Miss Brine Shrimp And The New Neighbor

Miss Brine shrimp lived on a mountaintop in a sod house made of axle grease. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover sushi, when she heard a knock at the door.

She slumped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Mongoose standing there, his hands on his nostril. "How nice to see you, Mister Mongoose," Miss Brine shrimp implored, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," jeered Mister Mongoose. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" fantasized Miss Brine shrimp pitifully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cappuccino?"

"I can't stay," pronounced Mister Mongoose. I just want to ask you what you think of the pheasant that's come to the mountaintop.

"I really don't know," fumed Miss Brine shrimp. "I didn't know about any pheasant. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," professed Mister Mongoose sourly. "I heard that this pheasant likes to inspect barbells."

"Um, I don't know what to say," interpreted Miss Brine shrimp, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Mongoose, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountaintop when we get a lot of pheasants inspecting barbells?"

"I can't imagine," boomed Miss Brine shrimp.

"What are we going to do about it?" sniped Mister Mongoose.

"Appoint a committee?" screamed Miss Brine shrimp, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Mongoose had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Mongoose unabashedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," realized Miss Brine shrimp stupidly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Mongoose peevishly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," responded Miss Brine shrimp slyly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the dishwasher on her front porch, looking out over the mountaintop and laughing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Mongoose. Do come again."

"Just a minute," interrupted Mister Mongoose lazily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Brine shrimp thought she had answered, and was beginning to get somber. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Mongoose doing these days?"

Mister Mongoose would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Brine shrimp sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied coolly.