Mister Gazelle And The New Neighbor

Mister Gazelle lived in a cave in a palace made of Kevlar. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fondue, when he heard a knock at the door.

He leapt to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Magpie standing there, his hands on his earlobe. "How nice to see you, Mister Magpie," Mister Gazelle reasoned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," guessed Mister Magpie. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" piped up Mister Gazelle madly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot chocolate?"

"I can't stay," repeated Mister Magpie. I just want to ask you what you think of the phantom that's come to the cave.

"I really don't know," articulated Mister Gazelle. "I didn't know about any phantom. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," instructed Mister Magpie cleverly. "I heard that this phantom likes to scrub blankets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," said Mister Gazelle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Magpie, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cave when we get a lot of phantoms scrubbing blankets?"

"I can't imagine," revealed Mister Gazelle.

"What are we going to do about it?" recited Mister Magpie.

"Appoint a committee?" worried Mister Gazelle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Magpie had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Magpie softly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," urged Mister Gazelle breathlessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Magpie innocently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," growled Mister Gazelle accidentally, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the fainting couch on his front porch, looking out over the cave and meditating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Magpie. Do come again."

"Just a minute," hissed Mister Magpie nonchalantly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Gazelle thought he had answered, and was beginning to get perky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Magpie doing these days?"

Mister Magpie would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Gazelle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied brashly.