Dear Santa,
For Christmas I would like two luxurious bags of popcorn, one polka-dotted rope, two art deco Hostess Ding Dongs, and three synthetic telephones.
I have been very weird this year, so please give me more than you do Tex.
P.S. I'll put a serving of scrambled eggs and an Alka-Seltzer on the bunk bed for you.
Your friend,
Ethan