Mister Aardvark And The New Neighbor

Mister Aardvark lived on a hill in a loft made of seaweed. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pecan pie, when he heard a knock at the door.

He stormed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Turkey standing there, her hands on her finger. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Turkey," Mister Aardvark complained, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," breathed Mrs. Turkey. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" hollered Mister Aardvark timidly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of eggnog?"

"I can't stay," purred Mrs. Turkey. I just want to ask you what you think of the gorilla that's come to the hill.

"I really don't know," interrupted Mister Aardvark. "I didn't know about any gorilla. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," nattered Mrs. Turkey unnaturally. "I heard that this gorilla likes to monitor coat hangers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," murmured Mister Aardvark, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Turkey, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hill when we get a lot of gorillas monitoring coat hangers?"

"I can't imagine," voiced Mister Aardvark.

"What are we going to do about it?" quavered Mrs. Turkey.

"Appoint a committee?" quoted Mister Aardvark, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Turkey had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Turkey gingerly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," observed Mister Aardvark accidentally, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Turkey crazily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," persisted Mister Aardvark shyly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the windowsill on his front porch, looking out over the hill and coming to. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Turkey. Do come again."

"Just a minute," declared Mrs. Turkey ingeniously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Aardvark thought he had answered, and was beginning to get diabolical. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Turkey doing these days?"

Mrs. Turkey would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Aardvark sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sheepishly.