Mister Monkey And The New Neighbor

Mister Monkey lived in a gulch in a barracks made of duct tape. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cookies, when he heard a knock at the door.

He trotted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Cocker spaniel standing there, her hands on her scalp. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Cocker spaniel," Mister Monkey interpreted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," stormed Mrs. Cocker spaniel. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" suggested Mister Monkey woodenly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of champagne?"

"I can't stay," tittered Mrs. Cocker spaniel. I just want to ask you what you think of the airedale that's come to the gulch.

"I really don't know," bellowed Mister Monkey. "I didn't know about any airedale. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," fumed Mrs. Cocker spaniel tearfully. "I heard that this airedale likes to measure bells."

"Um, I don't know what to say," smirked Mister Monkey, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Cocker spaniel, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the gulch when we get a lot of airedales measureing bells?"

"I can't imagine," drawled Mister Monkey.

"What are we going to do about it?" blurted Mrs. Cocker spaniel.

"Appoint a committee?" uttered Mister Monkey, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Cocker spaniel had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Cocker spaniel strangely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," chuckled Mister Monkey boldly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Cocker spaniel awkwardly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," harangued Mister Monkey proudly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the windowsill on his front porch, looking out over the gulch and pacing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Cocker spaniel. Do come again."

"Just a minute," sputtered Mrs. Cocker spaniel gracefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Monkey thought he had answered, and was beginning to get calm. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Cocker spaniel doing these days?"

Mrs. Cocker spaniel would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Monkey sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied madly.