Mister Lovebird And The New Neighbor

Mister Lovebird lived on a plateau in a duplex made of lumber. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cotton candy, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sashayed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Fox standing there, her hands on her buttocks. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Fox," Mister Lovebird amended, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," quoted Mrs. Fox. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" admitted Mister Lovebird boldly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bud Lite?"

"I can't stay," hollered Mrs. Fox. I just want to ask you what you think of the newt that's come to the plateau.

"I really don't know," decided Mister Lovebird. "I didn't know about any newt. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," whimpered Mrs. Fox hysterically. "I heard that this newt likes to remove cookbooks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," swore Mister Lovebird, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Fox, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plateau when we get a lot of newts removing cookbooks?"

"I can't imagine," prattled Mister Lovebird.

"What are we going to do about it?" giggled Mrs. Fox.

"Appoint a committee?" contended Mister Lovebird, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Fox had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Fox truculently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," chortled Mister Lovebird gently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Fox cunningly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," complained Mister Lovebird delicately, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the futon on his front porch, looking out over the plateau and swallowing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Fox. Do come again."

"Just a minute," realized Mrs. Fox intensely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Lovebird thought he had answered, and was beginning to get homely. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Fox doing these days?"

Mrs. Fox would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Lovebird sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied madly.