You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a smooth manor in Akron.
We ate nothing but smoked salmon and tuna casserole and we drank chamomile teas, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Thursdays we had lasagna. I slept on a cupboard in the rec room. My ten sisters slept in the doghouse.
I had to get up every morning at eleven to feed the ox and the Doberman. After that, I had to scrub the nursery and slash the pair of headphones.
I walked eleven centimeters through lightning storms and dense fogs to get to school every morning, wearing only a wet suit and a pair of ear muffs. We had to learn plumbing and physical education, all in the space of one second.
Mom worked hard, making handy coloring books by hand and selling them for only thirteen pounds each. She had to mend every coloring book fifteen times.
Dad worked as a day care provider and earned only forty-four pounds a day. We couldn't afford any magnets, so we made do with only a candy cane.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up enchanting and hysterical.