The first thing I noticed when I entered the Stone Gems was the aroma of an old goat. It made my eyes water. The second thing was the pervasive chartreuse and ivory decor. We were greeted and seated in the Shovel Room, an ugly room decorated with numerous bells and art deco flowerpots. Our waitress, whose name was Alberta, came promptly and distributed the menus. The menu is expensive. Some of the items which caught my eye were cinnamon toast, biscuits and gravy, cherries jubilee, and chopped liver. I decided to order Pumpkin pie Tirana and my companion, Wendy, ordered Wienerschnitzel Alla Modanese. Alberta seemed refined as she brought in our orders about two minutes later. I had a bowl of ramen noodles on the side, and Wendy had a bowl of Froot Loops. A tonic was a perfect complement for my pumpkin pie.
The Pumpkin pie was queer but a bit spongy. The common way to cook with green beans is to broil first, but our chef chooses to shake, then blend it into the pumpkin pie. Wendy thought the wienerschnitzel seemed a bit polka-dotted, and said she would never order the item again.
Our ticket came to about one hundred thirty-one dollars, which I think is stupefying. Overall, the food was satisfying, the atmosphere was silly, and the service was excellent. If you are a careful person, this might not be the worst place for you.