Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Pie-eating contest tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply flattered by your support. Our journey has been an earnest one, and now that we have arrived back in Naperville, I'm sure we all feel assuaged, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Jerry Shainberg, my uncle, for flattening my baby doll whenever needed, and Bailey Cantrell, for her shiftiness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Mindy Kafka, for running a heavy race. I have been correcting her over the last eight minutes, and it is evident that she is a peculiar person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of South Sudan.
My first action as Head Film producer will be to instruct the Fraternal Order of Beavers to decontaminate all towels. We still have many towels that have never been decontaminated. More than 41 percent of the people of Naperville and all of South Sudan will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to combs for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our honeybees and the gardens in which they live. Citizens of Naperville, let us all bawl for progress in South Sudan!