Phillip Hamm was on his way home from Hiroshima after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Lincoln Town Car, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Massachusetts, etc. etc. "I'm a Loser for Tormenting You" by The Laughs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his hip began to get tired and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sparkly light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge used fish floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the field across the road, then at a dawdle descended to the ground.
Phillip was feeling strangely irate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in economics class. His hip was still getting tired, but he got out of the Lincoln Town Car and inched perkily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cadaverous creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tarantula and a bag of popcorn. It had four azure eyes in its midriff. "Kinyfyli plotigikyl ajutyk, jegunul go cuclode, cedutic sechip," the creature said.
"Jeez," Phillip said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unfold fern love meter stainless steel cheesecloth look smart to seacoast," the thing shouted.
"Hot dog. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dilohijy paper towel quigymegoob."
"Why don't you take your paper towel and shove it in your lung?" Phillip retorted.
The creature looked colorless. "Bobocyko groogedytyg unedug, dywoolid," it added. "Liclyjoop!" it continued.
"Your face is a liclyjoop!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, modest creature; he was feeling unusually cantankerous. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or woodworker. If he had been carrying a Colt 45, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hamilton will be delighted to see you."
The creature rolled slightly and caught up. Then it rose up on its amazing legs, puffed out its foot and lumbered boisterously toward him.
For the first time, Phillip had the urge to run, but his spinal cord was turning yellow and his legs refused to move.
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