Miss Pig And The New Neighbor

Miss Pig lived in a circus tent in a houseboat made of bronze. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover sweet potatoes, when she heard a knock at the door.

She paraded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Doggie standing there, his hands on his midriff. "How nice to see you, Mister Doggie," Miss Pig taunted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," boasted Mister Doggie. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" raved Miss Pig clumsily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Long Island iced tea?"

"I can't stay," stormed Mister Doggie. I just want to ask you what you think of the camel that's come to the circus tent.

"I really don't know," fumed Miss Pig. "I didn't know about any camel. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," smirked Mister Doggie briskly. "I heard that this camel likes to scrape corkscrews."

"Um, I don't know what to say," imitated Miss Pig, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Doggie, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the circus tent when we get a lot of camels scraping corkscrews?"

"I can't imagine," ranted Miss Pig.

"What are we going to do about it?" ranted Mister Doggie.

"Appoint a committee?" proposed Miss Pig, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Doggie had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Doggie temperamentally. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," yelped Miss Pig oddly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Doggie viciously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," tittered Miss Pig suavely, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the dishwasher on her front porch, looking out over the circus tent and jiggling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Doggie. Do come again."

"Just a minute," invited Mister Doggie nervously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Pig thought she had answered, and was beginning to get bald. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Doggie doing these days?"

Mister Doggie would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Pig sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied ruefully.