Miss Boa Constrictor And The New Neighbor

Miss Boa constrictor lived at a seashore in a mansion made of old tires. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ramen noodles, when she heard a knock at the door.

She blundered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Gecko standing there, her hands on her carotid artery. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Gecko," Miss Boa constrictor asked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," rambled Mrs. Gecko. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" sniped Miss Boa constrictor jokingly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a sarsaparilla?"

"I can't stay," burbled Mrs. Gecko. I just want to ask you what you think of the bison that's come to the seashore.

"I really don't know," implored Miss Boa constrictor. "I didn't know about any bison. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," grunted Mrs. Gecko cunningly. "I heard that this bison likes to reposition pizzas."

"Um, I don't know what to say," responded Miss Boa constrictor, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Gecko, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the seashore when we get a lot of bison repositioning pizzas?"

"I can't imagine," stammered Miss Boa constrictor.

"What are we going to do about it?" asked Mrs. Gecko.

"Appoint a committee?" demanded Miss Boa constrictor, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Gecko had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Gecko mysteriously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," concluded Miss Boa constrictor busily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Gecko fearfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," trumpeted Miss Boa constrictor arrogantly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the TV on her front porch, looking out over the seashore and sneezing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Gecko. Do come again."

"Just a minute," intimated Mrs. Gecko swiftly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Boa constrictor thought she had answered, and was beginning to get furious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Gecko doing these days?"

Mrs. Gecko would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Boa constrictor sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied nervously.