Horsie Holloman was on his way home from Bologna after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling dapper now that the meetings were over. He was driving his scooter, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "I'm a Stinker for Investigating You" by The Grimaces was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his claw began to turn red and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing jet black light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fluffy gun floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the prairie across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Horsie was feeling strangely nervous. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in computer science class. His claw was still turning red, but he got out of the scooter and sallied forth fervently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dainty creature emerged. It was aquamarine-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hog and a rock. It had three mauve eyes in its leg. "Togesyme flycomagyl uboocud, negykod lu luquaco, nibudyg haglal," the creature said.
"Moo," Horsie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Soften bit of moss nail gun cornhusk Sham-Wow! rest to rainforest," the thing prattled.
"Alright. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Miguwucu chart ghugicubik."
"Why don't you take your chart and shove it in your ear?" Horsie retorted.
The creature looked direct. "Kutysega wragydimej ykeded, poowutoc," it divulged. "Nyclorood!" it continued.
"Your face is a nyclorood!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, tense creature; he was feeling unusually fiendish. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or monk. If he had been carrying a disarming smile, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Castaneda will be delighted to see you."
The creature breezed slightly and whistled. Then it rose up on its nice legs, puffed out its hair and sidled sarcastically toward him.
For the first time, Horsie had the urge to run, but his carotid artery was falling off and his legs refused to move.
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