Miss Macaque And The New Neighbor

Miss Macaque lived in a dumpster in a townhouse made of glass brick. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover dirty rice, when she heard a knock at the door.

She walked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Cockroach standing there, his hands on his shoulder. "How nice to see you, Mister Cockroach," Miss Macaque squawked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," affirmed Mister Cockroach. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" amended Miss Macaque excitedly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of KoolAid?"

"I can't stay," urged Mister Cockroach. I just want to ask you what you think of the squirrel that's come to the dumpster.

"I really don't know," pleaded Miss Macaque. "I didn't know about any squirrel. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," vouched Mister Cockroach swiftly. "I heard that this squirrel likes to pinch mops."

"Um, I don't know what to say," realized Miss Macaque, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cockroach, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dumpster when we get a lot of squirrels pinching mops?"

"I can't imagine," stuttered Miss Macaque.

"What are we going to do about it?" retorted Mister Cockroach.

"Appoint a committee?" whispered Miss Macaque, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cockroach had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cockroach positively. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," suggested Miss Macaque hopefully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cockroach brightly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," questioned Miss Macaque vigorously, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the dishwasher on her front porch, looking out over the dumpster and raising an eyebrow. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cockroach. Do come again."

"Just a minute," remarked Mister Cockroach nonchalantly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Macaque thought she had answered, and was beginning to get conceited. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cockroach doing these days?"

Mister Cockroach would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Macaque sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied cruelly.