Miss Warthog And The New Neighbor

Miss Warthog lived on a plateau in a geodesic dome made of marble. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hamburgers, when she heard a knock at the door.

She capered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Wolverine standing there, his hands on his thyroid gland. "How nice to see you, Mister Wolverine," Miss Warthog spoke up, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," proposed Mister Wolverine. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" implored Miss Warthog lickety-split, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a bottle of water?"

"I can't stay," invited Mister Wolverine. I just want to ask you what you think of the horse that's come to the plateau.

"I really don't know," groaned Miss Warthog. "I didn't know about any horse. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," tittered Mister Wolverine reluctantly. "I heard that this horse likes to squash clocks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," asserted Miss Warthog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Wolverine, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plateau when we get a lot of horses squashing clocks?"

"I can't imagine," nattered Miss Warthog.

"What are we going to do about it?" yammered Mister Wolverine.

"Appoint a committee?" blathered Miss Warthog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Wolverine had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Wolverine cunningly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," gabbed Miss Warthog numbly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Wolverine ferociously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," agreed Miss Warthog greedily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the wine rack on her front porch, looking out over the plateau and chanting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Wolverine. Do come again."

"Just a minute," roared Mister Wolverine boldly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Warthog thought she had answered, and was beginning to get poised. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Wolverine doing these days?"

Mister Wolverine would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Warthog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied warily.