Miss Reindeer And The New Neighbor

Miss Reindeer lived on a plateau in a cave made of hair. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prune pudding, when she heard a knock at the door.

She trotted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Ass standing there, her hands on her tongue. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Ass," Miss Reindeer howled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," screamed Mrs. Ass. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" groveled Miss Reindeer caustically, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a painkiller?"

"I can't stay," gabbed Mrs. Ass. I just want to ask you what you think of the groundhog that's come to the plateau.

"I really don't know," piped up Miss Reindeer. "I didn't know about any groundhog. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," groveled Mrs. Ass trustingly. "I heard that this groundhog likes to overturn avocados."

"Um, I don't know what to say," roared Miss Reindeer, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Ass, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plateau when we get a lot of groundhogs overturning avocados?"

"I can't imagine," quoted Miss Reindeer.

"What are we going to do about it?" urged Mrs. Ass.

"Appoint a committee?" hollered Miss Reindeer, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Ass had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Ass dreamily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," noted Miss Reindeer zestily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Ass lightly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," jeered Miss Reindeer needlessly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the cushion on her front porch, looking out over the plateau and breathing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Ass. Do come again."

"Just a minute," contended Mrs. Ass trustingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Reindeer thought she had answered, and was beginning to get gentle. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Ass doing these days?"

Mrs. Ass would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Reindeer sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied slyly.