Mister Chameleon And The New Neighbor

Mister Chameleon lived in a landfill in an igloo made of tin. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fried chicken, when he heard a knock at the door.

He reeled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Crocodile standing there, his hands on his buttocks. "How nice to see you, Mister Crocodile," Mister Chameleon griped, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," purred Mister Crocodile. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" ranted Mister Chameleon kindly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of hot chocolate?"

"I can't stay," sneered Mister Crocodile. I just want to ask you what you think of the Guinea pig that's come to the landfill.

"I really don't know," bawled Mister Chameleon. "I didn't know about any Guinea pig. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sniveled Mister Crocodile sharply. "I heard that this Guinea pig likes to strengthen elephant tusks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," spouted Mister Chameleon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Crocodile, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the landfill when we get a lot of Guinea pigs strengthening elephant tusks?"

"I can't imagine," whined Mister Chameleon.

"What are we going to do about it?" rebutted Mister Crocodile.

"Appoint a committee?" spewed Mister Chameleon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Crocodile had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Crocodile temperamentally. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," opined Mister Chameleon miserably, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Crocodile hungrily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," groveled Mister Chameleon fiercely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the catbird seat on his front porch, looking out over the landfill and purring. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Crocodile. Do come again."

"Just a minute," declared Mister Crocodile joyously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Chameleon thought he had answered, and was beginning to get tall. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Crocodile doing these days?"

Mister Crocodile would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Chameleon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied woefully.