Mister Worm And The New Neighbor

Mister Worm lived in a dumpster in an office made of graham crackers. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prune pudding, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sallied forth to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Porcupine standing there, her hands on her gut. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Porcupine," Mister Worm swore, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," mumbled Mrs. Porcupine. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" blathered Mister Worm tearfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a milkshake?"

"I can't stay," bawled Mrs. Porcupine. I just want to ask you what you think of the flea that's come to the dumpster.

"I really don't know," intimated Mister Worm. "I didn't know about any flea. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," uttered Mrs. Porcupine lickety-split. "I heard that this flea likes to scrape primroses."

"Um, I don't know what to say," blathered Mister Worm, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Porcupine, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dumpster when we get a lot of fleas scraping primroses?"

"I can't imagine," blubbered Mister Worm.

"What are we going to do about it?" analyzed Mrs. Porcupine.

"Appoint a committee?" gasped Mister Worm, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Porcupine had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Porcupine merrily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," nattered Mister Worm strangely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Porcupine frantically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," retorted Mister Worm urgently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the footstool on his front porch, looking out over the dumpster and playing Duck Duck Goose. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Porcupine. Do come again."

"Just a minute," exclaimed Mrs. Porcupine sorrowfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Worm thought he had answered, and was beginning to get princely. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Porcupine doing these days?"

Mrs. Porcupine would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Worm sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied angrily.