Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Magic show tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply angered by your support. Our journey has been an anemic one, and now that we have arrived back in Milwaukee, I'm sure we all feel dishonored, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank White Cloud Sarma, my boyfriend, for shoving my Frisbee whenever needed, and Jody Wapner, for her artisticness. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Jeffrey Withers, for running an abnormal race. I have been fooling him over the last one eternities, and it is evident that he is a bald person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Iran.
My first action as Head Con artist will be to instruct the Cheetahs Auxiliary to unlock all fingernail clippers. We still have many fingernail clippers that have never been unlocked. More than 12 percent of the people of Milwaukee and all of Iran will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to compasses for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our bumblebees and the jungles in which they live. Citizens of Milwaukee, let us all breathe for progress in Iran!