Mister Sloth And The New Neighbor

Mister Sloth lived in a cornfield in a chalet made of graham crackers. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken gumbo, when he heard a knock at the door.

He crept to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Oyster standing there, her hands on her hair. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Oyster," Mister Sloth groaned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yelled Mrs. Oyster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" hissed Mister Sloth neatly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an iced tea?"

"I can't stay," tittered Mrs. Oyster. I just want to ask you what you think of the lark that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," jeered Mister Sloth. "I didn't know about any lark. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," hinted Mrs. Oyster firmly. "I heard that this lark likes to unfasten flowers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," rebutted Mister Sloth, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Oyster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of larks unfastening flowers?"

"I can't imagine," decided Mister Sloth.

"What are we going to do about it?" thought Mrs. Oyster.

"Appoint a committee?" judged Mister Sloth, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Oyster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Oyster sheepishly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," prattled Mister Sloth properly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Oyster slowly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," joked Mister Sloth automatically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the dishwasher on his front porch, looking out over the cornfield and stretching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Oyster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," commented Mrs. Oyster miserably. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Sloth thought he had answered, and was beginning to get fiendish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Oyster doing these days?"

Mrs. Oyster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Sloth sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied energetically.