Mister Norway Rat And The New Neighbor

Mister Norway rat lived in an outback in a manor made of sod. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover enchiladas, when he heard a knock at the door.

He bolted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Gila monster standing there, her hands on her forehead. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Gila monster," Mister Norway rat grieved, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," uttered Mrs. Gila monster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" repeated Mister Norway rat thankfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of espresso?"

"I can't stay," mouthed Mrs. Gila monster. I just want to ask you what you think of the macaque that's come to the outback.

"I really don't know," gabbed Mister Norway rat. "I didn't know about any macaque. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," insisted Mrs. Gila monster madly. "I heard that this macaque likes to smash beach balls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," voiced Mister Norway rat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Gila monster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the outback when we get a lot of macaques smashing beach balls?"

"I can't imagine," yawned Mister Norway rat.

"What are we going to do about it?" screamed Mrs. Gila monster.

"Appoint a committee?" appealed Mister Norway rat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Gila monster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Gila monster strangely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sniveled Mister Norway rat calmly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Gila monster sagely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," warbled Mister Norway rat wryly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the file cabinet on his front porch, looking out over the outback and wailing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Gila monster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," nattered Mrs. Gila monster neatly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Norway rat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get lanky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Gila monster doing these days?"

Mrs. Gila monster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Norway rat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied rapidly.