Miss Shrew And The New Neighbor

Miss Shrew lived in a pond in a retreat made of recycled newspaper. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pecan pie, when she heard a knock at the door.

She swung to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Basset hound standing there, his hands on his nostril. "How nice to see you, Mister Basset hound," Miss Shrew panted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," conversed Mister Basset hound. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" shrieked Miss Shrew wildly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a double latte?"

"I can't stay," interpreted Mister Basset hound. I just want to ask you what you think of the groundhog that's come to the pond.

"I really don't know," blathered Miss Shrew. "I didn't know about any groundhog. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," voiced Mister Basset hound grimly. "I heard that this groundhog likes to throw magazines."

"Um, I don't know what to say," contended Miss Shrew, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Basset hound, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the pond when we get a lot of groundhogs throwing magazines?"

"I can't imagine," contended Miss Shrew.

"What are we going to do about it?" simpered Mister Basset hound.

"Appoint a committee?" implored Miss Shrew, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Basset hound had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Basset hound uselessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," articulated Miss Shrew majestically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Basset hound merrily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," wailed Miss Shrew victoriously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bathtub on her front porch, looking out over the pond and chattering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Basset hound. Do come again."

"Just a minute," agreed Mister Basset hound greedily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Shrew thought she had answered, and was beginning to get sinister. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Basset hound doing these days?"

Mister Basset hound would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Shrew sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied kindly.