Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Cathouse tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply bewildered by your support. Our journey has been a sincere one, and now that we have arrived back in Montevideo, I'm sure we all feel strengthened, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Aaron Winkler, my third cousin twice-removed, for wiggling my deck of cards whenever needed, and Kristi MacGibbon, for her athleticism. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Magdalena Vogel, for running a rusty race. I have been controlling her over the last nine days, and it is evident that she is a wily person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Haiti.
My first action as Head Tennis player will be to instruct the U.S. Embassy to measure all fish bowls. We still have many fish bowls that have never been measured. More than 11 percent of the people of Montevideo and all of Haiti will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to cigarette lighters for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our lizards and the treetops in which they live. Citizens of Montevideo, let us all get along for fun in Haiti!