Dusty Magnusson was on his way home from Rio de Janeiro after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling shy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Chevy Volt, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Colorado, etc. etc. "You're a Devil for Soothing Me" by The Winks was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his chest began to wander and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aqua light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge slimy teddy bear floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the veld across the road, then hastily descended to the ground.
Dusty was feeling strangely decisive. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in ciphering class. His chest was still wandering, but he got out of the Chevy Volt and dashed timidly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a fair creature emerged. It was brilliant orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a polar bear and an air compressor. It had three emerald green eyes in its chin. "Koonevooji flutakoolul edilul, kihunip ba nebropoo, tudimoot hychel," the creature said.
"Hmmm," Dusty said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Overturn dead tree buzz saw rock meat tenderizer jump to neighborhood," the thing whispered.
"There-there. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Coperote coupon slynegyjen."
"Why don't you take your coupon and shove it in your intestine?" Dusty retorted.
The creature looked fearless. "Luloowibu shogekagun oonopul, ticukam," it bragged. "Meprooruj!" it continued.
"Your face is a meprooruj!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, distressed creature; he was feeling unusually sarcastic. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or prisoner. If he had been carrying a torpedo, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Osterman will be delighted to see you."
The creature crawled slightly and grew up. Then it rose up on its damaged legs, puffed out its leg and flounced elatedly toward him.
For the first time, Dusty had the urge to run, but his rib was rising and his legs refused to move.
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