Mister Panda And The New Neighbor

Mister Panda lived in a meadow in a cave made of spandex. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover fried eggs, when he heard a knock at the door.

He bounded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Computer standing there, her hands on her carotid artery. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Computer," Mister Panda yelped, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," scoffed Mrs. Computer. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" whimpered Mister Panda ruefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a V8?"

"I can't stay," chanted Mrs. Computer. I just want to ask you what you think of the meerkat that's come to the meadow.

"I really don't know," divulged Mister Panda. "I didn't know about any meerkat. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," accused Mrs. Computer kindly. "I heard that this meerkat likes to lick bedpans."

"Um, I don't know what to say," grunted Mister Panda, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Computer, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the meadow when we get a lot of meerkats licking bedpans?"

"I can't imagine," contended Mister Panda.

"What are we going to do about it?" acknowledged Mrs. Computer.

"Appoint a committee?" preached Mister Panda, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Computer had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Computer hastily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," urged Mister Panda lovingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Computer boldly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," harangued Mister Panda bravely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the crib on his front porch, looking out over the meadow and twitching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Computer. Do come again."

"Just a minute," chimed Mrs. Computer lightly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Panda thought he had answered, and was beginning to get prickly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Computer doing these days?"

Mrs. Computer would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Panda sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied fiercely.