Miss Phantom And The New Neighbor

Miss Phantom lived on a peninsula in a park bench made of mahogany. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover crab rangoon, when she heard a knock at the door.

She slithered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Dingo standing there, her hands on her pituitary gland. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Dingo," Miss Phantom griped, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," declaimed Mrs. Dingo. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" preached Miss Phantom cleverly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Irish Coffee?"

"I can't stay," proposed Mrs. Dingo. I just want to ask you what you think of the prairie dog that's come to the peninsula.

"I really don't know," yelled Miss Phantom. "I didn't know about any prairie dog. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," persisted Mrs. Dingo sheepishly. "I heard that this prairie dog likes to cook brochures."

"Um, I don't know what to say," hinted Miss Phantom, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Dingo, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the peninsula when we get a lot of prairie dogs cooking brochures?"

"I can't imagine," opined Miss Phantom.

"What are we going to do about it?" asked Mrs. Dingo.

"Appoint a committee?" warbled Miss Phantom, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Dingo had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Dingo busily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," stated Miss Phantom nonchalantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Dingo languidly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," stuttered Miss Phantom needlessly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the coffee table on her front porch, looking out over the peninsula and sneezing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Dingo. Do come again."

"Just a minute," articulated Mrs. Dingo valiantly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Phantom thought she had answered, and was beginning to get sanguine. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Dingo doing these days?"

Mrs. Dingo would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Phantom sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied stupidly.