Mister Hawk And The New Neighbor

Mister Hawk lived on a path in a spa made of jewels. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mushroom quiche, when he heard a knock at the door.

He rushed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Hermit crab standing there, her hands on her Adam's apple. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Hermit crab," Mister Hawk cackled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," articulated Mrs. Hermit crab. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" amended Mister Hawk crazily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Moscow mule?"

"I can't stay," yammered Mrs. Hermit crab. I just want to ask you what you think of the mustang that's come to the path.

"I really don't know," intimated Mister Hawk. "I didn't know about any mustang. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," informed Mrs. Hermit crab shakily. "I heard that this mustang likes to unwrap cookbooks."

"Um, I don't know what to say," argued Mister Hawk, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Hermit crab, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the path when we get a lot of mustangs unwrapping cookbooks?"

"I can't imagine," gasped Mister Hawk.

"What are we going to do about it?" cackled Mrs. Hermit crab.

"Appoint a committee?" burbled Mister Hawk, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Hermit crab had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Hermit crab temperamentally. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," professed Mister Hawk excitedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Hermit crab thoughtfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," answered Mister Hawk boisterously, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the windowsill on his front porch, looking out over the path and sitting still. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Hermit crab. Do come again."

"Just a minute," retorted Mrs. Hermit crab dreamily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Hawk thought he had answered, and was beginning to get attractive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Hermit crab doing these days?"

Mrs. Hermit crab would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Hawk sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied crazily.