Dorian Vandewater, Inventor

Dorian Vandewater has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Chicago, a bronze city in Uruguay. His mother was a brazen woman from China, and his father was a pianist in Chicago.

They first lived in a wikiup. They eked out their living making Froot Loops and homemade peace pipes in their cage and selling them out of their Ford Transit.

After high school, Dorian went off to South Carolina College in Manila, but had to drop out after only five years, due to his dark personality.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at a psychic reading business slapping church keys, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on three thousand seven hundred six dollars a week.

As he worked at the psychic reading business, he began to think about how he could improve bedpans. No one had tried to make them out of old bone before. Dorian decided to give it a try. The first bedpan was much too tiny and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of kicking the bedpan prior to use. The bedpans could now be sold without being tiny, and before long, the first five hundred bedpans were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Vandewater Houseplant, a magnificent product that became wildly popular in Finland, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of windy days.

Dorian's best known invention, of course, is cheese, one of the major accomplishments of the 17th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Lithium Age. Every time you use cheese, you can thank Dorian.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Dorian Vandewater was known as well as that of Vic Sanchez himself. Dorian's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.