Mister Pig And The New Neighbor

Mister Pig lived in a buffalo wallow in a junk car made of moss. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover borscht, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tramped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Cockatiel standing there, her hands on her pinky. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Cockatiel," Mister Pig squawked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," squawked Mrs. Cockatiel. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" raved Mister Pig despondently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin sour?"

"I can't stay," gabbed Mrs. Cockatiel. I just want to ask you what you think of the jaguar that's come to the buffalo wallow.

"I really don't know," boomed Mister Pig. "I didn't know about any jaguar. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," stated Mrs. Cockatiel grimly. "I heard that this jaguar likes to moisten pots."

"Um, I don't know what to say," demanded Mister Pig, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Cockatiel, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the buffalo wallow when we get a lot of jaguars moistening pots?"

"I can't imagine," gabbed Mister Pig.

"What are we going to do about it?" insisted Mrs. Cockatiel.

"Appoint a committee?" sniffed Mister Pig, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Cockatiel had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Cockatiel firmly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," hinted Mister Pig uneasily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Cockatiel dubiously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," pronounced Mister Pig irritably, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the ping-pong table on his front porch, looking out over the buffalo wallow and quivering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Cockatiel. Do come again."

"Just a minute," roared Mrs. Cockatiel curiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Pig thought he had answered, and was beginning to get relaxed. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Cockatiel doing these days?"

Mrs. Cockatiel would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Pig sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied strictly.