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Mister Ox And The New Neighbor


Mister Ox lived on the mountain in a parkbench made of polystyrene. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover refried beans, when he heard a knock at the door.

He barrelled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.


He was surprised to see Mister Robot standing there, his hands on his belly. "How nice to see you, Mister Robot," Mister Ox growled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," articulated Mister Robot. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" winked Mister Ox madly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Seven and Seven?"

"I can't stay," opined Mister Robot. I just want to ask you what you think of the puma that's come to the mountain.


"I really don't know," spouted Mister Ox. "I didn't know about any puma. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sneered Mister Robot woefully. "I heard that this puma likes to sand canes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," orated Mister Ox, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Robot, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountain when we get a lot of pumas sanding canes?"

"I can't imagine," analyzed Mister Ox.

"What are we going to do about it?" giggled Mister Robot.

"Appoint a committee?" thought Mister Ox, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Robot had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Robot shyly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sniveled Mister Ox shyly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Robot perkily. "You always have such good ideas."


"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," bragged Mister Ox reluctantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the crib on his front porch, looking out over the mountain and clearing out. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Robot. Do come again."

"Just a minute," uttered Mister Robot fervently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ox thought he had answered, and was beginning to get eccentric. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Robot doing these days?"

Mister Robot would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ox sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied boisterously.