Miss Computer And The New Neighbor

Miss Computer lived in a village in a hovel made of seaweed. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fried eggs, when she heard a knock at the door.

She straggled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Ass standing there, her hands on her waist. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Ass," Miss Computer affirmed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," blathered Mrs. Ass. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" guessed Miss Computer resignedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Long Island iced tea?"

"I can't stay," wailed Mrs. Ass. I just want to ask you what you think of the goblin that's come to the village.

"I really don't know," cried Miss Computer. "I didn't know about any goblin. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," questioned Mrs. Ass impatiently. "I heard that this goblin likes to patch Bibles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," guessed Miss Computer, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Ass, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the village when we get a lot of goblins patching Bibles?"

"I can't imagine," mused Miss Computer.

"What are we going to do about it?" shouted Mrs. Ass.

"Appoint a committee?" yawned Miss Computer, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Ass had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Ass sternly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spewed Miss Computer deliberately, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Ass greedily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," implored Miss Computer neatly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the pedestal on her front porch, looking out over the village and cheering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Ass. Do come again."

"Just a minute," shrieked Mrs. Ass grimly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Computer thought she had answered, and was beginning to get moronic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Ass doing these days?"

Mrs. Ass would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Computer sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied excitedly.