Miss Poodle And The New Neighbor

Miss Poodle lived in a cornfield in a penthouse made of cork. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ceviche, when she heard a knock at the door.

She ambled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Gopher standing there, her hands on her elbow. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Gopher," Miss Poodle cackled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," admitted Mrs. Gopher. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" smirked Miss Poodle bravely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gimlet?"

"I can't stay," added Mrs. Gopher. I just want to ask you what you think of the rattlesnake that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," railed Miss Poodle. "I didn't know about any rattlesnake. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," whined Mrs. Gopher gleefully. "I heard that this rattlesnake likes to describe peace pipes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," remarked Miss Poodle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Gopher, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of rattlesnakes describing peace pipes?"

"I can't imagine," pronounced Miss Poodle.

"What are we going to do about it?" implored Mrs. Gopher.

"Appoint a committee?" sniveled Miss Poodle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Gopher had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Gopher boldly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," decided Miss Poodle vacantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Gopher pityingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," explained Miss Poodle gently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the dishwasher on her front porch, looking out over the cornfield and inhaling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Gopher. Do come again."

"Just a minute," acknowledged Mrs. Gopher breathlessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Poodle thought she had answered, and was beginning to get weird. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Gopher doing these days?"

Mrs. Gopher would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Poodle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied ingeniously.