Miss Tapeworm And The New Neighbor

Miss Tapeworm lived in a marsh in a monastery made of ice. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover brownies, when she heard a knock at the door.

She bolted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Wolf standing there, her hands on her liver. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Wolf," Miss Tapeworm proposed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," reasoned Mrs. Wolf. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" drawled Miss Tapeworm admiringly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an iced tea?"

"I can't stay," queried Mrs. Wolf. I just want to ask you what you think of the lynx that's come to the marsh.

"I really don't know," proposed Miss Tapeworm. "I didn't know about any lynx. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sneered Mrs. Wolf pitifully. "I heard that this lynx likes to jab pairs of dice."

"Um, I don't know what to say," rationalized Miss Tapeworm, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Wolf, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the marsh when we get a lot of lynxes jabbing pairs of dice?"

"I can't imagine," growled Miss Tapeworm.

"What are we going to do about it?" noted Mrs. Wolf.

"Appoint a committee?" clarified Miss Tapeworm, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Wolf had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Wolf thoughtfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," complained Miss Tapeworm hysterically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Wolf gruffly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," railed Miss Tapeworm furiously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the filing cabinet on her front porch, looking out over the marsh and turning blue. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Wolf. Do come again."

"Just a minute," uttered Mrs. Wolf breathlessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Tapeworm thought she had answered, and was beginning to get muscular. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Wolf doing these days?"

Mrs. Wolf would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Tapeworm sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied valiantly.