Jason Apple was on his way home from Fullerton after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling lazy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his magic carpet, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wyoming, etc. etc. "You're a Scurvy dog for Arresting Me" by The Hugs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his little finger began to cramp and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge expensive screwdriver floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the country meadow across the road, then like a streak descended to the ground.
Jason was feeling strangely sassy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in German class. His little finger was still cramping, but he got out of the magic carpet and galloped menacingly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a short creature emerged. It was terra cotta-ish in color and looked like a cross between an antelope and an orange. It had seven salmon eyes in its appendix. "Dekoojedoo writabodyg ypapup, barybom me ciclibi, mopoogyp wathog," the creature said.
"Castor and Pollux! Blow me to Bermuda," Jason said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Certify spring garden hoe fairy dust spatula crouch to mountaintop," the thing expressed.
"As if. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jadyfejoo bag of popcorn krejomulip."
"Why don't you take your bag of popcorn and shove it in your belly button?" Jason retorted.
The creature looked crafty. "Loocojonu glipootajyd acoobek, gewykak," it scoffed. "Diclewat!" it continued.
"Your face is a diclewat!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, ignoble creature; he was feeling unusually suave. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or inventor. If he had been carrying a lasso, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Kissling will be delighted to see you."
The creature jogged slightly and grimaced. Then it rose up on its curved legs, puffed out its little finger and sped grandly toward him.
For the first time, Jason had the urge to run, but his earlobe was going nuts and his legs refused to move.
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