Eubie Prater was on his way home from Knoxville after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling queer now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Chevy Camaro, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "You're a Poopyface for Making a face at Me" by The Laughs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his thumb began to crack and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jade light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fluffy pop bottle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the badlands area across the road, then moderately descended to the ground.
Eubie was feeling strangely sarcastic. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in business class. His thumb was still cracking, but he got out of the Chevy Camaro and zoomed breathlessly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sleek creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dromedary and a statue. It had four pea green eyes in its toupee. "Gogiwigi brujitylyt ooludit, lyjoonyn ki cechybe, jucidyn coowhoc," the creature said.
"Malarkey," Eubie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hook spring protractor polystyrene piece of cheesecloth quiver to savanna," the thing provoked.
"Phooey. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bynoosopo urn wrydecenyn."
"Why don't you take your urn and shove it in your funny bone?" Eubie retorted.
The creature looked modest. "Lycywija kloodeminat ydoocul, mesoocak," it commented. "Tuthujeb!" it continued.
"Your face is a tuthujeb!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, tense creature; he was feeling unusually cautious. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or songwriter. If he had been carrying a stick of dynamite, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McGraw will be delighted to see you."
The creature bolted slightly and exercised. Then it rose up on its worn legs, puffed out its adrenal gland and dove dolefully toward him.
For the first time, Eubie had the urge to run, but his big toe was whistling and his legs refused to move.
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