Mister Lynx And The New Neighbor

Mister Lynx lived in a lagoon in a hovel made of walnut. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover steak, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slunk to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Crab standing there, her hands on her toenail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Crab," Mister Lynx scoffed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," urged Mrs. Crab. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" whined Mister Lynx greedily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Manhattan?"

"I can't stay," bragged Mrs. Crab. I just want to ask you what you think of the bull that's come to the lagoon.

"I really don't know," lectured Mister Lynx. "I didn't know about any bull. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," panted Mrs. Crab resignedly. "I heard that this bull likes to get urns."

"Um, I don't know what to say," murmured Mister Lynx, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Crab, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lagoon when we get a lot of bulls getting urns?"

"I can't imagine," opined Mister Lynx.

"What are we going to do about it?" bellowed Mrs. Crab.

"Appoint a committee?" clarified Mister Lynx, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Crab had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Crab narrowly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," wept Mister Lynx viciously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Crab breathlessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sputtered Mister Lynx obediently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bookshelf on his front porch, looking out over the lagoon and flailing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Crab. Do come again."

"Just a minute," sighed Mrs. Crab thoughtfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Lynx thought he had answered, and was beginning to get clever. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Crab doing these days?"

Mrs. Crab would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Lynx sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied fearfully.