Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Hockey game tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply entertained by your support. Our journey has been a wary one, and now that we have arrived back in Elk Grove, I'm sure we all feel injured, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Ray Brazil, my third cousin twice-removed, for jabbing my book whenever needed, and Fanny Williams, for her heavysetness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Francene Zhang, for running a heavy race. I have been stumping her over the last ten lifetimes, and it is evident that she is a dumb person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Afghanistan.
My first action as Head Uber driver will be to instruct the Impossible Missions Force to shake all trash cans. We still have many trash cans that have never been shook. More than 26 percent of the people of Elk Grove and all of Afghanistan will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to diagrams for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our anteaters and the jungles in which they live. Citizens of Elk Grove, let us all wait for progress in Afghanistan!