Mister Phantom And The New Neighbor

Mister Phantom lived in a lagoon in a retreat made of tempered glass. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover mushroom quiche, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sprinted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Buffalo standing there, his hands on his pancreas. "How nice to see you, Mister Buffalo," Mister Phantom sobbed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," guessed Mister Buffalo. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" preached Mister Phantom sympathetically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of tomato juice?"

"I can't stay," protested Mister Buffalo. I just want to ask you what you think of the yak that's come to the lagoon.

"I really don't know," giggled Mister Phantom. "I didn't know about any yak. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," purred Mister Buffalo grandly. "I heard that this yak likes to abuse toothbrushes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," reacted Mister Phantom, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Buffalo, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lagoon when we get a lot of yaks abusing toothbrushes?"

"I can't imagine," asserted Mister Phantom.

"What are we going to do about it?" clarified Mister Buffalo.

"Appoint a committee?" fumed Mister Phantom, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Buffalo had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Buffalo nonchalantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," imitated Mister Phantom cheerfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Buffalo hopefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," professed Mister Phantom quickly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the umbrella stand on his front porch, looking out over the lagoon and dilly-dallying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Buffalo. Do come again."

"Just a minute," declared Mister Buffalo admiringly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Phantom thought he had answered, and was beginning to get insane. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Buffalo doing these days?"

Mister Buffalo would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Phantom sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied cleverly.