Mister Louse And The New Neighbor

Mister Louse lived on a trail in a nunnery made of Spanish moss. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cherries jubilee, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tumbled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Turkey standing there, his hands on his elbow. "How nice to see you, Mister Turkey," Mister Louse panted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," lectured Mister Turkey. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" yawned Mister Louse vacantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a margarita?"

"I can't stay," yelped Mister Turkey. I just want to ask you what you think of the lynx that's come to the trail.

"I really don't know," screamed Mister Louse. "I didn't know about any lynx. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," invited Mister Turkey again. "I heard that this lynx likes to enclose bottles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," babbled Mister Louse, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Turkey, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the trail when we get a lot of lynxes enclosing bottles?"

"I can't imagine," invited Mister Louse.

"What are we going to do about it?" croaked Mister Turkey.

"Appoint a committee?" intoned Mister Louse, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Turkey had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Turkey hungrily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," clarified Mister Louse clumsily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Turkey woefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yawned Mister Louse quietly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the counter on his front porch, looking out over the trail and gazing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Turkey. Do come again."

"Just a minute," spat Mister Turkey cheerfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Louse thought he had answered, and was beginning to get somber. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Turkey doing these days?"

Mister Turkey would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Louse sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied suddenly.