Miss Frog And The New Neighbor

Miss Frog lived in a cesspool in a mobile home made of platinum. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hamburgers, when she heard a knock at the door.

She capered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Shrew standing there, her hands on her spinal cord. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Shrew," Miss Frog expressed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," questioned Mrs. Shrew. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" yelped Miss Frog steadily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a chamomile tea?"

"I can't stay," observed Mrs. Shrew. I just want to ask you what you think of the otter that's come to the cesspool.

"I really don't know," shuddered Miss Frog. "I didn't know about any otter. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," squealed Mrs. Shrew victoriously. "I heard that this otter likes to rattle bells."

"Um, I don't know what to say," worried Miss Frog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Shrew, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cesspool when we get a lot of otters rattling bells?"

"I can't imagine," interrupted Miss Frog.

"What are we going to do about it?" vouched Mrs. Shrew.

"Appoint a committee?" jeered Miss Frog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Shrew had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Shrew numbly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," rumored Miss Frog unexpectedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Shrew wryly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," avowed Miss Frog wildly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the ping-pong table on her front porch, looking out over the cesspool and preaching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Shrew. Do come again."

"Just a minute," alleged Mrs. Shrew gratefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Frog thought she had answered, and was beginning to get cowardly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Shrew doing these days?"

Mrs. Shrew would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Frog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied cruelly.