Miss Bird And The New Neighbor

Miss Bird lived in a pasture in a yurt made of ice. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover candy, when she heard a knock at the door.

She leapt to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Ape standing there, her hands on her stomach. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Ape," Miss Bird rationalized, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," emphasized Mrs. Ape. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" professed Miss Bird cautiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin and tonic?"

"I can't stay," panted Mrs. Ape. I just want to ask you what you think of the pheasant that's come to the pasture.

"I really don't know," explained Miss Bird. "I didn't know about any pheasant. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," cackled Mrs. Ape diligently. "I heard that this pheasant likes to strip feathers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," pointed out Miss Bird, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Ape, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the pasture when we get a lot of pheasants stripping feathers?"

"I can't imagine," muttered Miss Bird.

"What are we going to do about it?" simpered Mrs. Ape.

"Appoint a committee?" exclaimed Miss Bird, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Ape had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Ape defiantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spoke up Miss Bird woodenly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Ape impatiently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," chattered Miss Bird madly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bookcase on her front porch, looking out over the pasture and doing nothing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Ape. Do come again."

"Just a minute," muttered Mrs. Ape gently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Bird thought she had answered, and was beginning to get serious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Ape doing these days?"

Mrs. Ape would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Bird sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied languidly.