Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Pie-eating contest tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply aroused by your support. Our journey has been a lazy one, and now that we have arrived back in Buffalo, I'm sure we all feel enraged, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Damon Steele, my brother-in-law, for spraying my pack of gum whenever needed, and Kimberly Seaman, for her childishness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Jennifer Akiyama, for running a stuffed race. I have been giggling at her over the last ten hours, and it is evident that she is an awkward person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Somalia.
My first action as Head Masseuse will be to instruct the International Society of Drug dealers to shellac all hip flasks. We still have many hip flasks that have never been shellacked. More than 74 percent of the people of Buffalo and all of Somalia will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to hip flasks for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our unicorns and the moonscapes in which they live. Citizens of Buffalo, let us all slobber for progress in Somalia!