Mister Hog And The New Neighbor

Mister Hog lived in a canyon in a wigwam made of junk cars. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mushroom quiche, when he heard a knock at the door.

He cantered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Tiger standing there, his hands on his esophagus. "How nice to see you, Mister Tiger," Mister Hog giggled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," whimpered Mister Tiger. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" acknowledged Mister Hog doubtfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Tom and Jerry?"

"I can't stay," queried Mister Tiger. I just want to ask you what you think of the dinosaur that's come to the canyon.

"I really don't know," raved Mister Hog. "I didn't know about any dinosaur. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," blustered Mister Tiger wildly. "I heard that this dinosaur likes to hang Van Goghs."

"Um, I don't know what to say," exclaimed Mister Hog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Tiger, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the canyon when we get a lot of dinosaurs hanging Van Goghs?"

"I can't imagine," screeched Mister Hog.

"What are we going to do about it?" sniffed Mister Tiger.

"Appoint a committee?" divulged Mister Hog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Tiger had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Tiger valiantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," tittered Mister Hog furiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Tiger ferociously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," interrupted Mister Hog dolorously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the settee on his front porch, looking out over the canyon and shriveling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Tiger. Do come again."

"Just a minute," belched Mister Tiger glibly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Hog thought he had answered, and was beginning to get cruel. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Tiger doing these days?"

Mister Tiger would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Hog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied angrily.