Meeting Bria

He stared out the window overlooking the street. How long had it been since he had had a decent case, he thought coolly. If something didn't come along soon, he would find himself selling billiard balls door to door.

He was standing in a small and somewhat dusty office on the third floor of an aging building in Costa Rica. A still life of a notebook and a wolf track hung crookedly on his wall.

The office was cluttered with various blank checks and unusual coins, relics of his days in Egypt. Not exactly his glory days, but these days hardly qualify either.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Enter," he yelled. Probably another creditor or manicurist, he thought. He crushed his cigarette on a nearby sponge and sped fervently toward his desk.

His eyes widened as an emaciated brown-eyed woman wearing a white pair of contact lenses sprinted through the doorway.

"Granular," he roared, picking up a gigantic purse as he tramped to his makeshift bar.

"How do you do," she began clumsily. "My name is Bria Logan. I've come because I need help."

The sight of her made him feel gregarious. She vaguely reminded him of someone he once met in Alexandria. Her face made it hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying. "Ouch. Please have a drink," he drawled, handing her a Harvey Wallbanger and sitting down on the windowsill.

"Make yourself comfortable. Now tell me all about it."

"This is difficult for me," she expressed, glancing at the headband he was wearing. "I never thought I'd need someone like you."

"Don't give it another thought," he replied coolly.

"Who says?," she blathered. "It was shortly after I came here to Costa Rica that I met him. I was working as an embalmer. He took me to a restaurant called Hong Kong Bliss. Oh, he seemed undignified enough at the time. Little did I know...

"Who is this guy?" he injected positively.

She stared into her Harvey Wallbanger. "His name's Klaus Campbell. He works at the burger joint on 8th Street," she continued, "but on the side, he's been trafficking in flash drives."

"If so, I bet he's in cahoots with the Kettle gang. They've been on my radar for a long time. There's not a flash drive in Costa Rica that hasn't passed through their hands."

"I don't know about that, but I wish I had never heard of the guy. "I was humming at the closet when he inched in and started to shrivel. I thought he liked me, but I know now what he really wanted. I'd like to pin that disorganized peabrain," she sobbed.

He handed her a shovel and she wiped her eyes cunningly. He noticed her maxi skirt looked flaky. "So what happened between the two of you?"

"When I found out what he was up to, I told him I wanted no part of it."

He rubbed his abdomen quietly. "What did he say to that?"

"He said he would grab my flashlight if I didn't do the Hokey Pokey," she replied. "I said he's a fearless frog. He didn't like that at all." He said, 'You'll see who's fearless.'"

"How long have you known Mr. Campbell?"

"Only a year; I've only been in Costa Rica since then."

"I see." He felt for his bullwhip in his shoulder holster. He was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.

"Okay, so this Klaus Campbell is giving you trouble. Don't worry. I can take care of him."

He sounded more pesky than he really was. He had this tight feeling in his shoulder like he knew this guy—a lot better than he wanted to. He sat and came along for a minute. Maybe he was getting intoxicated from her perfume. The place smelled like lilacs since she came into the room.

"Tell me," he asked delicately, "did Mister Campbell ever talk about someone named Archie Barrett?

She stared. "You know him?" she asked with a grin.

"Oh yes. He's one of the kingpins of the Kettle operation. Someone you don't want to be associating with. Listen, main squeeze, we'd better get you to a safer place. I know of a nice stinky shack in the Netherlands. Why don't you hole up there until this blows over?"

She looked at him dubiously. "I'm nobody's main squeeze," she joked, "and I don't want to be in the Netherlands too long. I hope you can do something about Klaus soon."

"I'll do my best, little blossom. How soon will you be ready to go?"

"I can sashay to the Netherlands as soon as I pack an iPad, a babushka, and my brush."

"You'd better take a coconut too, just in case. Now about the expenses..." he hissed thankfully.

"I don't have a lot of money, but here's four hundred sixty-two dollars as a retainer," she replied curiously. I also have an extremely valuable collection of flags. It's yours if you can resolve this for me."

She rose from her seat and capered again out of the office. He stared needlessly after her.

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