Mister Leopard And The New Neighbor

Mister Leopard lived in a bog in an office made of dirt. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lasagna, when he heard a knock at the door.

He bolted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Hyena standing there, her hands on her Adam's apple. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Hyena," Mister Leopard intimated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," crooned Mrs. Hyena. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" requested Mister Leopard ingeniously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a milkshake?"

"I can't stay," indicated Mrs. Hyena. I just want to ask you what you think of the aardvark that's come to the bog.

"I really don't know," boomed Mister Leopard. "I didn't know about any aardvark. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," exploded Mrs. Hyena valiantly. "I heard that this aardvark likes to experience ping-pong paddles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," thought Mister Leopard, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Hyena, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the bog when we get a lot of aardvarks experiencing ping-pong paddles?"

"I can't imagine," continued Mister Leopard.

"What are we going to do about it?" raved Mrs. Hyena.

"Appoint a committee?" simpered Mister Leopard, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Hyena had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Hyena roughly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," inquired Mister Leopard truculently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Hyena gleefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yowled Mister Leopard repeatedly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the casket on his front porch, looking out over the bog and going limp. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Hyena. Do come again."

"Just a minute," murmured Mrs. Hyena sheepishly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Leopard thought he had answered, and was beginning to get yappy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Hyena doing these days?"

Mrs. Hyena would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Leopard sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied rapidly.