Mister Snake And The New Neighbor

Mister Snake lived on a veld in a penthouse made of taffy. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover beef bouillon, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tumbled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Quail standing there, her hands on her antenna. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Quail," Mister Snake screamed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," mused Mrs. Quail. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" hinted Mister Snake properly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mojito?"

"I can't stay," shouted Mrs. Quail. I just want to ask you what you think of the polar bear that's come to the veld.

"I really don't know," expressed Mister Snake. "I didn't know about any polar bear. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," demanded Mrs. Quail resignedly. "I heard that this polar bear likes to prune roses."

"Um, I don't know what to say," insisted Mister Snake, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Quail, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the veld when we get a lot of polar bears pruning roses?"

"I can't imagine," phrased Mister Snake.

"What are we going to do about it?" shuddered Mrs. Quail.

"Appoint a committee?" maintained Mister Snake, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Quail had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Quail positively. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," bawled Mister Snake strangely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Quail accidentally. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," fretted Mister Snake obediently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the toilet on his front porch, looking out over the veld and getting upset. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Quail. Do come again."

"Just a minute," bellowed Mrs. Quail neatly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Snake thought he had answered, and was beginning to get lazy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Quail doing these days?"

Mrs. Quail would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Snake sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied hungrily.