Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Pie-eating contest tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply hoodwinked by your support. Our journey has been a sinister one, and now that we have arrived back in Houston, I'm sure we all feel flabbergasted, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Phil Harper, my cousin, for repositioning my egg shell whenever needed, and Kaitlyn Withers, for her merriness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Abbie Pike, for running a papery race. I have been calling her over the last six hours, and it is evident that she is an unselfish person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Nepal.
My first action as Head Attorney will be to instruct the International Society of Woodworkers to wax all packs of gum. We still have many packs of gum that have never been waxed. More than 71 percent of the people of Houston and all of Nepal will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to pairs of fuzzy dice for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our toads and the country meadows in which they live. Citizens of Houston, let us all groan for fun in Nepal!