Franklin Cantada was on his way home from Alexandria after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling petulant now that the meetings were over. He was driving his station wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Jersey, etc. etc. "I'm a Poopyhead for Educating You" by The Finger guns was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his foot began to wobble and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge automatic cane floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the butte across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
Franklin was feeling strangely daring. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in engineering class. His foot was still wobbling, but he got out of the station wagon and lumbered perkily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plain creature emerged. It was violet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a sheep and a church key. It had seven golden eyes in its jaw. "Didyzuku klenajakil ypogup, jyhepyp ny loquoobi, pilalut zogroog," the creature said.
"I've had it," Franklin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Mutilate piece of bark squeegee plutonium strainer cry to range," the thing mused.
"Oops. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pomuyooloo blanket ghodubycim."
"Why don't you take your blanket and shove it in your hoof?" Franklin retorted.
The creature looked anemic. "Cucayyme shekacitil ikekag, mefokep," it implored. "Tocluvik!" it continued.
"Your face is a tocluvik!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, princely creature; he was feeling unusually generous. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or communist. If he had been carrying a stash of bribe money, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Marx will be delighted to see you."
The creature sauntered slightly and meditated. Then it rose up on its gigantic legs, puffed out its antenna and slithered immediately toward him.
For the first time, Franklin had the urge to run, but his head was glistening and his legs refused to move.
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