Mister Norway Rat And The New Neighbor

Mister Norway rat lived in a canyon in a townhouse made of moss. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover potatoes and gravy, when he heard a knock at the door.

He lumbered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Chimpanzee standing there, his hands on his kneecap. "How nice to see you, Mister Chimpanzee," Mister Norway rat fretted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," trumpeted Mister Chimpanzee. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" chuckled Mister Norway rat confidently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a rum and Coke?"

"I can't stay," opined Mister Chimpanzee. I just want to ask you what you think of the sheep that's come to the canyon.

"I really don't know," indicated Mister Norway rat. "I didn't know about any sheep. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," realized Mister Chimpanzee cunningly. "I heard that this sheep likes to reposition oranges."

"Um, I don't know what to say," exploded Mister Norway rat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Chimpanzee, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the canyon when we get a lot of sheep repositioning oranges?"

"I can't imagine," squeaked Mister Norway rat.

"What are we going to do about it?" whined Mister Chimpanzee.

"Appoint a committee?" blathered Mister Norway rat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Chimpanzee had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Chimpanzee sternly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," lectured Mister Norway rat woefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Chimpanzee miserably. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," chattered Mister Norway rat offhandedly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cupboard on his front porch, looking out over the canyon and barfing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Chimpanzee. Do come again."

"Just a minute," giggled Mister Chimpanzee doubtfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Norway rat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get deadly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Chimpanzee doing these days?"

Mister Chimpanzee would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Norway rat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied defiantly.