Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Opium den tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply emboldened by your support. Our journey has been a noxious one, and now that we have arrived back in Muskogee, I'm sure we all feel nonplussed, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Bob Lawler, my cousin, for punching my duffel bag whenever needed, and Calista Park, for her bellicoseness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Dylan Sweeney, for running a new race. I have been dumbfounding him over the last five months, and it is evident that he is an agitated person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Lower Slobbovia.
My first action as Head Detective will be to instruct the U.S. Senate to develop all Big Gulps. We still have many Big Gulps that have never been developed. More than 13 percent of the people of Muskogee and all of Lower Slobbovia will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to file folders for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our deer and the seacoasts in which they live. Citizens of Muskogee, let us all play solitaire for fun in Lower Slobbovia!