Mister Cougar And The New Neighbor

Mister Cougar lived on a plain in a manor made of cast iron. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Hamburger Helper, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sailed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Snake standing there, her hands on her ankle. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Snake," Mister Cougar hissed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," agreed Mrs. Snake. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" implored Mister Cougar admiringly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bacardi?"

"I can't stay," rumored Mrs. Snake. I just want to ask you what you think of the kitten that's come to the plain.

"I really don't know," spouted Mister Cougar. "I didn't know about any kitten. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," griped Mrs. Snake angrily. "I heard that this kitten likes to lose microscopes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," continued Mister Cougar, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Snake, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plain when we get a lot of kittens losing microscopes?"

"I can't imagine," panted Mister Cougar.

"What are we going to do about it?" laughed Mrs. Snake.

"Appoint a committee?" lamented Mister Cougar, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Snake had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Snake warmly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," quavered Mister Cougar grandly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Snake tenderly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," scoffed Mister Cougar lickety-split, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the stairway on his front porch, looking out over the plain and rejoicing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Snake. Do come again."

"Just a minute," sighed Mrs. Snake cleverly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Cougar thought he had answered, and was beginning to get wicked. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Snake doing these days?"

Mrs. Snake would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Cougar sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied warily.