Charlie woke up with a smack. Today was his birthday! He was going to have a lot of fun today. First, he would dress up in a tam o'shanter and a negligee. Then, he would run downstairs to see if the hall was decorated and ready for the party. They had invited sixteen of his closest friends. When everyone arrived, they would spend eight hours playing fun games like red rover and crazy eights. His mom was planning to make plenty of dry toast and country glazed ham for everyone. Charlie would try to blow out all twelve candles on the brilliant orange and green cake. While the guests were eating their cake, Charlie would be opening his gifts. Maybe the first package would contain a fossil! He hoped it would be a cheap fossil. His friend Cedric had said he would give him a Van Gogh, and his wife always gave him cool stuff like the bowling ball she gave him last year. Charlie could hardly wait!
He glanced out the window and was surprised to see that a period of warm weather was on its way. Hopefully, that wouldn't deter anyone from coming. He looked in his closet for his tam o'shanter. It wasn't there. Uh oh. It was still dirty from his day at the cesspool. He would have to wear a diamond necklace instead. He didn't really care, as long as he could still wear his negligee.
He swung downstairs and went into the kitchen. It smelled like sauerkraut. His mom was standing there with a Sham-Wow! in her hand. "Happy Birthday Son!" she said with a blush.
"Hi Mommy!" Charlie replied defiantly. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making the dry toast," she replied. "I decided to make it with extra cod fillets. Hope that's okay with you."
"I guess so," Charlie replied carelessly. "Do we have the country glazed ham ready?"
"I'm going to wait until six o'clock to start that," his mother replied nonchalantly. "It only has to toast for sixty-six minutes."
"Okay," Charlie replied shakily. "I'm gonna go to the hall."
"First, young man, you need to have some breakfast. I've got some doughnuts in the skillet for you."
"Can't I just take a peek at the hall first?" he begged.
"It looks just like it always does," his mother replied. "Remember, I'm depending on you to help with the decorating."
"Oh yeah," Charlie responded, as he sat down to his doughnuts. "Let's hang lots of orange balloons and cover the table and the bed with black crepe paper."
"That's fine," said his mother greedily. "The paper plates and napkins have pictures of your favorite singer, Laura Foreman. Set the table with them, and make sure everyone has an electric paint mixer."
"Weird," Charlie responded. "I'm done, can I get started with the decorating now?"
"I think you inhaled your food," said Mother with a hug. "Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."