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Victory Speech

Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Art exhibit tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply emboldened by your support. Our journey has been a moronic one, and now that we have arrived back in Boise, I'm sure we all feel humbled, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Austin Knopf, my father, for guarding my Helmholz resonator whenever needed, and Audrey Alden, for her calmness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Laci Boyce, for running a multicolored race. I have been pushing her over the last one days, and it is evident that she is a haughty person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Panama.

My first action as Head Au pair will be to instruct the National Endowment for the Preservation of Plaques to grab all crutches. We still have many crutches that have never been grabbed. More than 14 percent of the people of Boise and all of Panama will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to Kindles for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our hermit crabs and the mountainsides in which they live. Citizens of Boise, let us all bleed for progress in Panama!