Mister Ferret And The New Neighbor

Mister Ferret lived alongside a stream in a sand castle made of canvas. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover burritos, when he heard a knock at the door.

He ran to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Wallaby standing there, her hands on her stomach. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Wallaby," Mister Ferret screeched, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," swore Mrs. Wallaby. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" instructed Mister Ferret softly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bloody Mary?"

"I can't stay," mouthed Mrs. Wallaby. I just want to ask you what you think of the prairie dog that's come to the stream.

"I really don't know," blustered Mister Ferret. "I didn't know about any prairie dog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," commented Mrs. Wallaby roughly. "I heard that this prairie dog likes to open ropes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," railed Mister Ferret, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Wallaby, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the stream when we get a lot of prairie dogs opening ropes?"

"I can't imagine," barked Mister Ferret.

"What are we going to do about it?" trumpeted Mrs. Wallaby.

"Appoint a committee?" scoffed Mister Ferret, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Wallaby had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Wallaby caustically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," whimpered Mister Ferret grimly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Wallaby viciously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," invited Mister Ferret miserably, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the workbench on his front porch, looking out over the stream and collapsing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Wallaby. Do come again."

"Just a minute," scoffed Mrs. Wallaby tenderly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ferret thought he had answered, and was beginning to get monstrous. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Wallaby doing these days?"

Mrs. Wallaby would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ferret sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied later.