Miss Monster And The New Neighbor

Miss Monster lived at a dump in a cave made of titanium. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lamb curry, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sprinted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Turkey standing there, her hands on her gut. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Turkey," Miss Monster quoted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," peeped Mrs. Turkey. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" drawled Miss Monster boisterously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Manhattan?"

"I can't stay," simpered Mrs. Turkey. I just want to ask you what you think of the frog that's come to the dump.

"I really don't know," screeched Miss Monster. "I didn't know about any frog. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," harangued Mrs. Turkey coldly. "I heard that this frog likes to submerse paper clips."

"Um, I don't know what to say," croaked Miss Monster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Turkey, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dump when we get a lot of frogs submersing paper clips?"

"I can't imagine," mentioned Miss Monster.

"What are we going to do about it?" sniffed Mrs. Turkey.

"Appoint a committee?" observed Miss Monster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Turkey had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Turkey smoothly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," amended Miss Monster kindly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Turkey openly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," spouted Miss Monster valiantly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the card table on her front porch, looking out over the dump and backing down. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Turkey. Do come again."

"Just a minute," piped up Mrs. Turkey woodenly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Monster thought she had answered, and was beginning to get solitary. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Turkey doing these days?"

Mrs. Turkey would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Monster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied intensely.