Miss Lobster And The New Neighbor

Miss Lobster lived on a moonscape in a brownstone made of vinyl. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken pot pie, when she heard a knock at the door.

She danced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Jaguar standing there, his hands on his eyebrow. "How nice to see you, Mister Jaguar," Miss Lobster yelped, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," snorted Mister Jaguar. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mused Miss Lobster blindly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of KoolAid?"

"I can't stay," raved Mister Jaguar. I just want to ask you what you think of the fox that's come to the moonscape.

"I really don't know," interrupted Miss Lobster. "I didn't know about any fox. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," maintained Mister Jaguar accidentally. "I heard that this fox likes to distort pens."

"Um, I don't know what to say," opined Miss Lobster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Jaguar, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the moonscape when we get a lot of foxes distorting pens?"

"I can't imagine," squealed Miss Lobster.

"What are we going to do about it?" smiled Mister Jaguar.

"Appoint a committee?" debated Miss Lobster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Jaguar had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Jaguar sourly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," warbled Miss Lobster frantically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Jaguar dubiously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yawned Miss Lobster boldly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the hamper on her front porch, looking out over the moonscape and spitting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Jaguar. Do come again."

"Just a minute," opined Mister Jaguar cunningly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Lobster thought she had answered, and was beginning to get tactful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Jaguar doing these days?"

Mister Jaguar would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Lobster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied effortlessly.