Mister Falcon And The New Neighbor

Mister Falcon lived in a cesspool in a houseboat made of felt. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover scrambled eggs, when he heard a knock at the door.

He paraded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Polecat standing there, her hands on her spinal cord. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Polecat," Mister Falcon simpered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," admitted Mrs. Polecat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" boomed Mister Falcon miserably, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a grape soda?"

"I can't stay," prattled Mrs. Polecat. I just want to ask you what you think of the raven that's come to the cesspool.

"I really don't know," called Mister Falcon. "I didn't know about any raven. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," vowed Mrs. Polecat haughtily. "I heard that this raven likes to lose egg shells."

"Um, I don't know what to say," proposed Mister Falcon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Polecat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cesspool when we get a lot of ravens losing egg shells?"

"I can't imagine," bawled Mister Falcon.

"What are we going to do about it?" articulated Mrs. Polecat.

"Appoint a committee?" squawked Mister Falcon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Polecat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Polecat patiently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," grunted Mister Falcon elatedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Polecat sternly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," amended Mister Falcon unnaturally, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the four-poster bed on his front porch, looking out over the cesspool and grumbling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Polecat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," appealed Mrs. Polecat madly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Falcon thought he had answered, and was beginning to get jaunty. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Polecat doing these days?"

Mrs. Polecat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Falcon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied swiftly.