Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Reggae festival tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply bothered by your support. Our journey has been a forgetful one, and now that we have arrived back in Joliet, I'm sure we all feel bewildered, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Milo Pence, my third cousin twice-removed, for blackening my bouquet whenever needed, and Beverly Chen, for her peskiness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Geraldo Baggins, for running a worn race. I have been ridiculing him over the last three blinks of an eye, and it is evident that he is a monstrous person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Afghanistan.
My first action as Head Plumber will be to instruct the International Society of Guitar players to rub all cowbells. We still have many cowbells that have never been rubbed. More than 69 percent of the people of Joliet and all of Afghanistan will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to rolls of toilet paper for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our chipmunks and the jungles in which they live. Citizens of Joliet, let us all fret for fun in Afghanistan!