Mister Warthog And The New Neighbor

Mister Warthog lived on a path in an A-frame made of ashes. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fish and chips, when he heard a knock at the door.

He capered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Airedale standing there, his hands on his elbow. "How nice to see you, Mister Airedale," Mister Warthog decided, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," bawled Mister Airedale. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" moaned Mister Warthog menacingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of KoolAid?"

"I can't stay," implored Mister Airedale. I just want to ask you what you think of the yeti that's come to the path.

"I really don't know," opined Mister Warthog. "I didn't know about any yeti. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," clarified Mister Airedale needlessly. "I heard that this yeti likes to dress pipes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," recited Mister Warthog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Airedale, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the path when we get a lot of yetis dressing pipes?"

"I can't imagine," groveled Mister Warthog.

"What are we going to do about it?" pronounced Mister Airedale.

"Appoint a committee?" began Mister Warthog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Airedale had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Airedale neatly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," called Mister Warthog narrowly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Airedale gruffly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," fumed Mister Warthog uneasily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the canopy bed on his front porch, looking out over the path and gasping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Airedale. Do come again."

"Just a minute," barked Mister Airedale woefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Warthog thought he had answered, and was beginning to get considerate. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Airedale doing these days?"

Mister Airedale would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Warthog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied crankily.