Danny Sanabria was on his way home from Lubbock after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling thoughtful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Aston Martin, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Carolina, etc. etc. "I'm a Poopyface for Surprising You" by The Coos was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his vein began to ooze and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing turquoise light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ridged helmet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the circus tent across the road, then briskly descended to the ground.
Danny was feeling strangely pensive. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in art class. His vein was still oozing, but he got out of the Aston Martin and made a beeline sagely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pimply creature emerged. It was turquoise-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mule and a saw. It had six jet black eyes in its fingernail. "Goodyguke crekacyjot ulycyt, gywoomem li ciphecoo, gatakyb siplam," the creature said.
"Eureka," Danny said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Lynch leaf fingernail file silk ice pick sneer to crime scene," the thing answered.
"Holy Mother of Petunias. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Joonosuti billiard ball slokytookup."
"Why don't you take your billiard ball and shove it in your paw?" Danny retorted.
The creature looked disorganized. "Mymigakoo crakadakub inolom, covanej," it whimpered. "Cophyrab!" it continued.
"Your face is a cophyrab!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, haggard creature; he was feeling unusually merry. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or music teacher. If he had been carrying a snowball, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hamm will be delighted to see you."
The creature breezed slightly and dealt cards. Then it rose up on its gruesome legs, puffed out its tail and sailed suavely toward him.
For the first time, Danny had the urge to run, but his beard was faltering and his legs refused to move.
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