Mister Ape And The New Neighbor

Mister Ape lived in a countryside in a barracks made of pipe. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover apple pie, when he heard a knock at the door.

He darted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Whale standing there, his hands on his tummy. "How nice to see you, Mister Whale," Mister Ape belched, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," chattered Mister Whale. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" murmured Mister Ape wildly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Brandy Alexander?"

"I can't stay," sniffed Mister Whale. I just want to ask you what you think of the leopard that's come to the countryside.

"I really don't know," urged Mister Ape. "I didn't know about any leopard. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sneered Mister Whale busily. "I heard that this leopard likes to jab crackers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," professed Mister Ape, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Whale, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the countryside when we get a lot of leopards jabbing crackers?"

"I can't imagine," reasoned Mister Ape.

"What are we going to do about it?" lamented Mister Whale.

"Appoint a committee?" revealed Mister Ape, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Whale had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Whale peevishly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," decided Mister Ape primly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Whale resignedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," spat Mister Ape coolly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cash register on his front porch, looking out over the countryside and meditating. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Whale. Do come again."

"Just a minute," shrieked Mister Whale irritably. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ape thought he had answered, and was beginning to get self-assured. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Whale doing these days?"

Mister Whale would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ape sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied lamely.