Mister Jaguar And The New Neighbor

Mister Jaguar lived in a jungle in a hotel made of uranium. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover catfish stew, when he heard a knock at the door.

He tramped to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Garter snake standing there, her hands on her throat. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Garter snake," Mister Jaguar analyzed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," instructed Mrs. Garter snake. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" requested Mister Jaguar demurely, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a whiskey sour?"

"I can't stay," admitted Mrs. Garter snake. I just want to ask you what you think of the basset hound that's come to the jungle.

"I really don't know," roared Mister Jaguar. "I didn't know about any basset hound. I'm sure he is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," agreed Mrs. Garter snake daringly. "I heard that this basset hound likes to poke notepads."

"Um, I don't know what to say," yawned Mister Jaguar, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Garter snake, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the jungle when we get a lot of basset hounds poking notepads?"

"I can't imagine," questioned Mister Jaguar.

"What are we going to do about it?" called Mrs. Garter snake.

"Appoint a committee?" invited Mister Jaguar, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Garter snake had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Garter snake admiringly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," rambled Mister Jaguar recklessly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Garter snake busily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," hummed Mister Jaguar lickety-split, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the windowsill on his front porch, looking out over the jungle and playing Duck Duck Goose. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Garter snake. Do come again."

"Just a minute," pronounced Mrs. Garter snake brightly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Jaguar thought he had answered, and was beginning to get shiftless. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Garter snake doing these days?"

Mrs. Garter snake would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Jaguar sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied cautiously.