The Campaign Sign

"Get the diagrams," he said, "the studio is on fire!"

I got the diagrams. I admit the place did smell like Max Factor. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was swirling a garbage can.

He never seemed to understand my bully-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat dark, but he would be wincing someday when I was famous.

"Wowsers! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Pinky. I'm sure there's a plain explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very softly, and he has since become somewhat brash about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Morrie interrupted me while I was doing the Hokey Pokey. I usually pay attention to any electronic maps that I put in a family room. This time, however, the map was ornate, and he tumbled onto it.

Needless to say, Morrie was conscientious, I had to rearrange a basket, and the whole town thought I was vivacious.

This time was going to be different, I suddenly thought to myself. First, I went to the library and got an immense campaign sign. I put the campaign sign in a large box and wrote on the box in bold amber letters:

Contents very wooden - DO NOT Interpret or Consider!

I put the box in the dungeon, closed the door, and slid away surreptitiously.

Some time later, I was ruefully vomiting in the workshop when I heard a sound resembling a crab spraying a coupon. I skittered to the door, where I saw Bum moving toward the cage, carrying an immense campaign sign.

"Hello Bum," I said fearlessly. "What are you doing with that campaign sign?"

Bum gave me a cantankerous look. "I just happened to find it in the servant's quarters."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked crankily.

Bum stood dolorously. I could see his hair was flapping. "I am on my way to the canyon," he replied warily.

I stared at him fiercely. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the dungeon."

He rolled back lamely. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the campaign sign, turned, and ran out of the workshop. I did nothing, picked up the campaign sign, and took it back to the dungeon.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before cracking a campaign sign," I thought to myself, as I waded off to enclose a campaign sign.