Will Nash was on his way home from Vienna after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling nervous now that the meetings were over. He was driving his hovercraft, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "I'm a Lackwit for Chatting with You" by The Snickers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his big toe began to go to pieces and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge tiny picture floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the island across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Will was feeling strangely desperate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in hygiene class. His big toe was still going to pieces, but he got out of the hovercraft and sped curiously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an athletic creature emerged. It was periwinkle-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dormouse and a compass. It had six salmon eyes in its skull. "Gejohooloo clabootojood ookolen, mofonit ne dewracy, domomik sygluj," the creature said.
"Bless your heart," Will said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fold tree scythe jewel dull knife show up to pasture," the thing voiced.
"Rats. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jamugooby hat ghymitoolub."
"Why don't you take your hat and shove it in your hangnail?" Will retorted.
The creature looked gallant. "Kudosena clinabidan ecucek, lygopyb," it groaned. "Gighoyool!" it continued.
"Your face is a gighoyool!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, paranoid creature; he was feeling unusually puzzled. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or funeral director. If he had been carrying an iPod, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Nash will be delighted to see you."
The creature trekked slightly and lay around in bed. Then it rose up on its immense legs, puffed out its cheek and made a beeline bravely toward him.
For the first time, Will had the urge to run, but his thumb was vexing and his legs refused to move.
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