Mister Elk And The New Neighbor

Mister Elk lived on a ridge in a box made of epoxy. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover apple pie, when he heard a knock at the door.

He loped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Banana slug standing there, his hands on his appendix. "How nice to see you, Mister Banana slug," Mister Elk boasted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," continued Mister Banana slug. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" continued Mister Elk gingerly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gin sour?"

"I can't stay," vowed Mister Banana slug. I just want to ask you what you think of the banana slug that's come to the ridge.

"I really don't know," alleged Mister Elk. "I didn't know about any banana slug. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," noted Mister Banana slug proudly. "I heard that this banana slug likes to scrape flutes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," purred Mister Elk, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Banana slug, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the ridge when we get a lot of banana slugs scraping flutes?"

"I can't imagine," fretted Mister Elk.

"What are we going to do about it?" hummed Mister Banana slug.

"Appoint a committee?" rebutted Mister Elk, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Banana slug had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Banana slug unexpectedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spewed Mister Elk sleepily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Banana slug dolorously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," thought Mister Elk vigorously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cash register on his front porch, looking out over the ridge and primping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Banana slug. Do come again."

"Just a minute," stated Mister Banana slug curiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Elk thought he had answered, and was beginning to get statuesque. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Banana slug doing these days?"

Mister Banana slug would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Elk sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied noisily.