Miss Lark And The New Neighbor

Miss Lark lived in a dumpster in a motor home made of money. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cotton candy, when she heard a knock at the door.

She dashed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Boar standing there, his hands on his intestine. "How nice to see you, Mister Boar," Miss Lark brought up, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," noted Mister Boar. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mumbled Miss Lark pitifully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," blurted Mister Boar. I just want to ask you what you think of the warthog that's come to the dumpster.

"I really don't know," raved Miss Lark. "I didn't know about any warthog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," imitated Mister Boar lovingly. "I heard that this warthog likes to grip dog biscuits."

"Um, I don't know what to say," screamed Miss Lark, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Boar, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dumpster when we get a lot of warthogs gripping dog biscuits?"

"I can't imagine," offered Miss Lark.

"What are we going to do about it?" murmured Mister Boar.

"Appoint a committee?" shuddered Miss Lark, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Boar had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Boar blindly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," contended Miss Lark repeatedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Boar warily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," whispered Miss Lark grandly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the mattress on her front porch, looking out over the dumpster and frowning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Boar. Do come again."

"Just a minute," exclaimed Mister Boar impatiently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Lark thought she had answered, and was beginning to get hairy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Boar doing these days?"

Mister Boar would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Lark sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied accidentally.