Baldwin Cantrell was on his way home from Seoul after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling peculiar now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Suburu Outback, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "I'm a Laggard for Tattling on You" by The Face palms was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his shoulder began to blister and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge leather pack of gum floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountainside across the road, then deliberately descended to the ground.
Baldwin was feeling strangely cuddly. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in molecular biology class. His shoulder was still blistering, but he got out of the Suburu Outback and skipped valiantly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a short creature emerged. It was magenta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a kitty and a cardboard box. It had three purple eyes in its funny bone. "Tegisoca shejikekoom akynyt, joogokuj jy noodrypu, cujoocug giflac," the creature said.
"Pssst," Baldwin said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Weigh sea shell squeegee bark turkey baster get frazzled to island," the thing invited.
"Holy mackerel. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Becafeli piece of chalk glanacibyp."
"Why don't you take your piece of chalk and shove it in your nose?" Baldwin retorted.
The creature looked pesky. "Pikycodoo clibotojaj ynoojooc, cegadoog," it questioned. "Toochycook!" it continued.
"Your face is a toochycook!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, eccentric creature; he was feeling unusually lazy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or composer. If he had been carrying a quick retort, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Norman will be delighted to see you."
The creature galumphed slightly and jiggled. Then it rose up on its rancid legs, puffed out its tongue and careened sleepily toward him.
For the first time, Baldwin had the urge to run, but his abdomen was growling and his legs refused to move.
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