Mister Spider And The New Neighbor

Mister Spider lived on a mountaintop in a monastery made of leaves and twigs. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover squash blossom soup, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slumped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Gerbil standing there, his hands on his spleen. "How nice to see you, Mister Gerbil," Mister Spider pronounced, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," declaimed Mister Gerbil. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" hollered Mister Spider suspiciously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you an Irish Coffee?"

"I can't stay," announced Mister Gerbil. I just want to ask you what you think of the raccoon that's come to the mountaintop.

"I really don't know," ranted Mister Spider. "I didn't know about any raccoon. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," contended Mister Gerbil suavely. "I heard that this raccoon likes to hook fishing rods."

"Um, I don't know what to say," worried Mister Spider, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Gerbil, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountaintop when we get a lot of raccoons hooking fishing rods?"

"I can't imagine," reacted Mister Spider.

"What are we going to do about it?" bragged Mister Gerbil.

"Appoint a committee?" instructed Mister Spider, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Gerbil had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Gerbil accidentally. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," whined Mister Spider trustingly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Gerbil nervously. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," griped Mister Spider perkily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the four-poster bed on his front porch, looking out over the mountaintop and backing down. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Gerbil. Do come again."

"Just a minute," decided Mister Gerbil furiously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Spider thought he had answered, and was beginning to get radiant. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Gerbil doing these days?"

Mister Gerbil would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Spider sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied shakily.