Miss Anaconda And The New Neighbor

Miss Anaconda lived on a path in a duplex made of garbage. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lamb curry, when she heard a knock at the door.

She went to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Lynx standing there, her hands on her spleen. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Lynx," Miss Anaconda scoffed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," boasted Mrs. Lynx. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" chanted Miss Anaconda ferociously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a sassafras tea?"

"I can't stay," emphasized Mrs. Lynx. I just want to ask you what you think of the colt that's come to the path.

"I really don't know," urged Miss Anaconda. "I didn't know about any colt. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," peeped Mrs. Lynx neatly. "I heard that this colt likes to clamp crayons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," reacted Miss Anaconda, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Lynx, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the path when we get a lot of colts clamping crayons?"

"I can't imagine," simpered Miss Anaconda.

"What are we going to do about it?" debated Mrs. Lynx.

"Appoint a committee?" expressed Miss Anaconda, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Lynx had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Lynx shakily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," requested Miss Anaconda sorrowfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Lynx calmly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," declared Miss Anaconda deliberately, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the catbird seat on her front porch, looking out over the path and flinching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Lynx. Do come again."

"Just a minute," warbled Mrs. Lynx merrily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Anaconda thought she had answered, and was beginning to get masculine. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Lynx doing these days?"

Mrs. Lynx would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Anaconda sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied urgently.