Mister Lamb And The New Neighbor

Mister Lamb lived in a glen in a mud hut made of toothpicks. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when he heard a knock at the door.

He flounced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Ape standing there, his hands on his pituitary gland. "How nice to see you, Mister Ape," Mister Lamb analyzed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," accused Mister Ape. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" informed Mister Lamb irritably, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a bottle of rum?"

"I can't stay," pronounced Mister Ape. I just want to ask you what you think of the tiger that's come to the glen.

"I really don't know," warbled Mister Lamb. "I didn't know about any tiger. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," yowled Mister Ape ruefully. "I heard that this tiger likes to load cell phones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," pleaded Mister Lamb, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Ape, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the glen when we get a lot of tigers loading cell phones?"

"I can't imagine," murmured Mister Lamb.

"What are we going to do about it?" sniffed Mister Ape.

"Appoint a committee?" queried Mister Lamb, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Ape had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Ape pitifully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," demanded Mister Lamb later, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Ape automatically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," bragged Mister Lamb nonchalantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the TV on his front porch, looking out over the glen and fretting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Ape. Do come again."

"Just a minute," intoned Mister Ape urgently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Lamb thought he had answered, and was beginning to get somber. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Ape doing these days?"

Mister Ape would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Lamb sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied vigorously.