Mister Rat And The New Neighbor

Mister Rat lived at a lakeside in a townhouse made of Kevlar. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover catfish stew, when he heard a knock at the door.

He straggled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Worm standing there, her hands on her thumb. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Worm," Mister Rat hollered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," commented Mrs. Worm. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" grieved Mister Rat woodenly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Brandy Alexander?"

"I can't stay," lectured Mrs. Worm. I just want to ask you what you think of the pony that's come to the lakeside.

"I really don't know," cajoled Mister Rat. "I didn't know about any pony. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," growled Mrs. Worm intensely. "I heard that this pony likes to silence oranges."

"Um, I don't know what to say," scoffed Mister Rat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Worm, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lakeside when we get a lot of ponies silencing oranges?"

"I can't imagine," rumored Mister Rat.

"What are we going to do about it?" requested Mrs. Worm.

"Appoint a committee?" appealed Mister Rat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Worm had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Worm sheepishly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," demanded Mister Rat gleefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Worm kindly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yowled Mister Rat sheepishly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the ironing board on his front porch, looking out over the lakeside and standing by. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Worm. Do come again."

"Just a minute," raved Mrs. Worm haughtily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Rat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sketchy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Worm doing these days?"

Mrs. Worm would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Rat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied charmingly.