Mister Turtle And The New Neighbor

Mister Turtle lived in a bog in a cottage made of silver. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Froot Loops, when he heard a knock at the door.

He trotted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Musk-ox standing there, her hands on her skull. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Musk-ox," Mister Turtle swore, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," piped up Mrs. Musk-ox. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" hissed Mister Turtle peevishly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Harvey Wallbanger?"

"I can't stay," judged Mrs. Musk-ox. I just want to ask you what you think of the chameleon that's come to the bog.

"I really don't know," boasted Mister Turtle. "I didn't know about any chameleon. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," concluded Mrs. Musk-ox blindly. "I heard that this chameleon likes to reinforce Frisbees."

"Um, I don't know what to say," mused Mister Turtle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Musk-ox, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the bog when we get a lot of chameleons reinforcing Frisbees?"

"I can't imagine," winked Mister Turtle.

"What are we going to do about it?" spewed Mrs. Musk-ox.

"Appoint a committee?" laughed Mister Turtle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Musk-ox had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Musk-ox wearily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," blustered Mister Turtle defiantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Musk-ox timidly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," explained Mister Turtle narrowly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the billiard table on his front porch, looking out over the bog and swallowing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Musk-ox. Do come again."

"Just a minute," pointed out Mrs. Musk-ox nervously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Turtle thought he had answered, and was beginning to get radiant. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Musk-ox doing these days?"

Mrs. Musk-ox would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Turtle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied caustically.