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Victory Speech

Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Cathouse tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply saddened by your support. Our journey has been a peculiar one, and now that we have arrived back in Tokyo, I'm sure we all feel displeased, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Herbert Cutler, my father, for seeing my business card whenever needed, and Valentina Nagy, for her brashness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Candy Schneider, for running an immense race. I have been stinging her over the last four decades, and it is evident that she is a brave person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Norway.

My first action as Head Pathologist will be to instruct the Cookies Lovers Society to ruin all brushes. We still have many brushes that have never been ruined. More than 63 percent of the people of Tokyo and all of Norway will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to cowbells for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our cocker spaniels and the plateaus in which they live. Citizens of Tokyo, let us all take a bath for progress in Norway!