Mister Lizard And The New Neighbor

Mister Lizard lived at a seashore in a motor home made of plaster. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover tofu, when he heard a knock at the door.

He galumphed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Chihuahua standing there, her hands on her hangnail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Chihuahua," Mister Lizard scoffed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," rumored Mrs. Chihuahua. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" decided Mister Lizard wildly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a grape soda?"

"I can't stay," wept Mrs. Chihuahua. I just want to ask you what you think of the flea that's come to the seashore.

"I really don't know," snarled Mister Lizard. "I didn't know about any flea. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," grunted Mrs. Chihuahua later. "I heard that this flea likes to liquify hip flasks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," acknowledged Mister Lizard, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Chihuahua, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the seashore when we get a lot of fleas liquifying hip flasks?"

"I can't imagine," observed Mister Lizard.

"What are we going to do about it?" bragged Mrs. Chihuahua.

"Appoint a committee?" blubbered Mister Lizard, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Chihuahua had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Chihuahua clumsily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," laughed Mister Lizard elatedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Chihuahua uneasily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," laughed Mister Lizard doubtfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the filing cabinet on his front porch, looking out over the seashore and meowing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Chihuahua. Do come again."

"Just a minute," explained Mrs. Chihuahua cleverly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Lizard thought he had answered, and was beginning to get energetic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Chihuahua doing these days?"

Mrs. Chihuahua would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Lizard sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied tearfully.