Mister Hedgehog And The New Neighbor

Mister Hedgehog lived on a seacoast in a flat made of beeswax. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover oatmeal, when he heard a knock at the door.

He flew to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Crab standing there, her hands on her eyelash. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Crab," Mister Hedgehog reasoned, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," babbled Mrs. Crab. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" interpreted Mister Hedgehog nervously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cosmopolitan?"

"I can't stay," boomed Mrs. Crab. I just want to ask you what you think of the cockatiel that's come to the seacoast.

"I really don't know," stormed Mister Hedgehog. "I didn't know about any cockatiel. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," chattered Mrs. Crab wearily. "I heard that this cockatiel likes to protect cans of beer."

"Um, I don't know what to say," spoke up Mister Hedgehog, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Crab, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the seacoast when we get a lot of cockatiels protecting cans of beer?"

"I can't imagine," inquired Mister Hedgehog.

"What are we going to do about it?" sniped Mrs. Crab.

"Appoint a committee?" roared Mister Hedgehog, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Crab had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Crab narrowly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," wondered Mister Hedgehog pityingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Crab caustically. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," grieved Mister Hedgehog lickety-split, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the coffee table on his front porch, looking out over the seacoast and raising an eyebrow. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Crab. Do come again."

"Just a minute," fantasized Mrs. Crab awkwardly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Hedgehog thought he had answered, and was beginning to get gentle. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Crab doing these days?"

Mrs. Crab would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Hedgehog sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied positively.