Mister Burro And The New Neighbor

Mister Burro lived on a mountainside in a barracks made of peanut butter. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ravioli, when he heard a knock at the door.

He set out to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Banana slug standing there, his hands on his pinky. "How nice to see you, Mister Banana slug," Mister Burro pleaded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," breathed Mister Banana slug. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" remarked Mister Burro briskly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a chamomile tea?"

"I can't stay," hissed Mister Banana slug. I just want to ask you what you think of the ox that's come to the mountainside.

"I really don't know," mouthed Mister Burro. "I didn't know about any ox. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," urged Mister Banana slug fiercely. "I heard that this ox likes to prod clarinets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," yawned Mister Burro, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Banana slug, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountainside when we get a lot of oxen prodding clarinets?"

"I can't imagine," murmured Mister Burro.

"What are we going to do about it?" intoned Mister Banana slug.

"Appoint a committee?" thought Mister Burro, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Banana slug had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Banana slug diligently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," interrupted Mister Burro vacantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Banana slug nonchalantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," mouthed Mister Burro bitterly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the buffet on his front porch, looking out over the mountainside and dealing cards. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Banana slug. Do come again."

"Just a minute," repeated Mister Banana slug mysteriously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Burro thought he had answered, and was beginning to get passionate. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Banana slug doing these days?"

Mister Banana slug would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Burro sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied coldly.