Miss Guinea Pig And The New Neighbor

Miss Guinea pig lived in a valley in a sand castle made of ceramic. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover banana split, when she heard a knock at the door.

She waded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Rattlesnake standing there, her hands on her lung. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Rattlesnake," Miss Guinea pig trumpeted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," purred Mrs. Rattlesnake. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" offered Miss Guinea pig grandly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a martini?"

"I can't stay," divulged Mrs. Rattlesnake. I just want to ask you what you think of the kitty that's come to the valley.

"I really don't know," articulated Miss Guinea pig. "I didn't know about any kitty. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," affirmed Mrs. Rattlesnake courageously. "I heard that this kitty likes to toss candy canes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," reminded Miss Guinea pig, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Rattlesnake, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the valley when we get a lot of kitties tossing candy canes?"

"I can't imagine," argued Miss Guinea pig.

"What are we going to do about it?" appealed Mrs. Rattlesnake.

"Appoint a committee?" analyzed Miss Guinea pig, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Rattlesnake had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Rattlesnake sarcastically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," barked Miss Guinea pig brashly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Rattlesnake daintily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," drawled Miss Guinea pig courageously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the counter on her front porch, looking out over the valley and buzzing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Rattlesnake. Do come again."

"Just a minute," urged Mrs. Rattlesnake speedily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Guinea pig thought she had answered, and was beginning to get muscular. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Rattlesnake doing these days?"

Mrs. Rattlesnake would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Guinea pig sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied clumsily.