Mister Goose And The New Neighbor

Mister Goose lived on a range in a quonset hut made of titanium. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover crab rangoon, when he heard a knock at the door.

He careened to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Dalmatian standing there, her hands on her shin. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Dalmatian," Mister Goose rambled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," intoned Mrs. Dalmatian. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" admitted Mister Goose suspiciously, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of milk?"

"I can't stay," tittered Mrs. Dalmatian. I just want to ask you what you think of the airedale that's come to the range.

"I really don't know," demanded Mister Goose. "I didn't know about any airedale. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," cried Mrs. Dalmatian confidently. "I heard that this airedale likes to decorate bullets."

"Um, I don't know what to say," wailed Mister Goose, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Dalmatian, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the range when we get a lot of airedales decorating bullets?"

"I can't imagine," boasted Mister Goose.

"What are we going to do about it?" rationalized Mrs. Dalmatian.

"Appoint a committee?" vouched Mister Goose, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Dalmatian had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Dalmatian hopelessly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," concluded Mister Goose hopelessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Dalmatian resignedly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," mouthed Mister Goose nicely, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the chest of drawers on his front porch, looking out over the range and laughing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Dalmatian. Do come again."

"Just a minute," belched Mrs. Dalmatian grudgingly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Goose thought he had answered, and was beginning to get gregarious. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Dalmatian doing these days?"

Mrs. Dalmatian would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Goose sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied sorrowfully.