Mister Finch And The New Neighbor

Mister Finch lived on a moonscape in a teepee made of wax. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chocolate-covered ants, when he heard a knock at the door.

He galumphed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Tsetse fly standing there, his hands on his nostril. "How nice to see you, Mister Tsetse fly," Mister Finch rebutted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," maintained Mister Tsetse fly. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" yammered Mister Finch clumsily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bacardi?"

"I can't stay," fretted Mister Tsetse fly. I just want to ask you what you think of the canary that's come to the moonscape.

"I really don't know," burbled Mister Finch. "I didn't know about any canary. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," whimpered Mister Tsetse fly boldly. "I heard that this canary likes to smash dishes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," disputed Mister Finch, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Tsetse fly, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the moonscape when we get a lot of canaries smashing dishes?"

"I can't imagine," rationalized Mister Finch.

"What are we going to do about it?" called Mister Tsetse fly.

"Appoint a committee?" trumpeted Mister Finch, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Tsetse fly had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Tsetse fly smoothly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," smiled Mister Finch thoughtfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Tsetse fly peevishly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," hollered Mister Finch charmingly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the file cabinet on his front porch, looking out over the moonscape and blanking out. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Tsetse fly. Do come again."

"Just a minute," groaned Mister Tsetse fly gratefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Finch thought he had answered, and was beginning to get boring. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Tsetse fly doing these days?"

Mister Tsetse fly would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Finch sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied cleverly.