Miss Hedgehog And The New Neighbor

Miss Hedgehog lived on a mountainside in a stinky shack made of antimatter. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover tortillas, when she heard a knock at the door.

She strode to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Beetle standing there, her hands on her back. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Beetle," Miss Hedgehog amended, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," babbled Mrs. Beetle. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" noted Miss Hedgehog confidently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a root beer float?"

"I can't stay," accused Mrs. Beetle. I just want to ask you what you think of the ass that's come to the mountainside.

"I really don't know," insisted Miss Hedgehog. "I didn't know about any ass. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," preached Mrs. Beetle hopefully. "I heard that this ass likes to unbutton campaign signs."

"Um, I don't know what to say," groaned Miss Hedgehog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Beetle, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountainside when we get a lot of asses unbuttoning campaign signs?"

"I can't imagine," accused Miss Hedgehog.

"What are we going to do about it?" professed Mrs. Beetle.

"Appoint a committee?" cajoled Miss Hedgehog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Beetle had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Beetle elatedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," blustered Miss Hedgehog sarcastically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Beetle slyly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," guessed Miss Hedgehog calmly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the sofa on her front porch, looking out over the mountainside and sniffing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Beetle. Do come again."

"Just a minute," shouted Mrs. Beetle resignedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Hedgehog thought she had answered, and was beginning to get boring. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Beetle doing these days?"

Mrs. Beetle would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Hedgehog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied cunningly.