Mister Brine Shrimp And The New Neighbor

Mister Brine shrimp lived in a field in an apartment made of antimatter. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover wienerschnitzel, when he heard a knock at the door.

He lurched to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Hornet standing there, her hands on her midriff. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Hornet," Mister Brine shrimp queried, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," jeered Mrs. Hornet. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" intoned Mister Brine shrimp stealthily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a margarita?"

"I can't stay," responded Mrs. Hornet. I just want to ask you what you think of the cow that's come to the field.

"I really don't know," griped Mister Brine shrimp. "I didn't know about any cow. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," amended Mrs. Hornet cleverly. "I heard that this cow likes to gold plate stacks of papers."

"Um, I don't know what to say," exploded Mister Brine shrimp, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Hornet, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the field when we get a lot of cows gold plating stacks of papers?"

"I can't imagine," hinted Mister Brine shrimp.

"What are we going to do about it?" explained Mrs. Hornet.

"Appoint a committee?" conversed Mister Brine shrimp, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Hornet had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Hornet frantically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," panted Mister Brine shrimp hastily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Hornet firmly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," questioned Mister Brine shrimp unexpectedly, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the file cabinet on his front porch, looking out over the field and meowing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Hornet. Do come again."

"Just a minute," grunted Mrs. Hornet lazily. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Brine shrimp thought he had answered, and was beginning to get enraged. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Hornet doing these days?"

Mrs. Hornet would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Brine shrimp sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied firmly.