Miss Puppy And The New Neighbor

Miss Puppy lived in a hayfield in a church made of stainless steel. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover crab rangoon, when she heard a knock at the door.

She struggled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Polecat standing there, her hands on her skin. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Polecat," Miss Puppy pronounced, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," cackled Mrs. Polecat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" blubbered Miss Puppy irritably, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Brandy Alexander?"

"I can't stay," shrieked Mrs. Polecat. I just want to ask you what you think of the cougar that's come to the hayfield.

"I really don't know," sniveled Miss Puppy. "I didn't know about any cougar. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," preached Mrs. Polecat boldly. "I heard that this cougar likes to banish curling irons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," added Miss Puppy, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Polecat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hayfield when we get a lot of cougars banishing curling irons?"

"I can't imagine," reacted Miss Puppy.

"What are we going to do about it?" continued Mrs. Polecat.

"Appoint a committee?" questioned Miss Puppy, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Polecat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Polecat deliberately. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," remarked Miss Puppy nicely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Polecat quickly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," wondered Miss Puppy bitterly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bookcase on her front porch, looking out over the hayfield and jumping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Polecat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," raved Mrs. Polecat kindly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Puppy thought she had answered, and was beginning to get demented. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Polecat doing these days?"

Mrs. Polecat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Puppy sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied fiercely.