Mister Reindeer And The New Neighbor

Mister Reindeer lived in a country meadow in a motor home made of carbon fiber. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover macaroni and cheese, when he heard a knock at the door.

He loped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Horsie standing there, her hands on her beard. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Horsie," Mister Reindeer crooned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," admitted Mrs. Horsie. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" swore Mister Reindeer hungrily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a whiskey?"

"I can't stay," stated Mrs. Horsie. I just want to ask you what you think of the orangutan that's come to the country meadow.

"I really don't know," mentioned Mister Reindeer. "I didn't know about any orangutan. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," pronounced Mrs. Horsie truculently. "I heard that this orangutan likes to shoot whistles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," rumored Mister Reindeer, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Horsie, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the country meadow when we get a lot of orangutans shooting whistles?"

"I can't imagine," cackled Mister Reindeer.

"What are we going to do about it?" retorted Mrs. Horsie.

"Appoint a committee?" giggled Mister Reindeer, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Horsie had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Horsie gruffly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," demanded Mister Reindeer joyously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Horsie testily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," declared Mister Reindeer admiringly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the dining table on his front porch, looking out over the country meadow and fretting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Horsie. Do come again."

"Just a minute," declaimed Mrs. Horsie coolly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Reindeer thought he had answered, and was beginning to get fiendish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Horsie doing these days?"

Mrs. Horsie would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Reindeer sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied woefully.