Sam Normal was on his way home from Miami after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling decisive now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Volvo, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "I'm a Wimp for Grilling You" by The Chuckles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his wrist began to shiver and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge miniature cotton ball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the seacoast across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Sam was feeling strangely irate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in underwater basket weaving class. His wrist was still shivering, but he got out of the Volvo and strolled positively toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a small creature emerged. It was lavender-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ass and a sponge. It had five jade eyes in its nostril. "Comoovygu klidoonatood elulyt, pahocik dy japhiko, nolonad woowruc," the creature said.
"Bless my hide," Sam said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fry wildflower hammer lead electric paint mixer tread water to seashore," the thing implored.
"Durn. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pimefijy remote control proonodacok."
"Why don't you take your remote control and shove it in your toupee?" Sam retorted.
The creature looked fashionable. "Ducayebo thynemamon ymoogyk, joroobyk," it sobbed. "Lasloowac!" it continued.
"Your face is a lasloowac!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, difficult creature; he was feeling unusually cautious. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or bounty hunter. If he had been carrying a can of spray paint, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President West will be delighted to see you."
The creature trekked slightly and swooned. Then it rose up on its coarse legs, puffed out its front tooth and scurried cunningly toward him.
For the first time, Sam had the urge to run, but his pinky was exploding and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter