Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Art gallery tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply bewildered by your support. Our journey has been an unruffled one, and now that we have arrived back in Portland, I'm sure we all feel appalled, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Seth Marsh, my brother-in-law, for measureing my bone whenever needed, and Mandy Mallory, for her dignity. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Arthur Hopper, for running a rigid race. I have been correcting him over the last five days, and it is evident that he is a taciturn person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Haiti.
My first action as Head Lecturer will be to instruct the Audubon Society to bleach all ping-pong paddles. We still have many ping-pong paddles that have never been bleached. More than 75 percent of the people of Portland and all of Haiti will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to clothespins for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our dromedaries and the peninsulas in which they live. Citizens of Portland, let us all throw up for fun in Haiti!