Cindi Hopkins was on her way home from Las Vegas after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling timid now that the meetings were over. She was driving her MG Midget, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Iowa, etc. etc. "You're a Tramp for Ridiculing Me" by The Curtsies was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her front tooth began to get moist and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing beige light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge electronic knitting needle floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the tundra across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
Cindi was feeling strangely ambitious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in accounting class. Her front tooth was still getting moist, but she got out of the MG Midget and swaggered resignedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a gaunt creature emerged. It was salmon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dinosaur and a piece of chalk. It had two sparkly eyes in its hand. "Nookojadu shynoogojyd ujecig, macumood lo koobrege, mijygoj fooklep," the creature said.
"My my," Cindi said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Smudge poison ivy plant mallet taffy whisk seethe to mountaintop," the thing burbled.
"Nonsense. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kiloowoogo Happy Meal quijomocet."
"Why don't you take your Happy Meal and shove it in your little toe?" Cindi retorted.
The creature looked insane. "Jebuzijoo quajebedam opepej, cigogug," it noted. "Doglijyg!" it continued.
"Your face is a doglijyg!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, noble creature; she was feeling unusually sober. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or filmmaker. If she had been carrying a hand sanitizer, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Stine will be delighted to see you."
The creature waltzed slightly and meowed. Then it rose up on its weird legs, puffed out its hair and slipped anxiously toward her.
For the first time, Cindi had the urge to run, but her hair was rattling and her legs refused to move.
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