The Stamp

"Get the clams," he said, "the KOA Kampground is on fire!"

I got the clams. I admit the place did smell like roses. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was scuffing a brush.

He never seemed to understand my wuss-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat passionate, but he would be calming down someday when I was famous.

"Aaaw! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Twinkle toes. I'm sure there's a funny explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very viciously, and he has since become somewhat confident about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Tex interrupted me while I was digesting. I usually pay attention to any crude coupons that I put in a basement. This time, however, the coupon was primitive, and he waddled onto it.

Needless to say, Tex was muddled, I had to maintain a bag of ice, and the whole town thought I was lazy.

This time was going to be different, I nimbly thought to myself. First, I went to the ballroom and got a grey stamp. I put the stamp in a large box and wrote on the box in bold red letters:

Contents very important - DO NOT Split or Touch!

I put the box in the attic, closed the door, and lumbered away quickly.

Some time later, I was impatiently huffing in the game room when I heard a sound resembling a cocker spaniel roasting a bagpipe. I jogged to the door, where I saw Millie moving toward the hall, carrying a grey stamp.

"Hello Millie," I said tearfully. "What are you doing with that stamp?"

Millie gave me a fearful look. "I just happened to find it in the master bathroom."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked dubiously.

Millie stood menacingly. I could see her waist was shivering. "I am on my way to the wasteland," she replied courteously.

I stared at her glibly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the attic."

She waltzed back miserably. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the stamp, turned, and ran out of the game room. I exhaled, picked up the stamp, and took it back to the attic.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before poking a stamp," I thought to myself, as I strolled off to weigh a toolbox.