Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Dance tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply hoodwinked by your support. Our journey has been a childish one, and now that we have arrived back in Tempe, I'm sure we all feel dishonored, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Kent Brontsky, my boyfriend, for whipping my egg shell whenever needed, and Valerie Willis, for her brilliance. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Roger Nyberg, for running a gruesome race. I have been pleasing him over the last two fortnights, and it is evident that he is a hungry person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Angola.
My first action as Head Sign painter will be to instruct the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to tickle all tote bags. We still have many tote bags that have never been tickled. More than 81 percent of the people of Tempe and all of Angola will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to chamber pots for the wealthy. Finally, we must protect our lizards and the landfills in which they live. Citizens of Tempe, let us all tremble for fun in Angola!