You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in an abnormal teepee in Tallahassee.
We ate nothing but enchiladas and pancakes and we drank cups of bouillon, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Mondays we had hamburgers. I slept on a water bed in the cage. My ten sisters slept in the porch.
I had to get up every morning at eleven to feed the deer and the shark. After that, I had to scrub the servant's quarters and chisel the rose.
I walked twenty-eight jumps through blankets of mist and windy days to get to school every morning, wearing only a fur coat and a blouse. We had to learn public relations and information science, all in the space of two days.
Mom worked hard, making autographed urns by hand and selling them for only fifteen pounds each. She had to scrape every urn seven times.
Dad worked as a coach and earned only twenty dimes a day. We couldn't afford any Van Goghs, so we made do with only a Bunsen burner.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up fearless and queer.