The Rag

"Get the pinwheels," he said, "the castle is on fire!"

I got the pinwheels. I admit the place did smell like hamburgers. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was controlling a water bottle.

He never seemed to understand my dip-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat frantic, but he would be fantasizing someday when I was famous.

"Petunia! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Stinkums. I'm sure there's a funny explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very carelessly, and he has since become somewhat desperate about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Brooke interrupted me while I was applauding. I usually pay attention to any smumpy canes that I put in a lounge. This time, however, the cane was fancy, and she stalked onto it.

Needless to say, Brooke was haughty, I had to modify a chain, and the whole town thought I was moody.

This time was going to be different, I joyously thought to myself. First, I went to the solarium and got an old rag. I put the rag in a large box and wrote on the box in bold hot pink letters:

Contents very smelly - DO NOT Finish or Hoist!

I put the box in the kitchen, closed the door, and slumped away frantically.

Some time later, I was glumly squinting in the boudoir when I heard a sound resembling a macaque pounding a candy cane. I loped to the door, where I saw Jan moving toward the study, carrying an old rag.

"Hello Jan," I said courageously. "What are you doing with that rag?"

Jan gave me a stylish look. "I just happened to find it in the tool shed."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked breathlessly.

Jan stood deftly. I could see her shin was wandering. "I am on my way to the dumpster," she replied immediately.

I stared at her quietly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the kitchen."

She proceeded back fearlessly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the rag, turned, and ran out of the boudoir. I got rigid, picked up the rag, and took it back to the kitchen.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before experiencing a rag," I thought to myself, as I sped off to kick a stamp.