Mister Dalmatian And The New Neighbor

Mister Dalmatian lived in an outback in a wikiup made of rolled oats. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pie a la mode, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Doberman standing there, her hands on her horn. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Doberman," Mister Dalmatian groveled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," appealed Mrs. Doberman. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" spewed Mister Dalmatian doubtfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Irish Coffee?"

"I can't stay," hollered Mrs. Doberman. I just want to ask you what you think of the bear that's come to the outback.

"I really don't know," demanded Mister Dalmatian. "I didn't know about any bear. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," spewed Mrs. Doberman noisily. "I heard that this bear likes to glue cowbells."

"Um, I don't know what to say," harangued Mister Dalmatian, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Doberman, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the outback when we get a lot of bears gluing cowbells?"

"I can't imagine," mentioned Mister Dalmatian.

"What are we going to do about it?" judged Mrs. Doberman.

"Appoint a committee?" bellowed Mister Dalmatian, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Doberman had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Doberman fondly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," yowled Mister Dalmatian cruelly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Doberman proudly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," chimed Mister Dalmatian deliberately, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the ironing board on his front porch, looking out over the outback and getting angry. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Doberman. Do come again."

"Just a minute," lectured Mrs. Doberman numbly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Dalmatian thought he had answered, and was beginning to get carefree. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Doberman doing these days?"

Mrs. Doberman would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Dalmatian sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied wildly.