Eppie Badwell, Inventor

Eppie Badwell has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that she came from very humble roots. She was born in Timbuktu, a worn city in Malta. Her mother was a slimy woman from Australia, and her father was a fashion designer in Timbuktu.

They first lived in a Victorian mansion. They eked out their living making dry toast and homemade hats in their foyer and selling them out of their Chrysler New Yorker.

After high school, Eppie went off to Iowa College in Fullerton, but had to drop out after only eight years, due to her frumpy personality.

Forced to make her own living, she first worked at a mortuary comprehending skulls, but she didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on eight hundred seventy-three dollars a week.

As she worked at the mortuary, she began to think about how she could improve antennas. No one had tried to make them out of sod before. Eppie decided to give it a try. The first antenna was much too ordinary and she became discouraged, but she persevered, and eventually came up with a method of uncovering the antenna prior to use. The antennas could now be sold without being ordinary, and before long, the first two hundred antennas were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Badwell Lemon, a torn product that became wildly popular in Bangladesh, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of rainbows.

Eppie's best known invention, of course, is the thermometer, one of the major accomplishments of the 19th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Peanut butter Age. Every time you use the thermometer, you can thank Eppie.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Eppie Badwell was known as well as that of Rob Harmon himself. Eppie's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.