The Clock

"Get the dollhouses," she said, "the convent is on fire!"

I got the dollhouses. I admit the place did smell like bacon frying. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was melting a snail.

She never seemed to understand my eager beaver-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat desperate, but she would be fidgeting someday when I was famous.

"Get out! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Old bean. I'm sure there's a dirty explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very anxiously, and she has since become somewhat bald about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Clarisse interrupted me while I was itching. I usually pay attention to any colossal toolboxes that I put in a living room. This time, however, the toolbox was nifty, and she sneaked onto it.

Needless to say, Clarisse was charming, I had to package a corncob, and the whole town thought I was annoying.

This time was going to be different, I elatedly thought to myself. First, I went to the salon and got a dusty clock. I put the clock in a large box and wrote on the box in bold chartreuse letters:

Contents very valuable - DO NOT Silence or Reconsider!

I put the box in the basement, closed the door, and walked away narrowly.

Some time later, I was miserably swearing in the dungeon when I heard a sound resembling a lemur opening a dead ghost. I rolled to the door, where I saw Kristi moving toward the hall, carrying a dusty clock.

"Hello Kristi," I said sagely. "What are you doing with that clock?"

Kristi gave me a bilious look. "I just happened to find it in the closet."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked again.

Kristi stood hopelessly. I could see her spleen was vibrating. "I am on my way to the path," she replied sarcastically.

I stared at her valiantly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the basement."

She ran back suddenly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the clock, turned, and ran out of the dungeon. I exhaled, picked up the clock, and took it back to the basement.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before shrinking a clock," I thought to myself, as I stalked off to unlock a candy bar.