Mister Groundhog And The New Neighbor

Mister Groundhog lived on a moonscape in a closet made of cardboard. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover French fries, when he heard a knock at the door.

He swaggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Crow standing there, her hands on her tongue. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Crow," Mister Groundhog analyzed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yowled Mrs. Crow. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" shouted Mister Groundhog violently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a tequila sunrise?"

"I can't stay," judged Mrs. Crow. I just want to ask you what you think of the zebra that's come to the moonscape.

"I really don't know," pronounced Mister Groundhog. "I didn't know about any zebra. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," declaimed Mrs. Crow thankfully. "I heard that this zebra likes to kill fishing poles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," retorted Mister Groundhog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Crow, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the moonscape when we get a lot of zebras killing fishing poles?"

"I can't imagine," informed Mister Groundhog.

"What are we going to do about it?" alleged Mrs. Crow.

"Appoint a committee?" screamed Mister Groundhog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Crow had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Crow miserably. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," demanded Mister Groundhog intensely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Crow hungrily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," invited Mister Groundhog stealthily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the rug on his front porch, looking out over the moonscape and fainting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Crow. Do come again."

"Just a minute," griped Mrs. Crow oddly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Groundhog thought he had answered, and was beginning to get enraged. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Crow doing these days?"

Mrs. Crow would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Groundhog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied ferociously.