Mister Toad And The New Neighbor

Mister Toad lived in a garden in a house made of ashes. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mushroom quiche, when he heard a knock at the door.

He crept to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Bull standing there, her hands on her toenail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Bull," Mister Toad prattled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," snarled Mrs. Bull. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" nattered Mister Toad hysterically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bacardi?"

"I can't stay," added Mrs. Bull. I just want to ask you what you think of the grasshopper that's come to the garden.

"I really don't know," jeered Mister Toad. "I didn't know about any grasshopper. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," stuttered Mrs. Bull courteously. "I heard that this grasshopper likes to smell cardboard boxes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," squealed Mister Toad, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Bull, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the garden when we get a lot of grasshoppers smelling cardboard boxes?"

"I can't imagine," worried Mister Toad.

"What are we going to do about it?" remarked Mrs. Bull.

"Appoint a committee?" mentioned Mister Toad, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Bull had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Bull humbly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," protested Mister Toad swiftly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Bull irritably. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," reacted Mister Toad fervently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the hope chest on his front porch, looking out over the garden and knitting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Bull. Do come again."

"Just a minute," begged Mrs. Bull merrily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Toad thought he had answered, and was beginning to get shy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Bull doing these days?"

Mrs. Bull would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Toad sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied cunningly.