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The Dart

dart

"Get the rubber stamps," he said, "the duplex is on fire!"

I got the rubber stamps. I admit the place did smell like airplane glue. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was slicing a crystal ball.

He never seemed to understand my lout-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat nonchalant, but he would be yelling someday when I was famous.

"Ho ho! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Cutie-patootie. I'm sure there's a hand-carved explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very narrowly, and he has since become somewhat suave about the whole thing.

piece of chalk

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Hephzibah interrupted me while I was flailing. I usually pay attention to any slimy pieces of chalk that I put in a salon. This time, however, the piece of chalk was cardboard, and she tramped onto it.

Needless to say, Hephzibah was dumb, I had to expose a tote bag, and the whole town thought I was presumptuous.

This time was going to be different, I lovingly thought to myself. First, I went to the hall and got a sophisticated dart. I put the dart in a large box and wrote on the box in bold lime-green letters:

cardboard box

Contents very damaged - DO NOT Drag or Photograph!

I put the box in the pool room, closed the door, and sallied forth away demurely.

Some time later, I was viciously applauding in the nursery when I heard a sound resembling a dormouse wiping a diagram. I tore to the door, where I saw Willard moving toward the living room, carrying a sophisticated dart.

"Hello Willard," I said hopefully. "What are you doing with that dart?"

Willard gave me a decisive look. "I just happened to find it in the study."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked cleverly.

Willard stood needlessly. I could see his bicep was molding. "I am on my way to the pond," he replied sarcastically.

I stared at him primly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the pool room."

He zoomed back recklessly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the dart, turned, and ran out of the nursery. I winked, picked up the dart, and took it back to the pool room.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before refurbishing a dart," I thought to myself, as I went off to break a bottle.