Mister Goldfish And The New Neighbor

Mister Goldfish lived on a hill in a housing project made of hay. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prime rib, when he heard a knock at the door.

He galloped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Iguana standing there, her hands on her ear. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Iguana," Mister Goldfish smirked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," interpreted Mrs. Iguana. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" demanded Mister Goldfish nicely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," inquired Mrs. Iguana. I just want to ask you what you think of the moose that's come to the hill.

"I really don't know," bragged Mister Goldfish. "I didn't know about any moose. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," cajoled Mrs. Iguana brightly. "I heard that this moose likes to wrap beach balls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," wailed Mister Goldfish, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Iguana, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the hill when we get a lot of moose wrapping beach balls?"

"I can't imagine," proposed Mister Goldfish.

"What are we going to do about it?" chortled Mrs. Iguana.

"Appoint a committee?" peeped Mister Goldfish, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Iguana had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Iguana courageously. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spoke up Mister Goldfish wearily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Iguana solemnly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," stated Mister Goldfish properly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the hamper on his front porch, looking out over the hill and coming to. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Iguana. Do come again."

"Just a minute," provoked Mrs. Iguana queerly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Goldfish thought he had answered, and was beginning to get sketchy. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Iguana doing these days?"

Mrs. Iguana would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Goldfish sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied softly.