Mister Ferret And The New Neighbor

Mister Ferret lived in a bog in a ranch house made of stone. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pumpkin pie, when he heard a knock at the door.

He dashed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Sasquatch standing there, her hands on her larynx. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Sasquatch," Mister Ferret exploded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," phrased Mrs. Sasquatch. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" amended Mister Ferret blissfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cappuccino?"

"I can't stay," answered Mrs. Sasquatch. I just want to ask you what you think of the manticore that's come to the bog.

"I really don't know," snorted Mister Ferret. "I didn't know about any manticore. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sniped Mrs. Sasquatch automatically. "I heard that this manticore likes to observe chains."

"Um, I don't know what to say," winked Mister Ferret, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Sasquatch, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the bog when we get a lot of manticores observing chains?"

"I can't imagine," yowled Mister Ferret.

"What are we going to do about it?" vowed Mrs. Sasquatch.

"Appoint a committee?" implored Mister Ferret, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Sasquatch had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Sasquatch sweetly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," called Mister Ferret vacantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Sasquatch sweetly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," boomed Mister Ferret breathlessly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the piano on his front porch, looking out over the bog and hanging around. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Sasquatch. Do come again."

"Just a minute," peeped Mrs. Sasquatch confidently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ferret thought he had answered, and was beginning to get hirsute. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Sasquatch doing these days?"

Mrs. Sasquatch would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ferret sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied boldly.