Mister Mosquito And The New Neighbor

Mister Mosquito lived in a gulch in a Spanish colonial made of manure. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pancakes, when he heard a knock at the door.

He swaggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Pig standing there, her hands on her bladder. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Pig," Mister Mosquito agreed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," repeated Mrs. Pig. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" wept Mister Mosquito suddenly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of hot chocolate?"

"I can't stay," thought Mrs. Pig. I just want to ask you what you think of the crow that's come to the gulch.

"I really don't know," railed Mister Mosquito. "I didn't know about any crow. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," laughed Mrs. Pig accidentally. "I heard that this crow likes to fix dollar bills."

"Um, I don't know what to say," chattered Mister Mosquito, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Pig, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the gulch when we get a lot of crows fixing dollar bills?"

"I can't imagine," sputtered Mister Mosquito.

"What are we going to do about it?" winked Mrs. Pig.

"Appoint a committee?" rebutted Mister Mosquito, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Pig had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Pig cleverly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," maintained Mister Mosquito cleverly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Pig joyously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," informed Mister Mosquito coolly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the casket on his front porch, looking out over the gulch and belching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Pig. Do come again."

"Just a minute," joked Mrs. Pig pityingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Mosquito thought he had answered, and was beginning to get homely. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Pig doing these days?"

Mrs. Pig would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Mosquito sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied numbly.