Mister Lizard And The New Neighbor

Mister Lizard lived in a village in an igloo made of taffeta. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover applesauce, when he heard a knock at the door.

He darted to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Rhinoceros standing there, her hands on her cheek. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Rhinoceros," Mister Lizard called, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," demanded Mrs. Rhinoceros. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" demanded Mister Lizard cunningly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Cuba libre?"

"I can't stay," implored Mrs. Rhinoceros. I just want to ask you what you think of the oyster that's come to the village.

"I really don't know," lectured Mister Lizard. "I didn't know about any oyster. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," bellowed Mrs. Rhinoceros resignedly. "I heard that this oyster likes to feel Rubik's cubes."

"Um, I don't know what to say," cackled Mister Lizard, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Rhinoceros, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the village when we get a lot of oysters feeling Rubik's cubes?"

"I can't imagine," squawked Mister Lizard.

"What are we going to do about it?" asked Mrs. Rhinoceros.

"Appoint a committee?" conversed Mister Lizard, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Rhinoceros had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Rhinoceros crankily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," revealed Mister Lizard jokingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Rhinoceros hopefully. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," panted Mister Lizard gleefully, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cash register on his front porch, looking out over the village and cringing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Rhinoceros. Do come again."

"Just a minute," murmured Mrs. Rhinoceros admiringly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Lizard thought he had answered, and was beginning to get annoying. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Rhinoceros doing these days?"

Mrs. Rhinoceros would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Lizard sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied grudgingly.