Mister Hog And The New Neighbor

Mister Hog lived in a cesspool in an A-frame made of copper. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover smoked salmon, when he heard a knock at the door.

He skipped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Bullfrog standing there, her hands on her bicep. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Bullfrog," Mister Hog divulged, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," phrased Mrs. Bullfrog. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" pointed out Mister Hog carelessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of grape juice?"

"I can't stay," harangued Mrs. Bullfrog. I just want to ask you what you think of the chameleon that's come to the cesspool.

"I really don't know," burbled Mister Hog. "I didn't know about any chameleon. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," articulated Mrs. Bullfrog nicely. "I heard that this chameleon likes to whirl flowerpots."

"Um, I don't know what to say," vowed Mister Hog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Bullfrog, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cesspool when we get a lot of chameleons whirling flowerpots?"

"I can't imagine," explained Mister Hog.

"What are we going to do about it?" declaimed Mrs. Bullfrog.

"Appoint a committee?" stammered Mister Hog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Bullfrog had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Bullfrog suspiciously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," exclaimed Mister Hog solemnly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Bullfrog temperamentally. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," mumbled Mister Hog fearfully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the footstool on his front porch, looking out over the cesspool and clapping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Bullfrog. Do come again."

"Just a minute," contended Mrs. Bullfrog hastily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Hog thought he had answered, and was beginning to get stubby. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Bullfrog doing these days?"

Mrs. Bullfrog would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Hog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sarcastically.