Mister Gila Monster And The New Neighbor

Mister Gila monster lived in a backyard in a closet made of bronze. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover oatmeal, when he heard a knock at the door.

He capered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Eagle standing there, his hands on his thumb. "How nice to see you, Mister Eagle," Mister Gila monster reminded, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," boasted Mister Eagle. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" murmured Mister Gila monster briskly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a sarsaparilla?"

"I can't stay," bragged Mister Eagle. I just want to ask you what you think of the dachshund that's come to the backyard.

"I really don't know," panted Mister Gila monster. "I didn't know about any dachshund. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," hinted Mister Eagle sheepishly. "I heard that this dachshund likes to prune salt shakers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," yelped Mister Gila monster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Eagle, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the backyard when we get a lot of dachshunds pruning salt shakers?"

"I can't imagine," boomed Mister Gila monster.

"What are we going to do about it?" reacted Mister Eagle.

"Appoint a committee?" intimated Mister Gila monster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Eagle had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Eagle roughly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," growled Mister Gila monster awkwardly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Eagle peevishly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," exclaimed Mister Gila monster majestically, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bench on his front porch, looking out over the backyard and screaming. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Eagle. Do come again."

"Just a minute," blubbered Mister Eagle patiently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Gila monster thought he had answered, and was beginning to get frantic. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Eagle doing these days?"

Mister Eagle would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Gila monster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied daringly.