Miss Hawk And The New Neighbor

Miss Hawk lived at an oasis in a manor made of sod. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken chow mein, when she heard a knock at the door.

She waddled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Hermit crab standing there, his hands on his eyeball. "How nice to see you, Mister Hermit crab," Miss Hawk stated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," interrupted Mister Hermit crab. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" urged Miss Hawk unnaturally, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Seven and Seven?"

"I can't stay," chortled Mister Hermit crab. I just want to ask you what you think of the polecat that's come to the oasis.

"I really don't know," yammered Miss Hawk. "I didn't know about any polecat. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," hissed Mister Hermit crab immediately. "I heard that this polecat likes to unlock clothespins."

"Um, I don't know what to say," disputed Miss Hawk, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Hermit crab, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the oasis when we get a lot of polecats unlocking clothespins?"

"I can't imagine," urged Miss Hawk.

"What are we going to do about it?" sputtered Mister Hermit crab.

"Appoint a committee?" analyzed Miss Hawk, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Hermit crab had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Hermit crab woodenly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," boomed Miss Hawk deftly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Hermit crab grimly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," peeped Miss Hawk kindly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the washing machine on her front porch, looking out over the oasis and hanging around. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Hermit crab. Do come again."

"Just a minute," griped Mister Hermit crab fearfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Hawk thought she had answered, and was beginning to get young. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Hermit crab doing these days?"

Mister Hermit crab would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Hawk sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied nimbly.