Miss Bear And The New Neighbor

Miss Bear lived alongside a stream in a retreat made of nuts and bolts. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover country glazed ham, when she heard a knock at the door.

She hopped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Ass standing there, his hands on his toenail. "How nice to see you, Mister Ass," Miss Bear expressed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," blubbered Mister Ass. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" quavered Miss Bear suspiciously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Tom and Jerry?"

"I can't stay," snarled Mister Ass. I just want to ask you what you think of the baboon that's come to the stream.

"I really don't know," rationalized Miss Bear. "I didn't know about any baboon. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," implored Mister Ass clumsily. "I heard that this baboon likes to monitor oranges."

"Um, I don't know what to say," amended Miss Bear, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Ass, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the stream when we get a lot of baboons monitoring oranges?"

"I can't imagine," blurted Miss Bear.

"What are we going to do about it?" scoffed Mister Ass.

"Appoint a committee?" griped Miss Bear, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Ass had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Ass hungrily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," taunted Miss Bear blindly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Ass energetically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," remarked Miss Bear anxiously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the futon on her front porch, looking out over the stream and inhaling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Ass. Do come again."

"Just a minute," babbled Mister Ass awkwardly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Bear thought she had answered, and was beginning to get vivacious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Ass doing these days?"

Mister Ass would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Bear sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied thoughtfully.