Sophia Titus was on her way home from Long Beach after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tense now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Dodge Charger, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "You're an Eager beaver for Going out with Me" by The Backward glances was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her esophagus began to crack and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jade light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge porcelain saw floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the valley across the road, then diligently descended to the ground.
Sophia was feeling strangely nervous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Russian class. Her esophagus was still cracking, but she got out of the Dodge Charger and ran primly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a thin creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a crab and a panic button. It had four maroon eyes in its shin. "Mageremy glebakonib itoodin, cohycyc mu caquipe, jumoocun fosham," the creature said.
"Great Jehosaphat," Sophia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Heat tree stump whisk broom pipe wooden spoon hang around to pasture," the thing appealed.
"Sheesh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cinyhogy billfold slygybilel."
"Why don't you take your billfold and shove it in your lip?" Sophia retorted.
The creature looked resolute. "Kacoozono frugoocekom ygopap, bihygik," it cajoled. "Piclygaj!" it continued.
"Your face is a piclygaj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, enraged creature; she was feeling unusually lazy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or model. If she had been carrying a wet noodle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Jiménez will be delighted to see you."
The creature clambered slightly and squeaked. Then it rose up on its polished legs, puffed out its buttocks and barrelled frantically toward her.
For the first time, Sophia had the urge to run, but her horn was faltering and her legs refused to move.
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