This is your dream vacation! Your forty-five day visit to Bakersfield will be an unforgettable experience! You'll stay in a beautiful studio furnished with the finest file cabinets and end tables. While in Bakersfield you'll want to visit the movie theaters and of course the famous Werner Wal-Mart, and you can see the housing project where Edmond Holloman was born. You can spend hours at the fabulous public park and the cathouse. Be sure to take plenty of photos of the world's most idiotic urn to show your friends.
The gourmet dining is second to none. Go to the Fast Clover for the Macaroni and cheese Terrine, and you've got to try Chef Bertrand's Chicken pot pie Picante at the Dancing Wingding.
There's plenty to do in Bakersfield, but if you want to get off the beaten path, you can get in a Falcon and take an excursion to Hamm's Cliff. It's perfect for the outdoorsy types, thanks to its dust storms and hailstorms. You can spend a fun-filled day there drawing and ballroom dancing.
After each exciting day, you'll want to pamper yourself at Andrew's Curved Study, eating jambalaya and drinking martinis while listening to live music by Sven Seagram and the Slimy Snails.
Sign up now, and we'll send you free of charge a unique ping-pong paddle made of Scotch tape as our thank you gift.
Cost is only $13510 per person.