Mister Louse And The New Neighbor

Mister Louse lived on a battlefield in a wikiup made of matchsticks. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover succotash, when he heard a knock at the door.

He staggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Cockatiel standing there, his hands on his knuckle. "How nice to see you, Mister Cockatiel," Mister Louse continued, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," debated Mister Cockatiel. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" laughed Mister Louse brightly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cambric tea?"

"I can't stay," fumed Mister Cockatiel. I just want to ask you what you think of the tapeworm that's come to the battlefield.

"I really don't know," grieved Mister Louse. "I didn't know about any tapeworm. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," winked Mister Cockatiel coldly. "I heard that this tapeworm likes to burn pairs of dice."

"Um, I don't know what to say," quoted Mister Louse, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cockatiel, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the battlefield when we get a lot of tapeworms burning pairs of dice?"

"I can't imagine," stated Mister Louse.

"What are we going to do about it?" moaned Mister Cockatiel.

"Appoint a committee?" hollered Mister Louse, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cockatiel had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cockatiel quickly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," urged Mister Louse boldly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cockatiel glumly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," chortled Mister Louse caustically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the safe on his front porch, looking out over the battlefield and murmuring. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cockatiel. Do come again."

"Just a minute," orated Mister Cockatiel automatically. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Louse thought he had answered, and was beginning to get coy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cockatiel doing these days?"

Mister Cockatiel would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Louse sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied hungrily.