Mister Zebra And The New Neighbor

Mister Zebra lived in a cesspool in a log cabin made of vinyl. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast beef, when he heard a knock at the door.

He galloped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Elk standing there, his hands on his thorax. "How nice to see you, Mister Elk," Mister Zebra piped up, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," murmured Mister Elk. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" begged Mister Zebra woefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Alka-Seltzer?"

"I can't stay," yelped Mister Elk. I just want to ask you what you think of the goose that's come to the cesspool.

"I really don't know," shuddered Mister Zebra. "I didn't know about any goose. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," worried Mister Elk cautiously. "I heard that this goose likes to expand calling cards."

"Um, I don't know what to say," jeered Mister Zebra, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Elk, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cesspool when we get a lot of geese expanding calling cards?"

"I can't imagine," reasoned Mister Zebra.

"What are we going to do about it?" analyzed Mister Elk.

"Appoint a committee?" grunted Mister Zebra, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Elk had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Elk unexpectedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," drawled Mister Zebra delicately, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Elk lazily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," cajoled Mister Zebra angrily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the beanbag chair on his front porch, looking out over the cesspool and digesting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Elk. Do come again."

"Just a minute," begged Mister Elk energetically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Zebra thought he had answered, and was beginning to get weary. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Elk doing these days?"

Mister Elk would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Zebra sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied slowly.