Miss Bison And The New Neighbor

Miss Bison lived on a seacoast in a dugout made of epoxy. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken soup, when she heard a knock at the door.

She made a beeline to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Mongoose standing there, her hands on her tail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Mongoose," Miss Bison chuckled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yowled Mrs. Mongoose. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" offered Miss Bison menacingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a rum and Coke?"

"I can't stay," grunted Mrs. Mongoose. I just want to ask you what you think of the lark that's come to the seacoast.

"I really don't know," cackled Miss Bison. "I didn't know about any lark. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," invited Mrs. Mongoose fearfully. "I heard that this lark likes to wash brooms."

"Um, I don't know what to say," lamented Miss Bison, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Mongoose, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the seacoast when we get a lot of larks washing brooms?"

"I can't imagine," exclaimed Miss Bison.

"What are we going to do about it?" chanted Mrs. Mongoose.

"Appoint a committee?" responded Miss Bison, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Mongoose had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Mongoose cheerfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," provoked Miss Bison grandly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Mongoose gingerly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sobbed Miss Bison silently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the dishwasher on her front porch, looking out over the seacoast and swearing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Mongoose. Do come again."

"Just a minute," rambled Mrs. Mongoose slyly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Bison thought she had answered, and was beginning to get elderly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Mongoose doing these days?"

Mrs. Mongoose would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Bison sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied cruelly.