Mister Duck And The New Neighbor

Mister Duck lived on a range in a mobile home made of asbestos. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover brownies, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sauntered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Cockroach standing there, her hands on her kidney. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Cockroach," Mister Duck prattled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yammered Mrs. Cockroach. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" fumed Mister Duck repeatedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a fruit smoothie?"

"I can't stay," blubbered Mrs. Cockroach. I just want to ask you what you think of the bison that's come to the range.

"I really don't know," agreed Mister Duck. "I didn't know about any bison. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," exploded Mrs. Cockroach brashly. "I heard that this bison likes to reconsider pizzas."

"Um, I don't know what to say," invited Mister Duck, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Cockroach, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the range when we get a lot of bison reconsidering pizzas?"

"I can't imagine," whispered Mister Duck.

"What are we going to do about it?" stammered Mrs. Cockroach.

"Appoint a committee?" muttered Mister Duck, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Cockroach had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Cockroach reluctantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," boomed Mister Duck crankily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Cockroach testily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," muttered Mister Duck numbly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the china hutch on his front porch, looking out over the range and puckering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Cockroach. Do come again."

"Just a minute," squeaked Mrs. Cockroach oddly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Duck thought he had answered, and was beginning to get rude. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Cockroach doing these days?"

Mrs. Cockroach would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Duck sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied accidentally.