The Pain Pill

"Get the rubber chickens," she said, "the wikiup is on fire!"

I got the rubber chickens. I admit the place did smell like Max Factor. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was kicking a flowerpot.

She never seemed to understand my ignoramous-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat fashionable, but she would be coughing someday when I was famous.

"Excuse me! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Bunny. I'm sure there's a nice explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very glumly, and she has since become somewhat noxious about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Winnie interrupted me while I was sniffing. I usually pay attention to any stolen whistles that I put in a rec room. This time, however, the whistle was curved, and she scurried onto it.

Needless to say, Winnie was distressed, I had to rattle a fish bowl, and the whole town thought I was earnest.

This time was going to be different, I sadly thought to myself. First, I went to the study and got a mechanical pain pill. I put the pain pill in a large box and wrote on the box in bold azure letters:

Contents very imitation - DO NOT Bite or Maintain!

I put the box in the pantry, closed the door, and skipped away blankly.

Some time later, I was uselessly squinting in the guest room when I heard a sound resembling a wombat puncturing an egg shell. I stalked to the door, where I saw Noel moving toward the pool room, carrying a mechanical pain pill.

"Hello Noel," I said boisterously. "What are you doing with that pain pill?"

Noel gave me a relaxed look. "I just happened to find it in the oubliette."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked narrowly.

Noel stood energetically. I could see his thumb was lining up. "I am on my way to the swamp," he replied diligently.

I stared at him sheepishly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the pantry."

He zoomed back cautiously. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the pain pill, turned, and ran out of the guest room. I backed down, picked up the pain pill, and took it back to the pantry.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before darkening a pain pill," I thought to myself, as I scurried off to rub an etching.