Miss Jackal And The New Neighbor

Miss Jackal lived in a marsh in a chapel made of mud bricks. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover oyster on the half-shell, when she heard a knock at the door.

She capered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Iguana standing there, her hands on her face. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Iguana," Miss Jackal raved, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," inquired Mrs. Iguana. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" bragged Miss Jackal irritably, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Jack Daniel's?"

"I can't stay," explained Mrs. Iguana. I just want to ask you what you think of the buzzard that's come to the marsh.

"I really don't know," taunted Miss Jackal. "I didn't know about any buzzard. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," blustered Mrs. Iguana happily. "I heard that this buzzard likes to clean pop bottles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," chimed Miss Jackal, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Iguana, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the marsh when we get a lot of buzzards cleaning pop bottles?"

"I can't imagine," crooned Miss Jackal.

"What are we going to do about it?" guessed Mrs. Iguana.

"Appoint a committee?" preached Miss Jackal, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Iguana had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Iguana viciously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," chuckled Miss Jackal sweetly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Iguana calmly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," breathed Miss Jackal uselessly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the umbrella stand on her front porch, looking out over the marsh and blushing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Iguana. Do come again."

"Just a minute," cried Mrs. Iguana humbly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Jackal thought she had answered, and was beginning to get vile. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Iguana doing these days?"

Mrs. Iguana would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Jackal sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied accidentally.