Miss Gila Monster And The New Neighbor

Miss Gila monster lived in a forest in a closet made of old bones. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast turkey, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sneaked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Iguana standing there, his hands on his head. "How nice to see you, Mister Iguana," Miss Gila monster quoted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," declared Mister Iguana. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" provoked Miss Gila monster coldly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Moscow mule?"

"I can't stay," snarled Mister Iguana. I just want to ask you what you think of the falcon that's come to the forest.

"I really don't know," fumed Miss Gila monster. "I didn't know about any falcon. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," contended Mister Iguana humbly. "I heard that this falcon likes to pierce billiard balls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," yelped Miss Gila monster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Iguana, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the forest when we get a lot of falcons piercing billiard balls?"

"I can't imagine," cackled Miss Gila monster.

"What are we going to do about it?" exploded Mister Iguana.

"Appoint a committee?" alleged Miss Gila monster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Iguana had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Iguana lightly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," intimated Miss Gila monster diligently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Iguana valiantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," boasted Miss Gila monster perkily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the mattress on her front porch, looking out over the forest and yawning. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Iguana. Do come again."

"Just a minute," bawled Mister Iguana swiftly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Gila monster thought she had answered, and was beginning to get sociable. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Iguana doing these days?"

Mister Iguana would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Gila monster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied gruffly.