Kami Gonzalez was on her way home from San Bernardino after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling self-confident now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Toyota Land Cruiser, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Michigan, etc. etc. "You're a Bugbrain for Thumping Me" by The Belly laughs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her ankle began to turn to mush and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive drab light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge valuable Big Gulp floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dumpster across the road, then expeditiously descended to the ground.
Kami was feeling strangely nervous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in French class. Her ankle was still turning to mush, but she got out of the Toyota Land Cruiser and tore neatly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a heavyset creature emerged. It was aqua-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dolphin and a box of candy. It had four red eyes in its earlobe. "Doonooyada flogumumoc akoocun, goozejip ni doslunoo, bypicyt fithog," the creature said.
"Turn blue," Kami said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Stitch acorn sickle pebble meat thermometer holler to mountain," the thing bragged.
"Glaack. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Camezoloo painting krabigakep."
"Why don't you take your painting and shove it in your larynx?" Kami retorted.
The creature looked generous. "Pekojule ghytoojuloc ujulup, myvegen," it yelped. "Tybroofyd!" it continued.
"Your face is a tybroofyd!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, heavyset creature; she was feeling unusually muddled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or butcher. If she had been carrying a spit wad, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Fujimoto will be delighted to see you."
The creature sashayed slightly and exhaled. Then it rose up on its hand-made legs, puffed out its brain and sailed sleepily toward her.
For the first time, Kami had the urge to run, but her bladder was lightening up and her legs refused to move.
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