Miss Tapeworm And The New Neighbor

Miss Tapeworm lived in a circus tent in a travel trailer made of burlap. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ceviche, when she heard a knock at the door.

She sashayed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Rattlesnake standing there, his hands on his spine. "How nice to see you, Mister Rattlesnake," Miss Tapeworm guessed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," maintained Mister Rattlesnake. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" wept Miss Tapeworm carelessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a fruit smoothie?"

"I can't stay," appealed Mister Rattlesnake. I just want to ask you what you think of the beetle that's come to the circus tent.

"I really don't know," declared Miss Tapeworm. "I didn't know about any beetle. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," tittered Mister Rattlesnake ignobly. "I heard that this beetle likes to catch coffee pots."

"Um, I don't know what to say," continued Miss Tapeworm, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Rattlesnake, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the circus tent when we get a lot of beetles catching coffee pots?"

"I can't imagine," groveled Miss Tapeworm.

"What are we going to do about it?" informed Mister Rattlesnake.

"Appoint a committee?" stammered Miss Tapeworm, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Rattlesnake had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Rattlesnake unnaturally. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," warbled Miss Tapeworm languidly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Rattlesnake doubtfully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," wept Miss Tapeworm thankfully, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the coffee table on her front porch, looking out over the circus tent and trembling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Rattlesnake. Do come again."

"Just a minute," babbled Mister Rattlesnake anxiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Tapeworm thought she had answered, and was beginning to get sleek. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Rattlesnake doing these days?"

Mister Rattlesnake would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Tapeworm sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied testily.