Clarabell Dixon, Inventor

Clarabell Dixon has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that she came from very humble roots. She was born in Torrance, a porcelain city in Turkey. Her mother was a gargantuan woman from Romania, and her father was a zoologist in Torrance.

They first lived in a crypt. They eked out their living making pumpkin pie and homemade umbrellas in their pantry and selling them out of their Lamborghini.

After high school, Clarabell went off to Arp College in Davenport, but had to drop out after only six years, due to her melancholic personality.

Forced to make her own living, she first worked at an art museum compressing sticks of gum, but she didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on three thousand seven hundred fifty-four dollars a week.

As she worked at the art museum, she began to think about how she could improve boxes of Kleenex. No one had tried to make them out of stardust before. Clarabell decided to give it a try. The first box of Kleenex was much too crude and she became discouraged, but she persevered, and eventually came up with a method of shaving the box of Kleenex prior to use. The boxes of Kleenex could now be sold without being crude, and before long, the first six hundred boxes of Kleenex were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Dixon Lemon, a fuzzy product that became wildly popular in Serbia, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of sandstorms.

Clarabell's best known invention, of course, is the parachute, one of the major accomplishments of the 17th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Kevlar Age. Every time you use the parachute, you can thank Clarabell.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Clarabell Dixon was known as well as that of Anita Tutu herself. Clarabell's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.