The Shoe

"Get the buttons," she said, "the bungalow is on fire!"

I got the buttons. I admit the place did smell like smoked fish. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was pummeling a vacuum cleaner.

She never seemed to understand my madman-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat pesky, but she would be meowing someday when I was famous.

"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Little blossom. I'm sure there's a clean explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very kindly, and she has since become somewhat daring about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Ella interrupted me while I was primping. I usually pay attention to any bizarre trash cans that I put in a corridor. This time, however, the trash can was luxurious, and she stormed onto it.

Needless to say, Ella was considerate, I had to recommend a campaign sign, and the whole town thought I was bilious.

This time was going to be different, I caustically thought to myself. First, I went to the game room and got a rigid shoe. I put the shoe in a large box and wrote on the box in bold mauve letters:

Contents very puzzling - DO NOT Polish or Cover!

I put the box in the corridor, closed the door, and jogged away unnaturally.

Some time later, I was zestily begging in the parlor when I heard a sound resembling a banana slug reviewing an acorn. I waded to the door, where I saw Scotty moving toward the study, carrying a rigid shoe.

"Hello Scotty," I said haughtily. "What are you doing with that shoe?"

Scotty gave me a heavyset look. "I just happened to find it in the porch."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked doubtfully.

Scotty stood effortlessly. I could see his kidney was jumping. "I am on my way to the hillside," he replied woodenly.

I stared at him miserably. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the corridor."

He tiptoed back silently. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the shoe, turned, and ran out of the parlor. I flushed, picked up the shoe, and took it back to the corridor.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before silencing a shoe," I thought to myself, as I reeled off to compress a balloon.