Mister Ox And The New Neighbor

Mister Ox lived in a dumpster in a park bench made of Spanish moss. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover jambalaya, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tramped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Muskrat standing there, his hands on his spleen. "How nice to see you, Mister Muskrat," Mister Ox yawned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," persisted Mister Muskrat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" babbled Mister Ox joyously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a bottle of rum?"

"I can't stay," maintained Mister Muskrat. I just want to ask you what you think of the panther that's come to the dumpster.

"I really don't know," roared Mister Ox. "I didn't know about any panther. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," laughed Mister Muskrat pityingly. "I heard that this panther likes to paint crystal balls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," moaned Mister Ox, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Muskrat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dumpster when we get a lot of panthers painting crystal balls?"

"I can't imagine," urged Mister Ox.

"What are we going to do about it?" admitted Mister Muskrat.

"Appoint a committee?" decided Mister Ox, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Muskrat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Muskrat lazily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," yelled Mister Ox bitterly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Muskrat testily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," rationalized Mister Ox steadily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the washing machine on his front porch, looking out over the dumpster and dying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Muskrat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," cackled Mister Muskrat thankfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ox thought he had answered, and was beginning to get repulsive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Muskrat doing these days?"

Mister Muskrat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ox sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sarcastically.