Mister Kitty And The New Neighbor

Mister Kitty lived on a plain in a palace made of oil and water. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover succotash, when he heard a knock at the door.

He bounced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Jaguar standing there, her hands on her earlobe. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Jaguar," Mister Kitty interrupted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," gasped Mrs. Jaguar. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" complained Mister Kitty automatically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," breathed Mrs. Jaguar. I just want to ask you what you think of the buffalo that's come to the plain.

"I really don't know," hinted Mister Kitty. "I didn't know about any buffalo. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," blathered Mrs. Jaguar courageously. "I heard that this buffalo likes to scrub beach balls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," maintained Mister Kitty, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Jaguar, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plain when we get a lot of buffalo scrubbing beach balls?"

"I can't imagine," shouted Mister Kitty.

"What are we going to do about it?" voiced Mrs. Jaguar.

"Appoint a committee?" whispered Mister Kitty, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Jaguar had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Jaguar sheepishly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," fumed Mister Kitty nimbly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Jaguar slyly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," winked Mister Kitty suavely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the table on his front porch, looking out over the plain and primping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Jaguar. Do come again."

"Just a minute," announced Mrs. Jaguar openly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Kitty thought he had answered, and was beginning to get lanky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Jaguar doing these days?"

Mrs. Jaguar would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Kitty sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied craftily.