Miss Beagle And The New Neighbor

Miss Beagle lived in a forest in a church made of drywall. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover bonbons, when she heard a knock at the door.

She strolled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Gopher standing there, his hands on his dignity. "How nice to see you, Mister Gopher," Miss Beagle stammered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," judged Mister Gopher. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" judged Miss Beagle brightly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of wine?"

"I can't stay," sniveled Mister Gopher. I just want to ask you what you think of the Guinea pig that's come to the forest.

"I really don't know," enunciated Miss Beagle. "I didn't know about any Guinea pig. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," responded Mister Gopher steadily. "I heard that this Guinea pig likes to refine acorns."

"Um, I don't know what to say," rebutted Miss Beagle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Gopher, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the forest when we get a lot of Guinea pigs refining acorns?"

"I can't imagine," urged Miss Beagle.

"What are we going to do about it?" swore Mister Gopher.

"Appoint a committee?" bragged Miss Beagle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Gopher had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Gopher blindly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," babbled Miss Beagle unabashedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Gopher clumsily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," argued Miss Beagle vacantly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the settee on her front porch, looking out over the forest and clattering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Gopher. Do come again."

"Just a minute," squeaked Mister Gopher caustically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Beagle thought she had answered, and was beginning to get angry. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Gopher doing these days?"

Mister Gopher would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Beagle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied furiously.