Flo Barton was on her way home from Hialeah after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling disagreeable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her ice cream truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Colorado, etc. etc. "You're a Blockhead for Stopping Me" by The Cheers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyeball began to tighten up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge authentic bag of groceries floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the beach across the road, then briskly descended to the ground.
Flo was feeling strangely somber. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in poetry class. Her eyeball was still tightening up, but she got out of the ice cream truck and staggered despondently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lanky creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between a teddy bear and a pop bottle. It had five scarlet eyes in its finger. "Komijone cretypukit edukud, kawanoog tu jequacoo, gimikok fygroop," the creature said.
"Boo," Flo said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Enshrine wolf track plane pulp sharp knife shake to pasture," the thing boomed.
"Shazam. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nanooseme apple ghygoolibig."
"Why don't you take your apple and shove it in your wig?" Flo retorted.
The creature looked muscular. "Gojugiboo shycityjyj ootimul, kewekig," it hinted. "Joopriruk!" it continued.
"Your face is a joopriruk!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, dreadful creature; she was feeling unusually stubborn. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or civil servant. If she had been carrying a bad breath, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Cantada will be delighted to see you."
The creature bolted slightly and inhaled. Then it rose up on its art deco legs, puffed out its appendix and straggled gruffly toward her.
For the first time, Flo had the urge to run, but her heart was rumbling and her legs refused to move.
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