Christina Schneider was on her way home from Nairobi after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling pensive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Galaxy, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "I'm a Bilge rat for Tantalizing You" by The Fist bumps was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her fingernail began to soften and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge speckled trash can floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the wasteland across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Christina was feeling strangely nervous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in information science class. Her fingernail was still softening, but she got out of the Ford Galaxy and sashayed gratefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a stocky creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between a duck-billed platypus and a piece of chalk. It had eight sparkly eyes in its belly. "Baliwapoo glajekoocob ootijoom, mysoomep pu pabrooty, gopuguj wacral," the creature said.
"Why not?," Christina said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Touch feather corkscrew cellophane mixing spoon come along to bog," the thing quoted.
"I think not. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kobovoojoo pipe ghymoobutob."
"Why don't you take your pipe and shove it in your belly button?" Christina retorted.
The creature looked lethargic. "Doocehooga drykookijab ilicot, marejet," it nattered. "Byghyram!" it continued.
"Your face is a byghyram!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, unruffled creature; she was feeling unusually decisive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or butler. If she had been carrying a cleaver, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Montoya will be delighted to see you."
The creature ran slightly and daydreamed. Then it rose up on its ruined legs, puffed out its little finger and struggled dolefully toward her.
For the first time, Christina had the urge to run, but her elbow was feeling better and her legs refused to move.
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