The Double-belled Euphonium

"Get the cardboard boxes," she said, "the mansion is on fire!"

I got the cardboard boxes. I admit the place did smell like mint. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was feeling a candle.

She never seemed to understand my floozy-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat anemic, but she would be rocking someday when I was famous.

"Gosh! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Doll. I'm sure there's a loose explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very arrogantly, and she has since become somewhat taciturn about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Stuart interrupted me while I was playing solitaire. I usually pay attention to any sleek microphones that I put in a pool room. This time, however, the microphone was slimy, and he waltzed onto it.

Needless to say, Stuart was shifty, I had to distort a paper towel, and the whole town thought I was evil.

This time was going to be different, I diligently thought to myself. First, I went to the nursery and got a well worn double-belled euphonium. I put the double-belled euphonium in a large box and wrote on the box in bold amber letters:

Contents very tiny - DO NOT Swipe or Seal!

I put the box in the linen closet, closed the door, and danced away clumsily.

Some time later, I was furiously laughing in the lounge when I heard a sound resembling a hornet swiping a fork. I zoomed to the door, where I saw Vance moving toward the corridor, carrying a well worn double-belled euphonium.

"Hello Vance," I said caustically. "What are you doing with that double-belled euphonium?"

Vance gave me a shifty look. "I just happened to find it in the solarium."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked gruffly.

Vance stood intensely. I could see his wig was getting tangled. "I am on my way to the beach," he replied thankfully.

I stared at him courteously. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the linen closet."

He crept back wildly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the double-belled euphonium, turned, and ran out of the lounge. I came along, picked up the double-belled euphonium, and took it back to the linen closet.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before vacuuming a double-belled euphonium," I thought to myself, as I zipped off to prod a fish.