Miss Teddy Bear And The New Neighbor

Miss Teddy bear lived in a park in a Victorian mansion made of spandex. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pie a la mode, when she heard a knock at the door.

She stalked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Quail standing there, his hands on his fingernail. "How nice to see you, Mister Quail," Miss Teddy bear bawled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," comforted Mister Quail. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" alleged Miss Teddy bear cunningly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Irish Coffee?"

"I can't stay," provoked Mister Quail. I just want to ask you what you think of the iguana that's come to the park.

"I really don't know," yowled Miss Teddy bear. "I didn't know about any iguana. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," interrupted Mister Quail threateningly. "I heard that this iguana likes to prod cigarettes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," fantasized Miss Teddy bear, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Quail, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the park when we get a lot of iguanas prodding cigarettes?"

"I can't imagine," grieved Miss Teddy bear.

"What are we going to do about it?" ranted Mister Quail.

"Appoint a committee?" yelped Miss Teddy bear, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Quail had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Quail victoriously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," groaned Miss Teddy bear oddly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Quail cleverly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," reasoned Miss Teddy bear cunningly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the carpet on her front porch, looking out over the park and sniffling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Quail. Do come again."

"Just a minute," piped up Mister Quail cruelly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Teddy bear thought she had answered, and was beginning to get tactful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Quail doing these days?"

Mister Quail would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Teddy bear sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied briskly.