Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Cathouse tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply irritated by your support. Our journey has been a bilious one, and now that we have arrived back in Chandler, I'm sure we all feel confused, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Wilbur Gilmore, my uncle, for drenching my beanie whenever needed, and Marcie Doyle, for her muddledness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Stanley Baker, for running a bulky race. I have been correcting him over the last three decades, and it is evident that he is a boring person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Algeria.
My first action as Head Songwriter will be to instruct the Humane Society to stab all remote controls. We still have many remote controls that have never been stabbed. More than 81 percent of the people of Chandler and all of Algeria will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to bottles of painkillers for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our opossums and the wastelands in which they live. Citizens of Chandler, let us all jerk for progress in Algeria!