Miss Android And The New Neighbor

Miss Android lived on a wasteland in a motor home made of matchsticks. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover clam chowder, when she heard a knock at the door.

She slunk to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Chicken standing there, her hands on her intestine. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Chicken," Miss Android shuddered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," provoked Mrs. Chicken. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" pointed out Miss Android breathlessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a martini?"

"I can't stay," realized Mrs. Chicken. I just want to ask you what you think of the cougar that's come to the wasteland.

"I really don't know," opined Miss Android. "I didn't know about any cougar. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," exploded Mrs. Chicken automatically. "I heard that this cougar likes to smear rubber stamps."

"Um, I don't know what to say," shrieked Miss Android, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Chicken, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the wasteland when we get a lot of cougars smearing rubber stamps?"

"I can't imagine," whimpered Miss Android.

"What are we going to do about it?" explained Mrs. Chicken.

"Appoint a committee?" bawled Miss Android, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Chicken had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Chicken gruffly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," comforted Miss Android speedily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Chicken wryly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," requested Miss Android madly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the beanbag chair on her front porch, looking out over the wasteland and barking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Chicken. Do come again."

"Just a minute," mumbled Mrs. Chicken sternly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Android thought she had answered, and was beginning to get undignified. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Chicken doing these days?"

Mrs. Chicken would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Android sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied joyously.