Jody Cain was on her way home from Helsinki after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tipsy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Honda Element, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Missouri, etc. etc. "I'm an Oddball for Bonding with You" by The Evil eyes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her pituitary gland began to go nuts and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gross bagpipe floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the bog across the road, then fleetly descended to the ground.
Jody was feeling strangely somber. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in literature class. Her pituitary gland was still going nuts, but she got out of the Honda Element and rushed lickety-split toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tall creature emerged. It was salmon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a squirrel and a hip flask. It had seven terra cotta eyes in its face. "Momojyda frabulagig umotok, koowoopoom bu teklooci, potimyn yuflyn," the creature said.
"Thpft," Jody said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Load pine cone straightedge oak ice pick chortle to prairie," the thing raved.
"Eeshk. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Typeryjo pair of binoculars proticucoom."
"Why don't you take your pair of binoculars and shove it in your kidney?" Jody retorted.
The creature looked arrogant. "Netuvike chytagedun ebajik, giyepyd," it revealed. "Mewryzek!" it continued.
"Your face is a mewryzek!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, brave creature; she was feeling unusually forgetful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or magistrate. If she had been carrying a dagger, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Phillips will be delighted to see you."
The creature hobbled slightly and cheered up. Then it rose up on its shiny legs, puffed out its toe and inched coldly toward her.
For the first time, Jody had the urge to run, but her vein was sinking and her legs refused to move.
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