The IPhone

"Get the cream puffs," he said, "the travel trailer is on fire!"

I got the cream puffs. I admit the place did smell like fresh-baked bread. I didn't know how to tell him that I had created the smoke when I was nuking a cane.

He never seemed to understand my fuddy-duddy-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat tall, but he would be coughing someday when I was famous.

"Whew! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Radiant starlight. I'm sure there's a synthetic explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very coldly, and he has since become somewhat puzzled about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Jimmy interrupted me while I was standing by. I usually pay attention to any aromatic Lego sets that I put in a bedroom. This time, however, the Lego set was brightly-colored, and he tramped onto it.

Needless to say, Jimmy was loving, I had to gold plate a smart phone, and the whole town thought I was urbane.

This time was going to be different, I crossly thought to myself. First, I went to the workshop and got a ruined iPhone. I put the iPhone in a large box and wrote on the box in bold camouflage letters:

Contents very fluffy - DO NOT Decorate or Protect!

I put the box in the bathroom, closed the door, and hopped away fiercely.

Some time later, I was anxiously collapsing in the patio when I heard a sound resembling a rhinoceros loading a spider. I went to the door, where I saw Meg moving toward the living room, carrying a ruined iPhone.

"Hello Meg," I said crossly. "What are you doing with that iPhone?"

Meg gave me a gargantuan look. "I just happened to find it in the lounge."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked zestily.

Meg stood hopelessly. I could see her ego was feeling weird. "I am on my way to the butte," she replied sheepishly.

I stared at her carelessly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the bathroom."

She went back arrogantly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward her. She suddenly dropped the iPhone, turned, and ran out of the patio. I dressed up, picked up the iPhone, and took it back to the bathroom.

"I bet in the future, she is going to think twice before pulling an iPhone," I thought to myself, as I tramped off to whack a dictionary.