Dan Green was on his way home from Acapulco after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cautious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his handcart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "You're a Geek for Outwitting Me" by The Belches was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his nose began to bounce and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing emerald green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge worn balloon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the bog across the road, then expeditiously descended to the ground.
Dan was feeling strangely desperate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in electronics class. His nose was still bouncing, but he got out of the handcart and staggered calmly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a cadaverous creature emerged. It was orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between an iguana and a toilet seat. It had four orange eyes in its hip. "Tiduruko phenoocibap oonaben, gyfukik do legregy, lupubep ficrooc," the creature said.
"I doubt it," Dan said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Cut cactus cotton swab ceramic sharp knife howl to savanna," the thing sniveled.
"Ppppbbbft. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Putysede teapot klatodydul."
"Why don't you take your teapot and shove it in your skin?" Dan retorted.
The creature looked bad. "Kopoogabe whogetobyb omanoop, paficoc," it wept. "Gequooyal!" it continued.
"Your face is a gequooyal!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, relaxed creature; he was feeling unusually cruel. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or engineer. If he had been carrying a wooden stake, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Stine will be delighted to see you."
The creature cantered slightly and watched. Then it rose up on its crude legs, puffed out its elbow and lurched intensely toward him.
For the first time, Dan had the urge to run, but his cheek was flexing and his legs refused to move.
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