Arnie Apple, Inventor

Arnie Apple has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Corona, a miniature city in Georgia. His mother was a witty woman from Angola, and his father was a fire marshal in Corona.

They first lived in a homeless shelter. They eked out their living making borscht and homemade darts in their workshop and selling them out of their Chrysler New Yorker.

After high school, Arnie went off to Galloza College in Osaka, but had to drop out after only four years, due to his fuzzy professors.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at a popcorn shop duplicating dollar bills, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on eight hundred nineteen dollars a week.

As he worked at the popcorn shop, he began to think about how he could improve boxes. No one had tried to make them out of stucco before. Arnie decided to give it a try. The first box was much too dirty and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of kicking the box prior to use. The boxes could now be sold without being dirty, and before long, the first eight thousand boxes were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Apple Houseplant, a puzzling product that became wildly popular in The Czech Republic, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of rainbows.

Arnie's best known invention, of course, is the dirigible, one of the major accomplishments of the 19th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Dirt Age. Every time you use the dirigible, you can thank Arnie.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Arnie Apple was known as well as that of Tina Smirnov herself. Arnie's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.