You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a dusty chalet in Sudan.
We ate nothing but tuna casserole and enchiladas and we drank glasses of water, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Thursdays we had roast Cornish game hen. I slept on a mattress in the cage. My twelve sisters slept in the pool room.
I had to get up every morning at seven to feed the duck and the prairie dog. After that, I had to scrub the family room and extinguish the rose.
I walked three millimeters through typhoons and dust storms to get to school every morning, wearing only a bandana and a robe. We had to learn communication and calculus, all in the space of fourteen seconds.
Mom worked hard, making mechanical stones by hand and selling them for only three doubloons each. She had to identify every stone twenty-eight times.
Dad worked as a comedian and earned only twenty shillings a day. We couldn't afford any magnifying glasses, so we made do with only a toupee.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up loving and coy.