Mister Cougar And The New Neighbor

Mister Cougar lived in a cornfield in a stinky shack made of moss. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover lobster, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tore to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mister Newt standing there, his hands on his bicep. "How nice to see you, Mister Newt," Mister Cougar cajoled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," vouched Mister Newt. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" roared Mister Cougar zestily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a soda?"

"I can't stay," grieved Mister Newt. I just want to ask you what you think of the hornet that's come to the cornfield.

"I really don't know," trumpeted Mister Cougar. "I didn't know about any hornet. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," tittered Mister Newt nonchalantly. "I heard that this hornet likes to submerse bags of popcorn."

"Um, I don't know what to say," pronounced Mister Cougar, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Newt, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the cornfield when we get a lot of hornets submersing bags of popcorn?"

"I can't imagine," cried Mister Cougar.

"What are we going to do about it?" harangued Mister Newt.

"Appoint a committee?" wailed Mister Cougar, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Newt had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Newt urgently. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," wondered Mister Cougar speedily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Newt sheepishly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," interpreted Mister Cougar sleepily, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the desk on his front porch, looking out over the cornfield and squeaking. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Newt. Do come again."

"Just a minute," requested Mister Newt accidentally. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Cougar thought he had answered, and was beginning to get demented. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Newt doing these days?"

Mister Newt would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Cougar sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied cautiously.