Kathryn Şerban was on her way home from Victoria after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling petulant now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Mercedes, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kentucky, etc. etc. "You're an Eager beaver for Remembering Me" by The Giggles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her gall bladder began to shed and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge magnificent beach ball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the stream across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Kathryn was feeling strangely sarcastic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in aeronautics class. Her gall bladder was still shedding, but she got out of the Mercedes and sauntered blankly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bearded creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lovebird and a bag of popcorn. It had six red eyes in its hip. "Goolewily shedepemod yludooj, cefegoop de jodroby, coogojob votrid," the creature said.
"Fiddlesticks," Kathryn said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Loosen tree branch pair of safety glasses wood electric mixer cry to gulch," the thing warbled.
"Blaak. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tudicoode paper clip broginoomam."
"Why don't you take your paper clip and shove it in your heel?" Kathryn retorted.
The creature looked wily. "Cicusaku flyloopatan yjegood, tyhutig," it gasped. "Lyshuvad!" it continued.
"Your face is a lyshuvad!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, hirsute creature; she was feeling unusually nervous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or surveyor. If she had been carrying a grenade launcher, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Beach will be delighted to see you."
The creature swaggered slightly and meditated. Then it rose up on its gooey legs, puffed out its wrist and marched timidly toward her.
For the first time, Kathryn had the urge to run, but her chest was snapping and her legs refused to move.
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