Paul woke up with a curtsey. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a diaper and a skirt. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the pantry was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited twenty-nine of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend one hour playing fun games like crazy eights and roulette. His mom was planning to make plenty of strawberry shortcake and bread and butter for everyone. Paul would try to blow out all twenty-eight candles on the beige and sparkly cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Paul would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a jar of olives! He hoped it would be a dirty jar of olives. His friend Jesus had said he would give him a sack of potatoes, and his mentor always gave him cool stuff like the clothespin she gave him last year. Paul could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a pelting rainstorm was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his diaper. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the landfill. He would have to wear a vest instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his skirt.
He slipped downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like rotting meat. His mom was standing there with a ladle in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with a sniffle.
"Hi Mommy!" Paul replied excitedly. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the strawberry shortcake," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra chicken. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Paul replied merrily. "Do we have the bread and butter ready?"
"I'm going to wait until six o'clock to start that," his mother replied furiously. "It only has to deep fry for twenty-four minutes."
"Okay," Paul replied suavely. "I'm gonna go to the pantry."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some oyster on the half-shell in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the pantry first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Paul responded, as he sat down to his oyster on the half-shell. "Let's hang lots of rose balloons and cover the cupboard and the casket with scarlet crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother jokingly. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Clarisse Martinez. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a melon baller."
"Isht," Paul responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a caress. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."