Lorie Lancaster was on her way home from Bozeman after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cunning now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Gremlin, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "You're a Cootieface for Berating Me" by The Raised eyebrows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her waist began to act up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lavender light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge charming telephone book floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the stream across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Lorie was feeling strangely self-confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in environmental science class. Her waist was still acting up, but she got out of the Gremlin and lurched bitterly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a large creature emerged. It was indigo-ish in color and looked like a cross between a sasquatch and a salt shaker. It had seven chartreuse eyes in its spine. "Kegiyyge floogapoojyg oogoomoom, tigynoop moo jabrade, titynyp rishyp," the creature said.
"Ick," Lorie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Face seed pod pair of safety glasses seaweed slotted spoon bawl to glen," the thing stuttered.
"Shoot. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Naliwuko cigarette lighter kropilunad."
"Why don't you take your cigarette lighter and shove it in your paw?" Lorie retorted.
The creature looked disorganized. "Nylecata ghookubojyg ityguk, begapid," it lamented. "Kecroovoc!" it continued.
"Your face is a kecroovoc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, dependable creature; she was feeling unusually nervous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or football coach. If she had been carrying a bayonette, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Xi will be delighted to see you."
The creature slithered slightly and treaded water. Then it rose up on its excellent legs, puffed out its paw and stalked wryly toward her.
For the first time, Lorie had the urge to run, but her gut was getting hot and her legs refused to move.
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