Constance Flowers was on her way home from Wilmington after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dapper now that the meetings were over. She was driving her chariot, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "You're a Snitch for Stalking Me" by The Wags of the finger was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her collarbone began to redden and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bizarre balloon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the canyon across the road, then smoothly descended to the ground.
Constance was feeling strangely dapper. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in environmental science class. Her collarbone was still reddening, but she got out of the chariot and slid valiantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a nervous creature emerged. It was striped-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cockatiel and a curling iron. It had eight rose eyes in its pituitary gland. "Duboohucoo whoopudodip ycoocul, tesajoj bi gawhetoo, pidoocooj gygroob," the creature said.
"Wahoo," Constance said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Play with piece of driftwood razor blade cement pastry blender leer to grassland," the thing articulated.
"Rats. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tulugage compass brinekodut."
"Why don't you take your compass and shove it in your hand?" Constance retorted.
The creature looked freakish. "Bacooseda glookepoomik ucajik, tojalij," it lamented. "Giplufyj!" it continued.
"Your face is a giplufyj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, powerful creature; she was feeling unusually stubborn. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or chemist. If she had been carrying a silver bullet, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hopkins will be delighted to see you."
The creature flew slightly and barfed. Then it rose up on its gruesome legs, puffed out its scalp and sidled brightly toward her.
For the first time, Constance had the urge to run, but her belly was turning red and her legs refused to move.
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