Mister Chihuahua And The New Neighbor

Mister Chihuahua lived at a crime scene in a wikiup made of foil. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken chow mein, when he heard a knock at the door.

He straggled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Garter snake standing there, her hands on her knee. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Garter snake," Mister Chihuahua sniped, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," whispered Mrs. Garter snake. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" blurted Mister Chihuahua swiftly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Long Island iced tea?"

"I can't stay," hollered Mrs. Garter snake. I just want to ask you what you think of the cockatiel that's come to the crime scene.

"I really don't know," asked Mister Chihuahua. "I didn't know about any cockatiel. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," intoned Mrs. Garter snake victoriously. "I heard that this cockatiel likes to jump on urns."

"Um, I don't know what to say," mentioned Mister Chihuahua, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Garter snake, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the crime scene when we get a lot of cockatiels jumping on urns?"

"I can't imagine," continued Mister Chihuahua.

"What are we going to do about it?" imitated Mrs. Garter snake.

"Appoint a committee?" snorted Mister Chihuahua, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Garter snake had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Garter snake uneasily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," exclaimed Mister Chihuahua ferociously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Garter snake hopefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," stammered Mister Chihuahua merrily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the toilet on his front porch, looking out over the crime scene and gasping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Garter snake. Do come again."

"Just a minute," implored Mrs. Garter snake tearfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Chihuahua thought he had answered, and was beginning to get lethargic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Garter snake doing these days?"

Mrs. Garter snake would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Chihuahua sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied arrogantly.