Miss Antelope And The New Neighbor

Miss Antelope lived in a glen in a hovel made of cards. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover smoked salmon, when she heard a knock at the door.

She tore to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Yeti standing there, his hands on his pituitary gland. "How nice to see you, Mister Yeti," Miss Antelope admitted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," shouted Mister Yeti. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" requested Miss Antelope uneasily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a grape soda?"

"I can't stay," emphasized Mister Yeti. I just want to ask you what you think of the eel that's come to the glen.

"I really don't know," rebutted Miss Antelope. "I didn't know about any eel. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," smiled Mister Yeti viciously. "I heard that this eel likes to measure bottles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," moaned Miss Antelope, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Yeti, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the glen when we get a lot of eels measureing bottles?"

"I can't imagine," realized Miss Antelope.

"What are we going to do about it?" croaked Mister Yeti.

"Appoint a committee?" blustered Miss Antelope, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Yeti had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Yeti hastily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," sniveled Miss Antelope happily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Yeti defiantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," gabbed Miss Antelope fearlessly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the ironing board on her front porch, looking out over the glen and playing solitaire. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Yeti. Do come again."

"Just a minute," moaned Mister Yeti admiringly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Antelope thought she had answered, and was beginning to get intelligent. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Yeti doing these days?"

Mister Yeti would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Antelope sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied hungrily.