Miss Kitten And The New Neighbor

Miss Kitten lived in a dumpster in a stinky shack made of rope. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ice cream, when she heard a knock at the door.

She made a beeline to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Penguin standing there, his hands on his esophagus. "How nice to see you, Mister Penguin," Miss Kitten sobbed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," decided Mister Penguin. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" ranted Miss Kitten blankly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot buttered rum?"

"I can't stay," provoked Mister Penguin. I just want to ask you what you think of the kitten that's come to the dumpster.

"I really don't know," snorted Miss Kitten. "I didn't know about any kitten. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," remarked Mister Penguin vigorously. "I heard that this kitten likes to roast pinwheels."

"Um, I don't know what to say," squawked Miss Kitten, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Penguin, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dumpster when we get a lot of kittens roasting pinwheels?"

"I can't imagine," trumpeted Miss Kitten.

"What are we going to do about it?" opined Mister Penguin.

"Appoint a committee?" winked Miss Kitten, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Penguin had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Penguin excitedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," belched Miss Kitten nonchalantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Penguin sharply. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," scoffed Miss Kitten hastily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the beanbag chair on her front porch, looking out over the dumpster and itching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Penguin. Do come again."

"Just a minute," simpered Mister Penguin excitedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Kitten thought she had answered, and was beginning to get diabolical. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Penguin doing these days?"

Mister Penguin would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Kitten sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied cruelly.