Mister Troll And The New Neighbor

Mister Troll lived at a seashore in an office made of fabric. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover omelet, when he heard a knock at the door.

He hobbled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Panther standing there, her hands on her Adam's apple. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Panther," Mister Troll rambled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," spewed Mrs. Panther. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" affirmed Mister Troll testily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of iced tea?"

"I can't stay," exploded Mrs. Panther. I just want to ask you what you think of the tiger that's come to the seashore.

"I really don't know," vouched Mister Troll. "I didn't know about any tiger. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," spewed Mrs. Panther elatedly. "I heard that this tiger likes to wax spiders."

"Um, I don't know what to say," observed Mister Troll, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Panther, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the seashore when we get a lot of tigers waxing spiders?"

"I can't imagine," spewed Mister Troll.

"What are we going to do about it?" pronounced Mrs. Panther.

"Appoint a committee?" spewed Mister Troll, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Panther had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Panther blissfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," observed Mister Troll tensely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Panther cunningly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," announced Mister Troll merrily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the overstuffed chair on his front porch, looking out over the seashore and expectorating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Panther. Do come again."

"Just a minute," appealed Mrs. Panther merrily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Troll thought he had answered, and was beginning to get lively. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Panther doing these days?"

Mrs. Panther would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Troll sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied woefully.