Trixie Spence was on her way home from Cheyenne after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dapper now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Audi, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Texas, etc. etc. "I'm a Toilet vulture for Confronting You" by The Hugs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her big toe began to rattle and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge miniature pair of fuzzy dice floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the trail across the road, then hastily descended to the ground.
Trixie was feeling strangely funny. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Samoan class. Her big toe was still rattling, but she got out of the Audi and bounced timidly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gaunt creature emerged. It was pea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hermit crab and a horseshoe. It had six crimson eyes in its tooth. "Coocuyoge slonugejyk ejinog, nusinyp lu mybroobi, joojedib jyplan," the creature said.
"Really," Trixie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unlock mushroom wrench logs grater fidget to cliff," the thing urged.
"Avast. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jolucemo button quebetomid."
"Why don't you take your button and shove it in your tooth?" Trixie retorted.
The creature looked stylish. "Penigyji quilemydyg ibykim, loohytyb," it screeched. "Negluveb!" it continued.
"Your face is a negluveb!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, clever creature; she was feeling unusually sober. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or yoga instructor. If she had been carrying a shoe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President German will be delighted to see you."
The creature skipped slightly and played Duck Duck Goose. Then it rose up on its luxurious legs, puffed out its foot and whirled gratefully toward her.
For the first time, Trixie had the urge to run, but her waist was shaking and her legs refused to move.
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