Mister Snake And The New Neighbor

Mister Snake lived in a landfill in a boxcar made of pine logs. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mashed potatoes, when he heard a knock at the door.

He darted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Camel standing there, his hands on his elbow. "How nice to see you, Mister Camel," Mister Snake roared, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," complained Mister Camel. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" giggled Mister Snake suavely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a piña colada?"

"I can't stay," cajoled Mister Camel. I just want to ask you what you think of the mare that's come to the landfill.

"I really don't know," drawled Mister Snake. "I didn't know about any mare. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," panted Mister Camel suddenly. "I heard that this mare likes to whirl remote controls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," spewed Mister Snake, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Camel, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the landfill when we get a lot of mares whirling remote controls?"

"I can't imagine," pronounced Mister Snake.

"What are we going to do about it?" squawked Mister Camel.

"Appoint a committee?" amended Mister Snake, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Camel had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Camel wryly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," judged Mister Snake greedily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Camel busily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," invited Mister Snake hysterically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the china hutch on his front porch, looking out over the landfill and wandering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Camel. Do come again."

"Just a minute," fantasized Mister Camel excitedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Snake thought he had answered, and was beginning to get dreadful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Camel doing these days?"

Mister Camel would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Snake sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied greedily.