Miss Puma And The New Neighbor

Miss Puma lived beside a river in a brownstone made of garbage. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ramen noodles, when she heard a knock at the door.

She capered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Cockatiel standing there, his hands on his belly. "How nice to see you, Mister Cockatiel," Miss Puma spouted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," whispered Mister Cockatiel. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" opined Miss Puma haughtily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of grape juice?"

"I can't stay," asserted Mister Cockatiel. I just want to ask you what you think of the pig that's come to the river.

"I really don't know," burbled Miss Puma. "I didn't know about any pig. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," hollered Mister Cockatiel suddenly. "I heard that this pig likes to ridicule biscuits."

"Um, I don't know what to say," shouted Miss Puma, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cockatiel, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the river when we get a lot of pigs ridiculing biscuits?"

"I can't imagine," commented Miss Puma.

"What are we going to do about it?" wondered Mister Cockatiel.

"Appoint a committee?" accused Miss Puma, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cockatiel had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cockatiel surreptitiously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," concluded Miss Puma furiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cockatiel positively. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," insisted Miss Puma quietly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the toilet on her front porch, looking out over the river and getting rigid. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cockatiel. Do come again."

"Just a minute," maintained Mister Cockatiel surreptitiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Puma thought she had answered, and was beginning to get depraved. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cockatiel doing these days?"

Mister Cockatiel would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Puma sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied cunningly.