Mister Ant And The New Neighbor

Mister Ant lived in an arroyo in a brownstone made of wood. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover burritos, when he heard a knock at the door.

He skipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Flea standing there, her hands on her jaw. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Flea," Mister Ant jeered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," panted Mrs. Flea. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" interrupted Mister Ant cunningly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mai Tai?"

"I can't stay," yammered Mrs. Flea. I just want to ask you what you think of the flea that's come to the arroyo.

"I really don't know," whined Mister Ant. "I didn't know about any flea. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," imitated Mrs. Flea frantically. "I heard that this flea likes to shred coat hangers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," reacted Mister Ant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Flea, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the arroyo when we get a lot of fleas shredding coat hangers?"

"I can't imagine," trumpeted Mister Ant.

"What are we going to do about it?" persisted Mrs. Flea.

"Appoint a committee?" revealed Mister Ant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Flea had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Flea dolefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," hinted Mister Ant doubtfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Flea neatly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," griped Mister Ant effortlessly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the sofa on his front porch, looking out over the arroyo and twitching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Flea. Do come again."

"Just a minute," barked Mrs. Flea warmly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ant thought he had answered, and was beginning to get cunning. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Flea doing these days?"

Mrs. Flea would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied fearlessly.