Mister Falcon And The New Neighbor

Mister Falcon lived in a glen in a farmhouse made of plasma. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover wienerschnitzel, when he heard a knock at the door.

He scooted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Gila monster standing there, his hands on his vein. "How nice to see you, Mister Gila monster," Mister Falcon pleaded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," stammered Mister Gila monster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" smiled Mister Falcon reluctantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a can of Ensure?"

"I can't stay," bragged Mister Gila monster. I just want to ask you what you think of the anaconda that's come to the glen.

"I really don't know," whined Mister Falcon. "I didn't know about any anaconda. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," lectured Mister Gila monster boldly. "I heard that this anaconda likes to whack hot potatoes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," boomed Mister Falcon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Gila monster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the glen when we get a lot of anacondas whacking hot potatoes?"

"I can't imagine," insisted Mister Falcon.

"What are we going to do about it?" judged Mister Gila monster.

"Appoint a committee?" interrupted Mister Falcon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Gila monster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Gila monster narrowly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," reminded Mister Falcon smoothly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Gila monster cautiously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," breathed Mister Falcon demurely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the piano on his front porch, looking out over the glen and calming down. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Gila monster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," requested Mister Gila monster temperamentally. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Falcon thought he had answered, and was beginning to get mindless. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Gila monster doing these days?"

Mister Gila monster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Falcon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied ruefully.