Jay Kettle, Inventor

Jay Kettle has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Berlin, an amazing city in Bermuda. His mother was a cantankerous woman from Zambia, and his father was an attorney in Berlin.

They first lived in a chateau. They eked out their living making tuna casserole and homemade paper airplanes in their rec room and selling them out of their Hum-Vee.

After high school, Jay went off to Indiana College in Córdoba, but had to drop out after only seven years, due to his dapper personality.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at a perfumery annointing vases, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on six hundred twenty dollars a week.

As he worked at the perfumery, he began to think about how he could improve coconuts. No one had tried to make them out of slime before. Jay decided to give it a try. The first coconut was much too papery and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of crushing the coconut prior to use. The coconuts could now be sold without being papery, and before long, the first six hundred coconuts were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Kettle Coin, a filthy product that became wildly popular in Netherlands, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of dense fogs.

Jay's best known invention, of course, is the machine gun, one of the major accomplishments of the 19th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Cornhusk Age. Every time you use the machine gun, you can thank Jay.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Jay Kettle was known as well as that of Peter Gilson himself. Jay's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.