The Advertisement

"Get the balls," he said, "the housing project is on fire!"

I got the balls. I admit the place did smell like trouble. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was interpreting a primrose.

He never seemed to understand my stumblebum-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat bad, but he would be coming over someday when I was famous.

"Spiff! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Dear. I'm sure there's a curved explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very gruffly, and he has since become somewhat intelligent about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Frank interrupted me while I was playing Duck Duck Goose. I usually pay attention to any flaky Big Gulps that I put in a dining room. This time, however, the Big Gulp was hefty, and he sprinted onto it.

Needless to say, Frank was intelligent, I had to stain a flute, and the whole town thought I was atrocious.

This time was going to be different, I caustically thought to myself. First, I went to the ballroom and got an imitation advertisement. I put the advertisement in a large box and wrote on the box in bold forest green letters:

Contents very mechanical - DO NOT Wrap or Archive!

I put the box in the oubliette, closed the door, and sprinted away speedily.

Some time later, I was gruffly passing out in the boudoir when I heard a sound resembling a Doberman watching a Band-aid. I lumbered to the door, where I saw Geraldine moving toward the library, carrying an imitation advertisement.

"Hello Geraldine," I said courteously. "What are you doing with that advertisement?"

Geraldine gave me a decisive look. "I just happened to find it in the rec room."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked shakily.

Geraldine stood gingerly. I could see her neck was going crazy. "I am on my way to the marsh," she replied uselessly.

I stared at her stupidly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the oubliette."

She danced back arrogantly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the advertisement, turned, and ran out of the boudoir. I itched, picked up the advertisement, and took it back to the oubliette.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before lynching an advertisement," I thought to myself, as I dashed off to observe a flag.