Miss Badger And The New Neighbor

Miss Badger lived in a park in a ranch house made of asbestos. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cabbage rolls, when she heard a knock at the door.

She slid to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Jaguar standing there, her hands on her shoulder. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Jaguar," Miss Badger remarked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," chimed Mrs. Jaguar. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" expressed Miss Badger curiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of water?"

"I can't stay," rebutted Mrs. Jaguar. I just want to ask you what you think of the goat that's come to the park.

"I really don't know," debated Miss Badger. "I didn't know about any goat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," answered Mrs. Jaguar cheerfully. "I heard that this goat likes to wallop crutches."

"Um, I don't know what to say," shouted Miss Badger, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Jaguar, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the park when we get a lot of goats walloping crutches?"

"I can't imagine," guessed Miss Badger.

"What are we going to do about it?" peeped Mrs. Jaguar.

"Appoint a committee?" yowled Miss Badger, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Jaguar had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Jaguar sweetly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," imitated Miss Badger pitifully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Jaguar woefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," quoted Miss Badger flightily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the cushion on her front porch, looking out over the park and taking a bath. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Jaguar. Do come again."

"Just a minute," debated Mrs. Jaguar cruelly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Badger thought she had answered, and was beginning to get considerate. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Jaguar doing these days?"

Mrs. Jaguar would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Badger sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied blindly.