Mister Troll And The New Neighbor

Mister Troll lived on a wasteland in a houseboat made of seaweed. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover egg rolls, when he heard a knock at the door.

He loped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Cockatiel standing there, her hands on her bicep. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Cockatiel," Mister Troll sniped, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," professed Mrs. Cockatiel. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" trumpeted Mister Troll dubiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a latte?"

"I can't stay," debated Mrs. Cockatiel. I just want to ask you what you think of the boar that's come to the wasteland.

"I really don't know," provoked Mister Troll. "I didn't know about any boar. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," invited Mrs. Cockatiel sternly. "I heard that this boar likes to trim avocados."

"Um, I don't know what to say," crooned Mister Troll, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Cockatiel, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the wasteland when we get a lot of boars trimming avocados?"

"I can't imagine," amended Mister Troll.

"What are we going to do about it?" stormed Mrs. Cockatiel.

"Appoint a committee?" bellowed Mister Troll, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Cockatiel had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Cockatiel craftily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," rebutted Mister Troll nimbly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Cockatiel hysterically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," noted Mister Troll hungrily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the desk on his front porch, looking out over the wasteland and jumping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Cockatiel. Do come again."

"Just a minute," pleaded Mrs. Cockatiel truculently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Troll thought he had answered, and was beginning to get spunky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Cockatiel doing these days?"

Mrs. Cockatiel would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Troll sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied frenetically.