Jude Fagan was on his way home from Worcester after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling puzzled now that the meetings were over. He was driving his garbage truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of West Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Flouting milksop for Frowning at Me" by The Hiccups was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his skull began to fall off and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge valuable necklace floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountaintop across the road, then actively descended to the ground.
Jude was feeling strangely sarcastic. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Greek class. His skull was still falling off, but he got out of the garbage truck and staggered ruefully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a graceful creature emerged. It was hot pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between an otter and a hair brush. It had two red eyes in its hairdo. "Legerygu slutygajat anoomyd, koohynun pu tiwhoogi, kacocan widrip," the creature said.
"Dadgum," Jude said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Copy acorn sledgehammer corncob blender hiccup to cave," the thing offered.
"Omigosh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jicejapu ruler phynatejig."
"Why don't you take your ruler and shove it in your tail?" Jude retorted.
The creature looked crafty. "Nejacoole pretanydim ylacyc, goorijop," it exclaimed. "Mathezon!" it continued.
"Your face is a mathezon!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, muddled creature; he was feeling unusually forgetful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or rock musician. If he had been carrying a bottle of Tabasco Sauce, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Nixon will be delighted to see you."
The creature swaggered slightly and calculated. Then it rose up on its peculiar legs, puffed out its tummy and slumped smoothly toward him.
For the first time, Jude had the urge to run, but his paw was flushing and his legs refused to move.
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