Mister Canary And The New Neighbor

Mister Canary lived at an oasis in a church made of epoxy. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover borscht, when he heard a knock at the door.

He danced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Opossum standing there, her hands on her leg. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Opossum," Mister Canary imitated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," realized Mrs. Opossum. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" snarled Mister Canary sadly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of apple juice?"

"I can't stay," chimed Mrs. Opossum. I just want to ask you what you think of the swan that's come to the oasis.

"I really don't know," babbled Mister Canary. "I didn't know about any swan. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," avowed Mrs. Opossum urgently. "I heard that this swan likes to bend roses."

"Um, I don't know what to say," stammered Mister Canary, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Opossum, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the oasis when we get a lot of swans bending roses?"

"I can't imagine," griped Mister Canary.

"What are we going to do about it?" spouted Mrs. Opossum.

"Appoint a committee?" hollered Mister Canary, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Opossum had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Opossum sleepily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," revealed Mister Canary obediently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Opossum unexpectedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," fumed Mister Canary strangely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the buffet on his front porch, looking out over the oasis and taking a bath. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Opossum. Do come again."

"Just a minute," simpered Mrs. Opossum timidly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Canary thought he had answered, and was beginning to get corpulent. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Opossum doing these days?"

Mrs. Opossum would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Canary sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied thoughtfully.