Mister Penguin And The New Neighbor

Mister Penguin lived at a dump in a cardboard box made of carbon fiber. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover egg drop soup, when he heard a knock at the door.

He skittered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Computer standing there, her hands on her hairdo. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Computer," Mister Penguin complained, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," bawled Mrs. Computer. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" quoted Mister Penguin blindly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a can of Ensure?"

"I can't stay," requested Mrs. Computer. I just want to ask you what you think of the dodo bird that's come to the dump.

"I really don't know," opined Mister Penguin. "I didn't know about any dodo bird. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," clarified Mrs. Computer uselessly. "I heard that this dodo bird likes to drag stones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," demanded Mister Penguin, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Computer, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dump when we get a lot of dodo birds dragging stones?"

"I can't imagine," alleged Mister Penguin.

"What are we going to do about it?" accused Mrs. Computer.

"Appoint a committee?" panted Mister Penguin, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Computer had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Computer lamely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," expressed Mister Penguin stealthily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Computer fervently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," mouthed Mister Penguin unnaturally, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the toilet on his front porch, looking out over the dump and getting dizzy. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Computer. Do come again."

"Just a minute," offered Mrs. Computer properly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Penguin thought he had answered, and was beginning to get tall. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Computer doing these days?"

Mrs. Computer would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Penguin sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sheepishly.