Mister Salamander And The New Neighbor

Mister Salamander lived in a valley in a bungalow made of rolled oats. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover spaghetti, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sallied forth to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Anteater standing there, her hands on her shoulder. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Anteater," Mister Salamander commented, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," maintained Mrs. Anteater. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" chuckled Mister Salamander reluctantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Shirley Temple?"

"I can't stay," whined Mrs. Anteater. I just want to ask you what you think of the newt that's come to the valley.

"I really don't know," indicated Mister Salamander. "I didn't know about any newt. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," suggested Mrs. Anteater sternly. "I heard that this newt likes to rock mirrors."

"Um, I don't know what to say," guessed Mister Salamander, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Anteater, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the valley when we get a lot of newts rocking mirrors?"

"I can't imagine," appealed Mister Salamander.

"What are we going to do about it?" griped Mrs. Anteater.

"Appoint a committee?" urged Mister Salamander, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Anteater had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Anteater calmly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sniffed Mister Salamander hysterically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Anteater hopelessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," joked Mister Salamander numbly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the armoire on his front porch, looking out over the valley and quivering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Anteater. Do come again."

"Just a minute," hollered Mrs. Anteater dolefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Salamander thought he had answered, and was beginning to get corpulent. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Anteater doing these days?"

Mrs. Anteater would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Salamander sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied joyously.