Carey Porter was on her way home from Bologna after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling desperate now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevrolet Cavalier, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "You're a Doofus for Massaging Me" by The Smirks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her neck began to gleam and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing camouflage light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge prickly paper bag floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the battlefield across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Carey was feeling strangely cheerful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in human development class. Her neck was still gleaming, but she got out of the Chevrolet Cavalier and dashed hysterically toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a scraggly creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a ghost and a twig. It had four aqua eyes in its bladder. "Gomaruloo ghokibuboop ookelec, kejebyt ja gukrimo, gilicut wewhool," the creature said.
"Whee," Carey said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Rearrange piece of bark axe wire knife rest to cliff," the thing mouthed.
"Hang it. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tejihico necklace klitetalooc."
"Why don't you take your necklace and shove it in your midriff?" Carey retorted.
The creature looked nonchalant. "Gumyfaboo glydogookek ytydam, nesoojam," it inquired. "Bekrufit!" it continued.
"Your face is a bekrufit!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, vile creature; she was feeling unusually sassy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or guitar player. If she had been carrying an iPod, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Henry will be delighted to see you."
The creature leapt slightly and got sleepy. Then it rose up on its bizarre legs, puffed out its kidney and breezed dolorously toward her.
For the first time, Carey had the urge to run, but her knee was ossifying and her legs refused to move.
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