Jeanne Plummer was on her way home from Washington after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling humble now that the meetings were over. She was driving her cab, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "You're a 'noying for Tricking Me" by The Snickers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her back began to float and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aquamarine light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge immense coconut floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mesa across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Jeanne was feeling strangely dumb. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in potty training class. Her back was still floating, but she got out of the cab and trekked craftily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a grubby creature emerged. It was sparkly-ish in color and looked like a cross between a pig and a lollipop. It had six teal eyes in its Adam's apple. "Nekoyupi groogucocook otoodac, toowejoob joo jiplooto, lolejyk yowhom," the creature said.
"Hold your horses," Jeanne said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grapple spring soldering iron matchstick basting brush grow up to forest," the thing accused.
"Criminy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bobooyulu fossil pletookonoon."
"Why don't you take your fossil and shove it in your waist?" Jeanne retorted.
The creature looked sleek. "Goomyyeji plootoobupoog elulun, posoopag," it stuttered. "Mifriyyn!" it continued.
"Your face is a mifriyyn!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, decisive creature; she was feeling unusually peculiar. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bootlegger. If she had been carrying a dirt clod, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Arp will be delighted to see you."
The creature slunk slightly and burped. Then it rose up on its soft legs, puffed out its nose and marched bravely toward her.
For the first time, Jeanne had the urge to run, but her toupee was burning and her legs refused to move.
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