Chad Ordway was on his way home from Amarillo after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling decisive now that the meetings were over. He was driving his mail truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kentucky, etc. etc. "You're a Hellhound for Frowning at Me" by The Laughs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his brain began to get soft and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lime-green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge plain iPhone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the tundra across the road, then reluctantly descended to the ground.
Chad was feeling strangely lazy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in law enforcement class. His brain was still getting soft, but he got out of the mail truck and capered dolefully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an alert creature emerged. It was maroon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a doggie and a roll of duct tape. It had four black eyes in its esophagus. "Kubehido drapogabot umojon, toosoomat de cycraca, noogojoon yeflun," the creature said.
"Gawwwleeee," Chad said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Switch leaf knife Spanish moss cookie cutter grumble to desert," the thing hissed.
"Buzzards. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Penifyna avocado grejejapik."
"Why don't you take your avocado and shove it in your neck?" Chad retorted.
The creature looked generous. "Lumivyca themenamin odeceb, gyhocuc," it squealed. "Pachyfyg!" it continued.
"Your face is a pachyfyg!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, wizened creature; he was feeling unusually hysterical. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or computer geek. If he had been carrying a spit wad, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Wu will be delighted to see you."
The creature sidled slightly and chortled. Then it rose up on its imitation legs, puffed out its eyebrow and made a beeline quickly toward him.
For the first time, Chad had the urge to run, but his bicep was loosening up and his legs refused to move.
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