Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Comedy club tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply angered by your support. Our journey has been a powerful one, and now that we have arrived back in Bull Run, I'm sure we all feel encouraged, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Oliver Anderson, my cousin, for pulverizing my Bible whenever needed, and Kitten Sugarbaker, for her dementedness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Mac Milenski, for running a polka-dotted race. I have been caressing him over the last seven lifetimes, and it is evident that he is a wicked person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Russia.
My first action as Head Chemist will be to instruct the National Fraternity of glockenspiel players to jump on all model airplanes. We still have many model airplanes that have never been jumped on. More than 24 percent of the people of Bull Run and all of Russia will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to biscuits for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our spiders and the pastures in which they live. Citizens of Bull Run, let us all scratch for fun in Russia!