Russell Freeman, Inventor

Russell Freeman has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Corpus Christi, a gigantic city in Kazakhstan. His mother was a disagreeable woman from Belize, and his father was a diver in Corpus Christi.

They first lived in a hut. They eked out their living making fried chicken and homemade flash drives in their pool room and selling them out of their handcart.

After high school, Russell went off to Salinger College in San Bernardino, but had to drop out after only four years, due to his muscular personality.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at a candy store twisting brushes, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on nine hundred fifty-six dollars a week.

As he worked at the candy store, he began to think about how he could improve pink flamingoes. No one had tried to make them out of fabric before. Russell decided to give it a try. The first pink flamingo was much too nice and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of disguising the pink flamingo prior to use. The pink flamingoes could now be sold without being nice, and before long, the first seven hundred pink flamingoes were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Freeman File folder, a delicate product that became wildly popular in Tibet, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of drizzles.

Russell's best known invention, of course, is peanut butter, one of the major accomplishments of the 19th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Corncob Age. Every time you use peanut butter, you can thank Russell.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Russell Freeman was known as well as that of Lauren McDonald herself. Russell's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.