Newt woke up with a flutter. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a babushka and a shirt. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the closet was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited twenty-seven of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend four hours playing fun games like dodge ball and Monopoly. His mom was planning to make plenty of dry toast and pretzels for everyone. Newt would try to blow out all seven candles on the green and ivory cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Newt would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a dead polar bear! He hoped it would be a stolen dead polar bear. His friend Sebastian had said he would give him a chair, and his wife always gave him cool stuff like the radio she gave him last year. Newt could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a hot, sunny day was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his babushka. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the grassy knoll. He would have to wear a bonnet instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his shirt.
He skittered downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like a feed lot. His mom was standing there with an electric paint mixer in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with an evil eye.
"Hi Mommy!" Newt replied craftily. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the dry toast," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra fresh parsley. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Newt replied menacingly. "Do we have the pretzels ready?"
"I'm going to wait until twelve o'clock to start that," his mother replied hopelessly. "It only has to whirl for sixty-seven minutes."
"Okay," Newt replied awkwardly. "I'm gonna go to the closet."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some catfish stew in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the closet first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Newt responded, as he sat down to his catfish stew. "Let's hang lots of fuchsia balloons and cover the ironing board and the hamper with brown crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother happily. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Janet Barbee. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a dish cloth."
"For heaven's sake," Newt responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a pucker. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."