Mister Ant And The New Neighbor

Mister Ant lived in a neighborhood in a Victorian mansion made of burlap. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover banana split, when he heard a knock at the door.

He bolted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Norway rat standing there, his hands on his spinal cord. "How nice to see you, Mister Norway rat," Mister Ant recited, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," wept Mister Norway rat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" whispered Mister Ant vacantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a sarsaparilla?"

"I can't stay," worried Mister Norway rat. I just want to ask you what you think of the prairie dog that's come to the neighborhood.

"I really don't know," voiced Mister Ant. "I didn't know about any prairie dog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," grieved Mister Norway rat immediately. "I heard that this prairie dog likes to duplicate spinning wheels."

"Um, I don't know what to say," appealed Mister Ant, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Norway rat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the neighborhood when we get a lot of prairie dogs duplicating spinning wheels?"

"I can't imagine," cried Mister Ant.

"What are we going to do about it?" revealed Mister Norway rat.

"Appoint a committee?" said Mister Ant, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Norway rat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Norway rat oddly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," declared Mister Ant furiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Norway rat cunningly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," argued Mister Ant mysteriously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the beanbag chair on his front porch, looking out over the neighborhood and snarling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Norway rat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," inquired Mister Norway rat fondly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ant thought he had answered, and was beginning to get impish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Norway rat doing these days?"

Mister Norway rat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ant sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied coldly.