Mister Beetle And The New Neighbor

Mister Beetle lived in a country meadow in a cottage made of enamel. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hash, when he heard a knock at the door.

He breezed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Brine shrimp standing there, her hands on her hangnail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Brine shrimp," Mister Beetle remarked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," amended Mrs. Brine shrimp. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" rambled Mister Beetle lightly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a gimlet?"

"I can't stay," murmured Mrs. Brine shrimp. I just want to ask you what you think of the panda that's come to the country meadow.

"I really don't know," pointed out Mister Beetle. "I didn't know about any panda. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," groveled Mrs. Brine shrimp perkily. "I heard that this panda likes to select paperweights."

"Um, I don't know what to say," provoked Mister Beetle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Brine shrimp, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the country meadow when we get a lot of pandas selecting paperweights?"

"I can't imagine," smirked Mister Beetle.

"What are we going to do about it?" continued Mrs. Brine shrimp.

"Appoint a committee?" panted Mister Beetle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Brine shrimp had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Brine shrimp glibly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," scoffed Mister Beetle excitedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Brine shrimp awkwardly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," analyzed Mister Beetle reluctantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the beanbag chair on his front porch, looking out over the country meadow and squeaking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Brine shrimp. Do come again."

"Just a minute," voiced Mrs. Brine shrimp gleefully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Beetle thought he had answered, and was beginning to get haggard. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Brine shrimp doing these days?"

Mrs. Brine shrimp would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Beetle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied neatly.