Miss Hamster And The New Neighbor

Miss Hamster lived on a mountain in a yurt made of polyester. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken gumbo, when she heard a knock at the door.

She galumphed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Beetle standing there, her hands on her gut. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Beetle," Miss Hamster bawled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," hissed Mrs. Beetle. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" commented Miss Hamster slyly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Alka-Seltzer?"

"I can't stay," reasoned Mrs. Beetle. I just want to ask you what you think of the partridge that's come to the mountain.

"I really don't know," squeaked Miss Hamster. "I didn't know about any partridge. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," said Mrs. Beetle admiringly. "I heard that this partridge likes to shake brooms."

"Um, I don't know what to say," requested Miss Hamster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Beetle, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountain when we get a lot of partridges shaking brooms?"

"I can't imagine," groaned Miss Hamster.

"What are we going to do about it?" commented Mrs. Beetle.

"Appoint a committee?" said Miss Hamster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Beetle had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Beetle defiantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," answered Miss Hamster urgently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Beetle repeatedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," exploded Miss Hamster unexpectedly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bookcase on her front porch, looking out over the mountain and snickering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Beetle. Do come again."

"Just a minute," sighed Mrs. Beetle defiantly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Hamster thought she had answered, and was beginning to get calm. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Beetle doing these days?"

Mrs. Beetle would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Hamster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied arrogantly.