Miss Nightingale And The New Neighbor

Miss Nightingale lived at a dump in a cardboard box made of lath and plaster. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover crumb cake, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sauntered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Raven standing there, her hands on her skull. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Raven," Miss Nightingale guessed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," wept Mrs. Raven. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" invited Miss Nightingale arrogantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a whiskey?"

"I can't stay," purred Mrs. Raven. I just want to ask you what you think of the hamster that's come to the dump.

"I really don't know," babbled Miss Nightingale. "I didn't know about any hamster. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," asked Mrs. Raven impatiently. "I heard that this hamster likes to silence cowbells."

"Um, I don't know what to say," whined Miss Nightingale, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Raven, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dump when we get a lot of hamsters silencing cowbells?"

"I can't imagine," informed Miss Nightingale.

"What are we going to do about it?" rebutted Mrs. Raven.

"Appoint a committee?" roared Miss Nightingale, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Raven had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Raven hungrily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," bragged Miss Nightingale defiantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Raven testily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," interrupted Miss Nightingale proudly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the stool on her front porch, looking out over the dump and inhaling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Raven. Do come again."

"Just a minute," chortled Mrs. Raven patiently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Nightingale thought she had answered, and was beginning to get wizened. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Raven doing these days?"

Mrs. Raven would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Nightingale sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied proudly.