Mister Phantom And The New Neighbor

Mister Phantom lived on a trail in a loft made of chocolate. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover succotash, when he heard a knock at the door.

He slunk to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Chicken standing there, her hands on her bicep. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Chicken," Mister Phantom sputtered, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," pleaded Mrs. Chicken. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" conversed Mister Phantom nervously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of bourbon?"

"I can't stay," purred Mrs. Chicken. I just want to ask you what you think of the crocodile that's come to the trail.

"I really don't know," preached Mister Phantom. "I didn't know about any crocodile. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," jeered Mrs. Chicken sharply. "I heard that this crocodile likes to reject pictures."

"Um, I don't know what to say," roared Mister Phantom, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Chicken, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the trail when we get a lot of crocodiles rejecting pictures?"

"I can't imagine," protested Mister Phantom.

"What are we going to do about it?" maintained Mrs. Chicken.

"Appoint a committee?" conversed Mister Phantom, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Chicken had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Chicken slyly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," protested Mister Phantom nervously, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Chicken diligently. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," intoned Mister Phantom resignedly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the settee on his front porch, looking out over the trail and chortling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Chicken. Do come again."

"Just a minute," yawned Mrs. Chicken warily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Phantom thought he had answered, and was beginning to get dreadful. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Chicken doing these days?"

Mrs. Chicken would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Phantom sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied hopefully.