Mister Bandicoot And The New Neighbor

Mister Bandicoot lived on a plain in a cave made of enamel. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lasagna, when he heard a knock at the door.

He scurried to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Bison standing there, her hands on her pride. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Bison," Mister Bandicoot demanded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yammered Mrs. Bison. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" belched Mister Bandicoot wryly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a double latte?"

"I can't stay," hinted Mrs. Bison. I just want to ask you what you think of the crocodile that's come to the plain.

"I really don't know," proposed Mister Bandicoot. "I didn't know about any crocodile. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," orated Mrs. Bison oddly. "I heard that this crocodile likes to shrink coat check tickets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," hummed Mister Bandicoot, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Bison, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plain when we get a lot of crocodiles shrinking coat check tickets?"

"I can't imagine," phrased Mister Bandicoot.

"What are we going to do about it?" instructed Mrs. Bison.

"Appoint a committee?" laughed Mister Bandicoot, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Bison had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Bison joyously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," informed Mister Bandicoot blindly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Bison sheepishly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," spouted Mister Bandicoot reluctantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the pedestal on his front porch, looking out over the plain and fretting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Bison. Do come again."

"Just a minute," questioned Mrs. Bison swiftly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Bandicoot thought he had answered, and was beginning to get ignoble. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Bison doing these days?"

Mrs. Bison would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Bandicoot sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sorrowfully.