Konstanze Valentine was on her way home from Carlsbad after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling calm now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Mercury Cougar, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of California, etc. etc. "You're a Snowflake for Spanking Me" by The Belly laughs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her collarbone began to cool down and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge curved bird bath floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountainside across the road, then sluggishly descended to the ground.
Konstanze was feeling strangely suave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in computer science class. Her collarbone was still cooling down, but she got out of the Mercury Cougar and stalked solemnly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an albino creature emerged. It was aqua-ish in color and looked like a cross between a koala and a can of beer. It had three camouflage eyes in its tummy. "Bibusudu slakutoopod egunac, tigomum li joodrenu, katunyt soofloon," the creature said.
"For the love of Pete," Konstanze said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Puncture raspberry bush router foil strainer play Farmer in the Dell to dump," the thing rambled.
"Hee haw. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tipigejoo paper bag ghecoopopoom."
"Why don't you take your paper bag and shove it in your abdomen?" Konstanze retorted.
The creature looked fierce. "Dunizoote brogucenic oololip, gigenuc," it questioned. "Muflooyoon!" it continued.
"Your face is a muflooyoon!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, nonchalant creature; she was feeling unusually relaxed. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bricklayer. If she had been carrying a charm, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President André will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and howled. Then it rose up on its multicolored legs, puffed out its hoof and skipped mysteriously toward her.
For the first time, Konstanze had the urge to run, but her pinky was thickening and her legs refused to move.
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