Mister Tiger And The New Neighbor

Mister Tiger lived on a trail in a condominium made of plutonium. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover French fries, when he heard a knock at the door.

He danced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Lizard standing there, his hands on his nostril. "How nice to see you, Mister Lizard," Mister Tiger griped, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," mused Mister Lizard. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" requested Mister Tiger viciously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin and tonic?"

"I can't stay," decided Mister Lizard. I just want to ask you what you think of the crocodile that's come to the trail.

"I really don't know," declaimed Mister Tiger. "I didn't know about any crocodile. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," grunted Mister Lizard anxiously. "I heard that this crocodile likes to recommend pencils."

"Um, I don't know what to say," vouched Mister Tiger, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Lizard, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the trail when we get a lot of crocodiles recommending pencils?"

"I can't imagine," exclaimed Mister Tiger.

"What are we going to do about it?" mouthed Mister Lizard.

"Appoint a committee?" rationalized Mister Tiger, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Lizard had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Lizard tenderly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," hummed Mister Tiger curiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Lizard hopelessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," grieved Mister Tiger humbly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bookcase on his front porch, looking out over the trail and fidgeting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Lizard. Do come again."

"Just a minute," continued Mister Lizard madly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Tiger thought he had answered, and was beginning to get bilious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Lizard doing these days?"

Mister Lizard would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Tiger sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied courteously.