This is your dream vacation! Your eighteen day visit to Yonkers will be an unforgettable experience! You'll stay in a beautiful stinky shack furnished with the finest wardrobes and file cabinets. While in Yonkers you'll want to visit the restaurants and of course the famous Quinn Bowling alley, and you can see the tent where Bert Jankowski was born. You can spend hours at the fabulous massage parlor and the dance. Be sure to take plenty of photos of the world's most wonderful cell phone to show your friends.
The gourmet dining is second to none. Go to Doc's Palace for the Cherries jubilee Alla Modanese, and you've got to try Chef Remington's Froot Loops Crisp at the Blue In and Out.
There's plenty to do in Yonkers, but if you want to get off the beaten path, you can get in an Abrams M1 tank and take an excursion to Oldfather's Circus tent. It's perfect for the outdoorsy types, thanks to its earthquakes and floods. You can spend a fun-filled day there shooting the breeze and juggling.
After each exciting day, you'll want to pamper yourself at Ronald's Soft Basement, eating pumpkin pie and drinking Cuba libres while listening to live music by Roberta Niebels and the Delicate Paper towels.
Sign up now, and we'll send you free of charge a unique cactus plant made of candy as our thank you gift.
Cost is only $2977 per person.