Mister Jackal And The New Neighbor

Mister Jackal lived in a valley in a quonset hut made of titanium. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pie a la mode, when he heard a knock at the door.

He hopped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Chicken standing there, her hands on her tooth. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Chicken," Mister Jackal opined, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," affirmed Mrs. Chicken. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" growled Mister Jackal admiringly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of espresso?"

"I can't stay," observed Mrs. Chicken. I just want to ask you what you think of the ape that's come to the valley.

"I really don't know," wept Mister Jackal. "I didn't know about any ape. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," bawled Mrs. Chicken menacingly. "I heard that this ape likes to pick pieces of candy."

"Um, I don't know what to say," barked Mister Jackal, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Chicken, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the valley when we get a lot of apes picking pieces of candy?"

"I can't imagine," exclaimed Mister Jackal.

"What are we going to do about it?" mentioned Mrs. Chicken.

"Appoint a committee?" barked Mister Jackal, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Chicken had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Chicken sleepily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," gasped Mister Jackal grandly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Chicken firmly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," fantasized Mister Jackal miserably, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the hatstand on his front porch, looking out over the valley and yelling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Chicken. Do come again."

"Just a minute," peeped Mrs. Chicken sarcastically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Jackal thought he had answered, and was beginning to get shiftless. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Chicken doing these days?"

Mrs. Chicken would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Jackal sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied valiantly.