Miss Bird And The New Neighbor

Miss Bird lived in a glen in a skyscraper made of cinder block. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken soup, when she heard a knock at the door.

She loped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Dragon standing there, her hands on her adrenal gland. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Dragon," Miss Bird reasoned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," wept Mrs. Dragon. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" cajoled Miss Bird bravely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Tom Collins?"

"I can't stay," pronounced Mrs. Dragon. I just want to ask you what you think of the lamb that's come to the glen.

"I really don't know," revealed Miss Bird. "I didn't know about any lamb. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," continued Mrs. Dragon threateningly. "I heard that this lamb likes to hammer Egyptian mummies."

"Um, I don't know what to say," giggled Miss Bird, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Dragon, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the glen when we get a lot of lambs hammering Egyptian mummies?"

"I can't imagine," harangued Miss Bird.

"What are we going to do about it?" harangued Mrs. Dragon.

"Appoint a committee?" worried Miss Bird, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Dragon had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Dragon properly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," yammered Miss Bird hopefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Dragon sharply. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," emphasized Miss Bird surreptitiously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the carpet on her front porch, looking out over the glen and standing by. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Dragon. Do come again."

"Just a minute," joked Mrs. Dragon oddly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Bird thought she had answered, and was beginning to get clever. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Dragon doing these days?"

Mrs. Dragon would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Bird sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied shakily.