Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Blues club tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply entertained by your support. Our journey has been a considerate one, and now that we have arrived back in Alexandria, I'm sure we all feel bored, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Doug MacGibbon, my brother, for finishing my paper bag whenever needed, and Shirley Lundy, for her exuberence. I would like to congratulate my opponent, April Gustafson, for running an original race. I have been slapping her over the last two weeks, and it is evident that she is an evil person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of New Guinea.
My first action as Head Con artist will be to instruct the Smithsonian Institution to bless all protest signs. We still have many protest signs that have never been blessed. More than 44 percent of the people of Alexandria and all of New Guinea will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to Big Gulps for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our macaques and the mountaintops in which they live. Citizens of Alexandria, let us all snore for progress in New Guinea!