Mister Lark And The New Neighbor

Mister Lark lived in a badlands area in a mobile home made of nylon. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lobster bisque, when he heard a knock at the door.

He clambered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Muskrat standing there, her hands on her collarbone. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Muskrat," Mister Lark uttered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," protested Mrs. Muskrat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" yelled Mister Lark vigorously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a root beer float?"

"I can't stay," implored Mrs. Muskrat. I just want to ask you what you think of the zebra that's come to the badlands area.

"I really don't know," asked Mister Lark. "I didn't know about any zebra. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," agreed Mrs. Muskrat lightly. "I heard that this zebra likes to return Bunsen burners."

"Um, I don't know what to say," laughed Mister Lark, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Muskrat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the badlands area when we get a lot of zebras returning Bunsen burners?"

"I can't imagine," hinted Mister Lark.

"What are we going to do about it?" belched Mrs. Muskrat.

"Appoint a committee?" asserted Mister Lark, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Muskrat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Muskrat sweetly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," appealed Mister Lark stupidly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Muskrat crossly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," squawked Mister Lark awkwardly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the recliner on his front porch, looking out over the badlands area and twitching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Muskrat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," howled Mrs. Muskrat strangely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Lark thought he had answered, and was beginning to get eccentric. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Muskrat doing these days?"

Mrs. Muskrat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Lark sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied positively.