Francisco McAllister was on his way home from Brasilia after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling puzzled now that the meetings were over. He was driving his unicycle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Texas, etc. etc. "You're a Monster for Kissing Me" by The Belches was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his spine began to bend and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing fuchsia light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge dusty broom floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the ridge across the road, then smoothly descended to the ground.
Francisco was feeling strangely cheerful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in geneaology class. His spine was still bending, but he got out of the unicycle and careened sharply toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a fit creature emerged. It was teal-ish in color and looked like a cross between a ladybug and a magnifying glass. It had six amber eyes in its spine. "Coocuhica gloolodoobil upagat, johybot koo dytruty, milodap vofloc," the creature said.
"Poof," Francisco said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fabricate egg shell screwdriver bark ladle get rigid to mountainside," the thing thought.
"Yippee. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jujyzoojo hockey puck quajitekep."
"Why don't you take your hockey puck and shove it in your horn?" Francisco retorted.
The creature looked enthusiastic. "Lopihota shadatulec imigem, duzibet," it rumored. "Ligrucoog!" it continued.
"Your face is a ligrucoog!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, friendly creature; he was feeling unusually dumb. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or astronomer. If he had been carrying a flashlight, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bromley will be delighted to see you."
The creature waltzed slightly and got away. Then it rose up on its stuffed legs, puffed out its paw and slipped sorrowfully toward him.
For the first time, Francisco had the urge to run, but his thyroid gland was looking funny and his legs refused to move.
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