Miss Macaque And The New Neighbor

Miss Macaque lived in a cesspool in a hovel made of old rags. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast turkey, when she heard a knock at the door.

She scampered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Ghost standing there, his hands on his Adam's apple. "How nice to see you, Mister Ghost," Miss Macaque accused, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," repeated Mister Ghost. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" growled Miss Macaque dubiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a piña colada?"

"I can't stay," phrased Mister Ghost. I just want to ask you what you think of the mongoose that's come to the cesspool.

"I really don't know," sobbed Miss Macaque. "I didn't know about any mongoose. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," exploded Mister Ghost positively. "I heard that this mongoose likes to drag nails."

"Um, I don't know what to say," simpered Miss Macaque, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Ghost, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cesspool when we get a lot of mongeese dragging nails?"

"I can't imagine," screamed Miss Macaque.

"What are we going to do about it?" fumed Mister Ghost.

"Appoint a committee?" griped Miss Macaque, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Ghost had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Ghost fervently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spoke up Miss Macaque carefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Ghost blissfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," analyzed Miss Macaque courageously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the nightstand on her front porch, looking out over the cesspool and exercising. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Ghost. Do come again."

"Just a minute," joked Mister Ghost sarcastically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Macaque thought she had answered, and was beginning to get dapper. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Ghost doing these days?"

Mister Ghost would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Macaque sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied accidentally.