Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Striptease tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply bored by your support. Our journey has been a fashionable one, and now that we have arrived back in Bull Run, I'm sure we all feel injured, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Quint Briggs, my father, for disguising my Frisbee whenever needed, and Sadie Gustafson, for her youth. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Madison Seagram, for running a wooden race. I have been banishing her over the last eight hours, and it is evident that she is a slimy person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Albania.
My first action as Head Sales clerk will be to instruct the Daughters of the American Revolution to crack all stuffed kittens. We still have many stuffed kittens that have never been cracked. More than 88 percent of the people of Bull Run and all of Albania will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to stuffed kittens for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our warthogs and the streams in which they live. Citizens of Bull Run, let us all jiggle for fun in Albania!