Miss Macaque And The New Neighbor

Miss Macaque lived on a trail in a housing project made of string. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast beef, when she heard a knock at the door.

She swaggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Turtle standing there, her hands on her little finger. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Turtle," Miss Macaque asserted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sighed Mrs. Turtle. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" scoffed Miss Macaque immediately, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a rum and Coke?"

"I can't stay," taunted Mrs. Turtle. I just want to ask you what you think of the coyote that's come to the trail.

"I really don't know," intoned Miss Macaque. "I didn't know about any coyote. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," pronounced Mrs. Turtle impatiently. "I heard that this coyote likes to compress statues."

"Um, I don't know what to say," boasted Miss Macaque, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Turtle, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the trail when we get a lot of coyotes compressing statues?"

"I can't imagine," pronounced Miss Macaque.

"What are we going to do about it?" boomed Mrs. Turtle.

"Appoint a committee?" mumbled Miss Macaque, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Turtle had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Turtle crazily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," blurted Miss Macaque neatly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Turtle slyly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," proposed Miss Macaque woodenly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the end table on her front porch, looking out over the trail and grumbling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Turtle. Do come again."

"Just a minute," wailed Mrs. Turtle gruffly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Macaque thought she had answered, and was beginning to get proud. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Turtle doing these days?"

Mrs. Turtle would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Macaque sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied sympathetically.