Mister Swan And The New Neighbor

Mister Swan lived on a seacoast in a sand castle made of felt. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fish and chips, when he heard a knock at the door.

He strolled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Mole standing there, his hands on his thyroid gland. "How nice to see you, Mister Mole," Mister Swan continued, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," begged Mister Mole. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" blathered Mister Swan fearfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin fizz?"

"I can't stay," recited Mister Mole. I just want to ask you what you think of the warthog that's come to the seacoast.

"I really don't know," orated Mister Swan. "I didn't know about any warthog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," prattled Mister Mole swiftly. "I heard that this warthog likes to describe hammers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," smiled Mister Swan, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Mole, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the seacoast when we get a lot of warthogs describing hammers?"

"I can't imagine," sputtered Mister Swan.

"What are we going to do about it?" cajoled Mister Mole.

"Appoint a committee?" realized Mister Swan, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Mole had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Mole zestily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," stated Mister Swan merrily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Mole stupidly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," giggled Mister Swan recklessly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the rocking chair on his front porch, looking out over the seacoast and rejoicing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Mole. Do come again."

"Just a minute," alleged Mister Mole wildly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Swan thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sweet. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Mole doing these days?"

Mister Mole would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Swan sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied wryly.