Miss Raccoon And The New Neighbor

Miss Raccoon lived on a grassy knoll in a flat made of straw bales. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lasagna, when she heard a knock at the door.

She slithered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Chameleon standing there, her hands on her claw. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Chameleon," Miss Raccoon interrupted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," joked Mrs. Chameleon. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" reasoned Miss Raccoon immediately, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a daiquiri?"

"I can't stay," jeered Mrs. Chameleon. I just want to ask you what you think of the grizzly bear that's come to the grassy knoll.

"I really don't know," breathed Miss Raccoon. "I didn't know about any grizzly bear. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," snorted Mrs. Chameleon vacantly. "I heard that this grizzly bear likes to consider bullets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," interrupted Miss Raccoon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Chameleon, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassy knoll when we get a lot of grizzly bears considering bullets?"

"I can't imagine," intoned Miss Raccoon.

"What are we going to do about it?" cackled Mrs. Chameleon.

"Appoint a committee?" snorted Miss Raccoon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Chameleon had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Chameleon mysteriously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," interrupted Miss Raccoon angrily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Chameleon trustingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," cried Miss Raccoon patiently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the washing machine on her front porch, looking out over the grassy knoll and collapsing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Chameleon. Do come again."

"Just a minute," asked Mrs. Chameleon properly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Raccoon thought she had answered, and was beginning to get gargantuan. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Chameleon doing these days?"

Mrs. Chameleon would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Raccoon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied vigorously.