Miss Ape And The New Neighbor

Miss Ape lived on a mountain in a chalet made of platinum. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover tofu, when she heard a knock at the door.

She galloped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Orangutan standing there, her hands on her front tooth. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Orangutan," Miss Ape invited, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," rationalized Mrs. Orangutan. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" sobbed Miss Ape confidently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of iced tea?"

"I can't stay," appealed Mrs. Orangutan. I just want to ask you what you think of the Pekingese that's come to the mountain.

"I really don't know," muttered Miss Ape. "I didn't know about any Pekingese. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," avowed Mrs. Orangutan courageously. "I heard that this Pekingese likes to lynch coupons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," blurted Miss Ape, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Orangutan, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountain when we get a lot of Pekingeses lynching coupons?"

"I can't imagine," comforted Miss Ape.

"What are we going to do about it?" shrieked Mrs. Orangutan.

"Appoint a committee?" judged Miss Ape, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Orangutan had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Orangutan noisily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," rambled Miss Ape carefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Orangutan stupidly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," chattered Miss Ape boisterously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the beanbag chair on her front porch, looking out over the mountain and fantasizing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Orangutan. Do come again."

"Just a minute," wondered Mrs. Orangutan dubiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Ape thought she had answered, and was beginning to get miniscule. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Orangutan doing these days?"

Mrs. Orangutan would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Ape sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied peevishly.