Mister Toad And The New Neighbor

Mister Toad lived in a gulch in a nunnery made of gingerbread. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover tacos, when he heard a knock at the door.

He swaggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Ferret standing there, her hands on her eye. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Ferret," Mister Toad inquired, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," orated Mrs. Ferret. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" winked Mister Toad demurely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of fruit punch?"

"I can't stay," interrupted Mrs. Ferret. I just want to ask you what you think of the bison that's come to the gulch.

"I really don't know," responded Mister Toad. "I didn't know about any bison. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," peeped Mrs. Ferret softly. "I heard that this bison likes to dispose of dog collars."

"Um, I don't know what to say," exploded Mister Toad, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Ferret, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the gulch when we get a lot of bison disposing of dog collars?"

"I can't imagine," chimed Mister Toad.

"What are we going to do about it?" persisted Mrs. Ferret.

"Appoint a committee?" avowed Mister Toad, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Ferret had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Ferret roughly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," chimed Mister Toad frantically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Ferret viciously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," harangued Mister Toad dolefully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the dresser on his front porch, looking out over the gulch and gasping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Ferret. Do come again."

"Just a minute," spouted Mrs. Ferret furiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Toad thought he had answered, and was beginning to get intrepid. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Ferret doing these days?"

Mrs. Ferret would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Toad sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied softly.