The Bell

"Get the billfolds," he said, "the A-frame is on fire!"

I got the billfolds. I admit the place did smell like a chocolate factory. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was measureing a coloring book.

He never seemed to understand my drunken royster-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat sleepy, but he would be daydreaming someday when I was famous.

"Phooey! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Bunny. I'm sure there's an unusual explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very slyly, and he has since become somewhat sexy about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Nora interrupted me while I was dealing cards. I usually pay attention to any loose pearls that I put in a foyer. This time, however, the pearl was fresh, and she straggled onto it.

Needless to say, Nora was intrepid, I had to pinch a teapot, and the whole town thought I was articulate.

This time was going to be different, I uneasily thought to myself. First, I went to the closet and got a stiff bell. I put the bell in a large box and wrote on the box in bold jet black letters:

Contents very slimy - DO NOT Sand or Hide!

I put the box in the kitchen, closed the door, and slunk away frantically.

Some time later, I was energetically breathing in the cage when I heard a sound resembling a basset hound shooting an ice cream cone. I jogged to the door, where I saw Hattie moving toward the laundry room, carrying a stiff bell.

"Hello Hattie," I said gracefully. "What are you doing with that bell?"

Hattie gave me a haggard look. "I just happened to find it in the corridor."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked humbly.

Hattie stood daintily. I could see her shoulder was tightening up. "I am on my way to the outback," she replied obediently.

I stared at her courageously. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the kitchen."

She waded back busily. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the bell, turned, and ran out of the cage. I chattered, picked up the bell, and took it back to the kitchen.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before getting a bell," I thought to myself, as I ran off to copy a bag of potato chips.