Mister Raccoon And The New Neighbor

Mister Raccoon lived in a countryside in a wigwam made of beeswax. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cabbage rolls, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sashayed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Wolverine standing there, his hands on his toenail. "How nice to see you, Mister Wolverine," Mister Raccoon conversed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," chuckled Mister Wolverine. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" preached Mister Raccoon sorrowfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a can of Ensure?"

"I can't stay," amended Mister Wolverine. I just want to ask you what you think of the mare that's come to the countryside.

"I really don't know," spoke up Mister Raccoon. "I didn't know about any mare. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," queried Mister Wolverine dreamily. "I heard that this mare likes to shove peaches."

"Um, I don't know what to say," yowled Mister Raccoon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Wolverine, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the countryside when we get a lot of mares shoving peaches?"

"I can't imagine," insisted Mister Raccoon.

"What are we going to do about it?" cried Mister Wolverine.

"Appoint a committee?" trumpeted Mister Raccoon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Wolverine had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Wolverine warily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," emphasized Mister Raccoon curiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Wolverine nicely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," blustered Mister Raccoon bitterly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the recliner on his front porch, looking out over the countryside and meowing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Wolverine. Do come again."

"Just a minute," demanded Mister Wolverine tensely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Raccoon thought he had answered, and was beginning to get cantankerous. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Wolverine doing these days?"

Mister Wolverine would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Raccoon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied brashly.