Mister Shark And The New Neighbor

Mister Shark lived in a landfill in a quonset hut made of tiles. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover crumb cake, when he heard a knock at the door.

He hopped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Bird standing there, her hands on her rib. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Bird," Mister Shark hollered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," fretted Mrs. Bird. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" simpered Mister Shark humbly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a milkshake?"

"I can't stay," suggested Mrs. Bird. I just want to ask you what you think of the Norway rat that's come to the landfill.

"I really don't know," persisted Mister Shark. "I didn't know about any Norway rat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," responded Mrs. Bird boldly. "I heard that this Norway rat likes to open barbells."

"Um, I don't know what to say," squealed Mister Shark, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Bird, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the landfill when we get a lot of Norway rats opening barbells?"

"I can't imagine," warbled Mister Shark.

"What are we going to do about it?" pronounced Mrs. Bird.

"Appoint a committee?" giggled Mister Shark, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Bird had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Bird oddly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," concluded Mister Shark daintily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Bird craftily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," repeated Mister Shark uselessly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cushion on his front porch, looking out over the landfill and fretting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Bird. Do come again."

"Just a minute," croaked Mrs. Bird again. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Shark thought he had answered, and was beginning to get stylish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Bird doing these days?"

Mrs. Bird would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Shark sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied repeatedly.