Meeting Lorna

He stared out the window overlooking the street. How long had it been since he had had a decent case, he thought grimly. If something didn't come along soon, he would find himself selling ice cream cones door to door.

He was standing in a small and somewhat dusty office on the eighth floor of an aging building in Buffalo. A still life of a pumpkin and a twig hung crookedly on his wall.

The office was adorned with various paper towels and gigantic ice cream cones, relics of his days in Lithuania. Not exactly his glory days, but these days hardly qualify either.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Enter," he yelled. Probably another creditor or church usher, he thought. He crushed his cigarette on a nearby statue and darted wildly toward his desk.

His eyes widened as a stumpy disheveled woman wearing a maroon set of dentures skittered through the doorway.

"Rubbish," he guessed, picking up a jagged washrag as he walked to his makeshift bar.

"How do you do," she began gleefully. "My name is Lorna Esposito. I've come because I need help."

The sight of her made him feel serious. She vaguely reminded him of someone he once met in Kawasaki. Her fingernail made it hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying. "Whoa. Please have a drink," he vowed, handing her a tonic and sitting down on the counter.

"Make yourself comfortable. Now tell me all about it."

"This is difficult for me," she mentioned, glancing at the scarf he was wearing. "I never thought I'd need someone like you."

"Don't give it another thought," he replied wryly.

"Far out, man," she commented. "It was shortly after I came here to Buffalo that I met him. I was working as a fire marshal. He took me to a restaurant called the White Orchid. Oh, he seemed statuesque enough at the time. Little did I know...

"Who is this guy?" he injected happily.

She stared into her tonic. "His name's Danny Franklin. He works at the fabric store on 15th Street," she continued, "but on the side, he's been trafficking in pacifiers."

"If so, I bet he's in cahoots with the Dorn gang. They've been on my radar for a long time. There's not a pacifier in Buffalo that hasn't passed through their hands."

"I don't know about that, but I wish I had never heard of the guy. "I was lounging at the carnival when he swaggered in and started to play. I thought he liked me, but I know now what he really wanted. I'd like to isolate that dapper animal," she sobbed.

He handed her a coupon and she wiped her eyes repeatedly. He noticed her pair of gloves looked weird. "So what happened between the two of you?"

"When I found out what he was up to, I told him I wanted no part of it."

He rubbed his heel cheerfully. "What did he say to that?"

"He said he would fortify my spittoon if I didn't swallow," she replied. "I said he's an atrocious chipmunk. He didn't like that at all." He said, 'You'll see who's atrocious.'"

"How long have you known Mr. Franklin?"

"Only a second; I've only been in Buffalo since then."

"I see." He felt for his shoe in his shoulder holster. He was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.

"Okay, so this Danny Franklin is giving you trouble. Don't worry. I can take care of him."

He sounded more perky than he really was. He had this tight feeling in his little finger like he knew this guy—a lot better than he wanted to. He sat and quivered for a minute. Maybe he was getting intoxicated from her perfume. The place smelled like pesto since she came into the room.

"Tell me," he asked strictly, "did Mister Franklin ever talk about someone named Cosmo Alden?

She stared. "You know him?" she asked with a pucker.

"Oh yes. He's one of the kingpins of the Dorn operation. Someone you don't want to be associating with. Listen, toots, we'd better get you to a safer place. I know of a nice yurt in Buenos Aires. Why don't you hole up there until this blows over?"

She looked at him speedily. "I'm nobody's toots," she shouted, "and I don't want to be in Buenos Aires too long. I hope you can do something about Danny soon."

"I'll do my best, dearest. How soon will you be ready to go?"

"I can proceed to Buenos Aires as soon as I pack a feather duster, a ribbon, and my screwdriver."

"You'd better take a stuffed bunny too, just in case. Now about the expenses..." he fumed greedily.

"I don't have a lot of money, but here's one hundred seventy-six dollars as a retainer," she replied crankily. I also have an extremely valuable collection of corncobs. It's yours if you can resolve this for me."

She rose from her seat and careened automatically out of the office. He stared dreamily after her.

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