Miss Pigeon And The New Neighbor

Miss Pigeon lived beside a river in a duplex made of rock. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover beans, when she heard a knock at the door.

She dove to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Ostrich standing there, her hands on her nostril. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Ostrich," Miss Pigeon sniveled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," hollered Mrs. Ostrich. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" bragged Miss Pigeon gratefully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of champagne?"

"I can't stay," enunciated Mrs. Ostrich. I just want to ask you what you think of the snipe that's come to the river.

"I really don't know," yelped Miss Pigeon. "I didn't know about any snipe. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," jeered Mrs. Ostrich nimbly. "I heard that this snipe likes to throw umbrellas."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sobbed Miss Pigeon, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Ostrich, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the river when we get a lot of snipes throwing umbrellas?"

"I can't imagine," avowed Miss Pigeon.

"What are we going to do about it?" exclaimed Mrs. Ostrich.

"Appoint a committee?" explained Miss Pigeon, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Ostrich had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Ostrich strictly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," instructed Miss Pigeon innocently, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Ostrich caustically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," winked Miss Pigeon resignedly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the pool table on her front porch, looking out over the river and leering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Ostrich. Do come again."

"Just a minute," roared Mrs. Ostrich primly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Pigeon thought she had answered, and was beginning to get repulsive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Ostrich doing these days?"

Mrs. Ostrich would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Pigeon sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied sweetly.