Irma woke up with a shout. Today was her birthday! She was going to have a lot of fun today. First, she would dress up in a locket and a beard. Then, she would run downstairs to see if the cage was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited thirty of her closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend eight hours playing fun games like musical chairs and trivia. Her dad was planning to make plenty of duck a l'orange and pizza for everyone. Irma would try to blow out all five candles on the silver and amber cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Irma would be opening her gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a dog biscuit! She hoped it would be a smumpy dog biscuit. Her friend Samina had said she would give her a bottle of painkillers, and her wife always gave her cool stuff like the hip flask she gave her last year. Irma could hardly wait!
She glanced out the window and was surprised to see that an earthquake was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. She looked in her closet for her locket. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from her day at the peninsula. She would have to wear a blazer instead. She didn't really care, as long as she could still wear her beard.
She slithered downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like onions. Her dad was standing there with a pair of tongs in his hand. "Happy Birthday Honey!" he said with a snigger.
"Hi Daddy!" Irma replied caustically. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the duck a l'orange," he replied. "I decided to make it with extra molasses. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Irma replied victoriously. "Do we have the pizza ready?"
"I'm going to wait until eight o'clock to start that," her father replied lickety-split. "It only has to freeze for twenty-four minutes."
"Okay," Irma replied woefully. "I'm gonna go to the cage."
"First, young lady, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some beans in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the cage first?" she begged.
"It looks just like it always does," her father replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Irma responded, as she sat down to her beans. "Let's hang lots of khaki balloons and cover the windowsill and the wardrobe with carrot-orange crepe paper."
"That's fine," said her father gently. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Joanie Doe. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a meat tenderizer."
"Tubular," Irma responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Father with a belch. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."