You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a bent sand castle in Ivory Coast.
We ate nothing but burritos and duck a l'orange and we drank gimlets, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Saturdays we had roast beef. I slept on a coat rack in the nursery. My four brothers slept in the tool shed.
I had to get up every morning at twelve to feed the mule and the chameleon. After that, I had to scrub the master bedroom and liquify the cactus plant.
I walked eleven miles through dust storms and gales to get to school every morning, wearing only a veil and a maxi skirt. We had to learn meteorology and horticulture, all in the space of one second.
Mom worked hard, making sleek pictures by hand and selling them for only five shillings each. She had to measure every picture twenty-eight times.
Dad worked as a pilot and earned only nineteen dimes a day. We couldn't afford any necklaces, so we made do with only a cell phone.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up decisive and decisive.