Miss Toad And The New Neighbor

Miss Toad lived in a village in a yurt made of plasma. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when she heard a knock at the door.

She whirled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Cockroach standing there, his hands on his little toe. "How nice to see you, Mister Cockroach," Miss Toad yelled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," voiced Mister Cockroach. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" professed Miss Toad needlessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a tequila sunrise?"

"I can't stay," sighed Mister Cockroach. I just want to ask you what you think of the turtle that's come to the village.

"I really don't know," smirked Miss Toad. "I didn't know about any turtle. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," acknowledged Mister Cockroach offhandedly. "I heard that this turtle likes to check primroses."

"Um, I don't know what to say," realized Miss Toad, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cockroach, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the village when we get a lot of turtles checking primroses?"

"I can't imagine," queried Miss Toad.

"What are we going to do about it?" yelled Mister Cockroach.

"Appoint a committee?" stormed Miss Toad, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cockroach had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cockroach blissfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," commented Miss Toad deliberately, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cockroach sympathetically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," stuttered Miss Toad dolorously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the crib on her front porch, looking out over the village and burbling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cockroach. Do come again."

"Just a minute," questioned Mister Cockroach strangely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Toad thought she had answered, and was beginning to get creepy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cockroach doing these days?"

Mister Cockroach would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Toad sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied irritably.