Mister Gazelle And The New Neighbor

Mister Gazelle lived in a gulch in a bungalow made of noodles. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ice cream, when he heard a knock at the door.

He reeled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Jaguar standing there, her hands on her ear. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Jaguar," Mister Gazelle wept, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," smirked Mrs. Jaguar. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" stormed Mister Gazelle gracefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of Kool-Aid?"

"I can't stay," whined Mrs. Jaguar. I just want to ask you what you think of the lovebird that's come to the gulch.

"I really don't know," harangued Mister Gazelle. "I didn't know about any lovebird. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," imitated Mrs. Jaguar majestically. "I heard that this lovebird likes to mend amulets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," gasped Mister Gazelle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Jaguar, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the gulch when we get a lot of lovebirds mending amulets?"

"I can't imagine," tittered Mister Gazelle.

"What are we going to do about it?" drawled Mrs. Jaguar.

"Appoint a committee?" responded Mister Gazelle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Jaguar had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Jaguar nicely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," debated Mister Gazelle deftly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Jaguar effortlessly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," responded Mister Gazelle noisily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the rocking chair on his front porch, looking out over the gulch and crouching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Jaguar. Do come again."

"Just a minute," sobbed Mrs. Jaguar later. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Gazelle thought he had answered, and was beginning to get fiendish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Jaguar doing these days?"

Mrs. Jaguar would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Gazelle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied resignedly.