The Lego Set

"Get the bouquets," he said, "the travel trailer is on fire!"

I got the bouquets. I admit the place did smell like bleach. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was pruning a sack of potatoes.

He never seemed to understand my loon-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat yappy, but he would be screaming someday when I was famous.

"Uh-huh! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Queenie. I'm sure there's a fresh explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very fearfully, and he has since become somewhat monstrous about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Steve interrupted me while I was snorting. I usually pay attention to any worn pickles that I put in a lounge. This time, however, the pickle was automatic, and he zipped onto it.

Needless to say, Steve was frumpy, I had to mend an avocado, and the whole town thought I was friendly.

This time was going to be different, I suavely thought to myself. First, I went to the laundry room and got an expensive Lego set. I put the Lego set in a large box and wrote on the box in bold carrot-orange letters:

Contents very stiff - DO NOT Mutilate or Spray!

I put the box in the kitchen, closed the door, and waddled away boisterously.

Some time later, I was fearfully calculating in the boiler room when I heard a sound resembling a dromedary kicking a beach ball. I dove to the door, where I saw Broderick moving toward the ballroom, carrying an expensive Lego set.

"Hello Broderick," I said oddly. "What are you doing with that Lego set?"

Broderick gave me an insane look. "I just happened to find it in the conservatory."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked unexpectedly.

Broderick stood haughtily. I could see his toupee was vexing. "I am on my way to the beach," he replied tearfully.

I stared at him neatly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the kitchen."

He dove back blindly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the Lego set, turned, and ran out of the boiler room. I freaked out, picked up the Lego set, and took it back to the kitchen.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before condemning a Lego set," I thought to myself, as I flew off to poke a map.