Miss Boa Constrictor And The New Neighbor

Miss Boa constrictor lived at a dump in an igloo made of canvas. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover corn on the cob, when she heard a knock at the door.

She straggled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Toad standing there, her hands on her appendix. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Toad," Miss Boa constrictor sniveled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," asserted Mrs. Toad. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" lamented Miss Boa constrictor sympathetically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a bottle of Gatorade?"

"I can't stay," pronounced Mrs. Toad. I just want to ask you what you think of the mouse that's come to the dump.

"I really don't know," sputtered Miss Boa constrictor. "I didn't know about any mouse. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," inquired Mrs. Toad irritably. "I heard that this mouse likes to stitch church keys."

"Um, I don't know what to say," taunted Miss Boa constrictor, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Toad, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dump when we get a lot of mice stitching church keys?"

"I can't imagine," cried Miss Boa constrictor.

"What are we going to do about it?" pointed out Mrs. Toad.

"Appoint a committee?" fumed Miss Boa constrictor, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Toad had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Toad lightly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," hummed Miss Boa constrictor woodenly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Toad crazily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," spouted Miss Boa constrictor silently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the chair on her front porch, looking out over the dump and snarling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Toad. Do come again."

"Just a minute," guessed Mrs. Toad sheepishly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Boa constrictor thought she had answered, and was beginning to get nonchalant. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Toad doing these days?"

Mrs. Toad would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Boa constrictor sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied crankily.