Miss Cow And The New Neighbor

Miss Cow lived in a field in a manor house made of uranium. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover wienerschnitzel, when she heard a knock at the door.

She strode to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Cobra standing there, her hands on her carotid artery. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Cobra," Miss Cow called, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," disputed Mrs. Cobra. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" croaked Miss Cow cunningly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a sassafras tea?"

"I can't stay," requested Mrs. Cobra. I just want to ask you what you think of the crocodile that's come to the field.

"I really don't know," articulated Miss Cow. "I didn't know about any crocodile. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," bawled Mrs. Cobra hysterically. "I heard that this crocodile likes to harden firecrackers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," wondered Miss Cow, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Cobra, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the field when we get a lot of crocodiles hardening firecrackers?"

"I can't imagine," spewed Miss Cow.

"What are we going to do about it?" sniped Mrs. Cobra.

"Appoint a committee?" announced Miss Cow, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Cobra had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Cobra lovingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," enunciated Miss Cow offhandedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Cobra speedily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," conversed Miss Cow sharply, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the wardrobe on her front porch, looking out over the field and grimacing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Cobra. Do come again."

"Just a minute," reminded Mrs. Cobra sagely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Cow thought she had answered, and was beginning to get exuberant. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Cobra doing these days?"

Mrs. Cobra would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Cow sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied languidly.