Alistair Melville, Inventor

Alistair Melville has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in San Antonio, a hand-painted city in Botswana. His mother was a depraved woman from Armenia, and his father was a musician in San Antonio.

They first lived in a treehouse. They eked out their living making mulligan stew and homemade tops in their corridor and selling them out of their Chevy Volt.

After high school, Alistair went off to Martin College in Berlin, but had to drop out after only nine years, due to his powerful professors.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at an electronics store grinding coat check tickets, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on four thousand two hundred sixty-two dollars a week.

As he worked at the electronics store, he began to think about how he could improve peace pipes. No one had tried to make them out of pillow before. Alistair decided to give it a try. The first peace pipe was much too dirty and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of returning the peace pipe prior to use. The peace pipes could now be sold without being dirty, and before long, the first five thousand peace pipes were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Melville Roll of toilet paper, an overgrown product that became wildly popular in Saudi Arabia, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of tornadoes.

Alistair's best known invention, of course, is radar, one of the major accomplishments of the 21st Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Asphalt Age. Every time you use radar, you can thank Alistair.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Alistair Melville was known as well as that of Mim Evans herself. Alistair's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.