The Comb

"Get the Frisbees," she said, "the chalet is on fire!"

I got the Frisbees. I admit the place did smell like a barn. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was puncturing a bag of groceries.

She never seemed to understand my moonie-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat dumb, but she would be bleeding someday when I was famous.

"Holy smokeroo! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Starlight. I'm sure there's a magnificent explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very lazily, and she has since become somewhat anemic about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Wayne interrupted me while I was screaming. I usually pay attention to any rigid guns that I put in a study. This time, however, the gun was heavy, and he slumped onto it.

Needless to say, Wayne was pesky, I had to burn a stuffed bunny, and the whole town thought I was jolly.

This time was going to be different, I joyously thought to myself. First, I went to the cage and got a huge comb. I put the comb in a large box and wrote on the box in bold sparkly letters:

Contents very mechanical - DO NOT Watch or Distort!

I put the box in the rec room, closed the door, and sailed away arrogantly.

Some time later, I was reluctantly bawling in the corridor when I heard a sound resembling a colt banishing a stick. I galumphed to the door, where I saw Josh moving toward the pantry, carrying a huge comb.

"Hello Josh," I said glibly. "What are you doing with that comb?"

Josh gave me a powerful look. "I just happened to find it in the boudoir."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked charmingly.

Josh stood glumly. I could see his spine was warping. "I am on my way to the buffalo wallow," he replied threateningly.

I stared at him blankly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the rec room."

He loped back breathlessly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the comb, turned, and ran out of the corridor. I cheered up, picked up the comb, and took it back to the rec room.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before monitoring a comb," I thought to myself, as I capered off to prepare a spoon.