Hilda woke up with a curtsey. Today was her birthday! She was going to have a lot of fun today. First, she would dress up in a maxi skirt and a thong. Then, she would run downstairs to see if the laundry room was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited eleven of her closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend two hours playing fun games like ring around the rosie and leapfrog. Her mom was planning to make plenty of shrimp and bonbons for everyone. Hilda would try to blow out all twenty candles on the carrot-orange and brilliant orange cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Hilda would be opening her gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a purse! She hoped it would be a fuzzy purse. Her friend Parson had said he would give her a contract, and her dad always gave her cool stuff like the dollar bill she gave her last year. Hilda could hardly wait!
She glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a hot, sunny day was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. She looked in her closet for her maxi skirt. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from her day at the seacoast. She would have to wear a letter jacket instead. She didn't really care, as long as she could still wear her thong.
She dashed downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like manure. Her mom was standing there with a strainer in her hand. "Happy Birthday Honey!" she said with a twitch.
"Hi Mommy!" Hilda replied pitifully. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the shrimp," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra clam juice. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Hilda replied hopefully. "Do we have the bonbons ready?"
"I'm going to wait until ten o'clock to start that," her mother replied joyously. "It only has to boil for twelve minutes."
"Okay," Hilda replied innocently. "I'm gonna go to the laundry room."
"First, young lady, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some chocolate-covered ants in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the laundry room first?" she begged.
"It looks just like it always does," her mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Hilda responded, as she sat down to her chocolate-covered ants. "Let's hang lots of amber balloons and cover the dishwasher and the stairway with sparkly crepe paper."
"That's fine," said her mother greedily. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Winifred Swoopes. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a paring knife."
"When pigs fly," Hilda responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a furrowed brow. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."