Mister Dolphin And The New Neighbor

Mister Dolphin lived in a hayfield in a convent made of asphalt. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Froot Loops, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slumped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Horsie standing there, her hands on her bicep. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Horsie," Mister Dolphin concluded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yammered Mrs. Horsie. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" squealed Mister Dolphin dolefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cosmopolitan?"

"I can't stay," voiced Mrs. Horsie. I just want to ask you what you think of the snake that's come to the hayfield.

"I really don't know," spouted Mister Dolphin. "I didn't know about any snake. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," trumpeted Mrs. Horsie fearfully. "I heard that this snake likes to seal pillows."

"Um, I don't know what to say," exclaimed Mister Dolphin, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Horsie, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hayfield when we get a lot of snakes sealing pillows?"

"I can't imagine," reasoned Mister Dolphin.

"What are we going to do about it?" snorted Mrs. Horsie.

"Appoint a committee?" mumbled Mister Dolphin, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Horsie had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Horsie needlessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," blathered Mister Dolphin glibly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Horsie obediently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yelped Mister Dolphin hopefully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the card table on his front porch, looking out over the hayfield and primping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Horsie. Do come again."

"Just a minute," began Mrs. Horsie ingeniously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Dolphin thought he had answered, and was beginning to get megalomaniacal. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Horsie doing these days?"

Mrs. Horsie would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Dolphin sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied bitterly.