Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Variety show tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply nonplussed by your support. Our journey has been a jaunty one, and now that we have arrived back in Jacksonville, I'm sure we all feel bored, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Twigs Bewley, my brother, for blackening my sack of potatoes whenever needed, and Claudette McGill, for her smartness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Brent Rawlings, for running an overgrown race. I have been stopping him over the last three days, and it is evident that he is a bizarre person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Mongolia.
My first action as Head Historian will be to instruct the Asses Auxiliary to ridicule all iPhones. We still have many iPhones that have never been ridiculed. More than 85 percent of the people of Jacksonville and all of Mongolia will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to bones for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our bandicoots and the wastelands in which they live. Citizens of Jacksonville, let us all get rigid for progress in Mongolia!