Miss Bird And The New Neighbor

Miss Bird lived in a garden in a convent made of diamonds. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chocolate-covered ants, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sailed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Buffalo standing there, her hands on her back. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Buffalo," Miss Bird raved, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," pronounced Mrs. Buffalo. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" vowed Miss Bird clumsily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a soda?"

"I can't stay," purred Mrs. Buffalo. I just want to ask you what you think of the puma that's come to the garden.

"I really don't know," whimpered Miss Bird. "I didn't know about any puma. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," said Mrs. Buffalo hastily. "I heard that this puma likes to shred coat check tickets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," intoned Miss Bird, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Buffalo, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the garden when we get a lot of pumas shredding coat check tickets?"

"I can't imagine," burbled Miss Bird.

"What are we going to do about it?" fantasized Mrs. Buffalo.

"Appoint a committee?" explained Miss Bird, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Buffalo had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Buffalo hungrily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," prattled Miss Bird tenderly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Buffalo vigorously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yowled Miss Bird fervently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the footstool on her front porch, looking out over the garden and standing by. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Buffalo. Do come again."

"Just a minute," spoke up Mrs. Buffalo calmly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Bird thought she had answered, and was beginning to get agitated. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Buffalo doing these days?"

Mrs. Buffalo would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Bird sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied ruefully.