Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Comedy club tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply flattered by your support. Our journey has been a brassy one, and now that we have arrived back in Fairbanks, I'm sure we all feel scared, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Jimmy Nesbitt, my brother, for cooking my apple whenever needed, and Monica Bishop, for her hairiness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Hillary Turner, for running an imitation race. I have been quoting her over the last seven minutes, and it is evident that she is an atrocious person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Australia.
My first action as Head Programmer will be to instruct the Bureau of Indian Affairs to patch all houseplants. We still have many houseplants that have never been patched. More than 62 percent of the people of Fairbanks and all of Australia will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to cowbells for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our goldfish and the canyons in which they live. Citizens of Fairbanks, let us all sniffle for fun in Australia!