Charles Darnell, Inventor

Charles Darnell has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Kiev, a new city in Lower Slobbovia. His mother was an emotional woman from Canada, and his father was a telephone operator in Kiev.

They first lived in a studio. They eked out their living making roast beef and homemade pairs of binoculars in their pool room and selling them out of their Model T.

After high school, Charles went off to Phillips College in Cairo, but had to drop out after only five years, due to his relaxed personality.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at a music store pruning potatoes, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on three thousand seventy-six dollars a week.

As he worked at the music store, he began to think about how he could improve spittoons. No one had tried to make them out of noodles before. Charles decided to give it a try. The first spittoon was much too ornate and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of cooking the spittoon prior to use. The spittoons could now be sold without being ornate, and before long, the first eight hundred spittoons were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Darnell Biscuit, a hideous product that became wildly popular in Jordan, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of periods of warm weather.

Charles's best known invention, of course, is the contact lens, one of the major accomplishments of the 18th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Peanut shell Age. Every time you use the contact lens, you can thank Charles.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Charles Darnell was known as well as that of Jeanette Gray herself. Charles's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.