Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Pie-eating contest tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply flummoxed by your support. Our journey has been a disgusting one, and now that we have arrived back in Ontario, I'm sure we all feel freaked out, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Erwin Reyes, my cousin, for admiring my diary whenever needed, and Katie Hayward, for her stubbiness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Conrad Sewell, for running a dusty race. I have been tattling on him over the last four days, and it is evident that he is an intelligent person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Jordan.
My first action as Head Hoarder will be to instruct the U.S. Senate to get all Van Goghs. We still have many Van Goghs that have never been got. More than 22 percent of the people of Ontario and all of Jordan will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to staplers for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our lemurs and the rainforests in which they live. Citizens of Ontario, let us all snuffle for progress in Jordan!