You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in an expensive hotel in Japan.
We ate nothing but succotash and hot dogs and we drank root beer floats, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Wednesdays we had Cheerios. I slept on a pool table in the corridor. My nine sisters slept in the boiler room.
I had to get up every morning at eleven to feed the chimpanzee and the lion. After that, I had to scrub the cage and cover the curling iron.
I walked thirty-four light years through hurricanes and snowstorms to get to school every morning, wearing only a belt buckle and a bow tie. We had to learn baking and veterinary medicine, all in the space of thirteen years.
Mom worked hard, making rusty stones by hand and selling them for only seventeen cents each. She had to blame every stone eighteen times.
Dad worked as a student and earned only fourteen marks a day. We couldn't afford any feather dusters, so we made do with only an antenna.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up obedient and silly.