Mister Cat And The New Neighbor

Mister Cat lived at an oasis in a resort made of paper clips. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover burritos, when he heard a knock at the door.

He flounced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Ant standing there, her hands on her vein. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Ant," Mister Cat yawned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," screamed Mrs. Ant. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" rumored Mister Cat surreptitiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mudslide?"

"I can't stay," concluded Mrs. Ant. I just want to ask you what you think of the chicken that's come to the oasis.

"I really don't know," hollered Mister Cat. "I didn't know about any chicken. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yammered Mrs. Ant woefully. "I heard that this chicken likes to shred stopwatches."

"Um, I don't know what to say," brought up Mister Cat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Ant, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the oasis when we get a lot of chickens shredding stopwatches?"

"I can't imagine," pronounced Mister Cat.

"What are we going to do about it?" scoffed Mrs. Ant.

"Appoint a committee?" requested Mister Cat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Ant had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Ant obediently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," prattled Mister Cat wildly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Ant frenetically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," decided Mister Cat suavely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the armoire on his front porch, looking out over the oasis and coming back. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Ant. Do come again."

"Just a minute," hollered Mrs. Ant sarcastically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Cat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get decisive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Ant doing these days?"

Mrs. Ant would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Cat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied nicely.