Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Rock concert tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply hoodwinked by your support. Our journey has been a dowdy one, and now that we have arrived back in Savannah, I'm sure we all feel dishonored, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Perry Fontanaro, my brother-in-law, for smelling my piano whenever needed, and Marilyn Bates, for her shiftiness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Jared Stoltenburg, for running a crooked race. I have been cozying up to him over the last two minutes, and it is evident that he is a masculine person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Haiti.
My first action as Head Bureaucrat will be to instruct the Stagehands of the World to bathe all whistles. We still have many whistles that have never been bathed. More than 76 percent of the people of Savannah and all of Haiti will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to pieces of candy for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our llamas and the cesspools in which they live. Citizens of Savannah, let us all bawl for progress in Haiti!