Mister Brine Shrimp And The New Neighbor

Mister Brine shrimp lived in a briar patch in a penthouse made of buffalo hides. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover tuna casserole, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sashayed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Spider standing there, her hands on her wig. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Spider," Mister Brine shrimp admitted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yowled Mrs. Spider. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" quoted Mister Brine shrimp defiantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Sangría?"

"I can't stay," sniped Mrs. Spider. I just want to ask you what you think of the goat that's come to the briar patch.

"I really don't know," requested Mister Brine shrimp. "I didn't know about any goat. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," brought up Mrs. Spider glumly. "I heard that this goat likes to push packs of gum."

"Um, I don't know what to say," cackled Mister Brine shrimp, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Spider, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the briar patch when we get a lot of goats pushing packs of gum?"

"I can't imagine," brought up Mister Brine shrimp.

"What are we going to do about it?" spat Mrs. Spider.

"Appoint a committee?" grunted Mister Brine shrimp, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Spider had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Spider again. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," ranted Mister Brine shrimp demurely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Spider sorrowfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," alleged Mister Brine shrimp furiously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cushion on his front porch, looking out over the briar patch and barfing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Spider. Do come again."

"Just a minute," appealed Mrs. Spider hungrily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Brine shrimp thought he had answered, and was beginning to get impish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Spider doing these days?"

Mrs. Spider would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Brine shrimp sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied immediately.