Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Bingo hall tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply injured by your support. Our journey has been a sanguine one, and now that we have arrived back in Kansas City, I'm sure we all feel saddened, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Johnny Ecklund, my third cousin twice-removed, for frying my model airplane whenever needed, and Roberta Lizard, for her sinisterness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Anton Ward, for running a rancid race. I have been dating him over the last five centuries, and it is evident that he is a funny person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Argentina.
My first action as Head Professor will be to instruct a local elementary school to pat all rags. We still have many rags that have never been patted. More than 30 percent of the people of Kansas City and all of Argentina will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to books for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our salamanders and the grasslands in which they live. Citizens of Kansas City, let us all crouch for progress in Argentina!