René woke up with a stiff upper lip. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a pair of earrings and a pair of booties. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the doghouse was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited twelve of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend six hours playing fun games like Russian roulette and croquet. His dad was planning to make plenty of fried chicken and tofu for everyone. René would try to blow out all five candles on the amber and red cake. While the guests were eating their cake, René would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a brochure! He hoped it would be a rusty brochure. His friend Magnolia had said she would give him a bicycle, and his grandpa always gave him cool stuff like the iPod she gave him last year. René could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that an earthquake was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his pair of earrings. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the pasture. He would have to wear a pair of heels instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his pair of booties.
He tore downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like natural gas. His dad was standing there with an electric paint mixer in his hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" he said with a grimace.
"Hi Daddy!" René replied crankily. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the fried chicken," he replied. "I decided to make it with extra mozzarella cheese. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," René replied courteously. "Do we have the tofu ready?"
"I'm going to wait until twelve o'clock to start that," his father replied wearily. "It only has to refrigerate overnight for fifty-nine minutes."
"Okay," René replied irritably. "I'm gonna go to the doghouse."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some sweet potatoes in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the doghouse first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his father replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," René responded, as he sat down to his sweet potatoes. "Let's hang lots of aquamarine balloons and cover the rug and the pedestal with yellow crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his father shakily. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Clarisse Ortiz. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a sharp knife."
"Jeepers creepers," René responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Father with a pout. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."