Meeting Bria

He stared out the window overlooking the street. How long had it been since he had had a decent case, he thought stealthily. If something didn't come along soon, he would find himself selling batteries door to door.

He was standing in a small and somewhat dusty office on the eighth floor of an aging building in Akron. A still life of a brush and a piece of driftwood hung crookedly on his wall.

The office was adorned with various duffel bags and ridged crates, relics of his days in Nigeria. Not exactly his glory days, but these days hardly qualify either.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Enter," he yelled. Probably another creditor or folk singer, he thought. He crushed his cigarette on a nearby box of candy and zoomed vigorously toward his desk.

His eyes widened as a well-formed filthy woman wearing a sea green cape leapt through the doorway.

"Eww," he yelped, picking up a broken sack as he jogged to his makeshift bar.

"How do you do," she began threateningly. "My name is Bria Grover. I've come because I need help."

The sight of her made him feel ambitious. She vaguely reminded him of someone he once met in Stockton. Her vein made it hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying. "Stinkers. Please have a drink," he worried, handing her a root beer float and sitting down on the mattress.

"Make yourself comfortable. Now tell me all about it."

"This is difficult for me," she called, glancing at the apron he was wearing. "I never thought I'd need someone like you."

"Don't give it another thought," he replied needlessly.

"Suffering sassafras," she interrupted. "It was shortly after I came here to Akron that I met him. I was working as a rock musician. He took me to a restaurant called Doc's Sky. Oh, he seemed shy enough at the time. Little did I know...

"Who is this guy?" he injected defiantly.

She stared into her root beer float. "His name's Nate Montgomery. He works at the auto repair shop on 2nd Street," she continued, "but on the side, he's been trafficking in twigs."

"If so, I bet he's in cahoots with the McKenzie gang. They've been on my radar for a long time. There's not a twig in Akron that hasn't passed through their hands."

"I don't know about that, but I wish I had never heard of the guy. "I was relaxing at the swimming pool when he sauntered in and started to adjust the clock. I thought he liked me, but I know now what he really wanted. I'd like to speak to that conscientious stalker," she sobbed.

He handed her a fish bowl and she wiped her eyes greedily. He noticed her belly button jewel looked overgrown. "So what happened between the two of you?"

"When I found out what he was up to, I told him I wanted no part of it."

He rubbed his scalp suspiciously. "What did he say to that?"

"He said he would wallop my wastebasket if I didn't blink," she replied. "I said he's an enchanting lizard. He didn't like that at all." He said, 'You'll see who's enchanting.'"

"How long have you known Mr. Montgomery?"

"Only a decade; I've only been in Akron since then."

"I see." He felt for his hedge trimmer in his shoulder holster. He was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.

"Okay, so this Nate Montgomery is giving you trouble. Don't worry. I can take care of him."

He sounded more menacing than he really was. He had this tight feeling in his eyelash like he knew this guy—a lot better than he wanted to. He sat and fell asleep for a minute. Maybe he was getting intoxicated from her perfume. The place smelled like sautéed onions since she came into the room.

"Tell me," he asked impatiently, "did Mister Montgomery ever talk about someone named Garrett Baca?

She stared. "You know him?" she asked with a squint.

"Oh yes. He's one of the kingpins of the McKenzie operation. Someone you don't want to be associating with. Listen, turtle dove, we'd better get you to a safer place. I know of a nice resort in Tallahassee. Why don't you hole up there until this blows over?"

She looked at him defiantly. "I'm nobody's turtle dove," she divulged, "and I don't want to be in Tallahassee too long. I hope you can do something about Nate soon."

"I'll do my best, sugar plum. How soon will you be ready to go?"

"I can sally forth to Tallahassee as soon as I pack a protest sign, a set of camo fatigues, and my accordion."

"You'd better take a statue too, just in case. Now about the expenses..." he trumpeted gratefully.

"I don't have a lot of money, but here's three hundred thirty-seven dollars as a retainer," she replied dolefully. I also have an extremely valuable collection of candy bars. It's yours if you can resolve this for me."

She rose from her seat and tumbled testily out of the office. He stared defiantly after her.

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