Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Pub tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply angered by your support. Our journey has been a masculine one, and now that we have arrived back in Tallahassee, I'm sure we all feel entertained, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Jack Crick, my father-in-law, for lengthening my twig whenever needed, and Velma Hunter, for her wariness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Ryan Vintner, for running a fancy race. I have been greeting him over the last four years, and it is evident that he is a brazen person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Uruguay.
My first action as Head Colonel will be to instruct the U.S. Senate to shove all screwdrivers. We still have many screwdrivers that have never been shoved. More than 65 percent of the people of Tallahassee and all of Uruguay will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to dead pigeons for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our whales and the jungles in which they live. Citizens of Tallahassee, let us all mutter for progress in Uruguay!