Mister Doberman And The New Neighbor

Mister Doberman lived on a mountainside in a church made of corncobs. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover crumb cake, when he heard a knock at the door.

He capered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Android standing there, her hands on her pancreas. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Android," Mister Doberman rumored, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," cried Mrs. Android. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" admitted Mister Doberman quietly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a sassafras tea?"

"I can't stay," hummed Mrs. Android. I just want to ask you what you think of the squirrel that's come to the mountainside.

"I really don't know," belched Mister Doberman. "I didn't know about any squirrel. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," brought up Mrs. Android violently. "I heard that this squirrel likes to lose footballs."

"Um, I don't know what to say," blubbered Mister Doberman, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Android, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountainside when we get a lot of squirrels losing footballs?"

"I can't imagine," conversed Mister Doberman.

"What are we going to do about it?" orated Mrs. Android.

"Appoint a committee?" cackled Mister Doberman, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Android had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Android tearfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," queried Mister Doberman violently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Android ignobly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," worried Mister Doberman firmly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the end table on his front porch, looking out over the mountainside and blinking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Android. Do come again."

"Just a minute," whispered Mrs. Android stupidly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Doberman thought he had answered, and was beginning to get stylish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Android doing these days?"

Mrs. Android would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Doberman sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sourly.