Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Pub tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply injured by your support. Our journey has been a disorganized one, and now that we have arrived back in Jersey City, I'm sure we all feel freaked out, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Gus Verma, my brother-in-law, for dyeing my paper towel whenever needed, and Angie Barducci, for her obesity. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Joanne Nicholas, for running a decrepit race. I have been disinfecting her over the last ten days, and it is evident that she is a megalomaniacal person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Haiti.
My first action as Head Interior designer will be to instruct the Communist Party to boil all oranges. We still have many oranges that have never been boiled. More than 17 percent of the people of Jersey City and all of Haiti will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to billfolds for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our turtles and the trails in which they live. Citizens of Jersey City, let us all suffer for progress in Haiti!