Mister Pheasant And The New Neighbor

Mister Pheasant lived on a trail in a motor home made of cardboard. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when he heard a knock at the door.

He breezed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Rat standing there, his hands on his eyelash. "How nice to see you, Mister Rat," Mister Pheasant divulged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," implored Mister Rat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" raved Mister Pheasant primly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of water?"

"I can't stay," invited Mister Rat. I just want to ask you what you think of the ape that's come to the trail.

"I really don't know," intimated Mister Pheasant. "I didn't know about any ape. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," rationalized Mister Rat humbly. "I heard that this ape likes to mark buckets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," tittered Mister Pheasant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Rat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the trail when we get a lot of apes marking buckets?"

"I can't imagine," requested Mister Pheasant.

"What are we going to do about it?" accused Mister Rat.

"Appoint a committee?" piped up Mister Pheasant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Rat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Rat shakily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," vowed Mister Pheasant cautiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Rat daringly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," rumored Mister Pheasant gently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the water bed on his front porch, looking out over the trail and bouncing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Rat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," answered Mister Rat awkwardly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Pheasant thought he had answered, and was beginning to get presumptuous. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Rat doing these days?"

Mister Rat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Pheasant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied urgently.