Roger Schmoe, Inventor

Roger Schmoe has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Montevideo, a hand-made city in Mongolia. His mother was a sexy woman from Australia, and his father was an accountant in Montevideo.

They first lived in an office. They eked out their living making hot dogs and homemade mops in their pool room and selling them out of their cement truck.

After high school, Roger went off to Nilsson College in Fort Wayne, but had to drop out after only three years, due to his deadly personality.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at a malt shop grabbing computers, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on one thousand seven hundred thirty dollars a week.

As he worked at the malt shop, he began to think about how he could improve cotton balls. No one had tried to make them out of fabric before. Roger decided to give it a try. The first cotton ball was much too plain and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of bleaching the cotton ball prior to use. The cotton balls could now be sold without being plain, and before long, the first six hundred cotton balls were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Schmoe Padlock, a striking product that became wildly popular in Poland, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of hailstorms.

Roger's best known invention, of course, is the polygraph, one of the major accomplishments of the 19th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Plastic Age. Every time you use the polygraph, you can thank Roger.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Roger Schmoe was known as well as that of Esther Sullivan herself. Roger's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.