Mister Weasel And The New Neighbor

Mister Weasel lived in a cornfield in a stinky shack made of oak. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover duck a l'orange, when he heard a knock at the door.

He scooted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Anaconda standing there, his hands on his abdomen. "How nice to see you, Mister Anaconda," Mister Weasel pleaded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," uttered Mister Anaconda. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" gasped Mister Weasel strangely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mudslide?"

"I can't stay," drawled Mister Anaconda. I just want to ask you what you think of the dormouse that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," hummed Mister Weasel. "I didn't know about any dormouse. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," amended Mister Anaconda sorrowfully. "I heard that this dormouse likes to melt toys."

"Um, I don't know what to say," voiced Mister Weasel, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Anaconda, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of dormice melting toys?"

"I can't imagine," sniveled Mister Weasel.

"What are we going to do about it?" offered Mister Anaconda.

"Appoint a committee?" stammered Mister Weasel, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Anaconda had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Anaconda excitedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," commented Mister Weasel noisily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Anaconda admiringly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," contended Mister Weasel proudly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the computer on his front porch, looking out over the cornfield and pondering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Anaconda. Do come again."

"Just a minute," yammered Mister Anaconda warily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Weasel thought he had answered, and was beginning to get disagreeable. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Anaconda doing these days?"

Mister Anaconda would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Weasel sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied lazily.