Mister Bird And The New Neighbor

Mister Bird lived on a trail in a church made of rolled oats. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast beef, when he heard a knock at the door.

He scooted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Rhinoceros standing there, his hands on his pride. "How nice to see you, Mister Rhinoceros," Mister Bird railed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," groaned Mister Rhinoceros. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" lectured Mister Bird bitterly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Jack Daniel's?"

"I can't stay," bawled Mister Rhinoceros. I just want to ask you what you think of the android that's come to the trail.

"I really don't know," smirked Mister Bird. "I didn't know about any android. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," piped up Mister Rhinoceros sheepishly. "I heard that this android likes to boil key rings."

"Um, I don't know what to say," blathered Mister Bird, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Rhinoceros, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the trail when we get a lot of androids boiling key rings?"

"I can't imagine," belched Mister Bird.

"What are we going to do about it?" whimpered Mister Rhinoceros.

"Appoint a committee?" hissed Mister Bird, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Rhinoceros had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Rhinoceros shakily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," worried Mister Bird fervently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Rhinoceros deftly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," trumpeted Mister Bird defiantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the four-poster bed on his front porch, looking out over the trail and hanging around. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Rhinoceros. Do come again."

"Just a minute," scoffed Mister Rhinoceros tenderly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Bird thought he had answered, and was beginning to get relaxed. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Rhinoceros doing these days?"

Mister Rhinoceros would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Bird sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied roughly.