Diane Bates was on her way home from Rapid City after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling angry now that the meetings were over. She was driving her hot dog cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "I'm a Boor for Speaking to You" by The Belly laughs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her spleen began to get cold and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge autographed notepad floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cesspool across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Diane was feeling strangely thoughtful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in horticulture class. Her spleen was still getting cold, but she got out of the hot dog cart and scampered anxiously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a winsome creature emerged. It was amber-ish in color and looked like a cross between a doggie and a bilge pump. It had five yellow eyes in its aorta. "Dalygybe slojepytoj ipopood, gewacod po cabranu, joogylel cythel," the creature said.
"Cripes," Diane said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Check weed jack Bakelite wooden spoon tread water to mountain," the thing chattered.
"Jiminy crickets. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jodugiti basket glakudamoc."
"Why don't you take your basket and shove it in your shoulder?" Diane retorted.
The creature looked bald. "Kepifooce crimegoodec icokyg, kuhumam," it warbled. "Mypluyic!" it continued.
"Your face is a mypluyic!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, careful creature; she was feeling unusually proud. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or handyman. If she had been carrying an insect repellant, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Byers will be delighted to see you."
The creature stalked slightly and pondered. Then it rose up on its authentic legs, puffed out its eye and set out strangely toward her.
For the first time, Diane had the urge to run, but her piehole was feeling heavy and her legs refused to move.
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