Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to the Ball game tonight to celebrate our victory. I am deeply mortified by your support. Our journey has been a brave one, and now that we have arrived back in Colorado Springs, I'm sure we all feel saddened, knowing that our work has just begun. I would like to thank Damon Gibson, my uncle, for sealing my kite whenever needed, and Norma Jean Keefe, for her melancholy. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Lucas Ming, for running a cotton race. I have been judging him over the last four weeks, and it is evident that he is a cheerful person. It is time to set aside our differences and work together for the betterment of Uruguay.
My first action as Head Matador will be to instruct the Communist Party to soften all vacuum cleaners. We still have many vacuum cleaners that have never been softened. More than 27 percent of the people of Colorado Springs and all of Uruguay will immediately benefit from this change. We will strive to provide access to rolls of toilet paper for the disadvantaged. Finally, we must protect our ponies and the housing developments in which they live. Citizens of Colorado Springs, let us all burble for progress in Uruguay!