Miss Spider And The New Neighbor

Miss Spider lived beside a river in a trailer made of kelp. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover waffles, when she heard a knock at the door.

She galloped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Louse standing there, her hands on her toupee. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Louse," Miss Spider tittered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," announced Mrs. Louse. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" bellowed Miss Spider nimbly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a soda?"

"I can't stay," blurted Mrs. Louse. I just want to ask you what you think of the tiger that's come to the river.

"I really don't know," snarled Miss Spider. "I didn't know about any tiger. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sneered Mrs. Louse narrowly. "I heard that this tiger likes to comprehend ping-pong paddles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," screeched Miss Spider, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Louse, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the river when we get a lot of tigers comprehending ping-pong paddles?"

"I can't imagine," expressed Miss Spider.

"What are we going to do about it?" responded Mrs. Louse.

"Appoint a committee?" recited Miss Spider, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Louse had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Louse gingerly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," noted Miss Spider angrily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Louse recklessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," quavered Miss Spider lovingly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the four-poster bed on her front porch, looking out over the river and blowing up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Louse. Do come again."

"Just a minute," enunciated Mrs. Louse lazily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Spider thought she had answered, and was beginning to get impish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Louse doing these days?"

Mrs. Louse would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Spider sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied kindly.