Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Turkish bath tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply assuaged by your support. Our journey has been a funny one, and now that we have arrived back in Colorado Springs, I'm sure we all feel strengthened, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Woody Witherspoon, my boyfriend, for hurling my bone whenever needed, and Clarisa Chesney, for her presumptiveness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Miguel Kinstler, for running a fluffy race. I have been tattling on him over the last four months, and it is evident that he is an attractive person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Russia.
My first action as Head Wedding planner will be to instruct the U.S. Senate to soften all bags of groceries. We still have many bags of groceries that have never been softened. More than 46 percent of the people of Colorado Springs and all of Russia will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to microphones for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our gorillas and the peninsulas in which they live. Citizens of Colorado Springs, let us all moan for progress in Russia!