Miss Anteater And The New Neighbor

Miss Anteater lived on a range in a travel trailer made of wattle and daub. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mushroom quiche, when she heard a knock at the door.

She danced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Ostrich standing there, her hands on her toupee. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Ostrich," Miss Anteater howled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," chanted Mrs. Ostrich. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" chortled Miss Anteater hungrily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," voiced Mrs. Ostrich. I just want to ask you what you think of the sasquatch that's come to the range.

"I really don't know," articulated Miss Anteater. "I didn't know about any sasquatch. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," squawked Mrs. Ostrich strangely. "I heard that this sasquatch likes to weigh basketballs."

"Um, I don't know what to say," asserted Miss Anteater, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Ostrich, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the range when we get a lot of sasquatches weighing basketballs?"

"I can't imagine," comforted Miss Anteater.

"What are we going to do about it?" admitted Mrs. Ostrich.

"Appoint a committee?" spoke up Miss Anteater, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Ostrich had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Ostrich slyly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," articulated Miss Anteater hopefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Ostrich charmingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," raved Miss Anteater bitterly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the casket on her front porch, looking out over the range and shrugging. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Ostrich. Do come again."

"Just a minute," rebutted Mrs. Ostrich doubtfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Anteater thought she had answered, and was beginning to get amiable. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Ostrich doing these days?"

Mrs. Ostrich would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Anteater sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied awkwardly.