Delores White was on her way home from Capetown after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cautious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Nissan Maxima, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Screwball for Fooling Me" by The Beams was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her thigh began to get stiff and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hefty purse floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the wasteland across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
Delores was feeling strangely furious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in gaming class. Her thigh was still getting stiff, but she got out of the Nissan Maxima and scurried joyously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an undersized creature emerged. It was periwinkle-ish in color and looked like a cross between a cockroach and a key. It had four lime-green eyes in its abdomen. "Dinoocuji phyketupac elikyk, dooyumej moo bowhoopa, kyjopak jeplob," the creature said.
"Piffle," Delores said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fry egg shell pair of pliers corncob food processor preach to outback," the thing shuddered.
"Holy cow. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Loliheju blank check whybedomyg."
"Why don't you take your blank check and shove it in your hoof?" Delores retorted.
The creature looked frumpy. "Benigetoo chotycojec igomeb, luzalyg," it wailed. "Moclosooj!" it continued.
"Your face is a moclosooj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, decisive creature; she was feeling unusually lethargic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or clown. If she had been carrying an axe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Spangler will be delighted to see you."
The creature danced slightly and got sleepy. Then it rose up on its immense legs, puffed out its hair and set out delicately toward her.
For the first time, Delores had the urge to run, but her buttocks was getting emotional and her legs refused to move.
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