Miss Kitty And The New Neighbor

Miss Kitty lived on a mountainside in a cardboard box made of old bones. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover crumb cake, when she heard a knock at the door.

She staggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Boa constrictor standing there, her hands on her jaw. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Boa constrictor," Miss Kitty reasoned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," declared Mrs. Boa constrictor. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" squealed Miss Kitty hastily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Cuba libre?"

"I can't stay," drawled Mrs. Boa constrictor. I just want to ask you what you think of the rhinoceros that's come to the mountainside.

"I really don't know," bragged Miss Kitty. "I didn't know about any rhinoceros. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," lectured Mrs. Boa constrictor slowly. "I heard that this rhinoceros likes to unlock bird feeders."

"Um, I don't know what to say," smiled Miss Kitty, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Boa constrictor, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountainside when we get a lot of rhinoceroses unlocking bird feeders?"

"I can't imagine," guessed Miss Kitty.

"What are we going to do about it?" peeped Mrs. Boa constrictor.

"Appoint a committee?" fretted Miss Kitty, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Boa constrictor had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Boa constrictor nimbly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," voiced Miss Kitty vacantly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Boa constrictor doubtfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," spewed Miss Kitty gingerly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the bookcase on her front porch, looking out over the mountainside and inhaling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Boa constrictor. Do come again."

"Just a minute," squawked Mrs. Boa constrictor primly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Kitty thought she had answered, and was beginning to get lazy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Boa constrictor doing these days?"

Mrs. Boa constrictor would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Kitty sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied breathlessly.