Mister Dormouse And The New Neighbor

Mister Dormouse lived at a crime scene in a hovel made of plasma. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover oatmeal, when he heard a knock at the door.

He made a beeline to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Garter snake standing there, his hands on his pinky. "How nice to see you, Mister Garter snake," Mister Dormouse yelled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," vowed Mister Garter snake. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" comforted Mister Dormouse slyly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of tomato juice?"

"I can't stay," squawked Mister Garter snake. I just want to ask you what you think of the rooster that's come to the crime scene.

"I really don't know," disputed Mister Dormouse. "I didn't know about any rooster. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," debated Mister Garter snake glumly. "I heard that this rooster likes to unfasten paper towels."

"Um, I don't know what to say," enunciated Mister Dormouse, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Garter snake, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the crime scene when we get a lot of roosters unfastening paper towels?"

"I can't imagine," fumed Mister Dormouse.

"What are we going to do about it?" begged Mister Garter snake.

"Appoint a committee?" enunciated Mister Dormouse, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Garter snake had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Garter snake humbly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," inquired Mister Dormouse effortlessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Garter snake gleefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," bellowed Mister Dormouse daringly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the toilet on his front porch, looking out over the crime scene and rocking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Garter snake. Do come again."

"Just a minute," peeped Mister Garter snake solemnly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Dormouse thought he had answered, and was beginning to get prickly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Garter snake doing these days?"

Mister Garter snake would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Dormouse sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied confidently.