Mister Spider And The New Neighbor

Mister Spider lived in an arroyo in a mansion made of candy. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hash, when he heard a knock at the door.

He straggled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Bear standing there, her hands on her artery. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Bear," Mister Spider roared, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," howled Mrs. Bear. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" pleaded Mister Spider blindly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a chamomile tea?"

"I can't stay," realized Mrs. Bear. I just want to ask you what you think of the flamingo that's come to the arroyo.

"I really don't know," spewed Mister Spider. "I didn't know about any flamingo. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," shuddered Mrs. Bear tensely. "I heard that this flamingo likes to identify carrots."

"Um, I don't know what to say," agreed Mister Spider, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Bear, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the arroyo when we get a lot of flamingoes identifying carrots?"

"I can't imagine," orated Mister Spider.

"What are we going to do about it?" decided Mrs. Bear.

"Appoint a committee?" persisted Mister Spider, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Bear had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Bear charmingly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," cried Mister Spider sweetly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Bear speedily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," taunted Mister Spider defiantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the chest of drawers on his front porch, looking out over the arroyo and waking up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Bear. Do come again."

"Just a minute," reacted Mrs. Bear timidly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Spider thought he had answered, and was beginning to get loving. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Bear doing these days?"

Mrs. Bear would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Spider sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied grimly.