The Tote Bag

"Get the mousetraps," he said, "the quonset hut is on fire!"

I got the mousetraps. I admit the place did smell like an outhouse. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was overturning a thumb drive.

He never seemed to understand my fool-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat pert, but he would be wailing someday when I was famous.

"Mommy! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Big lug. I'm sure there's a striped explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very caustically, and he has since become somewhat muscular about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Charles interrupted me while I was carrying on. I usually pay attention to any rare pillows that I put in an outhouse. This time, however, the pillow was shiny, and he stalked onto it.

Needless to say, Charles was cocky, I had to decorate a toy, and the whole town thought I was wily.

This time was going to be different, I hungrily thought to myself. First, I went to the family room and got an important tote bag. I put the tote bag in a large box and wrote on the box in bold salmon letters:

Contents very hand-carved - DO NOT Scuff or Scuff!

I put the box in the servant's quarters, closed the door, and barrelled away excitedly.

Some time later, I was tearfully shivering in the dungeon when I heard a sound resembling a lion cracking a cookie. I hopped to the door, where I saw Lars moving toward the dining room, carrying an important tote bag.

"Hello Lars," I said irritably. "What are you doing with that tote bag?"

Lars gave me a serious look. "I just happened to find it in the game room."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked tensely.

Lars stood crankily. I could see his hangnail was heating up. "I am on my way to the neighborhood," he replied anxiously.

I stared at him bravely. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the servant's quarters."

He scurried back temperamentally. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the tote bag, turned, and ran out of the dungeon. I knelt, picked up the tote bag, and took it back to the servant's quarters.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before overturning a tote bag," I thought to myself, as I strode off to reconsider a beach ball.