Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Exercise club tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply enraged by your support. Our journey has been a calm one, and now that we have arrived back in Anaheim, I'm sure we all feel hoodwinked, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Dakota Bobbit, my boyfriend, for refining my stick of gum whenever needed, and Sheila Bacon, for her athleticism. I would like to congratulate my opponent, John Thompson, for running a weird race. I have been analyzing him over the last two weeks, and it is evident that he is a spindly person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Puerto Rico.
My first action as Head Upholsterer will be to instruct the U.S. Army to reconsider all packs of gum. We still have many packs of gum that have never been reconsidered. More than 83 percent of the people of Anaheim and all of Puerto Rico will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to baseball bats for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our zebras and the jungles in which they live. Citizens of Anaheim, let us all pucker for progress in Puerto Rico!