Marv Dirkson was on his way home from Hastings after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling daring now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Honda Civic, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Vermont, etc. etc. "I'm a Pigdog for Killing You" by The Woofs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his skin began to dribble and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing white light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gruesome bucket floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the island across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Marv was feeling strangely amiable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in subtraction class. His skin was still dribbling, but he got out of the Honda Civic and sallied forth shyly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a wizened creature emerged. It was aqua-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rooster and a paper airplane. It had two maroon eyes in its forehead. "Jabegimi britytylot otijup, pohutap poo boochady, pybedat gegryj," the creature said.
"Aye," Marv said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Refurbish apple tree pipe wrench copper blender creep to seashore," the thing fretted.
"Unbelievable. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jagohydy spoon frunucootop."
"Why don't you take your spoon and shove it in your nostril?" Marv retorted.
The creature looked wary. "Cetizali thudetated idadab, nigudyd," it analyzed. "Jooplerym!" it continued.
"Your face is a jooplerym!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, cautious creature; he was feeling unusually sarcastic. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or pawnbroker. If he had been carrying a dirk, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Barber will be delighted to see you."
The creature slumped slightly and growled. Then it rose up on its mechanical legs, puffed out its hairdo and whirled hungrily toward him.
For the first time, Marv had the urge to run, but his ear was turning grey and his legs refused to move.
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