John Wu was on his way home from Dallas after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling carefree now that the meetings were over. He was driving his donkey cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virginia, etc. etc. "I'm a Dingleberry for Shaking You" by The Face palms was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his horn began to dance and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jade light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fresh piano floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountaintop across the road, then sluggishly descended to the ground.
John was feeling strangely crafty. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in classics class. His horn was still dancing, but he got out of the donkey cart and hobbled merrily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a handsome creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lobster and a twig. It had four beige eyes in its stomach. "Kelirota ghacapabood umoomoob, terokin moo githoco, milatooj yoograb," the creature said.
"Yuck," John said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pinch acorn meat grinder metal pair of tongs bounce to circus tent," the thing brought up.
"Aha. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cojigedi sponge phoculyked."
"Why don't you take your sponge and shove it in your eye?" John retorted.
The creature looked cute. "Dobiroto cloomotacab acatud, gavymon," it lectured. "Jyglufag!" it continued.
"Your face is a jyglufag!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, tense creature; he was feeling unusually brash. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or molecular biologist. If he had been carrying a mosquito net, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Vargas will be delighted to see you."
The creature padded slightly and smiled. Then it rose up on its huge legs, puffed out its forehead and strolled charmingly toward him.
For the first time, John had the urge to run, but his hangnail was creaking and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter