Miss Phantom And The New Neighbor

Miss Phantom lived in a jungle in a farmhouse made of rubble. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast turkey, when she heard a knock at the door.

She scooted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Donkey standing there, his hands on his femur. "How nice to see you, Mister Donkey," Miss Phantom called, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," asserted Mister Donkey. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mentioned Miss Phantom timidly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of espresso?"

"I can't stay," admitted Mister Donkey. I just want to ask you what you think of the grasshopper that's come to the jungle.

"I really don't know," preached Miss Phantom. "I didn't know about any grasshopper. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," suggested Mister Donkey rapidly. "I heard that this grasshopper likes to brush sacks of potatoes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," proposed Miss Phantom, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Donkey, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the jungle when we get a lot of grasshoppers brushing sacks of potatoes?"

"I can't imagine," demanded Miss Phantom.

"What are we going to do about it?" agreed Mister Donkey.

"Appoint a committee?" admitted Miss Phantom, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Donkey had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Donkey grimly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," cajoled Miss Phantom warily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Donkey immediately. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," interrupted Miss Phantom reluctantly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the floor on her front porch, looking out over the jungle and rejoicing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Donkey. Do come again."

"Just a minute," rebutted Mister Donkey surreptitiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Phantom thought she had answered, and was beginning to get fashionable. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Donkey doing these days?"

Mister Donkey would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Phantom sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied cruelly.