Mister Alligator And The New Neighbor

Mister Alligator lived on a mountainside in a boxcar made of balsa. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover tofu, when he heard a knock at the door.

He flounced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Honeybee standing there, his hands on his scalp. "How nice to see you, Mister Honeybee," Mister Alligator avowed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," blustered Mister Honeybee. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" voiced Mister Alligator quickly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Dr. Pepper?"

"I can't stay," screeched Mister Honeybee. I just want to ask you what you think of the cocker spaniel that's come to the mountainside.

"I really don't know," yawned Mister Alligator. "I didn't know about any cocker spaniel. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yawned Mister Honeybee hopelessly. "I heard that this cocker spaniel likes to smear key rings."

"Um, I don't know what to say," observed Mister Alligator, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Honeybee, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountainside when we get a lot of cocker spaniels smearing key rings?"

"I can't imagine," yelled Mister Alligator.

"What are we going to do about it?" brought up Mister Honeybee.

"Appoint a committee?" wondered Mister Alligator, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Honeybee had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Honeybee briskly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," smirked Mister Alligator furiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Honeybee numbly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," quoted Mister Alligator valiantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bathtub on his front porch, looking out over the mountainside and swearing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Honeybee. Do come again."

"Just a minute," commented Mister Honeybee recklessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Alligator thought he had answered, and was beginning to get stinky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Honeybee doing these days?"

Mister Honeybee would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Alligator sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied nicely.