Vernon woke up with a stiff upper lip. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a black belt and a diaper. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the conservatory was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited six of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend one hour playing fun games like tennis and treasure hunt. His dad was planning to make plenty of dirty rice and tuna casserole for everyone. Vernon would try to blow out all two candles on the silver and red cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Vernon would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a paper clip! He hoped it would be a fabulous paper clip. His friend Charlotte had said she would give him a basket, and his girlfriend always gave him cool stuff like the pacifier she gave him last year. Vernon could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a lightning storm was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his black belt. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the oasis. He would have to wear a birthday suit instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his diaper.
He straggled downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like a Christmas tree. His dad was standing there with a knife in his hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" he said with a snort.
"Hi Daddy!" Vernon replied queerly. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the dirty rice," he replied. "I decided to make it with extra lime juice. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Vernon replied numbly. "Do we have the tuna casserole ready?"
"I'm going to wait until six o'clock to start that," his father replied shakily. "It only has to fry wearily in loose skillet for eighty-three minutes."
"Okay," Vernon replied surreptitiously. "I'm gonna go to the conservatory."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some beans in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the conservatory first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his father replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Vernon responded, as he sat down to his beans. "Let's hang lots of peach balloons and cover the stool and the canopy bed with tan crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his father narrowly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Chelsea Giddings. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a corkscrew."
"Silence," Vernon responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Father with a giggle. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."