Mister Garter Snake And The New Neighbor

Mister Garter snake lived in a buffalo wallow in a Cape Cod made of pebbles. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ceviche, when he heard a knock at the door.

He darted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Bullfrog standing there, his hands on his skull. "How nice to see you, Mister Bullfrog," Mister Garter snake repeated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," joked Mister Bullfrog. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" spoke up Mister Garter snake shyly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Sangría?"

"I can't stay," blubbered Mister Bullfrog. I just want to ask you what you think of the wolf that's come to the buffalo wallow.

"I really don't know," murmured Mister Garter snake. "I didn't know about any wolf. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," thought Mister Bullfrog nicely. "I heard that this wolf likes to slash toilet seats."

"Um, I don't know what to say," trumpeted Mister Garter snake, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Bullfrog, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the buffalo wallow when we get a lot of wolves slashing toilet seats?"

"I can't imagine," yawned Mister Garter snake.

"What are we going to do about it?" provoked Mister Bullfrog.

"Appoint a committee?" sniffed Mister Garter snake, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Bullfrog had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Bullfrog effortlessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," fantasized Mister Garter snake joyously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Bullfrog blissfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," exploded Mister Garter snake energetically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the display case on his front porch, looking out over the buffalo wallow and jiggling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Bullfrog. Do come again."

"Just a minute," implored Mister Bullfrog coolly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Garter snake thought he had answered, and was beginning to get affable. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Bullfrog doing these days?"

Mister Bullfrog would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Garter snake sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied swiftly.