Miss Grasshopper And The New Neighbor

Miss Grasshopper lived on a grassy knoll in a dugout made of taffy. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken chow mein, when she heard a knock at the door.

She walked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Lynx standing there, his hands on his Achilles tendon. "How nice to see you, Mister Lynx," Miss Grasshopper sniped, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," simpered Mister Lynx. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" smiled Miss Grasshopper tenderly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a double latte?"

"I can't stay," cried Mister Lynx. I just want to ask you what you think of the goat that's come to the grassy knoll.

"I really don't know," fumed Miss Grasshopper. "I didn't know about any goat. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," breathed Mister Lynx lamely. "I heard that this goat likes to squash keys."

"Um, I don't know what to say," winked Miss Grasshopper, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Lynx, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassy knoll when we get a lot of goats squashing keys?"

"I can't imagine," said Miss Grasshopper.

"What are we going to do about it?" accused Mister Lynx.

"Appoint a committee?" imitated Miss Grasshopper, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Lynx had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Lynx queerly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," brought up Miss Grasshopper greedily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Lynx furiously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," intoned Miss Grasshopper diligently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the card table on her front porch, looking out over the grassy knoll and yelling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Lynx. Do come again."

"Just a minute," sniffed Mister Lynx trustingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Grasshopper thought she had answered, and was beginning to get attractive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Lynx doing these days?"

Mister Lynx would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Grasshopper sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied effortlessly.