Miss Duck And The New Neighbor

Miss Duck lived at a dump in a spa made of noodles. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover shrimp, when she heard a knock at the door.

She walked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Monster standing there, her hands on her ankle. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Monster," Miss Duck howled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," chanted Mrs. Monster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" amended Miss Duck despondently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Brandy Alexander?"

"I can't stay," spewed Mrs. Monster. I just want to ask you what you think of the ferret that's come to the dump.

"I really don't know," responded Miss Duck. "I didn't know about any ferret. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," conversed Mrs. Monster softly. "I heard that this ferret likes to strip staplers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," mumbled Miss Duck, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Monster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dump when we get a lot of ferrets stripping staplers?"

"I can't imagine," pronounced Miss Duck.

"What are we going to do about it?" repeated Mrs. Monster.

"Appoint a committee?" asked Miss Duck, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Monster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Monster wryly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," screeched Miss Duck slyly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Monster firmly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," said Miss Duck fiercely, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the pool table on her front porch, looking out over the dump and expectorating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Monster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," amended Mrs. Monster brashly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Duck thought she had answered, and was beginning to get sarcastic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Monster doing these days?"

Mrs. Monster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Duck sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied suspiciously.