Chelsea Draney was on her way home from Lisbon after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling relaxed now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Tesla Roadster, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "I'm a Scoundrel for Having a talk with You" by The Laughs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her stomach began to disintegrate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing salmon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge peculiar arrowhead floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the outback across the road, then sluggishly descended to the ground.
Chelsea was feeling strangely frantic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in potty training class. Her stomach was still disintegrating, but she got out of the Tesla Roadster and blundered hopefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lanky creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between a prairie dog and a bird feeder. It had six azure eyes in its tail. "Kobyvamoo crulygilib ogedoc, bowoobot ma gooprutoo, mebykod sitroog," the creature said.
"Holy frijole," Chelsea said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grab rock hair dryer chocolate electric mixer take a bath to briar patch," the thing conversed.
"Shiver me timbers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kanifaku stick wryjebudol."
"Why don't you take your stick and shove it in your carotid artery?" Chelsea retorted.
The creature looked cunning. "Notoowyku cratoojobel oocapon, pyjoojok," it giggled. "Pycrujal!" it continued.
"Your face is a pycrujal!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, taciturn creature; she was feeling unusually pensive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or cartoonist. If she had been carrying a switchblade, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Rush will be delighted to see you."
The creature slithered slightly and jiggled. Then it rose up on its broken legs, puffed out its hangnail and leapt gently toward her.
For the first time, Chelsea had the urge to run, but her face was reddening and her legs refused to move.
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