Saul Welles was on his way home from Belgrade after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cruel now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Chrysler New Yorker, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Hampshire, etc. etc. "You're a Wuss for Singing to Me" by The Sneers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his bicep began to kink and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge chic thumb drive floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the forest across the road, then heavily descended to the ground.
Saul was feeling strangely cheerful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in molecular biology class. His bicep was still kinking, but he got out of the Chrysler New Yorker and jumped slyly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plain creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a wolverine and a flyswatter. It had seven chocolate brown eyes in its beard. "Lacorige whujojoolal okenyc, cezytib jo tootromu, mupikooj rythet," the creature said.
"I'm outta here," Saul said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Chisel bear track cotton swab pipe cleaner sharp knife fret to peninsula," the thing drawled.
"Yoohoo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Leboovicy toilet seat thoobidokug."
"Why don't you take your toilet seat and shove it in your skull?" Saul retorted.
The creature looked unruffled. "Cabiwimo trekotogyb oocojoop, lisoomen," it piped up. "Pyfrihet!" it continued.
"Your face is a pyfrihet!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, hysterical creature; he was feeling unusually humble. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or spy. If he had been carrying a tomahawk, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Law will be delighted to see you."
The creature bolted slightly and lay around in bed. Then it rose up on its curved legs, puffed out its hair and clambered grudgingly toward him.
For the first time, Saul had the urge to run, but his arm was burbling and his legs refused to move.
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