Marvella Snyder was on her way home from Lubbock after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling proud now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Firebird, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "I'm a Quacker for Disparaging You" by The Chuckles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her waist began to snap and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing black light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge colossal primrose floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the river across the road, then passively descended to the ground.
Marvella was feeling strangely peckish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in molecular biology class. Her waist was still snapping, but she got out of the Firebird and stalked resignedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slender creature emerged. It was fuchsia-ish in color and looked like a cross between a yak and a pair of fuzzy dice. It had eight terra cotta eyes in its finger. "Lecajomi whytejynub ootootyg, cazoogon too coquaku, jootokut yufrool," the creature said.
"Good gracious," Marvella said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Chop feather fire extinguisher lead napkin sigh to grassland," the thing sniveled.
"Roger that. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cygegygi spinning wheel wrokucumul."
"Why don't you take your spinning wheel and shove it in your intestine?" Marvella retorted.
The creature looked fearless. "Gubufobo prijajamig ojaput, gihoobig," it whispered. "Bothoojyb!" it continued.
"Your face is a bothoojyb!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, intense creature; she was feeling unusually generous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or courier. If she had been carrying a bazooka, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Armstrong will be delighted to see you."
The creature barrelled slightly and ran away. Then it rose up on its decrepit legs, puffed out its spine and tramped proudly toward her.
For the first time, Marvella had the urge to run, but her shin was relaxing and her legs refused to move.
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