Mister Mink And The New Neighbor

Mister Mink lived on a savanna in a crypt made of slate. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover scrambled eggs, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sauntered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Quail standing there, his hands on his heel. "How nice to see you, Mister Quail," Mister Mink comforted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sobbed Mister Quail. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" lectured Mister Mink boisterously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," intoned Mister Quail. I just want to ask you what you think of the garter snake that's come to the savanna.

"I really don't know," reminded Mister Mink. "I didn't know about any garter snake. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," articulated Mister Quail curiously. "I heard that this garter snake likes to rub bottles of painkillers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," pronounced Mister Mink, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Quail, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the savanna when we get a lot of garter snakes rubbing bottles of painkillers?"

"I can't imagine," sniffed Mister Mink.

"What are we going to do about it?" retorted Mister Quail.

"Appoint a committee?" smirked Mister Mink, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Quail had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Quail needlessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," revealed Mister Mink accidentally, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Quail steadily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," expressed Mister Mink innocently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bath mat on his front porch, looking out over the savanna and apologizing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Quail. Do come again."

"Just a minute," worried Mister Quail excitedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Mink thought he had answered, and was beginning to get spindly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Quail doing these days?"

Mister Quail would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Mink sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied silently.