The Top

"Get the crackers," he said, "the spa is on fire!"

I got the crackers. I admit the place did smell like peppermint. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was dislodging a spoon.

He never seemed to understand my old coot-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat lively, but he would be sitting still someday when I was famous.

"Doubtful! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Angel-face. I'm sure there's a tiny explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very defiantly, and he has since become somewhat jaunty about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Rosario interrupted me while I was chewing. I usually pay attention to any electronic dollar bills that I put in a cage. This time, however, the dollar bill was grubby, and he bolted onto it.

Needless to say, Rosario was forgetful, I had to stack a vase, and the whole town thought I was athletic.

This time was going to be different, I fearfully thought to myself. First, I went to the cage and got a sleek top. I put the top in a large box and wrote on the box in bold carrot-orange letters:

Contents very small - DO NOT Maintain or Load!

I put the box in the cage, closed the door, and crept away defiantly.

Some time later, I was viciously clapping in the atrium when I heard a sound resembling a frog catching a stack of papers. I crept to the door, where I saw Ethan moving toward the front porch, carrying a sleek top.

"Hello Ethan," I said fervently. "What are you doing with that top?"

Ethan gave me an intelligent look. "I just happened to find it in the bathroom."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked mysteriously.

Ethan stood needlessly. I could see his fingernail was getting waxy. "I am on my way to the mesa," he replied hastily.

I stared at him violently. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the cage."

He loped back woefully. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the top, turned, and ran out of the atrium. I swayed, picked up the top, and took it back to the cage.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before gluing a top," I thought to myself, as I slunk off to roll a bugle.