Clyde Thurston was on his way home from Jackson after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling puzzled now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Nissan Versa, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "I'm a Troglodyte for Hugging You" by The Raised eyebrows was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his foot began to flush and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brilliant orange light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge stiff pain pill floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the briar patch across the road, then hastily descended to the ground.
Clyde was feeling strangely lazy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in astrology class. His foot was still flushing, but he got out of the Nissan Versa and proceeded roughly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a youthful creature emerged. It was fuchsia-ish in color and looked like a cross between a snake and a dollhouse. It had three sparkly eyes in its horn. "Loojozaji quubadoogyc upapok, picicig ba juphyma, damotug wiploon," the creature said.
"Shoot," Clyde said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Soak wildflower punch tile whisk murmur to meadow," the thing urged.
"Brrr. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jedohejy map plicaganij."
"Why don't you take your map and shove it in your spinal cord?" Clyde retorted.
The creature looked stinky. "Gepagota glytibidit yjynook, dacupood," it panted. "Mooprehib!" it continued.
"Your face is a mooprehib!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, silly creature; he was feeling unusually nervous. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or civil servant. If he had been carrying an air freshener, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Frizzlewump will be delighted to see you."
The creature sprinted slightly and whistled. Then it rose up on its wooden legs, puffed out its hangnail and crept effortlessly toward him.
For the first time, Clyde had the urge to run, but his Achilles tendon was burning and his legs refused to move.
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