Mister Hippopotamus And The New Neighbor

Mister Hippopotamus lived on a grassy knoll in a hovel made of felt. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cabbage, when he heard a knock at the door.

He bounced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Robot standing there, her hands on her midriff. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Robot," Mister Hippopotamus gasped, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," voiced Mrs. Robot. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" lamented Mister Hippopotamus zestily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of papaya juice?"

"I can't stay," warbled Mrs. Robot. I just want to ask you what you think of the sheep that's come to the grassy knoll.

"I really don't know," expressed Mister Hippopotamus. "I didn't know about any sheep. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," shouted Mrs. Robot temperamentally. "I heard that this sheep likes to overlook pacifiers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," enunciated Mister Hippopotamus, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Robot, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassy knoll when we get a lot of sheep overlooking pacifiers?"

"I can't imagine," debated Mister Hippopotamus.

"What are we going to do about it?" preached Mrs. Robot.

"Appoint a committee?" offered Mister Hippopotamus, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Robot had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Robot pityingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," answered Mister Hippopotamus despondently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Robot smoothly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," repeated Mister Hippopotamus vigorously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the coffee table on his front porch, looking out over the grassy knoll and going limp. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Robot. Do come again."

"Just a minute," rambled Mrs. Robot admiringly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Hippopotamus thought he had answered, and was beginning to get depraved. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Robot doing these days?"

Mrs. Robot would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Hippopotamus sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied bitterly.