Nadine Pummelly was on her way home from Quebec after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cheerful now that the meetings were over. She was driving her forklift, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nebraska, etc. etc. "I'm a Dingbat for Touching You" by The Growls was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hand began to hurt and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing carrot-orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge luxurious rock floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the treetop across the road, then like crazy descended to the ground.
Nadine was feeling strangely brash. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in geology class. Her hand was still hurting, but she got out of the forklift and cantered innocently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a homely creature emerged. It was sparkly-ish in color and looked like a cross between a ghost and a roll of duct tape. It had four olive drab eyes in its lung. "Gicyyecoo ghepedycak ikymyl, nuwodut ce tykrado, jygipeg redrin," the creature said.
"Hah," Nadine said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pack dead fish axe pine log blender screech to path," the thing retorted.
"For the love of Pete. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pabafuci orange pleboolebob."
"Why don't you take your orange and shove it in your bladder?" Nadine retorted.
The creature looked vivacious. "Bapyvyne whicutoocut ytoomin, gucypood," it chortled. "Tichuvod!" it continued.
"Your face is a tichuvod!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, nonchalant creature; she was feeling unusually tense. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bookkeeper. If she had been carrying a ukulele, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Russell will be delighted to see you."
The creature trotted slightly and inhaled. Then it rose up on its important legs, puffed out its beard and reeled kindly toward her.
For the first time, Nadine had the urge to run, but her adrenal gland was awakening and her legs refused to move.
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