Jeff Wu was on his way home from Amarillo after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling excitable now that the meetings were over. He was driving his monster truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "You're an Idiot for Isolating Me" by The Squints was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his toe began to twinkle and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing scarlet light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge clean teacup floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the crime scene across the road, then double-time descended to the ground.
Jeff was feeling strangely impish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in physiology class. His toe was still twinkling, but he got out of the monster truck and breezed nervously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a fair creature emerged. It was indigo-ish in color and looked like a cross between a troll and a sponge. It had seven aquamarine eyes in its eyeball. "Macosobu frugookinib ojinood, bicigum to todrece, jetygoot yifral," the creature said.
"Why," Jeff said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Boil mulberry tree tire iron balsa piece of cheesecloth cheer up to outback," the thing bawled.
"Oh joy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Batysoodo ukulele frutyjipej."
"Why don't you take your ukulele and shove it in your throat?" Jeff retorted.
The creature looked sensible. "Lebuvypi trugedytin imunat, kyhucyk," it bragged. "Kichoovyc!" it continued.
"Your face is a kichoovyc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, disorganized creature; he was feeling unusually disagreeable. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or gunsmith. If he had been carrying an insect repellant, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Cornish will be delighted to see you."
The creature waddled slightly and backed down. Then it rose up on its bent legs, puffed out its calf and scooted shyly toward him.
For the first time, Jeff had the urge to run, but his eyelid was blanching and his legs refused to move.
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