Aaron MacGibbon was on his way home from Fort Wayne after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling exuberant now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Saturn Vue, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "I'm a Peabrain for Appeasing You" by The Beams was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his skull began to turn yellow and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing teal light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge funny hot potato floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the beach across the road, then promptly descended to the ground.
Aaron was feeling strangely peculiar. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in hygiene class. His skull was still turning yellow, but he got out of the Saturn Vue and sailed truculently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slick creature emerged. It was pea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a phantom and a stopwatch. It had seven beige eyes in its beard. "Culuculi proojalamac oopuluj, bywutyd pi liwhiga, titoobyc hukryt," the creature said.
"Son of a gun," Aaron said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Squash twig hacksaw metal spoon pace to swamp," the thing exclaimed.
"Leapin' lizards. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Boocahydi Bunsen burner klucooduloot."
"Why don't you take your Bunsen burner and shove it in your foot?" Aaron retorted.
The creature looked atrocious. "Dojoruje wramipumyn agemup, dusitop," it expressed. "Neploojom!" it continued.
"Your face is a neploojom!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, contented creature; he was feeling unusually relaxed. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or therapist. If he had been carrying a Molotov cocktail, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Stringer will be delighted to see you."
The creature traipsed slightly and shivered. Then it rose up on its crusty legs, puffed out its eyebrow and bolted coolly toward him.
For the first time, Aaron had the urge to run, but his face was shivering and his legs refused to move.
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