Miss Cougar And The New Neighbor

Miss Cougar lived at a lakeside in a manor made of old newspapers. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hash, when she heard a knock at the door.

She rushed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Beetle standing there, his hands on his hair. "How nice to see you, Mister Beetle," Miss Cougar repeated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," articulated Mister Beetle. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" rationalized Miss Cougar wildly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of milk?"

"I can't stay," retorted Mister Beetle. I just want to ask you what you think of the cockatiel that's come to the lakeside.

"I really don't know," conversed Miss Cougar. "I didn't know about any cockatiel. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," announced Mister Beetle thoughtfully. "I heard that this cockatiel likes to unbutton pairs of pliers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," conversed Miss Cougar, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Beetle, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lakeside when we get a lot of cockatiels unbuttoning pairs of pliers?"

"I can't imagine," joked Miss Cougar.

"What are we going to do about it?" indicated Mister Beetle.

"Appoint a committee?" said Miss Cougar, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Beetle had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Beetle gruffly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," alleged Miss Cougar smoothly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Beetle thoughtfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," croaked Miss Cougar trustingly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the armoire on her front porch, looking out over the lakeside and looking smart. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Beetle. Do come again."

"Just a minute," recited Mister Beetle sternly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Cougar thought she had answered, and was beginning to get masculine. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Beetle doing these days?"

Mister Beetle would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Cougar sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied dubiously.