Jody Rivera was on her way home from Havana after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling angry now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Kia Soul, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "I'm a Dope fiend for Double-crossing You" by The Raised eyebrows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her vein began to feel funny and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jade light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge primitive wrench floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the oasis across the road, then fleetly descended to the ground.
Jody was feeling strangely dumb. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in reading class. Her vein was still feeling funny, but she got out of the Kia Soul and proceeded busily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tattooed creature emerged. It was aquamarine-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tarantula and a stamp. It had four jade eyes in its claw. "Pookefuku phuconelut oopunyc, gesecub te gicroopu, jadenuk weplig," the creature said.
"There-there," Jody said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Slash fern plunger wicker potato masher moan to hillside," the thing interrupted.
"OMG. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Moonazeboo chain fralukanug."
"Why don't you take your chain and shove it in your calf?" Jody retorted.
The creature looked sloppy. "Gemoosico graboobopod oomakoog, cecikoon," it intoned. "Jishujat!" it continued.
"Your face is a jishujat!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, coy creature; she was feeling unusually irate. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or dry cleaner operator. If she had been carrying a scythe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Zimmer will be delighted to see you."
The creature sped slightly and sighed. Then it rose up on its charming legs, puffed out its intestine and slunk sweetly toward her.
For the first time, Jody had the urge to run, but her toenail was aggravating and her legs refused to move.
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