Mister Jackal And The New Neighbor

Mister Jackal lived in a field in a brownstone made of plutonium. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover beef bouillon, when he heard a knock at the door.

He stalked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Boar standing there, her hands on her finger. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Boar," Mister Jackal protested, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," indicated Mrs. Boar. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" chuckled Mister Jackal blindly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a whiskey sour?"

"I can't stay," declaimed Mrs. Boar. I just want to ask you what you think of the Doberman that's come to the field.

"I really don't know," winked Mister Jackal. "I didn't know about any Doberman. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," fantasized Mrs. Boar majestically. "I heard that this Doberman likes to inspect bird cages."

"Um, I don't know what to say," disputed Mister Jackal, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Boar, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the field when we get a lot of Dobermans inspecting bird cages?"

"I can't imagine," disputed Mister Jackal.

"What are we going to do about it?" muttered Mrs. Boar.

"Appoint a committee?" yowled Mister Jackal, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Boar had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Boar sorrowfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," revealed Mister Jackal admiringly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Boar softly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," trumpeted Mister Jackal doubtfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the recliner on his front porch, looking out over the field and waking up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Boar. Do come again."

"Just a minute," professed Mrs. Boar fondly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Jackal thought he had answered, and was beginning to get comely. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Boar doing these days?"

Mrs. Boar would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Jackal sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied carefully.