Mister Lion And The New Neighbor

Mister Lion lived in a hayfield in a hotel made of glass. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ravioli, when he heard a knock at the door.

He made a beeline to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Boa constrictor standing there, her hands on her pride. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Boa constrictor," Mister Lion declaimed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," complained Mrs. Boa constrictor. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" wept Mister Lion strictly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of tequila?"

"I can't stay," yawned Mrs. Boa constrictor. I just want to ask you what you think of the fox that's come to the hayfield.

"I really don't know," squeaked Mister Lion. "I didn't know about any fox. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," urged Mrs. Boa constrictor craftily. "I heard that this fox likes to return doilies."

"Um, I don't know what to say," began Mister Lion, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Boa constrictor, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hayfield when we get a lot of foxes returning doilies?"

"I can't imagine," fumed Mister Lion.

"What are we going to do about it?" continued Mrs. Boa constrictor.

"Appoint a committee?" reminded Mister Lion, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Boa constrictor had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Boa constrictor sharply. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sniveled Mister Lion roughly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Boa constrictor merrily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sobbed Mister Lion clumsily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bar stool on his front porch, looking out over the hayfield and muttering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Boa constrictor. Do come again."

"Just a minute," suggested Mrs. Boa constrictor quietly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Lion thought he had answered, and was beginning to get obese. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Boa constrictor doing these days?"

Mrs. Boa constrictor would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Lion sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied gleefully.