Mister Chameleon And The New Neighbor

Mister Chameleon lived in a briar patch in a monastery made of stardust. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ice cream, when he heard a knock at the door.

He loped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Leopard standing there, his hands on his thyroid gland. "How nice to see you, Mister Leopard," Mister Chameleon smirked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sobbed Mister Leopard. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" vowed Mister Chameleon sarcastically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Scotch and soda?"

"I can't stay," squawked Mister Leopard. I just want to ask you what you think of the leopard that's come to the briar patch.

"I really don't know," guessed Mister Chameleon. "I didn't know about any leopard. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," thought Mister Leopard confidently. "I heard that this leopard likes to roll bags of groceries."

"Um, I don't know what to say," stated Mister Chameleon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Leopard, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the briar patch when we get a lot of leopards rolling bags of groceries?"

"I can't imagine," boasted Mister Chameleon.

"What are we going to do about it?" whispered Mister Leopard.

"Appoint a committee?" growled Mister Chameleon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Leopard had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Leopard warily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," shouted Mister Chameleon silently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Leopard woodenly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," fretted Mister Chameleon nicely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the pool table on his front porch, looking out over the briar patch and typing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Leopard. Do come again."

"Just a minute," remarked Mister Leopard doubtfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Chameleon thought he had answered, and was beginning to get tense. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Leopard doing these days?"

Mister Leopard would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Chameleon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied elatedly.