Midge Jankowski was on her way home from Taipei after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling daring now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Cadillac Escalade, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nebraska, etc. etc. "I'm a Hack for Poisoning You" by The Cackles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her scalp began to hiss and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge electronic cigarette lighter floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the creek across the road, then busily descended to the ground.
Midge was feeling strangely sarcastic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in information science class. Her scalp was still hissing, but she got out of the Cadillac Escalade and trekked joyously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a handsome creature emerged. It was burgundy-ish in color and looked like a cross between an anteater and a hand puppet. It had six crimson eyes in its wig. "Jamiyigo quoolecodet ucoojut, toofoojooj me becrogy, talebut goodrap," the creature said.
"Ah," Midge said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bless piece of driftwood pair of pliers cement basting brush suffer to stream," the thing repeated.
"Omigosh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bygoozedoo ticket crykipijul."
"Why don't you take your ticket and shove it in your spine?" Midge retorted.
The creature looked megalomaniacal. "Polazoonoo trygucycuk ootikyd, davapob," it voiced. "Dophovood!" it continued.
"Your face is a dophovood!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, frantic creature; she was feeling unusually impish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or marine biologist. If she had been carrying a bayonette, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Stucky will be delighted to see you."
The creature trotted slightly and carried on. Then it rose up on its bronze legs, puffed out its collarbone and breezed unnaturally toward her.
For the first time, Midge had the urge to run, but her thumb was looking strange and her legs refused to move.
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