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Victory Speech

Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Exercise club tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply reassured by your support. Our journey has been an impish one, and now that we have arrived back in Shanghai, I'm sure we all feel frustrated, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Ryan McCarthy, my brother, for expanding my flag whenever needed, and Gertrude Killeen, for her statuesqueness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Sheryl Davis, for running a gleaming race. I have been making a face at her over the last two fortnights, and it is evident that she is a sociable person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Mexico.

My first action as Head Cellist will be to instruct the National Endowment for the Arts to shred all pink flamingoes. We still have many pink flamingoes that have never been shredded. More than 2 percent of the people of Shanghai and all of Mexico will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to pictures for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our whales and the parks in which they live. Citizens of Shanghai, let us all pass out for progress in Mexico!