Mister Crab And The New Neighbor

Mister Crab lived in a cave in a yurt made of papier-mâché. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover macaroni, when he heard a knock at the door.

He went to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Sloth standing there, her hands on her hand. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Sloth," Mister Crab rationalized, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," peeped Mrs. Sloth. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" spoke up Mister Crab dolorously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Shirley Temple?"

"I can't stay," protested Mrs. Sloth. I just want to ask you what you think of the orangutan that's come to the cave.

"I really don't know," cackled Mister Crab. "I didn't know about any orangutan. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chattered Mrs. Sloth sleepily. "I heard that this orangutan likes to kick pickles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," piped up Mister Crab, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Sloth, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cave when we get a lot of orangutans kicking pickles?"

"I can't imagine," croaked Mister Crab.

"What are we going to do about it?" railed Mrs. Sloth.

"Appoint a committee?" expressed Mister Crab, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Sloth had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Sloth dolorously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," simpered Mister Crab angrily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Sloth softly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," vowed Mister Crab bitterly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the washstand on his front porch, looking out over the cave and shivering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Sloth. Do come again."

"Just a minute," blurted Mrs. Sloth innocently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Crab thought he had answered, and was beginning to get impish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Sloth doing these days?"

Mrs. Sloth would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Crab sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied violently.