Miss Badger And The New Neighbor

Miss Badger lived on a wasteland in a farmhouse made of chocolate. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken gumbo, when she heard a knock at the door.

She lumbered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Penguin standing there, his hands on his face. "How nice to see you, Mister Penguin," Miss Badger exclaimed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," whispered Mister Penguin. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" jeered Miss Badger viciously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an iced tea?"

"I can't stay," disputed Mister Penguin. I just want to ask you what you think of the honeybee that's come to the wasteland.

"I really don't know," judged Miss Badger. "I didn't know about any honeybee. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," questioned Mister Penguin majestically. "I heard that this honeybee likes to scrub dolls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," babbled Miss Badger, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Penguin, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the wasteland when we get a lot of honeybees scrubbing dolls?"

"I can't imagine," continued Miss Badger.

"What are we going to do about it?" brought up Mister Penguin.

"Appoint a committee?" interpreted Miss Badger, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Penguin had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Penguin proudly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," interpreted Miss Badger cruelly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Penguin diligently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," snarled Miss Badger angrily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the ping-pong table on her front porch, looking out over the wasteland and sneering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Penguin. Do come again."

"Just a minute," insisted Mister Penguin primly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Badger thought she had answered, and was beginning to get bouncy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Penguin doing these days?"

Mister Penguin would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Badger sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied slyly.