Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Church social tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply tired by your support. Our journey has been a happy one, and now that we have arrived back in Elk Grove, I'm sure we all feel flummoxed, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Mitch Jiménez, my boyfriend, for stacking my chess set whenever needed, and Elizabeth Mohammadian, for her sanguineness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Dave Collier, for running a filthy race. I have been licking him over the last nine lifetimes, and it is evident that he is a daring person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Lebanon.
My first action as Head Con artist will be to instruct the Communist Party to archive all pairs of scissors. We still have many pairs of scissors that have never been archived. More than 46 percent of the people of Elk Grove and all of Lebanon will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to iPads for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our alligators and the jungles in which they live. Citizens of Elk Grove, let us all bounce for progress in Lebanon!