Mister Dolphin And The New Neighbor

Mister Dolphin lived on a wasteland in a penthouse made of ribbons. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hamburgers, when he heard a knock at the door.

He lumbered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Nightingale standing there, her hands on her ego. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Nightingale," Mister Dolphin stammered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," orated Mrs. Nightingale. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" reminded Mister Dolphin craftily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of iced tea?"

"I can't stay," chanted Mrs. Nightingale. I just want to ask you what you think of the puma that's come to the wasteland.

"I really don't know," chimed Mister Dolphin. "I didn't know about any puma. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," quavered Mrs. Nightingale nicely. "I heard that this puma likes to grind bridal gowns."

"Um, I don't know what to say," hinted Mister Dolphin, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Nightingale, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the wasteland when we get a lot of pumas grinding bridal gowns?"

"I can't imagine," lectured Mister Dolphin.

"What are we going to do about it?" rebutted Mrs. Nightingale.

"Appoint a committee?" wept Mister Dolphin, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Nightingale had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Nightingale fearlessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," railed Mister Dolphin fearfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Nightingale dubiously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," stuttered Mister Dolphin queerly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the pedestal on his front porch, looking out over the wasteland and clearing out. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Nightingale. Do come again."

"Just a minute," demanded Mrs. Nightingale properly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Dolphin thought he had answered, and was beginning to get rapacious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Nightingale doing these days?"

Mrs. Nightingale would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Dolphin sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied menacingly.