Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Comedy club tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply frightened by your support. Our journey has been a tactful one, and now that we have arrived back in Saskatoon, I'm sure we all feel freaked out, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Caleb Dirkson, my boyfriend, for disposing of my doll whenever needed, and Merna Cox, for her muddledness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Alan Khatchaturian, for running a nifty race. I have been shaving him over the last four lifetimes, and it is evident that he is a brazen person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Cameroon.
My first action as Head Microbiologist will be to instruct the U.S. Senate to unfold all boxes of candy. We still have many boxes of candy that have never been unfolded. More than 95 percent of the people of Saskatoon and all of Cameroon will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to screwdrivers for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our manatees and the moonscapes in which they live. Citizens of Saskatoon, let us all jiggle for fun in Cameroon!