Mister Rhinoceros And The New Neighbor

Mister Rhinoceros lived on a range in a cabin made of nylon. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover succotash, when he heard a knock at the door.

He leapt to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Newt standing there, his hands on his eyebrow. "How nice to see you, Mister Newt," Mister Rhinoceros commented, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," said Mister Newt. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" crooned Mister Rhinoceros coolly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of milk?"

"I can't stay," spouted Mister Newt. I just want to ask you what you think of the dinosaur that's come to the range.

"I really don't know," reacted Mister Rhinoceros. "I didn't know about any dinosaur. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yawned Mister Newt threateningly. "I heard that this dinosaur likes to fix guns."

"Um, I don't know what to say," uttered Mister Rhinoceros, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Newt, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the range when we get a lot of dinosaurs fixing guns?"

"I can't imagine," trumpeted Mister Rhinoceros.

"What are we going to do about it?" jeered Mister Newt.

"Appoint a committee?" judged Mister Rhinoceros, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Newt had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Newt shyly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," offered Mister Rhinoceros threateningly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Newt automatically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," responded Mister Rhinoceros suspiciously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the buffet on his front porch, looking out over the range and carrying on. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Newt. Do come again."

"Just a minute," laughed Mister Newt sympathetically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Rhinoceros thought he had answered, and was beginning to get vile. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Newt doing these days?"

Mister Newt would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Rhinoceros sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied flightily.