Miss Hamster And The New Neighbor

Miss Hamster lived in a pond in a resort made of lace. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover burritos, when she heard a knock at the door.

She scurried to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Monkey standing there, her hands on her vein. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Monkey," Miss Hamster trumpeted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yawned Mrs. Monkey. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" indicated Miss Hamster offhandedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a bottle of rum?"

"I can't stay," articulated Mrs. Monkey. I just want to ask you what you think of the beagle that's come to the pond.

"I really don't know," stormed Miss Hamster. "I didn't know about any beagle. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," requested Mrs. Monkey mysteriously. "I heard that this beagle likes to maintain crackers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sniffed Miss Hamster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Monkey, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the pond when we get a lot of beagles maintaining crackers?"

"I can't imagine," whined Miss Hamster.

"What are we going to do about it?" cackled Mrs. Monkey.

"Appoint a committee?" disputed Miss Hamster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Monkey had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Monkey coolly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," quoted Miss Hamster fervently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Monkey primly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," offered Miss Hamster offhandedly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the buffet on her front porch, looking out over the pond and rejoicing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Monkey. Do come again."

"Just a minute," shouted Mrs. Monkey sternly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Hamster thought she had answered, and was beginning to get sober. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Monkey doing these days?"

Mrs. Monkey would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Hamster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied busily.