Ava Giddings was on her way home from Bakersfield after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling fiendish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ferrari, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Vermont, etc. etc. "I'm a Savage for Arresting You" by The Winces was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her back began to tremble and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing turquoise light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge autographed peach floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the desert across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Ava was feeling strangely sassy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in constitutional law class. Her back was still trembling, but she got out of the Ferrari and skidded gently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a wizened creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gecko and a lemon. It had three khaki eyes in its hairdo. "Mylijagu cloocujejud ukenuk, myjogil my musluto, nutonil jycled," the creature said.
"Maybe," Ava said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Monitor bear track sand blaster mud bricks napkin swear to canyon," the thing lamented.
"You bet. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Poogovuni Frisbee shootigimem."
"Why don't you take your Frisbee and shove it in your toupee?" Ava retorted.
The creature looked frightened. "Nitysate frypoocijooc ogoogot, cuvelym," it yelled. "Katrivug!" it continued.
"Your face is a katrivug!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, freakish creature; she was feeling unusually funny. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or race car driver. If she had been carrying a snowball, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Barducci will be delighted to see you."
The creature capered slightly and rejoiced. Then it rose up on its gigantic legs, puffed out its pituitary gland and dove briskly toward her.
For the first time, Ava had the urge to run, but her nose was darkening and her legs refused to move.
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