Rosie Dewey was on her way home from Tehran after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. She was driving her handcart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "I'm a Good-for-nothing for Blocking You" by The Yawns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her paw began to feel numb and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing beige light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge authentic fountain pen floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mesa across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Rosie was feeling strangely furious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in manners class. Her paw was still feeling numb, but she got out of the handcart and careened cleverly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cadaverous creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a beaver and a padlock. It had two violet eyes in its eyelash. "Nygifiky ghudynyduk olicol, lufegej be poplyjo, bykoopac fufrug," the creature said.
"Eh," Rosie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Watch badger hole chisel silk dish cloth sneeze to cesspool," the thing exclaimed.
"Hot dog. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gelecadu Frisbee krujootoonuk."
"Why don't you take your Frisbee and shove it in your face?" Rosie retorted.
The creature looked moronic. "Gajyweli droobooducil acebod, kagoteb," it gasped. "Loothuzod!" it continued.
"Your face is a loothuzod!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, weary creature; she was feeling unusually cruel. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or flight attendant. If she had been carrying a disarming smile, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Meyer will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounded slightly and panted. Then it rose up on its clean legs, puffed out its leg and scurried effortlessly toward her.
For the first time, Rosie had the urge to run, but her eye was dropping off and her legs refused to move.
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