Mister Tarantula And The New Neighbor

Mister Tarantula lived at a dump in a trough made of rubble. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover shrimp, when he heard a knock at the door.

He flounced to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Airedale standing there, his hands on his gut. "How nice to see you, Mister Airedale," Mister Tarantula emphasized, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," alleged Mister Airedale. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" stammered Mister Tarantula lamely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a piña colada?"

"I can't stay," spouted Mister Airedale. I just want to ask you what you think of the cheetah that's come to the dump.

"I really don't know," retorted Mister Tarantula. "I didn't know about any cheetah. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," moaned Mister Airedale needlessly. "I heard that this cheetah likes to modify bottles."

"Um, I don't know what to say," offered Mister Tarantula, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Airedale, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the dump when we get a lot of cheetahs modifying bottles?"

"I can't imagine," interpreted Mister Tarantula.

"What are we going to do about it?" brought up Mister Airedale.

"Appoint a committee?" invited Mister Tarantula, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Airedale had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Airedale unnaturally. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," exclaimed Mister Tarantula demurely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Airedale elatedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," pleaded Mister Tarantula shakily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the cushion on his front porch, looking out over the dump and calming down. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Airedale. Do come again."

"Just a minute," winked Mister Airedale suspiciously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Tarantula thought he had answered, and was beginning to get brash. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Airedale doing these days?"

Mister Airedale would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Tarantula sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied surreptitiously.