You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a lavender chateau in Greensboro.
We ate nothing but pancakes and refried beans and we drank Mojitos, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Thursdays we had shrimp. I slept on a filing cabinet in the tool shed. My five brothers slept in the atrium.
I had to get up every morning at seven to feed the tiger and the tiger. After that, I had to scrub the rec room and sand the paintbrush.
I walked three fathoms through palls of doom and blizzards to get to school every morning, wearing only a tam o'shanter and a miniskirt. We had to learn photography and etiquette, all in the space of seventeen months.
Mom worked hard, making stuffed clams by hand and selling them for only twelve cents each. She had to moisten every clam twenty times.
Dad worked as a locksmith and earned only forty-four pesos a day. We couldn't afford any baseballs, so we made do with only a bicycle.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up rugged and jaunty.