Miss Deer And The New Neighbor

Miss Deer lived on a peninsula in a closet made of tin. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pretzels, when she heard a knock at the door.

She flew to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Hamster standing there, his hands on his elbow. "How nice to see you, Mister Hamster," Miss Deer burbled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," trumpeted Mister Hamster. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" vouched Miss Deer viciously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot buttered rum?"

"I can't stay," sighed Mister Hamster. I just want to ask you what you think of the squirrel that's come to the peninsula.

"I really don't know," added Miss Deer. "I didn't know about any squirrel. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yammered Mister Hamster courteously. "I heard that this squirrel likes to replace Rubik's cubes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," growled Miss Deer, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Hamster, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the peninsula when we get a lot of squirrels replacing Rubik's cubes?"

"I can't imagine," boomed Miss Deer.

"What are we going to do about it?" mumbled Mister Hamster.

"Appoint a committee?" snorted Miss Deer, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Hamster had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Hamster doubtfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," scoffed Miss Deer nicely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Hamster solemnly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," intoned Miss Deer kindly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the catbird seat on her front porch, looking out over the peninsula and backing up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Hamster. Do come again."

"Just a minute," mused Mister Hamster fiercely. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Deer thought she had answered, and was beginning to get zany. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Hamster doing these days?"

Mister Hamster would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Deer sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied bitterly.