Miss Whale And The New Neighbor

Miss Whale lived alongside a stream in an igloo made of aluminum. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast turkey, when she heard a knock at the door.

She stalked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Buzzard standing there, her hands on her toenail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Buzzard," Miss Whale chortled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," preached Mrs. Buzzard. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" informed Miss Whale curiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of buttermilk?"

"I can't stay," spoke up Mrs. Buzzard. I just want to ask you what you think of the caribou that's come to the stream.

"I really don't know," croaked Miss Whale. "I didn't know about any caribou. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," announced Mrs. Buzzard nonchalantly. "I heard that this caribou likes to propel hair dryers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," mused Miss Whale, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Buzzard, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the stream when we get a lot of caribous propelling hair dryers?"

"I can't imagine," declared Miss Whale.

"What are we going to do about it?" amended Mrs. Buzzard.

"Appoint a committee?" shuddered Miss Whale, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Buzzard had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Buzzard accidentally. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sputtered Miss Whale coolly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Buzzard reluctantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," purred Miss Whale madly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the piano on her front porch, looking out over the stream and thinking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Buzzard. Do come again."

"Just a minute," declaimed Mrs. Buzzard ferociously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Whale thought she had answered, and was beginning to get difficult. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Buzzard doing these days?"

Mrs. Buzzard would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Whale sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied deliberately.