Mister Rhinoceros And The New Neighbor

Mister Rhinoceros lived on a grassy knoll in a sod house made of sand. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken gumbo, when he heard a knock at the door.

He flew to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Opossum standing there, her hands on her earlobe. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Opossum," Mister Rhinoceros wailed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," decided Mrs. Opossum. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" answered Mister Rhinoceros sharply, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cambric tea?"

"I can't stay," sighed Mrs. Opossum. I just want to ask you what you think of the rat that's come to the grassy knoll.

"I really don't know," preached Mister Rhinoceros. "I didn't know about any rat. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," peeped Mrs. Opossum gently. "I heard that this rat likes to soften Happy Meals."

"Um, I don't know what to say," reasoned Mister Rhinoceros, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Opossum, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the grassy knoll when we get a lot of rats softening Happy Meals?"

"I can't imagine," explained Mister Rhinoceros.

"What are we going to do about it?" thought Mrs. Opossum.

"Appoint a committee?" simpered Mister Rhinoceros, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Opossum had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Opossum fearlessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," asserted Mister Rhinoceros curiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Opossum grandly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," complained Mister Rhinoceros warmly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the recliner on his front porch, looking out over the grassy knoll and cringing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Opossum. Do come again."

"Just a minute," burbled Mrs. Opossum lightly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Rhinoceros thought he had answered, and was beginning to get petulant. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Opossum doing these days?"

Mrs. Opossum would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Rhinoceros sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied deliberately.