Miss Tarantula And The New Neighbor

Miss Tarantula lived on a prairie in a cabin made of Kevlar. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover falafel, when she heard a knock at the door.

She ran to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Grizzly bear standing there, his hands on his toupee. "How nice to see you, Mister Grizzly bear," Miss Tarantula yowled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yawned Mister Grizzly bear. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" voiced Miss Tarantula briskly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of grape juice?"

"I can't stay," guessed Mister Grizzly bear. I just want to ask you what you think of the mare that's come to the prairie.

"I really don't know," proposed Miss Tarantula. "I didn't know about any mare. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," orated Mister Grizzly bear recklessly. "I heard that this mare likes to loosen magnifying glasses."

"Um, I don't know what to say," asserted Miss Tarantula, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Grizzly bear, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the prairie when we get a lot of mares loosening magnifying glasses?"

"I can't imagine," voiced Miss Tarantula.

"What are we going to do about it?" spewed Mister Grizzly bear.

"Appoint a committee?" peeped Miss Tarantula, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Grizzly bear had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Grizzly bear quickly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sniped Miss Tarantula valiantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Grizzly bear valiantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," scoffed Miss Tarantula boldly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the chair on her front porch, looking out over the prairie and primping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Grizzly bear. Do come again."

"Just a minute," analyzed Mister Grizzly bear irritably. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Tarantula thought she had answered, and was beginning to get freakish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Grizzly bear doing these days?"

Mister Grizzly bear would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Tarantula sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied immediately.