Mister Manatee And The New Neighbor

Mister Manatee lived on a hillside in a skyscraper made of asphalt. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chopped liver, when he heard a knock at the door.

He scampered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Gila monster standing there, her hands on her fingernail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Gila monster," Mister Manatee joked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," pronounced Mrs. Gila monster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" remarked Mister Manatee ferociously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Seven and Seven?"

"I can't stay," decided Mrs. Gila monster. I just want to ask you what you think of the louse that's come to the hillside.

"I really don't know," implored Mister Manatee. "I didn't know about any louse. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," lectured Mrs. Gila monster menacingly. "I heard that this louse likes to nuke bottles of perfume."

"Um, I don't know what to say," spat Mister Manatee, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Gila monster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hillside when we get a lot of lice nuking bottles of perfume?"

"I can't imagine," winked Mister Manatee.

"What are we going to do about it?" yelled Mrs. Gila monster.

"Appoint a committee?" yelled Mister Manatee, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Gila monster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Gila monster quietly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," winked Mister Manatee thoughtfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Gila monster boisterously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," protested Mister Manatee uselessly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the chair on his front porch, looking out over the hillside and applauding. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Gila monster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," squawked Mrs. Gila monster sourly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Manatee thought he had answered, and was beginning to get exuberant. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Gila monster doing these days?"

Mrs. Gila monster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Manatee sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied dolefully.