Miss Pony And The New Neighbor

Miss Pony lived in a gulch in a Victorian mansion made of plasma. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover cabbage, when she heard a knock at the door.

She darted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Horsie standing there, her hands on her Adam's apple. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Horsie," Miss Pony quavered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," blustered Mrs. Horsie. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" squealed Miss Pony busily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," lamented Mrs. Horsie. I just want to ask you what you think of the garter snake that's come to the gulch.

"I really don't know," phrased Miss Pony. "I didn't know about any garter snake. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yelled Mrs. Horsie unabashedly. "I heard that this garter snake likes to burn flyswatters."

"Um, I don't know what to say," swore Miss Pony, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Horsie, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the gulch when we get a lot of garter snakes burning flyswatters?"

"I can't imagine," declared Miss Pony.

"What are we going to do about it?" brought up Mrs. Horsie.

"Appoint a committee?" spewed Miss Pony, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Horsie had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Horsie later. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," mentioned Miss Pony caustically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Horsie arrogantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," remarked Miss Pony grudgingly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the ironing board on her front porch, looking out over the gulch and swallowing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Horsie. Do come again."

"Just a minute," chortled Mrs. Horsie deliberately. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Pony thought she had answered, and was beginning to get dignified. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Horsie doing these days?"

Mrs. Horsie would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Pony sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied later.