Rewrite this story

Have An Awesome Holiday In Dallas!

This is your dream vacation! Your seven day visit to Dallas will be an unforgettable experience! You'll stay in a beautiful tent furnished with the finest hammocks and display cases. While in Dallas you'll want to visit the jails and of course the famous Oldfather Taco Shop, and you can see the church where Arnold Madison was born. You can spend hours at the fabulous striptease and the magic show. Be sure to take plenty of photos of the world's most amusing stapler to show your friends.

The gourmet dining is second to none. Go to Parisian Serpent for the Cabbage Rolls Soufflé, and you've got to try Chef Ross's Lobster Rockefeller at the Jade Coffee Shop.

There's plenty to do in Dallas, but if you want to get off the beaten path, you can get in a clown car and take an excursion to Ferguson's Treetop. It's perfect for the outdoorsy types, thanks to its earthquakes and downpours. You can spend a fun-filled day there raising flowers and mountain climbing.

After each exciting day, you'll want to pamper yourself at Drew's Synthetic Billiard Room, eating lime sherbet and drinking Tom and Jerrys while listening to live music by Jesus Ling and the Odd Boxes.

Sign up now, and we'll send you free of charge a unique grease gun made of cement as our thank you gift.

Cost is only $3810 per person.