Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Turkish bath tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply bewildered by your support. Our journey has been a merry one, and now that we have arrived back in Salinas, I'm sure we all feel enraged, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Millicent Borkowski, my third cousin twice-removed, for modifying my bowling ball whenever needed, and Merna Nicholas, for her bizarreness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Fifi Childress, for running a new race. I have been confusing her over the last four years, and it is evident that she is a puzzled person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Samoa.
My first action as Head Tailor will be to instruct the American Medical Association to label all pencil sharpeners. We still have many pencil sharpeners that have never been labeled. More than 27 percent of the people of Salinas and all of Samoa will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to ropes for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our leopards and the creeks in which they live. Citizens of Salinas, let us all belch for progress in Samoa!