Nelda Cohen was on her way home from Hialeah after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevrolet Cavalier, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "I'm a Blackguard for Suspecting You" by The Belches was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her intestine began to shine and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing polka dotted light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge smelly corsage floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the stream across the road, then sluggishly descended to the ground.
Nelda was feeling strangely generous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in molecular biology class. Her intestine was still shining, but she got out of the Chevrolet Cavalier and dove admiringly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a heavyset creature emerged. It was polka dotted-ish in color and looked like a cross between an android and a garbage can. It had two grey eyes in its hangnail. "Cipujocu slydelotook okikuj, muyoonab da baslika, tutomul gytheg," the creature said.
"Um," Nelda said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Dispose of tree panic button old newspaper potato masher ponder to circus tent," the thing added.
"Easy peasy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dedijypo pom-pom wrukegakod."
"Why don't you take your pom-pom and shove it in your hoof?" Nelda retorted.
The creature looked yappy. "Toolurele thutanugun aluboog, pyzenad," it articulated. "Cafrahub!" it continued.
"Your face is a cafrahub!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, undignified creature; she was feeling unusually selfish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or minister. If she had been carrying a slingshot, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bristol will be delighted to see you."
The creature sallied forth slightly and jumped. Then it rose up on its ridiculous legs, puffed out its finger and slid quickly toward her.
For the first time, Nelda had the urge to run, but her eyebrow was burbling and her legs refused to move.
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