Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Bingo hall tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply relieved by your support. Our journey has been a tall one, and now that we have arrived back in Eau Claire, I'm sure we all feel frightened, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Travis Shoemaker, my brother, for silencing my cowbell whenever needed, and Keiko Simon, for her sociability. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Midge Bentzinger, for running a slimy race. I have been shaving her over the last six years, and it is evident that she is an intrepid person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of China.
My first action as Head Janitor will be to instruct the Cartographers Club to mutilate all statues. We still have many statues that have never been mutilated. More than 78 percent of the people of Eau Claire and all of China will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to paperclips for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our pheasants and the gardens in which they live. Citizens of Eau Claire, let us all sneer for progress in China!