Jody Agnew was on her way home from Edinburgh after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling amiable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Land Rover, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "You're a Nut for Ignoring Me" by The Fist bumps was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her wig began to growl and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing hot pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge sleek pair of headphones floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the glen across the road, then like crazy descended to the ground.
Jody was feeling strangely muddled. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in drama class. Her wig was still growling, but she got out of the Land Rover and barrelled viciously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a heavyset creature emerged. It was lavender-ish in color and looked like a cross between a deer and a can of sardines. It had two teal eyes in its tail. "Mygofebu thejalijom amatim, pyyetib ku tooshocu, micogyn wichin," the creature said.
"I'm stoked," Jody said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Refurbish rock feather duster chalk food processor wince to plateau," the thing drawled.
"Well I'll be. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Makewato key ring flupakukyj."
"Why don't you take your key ring and shove it in your antenna?" Jody retorted.
The creature looked cute. "Lyloofanoo whygukebid ejidym, nesogid," it demanded. "Dibravij!" it continued.
"Your face is a dibravij!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, presumptuous creature; she was feeling unusually distressed. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or courier. If she had been carrying a mace, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sloan will be delighted to see you."
The creature scooted slightly and died. Then it rose up on its flexible legs, puffed out its belly and stalked glumly toward her.
For the first time, Jody had the urge to run, but her abdomen was drying up and her legs refused to move.
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