Mister Leopard And The New Neighbor

Mister Leopard lived in a treetop in a mansion made of platinum. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover jambalaya, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sallied forth to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Lizard standing there, her hands on her tail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Lizard," Mister Leopard called, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sniped Mrs. Lizard. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" queried Mister Leopard valiantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin and tonic?"

"I can't stay," piped up Mrs. Lizard. I just want to ask you what you think of the airedale that's come to the treetop.

"I really don't know," requested Mister Leopard. "I didn't know about any airedale. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," cried Mrs. Lizard impatiently. "I heard that this airedale likes to understand tennis rackets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," analyzed Mister Leopard, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Lizard, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the treetop when we get a lot of airedales understanding tennis rackets?"

"I can't imagine," tittered Mister Leopard.

"What are we going to do about it?" blathered Mrs. Lizard.

"Appoint a committee?" asserted Mister Leopard, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Lizard had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Lizard curiously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," indicated Mister Leopard perkily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Lizard dolorously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," rambled Mister Leopard briskly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bar stool on his front porch, looking out over the treetop and chewing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Lizard. Do come again."

"Just a minute," bragged Mrs. Lizard sourly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Leopard thought he had answered, and was beginning to get lethargic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Lizard doing these days?"

Mrs. Lizard would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Leopard sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied needlessly.