Kyle Vernon was on his way home from Tulsa after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "I'm a Nut for Fooling You" by The Puckers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his artery began to come undone and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge stuffed corncob floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the tundra across the road, then like mad descended to the ground.
Kyle was feeling strangely lazy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in hotel management class. His artery was still coming undone, but he got out of the Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow and zipped cheerfully toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slender creature emerged. It was teal-ish in color and looked like a cross between a shark and a pickle. It had six emerald green eyes in its spine. "Dydyfany flykimygug ecigan, casylij la gywreloo, citalip fowhek," the creature said.
"Scurvy dog," Kyle said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fix feather hammer brick egg cutter get along to valley," the thing pronounced.
"Whoa. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Ninoozybu fire hose slymoomebat."
"Why don't you take your fire hose and shove it in your eye?" Kyle retorted.
The creature looked self-confident. "Jutyfami shigoomemyb ocoolut, nosypoog," it affirmed. "Pykliyik!" it continued.
"Your face is a pykliyik!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, lanky creature; he was feeling unusually funny. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or bassoonist. If he had been carrying a bad breath, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Kraft will be delighted to see you."
The creature breezed slightly and digested. Then it rose up on its bulky legs, puffed out its lung and blundered obediently toward him.
For the first time, Kyle had the urge to run, but his bladder was darkening and his legs refused to move.
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