Mister Anteater And The New Neighbor

Mister Anteater lived at a crime scene in a teepee made of old bottles. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover falafel, when he heard a knock at the door.

He darted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Reindeer standing there, his hands on his bladder. "How nice to see you, Mister Reindeer," Mister Anteater lamented, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," blubbered Mister Reindeer. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" howled Mister Anteater shyly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot buttered rum?"

"I can't stay," simpered Mister Reindeer. I just want to ask you what you think of the manatee that's come to the crime scene.

"I really don't know," tittered Mister Anteater. "I didn't know about any manatee. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," fumed Mister Reindeer victoriously. "I heard that this manatee likes to push clarinets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," offered Mister Anteater, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Reindeer, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the crime scene when we get a lot of manatees pushing clarinets?"

"I can't imagine," murmured Mister Anteater.

"What are we going to do about it?" sputtered Mister Reindeer.

"Appoint a committee?" screamed Mister Anteater, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Reindeer had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Reindeer automatically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," wailed Mister Anteater speedily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Reindeer sourly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," grieved Mister Anteater pityingly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the hamper on his front porch, looking out over the crime scene and doing the Hokey Pokey. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Reindeer. Do come again."

"Just a minute," appealed Mister Reindeer woodenly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Anteater thought he had answered, and was beginning to get rapacious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Reindeer doing these days?"

Mister Reindeer would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Anteater sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied positively.