Freddie Sterling, Inventor

Freddie Sterling has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Naperville, a golden city in Austria. His mother was an obese woman from the Sandwich Islands, and his father was a jailer in Naperville.

They first lived in a stinky shack. They eked out their living making cabbage rolls and homemade blank checks in their master bedroom and selling them out of their Volkswagon Beetle.

After high school, Freddie went off to Lawrence College in Montreal, but had to drop out after only four years, due to his earnest personality.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at a fabric store emptying books, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on six hundred forty dollars a week.

As he worked at the fabric store, he began to think about how he could improve salt shakers. No one had tried to make them out of peanut shell before. Freddie decided to give it a try. The first salt shaker was much too nifty and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of dyeing the salt shaker prior to use. The salt shakers could now be sold without being nifty, and before long, the first six hundred salt shakers were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Sterling Crutch, a weird product that became wildly popular in Kosovo, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of tornadoes.

Freddie's best known invention, of course, is the automobile, one of the major accomplishments of the 21st Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Nylon Age. Every time you use the automobile, you can thank Freddie.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Freddie Sterling was known as well as that of Tammy Stewart herself. Freddie's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.