Patrick woke up with a power fist. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a bulletproof vest and a trench coat. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the study was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited nineteen of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend seven hours playing fun games like Russian roulette and billiards. His mom was planning to make plenty of chocolate-covered ants and lobster for everyone. Patrick would try to blow out all twenty-two candles on the beige and green cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Patrick would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a diamond! He hoped it would be a stuffed diamond. His friend Joseph had said he would give him a stamp, and his mother always gave him cool stuff like the roll of toilet paper she gave him last year. Patrick could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a flood was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his bulletproof vest. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the bog. He would have to wear a bandana instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his trench coat.
He waded downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like lilies. His mom was standing there with a potato masher in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with a face palm.
"Hi Mommy!" Patrick replied flightily. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the chocolate-covered ants," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra ground lamb. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Patrick replied threateningly. "Do we have the lobster ready?"
"I'm going to wait until twelve o'clock to start that," his mother replied fearfully. "It only has to blend for eighty-one minutes."
"Okay," Patrick replied uneasily. "I'm gonna go to the study."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some hors d'oeuvre in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the study first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Patrick responded, as he sat down to his hors d'oeuvre. "Let's hang lots of lime-green balloons and cover the overstuffed chair and the pedestal with aquamarine crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother dolorously. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite Tv star, Clarabell Delgado. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has a dull knife."
"Marvelous," Patrick responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a snicker. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."