Thomas Higgins was on his way home from Kyoto after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling decisive now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Volkswagen Passat, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "You're a Twerp for Challenging Me" by The Bounds was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his skull began to feel numb and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing metallic red light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge original baseball bat floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the crime scene across the road, then lethargically descended to the ground.
Thomas was feeling strangely resolute. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in drama class. His skull was still feeling numb, but he got out of the Volkswagen Passat and danced sympathetically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an emaciated creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lemur and a teacup. It had five black eyes in its Achilles tendon. "Talacooni crigedookup ejujep, kocugyk go gedruny, jebumon zychob," the creature said.
"Dang it," Thomas said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Taste poison ivy plant laser beam dirt bare foot squeal to ridge," the thing mouthed.
"Neato. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gibyyude candy bar shotemecot."
"Why don't you take your candy bar and shove it in your forehead?" Thomas retorted.
The creature looked colorless. "Tetijyni slutamejoc ynynooc, gewugok," it gasped. "Jaflizet!" it continued.
"Your face is a jaflizet!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, enchanting creature; he was feeling unusually drowsy. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or mathematician. If he had been carrying a spear, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hartley will be delighted to see you."
The creature padded slightly and inhaled. Then it rose up on its filthy legs, puffed out its tummy and straggled carelessly toward him.
For the first time, Thomas had the urge to run, but his neck was ossifying and his legs refused to move.
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