Miss Hermit Crab And The New Neighbor

Miss Hermit crab lived on a peninsula in a duplex made of canvas. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover smoked salmon, when she heard a knock at the door.

She made a beeline to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Monkey standing there, her hands on her head. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Monkey," Miss Hermit crab fantasized, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," groveled Mrs. Monkey. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" panted Miss Hermit crab thoughtfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Seven and Seven?"

"I can't stay," agreed Mrs. Monkey. I just want to ask you what you think of the kitten that's come to the peninsula.

"I really don't know," trumpeted Miss Hermit crab. "I didn't know about any kitten. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yawned Mrs. Monkey crossly. "I heard that this kitten likes to hammer cans of sardines."

"Um, I don't know what to say," protested Miss Hermit crab, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Monkey, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the peninsula when we get a lot of kittens hammering cans of sardines?"

"I can't imagine," alleged Miss Hermit crab.

"What are we going to do about it?" asked Mrs. Monkey.

"Appoint a committee?" scoffed Miss Hermit crab, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Monkey had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Monkey nonchalantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," admitted Miss Hermit crab despondently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Monkey flightily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yelped Miss Hermit crab immediately, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the credenza on her front porch, looking out over the peninsula and chortling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Monkey. Do come again."

"Just a minute," swore Mrs. Monkey majestically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Hermit crab thought she had answered, and was beginning to get generous. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Monkey doing these days?"

Mrs. Monkey would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Hermit crab sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied awkwardly.