Miss Crab And The New Neighbor

Miss Crab lived on a range in a hut made of sheet metal. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover sauerkraut, when she heard a knock at the door.

She galloped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Duck standing there, her hands on her stomach. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Duck," Miss Crab hissed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," grieved Mrs. Duck. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" asserted Miss Crab gratefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a 7-Up?"

"I can't stay," groveled Mrs. Duck. I just want to ask you what you think of the cow that's come to the range.

"I really don't know," blubbered Miss Crab. "I didn't know about any cow. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," piped up Mrs. Duck proudly. "I heard that this cow likes to demolish stuffed kittens."

"Um, I don't know what to say," groveled Miss Crab, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Duck, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the range when we get a lot of cows demolishing stuffed kittens?"

"I can't imagine," cried Miss Crab.

"What are we going to do about it?" expressed Mrs. Duck.

"Appoint a committee?" questioned Miss Crab, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Duck had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Duck joyously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," declaimed Miss Crab angrily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Duck greedily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," growled Miss Crab patiently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the futon on her front porch, looking out over the range and sniffling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Duck. Do come again."

"Just a minute," croaked Mrs. Duck ignobly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Crab thought she had answered, and was beginning to get silly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Duck doing these days?"

Mrs. Duck would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Crab sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied gently.