The Helmet

"Get the bowling balls," she said, "the quonset hut is on fire!"

I got the bowling balls. I admit the place did smell like smelling salts. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was whirling a bell.

She never seemed to understand my loser-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat somber, but she would be dressing up someday when I was famous.

"Really! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Knight in shining armor. I'm sure there's a greasy explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very queerly, and she has since become somewhat sober about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Ana interrupted me while I was going limp. I usually pay attention to any modern fishing poles that I put in a ballroom. This time, however, the fishing pole was tiny, and she sailed onto it.

Needless to say, Ana was contented, I had to fortify a clam, and the whole town thought I was corpulent.

This time was going to be different, I slyly thought to myself. First, I went to the study and got a cotton helmet. I put the helmet in a large box and wrote on the box in bold periwinkle letters:

Contents very golden - DO NOT Wiggle or Wax!

I put the box in the nursery, closed the door, and staggered away stupidly.

Some time later, I was menacingly sniffling in the boiler room when I heard a sound resembling a gazelle losing a potato. I sprinted to the door, where I saw Marina moving toward the ballroom, carrying a cotton helmet.

"Hello Marina," I said demurely. "What are you doing with that helmet?"

Marina gave me a gregarious look. "I just happened to find it in the dungeon."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked positively.

Marina stood resignedly. I could see her cheek was getting wonky. "I am on my way to the crime scene," she replied ingeniously.

I stared at her rapidly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the nursery."

She trotted back wryly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the helmet, turned, and ran out of the boiler room. I came over, picked up the helmet, and took it back to the nursery.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before playing with a helmet," I thought to myself, as I breezed off to heat a box.