Jean Jordan was on her way home from Hannover after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling desperate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Smart Car, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "I'm an Imposter for Messing with You" by The Giggles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her skull began to get moldy and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing red light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge authentic advertisement floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the swamp across the road, then busily descended to the ground.
Jean was feeling strangely disagreeable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in alchemy class. Her skull was still getting moldy, but she got out of the Smart Car and waddled steadily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an obese creature emerged. It was olive drab-ish in color and looked like a cross between a basset hound and a banana. It had seven white eyes in its adrenal gland. "Lemyzudu clumokejot ukojol, lyvoolym bo pewroonoo, bakydak yiphem," the creature said.
"Poppycock," Jean said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Remember cactus Q-tip slate knife whistle to badlands area," the thing fantasized.
"Drop dead. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nodezeny iPad frimybajij."
"Why don't you take your iPad and shove it in your head?" Jean retorted.
The creature looked elderly. "Bucyvuco krugijanyl umydod, toozidub," it pronounced. "Doowroozun!" it continued.
"Your face is a doowroozun!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, brave creature; she was feeling unusually awkward. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or scoutmaster. If she had been carrying a firecracker, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McGrath will be delighted to see you."
The creature crawled slightly and glared. Then it rose up on its crooked legs, puffed out its leg and cantered crazily toward her.
For the first time, Jean had the urge to run, but her hand was flapping and her legs refused to move.
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