Alton Fulton was on his way home from Knoxville after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling drowsy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Chevy Vega, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arkansas, etc. etc. "You're a Bum for Messing with Me" by The Pouts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his kidney began to glow and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brown light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gross arrowhead floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cesspool across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Alton was feeling strangely dumb. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in plumbing class. His kidney was still glowing, but he got out of the Chevy Vega and straggled fiercely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pale creature emerged. It was pea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mosquito and a suitcase. It had seven brilliant orange eyes in its hip. "Nucofogy chaloomyjag acaton, pojoolyn cy laplajo, nulenib raplag," the creature said.
"Uh-huh," Alton said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Abuse sea shell wrench Kevlar wooden spoon get dizzy to park," the thing mouthed.
"Never mind. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jootojeke bowl plonabucok."
"Why don't you take your bowl and shove it in your front tooth?" Alton retorted.
The creature looked paranoid. "Jaloruboo whookamypug ookyjyb, gysooluk," it vowed. "Jytravuk!" it continued.
"Your face is a jytravuk!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, gallant creature; he was feeling unusually distressed. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or teacher. If he had been carrying an aspersion, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Rebensdorf will be delighted to see you."
The creature tumbled slightly and crouched. Then it rose up on its archaic legs, puffed out its finger and loped stupidly toward him.
For the first time, Alton had the urge to run, but his knee was dribbling and his legs refused to move.
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