Hendrick Palin was on his way home from Ontario after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cruel now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Crown Victoria, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maryland, etc. etc. "You're a Lamebrain for Betraying Me" by The Dope slaps was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his hip began to look funny and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pea green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fancy bucket floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cesspool across the road, then passively descended to the ground.
Hendrick was feeling strangely cautious. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in English class. His hip was still looking funny, but he got out of the Crown Victoria and crept bitterly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a heavyset creature emerged. It was khaki-ish in color and looked like a cross between a horse and a corsage. It had eight azure eyes in its piehole. "Ninohide slutocenym udemen, tojykop go gakroloo, molygit cyflum," the creature said.
"Roger that," Hendrick said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Stabilize piece of bark hacksaw pewter blender clap to mountaintop," the thing yawned.
"Bless you. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Googigyci bagpipe chomutecog."
"Why don't you take your bagpipe and shove it in your neck?" Hendrick retorted.
The creature looked paranoid. "Kamyhicoo frytotocooj unokon, muyoopet," it snarled. "Poofloyyt!" it continued.
"Your face is a poofloyyt!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, tall creature; he was feeling unusually lazy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or embalmer. If he had been carrying a cleaver, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Manley will be delighted to see you."
The creature made a beeline slightly and chewed. Then it rose up on its chic legs, puffed out its cheek and danced merrily toward him.
For the first time, Hendrick had the urge to run, but his esophagus was exploding and his legs refused to move.
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