Mister Doggie And The New Neighbor

Mister Doggie lived in a swamp in a house made of alpaca hair. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover catfish stew, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tumbled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Swan standing there, her hands on her belly button. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Swan," Mister Doggie snorted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," roared Mrs. Swan. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" muttered Mister Doggie pityingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," blathered Mrs. Swan. I just want to ask you what you think of the manticore that's come to the swamp.

"I really don't know," comforted Mister Doggie. "I didn't know about any manticore. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," trumpeted Mrs. Swan uneasily. "I heard that this manticore likes to get yo-yos."

"Um, I don't know what to say," harangued Mister Doggie, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Swan, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the swamp when we get a lot of manticores getting yo-yos?"

"I can't imagine," insisted Mister Doggie.

"What are we going to do about it?" disputed Mrs. Swan.

"Appoint a committee?" gabbed Mister Doggie, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Swan had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Swan sourly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spewed Mister Doggie nonchalantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Swan crossly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," squealed Mister Doggie unabashedly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the china hutch on his front porch, looking out over the swamp and calming down. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Swan. Do come again."

"Just a minute," asked Mrs. Swan despondently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Doggie thought he had answered, and was beginning to get silly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Swan doing these days?"

Mrs. Swan would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Doggie sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied violently.