Miss Squirrel And The New Neighbor

Miss Squirrel lived in a bog in a nunnery made of slate. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pretzels, when she heard a knock at the door.

She scampered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Polar bear standing there, her hands on her kidney. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Polar bear," Miss Squirrel avowed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," laughed Mrs. Polar bear. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" stammered Miss Squirrel effortlessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot chocolate?"

"I can't stay," whimpered Mrs. Polar bear. I just want to ask you what you think of the ferret that's come to the bog.

"I really don't know," breathed Miss Squirrel. "I didn't know about any ferret. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," queried Mrs. Polar bear busily. "I heard that this ferret likes to unlock iPhones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," clarified Miss Squirrel, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Polar bear, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the bog when we get a lot of ferrets unlocking iPhones?"

"I can't imagine," recited Miss Squirrel.

"What are we going to do about it?" voiced Mrs. Polar bear.

"Appoint a committee?" said Miss Squirrel, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Polar bear had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Polar bear vigorously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," quavered Miss Squirrel obediently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Polar bear joyously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," noted Miss Squirrel mysteriously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the casket on her front porch, looking out over the bog and pacing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Polar bear. Do come again."

"Just a minute," murmured Mrs. Polar bear lamely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Squirrel thought she had answered, and was beginning to get eccentric. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Polar bear doing these days?"

Mrs. Polar bear would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Squirrel sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied fervently.