Cinderella Peters was on her way home from Buenos Aires after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling amiable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Alfa Romeo, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "You're a Doofus for Shunning Me" by The Gurgles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her piehole began to shed and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing red light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge imitation dog biscuit floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the moonscape across the road, then like a streak descended to the ground.
Cinderella was feeling strangely relaxed. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in nutrition class. Her piehole was still shedding, but she got out of the Alfa Romeo and inched doubtfully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blushing creature emerged. It was tan-ish in color and looked like a cross between a penguin and a padlock. It had six blue eyes in its pinky. "Munivopo crucybibig obakit, boojoocug ne miwrity, jiloolob yofluk," the creature said.
"Ultimate," Cinderella said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grasp cactus wire brush Bakelite electric mixer nod to island," the thing snorted.
"Not so fast. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nonooreta can of beans wrikojujen."
"Why don't you take your can of beans and shove it in your arm?" Cinderella retorted.
The creature looked cruel. "Tamasyti shooladyjaj oocabil, lewekom," it intimated. "Bocrygap!" it continued.
"Your face is a bocrygap!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, unruffled creature; she was feeling unusually peckish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or football player. If she had been carrying a can of shaving cream, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President McGill will be delighted to see you."
The creature skidded slightly and sniffled. Then it rose up on its ruined legs, puffed out its knee and scampered proudly toward her.
For the first time, Cinderella had the urge to run, but her waist was getting tired and her legs refused to move.
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