Christina Swoopes was on her way home from Bologna after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her black sedan, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Massachusetts, etc. etc. "You're a Sloth for Dating Me" by The Yawns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her eyelid began to slide and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brown light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge well worn fish bowl floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the circus tent across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Christina was feeling strangely sarcastic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in accounting class. Her eyelid was still sliding, but she got out of the black sedan and staggered sorrowfully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tattooed creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lemur and a cigarette lighter. It had six camouflage eyes in its chin. "Tooguwagu froocebupyk ubabap, poozemot ga kacryly, timinyp siflel," the creature said.
"Heck," Christina said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Photograph sea shell fire extinguisher aluminum foil melon baller wince to outback," the thing pronounced.
"Pish posh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Typiyoopu suitcase klimanoopem."
"Why don't you take your suitcase and shove it in your elbow?" Christina retorted.
The creature looked enraged. "Joonevenoo klipekilyp aloobed, coojijok," it whined. "Bechoyool!" it continued.
"Your face is a bechoyool!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sweet creature; she was feeling unusually self-confident. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or pianist. If she had been carrying a flashlight, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Prescott will be delighted to see you."
The creature skittered slightly and waited. Then it rose up on its clean legs, puffed out its lip and cantered nicely toward her.
For the first time, Christina had the urge to run, but her funny bone was tingling and her legs refused to move.
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