Miss Spider And The New Neighbor

Miss Spider lived on a hill in a housing project made of old newspapers. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover French fries, when she heard a knock at the door.

She crept to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Unicorn standing there, her hands on her fingernail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Unicorn," Miss Spider added, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," fretted Mrs. Unicorn. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" blathered Miss Spider shakily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Brandy Alexander?"

"I can't stay," spouted Mrs. Unicorn. I just want to ask you what you think of the turkey that's come to the hill.

"I really don't know," piped up Miss Spider. "I didn't know about any turkey. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," shuddered Mrs. Unicorn bravely. "I heard that this turkey likes to seal avocados."

"Um, I don't know what to say," clarified Miss Spider, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Unicorn, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hill when we get a lot of turkeys sealing avocados?"

"I can't imagine," expressed Miss Spider.

"What are we going to do about it?" warbled Mrs. Unicorn.

"Appoint a committee?" sneered Miss Spider, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Unicorn had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Unicorn gracefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," peeped Miss Spider threateningly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Unicorn pityingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," declaimed Miss Spider majestically, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the cash register on her front porch, looking out over the hill and staring into space. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Unicorn. Do come again."

"Just a minute," asserted Mrs. Unicorn blankly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Spider thought she had answered, and was beginning to get dowdy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Unicorn doing these days?"

Mrs. Unicorn would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Spider sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied arrogantly.