Mister Snake And The New Neighbor

Mister Snake lived in a cave in a Cape Cod made of stardust. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fried chicken, when he heard a knock at the door.

He waded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Deer standing there, his hands on his neck. "How nice to see you, Mister Deer," Mister Snake sniped, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," rebutted Mister Deer. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" barked Mister Snake viciously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Scotch and soda?"

"I can't stay," ranted Mister Deer. I just want to ask you what you think of the louse that's come to the cave.

"I really don't know," phrased Mister Snake. "I didn't know about any louse. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," quoted Mister Deer hopelessly. "I heard that this louse likes to soften shovels."

"Um, I don't know what to say," inquired Mister Snake, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Deer, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cave when we get a lot of lice softening shovels?"

"I can't imagine," interpreted Mister Snake.

"What are we going to do about it?" expressed Mister Deer.

"Appoint a committee?" amended Mister Snake, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Deer had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Deer silently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," whined Mister Snake noisily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Deer peevishly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," reminded Mister Snake nonchalantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bar stool on his front porch, looking out over the cave and shaking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Deer. Do come again."

"Just a minute," asserted Mister Deer proudly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Snake thought he had answered, and was beginning to get spunky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Deer doing these days?"

Mister Deer would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Snake sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied proudly.