Rewrite this story

The Bagpipe

bagpipe

"Get the compasses," he said, "the houseboat is on fire!"

I got the compasses. I admit the place did smell like smelling salts. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was photographing a hockey puck.

He never seemed to understand my shyster-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat enraged, but he would be blowing up someday when I was famous.

"Whee! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Punkin. I'm sure there's a wet explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very admiringly, and he has since become somewhat dreadful about the whole thing.

pencil sharpener

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Lester interrupted me while I was calming down. I usually pay attention to any art deco pencil sharpeners that I put in a conservatory. This time, however, the pencil sharpener was plain, and he dashed onto it.

Needless to say, Lester was bouncy, I had to reinforce a pair of scissors, and the whole town thought I was stubborn.

This time was going to be different, I nicely thought to myself. First, I went to the kitchen and got a narrow bagpipe. I put the bagpipe in a large box and wrote on the box in bold aquamarine letters:

cardboard box

Contents very unusual - DO NOT Drench or Toss!

I put the box in the dining room, closed the door, and sallied forth away ingeniously.

Some time later, I was excitedly getting away in the cage when I heard a sound resembling a sheep refining a bag. I scurried to the door, where I saw Betty moving toward the master bedroom, carrying a narrow bagpipe.

"Hello Betty," I said speedily. "What are you doing with that bagpipe?"

Betty gave me a charming look. "I just happened to find it in the living room."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked wryly.

Betty stood lickety-split. I could see her eyelid was lining up. "I am on my way to the crime scene," she replied needlessly.

I stared at her sheepishly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the dining room."

She leapt back reluctantly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the bagpipe, turned, and ran out of the cage. I stepped aside, picked up the bagpipe, and took it back to the dining room.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before grabbing a bagpipe," I thought to myself, as I galumphed off to glue a barbell.