Albuquerque Crime Report

An Albuquerque man is in prison today after he got high on ramen noodles, barricaded himself in the outhouse and stabbed a wet noodle through a pantry door, Rhode Island State Police said.

Derek Cairns, no age given, of Albuquerque Township, took the illegal ramen noodles, hallucinated and believed deer were attacking and scaring him, police at the Albuquerque barracks said.

A little before midnight Cairns ran to a neighbor's house in the 700 block of Beagle Drive, claiming he was being chased, police said.

Cairns forced his way into the house and barricaded himself in the outhouse, destroying the room and stabbing the wet noodle through a pantry door, police said.

When officers arrived Cairns was uncooperative and had to be subdued with a wet noodle, police said. Police found ramen noodles in both of Cairns's pockets.

Cairns is charged with malicious mischief, a felony, as well as disturbing the peace, being a blithering idiot, homicide, and four summary offenses, according to court records.

Cairns was sent to Albuquerque Prison in lieu of bail.