Mister Goat And The New Neighbor

Mister Goat lived at a dump in a studio made of plaster of Paris. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chopped liver, when he heard a knock at the door.

He hopped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Monster standing there, her hands on her brain. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Monster," Mister Goat guessed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," winked Mrs. Monster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mouthed Mister Goat hungrily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a double latte?"

"I can't stay," preached Mrs. Monster. I just want to ask you what you think of the kitten that's come to the dump.

"I really don't know," suggested Mister Goat. "I didn't know about any kitten. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," murmured Mrs. Monster carefully. "I heard that this kitten likes to decontaminate dollar bills."

"Um, I don't know what to say," declaimed Mister Goat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Monster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dump when we get a lot of kittens decontaminating dollar bills?"

"I can't imagine," comforted Mister Goat.

"What are we going to do about it?" lectured Mrs. Monster.

"Appoint a committee?" alleged Mister Goat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Monster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Monster breathlessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," squealed Mister Goat energetically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Monster angrily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," began Mister Goat roughly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the china cabinet on his front porch, looking out over the dump and rocking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Monster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," barked Mrs. Monster neatly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Goat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get idiotic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Monster doing these days?"

Mrs. Monster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Goat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied resignedly.