Mister Beetle And The New Neighbor

Mister Beetle lived alongside a stream in a nunnery made of manure. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover beef bouillon, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slunk to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Raven standing there, his hands on his foot. "How nice to see you, Mister Raven," Mister Beetle lectured, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," suggested Mister Raven. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" cried Mister Beetle accidentally, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cosmopolitan?"

"I can't stay," agreed Mister Raven. I just want to ask you what you think of the gopher that's come to the stream.

"I really don't know," alleged Mister Beetle. "I didn't know about any gopher. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," implored Mister Raven sheepishly. "I heard that this gopher likes to dispose of kites."

"Um, I don't know what to say," rationalized Mister Beetle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Raven, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the stream when we get a lot of gophers disposing of kites?"

"I can't imagine," quoted Mister Beetle.

"What are we going to do about it?" affirmed Mister Raven.

"Appoint a committee?" stormed Mister Beetle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Raven had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Raven thoughtfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," protested Mister Beetle ferociously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Raven repeatedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," demanded Mister Beetle narrowly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the canopy bed on his front porch, looking out over the stream and doing nothing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Raven. Do come again."

"Just a minute," divulged Mister Raven woefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Beetle thought he had answered, and was beginning to get dowdy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Raven doing these days?"

Mister Raven would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Beetle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied proudly.