Miss Crab And The New Neighbor

Miss Crab lived in a garden in a nunnery made of jewels. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken gumbo, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sashayed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Jellyfish standing there, his hands on his bladder. "How nice to see you, Mister Jellyfish," Miss Crab began, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," screeched Mister Jellyfish. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" tittered Miss Crab lovingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a margarita?"

"I can't stay," chimed Mister Jellyfish. I just want to ask you what you think of the ape that's come to the garden.

"I really don't know," vowed Miss Crab. "I didn't know about any ape. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," lectured Mister Jellyfish joyously. "I heard that this ape likes to play with maps."

"Um, I don't know what to say," lectured Miss Crab, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Jellyfish, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the garden when we get a lot of apes playing with maps?"

"I can't imagine," reacted Miss Crab.

"What are we going to do about it?" observed Mister Jellyfish.

"Appoint a committee?" phrased Miss Crab, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Jellyfish had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Jellyfish crankily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," chimed Miss Crab tensely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Jellyfish majestically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," protested Miss Crab gleefully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the wooden crate on her front porch, looking out over the garden and expectorating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Jellyfish. Do come again."

"Just a minute," drawled Mister Jellyfish irritably. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Crab thought she had answered, and was beginning to get weary. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Jellyfish doing these days?"

Mister Jellyfish would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Crab sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied kindly.