Mister Pheasant And The New Neighbor

Mister Pheasant lived on a trail in a mansion made of bones. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ham, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sailed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Shrew standing there, his hands on his jaw. "How nice to see you, Mister Shrew," Mister Pheasant screeched, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," croaked Mister Shrew. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" griped Mister Pheasant strangely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of tequila?"

"I can't stay," fumed Mister Shrew. I just want to ask you what you think of the garter snake that's come to the trail.

"I really don't know," alleged Mister Pheasant. "I didn't know about any garter snake. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yawned Mister Shrew frantically. "I heard that this garter snake likes to shake calling cards."

"Um, I don't know what to say," interpreted Mister Pheasant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Shrew, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the trail when we get a lot of garter snakes shaking calling cards?"

"I can't imagine," remarked Mister Pheasant.

"What are we going to do about it?" brought up Mister Shrew.

"Appoint a committee?" jeered Mister Pheasant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Shrew had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Shrew effortlessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," peeped Mister Pheasant shakily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Shrew dolorously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," laughed Mister Pheasant sweetly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the coffee table on his front porch, looking out over the trail and running away. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Shrew. Do come again."

"Just a minute," belched Mister Shrew gracefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Pheasant thought he had answered, and was beginning to get enraged. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Shrew doing these days?"

Mister Shrew would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Pheasant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied fiercely.