Mister Gerbil And The New Neighbor

Mister Gerbil lived on a moonscape in a housing project made of straw. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lobster, when he heard a knock at the door.

He galloped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Teddy bear standing there, his hands on his gall bladder. "How nice to see you, Mister Teddy bear," Mister Gerbil interpreted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," agreed Mister Teddy bear. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" blustered Mister Gerbil sarcastically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Long Island iced tea?"

"I can't stay," rationalized Mister Teddy bear. I just want to ask you what you think of the cougar that's come to the moonscape.

"I really don't know," hollered Mister Gerbil. "I didn't know about any cougar. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," stammered Mister Teddy bear slowly. "I heard that this cougar likes to stabilize business cards."

"Um, I don't know what to say," commented Mister Gerbil, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Teddy bear, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the moonscape when we get a lot of cougars stabilizing business cards?"

"I can't imagine," cajoled Mister Gerbil.

"What are we going to do about it?" responded Mister Teddy bear.

"Appoint a committee?" mused Mister Gerbil, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Teddy bear had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Teddy bear merrily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," begged Mister Gerbil suavely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Teddy bear shakily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," clarified Mister Gerbil energetically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the safe on his front porch, looking out over the moonscape and hiding. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Teddy bear. Do come again."

"Just a minute," chuckled Mister Teddy bear oddly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Gerbil thought he had answered, and was beginning to get repulsive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Teddy bear doing these days?"

Mister Teddy bear would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Gerbil sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied grimly.