Patricia Roberts was on her way home from Florence after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling awkward now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Rolls-Royce Phantom, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Michigan, etc. etc. "You're a Harebrain for Challenging Me" by The Wrinkled noses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her paw began to blossom and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gaudy Barbie doll floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hill across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
Patricia was feeling strangely lethargic. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in horticulture class. Her paw was still blossoming, but she got out of the Rolls-Royce Phantom and blundered oddly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a demonic creature emerged. It was brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a hog and a flashlight. It had three jet black eyes in its stomach. "Cygorole granykucyj agopan, novolan da cycloonoo, dyboonyb vebrec," the creature said.
"Whoop-dee-doo," Patricia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Neglect flower whisk broom old bone whisk clatter to bog," the thing acknowledged.
"Holy frijole. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dimoocako garbage can drookajubuj."
"Why don't you take your garbage can and shove it in your brain?" Patricia retorted.
The creature looked cunning. "Keduzago klopoodoomig ikojood, dizekoon," it roared. "Tiphovyb!" it continued.
"Your face is a tiphovyb!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, phlegmatic creature; she was feeling unusually dapper. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or appliance repairman. If she had been carrying a hammer, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President North will be delighted to see you."
The creature tiptoed slightly and inhaled. Then it rose up on its dirty legs, puffed out its calf and crept suspiciously toward her.
For the first time, Patricia had the urge to run, but her jaw was crumbling and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter