Mister Hermit Crab And The New Neighbor

Mister Hermit crab lived on a veld in a loft made of wax. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover macaroni and cheese, when he heard a knock at the door.

He capered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Lovebird standing there, her hands on her wig. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Lovebird," Mister Hermit crab ranted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," disputed Mrs. Lovebird. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" conversed Mister Hermit crab primly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot chocolate?"

"I can't stay," squeaked Mrs. Lovebird. I just want to ask you what you think of the monster that's come to the veld.

"I really don't know," taunted Mister Hermit crab. "I didn't know about any monster. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," instructed Mrs. Lovebird hastily. "I heard that this monster likes to stack fire hoses."

"Um, I don't know what to say," gabbed Mister Hermit crab, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Lovebird, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the veld when we get a lot of monsters stacking fire hoses?"

"I can't imagine," peeped Mister Hermit crab.

"What are we going to do about it?" amended Mrs. Lovebird.

"Appoint a committee?" harangued Mister Hermit crab, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Lovebird had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Lovebird softly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," stormed Mister Hermit crab nimbly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Lovebird calmly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," orated Mister Hermit crab steadily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the desk on his front porch, looking out over the veld and curtseying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Lovebird. Do come again."

"Just a minute," drawled Mrs. Lovebird neatly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Hermit crab thought he had answered, and was beginning to get creepy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Lovebird doing these days?"

Mrs. Lovebird would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Hermit crab sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied viciously.