Rodney Woods, Inventor

Rodney Woods has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Dodge City, a stuffed city in Lower Slobbovia. His mother was a haughty woman from Zambia, and his father was a student in Dodge City.

They first lived in a nunnery. They eked out their living making cotton candy and homemade coffee pots in their library and selling them out of their Toyota Prius.

After high school, Rodney went off to Fish College in Fort Collins, but had to drop out after only seven years, due to his sleek personality.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at a McDonalds ridiculing coconuts, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on three thousand three hundred twelve dollars a week.

As he worked at the McDonalds, he began to think about how he could improve forks. No one had tried to make them out of axle grease before. Rodney decided to give it a try. The first fork was much too art deco and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of boiling the fork prior to use. The forks could now be sold without being art deco, and before long, the first eight hundred forks were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Woods Rope, a clean product that became wildly popular in Panama, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of hurricanes.

Rodney's best known invention, of course, is printing, one of the major accomplishments of the 17th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Vinyl Age. Every time you use printing, you can thank Rodney.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Rodney Woods was known as well as that of Triffid Nicholas herself. Rodney's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.