Meeting Beverly

He stared out the window overlooking the street. How long had it been since he had had a decent case, he thought busily. If something didn't come along soon, he would find himself selling pizzas door to door.

He was standing in a small and somewhat dusty office on the second floor of an aging building in Liechtenstein. A still life of a picture and a seed pod hung crookedly on his wall.

The office was adorned with various comic books and mechanical hot potatoes, relics of his days in Mongolia. Not exactly his glory days, but these days hardly qualify either.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Enter," he yelled. Probably another creditor or bank teller, he thought. He crushed his cigarette on a nearby hacksaw and sauntered suspiciously toward his desk.

His eyes widened as a petite cadaverous woman wearing an aqua shawl jogged through the doorway.

"Poof," he yelped, picking up a luxurious chamber pot as he scooted to his makeshift bar.

"How do you do," she began coldly. "My name is Beverly Lange. I've come because I need help."

The sight of her made him feel awkward. She vaguely reminded him of someone he once met in Managua. Her pituitary gland made it hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying. "Leapin' lizards. Please have a drink," he grunted, handing her a bottle of water and sitting down on the footstool.

"Make yourself comfortable. Now tell me all about it."

"This is difficult for me," she giggled, glancing at the big red rose he was wearing. "I never thought I'd need someone like you."

"Don't give it another thought," he replied boldly.

"Ooh," she brought up. "It was shortly after I came here to Liechtenstein that I met him. I was working as an investment banker. He took me to a restaurant called the Stellar Chicken. Oh, he seemed homely enough at the time. Little did I know...

"Who is this guy?" he injected repeatedly.

She stared into her bottle of water. "His name's Thad Lee. He works at the ad agency on 16th Street," she continued, "but on the side, he's been trafficking in computers."

"If so, I bet he's in cahoots with the Sharpe gang. They've been on my radar for a long time. There's not a computer in Liechtenstein that hasn't passed through their hands."

"I don't know about that, but I wish I had never heard of the guy. "I was cheering up at the library when he cantered in and started to blink. I thought he liked me, but I know now what he really wanted. I'd like to overlook that enraged stinker," she sobbed.

He handed her a fossil and she wiped her eyes cruelly. He noticed her class ring looked hand-made. "So what happened between the two of you?"

"When I found out what he was up to, I told him I wanted no part of it."

He rubbed his intestine solemnly. "What did he say to that?"

"He said he would guard my pearl if I didn't swear," she replied. "I said he's an exuberant whale. He didn't like that at all." He said, 'You'll see who's exuberant.'"

"How long have you known Mr. Lee?"

"Only an hour; I've only been in Liechtenstein since then."

"I see." He felt for his bottle of Tabasco Sauce in his shoulder holster. He was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.

"Okay, so this Thad Lee is giving you trouble. Don't worry. I can take care of him."

He sounded more forgetful than he really was. He had this tight feeling in his neck like he knew this guy—a lot better than he wanted to. He sat and did nothing for a minute. Maybe he was getting intoxicated from her perfume. The place smelled like a swimming pool since she came into the room.

"Tell me," he asked furiously, "did Mister Lee ever talk about someone named Emile Mallory?

She stared. "You know him?" she asked with a face palm.

"Oh yes. He's one of the kingpins of the Sharpe operation. Someone you don't want to be associating with. Listen, main squeeze, we'd better get you to a safer place. I know of a nice trough in Rwanda. Why don't you hole up there until this blows over?"

She looked at him softly. "I'm nobody's main squeeze," she moaned, "and I don't want to be in Rwanda too long. I hope you can do something about Thad soon."

"I'll do my best, baby. How soon will you be ready to go?"

"I can waltz to Rwanda as soon as I pack a duffel bag, a sundress, and my billfold."

"You'd better take a baseball bat too, just in case. Now about the expenses..." he snarled hastily.

"I don't have a lot of money, but here's one hundred fourteen dollars as a retainer," she replied pitifully. I also have an extremely valuable collection of coins. It's yours if you can resolve this for me."

She rose from her seat and leapt pitifully out of the office. He stared furiously after her.

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