Miss Ant And The New Neighbor

Miss Ant lived in a village in a convent made of plasma. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hamburgers, when she heard a knock at the door.

She stormed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Mare standing there, his hands on his liver. "How nice to see you, Mister Mare," Miss Ant murmured, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," provoked Mister Mare. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" began Miss Ant happily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot buttered rum?"

"I can't stay," realized Mister Mare. I just want to ask you what you think of the chicken that's come to the village.

"I really don't know," hissed Miss Ant. "I didn't know about any chicken. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," complained Mister Mare merrily. "I heard that this chicken likes to check ironing boards."

"Um, I don't know what to say," hummed Miss Ant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Mare, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the village when we get a lot of chickens checking ironing boards?"

"I can't imagine," conversed Miss Ant.

"What are we going to do about it?" yelled Mister Mare.

"Appoint a committee?" disputed Miss Ant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Mare had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Mare lovingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," snarled Miss Ant happily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Mare busily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," intoned Miss Ant surreptitiously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the canopy bed on her front porch, looking out over the village and dilly-dallying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Mare. Do come again."

"Just a minute," demanded Mister Mare charmingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Ant thought she had answered, and was beginning to get weary. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Mare doing these days?"

Mister Mare would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Ant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied dreamily.