Wes Schmoe, Inventor

Wes Schmoe has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Beijing, a dusty city in Latvia. His mother was a rude woman from Puerto Rico, and his father was a nurse in Beijing.

They first lived in a flat. They eked out their living making refried beans and homemade bones in their kitchen and selling them out of their Pontiac LeMans.

After high school, Wes went off to Elwood College in Charlotte, but had to drop out after only nine years, due to his impish professors.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at an opera house enclosing paper clips, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on four thousand three hundred ninety-seven dollars a week.

As he worked at the opera house, he began to think about how he could improve dog biscuits. No one had tried to make them out of sugar before. Wes decided to give it a try. The first dog biscuit was much too coarse and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of dusting the dog biscuit prior to use. The dog biscuits could now be sold without being coarse, and before long, the first two thousand dog biscuits were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Schmoe Avocado, a clean product that became wildly popular in Sweden, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of hot, sunny days.

Wes's best known invention, of course, is quantum theory, one of the major accomplishments of the 18th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Sheet metal Age. Every time you use quantum theory, you can thank Wes.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Wes Schmoe was known as well as that of Alexis Cantrell herself. Wes's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.