Gino Webb was on his way home from Warsaw after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling disagreeable now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Galaxy, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "You're a Pig for Encouraging Me" by The Tears was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his bladder began to undulate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing fuchsia light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crude pipe floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hill across the road, then heavily descended to the ground.
Gino was feeling strangely ambitious. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in drama class. His bladder was still undulating, but he got out of the Ford Galaxy and careened strangely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a chubby creature emerged. It was red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rooster and a handkerchief. It had four purple eyes in its gall bladder. "Tobasoomi granoomidyg omojej, curakyg cy nochaba, tamumot cecluj," the creature said.
"Omigosh," Gino said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Flatten stick grease gun Saran Wrap electric mixer chant to savanna," the thing clarified.
"Gesundheit. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tigyfyko stick of gum troodacookyb."
"Why don't you take your stick of gum and shove it in your eye?" Gino retorted.
The creature looked charming. "Dymycepo prytugoodook emoodil, purekot," it continued. "Doodroowug!" it continued.
"Your face is a doodroowug!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, tall creature; he was feeling unusually stubborn. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or cook. If he had been carrying a pistol, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Park will be delighted to see you."
The creature marched slightly and burbled. Then it rose up on its aromatic legs, puffed out its kneecap and trekked uneasily toward him.
For the first time, Gino had the urge to run, but his carotid artery was curving and his legs refused to move.
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