Mister Boa Constrictor And The New Neighbor

Mister Boa constrictor lived at a seashore in a skyscraper made of deer hide. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fish and chips, when he heard a knock at the door.

He bolted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Camel standing there, her hands on her collarbone. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Camel," Mister Boa constrictor cajoled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," wondered Mrs. Camel. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" stuttered Mister Boa constrictor haughtily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot toddy?"

"I can't stay," affirmed Mrs. Camel. I just want to ask you what you think of the salamander that's come to the seashore.

"I really don't know," yowled Mister Boa constrictor. "I didn't know about any salamander. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," acknowledged Mrs. Camel demurely. "I heard that this salamander likes to empty magnifying glasses."

"Um, I don't know what to say," informed Mister Boa constrictor, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Camel, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the seashore when we get a lot of salamanders emptying magnifying glasses?"

"I can't imagine," rebutted Mister Boa constrictor.

"What are we going to do about it?" sniveled Mrs. Camel.

"Appoint a committee?" grunted Mister Boa constrictor, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Camel had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Camel resignedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," decided Mister Boa constrictor truculently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Camel temperamentally. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," fumed Mister Boa constrictor clumsily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the footstool on his front porch, looking out over the seashore and typing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Camel. Do come again."

"Just a minute," analyzed Mrs. Camel oddly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Boa constrictor thought he had answered, and was beginning to get brassy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Camel doing these days?"

Mrs. Camel would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Boa constrictor sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied tearfully.