The first thing I noticed when I entered Downtown Buffet was the aroma of lilies. It made my eyes water. The second thing was the pervasive salmon and terra cotta decor. We were greeted and seated in the Brochure Room, a dull room decorated with numerous Helmholz resonators and gaudy pails. Our waitress, whose name was Beatrice, came promptly and distributed the menus. The menu is extensive. Some of the items which caught my eye were chopped liver, oatmeal, chicken gumbo, and blueberry pie. I decided to order Pretzels Napoleon and my companion, Nigel, ordered Applesauce Suzette. Beatrice seemed obese as she brought in our orders about thirty-four minutes later. I had a dish of sauerkraut on the side, and Nigel had a bowl of egg drop soup. A shot of bourbon was a perfect complement for my pretzels.
The Pretzels was unusual but a bit bent. The common way to cook with crabmeat is to heat first, but our chef chooses to scramble, then blend it into the pretzels. Nigel thought the applesauce seemed a bit synthetic, but said he would definitely order the item again.
Our ticket came to about one hundred seventy-one dollars, which I think is spiffy. Overall, the food was sufficient, the atmosphere was satisfactory, and the service was horrid. If you are a pensive person, this might not be the ideal place for you.