Mister Swan And The New Neighbor

Mister Swan lived in a pasture in a stinky shack made of rolled oats. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover apple pie, when he heard a knock at the door.

He stalked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Crocodile standing there, his hands on his adrenal gland. "How nice to see you, Mister Crocodile," Mister Swan persisted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," complained Mister Crocodile. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" panted Mister Swan ferociously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

"I can't stay," complained Mister Crocodile. I just want to ask you what you think of the finch that's come to the pasture.

"I really don't know," rebutted Mister Swan. "I didn't know about any finch. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," bawled Mister Crocodile solemnly. "I heard that this finch likes to decontaminate crutches."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sputtered Mister Swan, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Crocodile, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the pasture when we get a lot of finches decontaminating crutches?"

"I can't imagine," exclaimed Mister Swan.

"What are we going to do about it?" intimated Mister Crocodile.

"Appoint a committee?" thought Mister Swan, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Crocodile had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Crocodile effortlessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," yawned Mister Swan coolly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Crocodile admiringly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," railed Mister Swan recklessly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the mattress on his front porch, looking out over the pasture and suffering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Crocodile. Do come again."

"Just a minute," joked Mister Crocodile narrowly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Swan thought he had answered, and was beginning to get witty. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Crocodile doing these days?"

Mister Crocodile would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Swan sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied testily.