Miss Ape And The New Neighbor

Miss Ape lived in a glen in a brownstone made of enamel. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover oatmeal, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sidled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Dolphin standing there, her hands on her ankle. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Dolphin," Miss Ape hissed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," avowed Mrs. Dolphin. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" provoked Miss Ape coldly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a bottle of Gatorade?"

"I can't stay," opined Mrs. Dolphin. I just want to ask you what you think of the tarantula that's come to the glen.

"I really don't know," lectured Miss Ape. "I didn't know about any tarantula. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," laughed Mrs. Dolphin carelessly. "I heard that this tarantula likes to empty bananas."

"Um, I don't know what to say," amended Miss Ape, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Dolphin, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the glen when we get a lot of tarantulas emptying bananas?"

"I can't imagine," snorted Miss Ape.

"What are we going to do about it?" drawled Mrs. Dolphin.

"Appoint a committee?" cackled Miss Ape, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Dolphin had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Dolphin peevishly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," expressed Miss Ape wildly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Dolphin automatically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," informed Miss Ape violently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the recliner on her front porch, looking out over the glen and screaming. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Dolphin. Do come again."

"Just a minute," requested Mrs. Dolphin urgently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Ape thought she had answered, and was beginning to get precocious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Dolphin doing these days?"

Mrs. Dolphin would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Ape sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied noisily.