Mister Dalmatian And The New Neighbor

Mister Dalmatian lived on a grassy knoll in a geodesic dome made of cornstalks. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pot roast, when he heard a knock at the door.

He crawled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Aardvark standing there, her hands on her heart. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Aardvark," Mister Dalmatian screeched, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," implored Mrs. Aardvark. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" sneered Mister Dalmatian urgently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of lemonade?"

"I can't stay," realized Mrs. Aardvark. I just want to ask you what you think of the squirrel that's come to the grassy knoll.

"I really don't know," invited Mister Dalmatian. "I didn't know about any squirrel. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," contended Mrs. Aardvark lazily. "I heard that this squirrel likes to spin fishing poles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," repeated Mister Dalmatian, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Aardvark, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassy knoll when we get a lot of squirrels spinning fishing poles?"

"I can't imagine," avowed Mister Dalmatian.

"What are we going to do about it?" interpreted Mrs. Aardvark.

"Appoint a committee?" began Mister Dalmatian, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Aardvark had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Aardvark suavely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," affirmed Mister Dalmatian intensely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Aardvark deftly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," revealed Mister Dalmatian threateningly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the recliner on his front porch, looking out over the grassy knoll and looking dumb. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Aardvark. Do come again."

"Just a minute," mentioned Mrs. Aardvark neatly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Dalmatian thought he had answered, and was beginning to get bouncy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Aardvark doing these days?"

Mrs. Aardvark would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Dalmatian sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied again.