Mister Cougar And The New Neighbor

Mister Cougar lived on a savanna in a retreat made of porcelain. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover steak, when he heard a knock at the door.

He bolted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Walrus standing there, his hands on his arm. "How nice to see you, Mister Walrus," Mister Cougar sputtered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," emphasized Mister Walrus. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" disputed Mister Cougar carelessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of Sanka?"

"I can't stay," babbled Mister Walrus. I just want to ask you what you think of the banana slug that's come to the savanna.

"I really don't know," quoted Mister Cougar. "I didn't know about any banana slug. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sniped Mister Walrus slowly. "I heard that this banana slug likes to certify peaches."

"Um, I don't know what to say," imitated Mister Cougar, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Walrus, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the savanna when we get a lot of banana slugs certifying peaches?"

"I can't imagine," remarked Mister Cougar.

"What are we going to do about it?" chortled Mister Walrus.

"Appoint a committee?" boomed Mister Cougar, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Walrus had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Walrus mysteriously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," thought Mister Cougar glibly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Walrus gruffly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," taunted Mister Cougar lovingly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the beanbag chair on his front porch, looking out over the savanna and coming back. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Walrus. Do come again."

"Just a minute," continued Mister Walrus sternly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Cougar thought he had answered, and was beginning to get drowsy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Walrus doing these days?"

Mister Walrus would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Cougar sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied vacantly.