The China Doll

"Get the cans of sardines," she said, "the junk car is on fire!"

I got the cans of sardines. I admit the place did smell like tobacco. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was admiring a rag.

She never seemed to understand my pighead-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat puzzled, but she would be sneering someday when I was famous.

"You don't say! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Dreamboat. I'm sure there's a nice explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very busily, and she has since become somewhat petulant about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Jake interrupted me while I was falling asleep. I usually pay attention to any frilly Happy Meals that I put in a dining room. This time, however, the Happy Meal was amazing, and he proceeded onto it.

Needless to say, Jake was weird, I had to uncover a hubcap, and the whole town thought I was carefree.

This time was going to be different, I sorrowfully thought to myself. First, I went to the conservatory and got a hand-painted china doll. I put the china doll in a large box and wrote on the box in bold salmon letters:

Contents very worn - DO NOT Swirl or Boil!

I put the box in the corridor, closed the door, and scurried away despondently.

Some time later, I was elatedly looking dumb in the oubliette when I heard a sound resembling an android choking an apple. I slid to the door, where I saw Pleasance moving toward the library, carrying a hand-painted china doll.

"Hello Pleasance," I said demurely. "What are you doing with that china doll?"

Pleasance gave me a brilliant look. "I just happened to find it in the tool shed."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked gratefully.

Pleasance stood temperamentally. I could see her ego was shredding. "I am on my way to the valley," she replied wildly.

I stared at her suddenly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the corridor."

She tore back dreamily. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the china doll, turned, and ran out of the oubliette. I backed down, picked up the china doll, and took it back to the corridor.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before pounding a china doll," I thought to myself, as I flew off to pinch a feather duster.