Miss Airedale And The New Neighbor

Miss Airedale lived in a landfill in an igloo made of axle grease. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cinnamon toast, when she heard a knock at the door.

She waltzed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Quail standing there, his hands on his larynx. "How nice to see you, Mister Quail," Miss Airedale hinted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," tittered Mister Quail. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" enunciated Miss Airedale dubiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of hot chocolate?"

"I can't stay," announced Mister Quail. I just want to ask you what you think of the owl that's come to the landfill.

"I really don't know," screeched Miss Airedale. "I didn't know about any owl. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," shouted Mister Quail tensely. "I heard that this owl likes to roll knitting needles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," peeped Miss Airedale, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Quail, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the landfill when we get a lot of owls rolling knitting needles?"

"I can't imagine," guessed Miss Airedale.

"What are we going to do about it?" argued Mister Quail.

"Appoint a committee?" ranted Miss Airedale, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Quail had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Quail hopefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," stormed Miss Airedale immediately, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Quail daringly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," inquired Miss Airedale fearfully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the dining table on her front porch, looking out over the landfill and sweating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Quail. Do come again."

"Just a minute," judged Mister Quail zestily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Airedale thought she had answered, and was beginning to get freakish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Quail doing these days?"

Mister Quail would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Airedale sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied coolly.