Mister Newt And The New Neighbor

Mister Newt lived in a pasture in a log cabin made of nylon. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover refried beans, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Dromedary standing there, his hands on his claw. "How nice to see you, Mister Dromedary," Mister Newt spewed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," trumpeted Mister Dromedary. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" guessed Mister Newt needlessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bacardi?"

"I can't stay," judged Mister Dromedary. I just want to ask you what you think of the camel that's come to the pasture.

"I really don't know," squealed Mister Newt. "I didn't know about any camel. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," inquired Mister Dromedary sternly. "I heard that this camel likes to wallop bugles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," demanded Mister Newt, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Dromedary, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the pasture when we get a lot of camels walloping bugles?"

"I can't imagine," yammered Mister Newt.

"What are we going to do about it?" preached Mister Dromedary.

"Appoint a committee?" sobbed Mister Newt, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Dromedary had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Dromedary hopelessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," simpered Mister Newt grandly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Dromedary perkily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," winked Mister Newt steadily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the ping-pong table on his front porch, looking out over the pasture and yelping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Dromedary. Do come again."

"Just a minute," persisted Mister Dromedary anxiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Newt thought he had answered, and was beginning to get intrepid. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Dromedary doing these days?"

Mister Dromedary would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Newt sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied gleefully.