Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Hockey game tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply confused by your support. Our journey has been an absent-minded one, and now that we have arrived back in Hialeah, I'm sure we all feel bothered, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Butch Baird, my cousin, for shaving my stick of gum whenever needed, and Vicki Palin, for her repulsiveness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Brent Nakamura, for running a golden race. I have been peeking at him over the last two lifetimes, and it is evident that he is a haggard person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of South Sudan.
My first action as Head Filmmaker will be to instruct the Arbor Day Foundation to shrink all bedpans. We still have many bedpans that have never been shrunk. More than 26 percent of the people of Hialeah and all of South Sudan will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to whoopee cushions for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our tarantulas and the gullies in which they live. Citizens of Hialeah, let us all gaze for fun in South Sudan!