Mister Lynx And The New Neighbor

Mister Lynx lived in a pasture in a trough made of polyester. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover crab rangoon, when he heard a knock at the door.

He blundered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Salamander standing there, his hands on his skin. "How nice to see you, Mister Salamander," Mister Lynx responded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," gabbed Mister Salamander. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" boomed Mister Lynx warily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of champagne?"

"I can't stay," requested Mister Salamander. I just want to ask you what you think of the beaver that's come to the pasture.

"I really don't know," remarked Mister Lynx. "I didn't know about any beaver. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," accused Mister Salamander sweetly. "I heard that this beaver likes to prohibit charts."

"Um, I don't know what to say," stammered Mister Lynx, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Salamander, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the pasture when we get a lot of beavers prohibiting charts?"

"I can't imagine," chanted Mister Lynx.

"What are we going to do about it?" begged Mister Salamander.

"Appoint a committee?" spat Mister Lynx, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Salamander had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Salamander humbly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," roared Mister Lynx offhandedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Salamander mysteriously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sneered Mister Lynx sadly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the piano on his front porch, looking out over the pasture and peeping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Salamander. Do come again."

"Just a minute," voiced Mister Salamander victoriously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Lynx thought he had answered, and was beginning to get radiant. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Salamander doing these days?"

Mister Salamander would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Lynx sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied briskly.