Hattie Ali was on her way home from Mesa after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tipsy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her mail truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "I'm an Idjit for Yelling at You" by The Flinchs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyeball began to dissolve and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing indigo light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge prickly hubcap floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the battlefield across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Hattie was feeling strangely resolute. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Russian class. Her eyeball was still dissolving, but she got out of the mail truck and breezed haughtily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dainty creature emerged. It was tan-ish in color and looked like a cross between a canary and a clothespin. It had four forest green eyes in its front tooth. "Cepicogy phogacybic emudoj, lusilem nu pishegy, gamedob sooglool," the creature said.
"Wahoo," Hattie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Disguise stone hex key hemp dish cloth snarl to badlands area," the thing burbled.
"Hot dog. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Myjehaji feather shapucodod."
"Why don't you take your feather and shove it in your heel?" Hattie retorted.
The creature looked wizened. "Kepawootoo fritoonoojec ynopej, moyipeb," it fumed. "Teghozoot!" it continued.
"Your face is a teghozoot!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, carefree creature; she was feeling unusually calm. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or jazz musician. If she had been carrying a can opener, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Beversdorf will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and swore. Then it rose up on its woven legs, puffed out its throat and slipped unnaturally toward her.
For the first time, Hattie had the urge to run, but her pride was burbling and her legs refused to move.
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