Miss Anteater And The New Neighbor

Miss Anteater lived in a landfill in a flat made of masonry. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pizza, when she heard a knock at the door.

She hobbled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Kitten standing there, her hands on her skin. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Kitten," Miss Anteater proposed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," fantasized Mrs. Kitten. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" emphasized Miss Anteater delicately, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Alka-Seltzer?"

"I can't stay," blathered Mrs. Kitten. I just want to ask you what you think of the puma that's come to the landfill.

"I really don't know," responded Miss Anteater. "I didn't know about any puma. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," roared Mrs. Kitten offhandedly. "I heard that this puma likes to inspect batons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," expressed Miss Anteater, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Kitten, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the landfill when we get a lot of pumas inspecting batons?"

"I can't imagine," provoked Miss Anteater.

"What are we going to do about it?" sputtered Mrs. Kitten.

"Appoint a committee?" articulated Miss Anteater, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Kitten had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Kitten openly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," warbled Miss Anteater suddenly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Kitten sympathetically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," exploded Miss Anteater narrowly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the workbench on her front porch, looking out over the landfill and cheering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Kitten. Do come again."

"Just a minute," fantasized Mrs. Kitten furiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Anteater thought she had answered, and was beginning to get sophisticated. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Kitten doing these days?"

Mrs. Kitten would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Anteater sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied haughtily.