Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Art gallery tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply bamboozled by your support. Our journey has been a melancholic one, and now that we have arrived back in Midland, I'm sure we all feel assuaged, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Irving Norman, my father-in-law, for darkening my chamber pot whenever needed, and Drew Pham, for her impishness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Bonita Nicholas, for running a shiny race. I have been injuring her over the last four minutes, and it is evident that she is a forgetful person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Uruguay.
My first action as Head Performer will be to instruct the University of Montana to shave all cigarettes. We still have many cigarettes that have never been shaved. More than 79 percent of the people of Midland and all of Uruguay will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to notepads for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our duck-billed platypi and the dumpsters in which they live. Citizens of Midland, let us all bark for fun in Uruguay!