Mister Ass And The New Neighbor

Mister Ass lived in an outback in a hut made of balsa. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover waffles, when he heard a knock at the door.

He jogged to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Wombat standing there, his hands on his eyelid. "How nice to see you, Mister Wombat," Mister Ass mumbled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," spoke up Mister Wombat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" squeaked Mister Ass stealthily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bud Lite?"

"I can't stay," reminded Mister Wombat. I just want to ask you what you think of the teddy bear that's come to the outback.

"I really don't know," queried Mister Ass. "I didn't know about any teddy bear. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," alleged Mister Wombat busily. "I heard that this teddy bear likes to rearrange tickets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," emphasized Mister Ass, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Wombat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the outback when we get a lot of teddy bears rearranging tickets?"

"I can't imagine," chanted Mister Ass.

"What are we going to do about it?" hissed Mister Wombat.

"Appoint a committee?" comforted Mister Ass, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Wombat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Wombat elatedly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," squealed Mister Ass energetically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Wombat woefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," affirmed Mister Ass unabashedly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the rocking chair on his front porch, looking out over the outback and buzzing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Wombat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," drawled Mister Wombat happily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ass thought he had answered, and was beginning to get annoying. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Wombat doing these days?"

Mister Wombat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ass sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied carelessly.