Miss Grasshopper And The New Neighbor

Miss Grasshopper lived on a steppe in an office made of cane. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chopped liver, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sauntered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Monkey standing there, her hands on her heart. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Monkey," Miss Grasshopper acknowledged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," persisted Mrs. Monkey. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" conversed Miss Grasshopper threateningly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Dr. Pepper?"

"I can't stay," asked Mrs. Monkey. I just want to ask you what you think of the ring-tailed lemur that's come to the steppe.

"I really don't know," laughed Miss Grasshopper. "I didn't know about any ring-tailed lemur. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," hummed Mrs. Monkey admiringly. "I heard that this ring-tailed lemur likes to blacken washrags."

"Um, I don't know what to say," trumpeted Miss Grasshopper, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Monkey, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the steppe when we get a lot of ring-tailed lemurs blackening washrags?"

"I can't imagine," observed Miss Grasshopper.

"What are we going to do about it?" demanded Mrs. Monkey.

"Appoint a committee?" revealed Miss Grasshopper, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Monkey had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Monkey obediently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," retorted Miss Grasshopper numbly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Monkey confidently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," inquired Miss Grasshopper quickly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the toilet on her front porch, looking out over the steppe and humming. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Monkey. Do come again."

"Just a minute," whispered Mrs. Monkey dubiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Grasshopper thought she had answered, and was beginning to get vile. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Monkey doing these days?"

Mrs. Monkey would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Grasshopper sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied ingeniously.