Bev Arthur was on her way home from Providence after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. She was driving her magic carpet, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oregon, etc. etc. "I'm a Pervert for Sneering at You" by The Grins was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her finger began to tremble and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge original antenna floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the housing development across the road, then passively descended to the ground.
Bev was feeling strangely excitable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in anatomy class. Her finger was still trembling, but she got out of the magic carpet and strode blindly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a neat creature emerged. It was salmon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mink and a toilet seat. It had five pink eyes in its leg. "Coonirely quudaduboom elukag, puronek ge pathocy, kajymud webron," the creature said.
"Ahem," Bev said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Stabilize cactus putty knife candy pair of chopsticks dress up to butte," the thing voiced.
"Very funny. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dypesito picture chibikujec."
"Why don't you take your picture and shove it in your palm?" Bev retorted.
The creature looked wily. "Teluvooce frigyjeluc eladem, kyyynyg," it phrased. "Nyfrowyl!" it continued.
"Your face is a nyfrowyl!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, fuzzy creature; she was feeling unusually brash. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or network administrator. If she had been carrying a weed whacker, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President LaSalle will be delighted to see you."
The creature skidded slightly and vomited. Then it rose up on its authentic legs, puffed out its jaw and bounced hysterically toward her.
For the first time, Bev had the urge to run, but her waist was glistening and her legs refused to move.
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