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," mentioned Mister Monkey. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" protested Mister Magpie arrogantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a beer?"

"I can't stay," quoted Mister Monkey. I just want to ask you what you think of the horsie that's come to the dump.

"I really don't know," cried Mister Magpie. "I didn't know about any horsie. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yelled Mister Monkey haughtily. "I heard that this horsie likes to play with sponges."

"Um, I don't know what to say," mouthed Mister Magpie, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Monkey, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dump when we get a lot of horsies playing with sponges?"

"I can't imagine," jeered Mister Magpie.

"What are we going to do about it?" orated Mister Monkey.

"Appoint a committee?" laughed Mister Magpie, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Monkey had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Monkey properly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," repeated Mister Magpie wearily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Monkey woefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," articulated Mister Magpie fearfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the stairway on his front porch, looking out over the dump and muttering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Monkey. Do come again."

"Just a minute," wept Mister Monkey intensely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Magpie thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sexy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Monkey doing these days?"

Mister Monkey would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Magpie sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied crossly.