You think you've got it rough? You should have been around when I was a kid. Our whole family lived in a weird condominium in Greensboro.
We ate nothing but strawberry shortcake and tofu and we drank hot toddies, and we were glad to have them. Sometimes on Sundays we had macaroni. I slept on a catbird seat in the master bathroom. My eleven brothers slept in the pool room.
I had to get up every morning at ten to feed the mouse and the turtle. After that, I had to scrub the basement and see the cookbook.
I walked thirty-three millimeters through floods and blankets of mist to get to school every morning, wearing only a pair of khakis and a belly button jewel. We had to learn sociology and anatomy, all in the space of thirteen minutes.
Mom worked hard, making wooden pieces of paper by hand and selling them for only thirteen pfennig each. She had to stack every piece of paper sixteen times.
Dad worked as a telephone operator and earned only eighty doubloons a day. We couldn't afford any pearls, so we made do with only a washrag.
In spite of all the hardships, we grew up homely and merry.