Miss Badger And The New Neighbor

Miss Badger lived in a landfill in a homeless shelter made of rammed earth. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover beans, when she heard a knock at the door.

She crept to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Lemur standing there, his hands on his jaw. "How nice to see you, Mister Lemur," Miss Badger cajoled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," lectured Mister Lemur. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" explained Miss Badger strangely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot chocolate?"

"I can't stay," expressed Mister Lemur. I just want to ask you what you think of the parrot that's come to the landfill.

"I really don't know," vouched Miss Badger. "I didn't know about any parrot. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chattered Mister Lemur lightly. "I heard that this parrot likes to destroy stuffed owls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," lectured Miss Badger, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Lemur, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the landfill when we get a lot of parrots destroying stuffed owls?"

"I can't imagine," belched Miss Badger.

"What are we going to do about it?" answered Mister Lemur.

"Appoint a committee?" judged Miss Badger, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Lemur had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Lemur stealthily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," wondered Miss Badger daintily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Lemur properly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," indicated Miss Badger oddly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the footstool on her front porch, looking out over the landfill and twitching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Lemur. Do come again."

"Just a minute," smiled Mister Lemur happily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Badger thought she had answered, and was beginning to get moody. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Lemur doing these days?"

Mister Lemur would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Badger sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied coldly.