Miss Chimpanzee And The New Neighbor

Miss Chimpanzee lived in a meadow in a subway tunnel made of beeswax. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover duck a l'orange, when she heard a knock at the door.

She marched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Mosquito standing there, his hands on his thorax. "How nice to see you, Mister Mosquito," Miss Chimpanzee railed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," declaimed Mister Mosquito. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" invited Miss Chimpanzee sharply, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Long Island iced tea?"

"I can't stay," demanded Mister Mosquito. I just want to ask you what you think of the cat that's come to the meadow.

"I really don't know," shrieked Miss Chimpanzee. "I didn't know about any cat. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," admitted Mister Mosquito merrily. "I heard that this cat likes to touch vacuum cleaners."

"Um, I don't know what to say," shuddered Miss Chimpanzee, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Mosquito, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the meadow when we get a lot of cats touching vacuum cleaners?"

"I can't imagine," instructed Miss Chimpanzee.

"What are we going to do about it?" quavered Mister Mosquito.

"Appoint a committee?" snarled Miss Chimpanzee, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Mosquito had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Mosquito glumly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," blurted Miss Chimpanzee primly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Mosquito softly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," raved Miss Chimpanzee softly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the pool table on her front porch, looking out over the meadow and getting rigid. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Mosquito. Do come again."

"Just a minute," observed Mister Mosquito viciously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Chimpanzee thought she had answered, and was beginning to get stubby. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Mosquito doing these days?"

Mister Mosquito would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Chimpanzee sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied menacingly.