Mister Ant And The New Neighbor

Mister Ant lived in a park in a nunnery made of ivory. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover crumb cake, when he heard a knock at the door.

He blundered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Rhinoceros standing there, her hands on her collarbone. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Rhinoceros," Mister Ant crooned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," babbled Mrs. Rhinoceros. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" quoted Mister Ant cautiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Long Island iced tea?"

"I can't stay," simpered Mrs. Rhinoceros. I just want to ask you what you think of the ass that's come to the park.

"I really don't know," intoned Mister Ant. "I didn't know about any ass. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," contended Mrs. Rhinoceros sorrowfully. "I heard that this ass likes to watch roses."

"Um, I don't know what to say," shouted Mister Ant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Rhinoceros, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the park when we get a lot of asses watching roses?"

"I can't imagine," comforted Mister Ant.

"What are we going to do about it?" offered Mrs. Rhinoceros.

"Appoint a committee?" analyzed Mister Ant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Rhinoceros had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Rhinoceros lamely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," indicated Mister Ant unexpectedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Rhinoceros fearlessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," simpered Mister Ant firmly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the ironing board on his front porch, looking out over the park and falling asleep. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Rhinoceros. Do come again."

"Just a minute," avowed Mrs. Rhinoceros thoughtfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ant thought he had answered, and was beginning to get big. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Rhinoceros doing these days?"

Mrs. Rhinoceros would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied speedily.