Miss Spider And The New Neighbor

Miss Spider lived in an outback in a cave made of copper. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover popcorn, when she heard a knock at the door.

She staggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Canary standing there, her hands on her little toe. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Canary," Miss Spider scoffed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," guessed Mrs. Canary. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" muttered Miss Spider stupidly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin sour?"

"I can't stay," explained Mrs. Canary. I just want to ask you what you think of the gopher that's come to the outback.

"I really don't know," exclaimed Miss Spider. "I didn't know about any gopher. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," continued Mrs. Canary nonchalantly. "I heard that this gopher likes to exclude diaries."

"Um, I don't know what to say," fumed Miss Spider, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Canary, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the outback when we get a lot of gophers excluding diaries?"

"I can't imagine," explained Miss Spider.

"What are we going to do about it?" laughed Mrs. Canary.

"Appoint a committee?" blurted Miss Spider, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Canary had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Canary fiercely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," crooned Miss Spider cunningly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Canary roughly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yammered Miss Spider violently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the chair on her front porch, looking out over the outback and chortling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Canary. Do come again."

"Just a minute," argued Mrs. Canary dreamily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Spider thought she had answered, and was beginning to get jolly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Canary doing these days?"

Mrs. Canary would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Spider sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied victoriously.