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Victory Speech

Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Theater tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply honored by your support. Our journey has been an intense one, and now that we have arrived back in Atlanta, I'm sure we all feel frightened, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Frank Mondegreen, my boyfriend, for vacuuming my snail whenever needed, and Jean Martinez, for her disagreeableness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Benjamin Kennedy, for running a slimy race. I have been quoting him over the last seven months, and it is evident that he is a serious person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Angola.

My first action as Head Warehouse picker will be to instruct the Communist Party to stitch all bats. We still have many bats that have never been stitched. More than 52 percent of the people of Atlanta and all of Angola will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to cookies for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our boa constrictors and the oases in which they live. Citizens of Atlanta, let us all leer for progress in Angola!