Candy Gare, Inventor

Candy Gare has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that she came from very humble roots. She was born in Copenhagen, a ridiculous city in Albania. Her mother was a dismal woman from Romania, and her father was a hit man in Copenhagen.

They first lived in a treehouse. They eked out their living making chocolate-covered ants and homemade Van Goghs in their boiler room and selling them out of their carriage.

After high school, Candy went off to Arizona College in Cologne, but had to drop out after only one year, due to her peculiar personality.

Forced to make her own living, she first worked at a tobacco shop mutilating towels, but she didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on four thousand three hundred sixty-one dollars a week.

As she worked at the tobacco shop, she began to think about how she could improve baskets. No one had tried to make them out of flax before. Candy decided to give it a try. The first basket was much too hand-made and she became discouraged, but she persevered, and eventually came up with a method of duplicating the basket prior to use. The baskets could now be sold without being hand-made, and before long, the first eight hundred baskets were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Gare Telephone, an excellent product that became wildly popular in Botswana, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of humid days.

Candy's best known invention, of course, is the bikini, one of the major accomplishments of the 18th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Antimatter Age. Every time you use the bikini, you can thank Candy.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Candy Gare was known as well as that of Peter Gonzales himself. Candy's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.