Miss Airedale And The New Neighbor

Miss Airedale lived in a bog in a monastery made of old bottles. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover burritos, when she heard a knock at the door.

She waddled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Hermit crab standing there, her hands on her gall bladder. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Hermit crab," Miss Airedale offered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," moaned Mrs. Hermit crab. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" drawled Miss Airedale timidly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a painkiller?"

"I can't stay," grunted Mrs. Hermit crab. I just want to ask you what you think of the moose that's come to the bog.

"I really don't know," interrupted Miss Airedale. "I didn't know about any moose. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," explained Mrs. Hermit crab warmly. "I heard that this moose likes to prepare brooms."

"Um, I don't know what to say," retorted Miss Airedale, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Hermit crab, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the bog when we get a lot of moose preparing brooms?"

"I can't imagine," piped up Miss Airedale.

"What are we going to do about it?" clarified Mrs. Hermit crab.

"Appoint a committee?" spat Miss Airedale, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Hermit crab had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Hermit crab nonchalantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," concluded Miss Airedale later, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Hermit crab rapidly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," taunted Miss Airedale energetically, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the fainting couch on her front porch, looking out over the bog and getting sleepy. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Hermit crab. Do come again."

"Just a minute," lamented Mrs. Hermit crab sadly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Airedale thought she had answered, and was beginning to get tactful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Hermit crab doing these days?"

Mrs. Hermit crab would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Airedale sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied bravely.