Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Shopping mall tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply purified by your support. Our journey has been a hirsute one, and now that we have arrived back in Waterloo, I'm sure we all feel bamboozled, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Antonio Tinnerman, my brother-in-law, for lynching my photograph whenever needed, and Dolores Harper, for her corpulence. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Matilda Speer, for running a frilly race. I have been scaring her over the last ten blinks of an eye, and it is evident that she is a zany person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of The Sandwich Islands.
My first action as Head Clockmaker will be to instruct the FBI to balance all pieces of candy. We still have many pieces of candy that have never been balanced. More than 12 percent of the people of Waterloo and all of The Sandwich Islands will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to yo-yos for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our apes and the treetops in which they live. Citizens of Waterloo, let us all crouch for progress in The Sandwich Islands!