Mister Raccoon And The New Neighbor

Mister Raccoon lived in a neighborhood in a cave made of mud. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover catfish stew, when he heard a knock at the door.

He scooted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Gecko standing there, her hands on her pituitary gland. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Gecko," Mister Raccoon invited, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," swore Mrs. Gecko. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" vouched Mister Raccoon charmingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bacardi?"

"I can't stay," sniveled Mrs. Gecko. I just want to ask you what you think of the cow that's come to the neighborhood.

"I really don't know," railed Mister Raccoon. "I didn't know about any cow. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," emphasized Mrs. Gecko glibly. "I heard that this cow likes to distort cans of sardines."

"Um, I don't know what to say," instructed Mister Raccoon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Gecko, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the neighborhood when we get a lot of cows distorting cans of sardines?"

"I can't imagine," announced Mister Raccoon.

"What are we going to do about it?" chuckled Mrs. Gecko.

"Appoint a committee?" admitted Mister Raccoon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Gecko had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Gecko openly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," declaimed Mister Raccoon uselessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Gecko sadly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," acknowledged Mister Raccoon woefully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the rocking chair on his front porch, looking out over the neighborhood and doing the Hokey Pokey. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Gecko. Do come again."

"Just a minute," bellowed Mrs. Gecko nervously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Raccoon thought he had answered, and was beginning to get drowsy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Gecko doing these days?"

Mrs. Gecko would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Raccoon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied tensely.