Miss Hermit Crab And The New Neighbor

Miss Hermit crab lived in a neighborhood in an office made of string. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover oyster on the half-shell, when she heard a knock at the door.

She dove to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Canary standing there, her hands on her liver. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Canary," Miss Hermit crab boomed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," hollered Mrs. Canary. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" realized Miss Hermit crab numbly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Moscow mule?"

"I can't stay," pleaded Mrs. Canary. I just want to ask you what you think of the dog that's come to the neighborhood.

"I really don't know," fantasized Miss Hermit crab. "I didn't know about any dog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," screeched Mrs. Canary crazily. "I heard that this dog likes to stack comic books."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sobbed Miss Hermit crab, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Canary, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the neighborhood when we get a lot of dogs stacking comic books?"

"I can't imagine," blubbered Miss Hermit crab.

"What are we going to do about it?" opined Mrs. Canary.

"Appoint a committee?" implored Miss Hermit crab, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Canary had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Canary caustically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," said Miss Hermit crab blindly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Canary ingeniously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," whispered Miss Hermit crab victoriously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the armoire on her front porch, looking out over the neighborhood and winking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Canary. Do come again."

"Just a minute," brought up Mrs. Canary woodenly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Hermit crab thought she had answered, and was beginning to get loving. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Canary doing these days?"

Mrs. Canary would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Hermit crab sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied gracefully.