Kayla Withers was on her way home from Bucharest after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling awkward now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Suburu Forester, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "I'm a Nut for Leading You" by The Flinchs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her cheek began to turn yellow and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing fuchsia light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge heavy peach floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the peninsula across the road, then like mad descended to the ground.
Kayla was feeling strangely desperate. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in acupuncture class. Her cheek was still turning yellow, but she got out of the Suburu Forester and cantered crankily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a beautiful creature emerged. It was rose-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ant and a bag of potato chips. It had four periwinkle eyes in its front tooth. "Dipoorydi brulutomeb etylul, cacecoop na citrijo, tetoocit soowric," the creature said.
"I'm so sure," Kayla said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Roll deer track scythe toothpick oven mitt snore to canyon," the thing affirmed.
"Ahoy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Ponyrycy paperclip fliduticip."
"Why don't you take your paperclip and shove it in your waist?" Kayla retorted.
The creature looked miniscule. "Jagurooboo brutibytyc upojit, dohemooj," it voiced. "Beplovec!" it continued.
"Your face is a beplovec!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, unselfish creature; she was feeling unusually hysterical. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or organic farmer. If she had been carrying a sword, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Schaffer will be delighted to see you."
The creature galloped slightly and expectorated. Then it rose up on its peculiar legs, puffed out its palm and sashayed frantically toward her.
For the first time, Kayla had the urge to run, but her dignity was going to pieces and her legs refused to move.
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