Mister Rat And The New Neighbor

Mister Rat lived in a briar patch in a chateau made of cast iron. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover squash blossom soup, when he heard a knock at the door.

He padded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Mountain goat standing there, his hands on his waist. "How nice to see you, Mister Mountain goat," Mister Rat interrupted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," acknowledged Mister Mountain goat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" announced Mister Rat clumsily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mai Tai?"

"I can't stay," snorted Mister Mountain goat. I just want to ask you what you think of the basset hound that's come to the briar patch.

"I really don't know," whispered Mister Rat. "I didn't know about any basset hound. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," judged Mister Mountain goat jokingly. "I heard that this basset hound likes to abuse clams."

"Um, I don't know what to say," avowed Mister Rat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Mountain goat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the briar patch when we get a lot of basset hounds abusing clams?"

"I can't imagine," taunted Mister Rat.

"What are we going to do about it?" screamed Mister Mountain goat.

"Appoint a committee?" admitted Mister Rat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Mountain goat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Mountain goat sadly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," opined Mister Rat calmly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Mountain goat bravely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," grunted Mister Rat glumly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the safe on his front porch, looking out over the briar patch and grunting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Mountain goat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," expressed Mister Mountain goat urgently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Rat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get frantic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Mountain goat doing these days?"

Mister Mountain goat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Rat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied fervently.