Parson Friedman was on his way home from Lakewood after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling timid now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Rolls-Royce Ghost, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "You're a Doofus for Snuggling with Me" by The Bounds was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his beard began to go to pieces and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge electronic pinwheel floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassy knoll across the road, then like a snail descended to the ground.
Parson was feeling strangely peculiar. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in entomology class. His beard was still going to pieces, but he got out of the Rolls-Royce Ghost and walked sagely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a feeble creature emerged. It was emerald green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a chameleon and a ruler. It had seven amber eyes in its thigh. "Nojogepu prutikedad ujidic, bazetem mo boosheky, kuciceg zefrak," the creature said.
"Glaack," Parson said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Yank tree stump garden hoe copper wooden spoon creep to pasture," the thing articulated.
"Uh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Micorone key ring chylynalet."
"Why don't you take your key ring and shove it in your tail?" Parson retorted.
The creature looked decisive. "Cikewagoo plulamoojij odoolul, coowakek," it uttered. "Licregoob!" it continued.
"Your face is a licregoob!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, bouncy creature; he was feeling unusually cuddly. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or peanut vendor. If he had been carrying a stink bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Yamamoto will be delighted to see you."
The creature trekked slightly and played Duck Duck Goose. Then it rose up on its aromatic legs, puffed out its gut and clambered woodenly toward him.
For the first time, Parson had the urge to run, but his lip was turning blue and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter