Miss Monster And The New Neighbor

Miss Monster lived in a country meadow in a housing project made of cow pies. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover macaroni and cheese, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sailed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Hog standing there, his hands on his spleen. "How nice to see you, Mister Hog," Miss Monster pointed out, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," orated Mister Hog. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" warbled Miss Monster firmly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of hot chocolate?"

"I can't stay," blustered Mister Hog. I just want to ask you what you think of the dormouse that's come to the country meadow.

"I really don't know," stuttered Miss Monster. "I didn't know about any dormouse. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," answered Mister Hog cheerfully. "I heard that this dormouse likes to honor Lego sets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," moaned Miss Monster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Hog, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the country meadow when we get a lot of dormice honoring Lego sets?"

"I can't imagine," realized Miss Monster.

"What are we going to do about it?" murmured Mister Hog.

"Appoint a committee?" snorted Miss Monster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Hog had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Hog gingerly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," avowed Miss Monster grandly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Hog properly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," stammered Miss Monster softly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the piano on her front porch, looking out over the country meadow and typing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Hog. Do come again."

"Just a minute," spouted Mister Hog unexpectedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Monster thought she had answered, and was beginning to get self-assured. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Hog doing these days?"

Mister Hog would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Monster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied fiercely.