Mister Hedgehog And The New Neighbor

Mister Hedgehog lived in a pasture in a houseboat made of fiberglass. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover duck a l'orange, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Raven standing there, his hands on his forehead. "How nice to see you, Mister Raven," Mister Hedgehog provoked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," crooned Mister Raven. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" whispered Mister Hedgehog ferociously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a painkiller?"

"I can't stay," gabbed Mister Raven. I just want to ask you what you think of the louse that's come to the pasture.

"I really don't know," orated Mister Hedgehog. "I didn't know about any louse. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," concluded Mister Raven blankly. "I heard that this louse likes to split umbrellas."

"Um, I don't know what to say," winked Mister Hedgehog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Raven, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the pasture when we get a lot of lice splitting umbrellas?"

"I can't imagine," clarified Mister Hedgehog.

"What are we going to do about it?" quoted Mister Raven.

"Appoint a committee?" blubbered Mister Hedgehog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Raven had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Raven truculently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," groveled Mister Hedgehog crossly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Raven grandly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," answered Mister Hedgehog shyly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the pool table on his front porch, looking out over the pasture and carrying on. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Raven. Do come again."

"Just a minute," disputed Mister Raven greedily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Hedgehog thought he had answered, and was beginning to get cunning. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Raven doing these days?"

Mister Raven would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Hedgehog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied firmly.