Miss Ape And The New Neighbor

Miss Ape lived on a battlefield in an A-frame made of muslin. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cotton candy, when she heard a knock at the door.

She skittered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Gerbil standing there, her hands on her head. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Gerbil," Miss Ape acknowledged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," gabbed Mrs. Gerbil. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" yammered Miss Ape woefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of water?"

"I can't stay," chortled Mrs. Gerbil. I just want to ask you what you think of the boar that's come to the battlefield.

"I really don't know," begged Miss Ape. "I didn't know about any boar. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," shrieked Mrs. Gerbil surreptitiously. "I heard that this boar likes to shove spiders."

"Um, I don't know what to say," swore Miss Ape, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Gerbil, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the battlefield when we get a lot of boars shoving spiders?"

"I can't imagine," asked Miss Ape.

"What are we going to do about it?" hissed Mrs. Gerbil.

"Appoint a committee?" asserted Miss Ape, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Gerbil had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Gerbil slowly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," professed Miss Ape immediately, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Gerbil suspiciously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," spoke up Miss Ape sorrowfully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the china hutch on her front porch, looking out over the battlefield and weeping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Gerbil. Do come again."

"Just a minute," professed Mrs. Gerbil suavely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Ape thought she had answered, and was beginning to get dreadful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Gerbil doing these days?"

Mrs. Gerbil would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Ape sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied properly.