Rewrite this story

Letter To Santa

Dear Santa,

For Christmas I would like four coarse bags of groceries, three brightly-colored microphones, two fuzzy ashtrays, and three well worn corncobs.

I have been very fearless this year, so please give me more than you do Clifford.

P.S. I'll put a serving of scrambled eggs and a sarsaparilla on the floor for you.

Your friend,

Anatoly