Mister Duck-billed Platypus And The New Neighbor

Mister Duck-billed platypus lived in a housing development in a KOA Kampground made of peat moss. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover beans, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sneaked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Puppy standing there, his hands on his piehole. "How nice to see you, Mister Puppy," Mister Duck-billed platypus rebutted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," murmured Mister Puppy. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" interpreted Mister Duck-billed platypus crankily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Cuba libre?"

"I can't stay," questioned Mister Puppy. I just want to ask you what you think of the wolf that's come to the housing development.

"I really don't know," intoned Mister Duck-billed platypus. "I didn't know about any wolf. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," belched Mister Puppy perkily. "I heard that this wolf likes to tickle rulers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," recited Mister Duck-billed platypus, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Puppy, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the housing development when we get a lot of wolves tickling rulers?"

"I can't imagine," howled Mister Duck-billed platypus.

"What are we going to do about it?" declared Mister Puppy.

"Appoint a committee?" warbled Mister Duck-billed platypus, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Puppy had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Puppy again. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," bragged Mister Duck-billed platypus lovingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Puppy brightly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," squeaked Mister Duck-billed platypus daringly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the chair on his front porch, looking out over the housing development and groaning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Puppy. Do come again."

"Just a minute," explained Mister Puppy innocently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Duck-billed platypus thought he had answered, and was beginning to get mournful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Puppy doing these days?"

Mister Puppy would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Duck-billed platypus sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sharply.