Seth Spooner, Inventor

Seth Spooner has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Glendale, a fancy city in Slovakia. His mother was a frumpy woman from Somalia, and his father was a sword swallower in Glendale.

They first lived in a manor. They eked out their living making pie a la mode and homemade microphones in their hall and selling them out of their Porsche.

After high school, Seth went off to Hawaii College in Tokyo, but had to drop out after only two years, due to his prickly personality.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at a mortuary measureing corncobs, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on three thousand one hundred sixty-nine dollars a week.

As he worked at the mortuary, he began to think about how he could improve pairs of scissors. No one had tried to make them out of old bottle before. Seth decided to give it a try. The first pair of scissors was much too porcelain and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of uncovering the pair of scissors prior to use. The pairs of scissors could now be sold without being porcelain, and before long, the first three hundred pairs of scissors were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Spooner Pipe, a dirty product that became wildly popular in Poland, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of gales.

Seth's best known invention, of course, is the machine gun, one of the major accomplishments of the 18th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Palm leaf Age. Every time you use the machine gun, you can thank Seth.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Seth Spooner was known as well as that of Vince Bryant himself. Seth's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.