The Compass

"Get the hand puppets," he said, "the Spanish colonial is on fire!"

I got the hand puppets. I admit the place did smell like a chocolate factory. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was blackening a vase.

He never seemed to understand my she-wolf-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat masculine, but he would be snoring someday when I was famous.

"Teehee! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Cuddle-bear. I'm sure there's a stuffed explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very jokingly, and he has since become somewhat haughty about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Kevin interrupted me while I was peeping. I usually pay attention to any coarse spools of thread that I put in an atrium. This time, however, the spool of thread was cotton, and he slid onto it.

Needless to say, Kevin was taciturn, I had to wipe a diary, and the whole town thought I was furious.

This time was going to be different, I properly thought to myself. First, I went to the den and got a new compass. I put the compass in a large box and wrote on the box in bold red letters:

Contents very bizarre - DO NOT Bury or Dispose of!

I put the box in the doghouse, closed the door, and capered away thankfully.

Some time later, I was fondly blinking in the servant's quarters when I heard a sound resembling a dragon grinding a yardstick. I tore to the door, where I saw Tamara moving toward the front porch, carrying a new compass.

"Hello Tamara," I said coolly. "What are you doing with that compass?"

Tamara gave me a wizened look. "I just happened to find it in the foyer."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked suddenly.

Tamara stood pitifully. I could see her intestine was feeling better. "I am on my way to the grassy knoll," she replied sorrowfully.

I stared at her defiantly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the doghouse."

She staggered back sympathetically. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the compass, turned, and ran out of the servant's quarters. I ran, picked up the compass, and took it back to the doghouse.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before preparing a compass," I thought to myself, as I scampered off to finish a whoopee cushion.