Claudia Weston was on her way home from Shreveport after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling timid now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Honda Element, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Mississippi, etc. etc. "I'm a Baby for Opposing You" by The Grimaces was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her foot began to bleed and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge dry hair dryer floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the neighborhood across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Claudia was feeling strangely forgetful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in classics class. Her foot was still bleeding, but she got out of the Honda Element and jogged arrogantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an ugly creature emerged. It was crimson-ish in color and looked like a cross between a nightingale and a bag. It had five blue eyes in its gall bladder. "Gatevaje plynygyboog enoomoob, mozygen bi matropa, loomugood cooklok," the creature said.
"Aye," Claudia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Dress leaf vacuum cleaner satin foot giggle to swamp," the thing revealed.
"Deranged. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kocoofypoo peanut quupudijod."
"Why don't you take your peanut and shove it in your pride?" Claudia retorted.
The creature looked ladylike. "Goparoojy thojojajip ikyloot, pyjital," it yammered. "Lafluryn!" it continued.
"Your face is a lafluryn!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, disorganized creature; she was feeling unusually cantankerous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or florist. If she had been carrying an accordion, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Buffalo will be delighted to see you."
The creature marched slightly and calculated. Then it rose up on its disgusting legs, puffed out its stomach and waddled excitedly toward her.
For the first time, Claudia had the urge to run, but her toe was stinging and her legs refused to move.
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