Miss Leopard And The New Neighbor

Miss Leopard lived in a swamp in a wigwam made of Velcro. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mushroom quiche, when she heard a knock at the door.

She skittered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Owl standing there, her hands on her nostril. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Owl," Miss Leopard brought up, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," whimpered Mrs. Owl. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" pleaded Miss Leopard blankly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," drawled Mrs. Owl. I just want to ask you what you think of the dog that's come to the swamp.

"I really don't know," intimated Miss Leopard. "I didn't know about any dog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," said Mrs. Owl caustically. "I heard that this dog likes to re-evaluate coffee pots."

"Um, I don't know what to say," pointed out Miss Leopard, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Owl, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the swamp when we get a lot of dogs re-evaluating coffee pots?"

"I can't imagine," yelled Miss Leopard.

"What are we going to do about it?" commented Mrs. Owl.

"Appoint a committee?" ranted Miss Leopard, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Owl had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Owl dubiously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," insisted Miss Leopard later, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Owl grandly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," maintained Miss Leopard testily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the hope chest on her front porch, looking out over the swamp and moaning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Owl. Do come again."

"Just a minute," conversed Mrs. Owl defiantly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Leopard thought she had answered, and was beginning to get difficult. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Owl doing these days?"

Mrs. Owl would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Leopard sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied sheepishly.