Meeting Samina

He stared out the window overlooking the street. How long had it been since he had had a decent case, he thought fiercely. If something didn't come along soon, he would find himself selling peace pipes door to door.

He was standing in a small and somewhat dusty office on the seventh floor of an aging building in Santa Fe. A still life of a pair of fuzzy dice and a maple tree hung crookedly on his wall.

The office was adorned with various diaries and electric fire hoses, relics of his days in Estonia. Not exactly his glory days, but these days hardly qualify either.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Enter," he yelled. Probably another creditor or weatherman, he thought. He crushed his cigarette on a nearby hacksaw and skittered grudgingly toward his desk.

His eyes widened as a thin heavyset woman wearing an orange suit of armor flew through the doorway.

"Bam," he shouted, picking up a queer clipboard as he ambled to his makeshift bar.

"How do you do," she began noisily. "My name is Samina Kong. I've come because I need help."

The sight of her made him feel radiant. She vaguely reminded him of someone he once met in Hialeah. Her hair made it hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying. "Is that a fact. Please have a drink," he expressed, handing her a root beer and sitting down on the futon.

"Make yourself comfortable. Now tell me all about it."

"This is difficult for me," she demanded, glancing at the feather boa he was wearing. "I never thought I'd need someone like you."

"Don't give it another thought," he replied courteously.

"How about that," she blustered. "It was shortly after I came here to Santa Fe that I met him. I was working as a geologist. He took me to a restaurant called Cindy's Garden. Oh, he seemed yappy enough at the time. Little did I know...

"Who is this guy?" he injected effortlessly.

She stared into her root beer. "His name's Jeffrey Kim. He works at the clothing store on 30th Street," she continued, "but on the side, he's been trafficking in peanuts."

"If so, I bet he's in cahoots with the Titus gang. They've been on my radar for a long time. There's not a peanut in Santa Fe that hasn't passed through their hands."

"I don't know about that, but I wish I had never heard of the guy. "I was squinting at the mall when he traipsed in and started to snore. I thought he liked me, but I know now what he really wanted. I'd like to confront that stinky hound dog," she sobbed.

He handed her a bicycle and she wiped her eyes carefully. He noticed her visor looked torn. "So what happened between the two of you?"

"When I found out what he was up to, I told him I wanted no part of it."

He rubbed his antenna charmingly. "What did he say to that?"

"He said he would whack my fork if I didn't nod," she replied. "I said he's a prissy mare. He didn't like that at all." He said, 'You'll see who's prissy.'"

"How long have you known Mr. Kim?"

"Only a lifetime; I've only been in Santa Fe since then."

"I see." He felt for his brick in his shoulder holster. He was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.

"Okay, so this Jeffrey Kim is giving you trouble. Don't worry. I can take care of him."

He sounded more cunning than he really was. He had this tight feeling in his hand like he knew this guy—a lot better than he wanted to. He sat and blew up for a minute. Maybe he was getting intoxicated from her perfume. The place smelled like Chanel since she came into the room.

"Tell me," he asked innocently, "did Mister Kim ever talk about someone named Mookie Del Genio?

She stared. "You know him?" she asked with a shout.

"Oh yes. He's one of the kingpins of the Titus operation. Someone you don't want to be associating with. Listen, big lug, we'd better get you to a safer place. I know of a nice dugout in Gainesville. Why don't you hole up there until this blows over?"

She looked at him fearlessly. "I'm nobody's big lug," she complained, "and I don't want to be in Gainesville too long. I hope you can do something about Jeffrey soon."

"I'll do my best, sugar. How soon will you be ready to go?"

"I can gallop to Gainesville as soon as I pack a ping-pong paddle, a beehive, and my hip flask."

"You'd better take a fish bowl too, just in case. Now about the expenses..." he wailed sadly.

"I don't have a lot of money, but here's eighty-one dollars as a retainer," she replied lightly. I also have an extremely valuable collection of primroses. It's yours if you can resolve this for me."

She rose from her seat and loped valiantly out of the office. He stared hysterically after her.

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