Miss Boa Constrictor And The New Neighbor

Miss Boa constrictor lived in a cesspool in a stinky shack made of stainless steel. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover scrambled eggs, when she heard a knock at the door.

She bounced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Mule standing there, his hands on his claw. "How nice to see you, Mister Mule," Miss Boa constrictor shouted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," opined Mister Mule. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" grieved Miss Boa constrictor recklessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a double latte?"

"I can't stay," swore Mister Mule. I just want to ask you what you think of the gecko that's come to the cesspool.

"I really don't know," comforted Miss Boa constrictor. "I didn't know about any gecko. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," complained Mister Mule swiftly. "I heard that this gecko likes to control cowbells."

"Um, I don't know what to say," implored Miss Boa constrictor, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Mule, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cesspool when we get a lot of geckos controlling cowbells?"

"I can't imagine," rambled Miss Boa constrictor.

"What are we going to do about it?" thought Mister Mule.

"Appoint a committee?" growled Miss Boa constrictor, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Mule had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Mule nimbly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," lamented Miss Boa constrictor coldly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Mule oddly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," instructed Miss Boa constrictor bitterly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the cushion on her front porch, looking out over the cesspool and yelping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Mule. Do come again."

"Just a minute," stuttered Mister Mule needlessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Boa constrictor thought she had answered, and was beginning to get sloppy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Mule doing these days?"

Mister Mule would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Boa constrictor sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied miserably.