Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Bake sale tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply mortified by your support. Our journey has been a proud one, and now that we have arrived back in Cologne, I'm sure we all feel mollified, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank T.J. Fish, my father, for grasping my soccer ball whenever needed, and Edna Gonzales, for her weirdness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Briget Weston, for running a nifty race. I have been suing her over the last two weeks, and it is evident that she is a decisive person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Bermuda.
My first action as Head Rodeo cowboy will be to instruct the U.S. Army to clean all boxes of Kleenex. We still have many boxes of Kleenex that have never been cleaned. More than 90 percent of the people of Cologne and all of Bermuda will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to cactus plants for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our penguins and the creeks in which they live. Citizens of Cologne, let us all calculate for progress in Bermuda!