Mister Spider And The New Neighbor

Mister Spider lived at an oasis in a parsonage made of twigs. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pizza, when he heard a knock at the door.

He careened to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Shrew standing there, his hands on his buttocks. "How nice to see you, Mister Shrew," Mister Spider simpered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," informed Mister Shrew. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" indicated Mister Spider briskly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Cuba libre?"

"I can't stay," smiled Mister Shrew. I just want to ask you what you think of the aardvark that's come to the oasis.

"I really don't know," howled Mister Spider. "I didn't know about any aardvark. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," groaned Mister Shrew sadly. "I heard that this aardvark likes to whip rolls of duct tape."

"Um, I don't know what to say," snorted Mister Spider, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Shrew, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the oasis when we get a lot of aardvarks whipping rolls of duct tape?"

"I can't imagine," intimated Mister Spider.

"What are we going to do about it?" persisted Mister Shrew.

"Appoint a committee?" laughed Mister Spider, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Shrew had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Shrew kindly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," shrieked Mister Spider haughtily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Shrew victoriously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," blurted Mister Spider softly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the counter on his front porch, looking out over the oasis and freaking out. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Shrew. Do come again."

"Just a minute," voiced Mister Shrew grandly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Spider thought he had answered, and was beginning to get energetic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Shrew doing these days?"

Mister Shrew would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Spider sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied lovingly.