Mister Turtle And The New Neighbor

Mister Turtle lived in a briar patch in an A-frame made of plastic. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover roast Cornish game hen, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sallied forth to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Antelope standing there, her hands on her tummy. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Antelope," Mister Turtle comforted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," blustered Mrs. Antelope. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" grunted Mister Turtle crossly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mojito?"

"I can't stay," asked Mrs. Antelope. I just want to ask you what you think of the duck that's come to the briar patch.

"I really don't know," ranted Mister Turtle. "I didn't know about any duck. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," interpreted Mrs. Antelope ignobly. "I heard that this duck likes to grind cans of beer."

"Um, I don't know what to say," agreed Mister Turtle, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Antelope, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the briar patch when we get a lot of ducks grinding cans of beer?"

"I can't imagine," retorted Mister Turtle.

"What are we going to do about it?" spewed Mrs. Antelope.

"Appoint a committee?" reminded Mister Turtle, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Antelope had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Antelope sadly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," joked Mister Turtle bravely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Antelope brashly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," tittered Mister Turtle innocently, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the settee on his front porch, looking out over the briar patch and watching. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Antelope. Do come again."

"Just a minute," piped up Mrs. Antelope courteously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Turtle thought he had answered, and was beginning to get lazy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Antelope doing these days?"

Mrs. Antelope would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Turtle sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied joyously.