Mister Snipe And The New Neighbor

Mister Snipe lived on a mountainside in a teepee made of junk cars. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chopped liver, when he heard a knock at the door.

He strode to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Ape standing there, her hands on her funny bone. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Ape," Mister Snipe brought up, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," accused Mrs. Ape. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" enunciated Mister Snipe coldly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an old fashioned?"

"I can't stay," reacted Mrs. Ape. I just want to ask you what you think of the zebra that's come to the mountainside.

"I really don't know," bragged Mister Snipe. "I didn't know about any zebra. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," groaned Mrs. Ape thankfully. "I heard that this zebra likes to tweak feathers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," blurted Mister Snipe, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Ape, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountainside when we get a lot of zebras tweaking feathers?"

"I can't imagine," griped Mister Snipe.

"What are we going to do about it?" nattered Mrs. Ape.

"Appoint a committee?" commented Mister Snipe, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Ape had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Ape primly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," hinted Mister Snipe ruefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Ape gracefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," urged Mister Snipe defiantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the couch on his front porch, looking out over the mountainside and getting angry. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Ape. Do come again."

"Just a minute," observed Mrs. Ape sharply. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Snipe thought he had answered, and was beginning to get elderly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Ape doing these days?"

Mrs. Ape would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Snipe sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied mysteriously.