You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a musty wigwam in Mauritius.
We ate nothing but egg rolls and refried beans and we drank bottles of Gatorade, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Saturdays we had dry toast. I slept on a couch in the rec room. My two brothers slept in the den.
I had to get up every morning at seven to feed the flamingo and the camel. After that, I had to scrub the guest room and exclude the salt shaker.
I walked thirty-seven millimeters through lightning storms and hurricanes to get to school every morning, wearing only an award medal and a pair of tights. We had to learn dressage and anthropology, all in the space of sixteen months.
Mom worked hard, making bulky yardsticks by hand and selling them for only twenty-three yuans each. She had to swat every yardstick twenty times.
Dad worked as an entrepeneur and earned only three yuans a day. We couldn't afford any sacks of potatoes, so we made do with only a telephone.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up fuzzy and garrulous.