Mister Gopher And The New Neighbor

Mister Gopher lived on a range in a trailer made of old rags. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lobster, when he heard a knock at the door.

He flounced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Meerkat standing there, her hands on her waist. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Meerkat," Mister Gopher rebutted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," said Mrs. Meerkat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" murmured Mister Gopher cautiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a whiskey sour?"

"I can't stay," yowled Mrs. Meerkat. I just want to ask you what you think of the dachshund that's come to the range.

"I really don't know," informed Mister Gopher. "I didn't know about any dachshund. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," whispered Mrs. Meerkat arrogantly. "I heard that this dachshund likes to hook fishing poles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," continued Mister Gopher, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Meerkat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the range when we get a lot of dachshunds hooking fishing poles?"

"I can't imagine," guessed Mister Gopher.

"What are we going to do about it?" clarified Mrs. Meerkat.

"Appoint a committee?" warbled Mister Gopher, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Meerkat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Meerkat ferociously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," conversed Mister Gopher boisterously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Meerkat ruefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," barked Mister Gopher proudly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the pedestal on his front porch, looking out over the range and jerking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Meerkat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," disputed Mrs. Meerkat firmly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Gopher thought he had answered, and was beginning to get merry. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Meerkat doing these days?"

Mrs. Meerkat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Gopher sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied solemnly.