Mister Bison And The New Neighbor

Mister Bison lived in a dumpster in a Victorian mansion made of sweat and toil. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover tortillas, when he heard a knock at the door.

He straggled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Sheep standing there, her hands on her dignity. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Sheep," Mister Bison emphasized, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," panted Mrs. Sheep. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" guessed Mister Bison crossly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Moscow mule?"

"I can't stay," asserted Mrs. Sheep. I just want to ask you what you think of the mink that's come to the dumpster.

"I really don't know," reasoned Mister Bison. "I didn't know about any mink. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," joked Mrs. Sheep gratefully. "I heard that this mink likes to overlook cigarette lighters."

"Um, I don't know what to say," demanded Mister Bison, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Sheep, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dumpster when we get a lot of minks overlooking cigarette lighters?"

"I can't imagine," proposed Mister Bison.

"What are we going to do about it?" retorted Mrs. Sheep.

"Appoint a committee?" cried Mister Bison, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Sheep had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Sheep ruefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," requested Mister Bison gratefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Sheep bitterly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," interrupted Mister Bison quickly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the floor on his front porch, looking out over the dumpster and falling asleep. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Sheep. Do come again."

"Just a minute," disputed Mrs. Sheep openly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Bison thought he had answered, and was beginning to get timid. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Sheep doing these days?"

Mrs. Sheep would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Bison sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied openly.