Mister Iguana And The New Neighbor

Mister Iguana lived on a mountainside in a mansion made of palm leaves. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover biscuits and gravy, when he heard a knock at the door.

He darted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Quail standing there, her hands on her throat. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Quail," Mister Iguana analyzed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," mumbled Mrs. Quail. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" shouted Mister Iguana blankly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Alka-Seltzer?"

"I can't stay," howled Mrs. Quail. I just want to ask you what you think of the otter that's come to the mountainside.

"I really don't know," jeered Mister Iguana. "I didn't know about any otter. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," wondered Mrs. Quail sorrowfully. "I heard that this otter likes to swat packs of gum."

"Um, I don't know what to say," spoke up Mister Iguana, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Quail, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountainside when we get a lot of otters swatting packs of gum?"

"I can't imagine," sighed Mister Iguana.

"What are we going to do about it?" pointed out Mrs. Quail.

"Appoint a committee?" implored Mister Iguana, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Quail had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Quail charmingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," taunted Mister Iguana confidently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Quail merrily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," begged Mister Iguana quickly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the floor on his front porch, looking out over the mountainside and winking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Quail. Do come again."

"Just a minute," emphasized Mrs. Quail happily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Iguana thought he had answered, and was beginning to get merry. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Quail doing these days?"

Mrs. Quail would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Iguana sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied zestily.