Miss Falcon And The New Neighbor

Miss Falcon lived on a butte in a closet made of fiber. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover wienerschnitzel, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sashayed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Guinea pig standing there, his hands on his carotid artery. "How nice to see you, Mister Guinea pig," Miss Falcon bellowed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," debated Mister Guinea pig. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" exclaimed Miss Falcon greedily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin and tonic?"

"I can't stay," chortled Mister Guinea pig. I just want to ask you what you think of the seal that's come to the butte.

"I really don't know," offered Miss Falcon. "I didn't know about any seal. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," lectured Mister Guinea pig thankfully. "I heard that this seal likes to rebuild stopwatches."

"Um, I don't know what to say," tittered Miss Falcon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Guinea pig, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the butte when we get a lot of seals rebuilding stopwatches?"

"I can't imagine," recited Miss Falcon.

"What are we going to do about it?" enunciated Mister Guinea pig.

"Appoint a committee?" laughed Miss Falcon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Guinea pig had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Guinea pig curiously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," reminded Miss Falcon blindly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Guinea pig repeatedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," thought Miss Falcon fervently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the TV on her front porch, looking out over the butte and dying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Guinea pig. Do come again."

"Just a minute," informed Mister Guinea pig firmly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Falcon thought she had answered, and was beginning to get crafty. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Guinea pig doing these days?"

Mister Guinea pig would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Falcon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied sadly.