Mister Eel And The New Neighbor

Mister Eel lived in a marsh in a subway tunnel made of cardboard. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover hash, when he heard a knock at the door.

He traipsed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Hyena standing there, her hands on her chest. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Hyena," Mister Eel mumbled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," roared Mrs. Hyena. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" snorted Mister Eel flightily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," announced Mrs. Hyena. I just want to ask you what you think of the teddy bear that's come to the marsh.

"I really don't know," avowed Mister Eel. "I didn't know about any teddy bear. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," babbled Mrs. Hyena immediately. "I heard that this teddy bear likes to twist fish bowls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," began Mister Eel, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Hyena, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the marsh when we get a lot of teddy bears twisting fish bowls?"

"I can't imagine," noted Mister Eel.

"What are we going to do about it?" crooned Mrs. Hyena.

"Appoint a committee?" hinted Mister Eel, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Hyena had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Hyena happily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," acknowledged Mister Eel noisily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Hyena numbly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," retorted Mister Eel delicately, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the armoire on his front porch, looking out over the marsh and hiccuping. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Hyena. Do come again."

"Just a minute," griped Mrs. Hyena quickly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Eel thought he had answered, and was beginning to get conscientious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Hyena doing these days?"

Mrs. Hyena would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Eel sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied suavely.