Miss Weasel And The New Neighbor

Miss Weasel lived on a butte in a skyscraper made of diamonds. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hors d'oeuvre, when she heard a knock at the door.

She straggled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Pekingese standing there, her hands on her thyroid gland. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Pekingese," Miss Weasel professed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," roared Mrs. Pekingese. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mused Miss Weasel recklessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

"I can't stay," brought up Mrs. Pekingese. I just want to ask you what you think of the pig that's come to the butte.

"I really don't know," chortled Miss Weasel. "I didn't know about any pig. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," grunted Mrs. Pekingese confidently. "I heard that this pig likes to wax pairs of scissors."

"Um, I don't know what to say," rumored Miss Weasel, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Pekingese, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the butte when we get a lot of pigs waxing pairs of scissors?"

"I can't imagine," stated Miss Weasel.

"What are we going to do about it?" snarled Mrs. Pekingese.

"Appoint a committee?" phrased Miss Weasel, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Pekingese had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Pekingese reluctantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," disputed Miss Weasel caustically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Pekingese tearfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," asserted Miss Weasel quietly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the crib on her front porch, looking out over the butte and rocking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Pekingese. Do come again."

"Just a minute," belched Mrs. Pekingese frenetically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Weasel thought she had answered, and was beginning to get shifty. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Pekingese doing these days?"

Mrs. Pekingese would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Weasel sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied steadily.