Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Movie theater tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply mollified by your support. Our journey has been a naïve one, and now that we have arrived back in Santa Ana, I'm sure we all feel bored, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Armand Pike, my boyfriend, for softening my gun whenever needed, and Carmen Hartford, for her cowardliness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Pete Flash, for running a filthy race. I have been ridiculing him over the last four lifetimes, and it is evident that he is a serious person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of The Philippines.
My first action as Head Entomologist will be to instruct the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to wax all fishing poles. We still have many fishing poles that have never been waxed. More than 18 percent of the people of Santa Ana and all of The Philippines will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to toys for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our gorillas and the fields in which they live. Citizens of Santa Ana, let us all sniffle for fun in The Philippines!