Humphrey Schlick, Inventor

Humphrey Schlick has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Austin, a heavy city in Canada. His mother was a dreadful woman from Botswana, and his father was a fire marshal in Austin.

They first lived in a dugout. They eked out their living making dirty rice and homemade tops in their kitchen and selling them out of their monster truck.

After high school, Humphrey went off to Moodle College in Grand Rapids, but had to drop out after only seven years, due to his suave professors.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at a clothing store greasing golf clubs, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on three thousand six hundred sixty-four dollars a week.

As he worked at the clothing store, he began to think about how he could improve pairs of headphones. No one had tried to make them out of walnut before. Humphrey decided to give it a try. The first pair of headphones was much too rare and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of repositioning the pair of headphones prior to use. The pairs of headphones could now be sold without being rare, and before long, the first eight thousand pairs of headphones were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Schlick Fingernail clipper, a dusty product that became wildly popular in Indonesia, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of humid days.

Humphrey's best known invention, of course, is bubble gum, one of the major accomplishments of the 21st Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Plastic Age. Every time you use bubble gum, you can thank Humphrey.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Humphrey Schlick was known as well as that of Alissa Barton herself. Humphrey's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.