Judy Rutherford was on her way home from Boise after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling awkward now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Porsche 944, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Indiana, etc. etc. "You're a Bonehead for Transforming Me" by The Fist bumps was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her appendix began to darken and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing teal light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ancient rubber chicken floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lagoon across the road, then passively descended to the ground.
Judy was feeling strangely furious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in sociology class. Her appendix was still darkening, but she got out of the Porsche 944 and set out demurely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dashing creature emerged. It was polka dotted-ish in color and looked like a cross between a yeti and a billfold. It had three golden eyes in its funny bone. "Kenevynoo flocutamoom ajutol, dojoocool ma besloce, comydab wootrid," the creature said.
"Yowie," Judy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Cook spring saw root spoon fret to seacoast," the thing argued.
"Jumpin’ Jehosaphat. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gootocookoo peach grycepoomem."
"Why don't you take your peach and shove it in your finger?" Judy retorted.
The creature looked homely. "Kopifoony quycudinic omejel, miyagam," it professed. "Dashuzoog!" it continued.
"Your face is a dashuzoog!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, crazy creature; she was feeling unusually sober. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or exterminator. If she had been carrying a parlor trick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ordway will be delighted to see you."
The creature rushed slightly and stood by. Then it rose up on its electronic legs, puffed out its back and waltzed fearfully toward her.
For the first time, Judy had the urge to run, but her piehole was feeling heavy and her legs refused to move.
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