Miss Walrus And The New Neighbor

Miss Walrus lived on a path in a teepee made of cedar. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fried okra, when she heard a knock at the door.

She traipsed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Gnu standing there, her hands on her earlobe. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Gnu," Miss Walrus remarked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," reasoned Mrs. Gnu. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" spewed Miss Walrus primly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of hot cider?"

"I can't stay," vouched Mrs. Gnu. I just want to ask you what you think of the beagle that's come to the path.

"I really don't know," retorted Miss Walrus. "I didn't know about any beagle. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," contended Mrs. Gnu trustingly. "I heard that this beagle likes to smash diamonds."

"Um, I don't know what to say," chortled Miss Walrus, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Gnu, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the path when we get a lot of beagles smashing diamonds?"

"I can't imagine," fantasized Miss Walrus.

"What are we going to do about it?" fantasized Mrs. Gnu.

"Appoint a committee?" hollered Miss Walrus, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Gnu had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Gnu cleverly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," imitated Miss Walrus madly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Gnu shakily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," roared Miss Walrus briskly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the cushion on her front porch, looking out over the path and doodling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Gnu. Do come again."

"Just a minute," wailed Mrs. Gnu lovingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Walrus thought she had answered, and was beginning to get sloppy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Gnu doing these days?"

Mrs. Gnu would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Walrus sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied languidly.