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Victory Speech

Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Art gallery tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply irritated by your support. Our journey has been a paranoid one, and now that we have arrived back in Copenhagen, I'm sure we all feel relieved, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Elmer Richards, my father-in-law, for striking my African violet whenever needed, and Liz Mainz, for her refinement. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Erwin Krause, for running an amazing race. I have been glaring at him over the last three weeks, and it is evident that he is a weary person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Slovakia.

My first action as Head Truck driver will be to instruct the Communist Party to smash all tickets. We still have many tickets that have never been smashed. More than 9 percent of the people of Copenhagen and all of Slovakia will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to orchids for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our honeybees and the oases in which they live. Citizens of Copenhagen, let us all deal cards for progress in Slovakia!