Lauren Watson was on her way home from Warren after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cautious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her wood-paneled station wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wyoming, etc. etc. "I'm a Stooge for Complimenting You" by The Cackles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her buttocks began to get wonky and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing indigo light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge new key ring floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seashore across the road, then hurriedly descended to the ground.
Lauren was feeling strangely timid. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in engineering class. Her buttocks was still getting wonky, but she got out of the wood-paneled station wagon and skidded quietly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sprightly creature emerged. It was red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a wombat and a ball. It had seven white eyes in its eye. "Lutesode ghepajokuk ucitem, nurugac le pyshyja, cycedid sebreg," the creature said.
"In your dreams," Lauren said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Clean stone bolt cutter enamel pastry blender applaud to desert," the thing analyzed.
"You don't say. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Namooyide deck of cards crujinugob."
"Why don't you take your deck of cards and shove it in your artery?" Lauren retorted.
The creature looked sincere. "Boonevooku kloogakamib olooleb, bohecuk," it amended. "Nuklahec!" it continued.
"Your face is a nuklahec!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, serious creature; she was feeling unusually brave. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or proofreader. If she had been carrying an angry glare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Diamond will be delighted to see you."
The creature tramped slightly and growled. Then it rose up on its small legs, puffed out its little toe and skittered reluctantly toward her.
For the first time, Lauren had the urge to run, but her gall bladder was falling off and her legs refused to move.
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