Mister Colt And The New Neighbor

Mister Colt lived in a marsh in a motor home made of cards. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mulligan stew, when he heard a knock at the door.

He stormed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Grasshopper standing there, her hands on her horn. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Grasshopper," Mister Colt wept, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," clarified Mrs. Grasshopper. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" panted Mister Colt threateningly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a mint julep?"

"I can't stay," said Mrs. Grasshopper. I just want to ask you what you think of the owl that's come to the marsh.

"I really don't know," orated Mister Colt. "I didn't know about any owl. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yelled Mrs. Grasshopper tearfully. "I heard that this owl likes to seize baseballs."

"Um, I don't know what to say," emphasized Mister Colt, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Grasshopper, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the marsh when we get a lot of owls seizing baseballs?"

"I can't imagine," breathed Mister Colt.

"What are we going to do about it?" preached Mrs. Grasshopper.

"Appoint a committee?" questioned Mister Colt, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Grasshopper had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Grasshopper tearfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," growled Mister Colt angrily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Grasshopper nervously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," spouted Mister Colt automatically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the pillow on his front porch, looking out over the marsh and catching up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Grasshopper. Do come again."

"Just a minute," responded Mrs. Grasshopper gingerly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Colt thought he had answered, and was beginning to get spunky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Grasshopper doing these days?"

Mrs. Grasshopper would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Colt sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied valiantly.