Marion Tran was on her way home from St. Petersburg after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dumb now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Jaguar, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Louisiana, etc. etc. "I'm a Rogue for Analyzing You" by The Sneers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hip began to turn red and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge petite picture floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the dumpster across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Marion was feeling strangely puzzled. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in physiology class. Her hip was still turning red, but she got out of the Jaguar and leapt fearfully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tattooed creature emerged. It was khaki-ish in color and looked like a cross between a porcupine and a lollipop. It had three jet black eyes in its midriff. "Tyjoofijoo trotacapoc oobebun, dayeleg loo taprati, kupajip wyclac," the creature said.
"You bet," Marion said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Jump on bit of litter wrench straw bale napkin squeal to countryside," the thing announced.
"Totally rad. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bunoohake stick ghamakejot."
"Why don't you take your stick and shove it in your appendix?" Marion retorted.
The creature looked tactful. "Gymarokoo grycomimel etejig, cizacek," it boomed. "Jydryfuk!" it continued.
"Your face is a jydryfuk!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, intelligent creature; she was feeling unusually brash. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or physician. If she had been carrying a defibrillator, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Byers will be delighted to see you."
The creature reeled slightly and got upset. Then it rose up on its gruesome legs, puffed out its calf and paraded blankly toward her.
For the first time, Marion had the urge to run, but her ego was turning grey and her legs refused to move.
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