Mister Tapeworm And The New Neighbor

Mister Tapeworm lived on a mesa in a KOA Kampground made of kelp. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when he heard a knock at the door.

He lumbered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Wolf standing there, his hands on his finger. "How nice to see you, Mister Wolf," Mister Tapeworm chattered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yelled Mister Wolf. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" divulged Mister Tapeworm quietly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin and tonic?"

"I can't stay," yelped Mister Wolf. I just want to ask you what you think of the mink that's come to the mesa.

"I really don't know," exclaimed Mister Tapeworm. "I didn't know about any mink. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," griped Mister Wolf boldly. "I heard that this mink likes to scratch African violets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," groaned Mister Tapeworm, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Wolf, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mesa when we get a lot of minks scratching African violets?"

"I can't imagine," sighed Mister Tapeworm.

"What are we going to do about it?" drawled Mister Wolf.

"Appoint a committee?" piped up Mister Tapeworm, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Wolf had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Wolf awkwardly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," ranted Mister Tapeworm boisterously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Wolf furiously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," shuddered Mister Tapeworm slowly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the dishwasher on his front porch, looking out over the mesa and smiling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Wolf. Do come again."

"Just a minute," queried Mister Wolf victoriously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Tapeworm thought he had answered, and was beginning to get careful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Wolf doing these days?"

Mister Wolf would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Tapeworm sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied violently.