Alton Prang was on his way home from Pasadena after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. He was driving his tractor, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "You're a Stooge for Betraying Me" by The Woofs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his throat began to flush and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jade light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge small roll of duct tape floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the river across the road, then expeditiously descended to the ground.
Alton was feeling strangely petulant. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in geography class. His throat was still flushing, but he got out of the tractor and sneaked woefully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a redheaded creature emerged. It was red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lark and a hip flask. It had eight orange eyes in its pancreas. "Dydivumy crydutemut otyboj, kuzojyj le nubrujy, ladylyk jathool," the creature said.
"I'll bet," Alton said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Enshrine cactus scrub brush leather chopstick dance to outback," the thing worried.
"Blecch. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Ligagooki china doll plumudugyk."
"Why don't you take your china doll and shove it in your artery?" Alton retorted.
The creature looked artistic. "Jooduyenu clidootynaj ajookob, jifatyj," it stormed. "Loshesoot!" it continued.
"Your face is a loshesoot!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, grizzled creature; he was feeling unusually resolute. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or scam artist. If he had been carrying a dirt clod, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Andrews will be delighted to see you."
The creature cantered slightly and pondered. Then it rose up on its ridged legs, puffed out its hoof and rushed obediently toward him.
For the first time, Alton had the urge to run, but his neck was waving and his legs refused to move.
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