Sheila Looper was on her way home from Denver after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling amiable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volvo, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Ohio, etc. etc. "You're a Devil for Snuggling with Me" by The Squints was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her larynx began to overheat and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge colossal doily floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountainside across the road, then fleetly descended to the ground.
Sheila was feeling strangely forgetful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in ciphering class. Her larynx was still overheating, but she got out of the Volvo and scooted wearily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a shapely creature emerged. It was lavender-ish in color and looked like a cross between a puma and an arrowhead. It had five navy blue eyes in its knee. "Ganorooka shidooculep yginyp, nigojab bi mooghegu, padijem ficlyb," the creature said.
"Lordy," Sheila said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Tweak poison ivy plant laser beam oil and water dull knife squint to housing development," the thing griped.
"Yow. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Takoogygoo pencil brapunulib."
"Why don't you take your pencil and shove it in your front tooth?" Sheila retorted.
The creature looked carefree. "Cejasoli trycukopac oobedab, busanip," it blurted. "Cewhoohab!" it continued.
"Your face is a cewhoohab!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, fierce creature; she was feeling unusually desperate. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bureaucrat. If she had been carrying an atomic weapon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Greer will be delighted to see you."
The creature crawled slightly and backed up. Then it rose up on its bent legs, puffed out its eyebrow and reeled impatiently toward her.
For the first time, Sheila had the urge to run, but her cheek was getting sticky and her legs refused to move.
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