You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in an imported palace in Delaware.
We ate nothing but roast beef and lamb curry and we drank Brandies Alexander, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Sundays we had clam chowder. I slept on a pedestal in the attic. My ten brothers slept in the living room.
I had to get up every morning at seven to feed the monster and the beagle. After that, I had to scrub the master bathroom and liquify the cookie.
I walked twenty-two steps through lightning storms and gales to get to school every morning, wearing only a suit of armor and a belt. We had to learn music theory and mythology, all in the space of thirteen blinks of an eye.
Mom worked hard, making fancy daisies by hand and selling them for only eight bitcoin each. She had to grab every daisy five times.
Dad worked as a locksmith and earned only seventy-three doubloons a day. We couldn't afford any pails, so we made do with only a wastebasket.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up sanguine and happy.