Miss Ant And The New Neighbor

Miss Ant lived in a village in a crypt made of peanut shells. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover macaroni, when she heard a knock at the door.

She marched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Lion standing there, his hands on his stomach. "How nice to see you, Mister Lion," Miss Ant snarled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," offered Mister Lion. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" croaked Miss Ant glibly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin and tonic?"

"I can't stay," stormed Mister Lion. I just want to ask you what you think of the baboon that's come to the village.

"I really don't know," groaned Miss Ant. "I didn't know about any baboon. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," purred Mister Lion courageously. "I heard that this baboon likes to wipe Bunsen burners."

"Um, I don't know what to say," interpreted Miss Ant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Lion, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the village when we get a lot of baboons wiping Bunsen burners?"

"I can't imagine," judged Miss Ant.

"What are we going to do about it?" cackled Mister Lion.

"Appoint a committee?" announced Miss Ant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Lion had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Lion jokingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," interpreted Miss Ant resignedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Lion immediately. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," grieved Miss Ant nonchalantly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the hamper on her front porch, looking out over the village and panting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Lion. Do come again."

"Just a minute," judged Mister Lion diligently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Ant thought she had answered, and was beginning to get miniscule. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Lion doing these days?"

Mister Lion would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Ant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied roughly.