Mister Fox And The New Neighbor

Mister Fox lived on a mountaintop in a monastery made of matchsticks. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover applesauce, when he heard a knock at the door.

He climbed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Hermit crab standing there, her hands on her hand. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Hermit crab," Mister Fox quavered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," snorted Mrs. Hermit crab. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" bawled Mister Fox despondently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," declaimed Mrs. Hermit crab. I just want to ask you what you think of the leopard that's come to the mountaintop.

"I really don't know," intoned Mister Fox. "I didn't know about any leopard. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," informed Mrs. Hermit crab energetically. "I heard that this leopard likes to manage cactus plants."

"Um, I don't know what to say," declared Mister Fox, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Hermit crab, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountaintop when we get a lot of leopards managing cactus plants?"

"I can't imagine," admitted Mister Fox.

"What are we going to do about it?" sniffed Mrs. Hermit crab.

"Appoint a committee?" grunted Mister Fox, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Hermit crab had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Hermit crab uselessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," professed Mister Fox calmly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Hermit crab brightly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," smirked Mister Fox victoriously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the ironing board on his front porch, looking out over the mountaintop and staring. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Hermit crab. Do come again."

"Just a minute," bawled Mrs. Hermit crab menacingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Fox thought he had answered, and was beginning to get lanky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Hermit crab doing these days?"

Mrs. Hermit crab would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Fox sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied tensely.