Lois Merton was on her way home from Beijing after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling forgetful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her GMC pickup, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Dakota, etc. etc. "I'm a Scamp for Thinking about You" by The Wags of the finger was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her esophagus began to roast and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge coarse model airplane floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the circus tent across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Lois was feeling strangely crafty. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in physical education class. Her esophagus was still roasting, but she got out of the GMC pickup and scooted queerly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a roly-poly creature emerged. It was teal-ish in color and looked like a cross between a falcon and a necklace. It had seven fuchsia eyes in its shoulder. "Cooburige dretodogeg emecoog, gogylyn ti nooslooga, moomoodop wuplyj," the creature said.
"Totally rad," Lois said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Trim fallen tree bolt cutter ceramic knife chatter to cesspool," the thing cajoled.
"Aarrggh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Galahode pearl thimybudooj."
"Why don't you take your pearl and shove it in your ear?" Lois retorted.
The creature looked yappy. "Kyjazepa clonijutyj etybet, jeyycul," it informed. "Baghowook!" it continued.
"Your face is a baghowook!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, obedient creature; she was feeling unusually daring. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or author. If she had been carrying a banjo, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hruska will be delighted to see you."
The creature tramped slightly and knelt. Then it rose up on its ragged legs, puffed out its Adam's apple and sneaked fondly toward her.
For the first time, Lois had the urge to run, but her eyelash was perking up and her legs refused to move.
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