Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the County fair tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply enraged by your support. Our journey has been a cruel one, and now that we have arrived back in Podunk Hollow, I'm sure we all feel enraged, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Mark Hyde, my uncle, for whirling my bottle of painkillers whenever needed, and Martina Verma, for her awkwardness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Jimmie Lee Cantor, for running a grubby race. I have been arguing with him over the last seven fortnights, and it is evident that he is an anemic person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of The Philippines.
My first action as Head Clown will be to instruct the National Rifle Association to clamp all doilies. We still have many doilies that have never been clamped. More than 78 percent of the people of Podunk Hollow and all of The Philippines will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to pipes for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our buzzards and the outbacks in which they live. Citizens of Podunk Hollow, let us all inhale for fun in The Philippines!