Miss Monster And The New Neighbor

Miss Monster lived beside a creek in a townhouse made of brick. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast Cornish game hen, when she heard a knock at the door.

She went to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Antelope standing there, her hands on her lip. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Antelope," Miss Monster yammered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," retorted Mrs. Antelope. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" orated Miss Monster woodenly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a sarsaparilla?"

"I can't stay," hummed Mrs. Antelope. I just want to ask you what you think of the elk that's come to the creek.

"I really don't know," wondered Miss Monster. "I didn't know about any elk. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," piped up Mrs. Antelope strangely. "I heard that this elk likes to gold plate orchids."

"Um, I don't know what to say," murmured Miss Monster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Antelope, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the creek when we get a lot of elk gold plating orchids?"

"I can't imagine," blustered Miss Monster.

"What are we going to do about it?" conversed Mrs. Antelope.

"Appoint a committee?" asked Miss Monster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Antelope had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Antelope solemnly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," inquired Miss Monster sleepily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Antelope narrowly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," pleaded Miss Monster blissfully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the coffee table on her front porch, looking out over the creek and fantasizing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Antelope. Do come again."

"Just a minute," protested Mrs. Antelope flightily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Monster thought she had answered, and was beginning to get self-confident. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Antelope doing these days?"

Mrs. Antelope would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Monster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied silently.