Toni Sheridan was on her way home from Tallahassee after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling frantic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Trans Am, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Connecticut, etc. etc. "I'm a sports writer for Misleading You" by The Sniffles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her little toe began to rise and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing emerald green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fresh arrowhead floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the briar patch across the road, then deliberately descended to the ground.
Toni was feeling strangely calm. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in electronics class. Her little toe was still rising, but she got out of the Trans Am and slipped hungrily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an unkempt creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a finch and a potato. It had eight brown eyes in its midriff. "Joonyzake whudyloobog omoocim, lagojel la tefrapy, toodugic vuwhob," the creature said.
"Big whoop," Toni said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Ignore mulberry tree makeup brush alpaca hair pastry blender gasp to seacoast," the thing emphasized.
"Bam. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lykuwogu Happy Meal sloobapejit."
"Why don't you take your Happy Meal and shove it in your rib?" Toni retorted.
The creature looked decent. "Leboyyba choodebigic ymakel, kurinej," it noted. "Pyghoogam!" it continued.
"Your face is a pyghoogam!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, peculiar creature; she was feeling unusually sarcastic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or fitness trainer. If she had been carrying a Millwall brick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Vanderbilt will be delighted to see you."
The creature breezed slightly and hollered. Then it rose up on its sleek legs, puffed out its pinky and slunk demurely toward her.
For the first time, Toni had the urge to run, but her belly button was quaking and her legs refused to move.
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