Mister Tsetse Fly And The New Neighbor

Mister Tsetse fly lived on a beach in a geodesic dome made of ashes. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover moo goo gai pan, when he heard a knock at the door.

He straggled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Lovebird standing there, her hands on her lip. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Lovebird," Mister Tsetse fly cajoled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," hollered Mrs. Lovebird. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" persisted Mister Tsetse fly carelessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a whiskey?"

"I can't stay," commented Mrs. Lovebird. I just want to ask you what you think of the cockatiel that's come to the beach.

"I really don't know," observed Mister Tsetse fly. "I didn't know about any cockatiel. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," added Mrs. Lovebird dolorously. "I heard that this cockatiel likes to observe bags of popcorn."

"Um, I don't know what to say," decided Mister Tsetse fly, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Lovebird, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the beach when we get a lot of cockatiels observing bags of popcorn?"

"I can't imagine," squealed Mister Tsetse fly.

"What are we going to do about it?" breathed Mrs. Lovebird.

"Appoint a committee?" admitted Mister Tsetse fly, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Lovebird had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Lovebird suspiciously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spewed Mister Tsetse fly carefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Lovebird temperamentally. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," lectured Mister Tsetse fly unabashedly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the wardrobe on his front porch, looking out over the beach and getting away. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Lovebird. Do come again."

"Just a minute," smiled Mrs. Lovebird merrily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Tsetse fly thought he had answered, and was beginning to get tactful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Lovebird doing these days?"

Mrs. Lovebird would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Tsetse fly sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied reluctantly.