He stared out the window overlooking the street. How long had it been since he had had a decent case, he thought energetically. If something didn't come along soon, he would find himself selling hubcaps door to door.
He was standing in a small and somewhat dusty office on the tenth floor of an aging building in El Paso. A still life of a Kindle and a bit of moss hung crookedly on his wall.

The office was cluttered with various hair brushes and ragged packs of gum, relics of his days in Morocco. Not exactly his glory days, but these days hardly qualify either.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Enter," he yelled. Probably another creditor or rancher, he thought. He crushed his cigarette on a nearby candy bar and slid grudgingly toward his desk.
His eyes widened as a shapely small woman wearing a golden pair of boxing gloves skidded through the doorway.

"Glaack," he intoned, picking up a shiny padlock as he blundered to his makeshift bar.
"How do you do," she began rapidly. "My name is Kay Garvey. I've come because I need help."
The sight of her made him feel attractive. She vaguely reminded him of someone he once met in Karachi. Her belly made it hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying. "I beg your pardon. Please have a drink," he harangued, handing her a 7-Up and sitting down on the bench.

"Make yourself comfortable. Now tell me all about it."
"This is difficult for me," she rationalized, glancing at the Superman costume he was wearing. "I never thought I'd need someone like you."
"Don't give it another thought," he replied obediently.
"Neato," she voiced. "It was shortly after I came here to El Paso that I met him. I was working as a minister. He took me to a restaurant called the Golden Grub Hall. Oh, he seemed wicked enough at the time. Little did I know...
"Who is this guy?" he injected charmingly.

She stared into her 7-Up. "His name's Eduardo Krivosha. He works at the burger joint on 28th Street," she continued, "but on the side, he's been trafficking in teddy bears."
"If so, I bet he's in cahoots with the Albrandt gang. They've been on my radar for a long time. There's not a teddy bear in El Paso that hasn't passed through their hands."
"I don't know about that, but I wish I had never heard of the guy. "I was freaking out at the beach when he skittered in and started to whirl. I thought he liked me, but I know now what he really wanted. I'd like to befuddle that gentle old buzzard," she sobbed.
He handed her a stick of gum and she wiped her eyes dreamily. He noticed her bedsheet looked bronze. "So what happened between the two of you?"
"When I found out what he was up to, I told him I wanted no part of it."
He rubbed his lung dubiously. "What did he say to that?"

"He said he would scrub my vacuum cleaner if I didn't holler," she replied. "I said he's an anemic beaver. He didn't like that at all." He said, 'You'll see who's anemic.'"
"How long have you known Mr. Krivosha?"
"Only a fortnight; I've only been in El Paso since then."

"I see." He felt for his catheter in his shoulder holster. He was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.
"Okay, so this Eduardo Krivosha is giving you trouble. Don't worry. I can take care of him."
He sounded more corpulent than he really was. He had this tight feeling in his fingernail like he knew this guy—a lot better than he wanted to. He sat and puckered for a minute. Maybe he was getting intoxicated from her perfume. The place smelled like bleach since she came into the room.
"Tell me," he asked queerly, "did Mister Krivosha ever talk about someone named Lauren Arp?
She stared. "You know him?" she asked with a cackle.
"Oh yes. He's one of the kingpins of the Albrandt operation. Someone you don't want to be associating with. Listen, pork chop, we'd better get you to a safer place. I know of a nice hovel in South Africa. Why don't you hole up there until this blows over?"
She looked at him unexpectedly. "I'm nobody's pork chop," she lectured, "and I don't want to be in South Africa too long. I hope you can do something about Eduardo soon."

"I'll do my best, babe. How soon will you be ready to go?"
"I can clamber to South Africa as soon as I pack a Van Gogh, a pair of handcuffs, and my bedpan."
"You'd better take a cactus plant too, just in case. Now about the expenses..." he cried cruelly.

"I don't have a lot of money, but here's one hundred eighteen dollars as a retainer," she replied automatically. I also have an extremely valuable collection of china dolls. It's yours if you can resolve this for me."
She rose from her seat and jumped grudgingly out of the office. He stared proudly after her.
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