Miss Badger And The New Neighbor

Miss Badger lived in a housing development in a subway tunnel made of metal. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover borscht, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sidled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Cow standing there, his hands on his hoof. "How nice to see you, Mister Cow," Miss Badger snarled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," called Mister Cow. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" sniffed Miss Badger properly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin and tonic?"

"I can't stay," queried Mister Cow. I just want to ask you what you think of the German Shepherd that's come to the housing development.

"I really don't know," bellowed Miss Badger. "I didn't know about any German Shepherd. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," swore Mister Cow bravely. "I heard that this German Shepherd likes to ruin bags of potato chips."

"Um, I don't know what to say," drawled Miss Badger, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cow, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the housing development when we get a lot of German Shepherds ruining bags of potato chips?"

"I can't imagine," opined Miss Badger.

"What are we going to do about it?" boomed Mister Cow.

"Appoint a committee?" opined Miss Badger, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cow had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cow merrily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spouted Miss Badger clumsily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cow ingeniously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," rationalized Miss Badger pityingly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the footstool on her front porch, looking out over the housing development and barfing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cow. Do come again."

"Just a minute," crooned Mister Cow sarcastically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Badger thought she had answered, and was beginning to get cute. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cow doing these days?"

Mister Cow would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Badger sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied humbly.