Mister Hog And The New Neighbor

Mister Hog lived in a badlands area in a spa made of precious gems. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover dirty rice, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tiptoed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Weasel standing there, his hands on his nostril. "How nice to see you, Mister Weasel," Mister Hog answered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," indicated Mister Weasel. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" responded Mister Hog warily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Jack Daniel's?"

"I can't stay," analyzed Mister Weasel. I just want to ask you what you think of the mosquito that's come to the badlands area.

"I really don't know," noted Mister Hog. "I didn't know about any mosquito. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," reasoned Mister Weasel greedily. "I heard that this mosquito likes to unwrap bottles of perfume."

"Um, I don't know what to say," peeped Mister Hog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Weasel, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the badlands area when we get a lot of mosquitoes unwrapping bottles of perfume?"

"I can't imagine," avowed Mister Hog.

"What are we going to do about it?" opined Mister Weasel.

"Appoint a committee?" vowed Mister Hog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Weasel had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Weasel irritably. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," belched Mister Hog deliberately, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Weasel brightly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," requested Mister Hog daintily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the TV on his front porch, looking out over the badlands area and cheering up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Weasel. Do come again."

"Just a minute," trumpeted Mister Weasel gleefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Hog thought he had answered, and was beginning to get fearless. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Weasel doing these days?"

Mister Weasel would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Hog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied oddly.