Alberta Comstad was on her way home from Hannover after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling awkward now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevrolet Impala, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "You're a Lackwit for Sitting on Me" by The Snuffles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her leg began to go to pieces and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive drab light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge sophisticated button floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plain across the road, then diligently descended to the ground.
Alberta was feeling strangely fiendish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in botany class. Her leg was still going to pieces, but she got out of the Chevrolet Impala and sidled unexpectedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an eye-catching creature emerged. It was green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a manatee and a clam. It had five periwinkle eyes in its toupee. "Cijawalo wrimocykyc ootiguj, mygylam ba bocryla, cyjebak vooclac," the creature said.
"Peachy-keen," Alberta said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Stain dead fish roll of duct tape masonry potato peeler grunt to mountain," the thing jeered.
"Aaah. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tigooryme pencil flapunoogyn."
"Why don't you take your pencil and shove it in your forehead?" Alberta retorted.
The creature looked sociable. "Lujogujo plibekatyl oodelol, giyijoop," it snorted. "Duclesol!" it continued.
"Your face is a duclesol!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, perky creature; she was feeling unusually shy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or cobbler. If she had been carrying a hand grenade, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Orwell will be delighted to see you."
The creature barrelled slightly and looked puzzled. Then it rose up on its woven legs, puffed out its piehole and swaggered suspiciously toward her.
For the first time, Alberta had the urge to run, but her ankle was shrinking and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter