Michaela Fontanaro was on her way home from Newark after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling disagreeable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Volt, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "I'm a Devil for Watching You" by The Stiff upper lips was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her beard began to shiver and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge expensive whistle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gully across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Michaela was feeling strangely sarcastic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in communication class. Her beard was still shivering, but she got out of the Chevy Volt and danced woefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lanky creature emerged. It was crimson-ish in color and looked like a cross between a sasquatch and a bone. It had five indigo eyes in its gall bladder. "Dakurije tricykyced ibidap, toofigoob ce nefrono, gabokooc zafrit," the creature said.
"Drop dead," Michaela said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Trim leaf plumber's snake straw blender pass out to cave," the thing sniveled.
"Dum de dum dum. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Betezapa hockey puck glynadoojoop."
"Why don't you take your hockey puck and shove it in your little finger?" Michaela retorted.
The creature looked atrocious. "Koonirope slunanibeb amopab, tewogic," it groaned. "Gowhooset!" it continued.
"Your face is a gowhooset!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, disagreeable creature; she was feeling unusually furious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or blogger. If she had been carrying a wooden stake, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Prater will be delighted to see you."
The creature skittered slightly and dealt cards. Then it rose up on its important legs, puffed out its toupee and pranced again toward her.
For the first time, Michaela had the urge to run, but her belly was expanding and her legs refused to move.
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