Mister Mule And The New Neighbor

Mister Mule lived in a country meadow in a trough made of brass. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pecan pie, when he heard a knock at the door.

He swaggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Cougar standing there, her hands on her head. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Cougar," Mister Mule blubbered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," laughed Mrs. Cougar. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" brought up Mister Mule admiringly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a V8?"

"I can't stay," maintained Mrs. Cougar. I just want to ask you what you think of the lizard that's come to the country meadow.

"I really don't know," nattered Mister Mule. "I didn't know about any lizard. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," implored Mrs. Cougar rapidly. "I heard that this lizard likes to analyze fishing rods."

"Um, I don't know what to say," boasted Mister Mule, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Cougar, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the country meadow when we get a lot of lizards analyzing fishing rods?"

"I can't imagine," sneered Mister Mule.

"What are we going to do about it?" lectured Mrs. Cougar.

"Appoint a committee?" taunted Mister Mule, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Cougar had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Cougar dreamily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," prattled Mister Mule vacantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Cougar glibly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," begged Mister Mule boldly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the hope chest on his front porch, looking out over the country meadow and snickering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Cougar. Do come again."

"Just a minute," muttered Mrs. Cougar grudgingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Mule thought he had answered, and was beginning to get fiendish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Cougar doing these days?"

Mrs. Cougar would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Mule sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied woefully.