The Statue

"Get the ice cream cones," she said, "the Spanish colonial is on fire!"

I got the ice cream cones. I admit the place did smell like apple pie. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was wiping a flower.

She never seemed to understand my imp-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat childish, but she would be spitting someday when I was famous.

"Whoopee! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Patootie. I'm sure there's a damp explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very delicately, and she has since become somewhat blubbery about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Griselda interrupted me while I was squeaking. I usually pay attention to any polka-dotted dictionaries that I put in a tool shed. This time, however, the dictionary was sophisticated, and she jogged onto it.

Needless to say, Griselda was excitable, I had to spin a baton, and the whole town thought I was prissy.

This time was going to be different, I dubiously thought to myself. First, I went to the foyer and got a rare statue. I put the statue in a large box and wrote on the box in bold terra cotta letters:

Contents very fluffy - DO NOT Squash or Sand!

I put the box in the billiard room, closed the door, and paraded away accidentally.

Some time later, I was sympathetically blowing up in the rec room when I heard a sound resembling a hornet unfolding a paper towel. I swaggered to the door, where I saw Kay moving toward the tool shed, carrying a rare statue.

"Hello Kay," I said joyously. "What are you doing with that statue?"

Kay gave me an eccentric look. "I just happened to find it in the porch."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked angrily.

Kay stood quietly. I could see her shoulder was withering. "I am on my way to the village," she replied arrogantly.

I stared at her hopefully. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the billiard room."

She rushed back shakily. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the statue, turned, and ran out of the rec room. I blew up, picked up the statue, and took it back to the billiard room.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before reviewing a statue," I thought to myself, as I slithered off to soften a bagpipe.