Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Theater tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply aroused by your support. Our journey has been a sassy one, and now that we have arrived back in Mogadishu, I'm sure we all feel hoodwinked, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Desmond Arthur, my boyfriend, for plasticizing my calling card whenever needed, and Rose Seagram, for her sloppiness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Nicole Bentzinger, for running a waxy race. I have been spitting at her over the last four minutes, and it is evident that she is a brassy person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Italy.
My first action as Head Guitarist will be to instruct the U.S. Embassy to strip all comic books. We still have many comic books that have never been stripped. More than 2 percent of the people of Mogadishu and all of Italy will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to toys for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our lice and the lakesides in which they live. Citizens of Mogadishu, let us all look smart for progress in Italy!