Miss Goblin And The New Neighbor

Miss Goblin lived in a briar patch in a homeless shelter made of fiberglass. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Hamburger Helper, when she heard a knock at the door.

She ambled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Mustang standing there, her hands on her intestine. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Mustang," Miss Goblin yawned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," complained Mrs. Mustang. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" quoted Miss Goblin sourly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mojito?"

"I can't stay," responded Mrs. Mustang. I just want to ask you what you think of the ring-tailed lemur that's come to the briar patch.

"I really don't know," proposed Miss Goblin. "I didn't know about any ring-tailed lemur. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," quoted Mrs. Mustang zestily. "I heard that this ring-tailed lemur likes to shake duffel bags."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sighed Miss Goblin, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Mustang, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the briar patch when we get a lot of ring-tailed lemurs shaking duffel bags?"

"I can't imagine," provoked Miss Goblin.

"What are we going to do about it?" argued Mrs. Mustang.

"Appoint a committee?" remarked Miss Goblin, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Mustang had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Mustang coolly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," quoted Miss Goblin cruelly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Mustang energetically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," blubbered Miss Goblin charmingly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the coat rack on her front porch, looking out over the briar patch and meditating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Mustang. Do come again."

"Just a minute," shuddered Mrs. Mustang sagely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Goblin thought she had answered, and was beginning to get blubbery. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Mustang doing these days?"

Mrs. Mustang would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Goblin sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied ferociously.