Miss Beagle And The New Neighbor

Miss Beagle lived on a steppe in a crypt made of lath and plaster. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cabbage, when she heard a knock at the door.

She trekked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Basset hound standing there, his hands on his bladder. "How nice to see you, Mister Basset hound," Miss Beagle added, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," clarified Mister Basset hound. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" yelped Miss Beagle irritably, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bud Lite?"

"I can't stay," wailed Mister Basset hound. I just want to ask you what you think of the parrot that's come to the steppe.

"I really don't know," exploded Miss Beagle. "I didn't know about any parrot. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," preached Mister Basset hound noisily. "I heard that this parrot likes to polish chamber pots."

"Um, I don't know what to say," hissed Miss Beagle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Basset hound, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the steppe when we get a lot of parrots polishing chamber pots?"

"I can't imagine," affirmed Miss Beagle.

"What are we going to do about it?" queried Mister Basset hound.

"Appoint a committee?" enunciated Miss Beagle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Basset hound had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Basset hound suddenly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," argued Miss Beagle ruefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Basset hound brashly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," phrased Miss Beagle fearlessly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the coffee table on her front porch, looking out over the steppe and chuckling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Basset hound. Do come again."

"Just a minute," roared Mister Basset hound recklessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Beagle thought she had answered, and was beginning to get stubborn. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Basset hound doing these days?"

Mister Basset hound would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Beagle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied nervously.