Miss Gerbil And The New Neighbor

Miss Gerbil lived on a mesa in a skyscraper made of Kevlar. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover scrambled eggs, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sashayed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Pelican standing there, his hands on his tooth. "How nice to see you, Mister Pelican," Miss Gerbil inquired, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," divulged Mister Pelican. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" sniffed Miss Gerbil merrily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a whiskey sour?"

"I can't stay," amended Mister Pelican. I just want to ask you what you think of the bird that's come to the mesa.

"I really don't know," cackled Miss Gerbil. "I didn't know about any bird. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," quavered Mister Pelican madly. "I heard that this bird likes to taste salt shakers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," admitted Miss Gerbil, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Pelican, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mesa when we get a lot of birds tasting salt shakers?"

"I can't imagine," hummed Miss Gerbil.

"What are we going to do about it?" questioned Mister Pelican.

"Appoint a committee?" offered Miss Gerbil, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Pelican had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Pelican queerly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," indicated Miss Gerbil briskly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Pelican grimly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," chortled Miss Gerbil breathlessly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bookshelf on her front porch, looking out over the mesa and vomiting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Pelican. Do come again."

"Just a minute," intimated Mister Pelican violently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Gerbil thought she had answered, and was beginning to get fearful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Pelican doing these days?"

Mister Pelican would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Gerbil sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied ingeniously.