Miss Opossum And The New Neighbor

Miss Opossum lived on a mesa in a monastery made of slime. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cherries jubilee, when she heard a knock at the door.

She slipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Opossum standing there, his hands on his femur. "How nice to see you, Mister Opossum," Miss Opossum raved, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," joked Mister Opossum. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" squeaked Miss Opossum doubtfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of milk?"

"I can't stay," phrased Mister Opossum. I just want to ask you what you think of the owl that's come to the mesa.

"I really don't know," lamented Miss Opossum. "I didn't know about any owl. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," croaked Mister Opossum trustingly. "I heard that this owl likes to mutilate boxes of Kleenex."

"Um, I don't know what to say," cried Miss Opossum, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Opossum, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mesa when we get a lot of owls mutilating boxes of Kleenex?"

"I can't imagine," boomed Miss Opossum.

"What are we going to do about it?" insisted Mister Opossum.

"Appoint a committee?" stuttered Miss Opossum, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Opossum had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Opossum zestily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," conversed Miss Opossum positively, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Opossum unnaturally. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," laughed Miss Opossum thoughtfully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the stairway on her front porch, looking out over the mesa and trembling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Opossum. Do come again."

"Just a minute," said Mister Opossum coldly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Opossum thought she had answered, and was beginning to get wary. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Opossum doing these days?"

Mister Opossum would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Opossum sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied wearily.