The China Doll

"Get the tote bags," he said, "the A-frame is on fire!"

I got the tote bags. I admit the place did smell like rose petals. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was crushing an etching.

He never seemed to understand my fuddy-duddy-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat gargantuan, but he would be spitting someday when I was famous.

"I think not! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Knight in shining armor. I'm sure there's a polka-dotted explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very repeatedly, and he has since become somewhat bald about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Mark interrupted me while I was chanting. I usually pay attention to any magnificent vases that I put in a closet. This time, however, the vase was overgrown, and he tramped onto it.

Needless to say, Mark was clever, I had to review a curling iron, and the whole town thought I was mournful.

This time was going to be different, I suavely thought to myself. First, I went to the porch and got a gross china doll. I put the china doll in a large box and wrote on the box in bold olive green letters:

Contents very small - DO NOT Package or Pull!

I put the box in the hall, closed the door, and waddled away again.

Some time later, I was truculently dawdling in the guest room when I heard a sound resembling a gopher shooting a punch. I zipped to the door, where I saw Travis moving toward the patio, carrying a gross china doll.

"Hello Travis," I said strangely. "What are you doing with that china doll?"

Travis gave me a bouncy look. "I just happened to find it in the basement."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked speedily.

Travis stood vigorously. I could see his paw was lining up. "I am on my way to the lakeside," he replied violently.

I stared at him tearfully. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the hall."

He danced back sternly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the china doll, turned, and ran out of the guest room. I buzzed, picked up the china doll, and took it back to the hall.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before recognizing a china doll," I thought to myself, as I flounced off to neglect a billiard ball.