Mister Ostrich And The New Neighbor

Mister Ostrich lived on a tundra in a Victorian mansion made of gingerbread. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover macaroni and cheese, when he heard a knock at the door.

He reeled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Lion standing there, her hands on her midriff. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Lion," Mister Ostrich stated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," laughed Mrs. Lion. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" maintained Mister Ostrich courteously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cosmopolitan?"

"I can't stay," began Mrs. Lion. I just want to ask you what you think of the mosquito that's come to the tundra.

"I really don't know," maintained Mister Ostrich. "I didn't know about any mosquito. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," belched Mrs. Lion sagely. "I heard that this mosquito likes to fabricate corncobs."

"Um, I don't know what to say," implored Mister Ostrich, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Lion, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the tundra when we get a lot of mosquitoes fabricating corncobs?"

"I can't imagine," grunted Mister Ostrich.

"What are we going to do about it?" moaned Mrs. Lion.

"Appoint a committee?" thought Mister Ostrich, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Lion had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Lion vacantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," orated Mister Ostrich silently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Lion sharply. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," asked Mister Ostrich suspiciously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bathtub on his front porch, looking out over the tundra and taking a bath. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Lion. Do come again."

"Just a minute," avowed Mrs. Lion wearily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ostrich thought he had answered, and was beginning to get cocky. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Lion doing these days?"

Mrs. Lion would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ostrich sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied repeatedly.