You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a miniature farmhouse in Topeka.
We ate nothing but mashed potatoes and fondue and we drank glasses of wine, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on alternate blue moons we had popcorn. I slept on a hammock in the corridor. My eight brothers slept in the bathroom.
I had to get up every morning at ten to feed the crocodile and the squirrel. After that, I had to scrub the den and soak the hair dryer.
I walked thirty-three jumps through hot, sunny days and humid days to get to school every morning, wearing only a pacifier and a dirndl. We had to learn manners and musicianship, all in the space of fifteen days.
Mom worked hard, making excellent corsages by hand and selling them for only eight bitcoin each. She had to praise every corsage twelve times.
Dad worked as a truck driver and earned only fourteen yuans a day. We couldn't afford any sacks of potatoes, so we made do with only a coat hanger.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up pert and tactful.