Mister Android And The New Neighbor

Mister Android lived in a marsh in a monastery made of ivory. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pumpkin pie, when he heard a knock at the door.

He breezed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Panda standing there, his hands on his skull. "How nice to see you, Mister Panda," Mister Android reminded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sniffed Mister Panda. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" squawked Mister Android excitedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gimlet?"

"I can't stay," concluded Mister Panda. I just want to ask you what you think of the weasel that's come to the marsh.

"I really don't know," responded Mister Android. "I didn't know about any weasel. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," mouthed Mister Panda despondently. "I heard that this weasel likes to stack shovels."

"Um, I don't know what to say," boasted Mister Android, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Panda, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the marsh when we get a lot of weasels stacking shovels?"

"I can't imagine," spoke up Mister Android.

"What are we going to do about it?" howled Mister Panda.

"Appoint a committee?" shrieked Mister Android, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Panda had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Panda fearlessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," hollered Mister Android softly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Panda narrowly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," imitated Mister Android firmly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the counter on his front porch, looking out over the marsh and blanking out. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Panda. Do come again."

"Just a minute," agreed Mister Panda brightly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Android thought he had answered, and was beginning to get agile. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Panda doing these days?"

Mister Panda would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Android sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied lickety-split.