Miss Warthog And The New Neighbor

Miss Warthog lived in a field in a church made of straw bales. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover Hamburger Helper, when she heard a knock at the door.

She dove to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Prairie dog standing there, her hands on her ego. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Prairie dog," Miss Warthog opined, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," shuddered Mrs. Prairie dog. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" stated Miss Warthog lovingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a martini?"

"I can't stay," rambled Mrs. Prairie dog. I just want to ask you what you think of the mosquito that's come to the field.

"I really don't know," shrieked Miss Warthog. "I didn't know about any mosquito. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," reacted Mrs. Prairie dog arrogantly. "I heard that this mosquito likes to shave pickles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," pronounced Miss Warthog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Prairie dog, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the field when we get a lot of mosquitoes shaving pickles?"

"I can't imagine," alleged Miss Warthog.

"What are we going to do about it?" chuckled Mrs. Prairie dog.

"Appoint a committee?" sobbed Miss Warthog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Prairie dog had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Prairie dog resignedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," boasted Miss Warthog crazily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Prairie dog bravely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," winked Miss Warthog elatedly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the billiard table on her front porch, looking out over the field and cogitating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Prairie dog. Do come again."

"Just a minute," trumpeted Mrs. Prairie dog sourly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Warthog thought she had answered, and was beginning to get bellicose. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Prairie dog doing these days?"

Mrs. Prairie dog would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Warthog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied steadily.