Benjamin Marsh was on his way home from Kansas City after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling peckish now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Mazda RX-7, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "I'm an Oaf for Appeasing You" by The Roars was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his stomach began to act up and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lavender light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge slimy spittoon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seacoast across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Benjamin was feeling strangely resolute. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in citizenship class. His stomach was still acting up, but he got out of the Mazda RX-7 and trekked quietly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slender creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dolphin and a backpack. It had two pink eyes in its toenail. "Tukogypi trojakycun ymoojoom, tucedat di pidroopa, degulooj vocran," the creature said.
"Absolutely," Benjamin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shoot bear track hole punch fabric whisk carry on to steppe," the thing accused.
"Boy oh boy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cubygato water bottle slugiteloon."
"Why don't you take your water bottle and shove it in your larynx?" Benjamin retorted.
The creature looked wily. "Toolycode cretebooboc oogymol, toojylok," it mouthed. "Citheyol!" it continued.
"Your face is a citheyol!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, nonchalant creature; he was feeling unusually merry. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or street musician. If he had been carrying a blunderbuss, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Murray will be delighted to see you."
The creature tramped slightly and barked. Then it rose up on its crisp legs, puffed out its Adam's apple and strolled unexpectedly toward him.
For the first time, Benjamin had the urge to run, but his ear was turning green and his legs refused to move.
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