Mister Badger And The New Neighbor

Mister Badger lived at a lakeside in a Spanish colonial made of nuts and bolts. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hors d'oeuvre, when he heard a knock at the door.

He bounded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Finch standing there, his hands on his hoof. "How nice to see you, Mister Finch," Mister Badger bellowed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," instructed Mister Finch. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mouthed Mister Badger blindly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of espresso?"

"I can't stay," quavered Mister Finch. I just want to ask you what you think of the Norway rat that's come to the lakeside.

"I really don't know," chortled Mister Badger. "I didn't know about any Norway rat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," decided Mister Finch menacingly. "I heard that this Norway rat likes to pull whistles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," added Mister Badger, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Finch, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lakeside when we get a lot of Norway rats pulling whistles?"

"I can't imagine," said Mister Badger.

"What are we going to do about it?" wept Mister Finch.

"Appoint a committee?" asserted Mister Badger, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Finch had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Finch ruefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," provoked Mister Badger numbly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Finch ingeniously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," cried Mister Badger softly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the coffee table on his front porch, looking out over the lakeside and itching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Finch. Do come again."

"Just a minute," prattled Mister Finch daintily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Badger thought he had answered, and was beginning to get stylish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Finch doing these days?"

Mister Finch would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Badger sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied urgently.