Alexander woke up with a stiff upper lip. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a pair of Crocs and a bear costume. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the oubliette was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited eleven of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend five hours playing fun games like charades and crazy eights. His mom was planning to make plenty of waffles and omelet for everyone. Alexander would try to blow out all seven candles on the metallic red and turquoise cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Alexander would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a bedpan! He hoped it would be a shiny bedpan. His friend Mickey had said he would give him a Helmholz resonator, and his grandpa always gave him cool stuff like the urn she gave him last year. Alexander could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a gale was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his pair of Crocs. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the moonscape. He would have to wear a cap instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his bear costume.
He sallied forth downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like rotting meat. His mom was standing there with a candy thermometer in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with a sneer.
"Hi Mommy!" Alexander replied grandly. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the waffles," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra Canadian bacon. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Alexander replied unabashedly. "Do we have the omelet ready?"
"I'm going to wait until three o'clock to start that," his mother replied gingerly. "It only has to allow to rise in warm place for several hours for thirty-seven minutes."
"Okay," Alexander replied courageously. "I'm gonna go to the oubliette."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some pizza in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the oubliette first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Alexander responded, as he sat down to his pizza. "Let's hang lots of scarlet balloons and cover the bookcase and the rocking chair with navy blue crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother stupidly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Wesley Ward. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a bare foot."
"Shiver me timbers," Alexander responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a sneeze. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."