Rewrite this story

Victory Speech

Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Gay bar tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply frightened by your support. Our journey has been an emotional one, and now that we have arrived back in Krakow, I'm sure we all feel tired, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Leroy Feldman, my third cousin twice-removed, for rebuilding my fish whenever needed, and Gabriela Bradley, for her minisculeness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Nettie Roman, for running a tiny race. I have been irritating her over the last three centuries, and it is evident that she is a lazy person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Norway.

My first action as Head Nanny will be to instruct the Church of Saint Zeke to shove all Bunsen burners. We still have many Bunsen burners that have never been shoved. More than 96 percent of the people of Krakow and all of Norway will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to dolls for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our beavers and the gulches in which they live. Citizens of Krakow, let us all freeze for fun in Norway!