Ida Flowers was on her way home from Hannover after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling self-confident now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "You're a Nag for Scaring Me" by The Snarls was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her piehole began to shrink and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge multicolored clarinet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the housing development across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Ida was feeling strangely carefree. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in mechanical engineering class. Her piehole was still shrinking, but she got out of the Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow and flounced nonchalantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a frizzle-headed creature emerged. It was turquoise-ish in color and looked like a cross between a Guinea pig and a rock. It had six tan eyes in its gall bladder. "Nygihecoo ghoolapunyc ynygyn, tugepej je gootraji, joobibib faklem," the creature said.
"Alley oop," Ida said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pat tree stump saw plastic ladle freak out to plain," the thing sobbed.
"Like fun. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lugoocymu chart crokoogoonon."
"Why don't you take your chart and shove it in your artery?" Ida retorted.
The creature looked unselfish. "Panarapo kloolypujun ymocag, kevamip," it rebutted. "Nufrazip!" it continued.
"Your face is a nufrazip!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, decisive creature; she was feeling unusually stubborn. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or computer programmer. If she had been carrying a six-shooter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Holt will be delighted to see you."
The creature made a beeline slightly and lay around in bed. Then it rose up on its damp legs, puffed out its knee and lurched swiftly toward her.
For the first time, Ida had the urge to run, but her eyelash was crawling and her legs refused to move.
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