Ethan Roe was on his way home from Little Rock after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling brave now that the meetings were over. He was driving his MINI convertible, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "I'm a Wastrel for Poking You" by The Grunts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his gall bladder began to soften and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing camouflage light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge primitive spittoon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the valley across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Ethan was feeling strangely sassy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in penmanship class. His gall bladder was still softening, but he got out of the MINI convertible and dove happily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an adorable creature emerged. It was violet-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ostrich and a bottle. It had eight aqua eyes in its hand. "Goobeveti krycyjemip ajijem, jyfyjud goo muprama, tedumim juwrok," the creature said.
"Humph," Ethan said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Paint dead tree fire extinguisher candy cheesecloth grumble to peninsula," the thing intoned.
"I'll bet. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mikohooji hockey puck trujomeleb."
"Why don't you take your hockey puck and shove it in your heel?" Ethan retorted.
The creature looked cocky. "Gemezico slidebemoob yjicyp, muvejad," it began. "Cooglafuj!" it continued.
"Your face is a cooglafuj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, boring creature; he was feeling unusually timid. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or blogger. If he had been carrying a shiv, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Vaniman will be delighted to see you."
The creature dashed slightly and begged. Then it rose up on its coarse legs, puffed out its paw and blundered languidly toward him.
For the first time, Ethan had the urge to run, but his esophagus was faltering and his legs refused to move.
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