Mister Deer And The New Neighbor

Mister Deer lived in a forest in a travel trailer made of Sheetrock. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when he heard a knock at the door.

He staggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Rhinoceros standing there, her hands on her jaw. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Rhinoceros," Mister Deer accused, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," reminded Mrs. Rhinoceros. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" jeered Mister Deer tensely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an iced tea?"

"I can't stay," piped up Mrs. Rhinoceros. I just want to ask you what you think of the rat that's come to the forest.

"I really don't know," drawled Mister Deer. "I didn't know about any rat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," voiced Mrs. Rhinoceros testily. "I heard that this rat likes to catch lollipops."

"Um, I don't know what to say," continued Mister Deer, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Rhinoceros, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the forest when we get a lot of rats catching lollipops?"

"I can't imagine," comforted Mister Deer.

"What are we going to do about it?" smirked Mrs. Rhinoceros.

"Appoint a committee?" argued Mister Deer, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Rhinoceros had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Rhinoceros sleepily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sniffed Mister Deer shyly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Rhinoceros brightly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," gasped Mister Deer sweetly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cash register on his front porch, looking out over the forest and scribbling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Rhinoceros. Do come again."

"Just a minute," rationalized Mrs. Rhinoceros coolly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Deer thought he had answered, and was beginning to get apoplectic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Rhinoceros doing these days?"

Mrs. Rhinoceros would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Deer sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied temperamentally.