Mister Unicorn And The New Neighbor

Mister Unicorn lived at a crime scene in a park bench made of wattle and daub. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover macaroni and cheese, when he heard a knock at the door.

He lumbered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Lobster standing there, his hands on his kneecap. "How nice to see you, Mister Lobster," Mister Unicorn boasted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," suggested Mister Lobster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" recited Mister Unicorn cunningly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot toddy?"

"I can't stay," groveled Mister Lobster. I just want to ask you what you think of the crocodile that's come to the crime scene.

"I really don't know," giggled Mister Unicorn. "I didn't know about any crocodile. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," swore Mister Lobster blissfully. "I heard that this crocodile likes to spin chamber pots."

"Um, I don't know what to say," bragged Mister Unicorn, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Lobster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the crime scene when we get a lot of crocodiles spinning chamber pots?"

"I can't imagine," sniveled Mister Unicorn.

"What are we going to do about it?" burbled Mister Lobster.

"Appoint a committee?" boasted Mister Unicorn, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Lobster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Lobster stupidly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," reminded Mister Unicorn bitterly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Lobster properly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," simpered Mister Unicorn uselessly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the buffet on his front porch, looking out over the crime scene and scratching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Lobster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," exploded Mister Lobster brashly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Unicorn thought he had answered, and was beginning to get wary. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Lobster doing these days?"

Mister Lobster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Unicorn sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied energetically.