Miss Porcupine And The New Neighbor

Miss Porcupine lived in a landfill in a duplex made of hide. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mashed potatoes, when she heard a knock at the door.

She paraded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Porcupine standing there, her hands on her wrist. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Porcupine," Miss Porcupine harangued, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," fretted Mrs. Porcupine. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" rambled Miss Porcupine lazily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin fizz?"

"I can't stay," imitated Mrs. Porcupine. I just want to ask you what you think of the dachshund that's come to the landfill.

"I really don't know," blustered Miss Porcupine. "I didn't know about any dachshund. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," mentioned Mrs. Porcupine violently. "I heard that this dachshund likes to smudge magazines."

"Um, I don't know what to say," pronounced Miss Porcupine, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Porcupine, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the landfill when we get a lot of dachshunds smudging magazines?"

"I can't imagine," boasted Miss Porcupine.

"What are we going to do about it?" raved Mrs. Porcupine.

"Appoint a committee?" mused Miss Porcupine, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Porcupine had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Porcupine cunningly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," nattered Miss Porcupine sheepishly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Porcupine noisily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," argued Miss Porcupine nimbly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the pedestal on her front porch, looking out over the landfill and gesticulating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Porcupine. Do come again."

"Just a minute," argued Mrs. Porcupine hungrily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Porcupine thought she had answered, and was beginning to get weird. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Porcupine doing these days?"

Mrs. Porcupine would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Porcupine sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied courageously.