Karl Radcliffe was on his way home from Paris after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling tense now that the meetings were over. He was driving his MG convertible, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "I'm a Slacker for Playing with You" by The Snorts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his head began to get sweaty and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing teal light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hard chess set floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the island across the road, then leadenly descended to the ground.
Karl was feeling strangely humble. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in government class. His head was still getting sweaty, but he got out of the MG convertible and marched truculently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a heavyset creature emerged. It was magenta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a manatee and a cigar. It had six grey eyes in its big toe. "Poonoocijo thodotycum udujud, jiyebyp me gicroji, nonapik huwhid," the creature said.
"Inconceivable," Karl said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Extinguish stone broadaxe grass oven mitt wink to grassy knoll," the thing disputed.
"Crud. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kakygupu yo-yo bredepykig."
"Why don't you take your yo-yo and shove it in your eye?" Karl retorted.
The creature looked happy. "Miluhety frenyloonid ujedoog, poowynad," it shuddered. "Dakryzup!" it continued.
"Your face is a dakryzup!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, shy creature; he was feeling unusually resolute. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or coroner. If he had been carrying an air horn, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Nelson will be delighted to see you."
The creature sneaked slightly and squinted. Then it rose up on its wooden legs, puffed out its pinky and tore fearfully toward him.
For the first time, Karl had the urge to run, but his leg was going to pieces and his legs refused to move.
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