Mister Giraffe And The New Neighbor

Mister Giraffe lived in a pond in a monastery made of paper clips. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hamburgers, when he heard a knock at the door.

He flounced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Crab standing there, her hands on her tongue. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Crab," Mister Giraffe affirmed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," orated Mrs. Crab. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" roared Mister Giraffe bravely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of apricot juice?"

"I can't stay," contended Mrs. Crab. I just want to ask you what you think of the dog that's come to the pond.

"I really don't know," sniffed Mister Giraffe. "I didn't know about any dog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," enunciated Mrs. Crab arrogantly. "I heard that this dog likes to hang sacks of potatoes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," invited Mister Giraffe, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Crab, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the pond when we get a lot of dogs hanging sacks of potatoes?"

"I can't imagine," comforted Mister Giraffe.

"What are we going to do about it?" howled Mrs. Crab.

"Appoint a committee?" joked Mister Giraffe, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Crab had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Crab slowly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," smirked Mister Giraffe quickly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Crab cunningly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," declared Mister Giraffe anxiously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the counter on his front porch, looking out over the pond and barfing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Crab. Do come again."

"Just a minute," decided Mrs. Crab patiently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Giraffe thought he had answered, and was beginning to get bizarre. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Crab doing these days?"

Mrs. Crab would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Giraffe sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied grudgingly.