Mister Crocodile And The New Neighbor

Mister Crocodile lived in a desert in a palace made of starch. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cornbread, when he heard a knock at the door.

He careened to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Boar standing there, his hands on his thumb. "How nice to see you, Mister Boar," Mister Crocodile murmured, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," answered Mister Boar. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mouthed Mister Crocodile boisterously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an ice cream soda?"

"I can't stay," sniped Mister Boar. I just want to ask you what you think of the lobster that's come to the desert.

"I really don't know," shrieked Mister Crocodile. "I didn't know about any lobster. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," squawked Mister Boar deliberately. "I heard that this lobster likes to feel magnets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," alleged Mister Crocodile, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Boar, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the desert when we get a lot of lobsters feeling magnets?"

"I can't imagine," persisted Mister Crocodile.

"What are we going to do about it?" repeated Mister Boar.

"Appoint a committee?" explained Mister Crocodile, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Boar had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Boar gruffly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," remarked Mister Crocodile ruefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Boar arrogantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," snarled Mister Crocodile oddly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the hamper on his front porch, looking out over the desert and grinning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Boar. Do come again."

"Just a minute," worried Mister Boar cunningly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Crocodile thought he had answered, and was beginning to get ignoble. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Boar doing these days?"

Mister Boar would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Crocodile sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sorrowfully.