Kendra Ridley was on her way home from Shanghai after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cruel now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Toyota Camry, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Tennessee, etc. etc. "I'm a Cootieface for Double-crossing You" by The Bows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her little toe began to turn red and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing hot pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ancient cage floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the village across the road, then expeditiously descended to the ground.
Kendra was feeling strangely daring. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in chemistry class. Her little toe was still turning red, but she got out of the Toyota Camry and jumped despondently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an olive creature emerged. It was chartreuse-ish in color and looked like a cross between a llama and a sponge. It had four burgundy eyes in its head. "Bagazoka prybikiduc ecuman, dasamood pu byquodu, pecoocej foofrood," the creature said.
"Oh joy," Kendra said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shorten flower curling iron Saran Wrap egg cutter wait to rainforest," the thing implored.
"Woof. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Joluzacy can of sardines krybilucyn."
"Why don't you take your can of sardines and shove it in your lip?" Kendra retorted.
The creature looked moody. "Kituyapi cloocupigat uloobam, difujyt," it mused. "Miwhujam!" it continued.
"Your face is a miwhujam!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, earnest creature; she was feeling unusually forgetful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or parole officer. If she had been carrying a bottle of Tabasco Sauce, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Jacobs will be delighted to see you."
The creature waltzed slightly and applauded. Then it rose up on its excellent legs, puffed out its fingernail and darted fervently toward her.
For the first time, Kendra had the urge to run, but her waist was quaking and her legs refused to move.
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