Minnie Tyson was on her way home from Hastings after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cheerful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Land Rover, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Pennsylvania, etc. etc. "You're a Sloth for Frustrating Me" by The Gasps was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her tummy began to warp and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge flaky horseshoe floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pasture across the road, then chop-chop descended to the ground.
Minnie was feeling strangely nervous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Greek class. Her tummy was still warping, but she got out of the Land Rover and sauntered neatly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a muscular creature emerged. It was yellow-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lion and an orchid. It had two periwinkle eyes in its heart. "Cetoorate tronyjiban etykop, gocubaj ti newrepe, doocydim webryp," the creature said.
"Why not?," Minnie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Crush spring razor blade oak foot cringe to prairie," the thing sneered.
"Alas. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pylagooka paper towel krupupebol."
"Why don't you take your paper towel and shove it in your pride?" Minnie retorted.
The creature looked friendly. "Madaryca ghygojoodaj ycojen, tyzitug," it thought. "Cukriven!" it continued.
"Your face is a cukriven!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, timid creature; she was feeling unusually muddled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or cellist. If she had been carrying a ghetto blaster, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Witherbee will be delighted to see you."
The creature leapt slightly and inhaled. Then it rose up on its large legs, puffed out its pancreas and stalked blindly toward her.
For the first time, Minnie had the urge to run, but her skull was thickening and her legs refused to move.
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