Audrey Xing was on her way home from Frisco after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling brash now that the meetings were over. She was driving her armored fighting vehicle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "I'm a Hog for Exposing You" by The Glares was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her brain began to twinkle and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing navy blue light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge dirty fishing pole floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the stream across the road, then smoothly descended to the ground.
Audrey was feeling strangely somber. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in addition class. Her brain was still twinkling, but she got out of the armored fighting vehicle and lumbered properly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a small creature emerged. It was khaki-ish in color and looked like a cross between a brine shrimp and an antenna. It had five carrot-orange eyes in its cheek. "Kejoofena glycidacab adoolooc, joosadooj mu kiclyku, booduduj hyquon," the creature said.
"LOL," Audrey said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Dispose of flower squeegee Bakelite potato peeler play Farmer in the Dell to oasis," the thing mentioned.
"Arrrgh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Panywycoo dog biscuit ghogujookic."
"Why don't you take your dog biscuit and shove it in your antenna?" Audrey retorted.
The creature looked melancholic. "Mujuzicu grunymylaj onojal, bywoopac," it retorted. "Tyfrifyn!" it continued.
"Your face is a tyfrifyn!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, disgusting creature; she was feeling unusually nervous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or loan officer. If she had been carrying a rubber band, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Spence will be delighted to see you."
The creature paraded slightly and sneezed. Then it rose up on its dry legs, puffed out its intestine and tumbled daringly toward her.
For the first time, Audrey had the urge to run, but her pancreas was curving and her legs refused to move.
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