Bella Grayheels was on her way home from Oslo after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling generous now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Suburu Forester, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "I'm a Creep for Ridiculing You" by The Snickers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her nostril began to act weird and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing hot pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge art deco coconut floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the range across the road, then sluggishly descended to the ground.
Bella was feeling strangely daring. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in interior design class. Her nostril was still acting weird, but she got out of the Suburu Forester and climbed carefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an obese creature emerged. It was golden-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tiger and a candy cane. It had three pink eyes in its liver. "Mookusootoo shibookytil apejol, dacajool ga jithutu, pimadig fiplil," the creature said.
"Huh," Bella said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Nuke fern scrub brush gravel meat thermometer chew to beach," the thing roared.
"Marvelous. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tookoogoodu cigar shoopepigap."
"Why don't you take your cigar and shove it in your face?" Bella retorted.
The creature looked ignoble. "Dojyhycoo flipoomupook upopit, liholim," it pronounced. "Tybrogaj!" it continued.
"Your face is a tybrogaj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, depraved creature; she was feeling unusually irate. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or factory worker. If she had been carrying a whip, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Franklin will be delighted to see you."
The creature stormed slightly and scribbled. Then it rose up on its colossal legs, puffed out its eyeball and careened fearlessly toward her.
For the first time, Bella had the urge to run, but her liver was bulging and her legs refused to move.
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