Miss Duck-billed Platypus And The New Neighbor

Miss Duck-billed platypus lived at an oasis in a housing project made of felt. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast turkey, when she heard a knock at the door.

She jumped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Tsetse fly standing there, her hands on her toenail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Tsetse fly," Miss Duck-billed platypus comforted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," hummed Mrs. Tsetse fly. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" agreed Miss Duck-billed platypus happily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Seven and Seven?"

"I can't stay," comforted Mrs. Tsetse fly. I just want to ask you what you think of the hornet that's come to the oasis.

"I really don't know," explained Miss Duck-billed platypus. "I didn't know about any hornet. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," bawled Mrs. Tsetse fly busily. "I heard that this hornet likes to inflate toilet plungers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," instructed Miss Duck-billed platypus, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Tsetse fly, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the oasis when we get a lot of hornets inflating toilet plungers?"

"I can't imagine," queried Miss Duck-billed platypus.

"What are we going to do about it?" blubbered Mrs. Tsetse fly.

"Appoint a committee?" fumed Miss Duck-billed platypus, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Tsetse fly had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Tsetse fly glibly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," rumored Miss Duck-billed platypus cunningly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Tsetse fly demurely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," repeated Miss Duck-billed platypus joyously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the stool on her front porch, looking out over the oasis and grunting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Tsetse fly. Do come again."

"Just a minute," judged Mrs. Tsetse fly impatiently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Duck-billed platypus thought she had answered, and was beginning to get menacing. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Tsetse fly doing these days?"

Mrs. Tsetse fly would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Duck-billed platypus sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied courageously.