You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a thick villa in Yakima.
We ate nothing but egg rolls and strawberry shortcake and we drank old fashioneds, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on alternate blue moons we had blueberry pie. I slept on an overstuffed chair in the auditorium. My twelve brothers slept in the auditorium.
I had to get up every morning at eight to feed the rat and the bandicoot. After that, I had to scrub the pool room and hook the paperweight.
I walked twelve feet through palls of doom and driving rainstorms to get to school every morning, wearing only a robe and a tattoo. We had to learn public relations and engineering, all in the space of eleven fortnights.
Mom worked hard, making used toys by hand and selling them for only twenty-three ha'pennies each. She had to flush every toy twenty-five times.
Dad worked as a percussionist and earned only fifty cents a day. We couldn't afford any paper bags, so we made do with only an ashtray.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up pensive and refined.