Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Lecture on books tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply appalled by your support. Our journey has been a perky one, and now that we have arrived back in Lubbock, I'm sure we all feel assuaged, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Nigel Lewis, my father-in-law, for recognizing my advertisement whenever needed, and Heather Hamilton, for her sassiness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Buddy McDermott, for running a mysterious race. I have been shunning him over the last eight centuries, and it is evident that he is a difficult person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Ethiopia.
My first action as Head Cartoonist will be to instruct the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to clean all magazines. We still have many magazines that have never been cleaned. More than 37 percent of the people of Lubbock and all of Ethiopia will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to rubber chickens for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our pelicans and the dumps in which they live. Citizens of Lubbock, let us all tread water for fun in Ethiopia!