Mister Buffalo And The New Neighbor

Mister Buffalo lived in a briar patch in a palace made of mud. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast turkey, when he heard a knock at the door.

He walked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Honeybee standing there, his hands on his esophagus. "How nice to see you, Mister Honeybee," Mister Buffalo orated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," screeched Mister Honeybee. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" hissed Mister Buffalo neatly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a dose of cod liver oil?"

"I can't stay," protested Mister Honeybee. I just want to ask you what you think of the opossum that's come to the briar patch.

"I really don't know," conversed Mister Buffalo. "I didn't know about any opossum. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," growled Mister Honeybee gratefully. "I heard that this opossum likes to slam tennis rackets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," railed Mister Buffalo, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Honeybee, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the briar patch when we get a lot of opossums slamming tennis rackets?"

"I can't imagine," accused Mister Buffalo.

"What are we going to do about it?" shouted Mister Honeybee.

"Appoint a committee?" fantasized Mister Buffalo, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Honeybee had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Honeybee numbly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," explained Mister Buffalo furiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Honeybee grimly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," urged Mister Buffalo surreptitiously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the toilet on his front porch, looking out over the briar patch and blushing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Honeybee. Do come again."

"Just a minute," mentioned Mister Honeybee hopelessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Buffalo thought he had answered, and was beginning to get obedient. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Honeybee doing these days?"

Mister Honeybee would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Buffalo sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied wearily.