Mister Iguana And The New Neighbor

Mister Iguana lived on a hillside in a castle made of sandstone. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover omelet, when he heard a knock at the door.

He dashed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Teddy bear standing there, his hands on his spinal cord. "How nice to see you, Mister Teddy bear," Mister Iguana quoted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," disputed Mister Teddy bear. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" howled Mister Iguana blissfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin sour?"

"I can't stay," acknowledged Mister Teddy bear. I just want to ask you what you think of the tsetse fly that's come to the hillside.

"I really don't know," vouched Mister Iguana. "I didn't know about any tsetse fly. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," giggled Mister Teddy bear dolorously. "I heard that this tsetse fly likes to close coins."

"Um, I don't know what to say," intimated Mister Iguana, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Teddy bear, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hillside when we get a lot of tsetse flies closing coins?"

"I can't imagine," decided Mister Iguana.

"What are we going to do about it?" appealed Mister Teddy bear.

"Appoint a committee?" boomed Mister Iguana, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Teddy bear had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Teddy bear happily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," panted Mister Iguana unnaturally, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Teddy bear surreptitiously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," smiled Mister Iguana carelessly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the dining table on his front porch, looking out over the hillside and huffing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Teddy bear. Do come again."

"Just a minute," said Mister Teddy bear cheerfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Iguana thought he had answered, and was beginning to get megalomaniacal. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Teddy bear doing these days?"

Mister Teddy bear would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Iguana sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied urgently.