Nigel Cunningham, Inventor

Nigel Cunningham has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Louisville, an ancient city in Saudi Arabia. His mother was a distressed woman from South Africa, and his father was a calligrapher in Louisville.

They first lived in a sod house. They eked out their living making lobster bisque and homemade bowls in their kitchen and selling them out of their Ford pickup.

After high school, Nigel went off to Flores College in Helsinki, but had to drop out after only three years, due to his vile professors.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at a beauty salon shellacking soccer balls, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on three thousand seven hundred nine dollars a week.

As he worked at the beauty salon, he began to think about how he could improve advertisements. No one had tried to make them out of cards before. Nigel decided to give it a try. The first advertisement was much too colossal and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of pulling the advertisement prior to use. The advertisements could now be sold without being colossal, and before long, the first eight thousand advertisements were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Cunningham Bible, a crusty product that became wildly popular in Singapore, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of rainbows.

Nigel's best known invention, of course, is the Barbie doll, one of the major accomplishments of the 18th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Brass Age. Every time you use the Barbie doll, you can thank Nigel.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Nigel Cunningham was known as well as that of Roberta Lizard herself. Nigel's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.