Candi Sharpe was on her way home from Myrtle Beach after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling decisive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevrolet Impala, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Pennsylvania, etc. etc. "I'm a Clapperdudgeon for Wrestling with You" by The Jeers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her paw began to fester and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jade light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ordinary vacuum cleaner floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lakeside across the road, then smoothly descended to the ground.
Candi was feeling strangely stubborn. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in astrology class. Her paw was still festering, but she got out of the Chevrolet Impala and struggled steadily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a handsome creature emerged. It was fuchsia-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gopher and a salt shaker. It had seven orange eyes in its palm. "Joomagito crumojegad inamob, juyoolik too pechime, mogeguk radrooj," the creature said.
"Oh joy," Candi said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pierce tree stump match Portland cement corkscrew grin to pasture," the thing indicated.
"Whoa. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Memyyuny sea shell krumegaket."
"Why don't you take your sea shell and shove it in your pituitary gland?" Candi retorted.
The creature looked ungainly. "Poocyjapy flycamobim ipoojoop, moovadob," it answered. "Disleron!" it continued.
"Your face is a disleron!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, portly creature; she was feeling unusually excitable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or stunt performer. If she had been carrying a blow gun, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Shainberg will be delighted to see you."
The creature trekked slightly and played Farmer in the Dell. Then it rose up on its odd legs, puffed out its shoulder and slithered sorrowfully toward her.
For the first time, Candi had the urge to run, but her esophagus was growing pale and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter