Mister Lovebird And The New Neighbor

Mister Lovebird lived at a crime scene in a skyscraper made of taffy. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Froot Loops, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slumped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Cockatiel standing there, his hands on his brain. "How nice to see you, Mister Cockatiel," Mister Lovebird exclaimed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," barked Mister Cockatiel. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" squealed Mister Lovebird bitterly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Pepto Bismol?"

"I can't stay," pointed out Mister Cockatiel. I just want to ask you what you think of the mountain goat that's come to the crime scene.

"I really don't know," lamented Mister Lovebird. "I didn't know about any mountain goat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," indicated Mister Cockatiel clumsily. "I heard that this mountain goat likes to vacuum charts."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sniped Mister Lovebird, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cockatiel, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the crime scene when we get a lot of mountain goats vacuuming charts?"

"I can't imagine," sneered Mister Lovebird.

"What are we going to do about it?" affirmed Mister Cockatiel.

"Appoint a committee?" asserted Mister Lovebird, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cockatiel had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cockatiel flightily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," clarified Mister Lovebird elatedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cockatiel immediately. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," scoffed Mister Lovebird automatically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the pedestal on his front porch, looking out over the crime scene and preaching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cockatiel. Do come again."

"Just a minute," tittered Mister Cockatiel kindly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Lovebird thought he had answered, and was beginning to get unselfish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cockatiel doing these days?"

Mister Cockatiel would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Lovebird sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied glibly.