Mister Deer And The New Neighbor

Mister Deer lived in a park in a chapel made of slate. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover spaghetti, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sashayed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Badger standing there, her hands on her wig. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Badger," Mister Deer professed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yammered Mrs. Badger. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" divulged Mister Deer lightly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Tom Collins?"

"I can't stay," wailed Mrs. Badger. I just want to ask you what you think of the raccoon that's come to the park.

"I really don't know," suggested Mister Deer. "I didn't know about any raccoon. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," asked Mrs. Badger lovingly. "I heard that this raccoon likes to punch shovels."

"Um, I don't know what to say," protested Mister Deer, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Badger, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the park when we get a lot of raccoons punching shovels?"

"I can't imagine," continued Mister Deer.

"What are we going to do about it?" grieved Mrs. Badger.

"Appoint a committee?" swore Mister Deer, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Badger had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Badger oddly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," declared Mister Deer openly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Badger grudgingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," remarked Mister Deer mysteriously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the buffet on his front porch, looking out over the park and taking a bath. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Badger. Do come again."

"Just a minute," amended Mrs. Badger deliberately. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Deer thought he had answered, and was beginning to get noxious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Badger doing these days?"

Mrs. Badger would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Deer sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied bravely.