Katie Sattler was on her way home from Memphis after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling self-confident now that the meetings were over. She was driving her transporter, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "I'm a Clapperdudgeon for Smiling at You" by The Power fists was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her tummy began to crumble and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge curved floppy disk floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the country meadow across the road, then like mad descended to the ground.
Katie was feeling strangely cantankerous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in gaming class. Her tummy was still crumbling, but she got out of the transporter and strode furiously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an olive creature emerged. It was purple-ish in color and looked like a cross between a coyote and an elephant tusk. It had four purple eyes in its wig. "Coopuvule phelybajed itolum, nyroogum boo doogheboo, copemaj yoglub," the creature said.
"Pow," Katie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Blame tree branch coping saw uranium potato peeler do nothing to savanna," the thing comforted.
"Isht. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dumucapi can of sardines brajinoocol."
"Why don't you take your can of sardines and shove it in your hoof?" Katie retorted.
The creature looked queer. "Kogusebu phokoopoodoom ikoobac, cywikuk," it gasped. "Pecrewal!" it continued.
"Your face is a pecrewal!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, taciturn creature; she was feeling unusually disagreeable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or truck driver. If she had been carrying a hammer, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Simons will be delighted to see you."
The creature bolted slightly and stared. Then it rose up on its bizarre legs, puffed out its hangnail and capered swiftly toward her.
For the first time, Katie had the urge to run, but her belly button was thickening and her legs refused to move.
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