Rewrite this story

Victory Speech

Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Concert tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply bamboozled by your support. Our journey has been a vile one, and now that we have arrived back in Cleveland, I'm sure we all feel bored, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Octavio Nagy, my uncle, for protecting my dollhouse whenever needed, and Julia Weiner, for her haughtiness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Gavin Hobbs, for running a used race. I have been tickling him over the last four days, and it is evident that he is an annoying person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Saudi Arabia.

My first action as Head Petroleum engineer will be to instruct the National Society of Puppeteers to push all vacuum cleaners. We still have many vacuum cleaners that have never been pushed. More than 71 percent of the people of Cleveland and all of Saudi Arabia will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to pens for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our giraffes and the steppes in which they live. Citizens of Cleveland, let us all run for fun in Saudi Arabia!