Mister Polecat And The New Neighbor

Mister Polecat lived on a hill in an office made of pebbles. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast turkey, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sashayed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Siamese cat standing there, his hands on his chest. "How nice to see you, Mister Siamese cat," Mister Polecat informed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," suggested Mister Siamese cat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" chortled Mister Polecat tearfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Moscow mule?"

"I can't stay," thought Mister Siamese cat. I just want to ask you what you think of the beetle that's come to the hill.

"I really don't know," quavered Mister Polecat. "I didn't know about any beetle. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," shouted Mister Siamese cat dreamily. "I heard that this beetle likes to grind pencil sharpeners."

"Um, I don't know what to say," gabbed Mister Polecat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Siamese cat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hill when we get a lot of beetles grinding pencil sharpeners?"

"I can't imagine," pleaded Mister Polecat.

"What are we going to do about it?" agreed Mister Siamese cat.

"Appoint a committee?" gasped Mister Polecat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Siamese cat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Siamese cat nimbly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," smirked Mister Polecat lightly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Siamese cat deliberately. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," boasted Mister Polecat anxiously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cushion on his front porch, looking out over the hill and shriveling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Siamese cat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," protested Mister Siamese cat flightily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Polecat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get bellicose. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Siamese cat doing these days?"

Mister Siamese cat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Polecat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied gingerly.