Mister Dachshund And The New Neighbor

Mister Dachshund lived in a lagoon in a wigwam made of silk. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fondue, when he heard a knock at the door.

He padded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Ant standing there, her hands on her wig. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Ant," Mister Dachshund declared, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yammered Mrs. Ant. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" pronounced Mister Dachshund excitedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Manhattan?"

"I can't stay," harangued Mrs. Ant. I just want to ask you what you think of the manatee that's come to the lagoon.

"I really don't know," recited Mister Dachshund. "I didn't know about any manatee. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," declared Mrs. Ant crazily. "I heard that this manatee likes to freeze charts."

"Um, I don't know what to say," enunciated Mister Dachshund, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Ant, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lagoon when we get a lot of manatees freezing charts?"

"I can't imagine," belched Mister Dachshund.

"What are we going to do about it?" pointed out Mrs. Ant.

"Appoint a committee?" blathered Mister Dachshund, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Ant had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Ant blindly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spoke up Mister Dachshund slyly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Ant intensely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," accused Mister Dachshund wearily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cupboard on his front porch, looking out over the lagoon and trembling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Ant. Do come again."

"Just a minute," gabbed Mrs. Ant delicately. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Dachshund thought he had answered, and was beginning to get tense. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Ant doing these days?"

Mrs. Ant would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Dachshund sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied doubtfully.