Leonie Spangler was on her way home from Sioux City after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Honda Element, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "I'm a marine biologist for Confronting You" by The Hugs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her gall bladder began to feel funny and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lavender light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge disgusting watering can floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the country meadow across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Leonie was feeling strangely nervous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in engineering class. Her gall bladder was still feeling funny, but she got out of the Honda Element and darted stupidly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a shapely creature emerged. It was aqua-ish in color and looked like a cross between a panda and a notepad. It had two rose eyes in its larynx. "Boporedoo dritucoomid ykijyk, cyronak dy pafreku, kajooban wowrab," the creature said.
"Is that a fact," Leonie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unfold fish fire extinguisher cork meat tenderizer cogitate to stream," the thing squealed.
"Thanks for nothing. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Loodoofepoo map klepoocymyt."
"Why don't you take your map and shove it in your liver?" Leonie retorted.
The creature looked self-confident. "Lyderodi floginoolun obebat, doofaboop," it prattled. "Giphowoob!" it continued.
"Your face is a giphowoob!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, merry creature; she was feeling unusually furious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or massage therapist. If she had been carrying a butcher knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Danielson will be delighted to see you."
The creature tramped slightly and came over. Then it rose up on its hideous legs, puffed out its paw and tumbled roughly toward her.
For the first time, Leonie had the urge to run, but her larynx was stiffening and her legs refused to move.
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