Miss Rattlesnake And The New Neighbor

Miss Rattlesnake lived on a grassy knoll in a chateau made of bones. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cherries jubilee, when she heard a knock at the door.

She struggled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Wallaby standing there, her hands on her thigh. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Wallaby," Miss Rattlesnake panted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sighed Mrs. Wallaby. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" blurted Miss Rattlesnake nervously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Jack Daniel's?"

"I can't stay," belched Mrs. Wallaby. I just want to ask you what you think of the ant that's come to the grassy knoll.

"I really don't know," clarified Miss Rattlesnake. "I didn't know about any ant. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," belched Mrs. Wallaby greedily. "I heard that this ant likes to forget cactus plants."

"Um, I don't know what to say," raved Miss Rattlesnake, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Wallaby, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassy knoll when we get a lot of ants forgetting cactus plants?"

"I can't imagine," chuckled Miss Rattlesnake.

"What are we going to do about it?" gabbed Mrs. Wallaby.

"Appoint a committee?" breathed Miss Rattlesnake, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Wallaby had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Wallaby tensely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," offered Miss Rattlesnake coolly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Wallaby frantically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," noted Miss Rattlesnake uselessly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the credenza on her front porch, looking out over the grassy knoll and freaking out. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Wallaby. Do come again."

"Just a minute," maintained Mrs. Wallaby suavely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Rattlesnake thought she had answered, and was beginning to get lethargic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Wallaby doing these days?"

Mrs. Wallaby would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Rattlesnake sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied strangely.