Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Jazz club tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply nonplussed by your support. Our journey has been a pert one, and now that we have arrived back in Charlotte, I'm sure we all feel hoodwinked, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Del Stevenson, my father-in-law, for catching my elephant tusk whenever needed, and Victoria Emmons, for her carefulness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Gertrude Spangler, for running a primitive race. I have been reassuring her over the last two blinks of an eye, and it is evident that she is a vile person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Haiti.
My first action as Head Bodyguard will be to instruct the Society of Songwriters to extend all pieces of candy. We still have many pieces of candy that have never been extended. More than 100 percent of the people of Charlotte and all of Haiti will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to towels for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our lovebirds and the buffalo wallows in which they live. Citizens of Charlotte, let us all do the Hokey Pokey for progress in Haiti!