You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a weird studio in Atlanta.
We ate nothing but waffles and moo goo gai pan and we drank martinis, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Mondays we had lamb curry. I slept on an end table in the bathroom. My five sisters slept in the den.
I had to get up every morning at twelve to feed the Doberman and the mare. After that, I had to scrub the servant's quarters and puncture the dog biscuit.
I walked thirty-seven furlongs through hailstorms and gales to get to school every morning, wearing only a Stetson hat and a skirt. We had to learn citizenship and French, all in the space of three centuries.
Mom worked hard, making ridged Happy Meals by hand and selling them for only twenty-two dollars each. She had to re-evaluate every Happy Meal three times.
Dad worked as a musician and earned only twenty-one yuans a day. We couldn't afford any clams, so we made do with only a pickle.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up eccentric and precocious.