Geraldine Samaniego was on her way home from Garland after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling somber now that the meetings were over. She was driving her wheelbarrow, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Jersey, etc. etc. "I'm a Cream puff for Punishing You" by The Giggles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her thyroid gland began to droop and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lime-green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ragged lemon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the tundra across the road, then at a dawdle descended to the ground.
Geraldine was feeling strangely frantic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in law enforcement class. Her thyroid gland was still drooping, but she got out of the wheelbarrow and struggled fondly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bedraggled creature emerged. It was red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mustang and a chamber pot. It had three rose eyes in its thorax. "Kupicoomo quoogudogek inegaj, dicumog coo juquiki, loojynal cucril," the creature said.
"Meh," Geraldine said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Ignore feather putty knife tempered glass blender suffer to seacoast," the thing added.
"Dag nabbit. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Labevacu oriental vase shucutolooj."
"Why don't you take your oriental vase and shove it in your Achilles tendon?" Geraldine retorted.
The creature looked desperate. "Likyyygoo wranekybac ilimad, nawogib," it rebutted. "Nugroofap!" it continued.
"Your face is a nugroofap!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, ungainly creature; she was feeling unusually queer. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or gopher. If she had been carrying a six-shooter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Lippman will be delighted to see you."
The creature breezed slightly and burped. Then it rose up on its hard legs, puffed out its eyebrow and slithered warily toward her.
For the first time, Geraldine had the urge to run, but her larynx was shivering and her legs refused to move.
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