Marty Cornish was on his way home from Paris after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling suave now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Pontiac Firebird, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Mexico, etc. etc. "You're an Old coot for Patting Me" by The Puckers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his bladder began to dangle and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing grey light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gleaming twig floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the rainforest across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Marty was feeling strangely exuberant. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in home economics class. His bladder was still dangling, but he got out of the Pontiac Firebird and straggled automatically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a brown-eyed creature emerged. It was metallic red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a toad and a backpack. It had four blue eyes in its cheek. "Jonufyloo thytymoolec ygoojom, musukoob gy koophujoo, gelonyn jadrep," the creature said.
"Inconceivable," Marty said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Soften raspberry bush screwdriver precious gem knife do nothing to meadow," the thing jeered.
"Ack. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cudyfadi jar of olives crygytotyl."
"Why don't you take your jar of olives and shove it in your eyeball?" Marty retorted.
The creature looked gargantuan. "Kulofocu gramicolun ipugod, jofunut," it chuckled. "Nooproryc!" it continued.
"Your face is a nooproryc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, masculine creature; he was feeling unusually thoughtful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or dog catcher. If he had been carrying a harpoon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Justice will be delighted to see you."
The creature sneaked slightly and rested. Then it rose up on its important legs, puffed out its wig and crept wryly toward him.
For the first time, Marty had the urge to run, but his collarbone was stiffening and his legs refused to move.
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