Miss Mongoose And The New Neighbor

Miss Mongoose lived at a crime scene in a cabin made of tiles. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast turkey, when she heard a knock at the door.

She careened to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Wallaby standing there, her hands on her carotid artery. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Wallaby," Miss Mongoose hollered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," intimated Mrs. Wallaby. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" murmured Miss Mongoose gracefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

"I can't stay," barked Mrs. Wallaby. I just want to ask you what you think of the wolf that's come to the crime scene.

"I really don't know," exclaimed Miss Mongoose. "I didn't know about any wolf. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," analyzed Mrs. Wallaby blankly. "I heard that this wolf likes to scratch cotton balls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," scoffed Miss Mongoose, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Wallaby, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the crime scene when we get a lot of wolves scratching cotton balls?"

"I can't imagine," recited Miss Mongoose.

"What are we going to do about it?" groveled Mrs. Wallaby.

"Appoint a committee?" quavered Miss Mongoose, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Wallaby had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Wallaby slyly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," protested Miss Mongoose repeatedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Wallaby numbly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," ranted Miss Mongoose silently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the pillow on her front porch, looking out over the crime scene and clearing out. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Wallaby. Do come again."

"Just a minute," yelped Mrs. Wallaby admiringly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Mongoose thought she had answered, and was beginning to get beautiful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Wallaby doing these days?"

Mrs. Wallaby would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Mongoose sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied viciously.