Mister Jaguar And The New Neighbor

Mister Jaguar lived alongside a stream in a chateau made of felt. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover moo goo gai pan, when he heard a knock at the door.

He trekked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Reindeer standing there, her hands on her fingernail. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Reindeer," Mister Jaguar interrupted, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," rebutted Mrs. Reindeer. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" bellowed Mister Jaguar quickly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a cup of Sanka?"

"I can't stay," maintained Mrs. Reindeer. I just want to ask you what you think of the hog that's come to the stream.

"I really don't know," screeched Mister Jaguar. "I didn't know about any hog. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," answered Mrs. Reindeer shakily. "I heard that this hog likes to swipe cell phones."

"Um, I don't know what to say," mused Mister Jaguar, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Reindeer, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the stream when we get a lot of hogs swiping cell phones?"

"I can't imagine," shrieked Mister Jaguar.

"What are we going to do about it?" responded Mrs. Reindeer.

"Appoint a committee?" boasted Mister Jaguar, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Reindeer had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Reindeer peevishly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," worried Mister Jaguar firmly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Reindeer peevishly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," quoted Mister Jaguar nimbly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the overstuffed chair on his front porch, looking out over the stream and grunting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Reindeer. Do come again."

"Just a minute," rationalized Mrs. Reindeer joyously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Jaguar thought he had answered, and was beginning to get fiendish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Reindeer doing these days?"

Mrs. Reindeer would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Jaguar sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied gratefully.