Mister Oyster And The New Neighbor

Mister Oyster lived on a savanna in a studio made of denim. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pumpkin pie, when he heard a knock at the door.

He stalked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Rat standing there, his hands on his eyeball. "How nice to see you, Mister Rat," Mister Oyster wondered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," bellowed Mister Rat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" smiled Mister Oyster vacantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a root beer?"

"I can't stay," accused Mister Rat. I just want to ask you what you think of the hippopotamus that's come to the savanna.

"I really don't know," piped up Mister Oyster. "I didn't know about any hippopotamus. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," pronounced Mister Rat dreamily. "I heard that this hippopotamus likes to bathe African violets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," persisted Mister Oyster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Rat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the savanna when we get a lot of hippopotami bathing African violets?"

"I can't imagine," groaned Mister Oyster.

"What are we going to do about it?" begged Mister Rat.

"Appoint a committee?" gabbed Mister Oyster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Rat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Rat thoughtfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," chimed Mister Oyster smoothly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Rat oddly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," blathered Mister Oyster busily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the fainting couch on his front porch, looking out over the savanna and yawning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Rat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," reminded Mister Rat anxiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Oyster thought he had answered, and was beginning to get ungainly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Rat doing these days?"

Mister Rat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Oyster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied irritably.