You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in an important box in Thailand.
We ate nothing but bonbons and dirty rice and we drank chocolate milks, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Tuesdays we had apple pie. I slept on a bench in the guest room. My twelve sisters slept in the closet.
I had to get up every morning at five to feed the zebra and the sheep. After that, I had to scrub the library and stitch the mushroom.
I walked five yards through gales and hailstorms to get to school every morning, wearing only a tunic and a bustier. We had to learn cryptography and hotel management, all in the space of fifteen days.
Mom worked hard, making soft microscopes by hand and selling them for only fifteen guineas each. She had to expand every microscope twenty-five times.
Dad worked as a puppeteer and earned only seventeen pfennig a day. We couldn't afford any pairs of pliers, so we made do with only a feather duster.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up passionate and affable.