Lori woke up with a smile. Today was her birthday! She was going to have a lot of fun today. First, she would dress up in a G-string and a burqa. Then, she would run downstairs to see if the pool room was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited twenty-five of her closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend five hours playing fun games like seven-up and duck duck goose. Her mom was planning to make plenty of bread and butter and sauerkraut for everyone. Lori would try to blow out all thirty-three candles on the black and ivory cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Lori would be opening her gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a napkin! She hoped it would be a hollow napkin. Her friend Macon had said he would give her a padlock, and her dad always gave her cool stuff like the stopwatch she gave her last year. Lori could hardly wait!
She glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a thunderstorm was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. She looked in her closet for her G-string. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from her day at the neighborhood. She would have to wear a pair of boxer shorts instead. She didn't really care, as long as she could still wear her burqa.
She cantered downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like a saloon. Her mom was standing there with a cheesecloth in her hand. "Happy Birthday Honey!" she said with a curtsey.
"Hi Mommy!" Lori replied intensely. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the bread and butter," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra turmeric. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Lori replied ingeniously. "Do we have the sauerkraut ready?"
"I'm going to wait until eight o'clock to start that," her mother replied crazily. "It only has to place on serving dish for forty-one minutes."
"Okay," Lori replied unabashedly. "I'm gonna go to the pool room."
"First, young lady, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some scrambled eggs in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the pool room first?" she begged.
"It looks just like it always does," her mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Lori responded, as she sat down to her scrambled eggs. "Let's hang lots of magenta balloons and cover the rocking chair and the washstand with khaki crepe paper."
"That's fine," said her mother nimbly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Elaine Harrison. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a melon baller."
"Lord be praised," Lori responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a woof. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."