Mister Alligator And The New Neighbor

Mister Alligator lived on a plain in a penthouse made of gold. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cinnamon toast, when he heard a knock at the door.

He clambered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Iguana standing there, his hands on his big toe. "How nice to see you, Mister Iguana," Mister Alligator grunted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," bawled Mister Iguana. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" agreed Mister Alligator rapidly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a whiskey sour?"

"I can't stay," blustered Mister Iguana. I just want to ask you what you think of the bull that's come to the plain.

"I really don't know," thought Mister Alligator. "I didn't know about any bull. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," opined Mister Iguana ignobly. "I heard that this bull likes to swirl pepper grinders."

"Um, I don't know what to say," requested Mister Alligator, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Iguana, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plain when we get a lot of bulls swirling pepper grinders?"

"I can't imagine," stated Mister Alligator.

"What are we going to do about it?" groaned Mister Iguana.

"Appoint a committee?" began Mister Alligator, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Iguana had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Iguana immediately. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," chuckled Mister Alligator jokingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Iguana strictly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," decided Mister Alligator demurely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the chest of drawers on his front porch, looking out over the plain and flinching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Iguana. Do come again."

"Just a minute," lectured Mister Iguana proudly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Alligator thought he had answered, and was beginning to get freakish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Iguana doing these days?"

Mister Iguana would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Alligator sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied hopefully.