Miss Elk And The New Neighbor

Miss Elk lived in a jungle in a palace made of slate. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover tacos, when she heard a knock at the door.

She clambered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Reindeer standing there, his hands on his stomach. "How nice to see you, Mister Reindeer," Miss Elk rumored, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," stammered Mister Reindeer. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" amended Miss Elk gleefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," enunciated Mister Reindeer. I just want to ask you what you think of the Pekingese that's come to the jungle.

"I really don't know," mentioned Miss Elk. "I didn't know about any Pekingese. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," continued Mister Reindeer warmly. "I heard that this Pekingese likes to slap Bibles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," answered Miss Elk, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Reindeer, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the jungle when we get a lot of Pekingeses slapping Bibles?"

"I can't imagine," muttered Miss Elk.

"What are we going to do about it?" bawled Mister Reindeer.

"Appoint a committee?" alleged Miss Elk, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Reindeer had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Reindeer bitterly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," added Miss Elk swiftly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Reindeer steadily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," questioned Miss Elk breathlessly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bathtub on her front porch, looking out over the jungle and crouching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Reindeer. Do come again."

"Just a minute," expressed Mister Reindeer urgently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Elk thought she had answered, and was beginning to get agitated. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Reindeer doing these days?"

Mister Reindeer would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Elk sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied frenetically.