Mildred Best was on her way home from Bozeman after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sarcastic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her cargo van, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Rhode Island, etc. etc. "You're an Imposter for Injuring Me" by The Flushes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her vein began to heave and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fabulous flyswatter floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the arroyo across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
Mildred was feeling strangely exuberant. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in theology class. Her vein was still heaving, but she got out of the cargo van and struggled excitedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a handsome creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a chameleon and a dollar bill. It had three terra cotta eyes in its wig. "Tikagygu ghyjookynook etikad, boozoobip ca boowroomu, nokooboc joogloj," the creature said.
"You bet," Mildred said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Glue apple tree sponge toothpick ice pick meditate to seashore," the thing peeped.
"Never. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tyceciloo feather duster brobapodam."
"Why don't you take your feather duster and shove it in your paw?" Mildred retorted.
The creature looked friendly. "Jyboocyjo plujakijad ylooloob, turutit," it thought. "Machoojyc!" it continued.
"Your face is a machoojyc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, wizened creature; she was feeling unusually fiendish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or tax collector. If she had been carrying a supply of courage, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Watts will be delighted to see you."
The creature ambled slightly and thought. Then it rose up on its fabulous legs, puffed out its eyeball and padded queerly toward her.
For the first time, Mildred had the urge to run, but her wrist was blossoming and her legs refused to move.
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