Mister Ape And The New Neighbor

Mister Ape lived on a plateau in an office made of fur. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ravioli, when he heard a knock at the door.

He ambled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Ant standing there, his hands on his hand. "How nice to see you, Mister Ant," Mister Ape provoked, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," intoned Mister Ant. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" questioned Mister Ape nimbly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," babbled Mister Ant. I just want to ask you what you think of the frog that's come to the plateau.

"I really don't know," grieved Mister Ape. "I didn't know about any frog. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," wondered Mister Ant despondently. "I heard that this frog likes to develop apples."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sniveled Mister Ape, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Ant, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the plateau when we get a lot of frogs developing apples?"

"I can't imagine," trumpeted Mister Ape.

"What are we going to do about it?" chattered Mister Ant.

"Appoint a committee?" observed Mister Ape, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Ant had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Ant vacantly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," chuckled Mister Ape irritably, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Ant patiently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," mouthed Mister Ape immediately, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the catbird seat on his front porch, looking out over the plateau and knitting. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Ant. Do come again."

"Just a minute," bawled Mister Ant excitedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Ape thought he had answered, and was beginning to get precocious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Ant doing these days?"

Mister Ant would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Ape sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied neatly.