Mister Phantom And The New Neighbor

Mister Phantom lived beside a creek in a chateau made of feathers. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover egg rolls, when he heard a knock at the door.

He flew to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Alligator standing there, her hands on her spinal cord. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Alligator," Mister Phantom affirmed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," reasoned Mrs. Alligator. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" declaimed Mister Phantom sweetly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of bouillon?"

"I can't stay," comforted Mrs. Alligator. I just want to ask you what you think of the hog that's come to the creek.

"I really don't know," spat Mister Phantom. "I didn't know about any hog. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," hollered Mrs. Alligator lamely. "I heard that this hog likes to wash antennas."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sobbed Mister Phantom, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Alligator, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the creek when we get a lot of hogs washing antennas?"

"I can't imagine," lectured Mister Phantom.

"What are we going to do about it?" barked Mrs. Alligator.

"Appoint a committee?" wondered Mister Phantom, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Alligator had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Alligator tensely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," panted Mister Phantom cautiously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Alligator quietly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," yelled Mister Phantom intensely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the counter on his front porch, looking out over the creek and bleeding. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Alligator. Do come again."

"Just a minute," observed Mrs. Alligator despondently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Phantom thought he had answered, and was beginning to get dapper. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Alligator doing these days?"

Mrs. Alligator would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Phantom sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied nervously.