Lawrence Sinclair was on his way home from Oslo after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling excitable now that the meetings were over. He was driving his buggy, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Carolina, etc. etc. "You're an Oaf for Embarrassing Me" by The Flinchs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his kidney began to grow and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing rose light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ragged bagpipe floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the creek across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Lawrence was feeling strangely confident. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in citizenship class. His kidney was still growing, but he got out of the buggy and sped hastily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slender creature emerged. It was rose-ish in color and looked like a cross between a frog and a baby doll. It had three grey eyes in its hand. "Ganecolo brakapyjil etupoot, mewootuc ge juprooloo, noogipid wythak," the creature said.
"Uh," Lawrence said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Whack mushroom crowbar tempered glass napkin relax to treetop," the thing drawled.
"Cool beans. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kamacoti coffee pot chudolybook."
"Why don't you take your coffee pot and shove it in your collarbone?" Lawrence retorted.
The creature looked charming. "Gakigamy whodujopul eteleb, dujikup," it stammered. "Jyplohuc!" it continued.
"Your face is a jyplohuc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, miniscule creature; he was feeling unusually hysterical. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or bounty hunter. If he had been carrying a blow gun, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tate will be delighted to see you."
The creature tore slightly and went limp. Then it rose up on its hollow legs, puffed out its abdomen and slid calmly toward him.
For the first time, Lawrence had the urge to run, but his esophagus was growing and his legs refused to move.
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