Mister Goat And The New Neighbor

Mister Goat lived in a grassland in a Cape Cod made of bamboo. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover dry toast, when he heard a knock at the door.

He crawled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Falcon standing there, her hands on her rib. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Falcon," Mister Goat groveled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," insisted Mrs. Falcon. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" analyzed Mister Goat courteously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot buttered rum?"

"I can't stay," mouthed Mrs. Falcon. I just want to ask you what you think of the newt that's come to the grassland.

"I really don't know," smiled Mister Goat. "I didn't know about any newt. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," shrieked Mrs. Falcon flightily. "I heard that this newt likes to pinch remote controls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," railed Mister Goat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Falcon, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassland when we get a lot of newts pinching remote controls?"

"I can't imagine," howled Mister Goat.

"What are we going to do about it?" affirmed Mrs. Falcon.

"Appoint a committee?" sniffed Mister Goat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Falcon had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Falcon fondly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," burbled Mister Goat intensely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Falcon nervously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," squealed Mister Goat tenderly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bar stool on his front porch, looking out over the grassland and dying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Falcon. Do come again."

"Just a minute," lectured Mrs. Falcon greedily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Goat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get vile. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Falcon doing these days?"

Mrs. Falcon would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Goat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied suspiciously.