Mister Ox And The New Neighbor

Mister Ox lived in a cave in a motel made of uranium. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover oyster on the half-shell, when he heard a knock at the door.

He ran to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Yeti standing there, her hands on her horn. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Yeti," Mister Ox appealed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," groaned Mrs. Yeti. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" croaked Mister Ox dubiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an iced tea?"

"I can't stay," moaned Mrs. Yeti. I just want to ask you what you think of the lark that's come to the cave.

"I really don't know," argued Mister Ox. "I didn't know about any lark. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," admitted Mrs. Yeti coldly. "I heard that this lark likes to decorate magazines."

"Um, I don't know what to say," mumbled Mister Ox, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Yeti, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cave when we get a lot of larks decorating magazines?"

"I can't imagine," grunted Mister Ox.

"What are we going to do about it?" lectured Mrs. Yeti.

"Appoint a committee?" sputtered Mister Ox, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Yeti had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Yeti warmly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," prattled Mister Ox suspiciously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Yeti lovingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," blathered Mister Ox sheepishly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the nightstand on his front porch, looking out over the cave and peeping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Yeti. Do come again."

"Just a minute," sniffed Mrs. Yeti mysteriously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ox thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sincere. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Yeti doing these days?"

Mrs. Yeti would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ox sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied suavely.