Mister Monster And The New Neighbor

Mister Monster lived in a gully in a mud hut made of plaster of Paris. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cornbread, when he heard a knock at the door.

He marched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Louse standing there, her hands on her ear. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Louse," Mister Monster shuddered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," babbled Mrs. Louse. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" blathered Mister Monster happily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a fruit smoothie?"

"I can't stay," analyzed Mrs. Louse. I just want to ask you what you think of the mustang that's come to the gully.

"I really don't know," professed Mister Monster. "I didn't know about any mustang. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," maintained Mrs. Louse boisterously. "I heard that this mustang likes to smear garden hoses."

"Um, I don't know what to say," complained Mister Monster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Louse, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the gully when we get a lot of mustangs smearing garden hoses?"

"I can't imagine," warbled Mister Monster.

"What are we going to do about it?" chuckled Mrs. Louse.

"Appoint a committee?" alleged Mister Monster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Louse had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Louse fervently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spouted Mister Monster numbly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Louse steadily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," squealed Mister Monster crazily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the chair on his front porch, looking out over the gully and backing up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Louse. Do come again."

"Just a minute," uttered Mrs. Louse sarcastically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Monster thought he had answered, and was beginning to get fascinating. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Louse doing these days?"

Mrs. Louse would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Monster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied brashly.