Miss Rattlesnake And The New Neighbor

Miss Rattlesnake lived in a landfill in a parsonage made of wax. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover macaroni and cheese, when she heard a knock at the door.

She strode to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Mountain goat standing there, his hands on his tooth. "How nice to see you, Mister Mountain goat," Miss Rattlesnake gabbed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," raved Mister Mountain goat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" prattled Miss Rattlesnake miserably, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a 7-Up?"

"I can't stay," wailed Mister Mountain goat. I just want to ask you what you think of the horse that's come to the landfill.

"I really don't know," piped up Miss Rattlesnake. "I didn't know about any horse. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," snorted Mister Mountain goat lazily. "I heard that this horse likes to forget bags of ice."

"Um, I don't know what to say," questioned Miss Rattlesnake, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Mountain goat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the landfill when we get a lot of horses forgetting bags of ice?"

"I can't imagine," bellowed Miss Rattlesnake.

"What are we going to do about it?" mouthed Mister Mountain goat.

"Appoint a committee?" interrupted Miss Rattlesnake, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Mountain goat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Mountain goat recklessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," quavered Miss Rattlesnake frenetically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Mountain goat later. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," rambled Miss Rattlesnake dolefully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bath mat on her front porch, looking out over the landfill and playing Duck Duck Goose. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Mountain goat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," alleged Mister Mountain goat angrily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Rattlesnake thought she had answered, and was beginning to get cocky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Mountain goat doing these days?"

Mister Mountain goat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Rattlesnake sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied diligently.