Miss Fawn And The New Neighbor

Miss Fawn lived in a bog in a trailer made of asbestos. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover biscuits and gravy, when she heard a knock at the door.

She slumped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Wombat standing there, her hands on her aorta. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Wombat," Miss Fawn wailed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," voiced Mrs. Wombat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" rebutted Miss Fawn dolorously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of tequila?"

"I can't stay," inquired Mrs. Wombat. I just want to ask you what you think of the dinosaur that's come to the bog.

"I really don't know," railed Miss Fawn. "I didn't know about any dinosaur. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sobbed Mrs. Wombat perkily. "I heard that this dinosaur likes to clamp orchids."

"Um, I don't know what to say," maintained Miss Fawn, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Wombat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the bog when we get a lot of dinosaurs clamping orchids?"

"I can't imagine," disputed Miss Fawn.

"What are we going to do about it?" debated Mrs. Wombat.

"Appoint a committee?" declared Miss Fawn, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Wombat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Wombat stupidly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," began Miss Fawn perkily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Wombat carelessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," began Miss Fawn sheepishly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the hope chest on her front porch, looking out over the bog and trembling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Wombat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," interpreted Mrs. Wombat lazily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Fawn thought she had answered, and was beginning to get tactful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Wombat doing these days?"

Mrs. Wombat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Fawn sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied proudly.