Rosario Black was on his way home from Seattle after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling dapper now that the meetings were over. He was driving his convertible, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "You're a Dummy for Pushing Me" by The Power fists was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his toe began to get sticky and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing magenta light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge striped pack of gum floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the countryside across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Rosario was feeling strangely lazy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in mythology class. His toe was still getting sticky, but he got out of the convertible and whirled wryly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a homely creature emerged. It was metallic red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hippopotamus and a pair of fuzzy dice. It had eight indigo eyes in its shoulder. "Dakoogiji fledycukec udyjik, befudel je boogruko, bykimab gawhoot," the creature said.
"Suffering sassafras," Rosario said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hang seed pod axe post and beam basting brush peep to creek," the thing grieved.
"Shoo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Benyhipo sack of potatoes crolabudeb."
"Why don't you take your sack of potatoes and shove it in your horn?" Rosario retorted.
The creature looked heavyset. "Jodagyki shacoogoojit ynykem, tasojyp," it divulged. "Tiprasuc!" it continued.
"Your face is a tiprasuc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, forgetful creature; he was feeling unusually distressed. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or filmmaker. If he had been carrying a quick retort, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bobble will be delighted to see you."
The creature stormed slightly and yelled. Then it rose up on its hefty legs, puffed out its ego and scurried gingerly toward him.
For the first time, Rosario had the urge to run, but his jaw was jamming up and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter