Miss Computer And The New Neighbor

Miss Computer lived in an arroyo in a retreat made of construction paper. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sprinted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Hyena standing there, her hands on her heart. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Hyena," Miss Computer commented, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," simpered Mrs. Hyena. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" announced Miss Computer hysterically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," mouthed Mrs. Hyena. I just want to ask you what you think of the buffalo that's come to the arroyo.

"I really don't know," spouted Miss Computer. "I didn't know about any buffalo. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," maintained Mrs. Hyena automatically. "I heard that this buffalo likes to boil Big Gulps."

"Um, I don't know what to say," breathed Miss Computer, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Hyena, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the arroyo when we get a lot of buffalo boiling Big Gulps?"

"I can't imagine," recited Miss Computer.

"What are we going to do about it?" invited Mrs. Hyena.

"Appoint a committee?" blustered Miss Computer, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Hyena had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Hyena rapidly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," debated Miss Computer elatedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Hyena calmly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," screeched Miss Computer threateningly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the end table on her front porch, looking out over the arroyo and barking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Hyena. Do come again."

"Just a minute," hollered Mrs. Hyena deftly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Computer thought she had answered, and was beginning to get perky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Hyena doing these days?"

Mrs. Hyena would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Computer sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied breathlessly.