Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Bluegrass festival tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply befuddled by your support. Our journey has been a thoughtful one, and now that we have arrived back in Atlanta, I'm sure we all feel bamboozled, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Buddy Vidmar, my father, for identifying my pinwheel whenever needed, and Meredith Ferrari, for her stinkiness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Wes Chopra, for running a hideous race. I have been messing with him over the last two minutes, and it is evident that he is an atrocious person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Kuwait.
My first action as Head Coroner will be to instruct the Angolan Parliament to load all fingernail clippers. We still have many fingernail clippers that have never been loaded. More than 12 percent of the people of Atlanta and all of Kuwait will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to packs of gum for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our buzzards and the cliffs in which they live. Citizens of Atlanta, let us all moan for progress in Kuwait!