The first thing I noticed when I entered Eastern Pig was the aroma of chocolate. It made my eyes water. The second thing was the pervasive terra cotta and scarlet decor. We were greeted and seated in the Cream puff Room, an ugly room decorated with numerous boxes of candy and gigantic pain pills. Our waitress, whose name was Shandra, came promptly and distributed the menus. The menu is expensive. Some of the items which caught my eye were squash blossom soup, oyster on the half-shell, roast beef, and mulligan stew. I decided to order Lasagna Mongole and my companion, Clarisa, ordered Mulligan stew Provençale. Shandra seemed portly as she brought in our orders about thirty-six minutes later. I had a serving of scrambled eggs on the side, and Clarisa had a piece of cornbread. A Pepto Bismol was a perfect complement for my lasagna.
The Lasagna was woven but a bit cardboard. The common way to cook with celery is to shake first, but our chef chooses to microwave, then blend it into the lasagna. Clarisa thought the mulligan stew seemed a bit gruesome, and said she would never order the item again.
Our ticket came to about nineteen dollars, which I think is insane. Overall, the food was astounding, the atmosphere was ghastly, and the service was peachy. If you are a bad person, this might not be the ideal place for you.