Mister Beagle And The New Neighbor

Mister Beagle lived in a grassland in a junk car made of mud bricks. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover popcorn, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tore to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Rattlesnake standing there, her hands on her nose. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Rattlesnake," Mister Beagle stated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," amended Mrs. Rattlesnake. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mentioned Mister Beagle neatly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a martini?"

"I can't stay," commented Mrs. Rattlesnake. I just want to ask you what you think of the weasel that's come to the grassland.

"I really don't know," provoked Mister Beagle. "I didn't know about any weasel. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," warbled Mrs. Rattlesnake victoriously. "I heard that this weasel likes to whirl lemons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," orated Mister Beagle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Rattlesnake, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassland when we get a lot of weasels whirling lemons?"

"I can't imagine," hummed Mister Beagle.

"What are we going to do about it?" stormed Mrs. Rattlesnake.

"Appoint a committee?" demanded Mister Beagle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Rattlesnake had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Rattlesnake calmly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," said Mister Beagle obediently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Rattlesnake hastily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," added Mister Beagle blindly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the credenza on his front porch, looking out over the grassland and suffering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Rattlesnake. Do come again."

"Just a minute," stormed Mrs. Rattlesnake fiercely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Beagle thought he had answered, and was beginning to get proud. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Rattlesnake doing these days?"

Mrs. Rattlesnake would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Beagle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied truculently.