Mister Turtle And The New Neighbor

Mister Turtle lived on a tundra in a condominium made of plaster of Paris. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover scrambled eggs, when he heard a knock at the door.

He whirled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Walrus standing there, her hands on her leg. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Walrus," Mister Turtle piped up, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," raved Mrs. Walrus. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" announced Mister Turtle queerly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a 7-Up?"

"I can't stay," mentioned Mrs. Walrus. I just want to ask you what you think of the snipe that's come to the tundra.

"I really don't know," demanded Mister Turtle. "I didn't know about any snipe. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," warbled Mrs. Walrus temperamentally. "I heard that this snipe likes to mark dresss."

"Um, I don't know what to say," blustered Mister Turtle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Walrus, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the tundra when we get a lot of snipes marking dresss?"

"I can't imagine," swore Mister Turtle.

"What are we going to do about it?" whimpered Mrs. Walrus.

"Appoint a committee?" urged Mister Turtle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Walrus had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Walrus patiently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," peeped Mister Turtle flightily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Walrus patiently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," burbled Mister Turtle majestically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bathtub on his front porch, looking out over the tundra and apologizing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Walrus. Do come again."

"Just a minute," emphasized Mrs. Walrus daintily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Turtle thought he had answered, and was beginning to get freakish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Walrus doing these days?"

Mrs. Walrus would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Turtle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied silently.