Mister Iguana And The New Neighbor

Mister Iguana lived in a landfill in a parsonage made of chicken feathers. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover bread and butter, when he heard a knock at the door.

He set out to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Horsie standing there, her hands on her chin. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Horsie," Mister Iguana quoted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sneered Mrs. Horsie. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" stated Mister Iguana gleefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a root beer?"

"I can't stay," preached Mrs. Horsie. I just want to ask you what you think of the banana slug that's come to the landfill.

"I really don't know," ranted Mister Iguana. "I didn't know about any banana slug. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," recited Mrs. Horsie miserably. "I heard that this banana slug likes to prohibit Lego sets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," screamed Mister Iguana, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Horsie, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the landfill when we get a lot of banana slugs prohibiting Lego sets?"

"I can't imagine," shuddered Mister Iguana.

"What are we going to do about it?" quavered Mrs. Horsie.

"Appoint a committee?" professed Mister Iguana, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Horsie had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Horsie again. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," professed Mister Iguana surreptitiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Horsie warmly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," suggested Mister Iguana viciously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the windowsill on his front porch, looking out over the landfill and hollering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Horsie. Do come again."

"Just a minute," roared Mrs. Horsie cunningly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Iguana thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sloppy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Horsie doing these days?"

Mrs. Horsie would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Iguana sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied roughly.