You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a smumpy wikiup in Barcelona.
We ate nothing but lobster bisque and cabbage rolls and we drank Irish Coffees, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Thursdays we had fried okra. I slept on a pedestal in the doghouse. My four brothers slept in the parlor.
I had to get up every morning at three to feed the muskrat and the pony. After that, I had to scrub the porch and dye the skull.
I walked nineteen inches through dense fogs and blankets of mist to get to school every morning, wearing only a garland and a sarong. We had to learn programming and physics, all in the space of eleven days.
Mom worked hard, making imported key rings by hand and selling them for only fourteen bitcoin each. She had to lengthen every key ring fifteen times.
Dad worked as a phlebotomist and earned only twenty-four stock options a day. We couldn't afford any cactus plants, so we made do with only a baseball.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up depraved and angry.