Miss Manatee And The New Neighbor

Miss Manatee lived on a wasteland in a trough made of Formica. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover borscht, when she heard a knock at the door.

She scampered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Elk standing there, her hands on her hairdo. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Elk," Miss Manatee groaned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," belched Mrs. Elk. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" protested Miss Manatee hopefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Pepto Bismol?"

"I can't stay," fumed Mrs. Elk. I just want to ask you what you think of the turkey that's come to the wasteland.

"I really don't know," recited Miss Manatee. "I didn't know about any turkey. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," expressed Mrs. Elk woodenly. "I heard that this turkey likes to replace African violets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," fantasized Miss Manatee, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Elk, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the wasteland when we get a lot of turkeys replacing African violets?"

"I can't imagine," mused Miss Manatee.

"What are we going to do about it?" queried Mrs. Elk.

"Appoint a committee?" wept Miss Manatee, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Elk had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Elk grandly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," screeched Miss Manatee clumsily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Elk nonchalantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," shuddered Miss Manatee needlessly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the water bed on her front porch, looking out over the wasteland and swooning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Elk. Do come again."

"Just a minute," pointed out Mrs. Elk patiently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Manatee thought she had answered, and was beginning to get cowardly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Elk doing these days?"

Mrs. Elk would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Manatee sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied brashly.