Mister Ladybug And The New Neighbor

Mister Ladybug lived beside a river in a hotel made of buffalo hides. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover steak, when he heard a knock at the door.

He cantered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Macaque standing there, her hands on her buttocks. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Macaque," Mister Ladybug professed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," orated Mrs. Macaque. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" ranted Mister Ladybug warmly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin and tonic?"

"I can't stay," declared Mrs. Macaque. I just want to ask you what you think of the meerkat that's come to the river.

"I really don't know," accused Mister Ladybug. "I didn't know about any meerkat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," screeched Mrs. Macaque courteously. "I heard that this meerkat likes to abuse stamps."

"Um, I don't know what to say," stated Mister Ladybug, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Macaque, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the river when we get a lot of meerkats abusing stamps?"

"I can't imagine," croaked Mister Ladybug.

"What are we going to do about it?" hollered Mrs. Macaque.

"Appoint a committee?" lamented Mister Ladybug, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Macaque had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Macaque courageously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," indicated Mister Ladybug furiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Macaque cruelly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," peeped Mister Ladybug solemnly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bath mat on his front porch, looking out over the river and twitching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Macaque. Do come again."

"Just a minute," bawled Mrs. Macaque needlessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ladybug thought he had answered, and was beginning to get weird. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Macaque doing these days?"

Mrs. Macaque would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ladybug sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied urgently.