Mister Crab And The New Neighbor

Mister Crab lived on a mountain in a sand castle made of platinum. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fried chicken, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tiptoed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Garter snake standing there, his hands on his finger. "How nice to see you, Mister Garter snake," Mister Crab bawled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," mouthed Mister Garter snake. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" quoted Mister Crab slowly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of lemonade?"

"I can't stay," trumpeted Mister Garter snake. I just want to ask you what you think of the jellyfish that's come to the mountain.

"I really don't know," queried Mister Crab. "I didn't know about any jellyfish. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," howled Mister Garter snake flightily. "I heard that this jellyfish likes to smell batons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," croaked Mister Crab, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Garter snake, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountain when we get a lot of jellyfish smelling batons?"

"I can't imagine," orated Mister Crab.

"What are we going to do about it?" clarified Mister Garter snake.

"Appoint a committee?" persisted Mister Crab, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Garter snake had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Garter snake trustingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," boomed Mister Crab reluctantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Garter snake shakily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," growled Mister Crab joyously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the hope chest on his front porch, looking out over the mountain and winking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Garter snake. Do come again."

"Just a minute," squealed Mister Garter snake lamely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Crab thought he had answered, and was beginning to get gargantuan. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Garter snake doing these days?"

Mister Garter snake would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Crab sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied boisterously.