Miss Porcupine And The New Neighbor

Miss Porcupine lived in a marsh in an A-frame made of Spanish moss. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover refried beans, when she heard a knock at the door.

She crept to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Lizard standing there, his hands on his stomach. "How nice to see you, Mister Lizard," Miss Porcupine urged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," hummed Mister Lizard. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mentioned Miss Porcupine neatly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an old fashioned?"

"I can't stay," declared Mister Lizard. I just want to ask you what you think of the banana slug that's come to the marsh.

"I really don't know," commented Miss Porcupine. "I didn't know about any banana slug. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," pronounced Mister Lizard greedily. "I heard that this banana slug likes to shred flowerpots."

"Um, I don't know what to say," belched Miss Porcupine, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Lizard, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the marsh when we get a lot of banana slugs shredding flowerpots?"

"I can't imagine," belched Miss Porcupine.

"What are we going to do about it?" wept Mister Lizard.

"Appoint a committee?" harangued Miss Porcupine, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Lizard had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Lizard coldly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," declared Miss Porcupine cunningly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Lizard flightily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," asked Miss Porcupine reluctantly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the chair on her front porch, looking out over the marsh and clapping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Lizard. Do come again."

"Just a minute," spewed Mister Lizard madly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Porcupine thought she had answered, and was beginning to get cunning. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Lizard doing these days?"

Mister Lizard would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Porcupine sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied thankfully.