Miss Lobster And The New Neighbor

Miss Lobster lived at a seashore in a KOA Kampground made of Spanish moss. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover French fries, when she heard a knock at the door.

She jumped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Polecat standing there, her hands on her carotid artery. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Polecat," Miss Lobster recited, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," rambled Mrs. Polecat. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" blubbered Miss Lobster dubiously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Bacardi?"

"I can't stay," hollered Mrs. Polecat. I just want to ask you what you think of the parrot that's come to the seashore.

"I really don't know," chimed Miss Lobster. "I didn't know about any parrot. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," analyzed Mrs. Polecat cleverly. "I heard that this parrot likes to catch pencil sharpeners."

"Um, I don't know what to say," blurted Miss Lobster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Polecat, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the seashore when we get a lot of parrots catching pencil sharpeners?"

"I can't imagine," peeped Miss Lobster.

"What are we going to do about it?" crooned Mrs. Polecat.

"Appoint a committee?" howled Miss Lobster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Polecat had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Polecat nicely. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," recited Miss Lobster blankly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Polecat fiercely. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," bellowed Miss Lobster accidentally, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the rug on her front porch, looking out over the seashore and passing out. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Polecat. Do come again."

"Just a minute," chanted Mrs. Polecat boisterously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Lobster thought she had answered, and was beginning to get shiftless. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Polecat doing these days?"

Mrs. Polecat would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Lobster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied admiringly.