Mister Elephant And The New Neighbor

Mister Elephant lived in a dumpster in a homeless shelter made of hay. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hors d'oeuvre, when he heard a knock at the door.

He hopped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Coyote standing there, his hands on his femur. "How nice to see you, Mister Coyote," Mister Elephant protested, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," jeered Mister Coyote. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" expressed Mister Elephant offhandedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bloody Mary?"

"I can't stay," realized Mister Coyote. I just want to ask you what you think of the hawk that's come to the dumpster.

"I really don't know," quavered Mister Elephant. "I didn't know about any hawk. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," groaned Mister Coyote craftily. "I heard that this hawk likes to trim toys."

"Um, I don't know what to say," acknowledged Mister Elephant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Coyote, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dumpster when we get a lot of hawks trimming toys?"

"I can't imagine," howled Mister Elephant.

"What are we going to do about it?" queried Mister Coyote.

"Appoint a committee?" announced Mister Elephant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Coyote had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Coyote carelessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," hissed Mister Elephant craftily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Coyote lamely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," croaked Mister Elephant viciously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the file cabinet on his front porch, looking out over the dumpster and dithering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Coyote. Do come again."

"Just a minute," reminded Mister Coyote defiantly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Elephant thought he had answered, and was beginning to get decisive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Coyote doing these days?"

Mister Coyote would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Elephant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sorrowfully.