Miss Ghost And The New Neighbor

Miss Ghost lived on an island in a barracks made of polyester. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover biscuits and gravy, when she heard a knock at the door.

She lurched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Finch standing there, her hands on her hair. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Finch," Miss Ghost enunciated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," warbled Mrs. Finch. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" vouched Miss Ghost smoothly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a rum and Coke?"

"I can't stay," barked Mrs. Finch. I just want to ask you what you think of the walrus that's come to the island.

"I really don't know," hummed Miss Ghost. "I didn't know about any walrus. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chimed Mrs. Finch diligently. "I heard that this walrus likes to hurl sacks of potatoes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," recited Miss Ghost, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Finch, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the island when we get a lot of walruses hurling sacks of potatoes?"

"I can't imagine," blathered Miss Ghost.

"What are we going to do about it?" debated Mrs. Finch.

"Appoint a committee?" phrased Miss Ghost, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Finch had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Finch roughly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," nattered Miss Ghost lazily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Finch offhandedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," acknowledged Miss Ghost wearily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the armoire on her front porch, looking out over the island and cogitating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Finch. Do come again."

"Just a minute," interpreted Mrs. Finch diligently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Ghost thought she had answered, and was beginning to get phlegmatic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Finch doing these days?"

Mrs. Finch would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Ghost sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied diligently.