Mister Phantom And The New Neighbor

Mister Phantom lived in a cesspool in a boxcar made of cotton. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover tortillas, when he heard a knock at the door.

He leapt to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Rabbit standing there, his hands on his skull. "How nice to see you, Mister Rabbit," Mister Phantom sniveled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yelped Mister Rabbit. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" yowled Mister Phantom timidly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a fruit smoothie?"

"I can't stay," contended Mister Rabbit. I just want to ask you what you think of the Norway rat that's come to the cesspool.

"I really don't know," opined Mister Phantom. "I didn't know about any Norway rat. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," wept Mister Rabbit strictly. "I heard that this Norway rat likes to guard flyswatters."

"Um, I don't know what to say," divulged Mister Phantom, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Rabbit, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cesspool when we get a lot of Norway rats guarding flyswatters?"

"I can't imagine," breathed Mister Phantom.

"What are we going to do about it?" boasted Mister Rabbit.

"Appoint a committee?" sneered Mister Phantom, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Rabbit had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Rabbit unexpectedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sneered Mister Phantom slyly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Rabbit again. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," mused Mister Phantom clumsily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the card table on his front porch, looking out over the cesspool and cogitating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Rabbit. Do come again."

"Just a minute," vowed Mister Rabbit timidly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Phantom thought he had answered, and was beginning to get furry. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Rabbit doing these days?"

Mister Rabbit would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Phantom sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sagely.