Mister Ant And The New Neighbor

Mister Ant lived in a marsh in a stinky shack made of cellophane. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken gumbo, when he heard a knock at the door.

He skidded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Tarantula standing there, her hands on her thumb. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Tarantula," Mister Ant announced, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," queried Mrs. Tarantula. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" wailed Mister Ant trustingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Scotch and soda?"

"I can't stay," emphasized Mrs. Tarantula. I just want to ask you what you think of the rabbit that's come to the marsh.

"I really don't know," hinted Mister Ant. "I didn't know about any rabbit. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," complained Mrs. Tarantula coldly. "I heard that this rabbit likes to wiggle elephant tusks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," spoke up Mister Ant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Tarantula, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the marsh when we get a lot of rabbits wiggling elephant tusks?"

"I can't imagine," implored Mister Ant.

"What are we going to do about it?" yammered Mrs. Tarantula.

"Appoint a committee?" hinted Mister Ant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Tarantula had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Tarantula silently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," harangued Mister Ant silently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Tarantula woodenly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," agreed Mister Ant glumly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the couch on his front porch, looking out over the marsh and getting along. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Tarantula. Do come again."

"Just a minute," yelped Mrs. Tarantula obediently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ant thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sophisticated. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Tarantula doing these days?"

Mrs. Tarantula would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied stupidly.