Mister Jackal And The New Neighbor

Mister Jackal lived on a mountain in a housing project made of brick. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pie a la mode, when he heard a knock at the door.

He sailed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Antelope standing there, his hands on his bladder. "How nice to see you, Mister Antelope," Mister Jackal sniffed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," professed Mister Antelope. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" demanded Mister Jackal steadily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a soda?"

"I can't stay," panted Mister Antelope. I just want to ask you what you think of the elephant that's come to the mountain.

"I really don't know," shouted Mister Jackal. "I didn't know about any elephant. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," harangued Mister Antelope suavely. "I heard that this elephant likes to expose thumb drives."

"Um, I don't know what to say," winked Mister Jackal, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Antelope, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the mountain when we get a lot of elephants exposing thumb drives?"

"I can't imagine," appealed Mister Jackal.

"What are we going to do about it?" gabbed Mister Antelope.

"Appoint a committee?" screeched Mister Jackal, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Antelope had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Antelope urgently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," divulged Mister Jackal madly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Antelope sourly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," indicated Mister Jackal crossly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the bed on his front porch, looking out over the mountain and throwing up. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Antelope. Do come again."

"Just a minute," tittered Mister Antelope threateningly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Jackal thought he had answered, and was beginning to get stylish. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Antelope doing these days?"

Mister Antelope would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Jackal sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied majestically.