Mister Chameleon And The New Neighbor

Mister Chameleon lived in an outback in a crypt made of styrofoam. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hot dogs, when he heard a knock at the door.

He swaggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Hamster standing there, her hands on her piehole. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Hamster," Mister Chameleon judged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," imitated Mrs. Hamster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" blustered Mister Chameleon neatly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a root beer float?"

"I can't stay," hollered Mrs. Hamster. I just want to ask you what you think of the airedale that's come to the outback.

"I really don't know," exclaimed Mister Chameleon. "I didn't know about any airedale. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," questioned Mrs. Hamster boldly. "I heard that this airedale likes to cook doilies."

"Um, I don't know what to say," realized Mister Chameleon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Hamster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the outback when we get a lot of airedales cooking doilies?"

"I can't imagine," smirked Mister Chameleon.

"What are we going to do about it?" tittered Mrs. Hamster.

"Appoint a committee?" whispered Mister Chameleon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Hamster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Hamster softly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sniffed Mister Chameleon angrily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Hamster demurely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," chattered Mister Chameleon boisterously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the display case on his front porch, looking out over the outback and nodding. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Hamster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," grieved Mrs. Hamster bitterly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Chameleon thought he had answered, and was beginning to get intense. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Hamster doing these days?"

Mrs. Hamster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Chameleon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied positively.