Mister Walrus And The New Neighbor

Mister Walrus lived on a prairie in a treehouse made of dirt. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover French fries, when he heard a knock at the door.

He trekked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Cockroach standing there, his hands on his bicep. "How nice to see you, Mister Cockroach," Mister Walrus shrieked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," prattled Mister Cockroach. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" mouthed Mister Walrus nonchalantly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an ice cream soda?"

"I can't stay," howled Mister Cockroach. I just want to ask you what you think of the rabbit that's come to the prairie.

"I really don't know," sniped Mister Walrus. "I didn't know about any rabbit. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," judged Mister Cockroach cruelly. "I heard that this rabbit likes to pinch pumpkins."

"Um, I don't know what to say," argued Mister Walrus, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cockroach, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the prairie when we get a lot of rabbits pinching pumpkins?"

"I can't imagine," yammered Mister Walrus.

"What are we going to do about it?" queried Mister Cockroach.

"Appoint a committee?" retorted Mister Walrus, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cockroach had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cockroach temperamentally. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," exclaimed Mister Walrus languidly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cockroach hastily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," acknowledged Mister Walrus crossly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the mattress on his front porch, looking out over the prairie and slobbering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cockroach. Do come again."

"Just a minute," snorted Mister Cockroach deftly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Walrus thought he had answered, and was beginning to get hungry. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cockroach doing these days?"

Mister Cockroach would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Walrus sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied cleverly.