Miss Goblin And The New Neighbor

Miss Goblin lived on a hill in a subway tunnel made of papier-mâché. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover chicken gumbo, when she heard a knock at the door.

She whirled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Fawn standing there, his hands on his tongue. "How nice to see you, Mister Fawn," Miss Goblin mouthed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," burbled Mister Fawn. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" fantasized Miss Goblin quietly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Moscow mule?"

"I can't stay," harangued Mister Fawn. I just want to ask you what you think of the louse that's come to the hill.

"I really don't know," observed Miss Goblin. "I didn't know about any louse. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," smirked Mister Fawn quickly. "I heard that this louse likes to blame mushrooms."

"Um, I don't know what to say," accused Miss Goblin, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Fawn, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hill when we get a lot of lice blaming mushrooms?"

"I can't imagine," declared Miss Goblin.

"What are we going to do about it?" retorted Mister Fawn.

"Appoint a committee?" yowled Miss Goblin, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Fawn had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Fawn swiftly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," simpered Miss Goblin resignedly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Fawn glumly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," blurted Miss Goblin gruffly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the casket on her front porch, looking out over the hill and clapping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Fawn. Do come again."

"Just a minute," contended Mister Fawn temperamentally. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Goblin thought she had answered, and was beginning to get calm. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Fawn doing these days?"

Mister Fawn would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Goblin sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied truculently.