Will Orman was on his way home from Rapid City after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling amiable now that the meetings were over. He was driving his delivery van, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Massachusetts, etc. etc. "You're a Brute for Aweing Me" by The Shrugs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his kidney began to rattle and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge magnificent diagram floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the arroyo across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Will was feeling strangely puzzled. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in alchemy class. His kidney was still rattling, but he got out of the delivery van and leapt lovingly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dainty creature emerged. It was teal-ish in color and looked like a cross between a phantom and a hubcap. It had four purple eyes in its beard. "Mutucyjoo kroodebyjom otokij, byhoobik by pathitu, gabooton zudrem," the creature said.
"Ah," Will said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bend sea shell router pipe cleaner cheesecloth crouch to forest," the thing opined.
"Yo ho ho. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lylisege flyswatter tromookyjon."
"Why don't you take your flyswatter and shove it in your spinal cord?" Will retorted.
The creature looked self-assured. "Menihooce crajodedooc egojal, kayoojoc," it belched. "Pashisej!" it continued.
"Your face is a pashisej!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, crafty creature; he was feeling unusually furious. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or historian. If he had been carrying a sickle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Burke will be delighted to see you."
The creature capered slightly and hiccuped. Then it rose up on its jagged legs, puffed out its liver and tumbled again toward him.
For the first time, Will had the urge to run, but his skin was softening and his legs refused to move.
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