Francene Tooker was on her way home from Birmingham after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling shy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford pickup, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "You're a Gossip for Belittling Me" by The Blushes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her head began to wrinkle and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge shiny roll of toilet paper floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the rainforest across the road, then deliberately descended to the ground.
Francene was feeling strangely muddled. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in public relations class. Her head was still wrinkling, but she got out of the Ford pickup and went tensely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a stocky creature emerged. It was burgundy-ish in color and looked like a cross between a duck-billed platypus and an ashtray. It had eight pink eyes in its pride. "Bycujugu krucapoloj agomec, noohiden ci tyshooma, koodacol wiprool," the creature said.
"Alrighty," Francene said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Jab fish hex key Velcro piece of cheesecloth flinch to park," the thing ranted.
"Huzzah. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tooguzukoo etching ghidoocejub."
"Why don't you take your etching and shove it in your little toe?" Francene retorted.
The creature looked naïve. "Necesymo ploboomoogoog utypob, johynyk," it rebutted. "Gapliwed!" it continued.
"Your face is a gapliwed!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, desperate creature; she was feeling unusually woozy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or rodeo clown. If she had been carrying a mosquito net, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Wright will be delighted to see you."
The creature capered slightly and swooned. Then it rose up on its bizarre legs, puffed out its elbow and scurried victoriously toward her.
For the first time, Francene had the urge to run, but her back was looking strange and her legs refused to move.
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