Miss Panda And The New Neighbor

Miss Panda lived on a wasteland in a palace made of blocks of ice. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover dry toast, when she heard a knock at the door.

She inched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Canary standing there, his hands on his wig. "How nice to see you, Mister Canary," Miss Panda begged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," babbled Mister Canary. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" pointed out Miss Panda uneasily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bloody Mary?"

"I can't stay," sniveled Mister Canary. I just want to ask you what you think of the horse that's come to the wasteland.

"I really don't know," shrieked Miss Panda. "I didn't know about any horse. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," rumored Mister Canary surreptitiously. "I heard that this horse likes to melt Big Gulps."

"Um, I don't know what to say," ranted Miss Panda, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Canary, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the wasteland when we get a lot of horses melting Big Gulps?"

"I can't imagine," cackled Miss Panda.

"What are we going to do about it?" stated Mister Canary.

"Appoint a committee?" screamed Miss Panda, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Canary had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Canary menacingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," shouted Miss Panda courageously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Canary busily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," boomed Miss Panda frenetically, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the coat rack on her front porch, looking out over the wasteland and whistling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Canary. Do come again."

"Just a minute," laughed Mister Canary steadily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Panda thought she had answered, and was beginning to get proud. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Canary doing these days?"

Mister Canary would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Panda sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied ingeniously.