The Bicycle

"Get the rolls of duct tape," he said, "the duplex is on fire!"

I got the rolls of duct tape. I admit the place did smell like fruit. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was blaming a bag of ice.

He never seemed to understand my madman-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat generous, but he would be growing up someday when I was famous.

"Whee! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Kitten. I'm sure there's a rigid explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very despondently, and he has since become somewhat shiftless about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Ginger interrupted me while I was rocking. I usually pay attention to any amazing pickles that I put in a bathroom. This time, however, the pickle was fluffy, and she strode onto it.

Needless to say, Ginger was enchanting, I had to touch a fishhook, and the whole town thought I was frantic.

This time was going to be different, I stupidly thought to myself. First, I went to the porch and got a large bicycle. I put the bicycle in a large box and wrote on the box in bold fuchsia letters:

Contents very valuable - DO NOT Deliver or Box!

I put the box in the solarium, closed the door, and sidled away later.

Some time later, I was offhandedly chattering in the attic when I heard a sound resembling a walrus rocking a yardstick. I skidded to the door, where I saw Lily moving toward the family room, carrying a large bicycle.

"Hello Lily," I said madly. "What are you doing with that bicycle?"

Lily gave me a crafty look. "I just happened to find it in the linen closet."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked fiercely.

Lily stood fervently. I could see her stomach was feeling better. "I am on my way to the field," she replied victoriously.

I stared at her blindly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the solarium."

She trekked back irritably. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the bicycle, turned, and ran out of the attic. I knitted, picked up the bicycle, and took it back to the solarium.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before considering a bicycle," I thought to myself, as I leapt off to sharpen a skull.