Mister Kangaroo And The New Neighbor

Mister Kangaroo lived in a pasture in a chalet made of beeswax. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover burritos, when he heard a knock at the door.

He swaggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Guinea pig standing there, her hands on her esophagus. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Guinea pig," Mister Kangaroo avowed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," rebutted Mrs. Guinea pig. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" provoked Mister Kangaroo warmly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a kamikaze?"

"I can't stay," comforted Mrs. Guinea pig. I just want to ask you what you think of the polar bear that's come to the pasture.

"I really don't know," imitated Mister Kangaroo. "I didn't know about any polar bear. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," stammered Mrs. Guinea pig strictly. "I heard that this polar bear likes to ruin kites."

"Um, I don't know what to say," argued Mister Kangaroo, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Guinea pig, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the pasture when we get a lot of polar bears ruining kites?"

"I can't imagine," swore Mister Kangaroo.

"What are we going to do about it?" indicated Mrs. Guinea pig.

"Appoint a committee?" grieved Mister Kangaroo, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Guinea pig had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Guinea pig unnaturally. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," conversed Mister Kangaroo thankfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Guinea pig urgently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," answered Mister Kangaroo menacingly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bunk bed on his front porch, looking out over the pasture and doodling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Guinea pig. Do come again."

"Just a minute," sneered Mrs. Guinea pig suavely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Kangaroo thought he had answered, and was beginning to get dumb. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Guinea pig doing these days?"

Mrs. Guinea pig would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Kangaroo sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied vacantly.