Mister Mule And The New Neighbor

Mister Mule lived on an island in a box made of gravel. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pie a la mode, when he heard a knock at the door.

He proceeded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Salamander standing there, his hands on his foot. "How nice to see you, Mister Salamander," Mister Mule screamed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," shrieked Mister Salamander. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" boomed Mister Mule wildly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of tequila?"

"I can't stay," babbled Mister Salamander. I just want to ask you what you think of the garter snake that's come to the island.

"I really don't know," ranted Mister Mule. "I didn't know about any garter snake. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," whispered Mister Salamander viciously. "I heard that this garter snake likes to rattle bowling balls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," winked Mister Mule, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Salamander, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the island when we get a lot of garter snakes rattling bowling balls?"

"I can't imagine," imitated Mister Mule.

"What are we going to do about it?" scoffed Mister Salamander.

"Appoint a committee?" explained Mister Mule, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Salamander had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Salamander shyly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," bellowed Mister Mule flightily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Salamander lazily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," guessed Mister Mule frenetically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the casket on his front porch, looking out over the island and frowning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Salamander. Do come again."

"Just a minute," hissed Mister Salamander lickety-split. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Mule thought he had answered, and was beginning to get young. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Salamander doing these days?"

Mister Salamander would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Mule sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied smoothly.