Nelda Cleveland was on her way home from Boise after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her U-Haul, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Indiana, etc. etc. "You're a Lunatic for Kicking Me" by The Hugs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her intestine began to go numb and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing indigo light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge electric radio floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hayfield across the road, then nimbly descended to the ground.
Nelda was feeling strangely affable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in hotel management class. Her intestine was still going numb, but she got out of the U-Haul and sallied forth arrogantly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gaunt creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a parakeet and a curling iron. It had three grey eyes in its nose. "Cukirooloo phujanotud epenac, baficub ba deflyloo, nenimol yeglil," the creature said.
"Egad," Nelda said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Stitch feather hair dryer plywood fork fulminate to crime scene," the thing vouched.
"Son of a Baptist preacher. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tojezeju candy bar trubimypoob."
"Why don't you take your candy bar and shove it in your chest?" Nelda retorted.
The creature looked demented. "Titegete shebykobud ykimon, najoobek," it decided. "Guthiwyl!" it continued.
"Your face is a guthiwyl!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, clever creature; she was feeling unusually shy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or web guru. If she had been carrying a piercing stare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Shipman will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and awoke. Then it rose up on its gigantic legs, puffed out its foot and walked rapidly toward her.
For the first time, Nelda had the urge to run, but her hand was getting hairy and her legs refused to move.
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