Mister Skunk And The New Neighbor

Mister Skunk lived in a gully in a church made of bark. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover burritos, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slumped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Newt standing there, her hands on her wrist. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Newt," Mister Skunk preached, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," spouted Mrs. Newt. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" cajoled Mister Skunk properly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin sour?"

"I can't stay," whimpered Mrs. Newt. I just want to ask you what you think of the dachshund that's come to the gully.

"I really don't know," cajoled Mister Skunk. "I didn't know about any dachshund. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sighed Mrs. Newt brightly. "I heard that this dachshund likes to drag shoes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," tittered Mister Skunk, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Newt, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the gully when we get a lot of dachshunds dragging shoes?"

"I can't imagine," realized Mister Skunk.

"What are we going to do about it?" began Mrs. Newt.

"Appoint a committee?" maintained Mister Skunk, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Newt had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Newt silently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sneered Mister Skunk calmly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Newt again. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," orated Mister Skunk carelessly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the fainting couch on his front porch, looking out over the gully and begging. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Newt. Do come again."

"Just a minute," guessed Mrs. Newt blindly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Skunk thought he had answered, and was beginning to get diabolical. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Newt doing these days?"

Mrs. Newt would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Skunk sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied fondly.