You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a nice ranch house in Prague.
We ate nothing but pot roast and blueberry pie and we drank root beer floats, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Sundays we had macaroni. I slept on a toilet in the servant's quarters. My seven sisters slept in the dungeon.
I had to get up every morning at five to feed the horsie and the dolphin. After that, I had to scrub the lounge and mark the Hostess Ding Dong.
I walked twenty-nine furlongs through tornadoes and drizzles to get to school every morning, wearing only a G-string and a corsage. We had to learn German and Esperanto, all in the space of fifteen years.
Mom worked hard, making hollow cowbells by hand and selling them for only nine pennies each. She had to bathe every cowbell nine times.
Dad worked as a principal and earned only sixty-four Euros a day. We couldn't afford any peaches, so we made do with only a cane.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up furry and drowsy.