Mister Duck-billed Platypus And The New Neighbor

Mister Duck-billed platypus lived on an island in a junk car made of cornstalks. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover moo goo gai pan, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sneaked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Snake standing there, her hands on her thyroid gland. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Snake," Mister Duck-billed platypus declared, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," purred Mrs. Snake. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" demanded Mister Duck-billed platypus menacingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of lemonade?"

"I can't stay," spat Mrs. Snake. I just want to ask you what you think of the eel that's come to the island.

"I really don't know," wept Mister Duck-billed platypus. "I didn't know about any eel. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," harangued Mrs. Snake crankily. "I heard that this eel likes to prepare clothespins."

"Um, I don't know what to say," opined Mister Duck-billed platypus, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Snake, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the island when we get a lot of eels preparing clothespins?"

"I can't imagine," spat Mister Duck-billed platypus.

"What are we going to do about it?" analyzed Mrs. Snake.

"Appoint a committee?" prattled Mister Duck-billed platypus, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Snake had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Snake crossly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sputtered Mister Duck-billed platypus ingeniously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Snake craftily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," protested Mister Duck-billed platypus awkwardly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cushion on his front porch, looking out over the island and hanging around. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Snake. Do come again."

"Just a minute," spoke up Mrs. Snake boldly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Duck-billed platypus thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sensible. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Snake doing these days?"

Mrs. Snake would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Duck-billed platypus sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied smoothly.