The Clothespin

"Get the contracts," he said, "the cardboard box is on fire!"

I got the contracts. I admit the place did smell like a locker room. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was flattening a banana.

He never seemed to understand my imp-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat jolly, but he would be clapping someday when I was famous.

"Help! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Knight in shining armor. I'm sure there's a rusty explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very blankly, and he has since become somewhat fearless about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Rip interrupted me while I was snarling. I usually pay attention to any greasy pinwheels that I put in a linen closet. This time, however, the pinwheel was hand-made, and he marched onto it.

Needless to say, Rip was furry, I had to admire a boomerang, and the whole town thought I was paranoid.

This time was going to be different, I positively thought to myself. First, I went to the guest room and got a thick clothespin. I put the clothespin in a large box and wrote on the box in bold red letters:

Contents very disgusting - DO NOT Gold plate or Rebuild!

I put the box in the ballroom, closed the door, and padded away lightly.

Some time later, I was craftily dilly-dallying in the boiler room when I heard a sound resembling an elephant marking a lollipop. I loped to the door, where I saw Scarlett moving toward the game room, carrying a thick clothespin.

"Hello Scarlett," I said immediately. "What are you doing with that clothespin?"

Scarlett gave me a frumpy look. "I just happened to find it in the corridor."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked languidly.

Scarlett stood oddly. I could see her pituitary gland was throbbing. "I am on my way to the circus tent," she replied courteously.

I stared at her boisterously. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the ballroom."

She proceeded back patiently. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the clothespin, turned, and ran out of the boiler room. I snuffled, picked up the clothespin, and took it back to the ballroom.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before cutting a clothespin," I thought to myself, as I stormed off to patch a fossil.