Miss Elk And The New Neighbor

Miss Elk lived in a glen in a crypt made of plutonium. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover shrimp, when she heard a knock at the door.

She walked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Deer standing there, her hands on her skin. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Deer," Miss Elk sniffed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," rationalized Mrs. Deer. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" taunted Miss Elk charmingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of whiskey?"

"I can't stay," interrupted Mrs. Deer. I just want to ask you what you think of the whale that's come to the glen.

"I really don't know," rebutted Miss Elk. "I didn't know about any whale. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," complained Mrs. Deer uneasily. "I heard that this whale likes to lose cupcakes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," wailed Miss Elk, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Deer, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the glen when we get a lot of whales losing cupcakes?"

"I can't imagine," announced Miss Elk.

"What are we going to do about it?" rationalized Mrs. Deer.

"Appoint a committee?" breathed Miss Elk, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Deer had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Deer clumsily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," piped up Miss Elk oddly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Deer slowly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sputtered Miss Elk ingeniously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the coffee table on her front porch, looking out over the glen and trembling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Deer. Do come again."

"Just a minute," exploded Mrs. Deer oddly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Elk thought she had answered, and was beginning to get creepy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Deer doing these days?"

Mrs. Deer would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Elk sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied urgently.