Billy Meyer was on his way home from Lima after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling fearful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his wheelchair, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Jersey, etc. etc. "I'm a Peabrain for Calling the cops on You" by The Finger guns was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his thigh began to look strange and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aqua light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rusty bird cage floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the neighborhood across the road, then briskly descended to the ground.
Billy was feeling strangely desperate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Samoan class. His thigh was still looking strange, but he got out of the wheelchair and galumphed glibly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a feeble creature emerged. It was olive drab-ish in color and looked like a cross between a worm and a saw. It had seven lime-green eyes in its tummy. "Tidoogikoo ghapucacod oogocuc, myzelop co pybroto, dicynyb cukleb," the creature said.
"Unreal," Billy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Overturn fallen tree love meter mud bricks electric mixer barf to lagoon," the thing urged.
"Ulp. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dyloohala hubcap whikugoopim."
"Why don't you take your hubcap and shove it in your earlobe?" Billy retorted.
The creature looked insane. "Cibofynoo ghoocadetun icegan, pizoomap," it moaned. "Toquayuj!" it continued.
"Your face is a toquayuj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, pigeon-toed creature; he was feeling unusually peckish. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or day care provider. If he had been carrying an accordion, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Eaton will be delighted to see you."
The creature sallied forth slightly and wandered. Then it rose up on its speckled legs, puffed out its tongue and bounced truculently toward him.
For the first time, Billy had the urge to run, but his wig was smelling bad and his legs refused to move.
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