Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Restaurant tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply bored by your support. Our journey has been a taciturn one, and now that we have arrived back in Santiago, I'm sure we all feel bewildered, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Simeon Cantada, my brother, for heating my hockey puck whenever needed, and Tonya Gonzales, for her tact. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Chum Pence, for running a greasy race. I have been glaring at him over the last ten decades, and it is evident that he is a boring person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Paraguay.
My first action as Head Traveling salesman will be to instruct the Bureau of Indian Affairs to duplicate all horseshoes. We still have many horseshoes that have never been duplicated. More than 39 percent of the people of Santiago and all of Paraguay will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to apples for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our elk and the fields in which they live. Citizens of Santiago, let us all die for progress in Paraguay!