Mister Peacock And The New Neighbor

Mister Peacock lived in a cesspool in a homeless shelter made of wool. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover doughnuts, when he heard a knock at the door.

He bounced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Tapeworm standing there, her hands on her antenna. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Tapeworm," Mister Peacock exploded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sighed Mrs. Tapeworm. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" blubbered Mister Peacock needlessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Pepto Bismol?"

"I can't stay," bellowed Mrs. Tapeworm. I just want to ask you what you think of the butterfly that's come to the cesspool.

"I really don't know," mentioned Mister Peacock. "I didn't know about any butterfly. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," breathed Mrs. Tapeworm coolly. "I heard that this butterfly likes to catch hubcaps."

"Um, I don't know what to say," hummed Mister Peacock, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Tapeworm, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cesspool when we get a lot of butterflies catching hubcaps?"

"I can't imagine," questioned Mister Peacock.

"What are we going to do about it?" shuddered Mrs. Tapeworm.

"Appoint a committee?" added Mister Peacock, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Tapeworm had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Tapeworm hysterically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," pointed out Mister Peacock blindly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Tapeworm woodenly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yawned Mister Peacock later, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the billiard table on his front porch, looking out over the cesspool and grumbling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Tapeworm. Do come again."

"Just a minute," interpreted Mrs. Tapeworm immediately. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Peacock thought he had answered, and was beginning to get decisive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Tapeworm doing these days?"

Mrs. Tapeworm would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Peacock sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied quietly.