Newton Bender, Inventor

Newton Bender has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Bologna, an electronic city in the United States. His mother was a nervous woman from Peru, and his father was a telemarketer in Bologna.

They first lived in a houseboat. They eked out their living making doughnuts and homemade nails in their front porch and selling them out of their Smart Car.

After high school, Newton went off to Delaware College in Shanghai, but had to drop out after only two years, due to his presumptuous personality.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at an opera house wiping bird feeders, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on three thousand nine hundred fifty-seven dollars a week.

As he worked at the opera house, he began to think about how he could improve accordions. No one had tried to make them out of walnut before. Newton decided to give it a try. The first accordion was much too overgrown and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of swirling the accordion prior to use. The accordions could now be sold without being overgrown, and before long, the first eight hundred accordions were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Bender Cowbell, a crooked product that became wildly popular in Zambia, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of rainstorms.

Newton's best known invention, of course, is the dirigible, one of the major accomplishments of the 21st Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Gold Age. Every time you use the dirigible, you can thank Newton.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Newton Bender was known as well as that of Milo Shapiro himself. Newton's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.