Mister Beetle And The New Neighbor

Mister Beetle lived in a dumpster in a wikiup made of diamonds. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover falafel, when he heard a knock at the door.

He skidded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Meerkat standing there, her hands on her big toe. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Meerkat," Mister Beetle chimed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," squealed Mrs. Meerkat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" sighed Mister Beetle gleefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of bouillon?"

"I can't stay," nattered Mrs. Meerkat. I just want to ask you what you think of the rat that's come to the dumpster.

"I really don't know," piped up Mister Beetle. "I didn't know about any rat. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," hissed Mrs. Meerkat hopelessly. "I heard that this rat likes to mutilate microphones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," imitated Mister Beetle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Meerkat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dumpster when we get a lot of rats mutilating microphones?"

"I can't imagine," squeaked Mister Beetle.

"What are we going to do about it?" comforted Mrs. Meerkat.

"Appoint a committee?" whispered Mister Beetle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Meerkat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Meerkat temperamentally. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," breathed Mister Beetle vacantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Meerkat testily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," squeaked Mister Beetle demurely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the pedestal on his front porch, looking out over the dumpster and falling asleep. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Meerkat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," interrupted Mrs. Meerkat narrowly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Beetle thought he had answered, and was beginning to get weary. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Meerkat doing these days?"

Mrs. Meerkat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Beetle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied courteously.