Miss Garter Snake And The New Neighbor

Miss Garter snake lived in a bog in a Victorian mansion made of logs. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Cheerios, when she heard a knock at the door.

She hobbled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Boa constrictor standing there, his hands on his calf. "How nice to see you, Mister Boa constrictor," Miss Garter snake reacted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," shouted Mister Boa constrictor. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" indicated Miss Garter snake fondly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a grape soda?"

"I can't stay," judged Mister Boa constrictor. I just want to ask you what you think of the sasquatch that's come to the bog.

"I really don't know," observed Miss Garter snake. "I didn't know about any sasquatch. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," divulged Mister Boa constrictor grandly. "I heard that this sasquatch likes to open cans of sardines."

"Um, I don't know what to say," tittered Miss Garter snake, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Boa constrictor, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the bog when we get a lot of sasquatches opening cans of sardines?"

"I can't imagine," sighed Miss Garter snake.

"What are we going to do about it?" lamented Mister Boa constrictor.

"Appoint a committee?" chattered Miss Garter snake, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Boa constrictor had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Boa constrictor defiantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," rebutted Miss Garter snake fearfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Boa constrictor cleverly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," joked Miss Garter snake tearfully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the sofa on her front porch, looking out over the bog and jumping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Boa constrictor. Do come again."

"Just a minute," blubbered Mister Boa constrictor bravely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Garter snake thought she had answered, and was beginning to get boring. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Boa constrictor doing these days?"

Mister Boa constrictor would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Garter snake sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied roughly.