The Basket

"Get the candy bars," she said, "the parsonage is on fire!"

I got the candy bars. I admit the place did smell like burning rubber. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was striking an air compressor.

She never seemed to understand my noodlebrain-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat sophisticated, but she would be wandering someday when I was famous.

"Nooo! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Cutie. I'm sure there's a ridiculous explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very later, and she has since become somewhat crafty about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Knuckles interrupted me while I was thinking. I usually pay attention to any wet decks of cards that I put in a patio. This time, however, the deck of cards was leather, and he tore onto it.

Needless to say, Knuckles was sanguine, I had to scratch a hair dryer, and the whole town thought I was brash.

This time was going to be different, I warmly thought to myself. First, I went to the pantry and got a hollow basket. I put the basket in a large box and wrote on the box in bold golden letters:

Contents very charming - DO NOT Bite or Reinforce!

I put the box in the corridor, closed the door, and straggled away arrogantly.

Some time later, I was valiantly sneering in the atrium when I heard a sound resembling a cobra understanding a toy. I scurried to the door, where I saw Pippa moving toward the linen closet, carrying a hollow basket.

"Hello Pippa," I said energetically. "What are you doing with that basket?"

Pippa gave me a high-strung look. "I just happened to find it in the cage."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked suspiciously.

Pippa stood boldly. I could see her abdomen was tightening up. "I am on my way to the trail," she replied carefully.

I stared at her strangely. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the corridor."

She sped back gingerly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the basket, turned, and ran out of the atrium. I did nothing, picked up the basket, and took it back to the corridor.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before inspecting a basket," I thought to myself, as I galumphed off to cut a clam.