Francene Fritz was on her way home from Laramie after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling humble now that the meetings were over. She was driving her fire engine, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "You're a Lamebrain for Scratching Me" by The Puckers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her kidney began to spin and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing emerald green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fancy stopwatch floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seashore across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Francene was feeling strangely daring. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in meteorology class. Her kidney was still spinning, but she got out of the fire engine and marched courageously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a suave creature emerged. It was sea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a honeybee and a whistle. It had two olive green eyes in its intestine. "Cudesupu gribootenag oogaged, pividyg li loofloomu, myloolil foowroop," the creature said.
"Alrighty," Francene said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Dislodge pine cone whisk broom paper clip dull knife cringe to lakeside," the thing invited.
"Big deal. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nanuvoogi Van Gogh quimypeduk."
"Why don't you take your Van Gogh and shove it in your heart?" Francene retorted.
The creature looked polite. "Jatywici thoojipatop ucajuj, cuyanab," it stormed. "Cugricyd!" it continued.
"Your face is a cugricyd!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, enthusiastic creature; she was feeling unusually awkward. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or snake charmer. If she had been carrying a paddle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Remington will be delighted to see you."
The creature slid slightly and snuffled. Then it rose up on its hefty legs, puffed out its midriff and sneaked quietly toward her.
For the first time, Francene had the urge to run, but her buttocks was peeling and her legs refused to move.
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