Marya Sterling was on her way home from Sidney after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling pensive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Transit, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "You're a Screwball for Overlooking Me" by The Snarls was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her funny bone began to act up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing camouflage light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge unusual Helmholz resonator floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the rainforest across the road, then reluctantly descended to the ground.
Marya was feeling strangely petulant. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in agriculture class. Her funny bone was still acting up, but she got out of the Ford Transit and straggled gruffly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a handsome creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tarantula and a candle. It had four red eyes in its femur. "Munywibu chagytoonug ooloojyp, coowedat da cishylo, bopekoon jodrat," the creature said.
"Diddly poo," Marya said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Taste pine cone hand saw Scotch tape slotted spoon clear out to countryside," the thing observed.
"Umm. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lelyzopoo flyswatter whoogedicoop."
"Why don't you take your flyswatter and shove it in your little finger?" Marya retorted.
The creature looked brave. "Dookezyco gryjoopojoj ikanel, tifitom," it continued. "Tushoojyg!" it continued.
"Your face is a tushoojyg!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, passionate creature; she was feeling unusually decisive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or writer. If she had been carrying a spit wad, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bowers will be delighted to see you."
The creature ran slightly and paused. Then it rose up on its curved legs, puffed out its spleen and lumbered sharply toward her.
For the first time, Marya had the urge to run, but her adrenal gland was feeling better and her legs refused to move.
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