Miss Goldfish And The New Neighbor

Miss Goldfish lived in a cornfield in an apartment made of sawdust. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover wienerschnitzel, when she heard a knock at the door.

She hobbled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Reindeer standing there, her hands on her carotid artery. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Reindeer," Miss Goldfish piped up, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," squawked Mrs. Reindeer. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" smiled Miss Goldfish needlessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of papaya juice?"

"I can't stay," simpered Mrs. Reindeer. I just want to ask you what you think of the fox that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," sniveled Miss Goldfish. "I didn't know about any fox. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," lamented Mrs. Reindeer diligently. "I heard that this fox likes to inspect crates."

"Um, I don't know what to say," babbled Miss Goldfish, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Reindeer, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of foxes inspecting crates?"

"I can't imagine," drawled Miss Goldfish.

"What are we going to do about it?" hollered Mrs. Reindeer.

"Appoint a committee?" yelped Miss Goldfish, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Reindeer had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Reindeer bitterly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," realized Miss Goldfish blindly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Reindeer greedily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," chortled Miss Goldfish victoriously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the counter on her front porch, looking out over the cornfield and breathing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Reindeer. Do come again."

"Just a minute," exploded Mrs. Reindeer stealthily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Goldfish thought she had answered, and was beginning to get lanky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Reindeer doing these days?"

Mrs. Reindeer would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Goldfish sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied dreamily.