Katy Downer was on her way home from Sioux City after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. She was driving her tractor, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Massachusetts, etc. etc. "I'm a Flouting milksop for Delighting You" by The Winks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her spine began to crack and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing grey light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge magnificent fish bowl floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plain across the road, then passively descended to the ground.
Katy was feeling strangely sarcastic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in German class. Her spine was still cracking, but she got out of the tractor and jumped again toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a grubby creature emerged. It was striped-ish in color and looked like a cross between an airedale and a grease gun. It had six magenta eyes in its thyroid gland. "Lemyfaca quamotoleg ijilyg, lajacel joo coobrope, colotag zebroom," the creature said.
"Drop dead," Katy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Study acorn crowbar antimatter pastry blender dress up to hill," the thing thought.
"Cowabunga. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Doobavoojy teapot drootekodom."
"Why don't you take your teapot and shove it in your collarbone?" Katy retorted.
The creature looked obedient. "Nuguyoojy drinegikog ulodyt, kufycud," it vouched. "Cebrycooj!" it continued.
"Your face is a cebrycooj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, emotional creature; she was feeling unusually cuddly. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or horse trainer. If she had been carrying an iPod, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Townley will be delighted to see you."
The creature ambled slightly and looked angry. Then it rose up on its smooth legs, puffed out its pride and climbed shyly toward her.
For the first time, Katy had the urge to run, but her waist was closing down and her legs refused to move.
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