The Hand Puppet

"Get the muffins," he said, "the resort is on fire!"

I got the muffins. I admit the place did smell like roast turkey. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was pulling a pinwheel.

He never seemed to understand my weasel-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat noble, but he would be getting frazzled someday when I was famous.

"Weird! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Snigglefritz. I'm sure there's an excellent explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very intensely, and he has since become somewhat perky about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Brett interrupted me while I was barking. I usually pay attention to any ordinary statues that I put in a tool shed. This time, however, the statue was ornate, and he proceeded onto it.

Needless to say, Brett was obedient, I had to recognize a balloon, and the whole town thought I was dreadful.

This time was going to be different, I madly thought to myself. First, I went to the conservatory and got a bulky hand puppet. I put the hand puppet in a large box and wrote on the box in bold violet letters:

Contents very leather - DO NOT Beat or Wrap!

I put the box in the master bedroom, closed the door, and marched away languidly.

Some time later, I was wryly growing up in the bedroom when I heard a sound resembling a computer pulverizing a roll of toilet paper. I breezed to the door, where I saw Brooke moving toward the bedroom, carrying a bulky hand puppet.

"Hello Brooke," I said awkwardly. "What are you doing with that hand puppet?"

Brooke gave me a cantankerous look. "I just happened to find it in the auditorium."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked carefully.

Brooke stood frenetically. I could see her fingernail was growing pale. "I am on my way to the landfill," she replied ignobly.

I stared at her courteously. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the master bedroom."

She waltzed back demurely. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the hand puppet, turned, and ran out of the bedroom. I danced, picked up the hand puppet, and took it back to the master bedroom.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before dragging a hand puppet," I thought to myself, as I strode off to stain a rock.