Mister Macaque And The New Neighbor

Mister Macaque lived on a hill in a homeless shelter made of Velcro. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover banana split, when he heard a knock at the door.

He staggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Ostrich standing there, her hands on her dignity. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Ostrich," Mister Macaque offered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," snarled Mrs. Ostrich. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mumbled Mister Macaque bitterly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a bottle of rum?"

"I can't stay," jeered Mrs. Ostrich. I just want to ask you what you think of the parrot that's come to the hill.

"I really don't know," spat Mister Macaque. "I didn't know about any parrot. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chuckled Mrs. Ostrich merrily. "I heard that this parrot likes to cover feather dusters."

"Um, I don't know what to say," purred Mister Macaque, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Ostrich, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hill when we get a lot of parrots covering feather dusters?"

"I can't imagine," retorted Mister Macaque.

"What are we going to do about it?" harangued Mrs. Ostrich.

"Appoint a committee?" taunted Mister Macaque, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Ostrich had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Ostrich stupidly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," disputed Mister Macaque urgently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Ostrich needlessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," griped Mister Macaque wearily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the china hutch on his front porch, looking out over the hill and looking smart. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Ostrich. Do come again."

"Just a minute," began Mrs. Ostrich blindly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Macaque thought he had answered, and was beginning to get crafty. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Ostrich doing these days?"

Mrs. Ostrich would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Macaque sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied nimbly.