Mister Goat And The New Neighbor

Mister Goat lived in a landfill in a wikiup made of Tyvek. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover tacos, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tumbled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Pigeon standing there, her hands on her abdomen. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Pigeon," Mister Goat accused, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," urged Mrs. Pigeon. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" spoke up Mister Goat lightly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a painkiller?"

"I can't stay," instructed Mrs. Pigeon. I just want to ask you what you think of the badger that's come to the landfill.

"I really don't know," queried Mister Goat. "I didn't know about any badger. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sneered Mrs. Pigeon gracefully. "I heard that this badger likes to demolish napkins."

"Um, I don't know what to say," fretted Mister Goat, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Pigeon, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the landfill when we get a lot of badgers demolishing napkins?"

"I can't imagine," sniveled Mister Goat.

"What are we going to do about it?" enunciated Mrs. Pigeon.

"Appoint a committee?" worried Mister Goat, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Pigeon had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Pigeon cleverly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," insisted Mister Goat silently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Pigeon reluctantly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," contended Mister Goat defiantly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bed on his front porch, looking out over the landfill and breathing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Pigeon. Do come again."

"Just a minute," cajoled Mrs. Pigeon clumsily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Goat thought he had answered, and was beginning to get polite. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Pigeon doing these days?"

Mrs. Pigeon would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Goat sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied wearily.