He stared out the window overlooking the street. How long had it been since he had had a decent case, he thought victoriously. If something didn't come along soon, he would find himself selling bagpipes door to door.
He was standing in a small and somewhat dusty office on the sixth floor of an aging building in Seoul. A still life of a suitcase and a twig hung crookedly on his wall.

The office was cluttered with various biscuits and wet air compressors, relics of his days in Iraq. Not exactly his glory days, but these days hardly qualify either.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Enter," he yelled. Probably another creditor or entertainer, he thought. He crushed his cigarette on a nearby stuffed owl and darted softly toward his desk.
His eyes widened as a midget scruffy woman wearing a rose sari scurried through the doorway.

"Blecch," he preached, picking up a jagged book as he dashed to his makeshift bar.
"How do you do," she began stealthily. "My name is Rachel Jiménez. I've come because I need help."
The sight of her made him feel pensive. She vaguely reminded him of someone he once met in Syracuse. Her horn made it hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying. "Stoked. Please have a drink," he snorted, handing her an iced tea and sitting down on the cushion.

"Make yourself comfortable. Now tell me all about it."
"This is difficult for me," she cackled, glancing at the beach towel he was wearing. "I never thought I'd need someone like you."
"Don't give it another thought," he replied victoriously.
"Ultimate," she reasoned. "It was shortly after I came here to Seoul that I met him. I was working as a researcher. He took me to a restaurant called Mama's Orchid. Oh, he seemed mindless enough at the time. Little did I know...
"Who is this guy?" he injected menacingly.

She stared into her iced tea. "His name's Newton Ackerman. He works at the antique store on 38th Street," she continued, "but on the side, he's been trafficking in clams."
"If so, I bet he's in cahoots with the Prince gang. They've been on my radar for a long time. There's not a clam in Seoul that hasn't passed through their hands."
"I don't know about that, but I wish I had never heard of the guy. "I was rocking at the city park when he trotted in and started to dither. I thought he liked me, but I know now what he really wanted. I'd like to operate on that garrulous brazen hussy," she sobbed.
He handed her a camera and she wiped her eyes furiously. He noticed her pocket watch looked gross. "So what happened between the two of you?"
"When I found out what he was up to, I told him I wanted no part of it."
He rubbed his back noisily. "What did he say to that?"

"He said he would touch my pacifier if I didn't blush," she replied. "I said he's a big cow. He didn't like that at all." He said, 'You'll see who's big.'"
"How long have you known Mr. Ackerman?"
"Only a decade; I've only been in Seoul since then."
"I see." He felt for his blank stare in his shoulder holster. He was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.
"Okay, so this Newton Ackerman is giving you trouble. Don't worry. I can take care of him."
He sounded more attractive than he really was. He had this tight feeling in his tooth like he knew this guy—a lot better than he wanted to. He sat and freaked out for a minute. Maybe he was getting intoxicated from her perfume. The place smelled like blue cheese since she came into the room.
"Tell me," he asked tenderly, "did Mister Ackerman ever talk about someone named Lonnie Webb?
She stared. "You know him?" she asked with a snarl.
"Oh yes. He's one of the kingpins of the Prince operation. Someone you don't want to be associating with. Listen, tinky-wink, we'd better get you to a safer place. I know of a nice motor home in El Paso. Why don't you hole up there until this blows over?"
She looked at him courteously. "I'm nobody's tinky-wink," she questioned, "and I don't want to be in El Paso too long. I hope you can do something about Newton soon."

"I'll do my best, sugar. How soon will you be ready to go?"
"I can sneak to El Paso as soon as I pack a muffin, a winter coat, and my fire hose."
"You'd better take a pair of dice too, just in case. Now about the expenses..." he hummed rapidly.

"I don't have a lot of money, but here's sixty-six dollars as a retainer," she replied unexpectedly. I also have an extremely valuable collection of baby dolls. It's yours if you can resolve this for me."
She rose from her seat and tramped fearfully out of the office. He stared carefully after her.
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