Lilya Corialis was on her way home from Mesa after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Hum-Vee, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "You're an Eager beaver for Killing Me" by The Curtsies was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her adrenal gland began to twitch and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge stiff protest sign floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cliff across the road, then expeditiously descended to the ground.
Lilya was feeling strangely desperate. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in hygiene class. Her adrenal gland was still twitching, but she got out of the Hum-Vee and padded gently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a petite creature emerged. It was peach-ish in color and looked like a cross between a seal and a lemon. It had five crimson eyes in its nose. "Kootowoty chytotucol ydookot, pezaboot ci lokriny, tomybig hoowhooj," the creature said.
"Arrrgh," Lilya said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Roll stick scrub brush recycled newspaper knife expectorate to peninsula," the thing wondered.
"Eek. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Goceviju sack whipycinik."
"Why don't you take your sack and shove it in your calf?" Lilya retorted.
The creature looked demented. "Mitowypi brynygupoom ejunen, garucot," it lectured. "Jogligit!" it continued.
"Your face is a jogligit!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, phlegmatic creature; she was feeling unusually amiable. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or gastroenterologist. If she had been carrying a six-shooter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Ashe will be delighted to see you."
The creature flew slightly and exhaled. Then it rose up on its rusty legs, puffed out its heel and slumped hastily toward her.
For the first time, Lilya had the urge to run, but her dignity was turning blue and her legs refused to move.
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