Miss Newt And The New Neighbor

Miss Newt lived in a valley in a mobile home made of matchsticks. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fried eggs, when she heard a knock at the door.

She inched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Newt standing there, his hands on his tongue. "How nice to see you, Mister Newt," Miss Newt called, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," implored Mister Newt. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" squealed Miss Newt nonchalantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of iced tea?"

"I can't stay," spouted Mister Newt. I just want to ask you what you think of the macaque that's come to the valley.

"I really don't know," wept Miss Newt. "I didn't know about any macaque. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," articulated Mister Newt crossly. "I heard that this macaque likes to swipe paperweights."

"Um, I don't know what to say," winked Miss Newt, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Newt, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the valley when we get a lot of macaques swiping paperweights?"

"I can't imagine," barked Miss Newt.

"What are we going to do about it?" reminded Mister Newt.

"Appoint a committee?" hummed Miss Newt, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Newt had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Newt resignedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sputtered Miss Newt narrowly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Newt surreptitiously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," observed Miss Newt calmly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the workbench on her front porch, looking out over the valley and whistling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Newt. Do come again."

"Just a minute," hollered Mister Newt blissfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Newt thought she had answered, and was beginning to get poised. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Newt doing these days?"

Mister Newt would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Newt sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied warmly.