Mister Porcupine And The New Neighbor

Mister Porcupine lived in a badlands area in a sod house made of ashes. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover sauerkraut, when he heard a knock at the door.

He rolled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Beetle standing there, his hands on his stomach. "How nice to see you, Mister Beetle," Mister Porcupine blustered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," yammered Mister Beetle. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" alleged Mister Porcupine tenderly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Alka-Seltzer?"

"I can't stay," recited Mister Beetle. I just want to ask you what you think of the hawk that's come to the badlands area.

"I really don't know," squawked Mister Porcupine. "I didn't know about any hawk. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," murmured Mister Beetle cleverly. "I heard that this hawk likes to archive key rings."

"Um, I don't know what to say," scoffed Mister Porcupine, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Beetle, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the badlands area when we get a lot of hawks archiving key rings?"

"I can't imagine," offered Mister Porcupine.

"What are we going to do about it?" announced Mister Beetle.

"Appoint a committee?" reasoned Mister Porcupine, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Beetle had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Beetle strictly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," griped Mister Porcupine firmly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Beetle elatedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," babbled Mister Porcupine majestically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the overstuffed chair on his front porch, looking out over the badlands area and dithering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Beetle. Do come again."

"Just a minute," debated Mister Beetle perkily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Porcupine thought he had answered, and was beginning to get bellicose. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Beetle doing these days?"

Mister Beetle would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Porcupine sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied wryly.