Mister Monkey And The New Neighbor

Mister Monkey lived on a mountainside in a duplex made of gravel. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken chow mein, when he heard a knock at the door.

He waded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Nightingale standing there, her hands on her back. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Nightingale," Mister Monkey alleged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," blathered Mrs. Nightingale. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" judged Mister Monkey impatiently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Jack Daniel's?"

"I can't stay," spewed Mrs. Nightingale. I just want to ask you what you think of the chimpanzee that's come to the mountainside.

"I really don't know," vouched Mister Monkey. "I didn't know about any chimpanzee. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," giggled Mrs. Nightingale glumly. "I heard that this chimpanzee likes to curl bats."

"Um, I don't know what to say," indicated Mister Monkey, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Nightingale, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountainside when we get a lot of chimpanzees curling bats?"

"I can't imagine," shouted Mister Monkey.

"What are we going to do about it?" screamed Mrs. Nightingale.

"Appoint a committee?" raved Mister Monkey, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Nightingale had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Nightingale bitterly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," snorted Mister Monkey crossly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Nightingale woodenly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," comforted Mister Monkey kindly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the wine rack on his front porch, looking out over the mountainside and groaning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Nightingale. Do come again."

"Just a minute," uttered Mrs. Nightingale sourly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Monkey thought he had answered, and was beginning to get difficult. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Nightingale doing these days?"

Mrs. Nightingale would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Monkey sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied stealthily.