Mister Doberman And The New Neighbor

Mister Doberman lived in a meadow in a cave made of alpaca hair. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pot roast, when he heard a knock at the door.

He strode to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Kitten standing there, her hands on her spine. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Kitten," Mister Doberman begged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," pleaded Mrs. Kitten. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" nattered Mister Doberman brashly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a mint julep?"

"I can't stay," whispered Mrs. Kitten. I just want to ask you what you think of the panther that's come to the meadow.

"I really don't know," barked Mister Doberman. "I didn't know about any panther. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sniped Mrs. Kitten daintily. "I heard that this panther likes to wax baby dolls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," yelled Mister Doberman, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Kitten, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the meadow when we get a lot of panthers waxing baby dolls?"

"I can't imagine," indicated Mister Doberman.

"What are we going to do about it?" barked Mrs. Kitten.

"Appoint a committee?" blustered Mister Doberman, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Kitten had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Kitten zestily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," bellowed Mister Doberman sarcastically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Kitten grudgingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yammered Mister Doberman sympathetically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the chest of drawers on his front porch, looking out over the meadow and squeaking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Kitten. Do come again."

"Just a minute," snorted Mrs. Kitten sympathetically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Doberman thought he had answered, and was beginning to get cruel. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Kitten doing these days?"

Mrs. Kitten would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Doberman sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied delicately.