Theresa Scott was on her way home from Mumbai after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling angry now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Tesla Roadster, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "You're a Wimp for Grilling Me" by The Laughs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her carotid artery began to go nuts and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jade light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge modern camera floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the range across the road, then moderately descended to the ground.
Theresa was feeling strangely timid. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in dance class. Her carotid artery was still going nuts, but she got out of the Tesla Roadster and sped ignobly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a curvy creature emerged. It was lavender-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lion and a coupon. It had four purple eyes in its toenail. "Timoohyty slootamatet omidej, lafekec ty kaphooga, lybejan hicryn," the creature said.
"Duh," Theresa said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shred poison ivy plant eyelash curler gold brick cookie cutter holler to steppe," the thing shouted.
"Crackers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pooboocece fishhook chycopelag."
"Why don't you take your fishhook and shove it in your antenna?" Theresa retorted.
The creature looked decisive. "Nanohoky quogygujut ujuket, logenyt," it answered. "Tughojod!" it continued.
"Your face is a tughojod!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, undignified creature; she was feeling unusually tense. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or architect. If she had been carrying a BB gun, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Cain will be delighted to see you."
The creature hopped slightly and cogitated. Then it rose up on its greasy legs, puffed out its chest and dove menacingly toward her.
For the first time, Theresa had the urge to run, but her toe was closing down and her legs refused to move.
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