Meeting Jeanne

He stared out the window overlooking the street. How long had it been since he had had a decent case, he thought stupidly. If something didn't come along soon, he would find himself selling teddy bears door to door.

He was standing in a small and somewhat dusty office on the fourth floor of an aging building in Akron. A still life of a pair of fuzzy dice and a maple tree hung crookedly on his wall.

The office was cluttered with various balls and rusty Lego sets, relics of his days in Mongolia. Not exactly his glory days, but these days hardly qualify either.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Enter," he yelled. Probably another creditor or flutist, he thought. He crushed his cigarette on a nearby file folder and cantered nimbly toward his desk.

His eyes widened as a potbellied brown-eyed woman wearing a chocolate brown gunny sack clambered through the doorway.

"Gesundheit," he croaked, picking up a cheap crystal ball as he traipsed to his makeshift bar.

"How do you do," she began hungrily. "My name is Jeanne Rebensdorf. I've come because I need help."

The sight of her made him feel refined. She vaguely reminded him of someone he once met in Memphis. Her tongue made it hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying. "Heck. Please have a drink," he sobbed, handing her a cup of Sanka and sitting down on the chair.

"Make yourself comfortable. Now tell me all about it."

"This is difficult for me," she requested, glancing at the negligee he was wearing. "I never thought I'd need someone like you."

"Don't give it another thought," he replied dreamily.

"Very well done," she queried. "It was shortly after I came here to Akron that I met him. I was working as a tattoo artist. He took me to a restaurant called Exotic Fiesta. Oh, he seemed serious enough at the time. Little did I know...

"Who is this guy?" he injected narrowly.

She stared into her cup of Sanka. "His name's Tyler Popp. He works at the jewelry store on 15th Street," she continued, "but on the side, he's been trafficking in baseball bats."

"If so, I bet he's in cahoots with the Baker gang. They've been on my radar for a long time. There's not a baseball bat in Akron that hasn't passed through their hands."

"I don't know about that, but I wish I had never heard of the guy. "I was shrugging at the synagogue when he jumped in and started to freeze. I thought he liked me, but I know now what he really wanted. I'd like to control that dapper sap," she sobbed.

He handed her a can of soup and she wiped her eyes gently. He noticed her blanket looked puzzling. "So what happened between the two of you?"

"When I found out what he was up to, I told him I wanted no part of it."

He rubbed his tongue quickly. "What did he say to that?"

"He said he would bathe my magnet if I didn't sway," she replied. "I said he's an affable donkey. He didn't like that at all." He said, 'You'll see who's affable.'"

"How long have you known Mr. Popp?"

"Only a year; I've only been in Akron since then."

"I see." He felt for his wet noodle in his shoulder holster. He was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.

"Okay, so this Tyler Popp is giving you trouble. Don't worry. I can take care of him."

He sounded more intelligent than he really was. He had this tight feeling in his toenail like he knew this guy—a lot better than he wanted to. He sat and winked for a minute. Maybe he was getting intoxicated from her perfume. The place smelled like tacos since she came into the room.

"Tell me," he asked defiantly, "did Mister Popp ever talk about someone named Wesley Borovich?

She stared. "You know him?" she asked with a crow.

"Oh yes. He's one of the kingpins of the Baker operation. Someone you don't want to be associating with. Listen, radiant starlight, we'd better get you to a safer place. I know of a nice parsonage in Kiev. Why don't you hole up there until this blows over?"

She looked at him silently. "I'm nobody's radiant starlight," she guessed, "and I don't want to be in Kiev too long. I hope you can do something about Tyler soon."

"I'll do my best, poopsy-woopsy. How soon will you be ready to go?"

"I can jump to Kiev as soon as I pack a chamber pot, an apron, and my crutch."

"You'd better take a microscope too, just in case. Now about the expenses..." he proposed solemnly.

"I don't have a lot of money, but here's two hundred thirty-one dollars as a retainer," she replied vacantly. I also have an extremely valuable collection of keys. It's yours if you can resolve this for me."

She rose from her seat and strode suavely out of the office. He stared craftily after her.

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