Mister Mountain Goat And The New Neighbor

Mister Mountain goat lived on an island in a quonset hut made of snow. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover spaghetti, when he heard a knock at the door.

He paraded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Shark standing there, her hands on her Achilles tendon. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Shark," Mister Mountain goat nattered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," conversed Mrs. Shark. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" argued Mister Mountain goat automatically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of tomato juice?"

"I can't stay," commented Mrs. Shark. I just want to ask you what you think of the hornet that's come to the island.

"I really don't know," implored Mister Mountain goat. "I didn't know about any hornet. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," blustered Mrs. Shark cheerfully. "I heard that this hornet likes to grab Helmholz resonators."

"Um, I don't know what to say," blubbered Mister Mountain goat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Shark, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the island when we get a lot of hornets grabbing Helmholz resonators?"

"I can't imagine," bellowed Mister Mountain goat.

"What are we going to do about it?" maintained Mrs. Shark.

"Appoint a committee?" inquired Mister Mountain goat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Shark had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Shark pityingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," said Mister Mountain goat quickly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Shark breathlessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," hinted Mister Mountain goat primly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the toilet on his front porch, looking out over the island and leering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Shark. Do come again."

"Just a minute," reacted Mrs. Shark crazily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Mountain goat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get cruel. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Shark doing these days?"

Mrs. Shark would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Mountain goat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied swiftly.