Mister Puma And The New Neighbor

Mister Puma lived on a beach in a mobile home made of Kevlar. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover dirty rice, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tumbled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Wallaby standing there, her hands on her intestine. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Wallaby," Mister Puma protested, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," maintained Mrs. Wallaby. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" requested Mister Puma recklessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a secret potion?"

"I can't stay," squealed Mrs. Wallaby. I just want to ask you what you think of the crab that's come to the beach.

"I really don't know," urged Mister Puma. "I didn't know about any crab. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sniffed Mrs. Wallaby happily. "I heard that this crab likes to package pairs of headphones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," imitated Mister Puma, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Wallaby, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the beach when we get a lot of crabs packaging pairs of headphones?"

"I can't imagine," imitated Mister Puma.

"What are we going to do about it?" yelped Mrs. Wallaby.

"Appoint a committee?" burbled Mister Puma, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Wallaby had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Wallaby gracefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," realized Mister Puma coolly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Wallaby gingerly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," fumed Mister Puma valiantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the coffee table on his front porch, looking out over the beach and snorting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Wallaby. Do come again."

"Just a minute," opined Mrs. Wallaby firmly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Puma thought he had answered, and was beginning to get self-confident. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Wallaby doing these days?"

Mrs. Wallaby would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Puma sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied shyly.