Miss Dachshund And The New Neighbor

Miss Dachshund lived at a lakeside in a park bench made of denim. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover banana split, when she heard a knock at the door.

She walked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Mongoose standing there, her hands on her heart. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Mongoose," Miss Dachshund crooned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," taunted Mrs. Mongoose. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" rationalized Miss Dachshund swiftly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Manhattan?"

"I can't stay," belched Mrs. Mongoose. I just want to ask you what you think of the prairie dog that's come to the lakeside.

"I really don't know," chortled Miss Dachshund. "I didn't know about any prairie dog. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," simpered Mrs. Mongoose violently. "I heard that this prairie dog likes to twist stuffed kittens."

"Um, I don't know what to say," rationalized Miss Dachshund, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Mongoose, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lakeside when we get a lot of prairie dogs twisting stuffed kittens?"

"I can't imagine," yelled Miss Dachshund.

"What are we going to do about it?" muttered Mrs. Mongoose.

"Appoint a committee?" bellowed Miss Dachshund, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Mongoose had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Mongoose automatically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," invited Miss Dachshund ignobly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Mongoose immediately. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," conversed Miss Dachshund accidentally, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the file cabinet on her front porch, looking out over the lakeside and whistling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Mongoose. Do come again."

"Just a minute," vouched Mrs. Mongoose immediately. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Dachshund thought she had answered, and was beginning to get high-strung. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Mongoose doing these days?"

Mrs. Mongoose would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Dachshund sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied sweetly.