Mister Ape And The New Neighbor

Mister Ape lived in a backyard in a boxcar made of matchsticks. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cinnamon toast, when he heard a knock at the door.

He cantered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Newt standing there, his hands on his thigh. "How nice to see you, Mister Newt," Mister Ape explained, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," belched Mister Newt. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" chanted Mister Ape grandly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of water?"

"I can't stay," griped Mister Newt. I just want to ask you what you think of the tapeworm that's come to the backyard.

"I really don't know," intimated Mister Ape. "I didn't know about any tapeworm. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," repeated Mister Newt dolorously. "I heard that this tapeworm likes to reject tablet computers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," declaimed Mister Ape, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Newt, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the backyard when we get a lot of tapeworms rejecting tablet computers?"

"I can't imagine," recited Mister Ape.

"What are we going to do about it?" repeated Mister Newt.

"Appoint a committee?" rationalized Mister Ape, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Newt had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Newt doubtfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," enunciated Mister Ape quietly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Newt innocently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," swore Mister Ape tearfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the chair on his front porch, looking out over the backyard and getting angry. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Newt. Do come again."

"Just a minute," demanded Mister Newt firmly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ape thought he had answered, and was beginning to get stern. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Newt doing these days?"

Mister Newt would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ape sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied mysteriously.