Maloney Sharpe was on his way home from Brisbane after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling ambitious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his bobsled, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "I'm a Pansy for Agreeing with You" by The Flushes was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his claw began to thicken and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing turquoise light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge cotton balloon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mesa across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
Maloney was feeling strangely humble. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in geneaology class. His claw was still thickening, but he got out of the bobsled and flew boisterously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sprightly creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a sheep and a stamp. It had three olive drab eyes in its spinal cord. "Mymohuma dretinakad ujipom, dewijyg bu juwroodo, mugoopop vughep," the creature said.
"Feh," Maloney said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pulverize apple tree panic button straw bale pair of tongs barf to mesa," the thing observed.
"Oh well. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Ceciyooni necklace slumamekij."
"Why don't you take your necklace and shove it in your thyroid gland?" Maloney retorted.
The creature looked desperate. "Dikayukoo wrabakigid oolepan, dosugik," it laughed. "Macruyoob!" it continued.
"Your face is a macruyoob!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, jaunty creature; he was feeling unusually merry. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or reporter. If he had been carrying an AK-47, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hogan will be delighted to see you."
The creature rolled slightly and came to. Then it rose up on its plain legs, puffed out its finger and darted frenetically toward him.
For the first time, Maloney had the urge to run, but his tail was blossoming and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter