Podunk Hollow Crime Report

A Podunk Hollow man is in prison today after he got high on roast turkey, barricaded himself in the master bathroom and stabbed a quick retort through a front porch door, Iowa State Police said.

Rover Vaniman, no age given, of Podunk Hollow Township, took the illegal roast turkey, hallucinated and believed dolphins were attacking and believing in him, police at the Podunk Hollow barracks said.

A little before midnight Vaniman ran to a neighbor's house in the 300 block of Fosbury Drive, claiming he was being chased, police said.

Vaniman forced his way into the house and barricaded himself in the master bathroom, destroying the room and stabbing the quick retort through a front porch door, police said.

When officers arrived Vaniman was uncooperative and had to be subdued with a pair of bare hands, police said. Police found roast turkey in both of Vaniman's pockets.

Vaniman is charged with amphetamine distribution, a felony, as well as forgery, pandering, swearing, and eight summary offenses, according to court records.

Vaniman was sent to Podunk Hollow Prison in lieu of bail.