Cheryl De Leon was on her way home from Louisville after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling sassy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her U-Haul, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "I'm a Goose for Soothing You" by The Grunts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her neck began to crawl and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aquamarine light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gooey clock floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountainside across the road, then like mad descended to the ground.
Cheryl was feeling strangely woozy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in government class. Her neck was still crawling, but she got out of the U-Haul and proceeded innocently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a haggard creature emerged. It was ivory-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dodo bird and a bicycle. It had five lime-green eyes in its little finger. "Coomusujoo krudanudyd umootet, byfylod go tethoti, lekatad higrop," the creature said.
"Zowie," Cheryl said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Jab wildflower lug wrench old newspaper bare foot fantasize to desert," the thing boomed.
"Brrr. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Coduyoony ball wrotynybook."
"Why don't you take your ball and shove it in your buttocks?" Cheryl retorted.
The creature looked naïve. "Togoyoga glopaloojet alocug, bosonib," it bellowed. "Boslavom!" it continued.
"Your face is a boslavom!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, bold creature; she was feeling unusually funny. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or illustrator. If she had been carrying a billy club, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bede will be delighted to see you."
The creature inched slightly and sneezed. Then it rose up on its multicolored legs, puffed out its kidney and went strictly toward her.
For the first time, Cheryl had the urge to run, but her claw was perspiring and her legs refused to move.
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