Miss Antelope And The New Neighbor

Miss Antelope lived on a butte in a mobile home made of carbon fiber. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pie a la mode, when she heard a knock at the door.

She breezed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Bird standing there, her hands on her spleen. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Bird," Miss Antelope imitated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," reminded Mrs. Bird. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" observed Miss Antelope charmingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cappuccino?"

"I can't stay," sniveled Mrs. Bird. I just want to ask you what you think of the puppy that's come to the butte.

"I really don't know," peeped Miss Antelope. "I didn't know about any puppy. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," fretted Mrs. Bird merrily. "I heard that this puppy likes to shake tickets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sobbed Miss Antelope, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Bird, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the butte when we get a lot of puppies shaking tickets?"

"I can't imagine," intoned Miss Antelope.

"What are we going to do about it?" concluded Mrs. Bird.

"Appoint a committee?" jeered Miss Antelope, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Bird had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Bird slowly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," pronounced Miss Antelope blindly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Bird mysteriously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," quoted Miss Antelope ferociously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the desk on her front porch, looking out over the butte and resting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Bird. Do come again."

"Just a minute," stuttered Mrs. Bird lickety-split. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Antelope thought she had answered, and was beginning to get dark. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Bird doing these days?"

Mrs. Bird would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Antelope sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied uneasily.