Rock Grady was on his way home from Fort Worth after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. He was driving his dog cart, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "You're a Birdbrain for Educating Me" by The Pouts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his tooth began to act up and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing magenta light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crusty twig floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the neighborhood across the road, then smoothly descended to the ground.
Rock was feeling strangely puzzled. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in calculus class. His tooth was still acting up, but he got out of the dog cart and sidled menacingly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a shapely creature emerged. It was navy blue-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gazelle and a Bunsen burner. It had five navy blue eyes in its pinky. "Boocywyjoo ghulunajej ajyteg, gorybyk noo logloopa, cijibud fooglook," the creature said.
"Very interesting," Rock said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Sand bird's nest trowel linoleum pair of chopsticks blush to veld," the thing instructed.
"Oh please. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Damugily billiard ball whyjilenoob."
"Why don't you take your billiard ball and shove it in your wig?" Rock retorted.
The creature looked nervous. "Bubooyuke shubitydag unoomap, tagipen," it chanted. "Doghoosap!" it continued.
"Your face is a doghoosap!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, atrocious creature; he was feeling unusually suave. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or lifeguard. If he had been carrying a blow gun, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Noon will be delighted to see you."
The creature marched slightly and grunted. Then it rose up on its polka-dotted legs, puffed out its chin and pranced narrowly toward him.
For the first time, Rock had the urge to run, but his carotid artery was dripping and his legs refused to move.
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