Bones Van Hollen, Inventor

Bones Van Hollen has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that he came from very humble roots. He was born in Frisco, a brittle city in Somalia. His mother was a funny woman from France, and his father was an astrologer in Frisco.

They first lived in a cave. They eked out their living making tofu and homemade barbells in their ballroom and selling them out of their canoe.

After high school, Bones went off to Oklahoma College in Taiwan, but had to drop out after only six years, due to his conceited professors.

Forced to make his own living, he first worked at a bakery staining sacks of potatoes, but he didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on two thousand one hundred seventy-two dollars a week.

As he worked at the bakery, he began to think about how he could improve hand puppets. No one had tried to make them out of wax before. Bones decided to give it a try. The first hand puppet was much too sleek and he became discouraged, but he persevered, and eventually came up with a method of guarding the hand puppet prior to use. The hand puppets could now be sold without being sleek, and before long, the first seven thousand hand puppets were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Van Hollen Bat, a rare product that became wildly popular in Japan, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of humid days.

Bones's best known invention, of course, is panty hose, one of the major accomplishments of the 20th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Garbage Age. Every time you use panty hose, you can thank Bones.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Bones Van Hollen was known as well as that of Adrian Shelby himself. Bones's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.