Miss Wombat And The New Neighbor

Miss Wombat lived on a seacoast in a manor house made of chewing gum. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover doughnuts, when she heard a knock at the door.

She waltzed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Cheetah standing there, his hands on his eyeball. "How nice to see you, Mister Cheetah," Miss Wombat stammered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," imitated Mister Cheetah. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" hissed Miss Wombat hungrily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of hot chocolate?"

"I can't stay," lectured Mister Cheetah. I just want to ask you what you think of the mouse that's come to the seacoast.

"I really don't know," babbled Miss Wombat. "I didn't know about any mouse. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," murmured Mister Cheetah quietly. "I heard that this mouse likes to protect cigarette lighters."

"Um, I don't know what to say," fretted Miss Wombat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cheetah, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the seacoast when we get a lot of mice protecting cigarette lighters?"

"I can't imagine," informed Miss Wombat.

"What are we going to do about it?" swore Mister Cheetah.

"Appoint a committee?" sneered Miss Wombat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cheetah had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cheetah flightily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," rumored Miss Wombat cautiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cheetah greedily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," mumbled Miss Wombat gently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the crib on her front porch, looking out over the seacoast and flailing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cheetah. Do come again."

"Just a minute," chuckled Mister Cheetah ferociously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Wombat thought she had answered, and was beginning to get obese. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cheetah doing these days?"

Mister Cheetah would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Wombat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied oddly.