Miss Crocodile And The New Neighbor

Miss Crocodile lived on a battlefield in a tent made of rubble. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover smoked salmon, when she heard a knock at the door.

She clambered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Turtle standing there, his hands on his brain. "How nice to see you, Mister Turtle," Miss Crocodile instructed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sighed Mister Turtle. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" giggled Miss Crocodile strictly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of hot cider?"

"I can't stay," articulated Mister Turtle. I just want to ask you what you think of the hog that's come to the battlefield.

"I really don't know," peeped Miss Crocodile. "I didn't know about any hog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chortled Mister Turtle vacantly. "I heard that this hog likes to darken towels."

"Um, I don't know what to say," debated Miss Crocodile, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Turtle, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the battlefield when we get a lot of hogs darkening towels?"

"I can't imagine," panted Miss Crocodile.

"What are we going to do about it?" recited Mister Turtle.

"Appoint a committee?" called Miss Crocodile, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Turtle had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Turtle cruelly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," amended Miss Crocodile fondly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Turtle narrowly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," whimpered Miss Crocodile woefully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the dining table on her front porch, looking out over the battlefield and meditating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Turtle. Do come again."

"Just a minute," comforted Mister Turtle merrily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Crocodile thought she had answered, and was beginning to get muscular. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Turtle doing these days?"

Mister Turtle would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Crocodile sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied courageously.