Mister Elephant And The New Neighbor

Mister Elephant lived on a wasteland in a studio made of palm leaves. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pecan pie, when he heard a knock at the door.

He rolled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Macaque standing there, her hands on her eyebrow. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Macaque," Mister Elephant insisted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," comforted Mrs. Macaque. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" observed Mister Elephant nimbly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin fizz?"

"I can't stay," spat Mrs. Macaque. I just want to ask you what you think of the hog that's come to the wasteland.

"I really don't know," complained Mister Elephant. "I didn't know about any hog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," conversed Mrs. Macaque properly. "I heard that this hog likes to pick brushes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," snorted Mister Elephant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Macaque, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the wasteland when we get a lot of hogs picking brushes?"

"I can't imagine," interrupted Mister Elephant.

"What are we going to do about it?" spouted Mrs. Macaque.

"Appoint a committee?" jeered Mister Elephant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Macaque had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Macaque brightly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," invited Mister Elephant shakily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Macaque violently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," hollered Mister Elephant delicately, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the umbrella stand on his front porch, looking out over the wasteland and drooling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Macaque. Do come again."

"Just a minute," smirked Mrs. Macaque blankly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Elephant thought he had answered, and was beginning to get excitable. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Macaque doing these days?"

Mrs. Macaque would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Elephant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied patiently.