Miss Toad And The New Neighbor

Miss Toad lived in a dumpster in a manor made of muslin. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast beef, when she heard a knock at the door.

She careened to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Ant standing there, her hands on her toenail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Ant," Miss Toad comforted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," brought up Mrs. Ant. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" rebutted Miss Toad surreptitiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of buttermilk?"

"I can't stay," queried Mrs. Ant. I just want to ask you what you think of the horse that's come to the dumpster.

"I really don't know," sneered Miss Toad. "I didn't know about any horse. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," mouthed Mrs. Ant gracefully. "I heard that this horse likes to smash spittoons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," railed Miss Toad, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Ant, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dumpster when we get a lot of horses smashing spittoons?"

"I can't imagine," debated Miss Toad.

"What are we going to do about it?" chortled Mrs. Ant.

"Appoint a committee?" clarified Miss Toad, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Ant had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Ant lovingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," repeated Miss Toad crankily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Ant crankily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yowled Miss Toad rapidly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the stairway on her front porch, looking out over the dumpster and exercising. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Ant. Do come again."

"Just a minute," spat Mrs. Ant ingeniously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Toad thought she had answered, and was beginning to get proud. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Ant doing these days?"

Mrs. Ant would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Toad sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied perkily.