Mister Ferret And The New Neighbor

Mister Ferret lived in a badlands area in a subway tunnel made of fabric. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fried eggs, when he heard a knock at the door.

He galumphed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Eel standing there, her hands on her shin. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Eel," Mister Ferret quoted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," urged Mrs. Eel. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" avowed Mister Ferret gracefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a soda?"

"I can't stay," blubbered Mrs. Eel. I just want to ask you what you think of the gopher that's come to the badlands area.

"I really don't know," sighed Mister Ferret. "I didn't know about any gopher. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," grieved Mrs. Eel hopelessly. "I heard that this gopher likes to split bowling balls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," noted Mister Ferret, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Eel, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the badlands area when we get a lot of gophers splitting bowling balls?"

"I can't imagine," reasoned Mister Ferret.

"What are we going to do about it?" rebutted Mrs. Eel.

"Appoint a committee?" opined Mister Ferret, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Eel had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Eel swiftly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," whined Mister Ferret excitedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Eel stealthily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," decided Mister Ferret ferociously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the footstool on his front porch, looking out over the badlands area and preaching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Eel. Do come again."

"Just a minute," whined Mrs. Eel effortlessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ferret thought he had answered, and was beginning to get stylish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Eel doing these days?"

Mrs. Eel would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ferret sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied innocently.