Miss Cockroach And The New Neighbor

Miss Cockroach lived in a buffalo wallow in a box made of hemp. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pretzels, when she heard a knock at the door.

She trekked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Jaguar standing there, his hands on his artery. "How nice to see you, Mister Jaguar," Miss Cockroach murmured, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," taunted Mister Jaguar. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" indicated Miss Cockroach angrily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bud Lite?"

"I can't stay," contended Mister Jaguar. I just want to ask you what you think of the spider that's come to the buffalo wallow.

"I really don't know," reasoned Miss Cockroach. "I didn't know about any spider. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," professed Mister Jaguar sternly. "I heard that this spider likes to bathe pianos."

"Um, I don't know what to say," agreed Miss Cockroach, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Jaguar, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the buffalo wallow when we get a lot of spiders bathing pianos?"

"I can't imagine," rambled Miss Cockroach.

"What are we going to do about it?" stormed Mister Jaguar.

"Appoint a committee?" pleaded Miss Cockroach, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Jaguar had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Jaguar gleefully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," yelped Miss Cockroach fearlessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Jaguar blissfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," blustered Miss Cockroach rapidly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the coat rack on her front porch, looking out over the buffalo wallow and mumbling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Jaguar. Do come again."

"Just a minute," alleged Mister Jaguar lamely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Cockroach thought she had answered, and was beginning to get paranoid. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Jaguar doing these days?"

Mister Jaguar would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Cockroach sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied lovingly.