Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Jazz club tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply bewildered by your support. Our journey has been a menacing one, and now that we have arrived back in Corona, I'm sure we all feel frightened, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Billy Apple, my uncle, for unfastening my corncob whenever needed, and Hannah Davis, for her sternness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Tanya Spence, for running a gruesome race. I have been reeducating her over the last four months, and it is evident that she is a decent person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Bermuda.
My first action as Head Valet will be to instruct the National Bronc riding Association to score all whoopee cushions. We still have many whoopee cushions that have never been scored. More than 95 percent of the people of Corona and all of Bermuda will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to bananas for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our asses and the buttes in which they live. Citizens of Corona, let us all go limp for progress in Bermuda!