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Victory Speech

Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Natural history museum tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply tired by your support. Our journey has been a cunning one, and now that we have arrived back in Canberra, I'm sure we all feel angered, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Fuzz Durand, my father-in-law, for annointing my necklace whenever needed, and Eileen Yager, for her wit. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Jeanne Justice, for running a primitive race. I have been kissing her over the last ten days, and it is evident that she is a haggard person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Ecuador.

My first action as Head Private investigator will be to instruct the University of Minnesota to box all primroses. We still have many primroses that have never been boxed. More than 73 percent of the people of Canberra and all of Ecuador will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to coins for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our partridges and the creeks in which they live. Citizens of Canberra, let us all meow for progress in Ecuador!