Miss Hermit Crab And The New Neighbor

Miss Hermit crab lived on a grassy knoll in a stinky shack made of sugar. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover oatmeal, when she heard a knock at the door.

She zipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Polar bear standing there, his hands on his back. "How nice to see you, Mister Polar bear," Miss Hermit crab rambled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," persisted Mister Polar bear. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" exclaimed Miss Hermit crab fiercely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Irish Coffee?"

"I can't stay," agreed Mister Polar bear. I just want to ask you what you think of the cheetah that's come to the grassy knoll.

"I really don't know," appealed Miss Hermit crab. "I didn't know about any cheetah. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," hummed Mister Polar bear happily. "I heard that this cheetah likes to wrap playing cards."

"Um, I don't know what to say," burbled Miss Hermit crab, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Polar bear, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassy knoll when we get a lot of cheetahs wrapping playing cards?"

"I can't imagine," asked Miss Hermit crab.

"What are we going to do about it?" continued Mister Polar bear.

"Appoint a committee?" squawked Miss Hermit crab, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Polar bear had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Polar bear fondly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," persisted Miss Hermit crab miserably, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Polar bear peevishly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," cajoled Miss Hermit crab thankfully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the stool on her front porch, looking out over the grassy knoll and curtseying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Polar bear. Do come again."

"Just a minute," asked Mister Polar bear suspiciously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Hermit crab thought she had answered, and was beginning to get obnoxious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Polar bear doing these days?"

Mister Polar bear would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Hermit crab sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied jokingly.