Miss Crab And The New Neighbor

Miss Crab lived on a grassy knoll in a motel made of ice. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken chow mein, when she heard a knock at the door.

She rushed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Bat standing there, her hands on her wig. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Bat," Miss Crab yawned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," amended Mrs. Bat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" snorted Miss Crab delicately, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an iced tea?"

"I can't stay," scoffed Mrs. Bat. I just want to ask you what you think of the gorilla that's come to the grassy knoll.

"I really don't know," divulged Miss Crab. "I didn't know about any gorilla. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," screeched Mrs. Bat oddly. "I heard that this gorilla likes to twist coffee pots."

"Um, I don't know what to say," pleaded Miss Crab, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Bat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassy knoll when we get a lot of gorillas twisting coffee pots?"

"I can't imagine," scoffed Miss Crab.

"What are we going to do about it?" warbled Mrs. Bat.

"Appoint a committee?" bawled Miss Crab, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Bat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Bat pitifully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," alleged Miss Crab lamely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Bat unnaturally. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yelped Miss Crab miserably, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the cash register on her front porch, looking out over the grassy knoll and stepping aside. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Bat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," squealed Mrs. Bat suavely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Crab thought she had answered, and was beginning to get solitary. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Bat doing these days?"

Mrs. Bat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Crab sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied gracefully.