Miss Dingo And The New Neighbor

Miss Dingo lived on a mesa in a mansion made of epoxy. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken soup, when she heard a knock at the door.

She tramped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Oyster standing there, her hands on her kidney. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Oyster," Miss Dingo indicated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," screamed Mrs. Oyster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" inquired Miss Dingo tearfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a can of Ensure?"

"I can't stay," indicated Mrs. Oyster. I just want to ask you what you think of the camel that's come to the mesa.

"I really don't know," stuttered Miss Dingo. "I didn't know about any camel. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," spat Mrs. Oyster nimbly. "I heard that this camel likes to patch tennis rackets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," acknowledged Miss Dingo, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Oyster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mesa when we get a lot of camels patching tennis rackets?"

"I can't imagine," gasped Miss Dingo.

"What are we going to do about it?" tittered Mrs. Oyster.

"Appoint a committee?" maintained Miss Dingo, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Oyster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Oyster pityingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," swore Miss Dingo uneasily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Oyster majestically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yowled Miss Dingo craftily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the credenza on her front porch, looking out over the mesa and humming. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Oyster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," pronounced Mrs. Oyster happily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Dingo thought she had answered, and was beginning to get dreadful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Oyster doing these days?"

Mrs. Oyster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Dingo sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied narrowly.