Mister Porcupine And The New Neighbor

Mister Porcupine lived on a ridge in a geodesic dome made of aluminum foil. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover borscht, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slid to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Macaque standing there, her hands on her dignity. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Macaque," Mister Porcupine brought up, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," shrieked Mrs. Macaque. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" judged Mister Porcupine reluctantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Long Island iced tea?"

"I can't stay," instructed Mrs. Macaque. I just want to ask you what you think of the wolverine that's come to the ridge.

"I really don't know," spouted Mister Porcupine. "I didn't know about any wolverine. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," disputed Mrs. Macaque sheepishly. "I heard that this wolverine likes to taste candy canes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sniffed Mister Porcupine, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Macaque, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the ridge when we get a lot of wolverines tasting candy canes?"

"I can't imagine," yawned Mister Porcupine.

"What are we going to do about it?" giggled Mrs. Macaque.

"Appoint a committee?" crooned Mister Porcupine, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Macaque had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Macaque testily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," admitted Mister Porcupine deftly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Macaque doubtfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," expressed Mister Porcupine sleepily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the desk on his front porch, looking out over the ridge and rejoicing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Macaque. Do come again."

"Just a minute," commented Mrs. Macaque grandly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Porcupine thought he had answered, and was beginning to get atrocious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Macaque doing these days?"

Mrs. Macaque would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Porcupine sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied anxiously.