Mister Grasshopper And The New Neighbor

Mister Grasshopper lived in a landfill in a house made of precious gems. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cookies, when he heard a knock at the door.

He trotted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Wolf standing there, his hands on his shin. "How nice to see you, Mister Wolf," Mister Grasshopper screeched, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," expressed Mister Wolf. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" stuttered Mister Grasshopper positively, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of espresso?"

"I can't stay," expressed Mister Wolf. I just want to ask you what you think of the dinosaur that's come to the landfill.

"I really don't know," announced Mister Grasshopper. "I didn't know about any dinosaur. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," rambled Mister Wolf deftly. "I heard that this dinosaur likes to chop twigs."

"Um, I don't know what to say," thought Mister Grasshopper, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Wolf, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the landfill when we get a lot of dinosaurs chopping twigs?"

"I can't imagine," spoke up Mister Grasshopper.

"What are we going to do about it?" yelled Mister Wolf.

"Appoint a committee?" analyzed Mister Grasshopper, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Wolf had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Wolf lamely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," ranted Mister Grasshopper nicely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Wolf menacingly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," howled Mister Grasshopper ignobly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the pool table on his front porch, looking out over the landfill and meowing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Wolf. Do come again."

"Just a minute," amended Mister Wolf hungrily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Grasshopper thought he had answered, and was beginning to get maniacal. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Wolf doing these days?"

Mister Wolf would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Grasshopper sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied lazily.