Mister Cockroach And The New Neighbor

Mister Cockroach lived on a hillside in a Spanish colonial made of plasma. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover jambalaya, when he heard a knock at the door.

He pranced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Ghost standing there, his hands on his skull. "How nice to see you, Mister Ghost," Mister Cockroach murmured, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," asserted Mister Ghost. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" debated Mister Cockroach bitterly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," acknowledged Mister Ghost. I just want to ask you what you think of the mule that's come to the hillside.

"I really don't know," grieved Mister Cockroach. "I didn't know about any mule. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," recited Mister Ghost breathlessly. "I heard that this mule likes to liquify buttons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," jeered Mister Cockroach, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Ghost, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hillside when we get a lot of mules liquifying buttons?"

"I can't imagine," interrupted Mister Cockroach.

"What are we going to do about it?" wondered Mister Ghost.

"Appoint a committee?" cried Mister Cockroach, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Ghost had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Ghost resignedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," yammered Mister Cockroach clumsily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Ghost solemnly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," snorted Mister Cockroach gratefully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the nightstand on his front porch, looking out over the hillside and raising an eyebrow. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Ghost. Do come again."

"Just a minute," wept Mister Ghost crazily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Cockroach thought he had answered, and was beginning to get maniacal. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Ghost doing these days?"

Mister Ghost would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Cockroach sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied confidently.