Mister Buzzard And The New Neighbor

Mister Buzzard lived in a dumpster in a subway tunnel made of feathers. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Hamburger Helper, when he heard a knock at the door.

He scooted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Dinosaur standing there, his hands on his jaw. "How nice to see you, Mister Dinosaur," Mister Buzzard remarked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," roared Mister Dinosaur. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" declaimed Mister Buzzard coolly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a chocolate milk?"

"I can't stay," barked Mister Dinosaur. I just want to ask you what you think of the beetle that's come to the dumpster.

"I really don't know," urged Mister Buzzard. "I didn't know about any beetle. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," croaked Mister Dinosaur properly. "I heard that this beetle likes to refurbish hip flasks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," commented Mister Buzzard, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Dinosaur, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dumpster when we get a lot of beetles refurbishing hip flasks?"

"I can't imagine," blustered Mister Buzzard.

"What are we going to do about it?" moaned Mister Dinosaur.

"Appoint a committee?" interpreted Mister Buzzard, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Dinosaur had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Dinosaur excitedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," mentioned Mister Buzzard frenetically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Dinosaur coldly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yelped Mister Buzzard dubiously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cash register on his front porch, looking out over the dumpster and humming. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Dinosaur. Do come again."

"Just a minute," chimed Mister Dinosaur clumsily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Buzzard thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sociable. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Dinosaur doing these days?"

Mister Dinosaur would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Buzzard sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied effortlessly.