Maloney woke up with a face palm. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a cloak and a pair of dentures. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the guest room was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited twenty-three of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend two hours playing fun games like Scrabble and tennis. His mom was planning to make plenty of lobster and spaghetti for everyone. Maloney would try to blow out all twenty-three candles on the terra cotta and emerald green cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Maloney would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a bag of groceries! He hoped it would be a ridiculous bag of groceries. His friend Brad had said he would give him a hat, and his mother always gave him cool stuff like the bottle of painkillers she gave him last year. Maloney could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a sleet storm was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his cloak. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the grassland. He would have to wear a cummerbund instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his pair of dentures.
He pranced downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like cherry blossoms. His mom was standing there with a ladle in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with a sneer.
"Hi Mommy!" Maloney replied speedily. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the lobster," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra peeled carrots. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Maloney replied hopefully. "Do we have the spaghetti ready?"
"I'm going to wait until nine o'clock to start that," his mother replied peevishly. "It only has to blend for forty-seven minutes."
"Okay," Maloney replied stupidly. "I'm gonna go to the guest room."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some ramen noodles in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the guest room first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Maloney responded, as he sat down to his ramen noodles. "Let's hang lots of beige balloons and cover the filing cabinet and the sofa with beige crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother hopefully. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Keiko Portwine. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a spoon."
"Crud," Maloney responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a hiccup. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."