Mister Alligator And The New Neighbor

Mister Alligator lived on a path in a treehouse made of Tyvek. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover omelet, when he heard a knock at the door.

He careened to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Buzzard standing there, her hands on her piehole. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Buzzard," Mister Alligator amended, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," questioned Mrs. Buzzard. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" realized Mister Alligator positively, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Jack Daniel's?"

"I can't stay," provoked Mrs. Buzzard. I just want to ask you what you think of the boa constrictor that's come to the path.

"I really don't know," pleaded Mister Alligator. "I didn't know about any boa constrictor. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chattered Mrs. Buzzard defiantly. "I heard that this boa constrictor likes to overlook hammers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," vouched Mister Alligator, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Buzzard, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the path when we get a lot of boa constrictors overlooking hammers?"

"I can't imagine," spewed Mister Alligator.

"What are we going to do about it?" belched Mrs. Buzzard.

"Appoint a committee?" croaked Mister Alligator, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Buzzard had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Buzzard crazily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," smirked Mister Alligator fearlessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Buzzard rapidly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sputtered Mister Alligator hungrily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the computer on his front porch, looking out over the path and chanting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Buzzard. Do come again."

"Just a minute," groaned Mrs. Buzzard cautiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Alligator thought he had answered, and was beginning to get hysterical. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Buzzard doing these days?"

Mrs. Buzzard would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Alligator sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied proudly.