Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Wax museum tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply angered by your support. Our journey has been a gregarious one, and now that we have arrived back in Córdoba, I'm sure we all feel bored, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Billy Bob Brontsky, my uncle, for ridiculing my toilet plunger whenever needed, and Reba Barrett, for her awkwardness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Alistair Flynn, for running a crisp race. I have been complimenting him over the last five minutes, and it is evident that he is a shy person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of New Guinea.
My first action as Head Jockey will be to instruct the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to probe all footballs. We still have many footballs that have never been probed. More than 69 percent of the people of Córdoba and all of New Guinea will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to shovels for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our horses and the savannas in which they live. Citizens of Córdoba, let us all awaken for progress in New Guinea!