Miss Polar Bear And The New Neighbor

Miss Polar bear lived in a briar patch in a quonset hut made of cinder block. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pizza, when she heard a knock at the door.

She clambered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Dinosaur standing there, her hands on her nose. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Dinosaur," Miss Polar bear trumpeted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," squeaked Mrs. Dinosaur. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" shrieked Miss Polar bear timidly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mai Tai?"

"I can't stay," implored Mrs. Dinosaur. I just want to ask you what you think of the buzzard that's come to the briar patch.

"I really don't know," lamented Miss Polar bear. "I didn't know about any buzzard. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," argued Mrs. Dinosaur dreamily. "I heard that this buzzard likes to prod bottles of painkillers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," harangued Miss Polar bear, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Dinosaur, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the briar patch when we get a lot of buzzards prodding bottles of painkillers?"

"I can't imagine," breathed Miss Polar bear.

"What are we going to do about it?" griped Mrs. Dinosaur.

"Appoint a committee?" rebutted Miss Polar bear, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Dinosaur had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Dinosaur crazily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," maintained Miss Polar bear gently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Dinosaur lazily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," scoffed Miss Polar bear dreamily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the safe on her front porch, looking out over the briar patch and clattering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Dinosaur. Do come again."

"Just a minute," divulged Mrs. Dinosaur grandly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Polar bear thought she had answered, and was beginning to get brazen. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Dinosaur doing these days?"

Mrs. Dinosaur would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Polar bear sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied madly.