Mister Hippopotamus And The New Neighbor

Mister Hippopotamus lived on a cliff in a Cape Cod made of flour paste. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover candy, when he heard a knock at the door.

He crept to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Garter snake standing there, her hands on her spleen. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Garter snake," Mister Hippopotamus yawned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," intoned Mrs. Garter snake. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" admitted Mister Hippopotamus caustically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a daiquiri?"

"I can't stay," fretted Mrs. Garter snake. I just want to ask you what you think of the German Shepherd that's come to the cliff.

"I really don't know," explained Mister Hippopotamus. "I didn't know about any German Shepherd. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sniffed Mrs. Garter snake resignedly. "I heard that this German Shepherd likes to exclude pairs of binoculars."

"Um, I don't know what to say," barked Mister Hippopotamus, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Garter snake, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cliff when we get a lot of German Shepherds excluding pairs of binoculars?"

"I can't imagine," argued Mister Hippopotamus.

"What are we going to do about it?" revealed Mrs. Garter snake.

"Appoint a committee?" tittered Mister Hippopotamus, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Garter snake had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Garter snake warily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," concluded Mister Hippopotamus lazily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Garter snake greedily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," proposed Mister Hippopotamus wryly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the dining table on his front porch, looking out over the cliff and looking puzzled. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Garter snake. Do come again."

"Just a minute," howled Mrs. Garter snake sagely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Hippopotamus thought he had answered, and was beginning to get intelligent. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Garter snake doing these days?"

Mrs. Garter snake would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Hippopotamus sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied carelessly.