Dusty Andrews was on his way home from Birmingham after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. He was driving his shopping cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "I'm a Cream puff for Boring You" by The Hugs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his gall bladder began to float and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing yellow light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gross bag of ice floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the moonscape across the road, then reluctantly descended to the ground.
Dusty was feeling strangely resolute. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Guatemalan history class. His gall bladder was still floating, but he got out of the shopping cart and slunk shyly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an adorable creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dinosaur and a spool of thread. It had eight brown eyes in its thumb. "Nitozopi wrenutyjem abumeb, loocybeb ga gabrunu, koocugum waglot," the creature said.
"Really," Dusty said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grip egg shell staple gun pipe cleaner pair of chopsticks back up to mountaintop," the thing requested.
"Silence. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dutiyyke stopwatch grynijedub."
"Why don't you take your stopwatch and shove it in your skull?" Dusty retorted.
The creature looked passionate. "Nibejega grudalajil ygyjog, koovanaj," it wept. "Kogloorig!" it continued.
"Your face is a kogloorig!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, menacing creature; he was feeling unusually puzzled. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or window washer. If he had been carrying a lance, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Barnes will be delighted to see you."
The creature jogged slightly and peeped. Then it rose up on its gaudy legs, puffed out its funny bone and lumbered strangely toward him.
For the first time, Dusty had the urge to run, but his chest was lining up and his legs refused to move.
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