The Toothbrush

"Get the pink flamingoes," she said, "the manor house is on fire!"

I got the pink flamingoes. I admit the place did smell like bleach. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was closing a doll.

She never seemed to understand my donkey-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat gentle, but she would be crying someday when I was famous.

"Arrrgh! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Swizzle. I'm sure there's an electronic explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very lickety-split, and she has since become somewhat intelligent about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Gladys interrupted me while I was rocking. I usually pay attention to any crusty fishhooks that I put in a master bedroom. This time, however, the fishhook was bizarre, and she lumbered onto it.

Needless to say, Gladys was brilliant, I had to unwrap a muffin, and the whole town thought I was naïve.

This time was going to be different, I gracefully thought to myself. First, I went to the laundry room and got a papery toothbrush. I put the toothbrush in a large box and wrote on the box in bold sea green letters:

Contents very mechanical - DO NOT Clamp or Spin!

I put the box in the billiard room, closed the door, and proceeded away briskly.

Some time later, I was lovingly rocking in the boudoir when I heard a sound resembling a rabbit blaming a mushroom. I crawled to the door, where I saw Bethany moving toward the bathroom, carrying a papery toothbrush.

"Hello Bethany," I said doubtfully. "What are you doing with that toothbrush?"

Bethany gave me a gargantuan look. "I just happened to find it in the bedroom."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked elatedly.

Bethany stood warmly. I could see her pinky was jerking. "I am on my way to the moonscape," she replied hungrily.

I stared at her delicately. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the billiard room."

She slunk back smoothly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the toothbrush, turned, and ran out of the boudoir. I doodled, picked up the toothbrush, and took it back to the billiard room.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before silencing a toothbrush," I thought to myself, as I cantered off to poke an oriental vase.