Pippa Springer, Inventor

Pippa Springer has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that she came from very humble roots. She was born in Cairo, a delicate city in Guatemala. Her mother was a pigeon-toed woman from Panama, and her father was a magician in Cairo.

They first lived in a houseboat. They eked out their living making potatoes and gravy and homemade mops in their dungeon and selling them out of their Volkswagon Beetle.

After high school, Pippa went off to Illinois College in Calgary, but had to drop out after only eight years, due to her vacuous professors.

Forced to make her own living, she first worked at a barbershop inspecting pencil sharpeners, but she didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on four thousand forty-five dollars a week.

As she worked at the barbershop, she began to think about how she could improve skulls. No one had tried to make them out of stardust before. Pippa decided to give it a try. The first skull was much too fresh and she became discouraged, but she persevered, and eventually came up with a method of grappling the skull prior to use. The skulls could now be sold without being fresh, and before long, the first two thousand skulls were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Springer Book, a gooey product that became wildly popular in Puerto Rico, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of thunderstorms.

Pippa's best known invention, of course, is Coca-Cola, one of the major accomplishments of the 19th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Grass Age. Every time you use Coca-Cola, you can thank Pippa.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Pippa Springer was known as well as that of Millicent Killeen himself. Pippa's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.