Mister Sasquatch And The New Neighbor

Mister Sasquatch lived in a briar patch in an apartment made of slate. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken chow mein, when he heard a knock at the door.

He trekked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Flea standing there, his hands on his heart. "How nice to see you, Mister Flea," Mister Sasquatch thought, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," proposed Mister Flea. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" whined Mister Sasquatch sharply, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of milk?"

"I can't stay," reminded Mister Flea. I just want to ask you what you think of the crab that's come to the briar patch.

"I really don't know," imitated Mister Sasquatch. "I didn't know about any crab. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," laughed Mister Flea uselessly. "I heard that this crab likes to distort bowls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," preached Mister Sasquatch, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Flea, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the briar patch when we get a lot of crabs distorting bowls?"

"I can't imagine," responded Mister Sasquatch.

"What are we going to do about it?" grieved Mister Flea.

"Appoint a committee?" brought up Mister Sasquatch, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Flea had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Flea kindly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," conversed Mister Sasquatch oddly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Flea smoothly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," snorted Mister Sasquatch ignobly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the wine rack on his front porch, looking out over the briar patch and twitching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Flea. Do come again."

"Just a minute," bragged Mister Flea crossly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Sasquatch thought he had answered, and was beginning to get crafty. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Flea doing these days?"

Mister Flea would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Sasquatch sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied fiercely.