Miss Goldfish And The New Neighbor

Miss Goldfish lived on a moonscape in a cottage made of nuts and bolts. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover oyster on the half-shell, when she heard a knock at the door.

She swaggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Hermit crab standing there, his hands on his brain. "How nice to see you, Mister Hermit crab," Miss Goldfish whimpered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," maintained Mister Hermit crab. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" belched Miss Goldfish fervently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a root beer?"

"I can't stay," hinted Mister Hermit crab. I just want to ask you what you think of the tsetse fly that's come to the moonscape.

"I really don't know," mumbled Miss Goldfish. "I didn't know about any tsetse fly. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," panted Mister Hermit crab later. "I heard that this tsetse fly likes to empty paintings."

"Um, I don't know what to say," warbled Miss Goldfish, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Hermit crab, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the moonscape when we get a lot of tsetse flies emptying paintings?"

"I can't imagine," quavered Miss Goldfish.

"What are we going to do about it?" asked Mister Hermit crab.

"Appoint a committee?" explained Miss Goldfish, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Hermit crab had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Hermit crab blissfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," declared Miss Goldfish glibly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Hermit crab excitedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," bawled Miss Goldfish blissfully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the display case on her front porch, looking out over the moonscape and awakening. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Hermit crab. Do come again."

"Just a minute," lectured Mister Hermit crab queerly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Goldfish thought she had answered, and was beginning to get polite. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Hermit crab doing these days?"

Mister Hermit crab would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Goldfish sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied sharply.