Mister Oyster And The New Neighbor

Mister Oyster lived on a plain in a housing project made of chalk. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pancakes, when he heard a knock at the door.

He lurched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Mare standing there, his hands on his midriff. "How nice to see you, Mister Mare," Mister Oyster gasped, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," acknowledged Mister Mare. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" hollered Mister Oyster greedily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a martini?"

"I can't stay," commented Mister Mare. I just want to ask you what you think of the bumblebee that's come to the plain.

"I really don't know," piped up Mister Oyster. "I didn't know about any bumblebee. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," argued Mister Mare daringly. "I heard that this bumblebee likes to jump on flyswatters."

"Um, I don't know what to say," vowed Mister Oyster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Mare, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plain when we get a lot of bumblebees jumping on flyswatters?"

"I can't imagine," joked Mister Oyster.

"What are we going to do about it?" barked Mister Mare.

"Appoint a committee?" analyzed Mister Oyster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Mare had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Mare fearlessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," disputed Mister Oyster thoughtfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Mare warily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," begged Mister Oyster thankfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the rocking chair on his front porch, looking out over the plain and getting upset. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Mare. Do come again."

"Just a minute," asserted Mister Mare brightly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Oyster thought he had answered, and was beginning to get awkward. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Mare doing these days?"

Mister Mare would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Oyster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied hysterically.