Miss Ostrich And The New Neighbor

Miss Ostrich lived in a dumpster in a bungalow made of marbles. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ceviche, when she heard a knock at the door.

She waddled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Chihuahua standing there, her hands on her Achilles tendon. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Chihuahua," Miss Ostrich brought up, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," recited Mrs. Chihuahua. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" begged Miss Ostrich properly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of buttermilk?"

"I can't stay," wept Mrs. Chihuahua. I just want to ask you what you think of the iguana that's come to the dumpster.

"I really don't know," squeaked Miss Ostrich. "I didn't know about any iguana. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," clarified Mrs. Chihuahua wearily. "I heard that this iguana likes to drag mirrors."

"Um, I don't know what to say," screeched Miss Ostrich, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Chihuahua, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dumpster when we get a lot of iguanas dragging mirrors?"

"I can't imagine," pleaded Miss Ostrich.

"What are we going to do about it?" implored Mrs. Chihuahua.

"Appoint a committee?" jeered Miss Ostrich, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Chihuahua had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Chihuahua warmly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," amended Miss Ostrich tenderly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Chihuahua ruefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," grieved Miss Ostrich innocently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the safe on her front porch, looking out over the dumpster and cheering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Chihuahua. Do come again."

"Just a minute," chortled Mrs. Chihuahua properly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Ostrich thought she had answered, and was beginning to get serious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Chihuahua doing these days?"

Mrs. Chihuahua would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Ostrich sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied temperamentally.