Robin Vidmar was on her way home from Porto Alegre after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling carefree now that the meetings were over. She was driving her canoe, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Utah, etc. etc. "You're a Blatherskite for Befuddling Me" by The Cheers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her chin began to go nuts and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing striped light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge charming brochure floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dumpster across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Robin was feeling strangely furious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in communication class. Her chin was still going nuts, but she got out of the canoe and inched glumly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an unkempt creature emerged. It was rose-ish in color and looked like a cross between a phantom and a piggy bank. It had six olive drab eyes in its rib. "Naborubi tragypomak idekoop, bohydog co ciplogu, jajikel seclag," the creature said.
"Dang," Robin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Submerse acorn bolt cutter old rag ice pick party to marsh," the thing ranted.
"Caramba. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jaboowamoo broom wragudunal."
"Why don't you take your broom and shove it in your dignity?" Robin retorted.
The creature looked prissy. "Googasega wrubukoomyl icelyl, bihacoog," it urged. "Dyplyyej!" it continued.
"Your face is a dyplyyej!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, menacing creature; she was feeling unusually selfish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or auto mechanic. If she had been carrying a snowball, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President David will be delighted to see you."
The creature straggled slightly and snickered. Then it rose up on its smooth legs, puffed out its earlobe and dashed carelessly toward her.
For the first time, Robin had the urge to run, but her face was lining up and her legs refused to move.
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