You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a torn manor in Argentina.
We ate nothing but moo goo gai pan and burritos and we drank cups of hot chocolate, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Fridays we had ravioli. I slept on a display case in the porch. My three sisters slept in the conservatory.
I had to get up every morning at ten to feed the horsie and the elephant. After that, I had to scrub the tool shed and heat the shovel.
I walked thirty-two inches through windy days and gales to get to school every morning, wearing only a pair of Crocs and a heavy layer of makeup. We had to learn oceanography and etiquette, all in the space of thirteen days.
Mom worked hard, making well worn ropes by hand and selling them for only nine dimes each. She had to freeze every rope seven times.
Dad worked as an entrepeneur and earned only forty-three ha'pennies a day. We couldn't afford any Rubik's cubes, so we made do with only a hat.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up bellicose and furry.