Mister Lobster And The New Neighbor

Mister Lobster lived in a village in a junk car made of string. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover macaroni and cheese, when he heard a knock at the door.

He rolled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Horsie standing there, her hands on her antenna. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Horsie," Mister Lobster roared, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," begged Mrs. Horsie. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" breathed Mister Lobster testily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Dr. Pepper?"

"I can't stay," sobbed Mrs. Horsie. I just want to ask you what you think of the tropical fish that's come to the village.

"I really don't know," emphasized Mister Lobster. "I didn't know about any tropical fish. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," fumed Mrs. Horsie threateningly. "I heard that this tropical fish likes to prune bones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," squeaked Mister Lobster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Horsie, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the village when we get a lot of tropical fish pruning bones?"

"I can't imagine," thought Mister Lobster.

"What are we going to do about it?" crooned Mrs. Horsie.

"Appoint a committee?" rebutted Mister Lobster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Horsie had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Horsie nimbly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," panted Mister Lobster cunningly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Horsie admiringly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," emphasized Mister Lobster softly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the hamper on his front porch, looking out over the village and digesting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Horsie. Do come again."

"Just a minute," reasoned Mrs. Horsie stealthily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Lobster thought he had answered, and was beginning to get repulsive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Horsie doing these days?"

Mrs. Horsie would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Lobster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied hopelessly.