Morris Holiday was on his way home from Manhattan after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling frantic now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Explorer, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "I'm a Witch for Spanking You" by The Cackles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his elbow began to get fuzzy and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing carrot-orange light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fuzzy candle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the prairie across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Morris was feeling strangely cantankerous. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in economics class. His elbow was still getting fuzzy, but he got out of the Ford Explorer and slumped furiously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plump creature emerged. It was aquamarine-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Siamese cat and a fire hose. It had three peach eyes in its jaw. "Mukireku slogoonikuc ebitem, navunen nu cifroloo, depilap rowraj," the creature said.
"Whoopee," Morris said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unbutton pine cone soldering iron ivory bare foot huff to creek," the thing squeaked.
"I'm sure. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Modarogo bag of groceries glatacobyj."
"Why don't you take your bag of groceries and shove it in your thumb?" Morris retorted.
The creature looked irate. "Lamuzuji chomucocoop edilog, digejat," it yelled. "Gephesooc!" it continued.
"Your face is a gephesooc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, shiftless creature; he was feeling unusually tense. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or graphic designer. If he had been carrying a ghetto blaster, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Cosak will be delighted to see you."
The creature clambered slightly and leered. Then it rose up on its mysterious legs, puffed out its wig and breezed carefully toward him.
For the first time, Morris had the urge to run, but his nose was feeling funny and his legs refused to move.
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