Mister Lizard And The New Neighbor

Mister Lizard lived in a buffalo wallow in a farmhouse made of linen. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when he heard a knock at the door.

He pranced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Macaque standing there, his hands on his gall bladder. "How nice to see you, Mister Macaque," Mister Lizard laughed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," affirmed Mister Macaque. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" cackled Mister Lizard courteously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of orange juice?"

"I can't stay," shuddered Mister Macaque. I just want to ask you what you think of the dingo that's come to the buffalo wallow.

"I really don't know," worried Mister Lizard. "I didn't know about any dingo. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," spewed Mister Macaque fervently. "I heard that this dingo likes to honor rubber stamps."

"Um, I don't know what to say," asserted Mister Lizard, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Macaque, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the buffalo wallow when we get a lot of dingoes honoring rubber stamps?"

"I can't imagine," commented Mister Lizard.

"What are we going to do about it?" divulged Mister Macaque.

"Appoint a committee?" exclaimed Mister Lizard, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Macaque had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Macaque hysterically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," repeated Mister Lizard repeatedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Macaque lamely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," brought up Mister Lizard stealthily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the rocking chair on his front porch, looking out over the buffalo wallow and quivering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Macaque. Do come again."

"Just a minute," hummed Mister Macaque positively. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Lizard thought he had answered, and was beginning to get frumpy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Macaque doing these days?"

Mister Macaque would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Lizard sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied numbly.