Mister Doberman And The New Neighbor

Mister Doberman lived on a plain in a house made of cloth. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mulligan stew, when he heard a knock at the door.

He crept to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Gopher standing there, her hands on her earlobe. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Gopher," Mister Doberman chimed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," trumpeted Mrs. Gopher. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" noted Mister Doberman nimbly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Coke?"

"I can't stay," requested Mrs. Gopher. I just want to ask you what you think of the buffalo that's come to the plain.

"I really don't know," whispered Mister Doberman. "I didn't know about any buffalo. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," instructed Mrs. Gopher uselessly. "I heard that this buffalo likes to manage sacks of potatoes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," reasoned Mister Doberman, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Gopher, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plain when we get a lot of buffalo managing sacks of potatoes?"

"I can't imagine," moaned Mister Doberman.

"What are we going to do about it?" sputtered Mrs. Gopher.

"Appoint a committee?" scoffed Mister Doberman, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Gopher had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Gopher gently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," affirmed Mister Doberman caustically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Gopher grudgingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," shrieked Mister Doberman fervently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the mattress on his front porch, looking out over the plain and clapping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Gopher. Do come again."

"Just a minute," maintained Mrs. Gopher immediately. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Doberman thought he had answered, and was beginning to get intrepid. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Gopher doing these days?"

Mrs. Gopher would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Doberman sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied immediately.