Miss Bear And The New Neighbor

Miss Bear lived at a lakeside in a box made of cement. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ceviche, when she heard a knock at the door.

She dashed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Quail standing there, her hands on her kidney. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Quail," Miss Bear spat, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," spat Mrs. Quail. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" breathed Miss Bear pitifully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an old fashioned?"

"I can't stay," vowed Mrs. Quail. I just want to ask you what you think of the sasquatch that's come to the lakeside.

"I really don't know," drawled Miss Bear. "I didn't know about any sasquatch. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," concluded Mrs. Quail anxiously. "I heard that this sasquatch likes to recommend wastebaskets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," grunted Miss Bear, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Quail, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lakeside when we get a lot of sasquatches recommending wastebaskets?"

"I can't imagine," affirmed Miss Bear.

"What are we going to do about it?" remarked Mrs. Quail.

"Appoint a committee?" revealed Miss Bear, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Quail had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Quail queerly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," debated Miss Bear steadily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Quail arrogantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," opined Miss Bear later, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the toilet on her front porch, looking out over the lakeside and inhaling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Quail. Do come again."

"Just a minute," interpreted Mrs. Quail quietly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Bear thought she had answered, and was beginning to get cunning. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Quail doing these days?"

Mrs. Quail would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Bear sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied gracefully.