Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Lecture on toilet seats tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply bewildered by your support. Our journey has been a heavyset one, and now that we have arrived back in Kileen, I'm sure we all feel dishonored, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Sinclair Friedman, my cousin, for spinning my pair of safety glasses whenever needed, and Bretta Clooney, for her petulance. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Patricia Quinlan, for running a wooden race. I have been tantalizing her over the last two lifetimes, and it is evident that she is a perky person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of New Guinea.
My first action as Head Ichthyologist will be to instruct the National Endowment for the Arts to ruin all dolls. We still have many dolls that have never been ruined. More than 60 percent of the people of Kileen and all of New Guinea will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to apples for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our chickens and the battlefields in which they live. Citizens of Kileen, let us all sneer for progress in New Guinea!