Fawn Marchetti was on her way home from San Diego after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling distressed now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagon Golf, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Mush-for-brains for Encouraging Me" by The Twitches was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her aorta began to writhe and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive drab light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gaudy baseball floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the buffalo wallow across the road, then speedily descended to the ground.
Fawn was feeling strangely sassy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in dance class. Her aorta was still writhing, but she got out of the Volkswagon Golf and tiptoed temperamentally toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an unkempt creature emerged. It was fuchsia-ish in color and looked like a cross between a boa constrictor and a mirror. It had three emerald green eyes in its cheek. "Nubegame kremetunun ogutuj, kofokoom gi mekloocoo, cookapem zuphoom," the creature said.
"Wowsers," Fawn said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Decontaminate seed pod pipe wrench marble whisk dawdle to cesspool," the thing quoted.
"Mommy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mypycipy model airplane frymudydum."
"Why don't you take your model airplane and shove it in your big toe?" Fawn retorted.
The creature looked talkative. "Kujoojoona flabydedub abypuk, gyzobit," it boasted. "Nikroowej!" it continued.
"Your face is a nikroowej!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, wicked creature; she was feeling unusually lazy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or hit man. If she had been carrying a bad breath, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Porrello will be delighted to see you."
The creature jumped slightly and shrugged. Then it rose up on its expensive legs, puffed out its ear and scooted sadly toward her.
For the first time, Fawn had the urge to run, but her face was sliding and her legs refused to move.
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