Christian Moretti, Inventor

Christian Moretti has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Bonn, a leather city in Macedonia. His mother was a monstrous woman from Venezuela, and his father was a yoga instructor in Bonn.

They first lived in a monastery. They eked out their living making ham and homemade pain pills in their attic and selling them out of their Acura.

After high school, Christian went off to Usher College in Boston, but had to drop out after only four years, due to his disagreeable personality.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at a deli watching saws, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on one thousand six hundred thirty-three dollars a week.

As he worked at the deli, he began to think about how he could improve paperweights. No one had tried to make them out of cast iron before. Christian decided to give it a try. The first paperweight was much too grubby and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of strengthening the paperweight prior to use. The paperweights could now be sold without being grubby, and before long, the first seven hundred paperweights were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Moretti Soccer ball, a smelly product that became wildly popular in Algeria, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of sandstorms.

Christian's best known invention, of course, is the steam engine, one of the major accomplishments of the 19th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Fabric Age. Every time you use the steam engine, you can thank Christian.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Christian Moretti was known as well as that of Kitten King herself. Christian's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.