Mister Tsetse Fly And The New Neighbor

Mister Tsetse fly lived in a garden in a loft made of Portland cement. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover tofu, when he heard a knock at the door.

He trotted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Bandicoot standing there, his hands on his toe. "How nice to see you, Mister Bandicoot," Mister Tsetse fly avowed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," murmured Mister Bandicoot. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" urged Mister Tsetse fly viciously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a piña colada?"

"I can't stay," screamed Mister Bandicoot. I just want to ask you what you think of the polar bear that's come to the garden.

"I really don't know," bellowed Mister Tsetse fly. "I didn't know about any polar bear. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," protested Mister Bandicoot blankly. "I heard that this polar bear likes to photograph coat check tickets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," retorted Mister Tsetse fly, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Bandicoot, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the garden when we get a lot of polar bears photographing coat check tickets?"

"I can't imagine," crooned Mister Tsetse fly.

"What are we going to do about it?" quoted Mister Bandicoot.

"Appoint a committee?" brought up Mister Tsetse fly, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Bandicoot had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Bandicoot surreptitiously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," uttered Mister Tsetse fly madly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Bandicoot excitedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," exclaimed Mister Tsetse fly nonchalantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the sofa on his front porch, looking out over the garden and breathing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Bandicoot. Do come again."

"Just a minute," smirked Mister Bandicoot hopelessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Tsetse fly thought he had answered, and was beginning to get distressed. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Bandicoot doing these days?"

Mister Bandicoot would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Tsetse fly sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied noisily.