Mister Elk And The New Neighbor

Mister Elk lived in a cave in a duplex made of linoleum. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover country glazed ham, when he heard a knock at the door.

He pranced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Goose standing there, her hands on her gut. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Goose," Mister Elk snarled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," acknowledged Mrs. Goose. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" informed Mister Elk properly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of water?"

"I can't stay," expressed Mrs. Goose. I just want to ask you what you think of the rattlesnake that's come to the cave.

"I really don't know," quavered Mister Elk. "I didn't know about any rattlesnake. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," concluded Mrs. Goose dubiously. "I heard that this rattlesnake likes to attack Barbie dolls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," breathed Mister Elk, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Goose, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cave when we get a lot of rattlesnakes attacking Barbie dolls?"

"I can't imagine," spat Mister Elk.

"What are we going to do about it?" complained Mrs. Goose.

"Appoint a committee?" yelped Mister Elk, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Goose had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Goose trustingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," remarked Mister Elk wildly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Goose courteously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," belched Mister Elk thoughtfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cushion on his front porch, looking out over the cave and watching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Goose. Do come again."

"Just a minute," spoke up Mrs. Goose urgently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Elk thought he had answered, and was beginning to get urbane. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Goose doing these days?"

Mrs. Goose would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Elk sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied obediently.