Barb Glockman was on her way home from New York after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling queer now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Smart Car, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maryland, etc. etc. "You're an Animal for Listening to Me" by The Crows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyebrow began to go wild and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge spongy pillow floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountain across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Barb was feeling strangely lethargic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in ciphering class. Her eyebrow was still going wild, but she got out of the Smart Car and made a beeline excitedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a haggard creature emerged. It was salmon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a donkey and a teacup. It had six brown eyes in its bladder. "Kitiwobi grymatumook oculut, tyzetod po tusluly, topepek roofrip," the creature said.
"Shucks," Barb said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Blame poison ivy plant bit of Elmer's glue graham cracker garlic press chuckle to canyon," the thing mentioned.
"Alrighty. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Linavumi cane ghenelejip."
"Why don't you take your cane and shove it in your appendix?" Barb retorted.
The creature looked mournful. "Kagovoby klunojygip oonikid, liwajig," it squealed. "Dychizij!" it continued.
"Your face is a dychizij!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, dependable creature; she was feeling unusually resolute. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or phlebotomist. If she had been carrying a whip, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Nighthawk will be delighted to see you."
The creature skittered slightly and swooned. Then it rose up on its burned legs, puffed out its little finger and danced trustingly toward her.
For the first time, Barb had the urge to run, but her spinal cord was glistening and her legs refused to move.
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