Miss Tapeworm And The New Neighbor

Miss Tapeworm lived on a prairie in a box made of old rags. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ravioli, when she heard a knock at the door.

She reeled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Elephant standing there, her hands on her fingernail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Elephant," Miss Tapeworm quavered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," chimed Mrs. Elephant. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" breathed Miss Tapeworm noisily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin sour?"

"I can't stay," protested Mrs. Elephant. I just want to ask you what you think of the llama that's come to the prairie.

"I really don't know," stammered Miss Tapeworm. "I didn't know about any llama. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," agreed Mrs. Elephant dolorously. "I heard that this llama likes to leave magazines."

"Um, I don't know what to say," proposed Miss Tapeworm, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Elephant, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the prairie when we get a lot of llamas leaving magazines?"

"I can't imagine," responded Miss Tapeworm.

"What are we going to do about it?" orated Mrs. Elephant.

"Appoint a committee?" squealed Miss Tapeworm, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Elephant had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Elephant sympathetically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," blubbered Miss Tapeworm gently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Elephant caustically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," smiled Miss Tapeworm patiently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the card table on her front porch, looking out over the prairie and wobbling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Elephant. Do come again."

"Just a minute," sniped Mrs. Elephant delicately. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Tapeworm thought she had answered, and was beginning to get phlegmatic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Elephant doing these days?"

Mrs. Elephant would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Tapeworm sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied gruffly.