Miss Lizard And The New Neighbor

Miss Lizard lived at a lakeside in a hotel made of thatch. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prune pudding, when she heard a knock at the door.

She leapt to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Gnu standing there, her hands on her carotid artery. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Gnu," Miss Lizard enunciated, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," moaned Mrs. Gnu. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" trumpeted Miss Lizard calmly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of tomato juice?"

"I can't stay," uttered Mrs. Gnu. I just want to ask you what you think of the buffalo that's come to the lakeside.

"I really don't know," called Miss Lizard. "I didn't know about any buffalo. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," smiled Mrs. Gnu hastily. "I heard that this buffalo likes to burn peaches."

"Um, I don't know what to say," declared Miss Lizard, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Gnu, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the lakeside when we get a lot of buffalo burning peaches?"

"I can't imagine," sputtered Miss Lizard.

"What are we going to do about it?" screeched Mrs. Gnu.

"Appoint a committee?" quoted Miss Lizard, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Gnu had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Gnu daintily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," said Miss Lizard frantically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Gnu positively. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," articulated Miss Lizard blankly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the windowsill on her front porch, looking out over the lakeside and pondering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Gnu. Do come again."

"Just a minute," swore Mrs. Gnu doubtfully. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Lizard thought she had answered, and was beginning to get obese. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Gnu doing these days?"

Mrs. Gnu would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Lizard sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied proudly.