Miss Orangutan And The New Neighbor

Miss Orangutan lived in a buffalo wallow in a tent made of cardboard. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pizza, when she heard a knock at the door.

She slunk to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Tarantula standing there, his hands on his carotid artery. "How nice to see you, Mister Tarantula," Miss Orangutan chanted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," uttered Mister Tarantula. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" implored Miss Orangutan noisily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a whiskey?"

"I can't stay," interrupted Mister Tarantula. I just want to ask you what you think of the fawn that's come to the buffalo wallow.

"I really don't know," wailed Miss Orangutan. "I didn't know about any fawn. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," queried Mister Tarantula openly. "I heard that this fawn likes to pull lemons."

"Um, I don't know what to say," croaked Miss Orangutan, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Tarantula, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the buffalo wallow when we get a lot of fawns pulling lemons?"

"I can't imagine," queried Miss Orangutan.

"What are we going to do about it?" thought Mister Tarantula.

"Appoint a committee?" comforted Miss Orangutan, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Tarantula had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Tarantula courageously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," argued Miss Orangutan gruffly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Tarantula deliberately. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," grunted Miss Orangutan glibly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the catbird seat on her front porch, looking out over the buffalo wallow and glowering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Tarantula. Do come again."

"Just a minute," analyzed Mister Tarantula admiringly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Orangutan thought she had answered, and was beginning to get portly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Tarantula doing these days?"

Mister Tarantula would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Orangutan sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied wearily.