Miss Bird And The New Neighbor

Miss Bird lived in a field in a park bench made of old rags. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chocolate-covered ants, when she heard a knock at the door.

She swaggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Bear standing there, her hands on her wrist. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Bear," Miss Bird shouted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," cried Mrs. Bear. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" swore Miss Bird coldly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Sangría?"

"I can't stay," mumbled Mrs. Bear. I just want to ask you what you think of the salamander that's come to the field.

"I really don't know," remarked Miss Bird. "I didn't know about any salamander. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," noted Mrs. Bear lovingly. "I heard that this salamander likes to grapple brushes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," gasped Miss Bird, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Bear, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the field when we get a lot of salamanders grappling brushes?"

"I can't imagine," analyzed Miss Bird.

"What are we going to do about it?" sniveled Mrs. Bear.

"Appoint a committee?" explained Miss Bird, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Bear had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Bear speedily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," jeered Miss Bird immediately, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Bear reluctantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," croaked Miss Bird cruelly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the stairway on her front porch, looking out over the field and kneeling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Bear. Do come again."

"Just a minute," shuddered Mrs. Bear recklessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Bird thought she had answered, and was beginning to get conscientious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Bear doing these days?"

Mrs. Bear would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Bird sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied grandly.