Mister Tapeworm And The New Neighbor

Mister Tapeworm lived at a seashore in a box made of spandex. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover macaroni and cheese, when he heard a knock at the door.

He bounced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Elk standing there, his hands on his paw. "How nice to see you, Mister Elk," Mister Tapeworm informed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," taunted Mister Elk. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" squeaked Mister Tapeworm lamely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a kamikaze?"

"I can't stay," spouted Mister Elk. I just want to ask you what you think of the yeti that's come to the seashore.

"I really don't know," hinted Mister Tapeworm. "I didn't know about any yeti. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," instructed Mister Elk silently. "I heard that this yeti likes to load brooms."

"Um, I don't know what to say," smirked Mister Tapeworm, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Elk, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the seashore when we get a lot of yetis loading brooms?"

"I can't imagine," revealed Mister Tapeworm.

"What are we going to do about it?" continued Mister Elk.

"Appoint a committee?" rebutted Mister Tapeworm, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Elk had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Elk furiously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," acknowledged Mister Tapeworm resignedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Elk roughly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," maintained Mister Tapeworm frenetically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the canopy bed on his front porch, looking out over the seashore and chattering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Elk. Do come again."

"Just a minute," murmured Mister Elk frantically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Tapeworm thought he had answered, and was beginning to get anemic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Elk doing these days?"

Mister Elk would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Tapeworm sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied joyously.