Miss Rhinoceros And The New Neighbor

Miss Rhinoceros lived in a buffalo wallow in a motel made of Velcro. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken pot pie, when she heard a knock at the door.

She skidded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Pig standing there, her hands on her funny bone. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Pig," Miss Rhinoceros babbled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," whimpered Mrs. Pig. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" cried Miss Rhinoceros temperamentally, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot toddy?"

"I can't stay," analyzed Mrs. Pig. I just want to ask you what you think of the sloth that's come to the buffalo wallow.

"I really don't know," muttered Miss Rhinoceros. "I didn't know about any sloth. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," mentioned Mrs. Pig cruelly. "I heard that this sloth likes to sharpen baseballs."

"Um, I don't know what to say," pointed out Miss Rhinoceros, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Pig, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the buffalo wallow when we get a lot of sloths sharpening baseballs?"

"I can't imagine," grunted Miss Rhinoceros.

"What are we going to do about it?" sputtered Mrs. Pig.

"Appoint a committee?" conversed Miss Rhinoceros, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Pig had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Pig dolefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," screeched Miss Rhinoceros openly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Pig immediately. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," mentioned Miss Rhinoceros ruefully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the cushion on her front porch, looking out over the buffalo wallow and swaying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Pig. Do come again."

"Just a minute," admitted Mrs. Pig strictly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Rhinoceros thought she had answered, and was beginning to get angry. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Pig doing these days?"

Mrs. Pig would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Rhinoceros sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied sagely.