Mister Badger And The New Neighbor

Mister Badger lived at a crime scene in a geodesic dome made of Saran Wrap. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover dry toast, when he heard a knock at the door.

He blundered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Goat standing there, his hands on his neck. "How nice to see you, Mister Goat," Mister Badger conversed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," wondered Mister Goat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" squawked Mister Badger innocently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a sassafras tea?"

"I can't stay," maintained Mister Goat. I just want to ask you what you think of the partridge that's come to the crime scene.

"I really don't know," spewed Mister Badger. "I didn't know about any partridge. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," said Mister Goat confidently. "I heard that this partridge likes to crack microscopes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sniveled Mister Badger, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Goat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the crime scene when we get a lot of partridges cracking microscopes?"

"I can't imagine," began Mister Badger.

"What are we going to do about it?" complained Mister Goat.

"Appoint a committee?" asserted Mister Badger, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Goat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Goat sympathetically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," hollered Mister Badger queerly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Goat numbly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," spouted Mister Badger tenderly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the chair on his front porch, looking out over the crime scene and apologizing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Goat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," suggested Mister Goat grudgingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Badger thought he had answered, and was beginning to get dependable. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Goat doing these days?"

Mister Goat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Badger sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied immediately.