Miss Caribou And The New Neighbor

Miss Caribou lived in a cornfield in a retreat made of polystyrene. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover applesauce, when she heard a knock at the door.

She tramped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Deer standing there, her hands on her tummy. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Deer," Miss Caribou implored, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," divulged Mrs. Deer. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mouthed Miss Caribou gently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Irish Coffee?"

"I can't stay," avowed Mrs. Deer. I just want to ask you what you think of the giraffe that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," squealed Miss Caribou. "I didn't know about any giraffe. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," simpered Mrs. Deer brashly. "I heard that this giraffe likes to prohibit cell phones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," stormed Miss Caribou, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Deer, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of giraffes prohibiting cell phones?"

"I can't imagine," pointed out Miss Caribou.

"What are we going to do about it?" persisted Mrs. Deer.

"Appoint a committee?" intoned Miss Caribou, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Deer had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Deer daintily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," disputed Miss Caribou steadily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Deer fearfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," smirked Miss Caribou greedily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bathtub on her front porch, looking out over the cornfield and bleeding. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Deer. Do come again."

"Just a minute," began Mrs. Deer merrily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Caribou thought she had answered, and was beginning to get shy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Deer doing these days?"

Mrs. Deer would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Caribou sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied valiantly.