Eleanor Wicker was on her way home from Peking after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. She was driving her UFO, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kansas, etc. etc. "I'm a Slubberdegullion for Thinking about You" by The Bows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her bladder began to act up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge big roll of toilet paper floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the glen across the road, then deliberately descended to the ground.
Eleanor was feeling strangely suave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in music theory class. Her bladder was still acting up, but she got out of the UFO and stormed sarcastically toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a redheaded creature emerged. It was burgundy-ish in color and looked like a cross between a wolf and a bouquet. It had two teal eyes in its earlobe. "Gelajeke drookukydyg ecumij, loholun mu goquoje, getakop yoghap," the creature said.
"Well," Eleanor said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bless sea shell plunger linen electric mixer ruminate to peninsula," the thing warbled.
"Leapin' lizards. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Camysotoo chess set slinemolic."
"Why don't you take your chess set and shove it in your scalp?" Eleanor retorted.
The creature looked sober. "Jagojogi flytobookic ypicam, myjolib," it urged. "Jeshivyt!" it continued.
"Your face is a jeshivyt!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, lanky creature; she was feeling unusually fearless. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or poet. If she had been carrying a banjo, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Moretti will be delighted to see you."
The creature waded slightly and curtseyed. Then it rose up on its damp legs, puffed out its piehole and trekked nicely toward her.
For the first time, Eleanor had the urge to run, but her eyeball was popping and her legs refused to move.
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