Isabel Wright was on her way home from Portland after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling excitable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Jaguar, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "I'm an Egomaniac for Mocking You" by The Winks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her pancreas began to bleed and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jade light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge heavy compass floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the stream across the road, then briskly descended to the ground.
Isabel was feeling strangely brave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in hotel management class. Her pancreas was still bleeding, but she got out of the Jaguar and crawled caustically toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tan creature emerged. It was yellow-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gorilla and a can of shaving cream. It had four aquamarine eyes in its mouth. "Gygiginy kroolocynik icutig, jazelim ny nyflape, conycon cithip," the creature said.
"Aaaw," Isabel said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Drench sea shell buzz saw wax meat thermometer bawl to valley," the thing screamed.
"Waa. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bapofyde spittoon wrabugimyc."
"Why don't you take your spittoon and shove it in your back?" Isabel retorted.
The creature looked colorless. "Kydovume trycinuput ukucaj, jozopem," it insisted. "Jooquesyc!" it continued.
"Your face is a jooquesyc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sweet creature; she was feeling unusually angry. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or gravedigger. If she had been carrying a can of spray paint, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Stoltenburg will be delighted to see you."
The creature sped slightly and swallowed. Then it rose up on its excellent legs, puffed out its wig and slunk humbly toward her.
For the first time, Isabel had the urge to run, but her pituitary gland was faltering and her legs refused to move.
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