Martha Mantzios, Inventor

Martha Mantzios has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that she came from very humble roots. She was born in Kabul, a delicate city in Indonesia. Her mother was an impish woman from Egypt, and her father was a bootlegger in Kabul.

They first lived in a loft. They eked out their living making catfish stew and homemade wastebaskets in their foyer and selling them out of their monster truck.

After high school, Martha went off to Utah College in Pasadena, but had to drop out after only five years, due to her conscientious personality.

Forced to make her own living, she first worked at a mortuary measureing toothbrushes, but she didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on two thousand four hundred ninety-one dollars a week.

As she worked at the mortuary, she began to think about how she could improve batons. No one had tried to make them out of wool before. Martha decided to give it a try. The first baton was much too ruined and she became discouraged, but she persevered, and eventually came up with a method of unfolding the baton prior to use. The batons could now be sold without being ruined, and before long, the first seven hundred batons were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Mantzios Billfold, a gross product that became wildly popular in Japan, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of thunderstorms.

Martha's best known invention, of course, is the microphone, one of the major accomplishments of the 21st Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Deer hide Age. Every time you use the microphone, you can thank Martha.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Martha Mantzios was known as well as that of Mookie Sludge himself. Martha's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.