Willie Morrison was on his way home from Greensboro after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling peckish now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Land Rover, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of California, etc. etc. "I'm a Dingbat for Suing You" by The Crows was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his pancreas began to pulsate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chocolate brown light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge automatic oriental vase floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountain across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Willie was feeling strangely irate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in mathematics class. His pancreas was still pulsating, but he got out of the Land Rover and tiptoed reluctantly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an adorable creature emerged. It was crimson-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lion and a doll. It had two camouflage eyes in its thorax. "Litayumoo fronycebem ykukud, juzoolak ky gudregu, jadedan geglol," the creature said.
"Yowie," Willie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Submerse mulberry tree saw taffeta egg cutter bleed to desert," the thing asked.
"Ha-ha. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Motigycy notepad flokebatil."
"Why don't you take your notepad and shove it in your cheek?" Willie retorted.
The creature looked desperate. "Cotyheju progatumag enajym, lasoocob," it roared. "Daklyrit!" it continued.
"Your face is a daklyrit!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, lazy creature; he was feeling unusually brave. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or mason. If he had been carrying a sling, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Brinkman will be delighted to see you."
The creature galloped slightly and cleared out. Then it rose up on its unusual legs, puffed out its ear and scurried quietly toward him.
For the first time, Willie had the urge to run, but his buttocks was falling off and his legs refused to move.
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