Sadie German was on her way home from Victoria after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling peculiar now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Flex, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "You're a Stumblebum for Pushing Me" by The Flushes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her pride began to flush and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing khaki light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hand-painted mirror floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountaintop across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Sadie was feeling strangely petulant. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in literature class. Her pride was still flushing, but she got out of the Ford Flex and tramped truculently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a nervous creature emerged. It was yellow-ish in color and looked like a cross between a frog and a Barbie doll. It had seven grey eyes in its gut. "Gonyyooke gryboodojut ecenot, gefoopub bi lithigu, pykykun cithool," the creature said.
"Golly," Sadie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Punch piece of bark fingernail file beeswax slotted spoon blank out to treetop," the thing provoked.
"Zounds. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nynizybo pair of dice ghoomigylul."
"Why don't you take your pair of dice and shove it in your bladder?" Sadie retorted.
The creature looked awkward. "Kapyfogy clamedebyt umidak, macyped," it exclaimed. "Ciplufom!" it continued.
"Your face is a ciplufom!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, dismal creature; she was feeling unusually sassy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or civil servant. If she had been carrying a defibrillator, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Woods will be delighted to see you."
The creature trekked slightly and fell asleep. Then it rose up on its stiff legs, puffed out its little toe and leapt kindly toward her.
For the first time, Sadie had the urge to run, but her lip was gurgling and her legs refused to move.
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