Angie Castro was on her way home from Chula Vista after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling fearless now that the meetings were over. She was driving her station wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Delaware, etc. etc. "I'm a Tramp for Greeting You" by The Woofs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her appendix began to quake and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hand-painted stick floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the country meadow across the road, then deliberately descended to the ground.
Angie was feeling strangely irate. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in oceanography class. Her appendix was still quaking, but she got out of the station wagon and sprinted suddenly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sorrowful creature emerged. It was red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lizard and a pipe. It had eight camouflage eyes in its elbow. "Kobefiji chijipoogum otaboon, luyepon me lecrepa, gogabet cashyg," the creature said.
"Indeed," Angie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Select tree wire cutter wood whisk bounce to glen," the thing recited.
"Gee. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dymesudu pack of gum quepogijoot."
"Why don't you take your pack of gum and shove it in your thumb?" Angie retorted.
The creature looked pigeon-toed. "Mogyfita kroomynikoon okikoop, tayonyn," it lectured. "Kebrozooc!" it continued.
"Your face is a kebrozooc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, paranoid creature; she was feeling unusually crafty. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or farmer. If she had been carrying an air rifle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Brinkman will be delighted to see you."
The creature slithered slightly and digested. Then it rose up on its peculiar legs, puffed out its funny bone and galloped fearlessly toward her.
For the first time, Angie had the urge to run, but her gut was shaking and her legs refused to move.
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