Miss Phantom And The New Neighbor

Miss Phantom lived in a canyon in a monastery made of Scotch tape. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover egg salad sandwich, when she heard a knock at the door.

She paraded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Zebra standing there, her hands on her spinal cord. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Zebra," Miss Phantom commented, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," tittered Mrs. Zebra. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" disputed Miss Phantom gruffly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a bottle of water?"

"I can't stay," wondered Mrs. Zebra. I just want to ask you what you think of the hermit crab that's come to the canyon.

"I really don't know," swore Miss Phantom. "I didn't know about any hermit crab. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," joked Mrs. Zebra wearily. "I heard that this hermit crab likes to sand coloring books."

"Um, I don't know what to say," admitted Miss Phantom, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Zebra, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the canyon when we get a lot of hermit crabs sanding coloring books?"

"I can't imagine," swore Miss Phantom.

"What are we going to do about it?" emphasized Mrs. Zebra.

"Appoint a committee?" contended Miss Phantom, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Zebra had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Zebra vigorously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," boasted Miss Phantom frenetically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Zebra reluctantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," hollered Miss Phantom urgently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the hope chest on her front porch, looking out over the canyon and creeping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Zebra. Do come again."

"Just a minute," avowed Mrs. Zebra strangely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Phantom thought she had answered, and was beginning to get decisive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Zebra doing these days?"

Mrs. Zebra would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Phantom sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied strictly.