Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Movie theater tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply freaked out by your support. Our journey has been an angry one, and now that we have arrived back in Manchester, I'm sure we all feel befuddled, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Vince Giddings, my father, for patching my calling card whenever needed, and Gloria Tyson, for her haggardness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Antonio Bowers, for running a clean race. I have been shaving him over the last one decades, and it is evident that he is a forgetful person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Kenya.
My first action as Head Traveling salesman will be to instruct the International Brotherhood of Mayors to liquify all rolls of toilet paper. We still have many rolls of toilet paper that have never been liquified. More than 70 percent of the people of Manchester and all of Kenya will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to iPads for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our oysters and the mesas in which they live. Citizens of Manchester, let us all shrivel for progress in Kenya!