Miss Airedale And The New Neighbor

Miss Airedale lived at a seashore in a dugout made of marbles. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cabbage rolls, when she heard a knock at the door.

She whirled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Tsetse fly standing there, his hands on his hangnail. "How nice to see you, Mister Tsetse fly," Miss Airedale howled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," shrieked Mister Tsetse fly. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mumbled Miss Airedale effortlessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a sarsaparilla?"

"I can't stay," laughed Mister Tsetse fly. I just want to ask you what you think of the Dalmatian that's come to the seashore.

"I really don't know," divulged Miss Airedale. "I didn't know about any Dalmatian. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sniveled Mister Tsetse fly woefully. "I heard that this Dalmatian likes to shrink chains."

"Um, I don't know what to say," panted Miss Airedale, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Tsetse fly, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the seashore when we get a lot of Dalmatians shrinking chains?"

"I can't imagine," worried Miss Airedale.

"What are we going to do about it?" whimpered Mister Tsetse fly.

"Appoint a committee?" quoted Miss Airedale, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Tsetse fly had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Tsetse fly daringly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," asserted Miss Airedale hysterically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Tsetse fly violently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," chortled Miss Airedale nimbly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the filing cabinet on her front porch, looking out over the seashore and seething. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Tsetse fly. Do come again."

"Just a minute," fumed Mister Tsetse fly suavely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Airedale thought she had answered, and was beginning to get sincere. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Tsetse fly doing these days?"

Mister Tsetse fly would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Airedale sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied angrily.