Miss Orangutan And The New Neighbor

Miss Orangutan lived in a forest in a brownstone made of string. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pancakes, when she heard a knock at the door.

She marched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Meerkat standing there, her hands on her pinky. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Meerkat," Miss Orangutan cajoled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," groaned Mrs. Meerkat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" implored Miss Orangutan wryly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a whiskey?"

"I can't stay," articulated Mrs. Meerkat. I just want to ask you what you think of the skunk that's come to the forest.

"I really don't know," squeaked Miss Orangutan. "I didn't know about any skunk. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," maintained Mrs. Meerkat unnaturally. "I heard that this skunk likes to chop egg shells."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sputtered Miss Orangutan, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Meerkat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the forest when we get a lot of skunks chopping egg shells?"

"I can't imagine," babbled Miss Orangutan.

"What are we going to do about it?" murmured Mrs. Meerkat.

"Appoint a committee?" stammered Miss Orangutan, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Meerkat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Meerkat victoriously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," shrieked Miss Orangutan anxiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Meerkat daringly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," proposed Miss Orangutan unexpectedly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bath mat on her front porch, looking out over the forest and puffing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Meerkat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," reminded Mrs. Meerkat truculently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Orangutan thought she had answered, and was beginning to get repulsive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Meerkat doing these days?"

Mrs. Meerkat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Orangutan sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied viciously.