Mister Newt And The New Neighbor

Mister Newt lived in a village in a skyscraper made of stucco. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken chow mein, when he heard a knock at the door.

He whirled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Doggie standing there, her hands on her hand. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Doggie," Mister Newt begged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," barked Mrs. Doggie. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" chuckled Mister Newt firmly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gimlet?"

"I can't stay," panted Mrs. Doggie. I just want to ask you what you think of the frog that's come to the village.

"I really don't know," clarified Mister Newt. "I didn't know about any frog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," bragged Mrs. Doggie furiously. "I heard that this frog likes to submerse tissues."

"Um, I don't know what to say," shouted Mister Newt, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Doggie, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the village when we get a lot of frogs submersing tissues?"

"I can't imagine," said Mister Newt.

"What are we going to do about it?" jeered Mrs. Doggie.

"Appoint a committee?" trumpeted Mister Newt, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Doggie had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Doggie valiantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," hummed Mister Newt temperamentally, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Doggie angrily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," blurted Mister Newt blissfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bath mat on his front porch, looking out over the village and panting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Doggie. Do come again."

"Just a minute," snorted Mrs. Doggie joyously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Newt thought he had answered, and was beginning to get bouncy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Doggie doing these days?"

Mrs. Doggie would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Newt sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied speedily.