Miss Doberman And The New Neighbor

Miss Doberman lived on a veld in a villa made of wire. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lobster, when she heard a knock at the door.

She dove to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Eagle standing there, her hands on her ear. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Eagle," Miss Doberman reminded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," spewed Mrs. Eagle. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" burbled Miss Doberman cunningly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a martini?"

"I can't stay," protested Mrs. Eagle. I just want to ask you what you think of the hog that's come to the veld.

"I really don't know," exploded Miss Doberman. "I didn't know about any hog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," swore Mrs. Eagle dubiously. "I heard that this hog likes to bury cell phones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sneered Miss Doberman, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Eagle, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the veld when we get a lot of hogs burying cell phones?"

"I can't imagine," orated Miss Doberman.

"What are we going to do about it?" insisted Mrs. Eagle.

"Appoint a committee?" pronounced Miss Doberman, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Eagle had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Eagle lickety-split. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," prattled Miss Doberman dreamily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Eagle lickety-split. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," nattered Miss Doberman lightly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the pool table on her front porch, looking out over the veld and stretching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Eagle. Do come again."

"Just a minute," wept Mrs. Eagle coolly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Doberman thought she had answered, and was beginning to get frightened. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Eagle doing these days?"

Mrs. Eagle would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Doberman sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied sharply.