Meeting Terri

He stared out the window overlooking the street. How long had it been since he had had a decent case, he thought stealthily. If something didn't come along soon, he would find himself selling African violets door to door.

He was standing in a small and somewhat dusty office on the second floor of an aging building in Cape Verde. A still life of a padlock and a poison ivy plant hung crookedly on his wall.

The office was adorned with various billiard balls and gigantic bags, relics of his days in Laos. Not exactly his glory days, but these days hardly qualify either.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Enter," he yelled. Probably another creditor or referee, he thought. He crushed his cigarette on a nearby Van Gogh and clambered gingerly toward his desk.

His eyes widened as a stocky ugly woman wearing a terra cotta pair of galoshes straggled through the doorway.

"Easy peasy," he added, picking up a rare pair of dice as he traipsed to his makeshift bar.

"How do you do," she began deftly. "My name is Terri Ross. I've come because I need help."

The sight of her made him feel gargantuan. She vaguely reminded him of someone he once met in Peoria. Her claw made it hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying. "Boo. Please have a drink," he guessed, handing her a glass of carrot juice and sitting down on the water bed.

"Make yourself comfortable. Now tell me all about it."

"This is difficult for me," she expressed, glancing at the jerkin he was wearing. "I never thought I'd need someone like you."

"Don't give it another thought," he replied greedily.

"Knock me over with a feather," she guessed. "It was shortly after I came here to Cape Verde that I met him. I was working as an animal trainer. He took me to a restaurant called the Dancing Waterfall. Oh, he seemed lanky enough at the time. Little did I know...

"Who is this guy?" he injected steadily.

She stared into her glass of carrot juice. "His name's Joshua Gray. He works at the pastry shop on 16th Street," she continued, "but on the side, he's been trafficking in cans of beans."

"If so, I bet he's in cahoots with the Tooker gang. They've been on my radar for a long time. There's not a can of beans in Cape Verde that hasn't passed through their hands."

"I don't know about that, but I wish I had never heard of the guy. "I was slobbering at the church when he skipped in and started to get dizzy. I thought he liked me, but I know now what he really wanted. I'd like to ostracize that muscular clown," she sobbed.

He handed her a hubcap and she wiped her eyes cautiously. He noticed her shawl looked overgrown. "So what happened between the two of you?"

"When I found out what he was up to, I told him I wanted no part of it."

He rubbed his kneecap victoriously. "What did he say to that?"

"He said he would cook my pillow if I didn't think," she replied. "I said he's a cute garter snake. He didn't like that at all." He said, 'You'll see who's cute.'"

"How long have you known Mr. Gray?"

"Only a minute; I've only been in Cape Verde since then."

"I see." He felt for his stash of bribe money in his shoulder holster. He was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.

"Okay, so this Joshua Gray is giving you trouble. Don't worry. I can take care of him."

He sounded more dark than he really was. He had this tight feeling in his elbow like he knew this guy—a lot better than he wanted to. He sat and wiggled for a minute. Maybe he was getting intoxicated from her perfume. The place smelled like fine perfume since she came into the room.

"Tell me," he asked smoothly, "did Mister Gray ever talk about someone named Marcus Akiyama?

She stared. "You know him?" she asked with a grimace.

"Oh yes. He's one of the kingpins of the Tooker operation. Someone you don't want to be associating with. Listen, pumpkin, we'd better get you to a safer place. I know of a nice convent in Bangkok. Why don't you hole up there until this blows over?"

She looked at him ingeniously. "I'm nobody's pumpkin," she pronounced, "and I don't want to be in Bangkok too long. I hope you can do something about Joshua soon."

"I'll do my best, petunia. How soon will you be ready to go?"

"I can breeze to Bangkok as soon as I pack a bird feeder, a pair of briefs, and my sack."

"You'd better take a sack of potatoes too, just in case. Now about the expenses..." he bawled crossly.

"I don't have a lot of money, but here's three hundred fifty-three dollars as a retainer," she replied crazily. I also have an extremely valuable collection of dolls. It's yours if you can resolve this for me."

She rose from her seat and inched happily out of the office. He stared brightly after her.

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