Mister Peacock And The New Neighbor

Mister Peacock lived in a country meadow in a wikiup made of slime. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover sushi, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sneaked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Hawk standing there, her hands on her elbow. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Hawk," Mister Peacock spewed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," preached Mrs. Hawk. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" announced Mister Peacock arrogantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a margarita?"

"I can't stay," squeaked Mrs. Hawk. I just want to ask you what you think of the cocker spaniel that's come to the country meadow.

"I really don't know," muttered Mister Peacock. "I didn't know about any cocker spaniel. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sobbed Mrs. Hawk cheerfully. "I heard that this cocker spaniel likes to submerse charts."

"Um, I don't know what to say," murmured Mister Peacock, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Hawk, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the country meadow when we get a lot of cocker spaniels submersing charts?"

"I can't imagine," scoffed Mister Peacock.

"What are we going to do about it?" debated Mrs. Hawk.

"Appoint a committee?" divulged Mister Peacock, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Hawk had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Hawk deliberately. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," inquired Mister Peacock strangely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Hawk brashly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," debated Mister Peacock angrily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the nightstand on his front porch, looking out over the country meadow and clapping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Hawk. Do come again."

"Just a minute," sniveled Mrs. Hawk unabashedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Peacock thought he had answered, and was beginning to get muscular. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Hawk doing these days?"

Mrs. Hawk would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Peacock sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied nonchalantly.