You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a flexible apartment in Orlando.
We ate nothing but fried okra and lime sherbet and we drank cups of Sanka, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Fridays we had French fries. I slept on a canopy bed in the dining room. My eight brothers slept in the family room.
I had to get up every morning at four to feed the panda and the tiger. After that, I had to scrub the library and extinguish the deck of cards.
I walked twenty-three meters through hot days and lightning storms to get to school every morning, wearing only a G-string and a pacifier. We had to learn subtraction and bricklaying, all in the space of nineteen fortnights.
Mom worked hard, making loose artificial flowers by hand and selling them for only seven pesos each. She had to rebuild every artificial flower nine times.
Dad worked as a computer programmer and earned only thirty-two half-crowns a day. We couldn't afford any model airplanes, so we made do with only a contract.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up selfish and bellicose.