Mister Pheasant And The New Neighbor

Mister Pheasant lived in a badlands area in a castle made of corncobs. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cookies, when he heard a knock at the door.

He galumphed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Lizard standing there, her hands on her little finger. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Lizard," Mister Pheasant declaimed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," agreed Mrs. Lizard. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" invited Mister Pheasant urgently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin sour?"

"I can't stay," orated Mrs. Lizard. I just want to ask you what you think of the peacock that's come to the badlands area.

"I really don't know," smirked Mister Pheasant. "I didn't know about any peacock. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," offered Mrs. Lizard glibly. "I heard that this peacock likes to submerse pinwheels."

"Um, I don't know what to say," uttered Mister Pheasant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Lizard, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the badlands area when we get a lot of peacocks submersing pinwheels?"

"I can't imagine," orated Mister Pheasant.

"What are we going to do about it?" breathed Mrs. Lizard.

"Appoint a committee?" responded Mister Pheasant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Lizard had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Lizard madly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," blustered Mister Pheasant truculently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Lizard testily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yammered Mister Pheasant gratefully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the rug on his front porch, looking out over the badlands area and trembling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Lizard. Do come again."

"Just a minute," yowled Mrs. Lizard elatedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Pheasant thought he had answered, and was beginning to get thoughtful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Lizard doing these days?"

Mrs. Lizard would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Pheasant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied uselessly.