Miss Jaguar And The New Neighbor

Miss Jaguar lived at a dump in a church made of brass. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover strawberry shortcake, when she heard a knock at the door.

She stalked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Worm standing there, his hands on his buttocks. "How nice to see you, Mister Worm," Miss Jaguar mouthed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," sighed Mister Worm. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" concluded Miss Jaguar crazily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Mojito?"

"I can't stay," amended Mister Worm. I just want to ask you what you think of the brine shrimp that's come to the dump.

"I really don't know," chattered Miss Jaguar. "I didn't know about any brine shrimp. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," mumbled Mister Worm energetically. "I heard that this brine shrimp likes to mark pacifiers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," added Miss Jaguar, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Worm, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dump when we get a lot of brine shrimp marking pacifiers?"

"I can't imagine," tittered Miss Jaguar.

"What are we going to do about it?" prattled Mister Worm.

"Appoint a committee?" informed Miss Jaguar, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Worm had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Worm crossly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," warbled Miss Jaguar crankily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Worm coldly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sobbed Miss Jaguar bitterly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the hammock on her front porch, looking out over the dump and crying. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Worm. Do come again."

"Just a minute," intoned Mister Worm suspiciously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Jaguar thought she had answered, and was beginning to get confident. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Worm doing these days?"

Mister Worm would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Jaguar sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied noisily.