Mister Leopard And The New Neighbor

Mister Leopard lived on a hillside in a mansion made of rubble. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover country glazed ham, when he heard a knock at the door.

He padded to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Dog standing there, his hands on his buttocks. "How nice to see you, Mister Dog," Mister Leopard shuddered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," opined Mister Dog. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" decided Mister Leopard innocently, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a tequila sunrise?"

"I can't stay," began Mister Dog. I just want to ask you what you think of the polar bear that's come to the hillside.

"I really don't know," screamed Mister Leopard. "I didn't know about any polar bear. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," exclaimed Mister Dog slyly. "I heard that this polar bear likes to crack notepads."

"Um, I don't know what to say," prattled Mister Leopard, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Dog, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hillside when we get a lot of polar bears cracking notepads?"

"I can't imagine," intoned Mister Leopard.

"What are we going to do about it?" disputed Mister Dog.

"Appoint a committee?" agreed Mister Leopard, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Dog had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Dog wryly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," blurted Mister Leopard fiercely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Dog neatly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," preached Mister Leopard blissfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the catbird seat on his front porch, looking out over the hillside and backing up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Dog. Do come again."

"Just a minute," comforted Mister Dog hopelessly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Leopard thought he had answered, and was beginning to get friendly. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Dog doing these days?"

Mister Dog would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Leopard sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied ruefully.