Mister Cow And The New Neighbor

Mister Cow lived in a rainforest in a studio made of bronze. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lasagna, when he heard a knock at the door.

He swaggered to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Fawn standing there, her hands on her midriff. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Fawn," Mister Cow rumored, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," questioned Mrs. Fawn. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" chimed Mister Cow sternly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a sarsaparilla?"

"I can't stay," groveled Mrs. Fawn. I just want to ask you what you think of the owl that's come to the rainforest.

"I really don't know," orated Mister Cow. "I didn't know about any owl. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," sobbed Mrs. Fawn nonchalantly. "I heard that this owl likes to grind washrags."

"Um, I don't know what to say," grieved Mister Cow, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Fawn, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the rainforest when we get a lot of owls grinding washrags?"

"I can't imagine," breathed Mister Cow.

"What are we going to do about it?" realized Mrs. Fawn.

"Appoint a committee?" bawled Mister Cow, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Fawn had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Fawn glibly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," continued Mister Cow strangely, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Fawn quietly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," voiced Mister Cow flightily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the overstuffed chair on his front porch, looking out over the rainforest and bleeding. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Fawn. Do come again."

"Just a minute," groveled Mrs. Fawn delicately. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Cow thought he had answered, and was beginning to get weird. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Fawn doing these days?"

Mrs. Fawn would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Cow sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied surreptitiously.