Mister Chihuahua And The New Neighbor

Mister Chihuahua lived on a mountain in a spa made of rubber. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover duck a l'orange, when he heard a knock at the door.

He clambered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Fox standing there, her hands on her earlobe. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Fox," Mister Chihuahua lamented, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," boasted Mrs. Fox. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" grieved Mister Chihuahua tearfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Alka-Seltzer?"

"I can't stay," boasted Mrs. Fox. I just want to ask you what you think of the porcupine that's come to the mountain.

"I really don't know," cajoled Mister Chihuahua. "I didn't know about any porcupine. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," laughed Mrs. Fox gently. "I heard that this porcupine likes to burn clarinets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," whispered Mister Chihuahua, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Fox, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountain when we get a lot of porcupines burning clarinets?"

"I can't imagine," repeated Mister Chihuahua.

"What are we going to do about it?" simpered Mrs. Fox.

"Appoint a committee?" brought up Mister Chihuahua, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Fox had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Fox ignobly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," asked Mister Chihuahua sorrowfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Fox sympathetically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," wept Mister Chihuahua nimbly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bookcase on his front porch, looking out over the mountain and scribbling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Fox. Do come again."

"Just a minute," explained Mrs. Fox mysteriously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Chihuahua thought he had answered, and was beginning to get adorable. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Fox doing these days?"

Mrs. Fox would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Chihuahua sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied ruefully.