Miss Lark And The New Neighbor

Miss Lark lived on a mountain in a church made of titanium. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover potatoes and gravy, when she heard a knock at the door.

She traipsed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Ostrich standing there, his hands on his thyroid gland. "How nice to see you, Mister Ostrich," Miss Lark joked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," nattered Mister Ostrich. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mentioned Miss Lark anxiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a latte?"

"I can't stay," revealed Mister Ostrich. I just want to ask you what you think of the gnu that's come to the mountain.

"I really don't know," bellowed Miss Lark. "I didn't know about any gnu. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," squealed Mister Ostrich sadly. "I heard that this gnu likes to push candles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," instructed Miss Lark, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Ostrich, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountain when we get a lot of gnus pushing candles?"

"I can't imagine," muttered Miss Lark.

"What are we going to do about it?" bawled Mister Ostrich.

"Appoint a committee?" questioned Miss Lark, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Ostrich had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Ostrich solemnly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," stuttered Miss Lark frantically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Ostrich warmly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," realized Miss Lark tenderly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bunk bed on her front porch, looking out over the mountain and growing up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Ostrich. Do come again."

"Just a minute," suggested Mister Ostrich daringly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Lark thought she had answered, and was beginning to get bald. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Ostrich doing these days?"

Mister Ostrich would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Lark sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied nicely.