Miss Swan And The New Neighbor

Miss Swan lived on a ridge in a chateau made of fiberglass. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover French fries, when she heard a knock at the door.

She struggled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Groundhog standing there, his hands on his nose. "How nice to see you, Mister Groundhog," Miss Swan began, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," declared Mister Groundhog. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" rambled Miss Swan blankly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of apricot juice?"

"I can't stay," offered Mister Groundhog. I just want to ask you what you think of the worm that's come to the ridge.

"I really don't know," noted Miss Swan. "I didn't know about any worm. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," shuddered Mister Groundhog effortlessly. "I heard that this worm likes to dust bags of potato chips."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sobbed Miss Swan, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Groundhog, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the ridge when we get a lot of worms dusting bags of potato chips?"

"I can't imagine," crooned Miss Swan.

"What are we going to do about it?" suggested Mister Groundhog.

"Appoint a committee?" breathed Miss Swan, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Groundhog had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Groundhog repeatedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," trumpeted Miss Swan demurely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Groundhog carelessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," avowed Miss Swan glumly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the water bed on her front porch, looking out over the ridge and slobbering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Groundhog. Do come again."

"Just a minute," chimed Mister Groundhog tensely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Swan thought she had answered, and was beginning to get high-strung. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Groundhog doing these days?"

Mister Groundhog would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Swan sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied breathlessly.