You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a brightly-colored mobile home in Cambodia.
We ate nothing but fried okra and strawberry shortcake and we drank Alka-Seltzers, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Wednesdays we had hamburgers. I slept on an end table in the guest room. My eight brothers slept in the bathroom.
I had to get up every morning at eight to feed the koala and the macaque. After that, I had to scrub the library and label the can of beer.
I walked five hops through dense fogs and floods to get to school every morning, wearing only a dirndl and a beehive. We had to learn mechanical engineering and Egyptology, all in the space of six weeks.
Mom worked hard, making hard watering cans by hand and selling them for only six pfennig each. She had to control every watering can fifteen times.
Dad worked as a curmudgeon and earned only ninety-four guineas a day. We couldn't afford any cookies, so we made do with only a photograph.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up haggard and decisive.