Mister Chimpanzee And The New Neighbor

Mister Chimpanzee lived in a park in a wigwam made of oil and water. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prune pudding, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sprinted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Airedale standing there, her hands on her paw. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Airedale," Mister Chimpanzee offered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," swore Mrs. Airedale. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" shouted Mister Chimpanzee elatedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Dr. Pepper?"

"I can't stay," whimpered Mrs. Airedale. I just want to ask you what you think of the iguana that's come to the park.

"I really don't know," conversed Mister Chimpanzee. "I didn't know about any iguana. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," debated Mrs. Airedale demurely. "I heard that this iguana likes to shellac rolls of toilet paper."

"Um, I don't know what to say," contended Mister Chimpanzee, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Airedale, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the park when we get a lot of iguanas shellacking rolls of toilet paper?"

"I can't imagine," bellowed Mister Chimpanzee.

"What are we going to do about it?" vouched Mrs. Airedale.

"Appoint a committee?" judged Mister Chimpanzee, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Airedale had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Airedale sheepishly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sighed Mister Chimpanzee boisterously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Airedale viciously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," murmured Mister Chimpanzee daintily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the nightstand on his front porch, looking out over the park and backing down. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Airedale. Do come again."

"Just a minute," chimed Mrs. Airedale peevishly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Chimpanzee thought he had answered, and was beginning to get beautiful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Airedale doing these days?"

Mrs. Airedale would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Chimpanzee sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied slowly.