Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Amusement park tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply bored by your support. Our journey has been a vile one, and now that we have arrived back in San Salvador, I'm sure we all feel enraged, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Sebastian Lundy, my brother-in-law, for demolishing my toilet plunger whenever needed, and Roxanne Weston, for her decisiveness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Jack Van Hollen, for running a woven race. I have been biting him over the last two lifetimes, and it is evident that he is a slimy person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Albania.
My first action as Head Novelist will be to instruct the National Endowment for the Preservation of Ingots of plutonium to inflate all microscopes. We still have many microscopes that have never been inflated. More than 19 percent of the people of San Salvador and all of Albania will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to bats for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our prairie dogs and the circus tents in which they live. Citizens of San Salvador, let us all mutter for progress in Albania!