Mister Fox And The New Neighbor

Mister Fox lived in a cesspool in a yurt made of palm leaves. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover bread and butter, when he heard a knock at the door.

He leapt to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Kitty standing there, her hands on her liver. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Kitty," Mister Fox continued, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," screeched Mrs. Kitty. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" reminded Mister Fox coolly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a margarita?"

"I can't stay," sneered Mrs. Kitty. I just want to ask you what you think of the pig that's come to the cesspool.

"I really don't know," queried Mister Fox. "I didn't know about any pig. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," groveled Mrs. Kitty craftily. "I heard that this pig likes to squash boxes of Kleenex."

"Um, I don't know what to say," snorted Mister Fox, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Kitty, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cesspool when we get a lot of pigs squashing boxes of Kleenex?"

"I can't imagine," vouched Mister Fox.

"What are we going to do about it?" contended Mrs. Kitty.

"Appoint a committee?" prattled Mister Fox, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Kitty had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Kitty sweetly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," intoned Mister Fox excitedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Kitty sleepily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," stammered Mister Fox vigorously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the desk on his front porch, looking out over the cesspool and getting upset. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Kitty. Do come again."

"Just a minute," fantasized Mrs. Kitty calmly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Fox thought he had answered, and was beginning to get statuesque. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Kitty doing these days?"

Mrs. Kitty would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Fox sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied effortlessly.