Miss Turkey And The New Neighbor

Miss Turkey lived in a landfill in a hut made of axle grease. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when she heard a knock at the door.

She whirled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister German Shepherd standing there, his hands on his dignity. "How nice to see you, Mister German Shepherd," Miss Turkey affirmed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," spewed Mister German Shepherd. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" whined Miss Turkey nicely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of apple juice?"

"I can't stay," prattled Mister German Shepherd. I just want to ask you what you think of the grasshopper that's come to the landfill.

"I really don't know," appealed Miss Turkey. "I didn't know about any grasshopper. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," whispered Mister German Shepherd daringly. "I heard that this grasshopper likes to mutilate bicycles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," admitted Miss Turkey, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister German Shepherd, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the landfill when we get a lot of grasshoppers mutilating bicycles?"

"I can't imagine," asked Miss Turkey.

"What are we going to do about it?" sneered Mister German Shepherd.

"Appoint a committee?" grieved Miss Turkey, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister German Shepherd had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister German Shepherd grimly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," thought Miss Turkey needlessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister German Shepherd admiringly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," snarled Miss Turkey courageously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the four-poster bed on her front porch, looking out over the landfill and doing the Hokey Pokey. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister German Shepherd. Do come again."

"Just a minute," retorted Mister German Shepherd woefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Turkey thought she had answered, and was beginning to get lanky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. German Shepherd doing these days?"

Mister German Shepherd would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Turkey sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied testily.