Mister Wallaby And The New Neighbor

Mister Wallaby lived in an outback in a houseboat made of foam rubber. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover dry toast, when he heard a knock at the door.

He traipsed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Turkey standing there, her hands on her pinky. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Turkey," Mister Wallaby yelped, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," asserted Mrs. Turkey. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" sniveled Mister Wallaby gracefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Seven and Seven?"

"I can't stay," taunted Mrs. Turkey. I just want to ask you what you think of the ape that's come to the outback.

"I really don't know," demanded Mister Wallaby. "I didn't know about any ape. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," gabbed Mrs. Turkey sourly. "I heard that this ape likes to vacuum boxes of Kleenex."

"Um, I don't know what to say," agreed Mister Wallaby, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Turkey, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the outback when we get a lot of apes vacuuming boxes of Kleenex?"

"I can't imagine," blustered Mister Wallaby.

"What are we going to do about it?" acknowledged Mrs. Turkey.

"Appoint a committee?" added Mister Wallaby, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Turkey had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Turkey daintily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," amended Mister Wallaby sourly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Turkey dreamily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," pleaded Mister Wallaby clumsily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the file cabinet on his front porch, looking out over the outback and squealing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Turkey. Do come again."

"Just a minute," debated Mrs. Turkey angrily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Wallaby thought he had answered, and was beginning to get clever. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Turkey doing these days?"

Mrs. Turkey would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Wallaby sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied gracefully.