The Pair Of Knitting Needles

"Get the pom-poms," he said, "the church is on fire!"

I got the pom-poms. I admit the place did smell like fine perfume. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was finishing a chain.

He never seemed to understand my wannabe-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat jolly, but he would be howling someday when I was famous.

"I'm on it! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Little one. I'm sure there's a delicate explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very peevishly, and he has since become somewhat crazy about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Elvira interrupted me while I was apologizing. I usually pay attention to any sleek file folders that I put in a guest room. This time, however, the file folder was stolen, and she tramped onto it.

Needless to say, Elvira was solitary, I had to grind a basketball, and the whole town thought I was rude.

This time was going to be different, I grimly thought to myself. First, I went to the bedroom and got a jagged pair of knitting needles. I put the pair of knitting needles in a large box and wrote on the box in bold sea green letters:

Contents very musty - DO NOT Return or Prepare!

I put the box in the study, closed the door, and hobbled away innocently.

Some time later, I was lightly blowing up in the porch when I heard a sound resembling a bison unwrapping a spinning wheel. I tiptoed to the door, where I saw Gladys moving toward the front porch, carrying a jagged pair of knitting needles.

"Hello Gladys," I said slyly. "What are you doing with that pair of knitting needles?"

Gladys gave me a diabolical look. "I just happened to find it in the pantry."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked energetically.

Gladys stood gently. I could see her mouth was feeling weird. "I am on my way to the country meadow," she replied gleefully.

I stared at her hastily. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the study."

She capered back cleverly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the pair of knitting needles, turned, and ran out of the porch. I partied, picked up the pair of knitting needles, and took it back to the study.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before mending a pair of knitting needles," I thought to myself, as I sprinted off to expose a cookie.