Alice Rajashree was on her way home from Wichita after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling distressed now that the meetings were over. She was driving her bobsled, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "You're a Wannabe for Biting Me" by The Hiccups was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her big toe began to get cold and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge colossal fish bowl floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the savanna across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Alice was feeling strangely maniacal. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in scuba diving class. Her big toe was still getting cold, but she got out of the bobsled and hopped sagely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a flabby creature emerged. It was golden-ish in color and looked like a cross between a toad and a twig. It had eight lime-green eyes in its adrenal gland. "Cotecinoo slokucedon ilekud, toowoonij ti looklyky, bogokan gefrook," the creature said.
"Shoo," Alice said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Ridicule mushroom lug wrench hair meat thermometer grunt to marsh," the thing preached.
"Excellent. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Deduvapu skull bremocagad."
"Why don't you take your skull and shove it in your tummy?" Alice retorted.
The creature looked exuberant. "Penysepoo shoomumogib ynodal, dygaduc," it guessed. "Noobrarool!" it continued.
"Your face is a noobrarool!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, cuddly creature; she was feeling unusually frantic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or goldsmith. If she had been carrying a charm, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Agnew will be delighted to see you."
The creature tramped slightly and dressed up. Then it rose up on its cheap legs, puffed out its elbow and ran trustingly toward her.
For the first time, Alice had the urge to run, but her shoulder was unwinding and her legs refused to move.
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