Jessi woke up with a dope slap. Today was her birthday! She was going to have a lot of fun today. First, she would dress up in a necklace and a tinfoil hat. Then, she would run downstairs to see if the outhouse was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited thirty of her closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend one hour playing fun games like red rover and old maid. Her dad was planning to make plenty of bread and butter and hamburgers for everyone. Jessi would try to blow out all eighteen candles on the purple and carrot-orange cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Jessi would be opening her gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a blank check! She hoped it would be a worn blank check. Her friend Jeanette had said she would give her a piggy bank, and her friend always gave her cool stuff like the hubcap she gave her last year. Jessi could hardly wait!
She glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a dust storm was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. She looked in her closet for her necklace. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from her day at the pasture. She would have to wear a pair of shoes instead. She didn't really care, as long as she could still wear her tinfoil hat.
She stormed downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like wine. Her dad was standing there with a wooden spoon in his hand. "Happy Birthday Honey!" he said with a death glare.
"Hi Daddy!" Jessi replied shyly. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the bread and butter," he replied. "I decided to make it with extra margarine. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Jessi replied anxiously. "Do we have the hamburgers ready?"
"I'm going to wait until seven o'clock to start that," her father replied wildly. "It only has to sauté for fifty-eight minutes."
"Okay," Jessi replied slyly. "I'm gonna go to the outhouse."
"First, young lady, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some dirty rice in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the outhouse first?" she begged.
"It looks just like it always does," her father replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Jessi responded, as she sat down to her dirty rice. "Let's hang lots of jade balloons and cover the pedestal and the counter with brown crepe paper."
"That's fine," said her father merrily. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Sadie Rosen. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a corkscrew."
"Poppycock," Jessi responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Father with a flutter. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."