Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Striptease tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply frightened by your support. Our journey has been a perky one, and now that we have arrived back in Knoxville, I'm sure we all feel flummoxed, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Jacques Brontsky, my father-in-law, for lynching my pen whenever needed, and Krista Bransen, for her shiftiness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Upton Falcone, for running a thick race. I have been looking at him over the last nine centuries, and it is evident that he is an apoplectic person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Estonia.
My first action as Head Newscaster will be to instruct the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to annoint all muffins. We still have many muffins that have never been annointed. More than 26 percent of the people of Knoxville and all of Estonia will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to Big Gulps for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our oxen and the bogs in which they live. Citizens of Knoxville, let us all stare for progress in Estonia!