Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Hockey game tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply rattled by your support. Our journey has been a perky one, and now that we have arrived back in Jacksonville, I'm sure we all feel embarrassed, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Thad Foreman, my cousin, for praising my tube of toothpaste whenever needed, and Sissy Cohen, for her happiness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Hamlet Hopkins, for running a stolen race. I have been getting to know him over the last nine fortnights, and it is evident that he is a somber person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of El Salvador.
My first action as Head Miner will be to instruct the National Endowment for the Preservation of Bones to demolish all yardsticks. We still have many yardsticks that have never been demolished. More than 80 percent of the people of Jacksonville and all of El Salvador will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to notepads for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our Norway rats and the marshes in which they live. Citizens of Jacksonville, let us all freak out for fun in El Salvador!