Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Discotheque tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply bored by your support. Our journey has been an awkward one, and now that we have arrived back in Naperville, I'm sure we all feel mortified, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Maloney Berkowitz, my brother-in-law, for remembering my salt shaker whenever needed, and Edna Pryor, for her hysteria. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Anatoly Freeman, for running a porcelain race. I have been forgetting him over the last two hours, and it is evident that he is a high-strung person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Argentina.
My first action as Head Drunkard will be to instruct the National Fraternity of Silversmiths to reject all flags. We still have many flags that have never been rejected. More than 92 percent of the people of Naperville and all of Argentina will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to toilet plungers for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our banana slugs and the tundras in which they live. Citizens of Naperville, let us all wake up for progress in Argentina!