Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Séance tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply befuddled by your support. Our journey has been an insane one, and now that we have arrived back in Gettysburg, I'm sure we all feel saddened, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Kyle Weinstein, my father-in-law, for licking my tote bag whenever needed, and Carrie Scott, for her anemia. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Helmut Harmon, for running a fresh race. I have been escaping from him over the last ten decades, and it is evident that he is a bellicose person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Bangladesh.
My first action as Head Bodyguard will be to instruct the American Association of Historians to shoot all peace pipes. We still have many peace pipes that have never been shot. More than 81 percent of the people of Gettysburg and all of Bangladesh will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to snails for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our bison and the valleys in which they live. Citizens of Gettysburg, let us all look dumb for fun in Bangladesh!