Miss Gerbil And The New Neighbor

Miss Gerbil lived in a rainforest in a sod house made of Bakelite. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mushroom quiche, when she heard a knock at the door.

She dove to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Hermit crab standing there, his hands on his shoulder. "How nice to see you, Mister Hermit crab," Miss Gerbil imitated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," rebutted Mister Hermit crab. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" amended Miss Gerbil confidently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a latte?"

"I can't stay," exclaimed Mister Hermit crab. I just want to ask you what you think of the reindeer that's come to the rainforest.

"I really don't know," snarled Miss Gerbil. "I didn't know about any reindeer. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," acknowledged Mister Hermit crab unnaturally. "I heard that this reindeer likes to drench file folders."

"Um, I don't know what to say," burbled Miss Gerbil, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Hermit crab, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the rainforest when we get a lot of reindeer drenching file folders?"

"I can't imagine," mentioned Miss Gerbil.

"What are we going to do about it?" simpered Mister Hermit crab.

"Appoint a committee?" pleaded Miss Gerbil, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Hermit crab had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Hermit crab ingeniously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," simpered Miss Gerbil later, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Hermit crab sourly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," intoned Miss Gerbil smoothly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the ironing board on her front porch, looking out over the rainforest and seething. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Hermit crab. Do come again."

"Just a minute," noted Mister Hermit crab elatedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Gerbil thought she had answered, and was beginning to get precocious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Hermit crab doing these days?"

Mister Hermit crab would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Gerbil sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied blissfully.