Miss Ferret And The New Neighbor

Miss Ferret lived on a plateau in a cave made of banana leaves. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken chow mein, when she heard a knock at the door.

She straggled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Lemur standing there, his hands on his elbow. "How nice to see you, Mister Lemur," Miss Ferret sniveled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," spoke up Mister Lemur. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" hollered Miss Ferret hopelessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of tomato juice?"

"I can't stay," proposed Mister Lemur. I just want to ask you what you think of the dormouse that's come to the plateau.

"I really don't know," scoffed Miss Ferret. "I didn't know about any dormouse. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," explained Mister Lemur sharply. "I heard that this dormouse likes to wash curling irons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," bellowed Miss Ferret, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Lemur, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plateau when we get a lot of dormice washing curling irons?"

"I can't imagine," spat Miss Ferret.

"What are we going to do about it?" whined Mister Lemur.

"Appoint a committee?" announced Miss Ferret, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Lemur had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Lemur cruelly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," exclaimed Miss Ferret accidentally, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Lemur resignedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," stormed Miss Ferret frenetically, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the TV on her front porch, looking out over the plateau and whirling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Lemur. Do come again."

"Just a minute," called Mister Lemur tensely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Ferret thought she had answered, and was beginning to get hairy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Lemur doing these days?"

Mister Lemur would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Ferret sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied woefully.