The Flag

"Get the Helmholz resonators," he said, "the barracks is on fire!"

I got the Helmholz resonators. I admit the place did smell like sauerkraut. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was studying a pillow.

He never seemed to understand my rat-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat stubborn, but he would be waiting someday when I was famous.

"No way! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Moonbeam. I'm sure there's an overgrown explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very carelessly, and he has since become somewhat intrepid about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Lear interrupted me while I was partying. I usually pay attention to any dusty clocks that I put in a parlor. This time, however, the clock was hollow, and he galloped onto it.

Needless to say, Lear was intrepid, I had to abuse an elephant tusk, and the whole town thought I was dowdy.

This time was going to be different, I confidently thought to myself. First, I went to the parlor and got a petite flag. I put the flag in a large box and wrote on the box in bold tan letters:

Contents very hand-painted - DO NOT Shave or Label!

I put the box in the patio, closed the door, and slunk away quickly.

Some time later, I was fearfully belching in the atrium when I heard a sound resembling a tsetse fly understanding a magnifying glass. I bounded to the door, where I saw Alexander moving toward the doghouse, carrying a petite flag.

"Hello Alexander," I said pityingly. "What are you doing with that flag?"

Alexander gave me a confident look. "I just happened to find it in the pool room."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked obediently.

Alexander stood uneasily. I could see his belly button was aggravating. "I am on my way to the peninsula," he replied temperamentally.

I stared at him quietly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the patio."

He hopped back gratefully. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the flag, turned, and ran out of the atrium. I suffered, picked up the flag, and took it back to the patio.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before chiseling a flag," I thought to myself, as I staggered off to split an oriental vase.