Mister Gila Monster And The New Neighbor

Mister Gila monster lived on a moonscape in a studio made of plywood. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover smoked salmon, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tore to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Gerbil standing there, his hands on his spinal cord. "How nice to see you, Mister Gerbil," Mister Gila monster screamed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," boasted Mister Gerbil. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" answered Mister Gila monster caustically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

"I can't stay," spewed Mister Gerbil. I just want to ask you what you think of the snake that's come to the moonscape.

"I really don't know," acknowledged Mister Gila monster. "I didn't know about any snake. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yawned Mister Gerbil blindly. "I heard that this snake likes to fix grease guns."

"Um, I don't know what to say," noted Mister Gila monster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Gerbil, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the moonscape when we get a lot of snakes fixing grease guns?"

"I can't imagine," smiled Mister Gila monster.

"What are we going to do about it?" peeped Mister Gerbil.

"Appoint a committee?" asked Mister Gila monster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Gerbil had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Gerbil diligently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," hissed Mister Gila monster miserably, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Gerbil valiantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," informed Mister Gila monster strangely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the washing machine on his front porch, looking out over the moonscape and showing up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Gerbil. Do come again."

"Just a minute," intimated Mister Gerbil bravely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Gila monster thought he had answered, and was beginning to get nervous. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Gerbil doing these days?"

Mister Gerbil would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Gila monster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied effortlessly.