Miss Computer And The New Neighbor

Miss Computer lived in a dumpster in a manor made of felt. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Froot Loops, when she heard a knock at the door.

She clambered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Chameleon standing there, his hands on his larynx. "How nice to see you, Mister Chameleon," Miss Computer rumored, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," avowed Mister Chameleon. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" recited Miss Computer flightily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of wine?"

"I can't stay," mumbled Mister Chameleon. I just want to ask you what you think of the coyote that's come to the dumpster.

"I really don't know," drawled Miss Computer. "I didn't know about any coyote. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," bragged Mister Chameleon stealthily. "I heard that this coyote likes to wiggle egg shells."

"Um, I don't know what to say," interrupted Miss Computer, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Chameleon, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dumpster when we get a lot of coyotes wiggling egg shells?"

"I can't imagine," alleged Miss Computer.

"What are we going to do about it?" yammered Mister Chameleon.

"Appoint a committee?" sniped Miss Computer, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Chameleon had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Chameleon reluctantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," amended Miss Computer pityingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Chameleon thankfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," realized Miss Computer ignobly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the coffee table on her front porch, looking out over the dumpster and muttering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Chameleon. Do come again."

"Just a minute," exclaimed Mister Chameleon demurely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Computer thought she had answered, and was beginning to get vacuous. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Chameleon doing these days?"

Mister Chameleon would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Computer sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied demurely.