Mister Beetle And The New Neighbor

Mister Beetle lived in a gully in a wikiup made of uranium. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover bonbons, when he heard a knock at the door.

He crept to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Elephant standing there, his hands on his foot. "How nice to see you, Mister Elephant," Mister Beetle shuddered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," persisted Mister Elephant. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" explained Mister Beetle admiringly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a whiskey?"

"I can't stay," professed Mister Elephant. I just want to ask you what you think of the hamster that's come to the gully.

"I really don't know," sniped Mister Beetle. "I didn't know about any hamster. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," remarked Mister Elephant pitifully. "I heard that this hamster likes to understand boxes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," hollered Mister Beetle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Elephant, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the gully when we get a lot of hamsters understanding boxes?"

"I can't imagine," reasoned Mister Beetle.

"What are we going to do about it?" fumed Mister Elephant.

"Appoint a committee?" griped Mister Beetle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Elephant had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Elephant uselessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sniped Mister Beetle openly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Elephant roughly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," mumbled Mister Beetle solemnly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the TV on his front porch, looking out over the gully and chanting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Elephant. Do come again."

"Just a minute," appealed Mister Elephant sharply. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Beetle thought he had answered, and was beginning to get diabolical. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Elephant doing these days?"

Mister Elephant would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Beetle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied hungrily.