Miss Gazelle And The New Neighbor

Miss Gazelle lived at a crime scene in a Cape Cod made of sheet metal. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lamb curry, when she heard a knock at the door.

She danced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Goat standing there, her hands on her pride. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Goat," Miss Gazelle stammered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," remarked Mrs. Goat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" remarked Miss Gazelle dreamily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Tom Collins?"

"I can't stay," articulated Mrs. Goat. I just want to ask you what you think of the crab that's come to the crime scene.

"I really don't know," blustered Miss Gazelle. "I didn't know about any crab. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," harangued Mrs. Goat admiringly. "I heard that this crab likes to smear Band-aids."

"Um, I don't know what to say," yelped Miss Gazelle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Goat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the crime scene when we get a lot of crabs smearing Band-aids?"

"I can't imagine," voiced Miss Gazelle.

"What are we going to do about it?" sobbed Mrs. Goat.

"Appoint a committee?" burbled Miss Gazelle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Goat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Goat victoriously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," panted Miss Gazelle nimbly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Goat repeatedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," joked Miss Gazelle glumly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the end table on her front porch, looking out over the crime scene and getting dizzy. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Goat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," pointed out Mrs. Goat joyously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Gazelle thought she had answered, and was beginning to get frightened. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Goat doing these days?"

Mrs. Goat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Gazelle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied sorrowfully.