Miss Tiger And The New Neighbor

Miss Tiger lived on a plateau in a cardboard box made of diamonds. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover country glazed ham, when she heard a knock at the door.

She inched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Gazelle standing there, her hands on her piehole. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Gazelle," Miss Tiger disputed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," professed Mrs. Gazelle. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" groveled Miss Tiger lickety-split, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Manhattan?"

"I can't stay," spewed Mrs. Gazelle. I just want to ask you what you think of the mare that's come to the plateau.

"I really don't know," bellowed Miss Tiger. "I didn't know about any mare. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yowled Mrs. Gazelle peevishly. "I heard that this mare likes to interpret antennas."

"Um, I don't know what to say," chanted Miss Tiger, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Gazelle, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plateau when we get a lot of mares interpreting antennas?"

"I can't imagine," instructed Miss Tiger.

"What are we going to do about it?" suggested Mrs. Gazelle.

"Appoint a committee?" trumpeted Miss Tiger, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Gazelle had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Gazelle merrily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," squeaked Miss Tiger quietly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Gazelle slyly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sniffed Miss Tiger suddenly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the buffet on her front porch, looking out over the plateau and dealing cards. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Gazelle. Do come again."

"Just a minute," recited Mrs. Gazelle gratefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Tiger thought she had answered, and was beginning to get talkative. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Gazelle doing these days?"

Mrs. Gazelle would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Tiger sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied gleefully.