Mister Pheasant And The New Neighbor

Mister Pheasant lived in a garden in a teepee made of axle grease. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover applesauce, when he heard a knock at the door.

He hopped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Leopard standing there, his hands on his knuckle. "How nice to see you, Mister Leopard," Mister Pheasant invited, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," ranted Mister Leopard. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" debated Mister Pheasant sharply, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

"I can't stay," mumbled Mister Leopard. I just want to ask you what you think of the goldfish that's come to the garden.

"I really don't know," recited Mister Pheasant. "I didn't know about any goldfish. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," professed Mister Leopard roughly. "I heard that this goldfish likes to jump on cigars."

"Um, I don't know what to say," preached Mister Pheasant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Leopard, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the garden when we get a lot of goldfish jumping on cigars?"

"I can't imagine," opined Mister Pheasant.

"What are we going to do about it?" interrupted Mister Leopard.

"Appoint a committee?" realized Mister Pheasant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Leopard had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Leopard patiently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," judged Mister Pheasant busily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Leopard kindly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," opined Mister Pheasant tenderly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the washing machine on his front porch, looking out over the garden and dressing up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Leopard. Do come again."

"Just a minute," spat Mister Leopard automatically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Pheasant thought he had answered, and was beginning to get cowardly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Leopard doing these days?"

Mister Leopard would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Pheasant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sourly.