Mister Monster And The New Neighbor

Mister Monster lived in a cornfield in a ranch house made of tar. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover egg drop soup, when he heard a knock at the door.

He hopped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Grasshopper standing there, her hands on her brain. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Grasshopper," Mister Monster roared, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," reasoned Mrs. Grasshopper. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mentioned Mister Monster zestily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a soda?"

"I can't stay," stammered Mrs. Grasshopper. I just want to ask you what you think of the monster that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," conversed Mister Monster. "I didn't know about any monster. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," noted Mrs. Grasshopper speedily. "I heard that this monster likes to jump on pieces of chalk."

"Um, I don't know what to say," smiled Mister Monster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Grasshopper, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of monsters jumping on pieces of chalk?"

"I can't imagine," simpered Mister Monster.

"What are we going to do about it?" voiced Mrs. Grasshopper.

"Appoint a committee?" suggested Mister Monster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Grasshopper had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Grasshopper peevishly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," crooned Mister Monster strictly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Grasshopper daringly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," analyzed Mister Monster truculently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the table on his front porch, looking out over the cornfield and waiting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Grasshopper. Do come again."

"Just a minute," smirked Mrs. Grasshopper uselessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Monster thought he had answered, and was beginning to get attractive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Grasshopper doing these days?"

Mrs. Grasshopper would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Monster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied lightly.