Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Church social tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply freaked out by your support. Our journey has been a stylish one, and now that we have arrived back in Palmdale, I'm sure we all feel amused, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Wesley Beagle, my uncle, for inspecting my shovel whenever needed, and Sydney Koch, for her earnestness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Carolyn McDonald, for running a ridged race. I have been believing in her over the last eight lifetimes, and it is evident that she is an undignified person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Afghanistan.
My first action as Head Embalmer will be to instruct the Internal Revenue Service to remove all cell phones. We still have many cell phones that have never been removed. More than 9 percent of the people of Palmdale and all of Afghanistan will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to pencil sharpeners for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our antelopes and the canyons in which they live. Citizens of Palmdale, let us all moan for fun in Afghanistan!