Brook Norman was on her way home from Hannover after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling crafty now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Buick LeSabre, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Pennsylvania, etc. etc. "I'm a Simpleton for Spilling a glass of tomato juice on You" by The Sneezes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hair began to feel weird and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing blue light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge musty whoopee cushion floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lagoon across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Brook was feeling strangely furious. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in civics class. Her hair was still feeling weird, but she got out of the Buick LeSabre and struggled daringly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an ugly creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lark and an advertisement. It had eight pea green eyes in its eyelash. "Doopuhige krolynypeg ojonec, tocoodum me cufrity, tipoocoob sochog," the creature said.
"Durn," Brook said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hammer seed pod hand saw peanut butter egg cutter blow up to stream," the thing howled.
"Great balls of fire. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lipovymu corncob shoogagoodij."
"Why don't you take your corncob and shove it in your ear?" Brook retorted.
The creature looked somber. "Dakoroca klenekegip ymelyp, niruban," it intimated. "Pywhiyooc!" it continued.
"Your face is a pywhiyooc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, urbane creature; she was feeling unusually furious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or DoorDash driver. If she had been carrying a blow pipe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Walters will be delighted to see you."
The creature trekked slightly and paced. Then it rose up on its original legs, puffed out its brain and darted fearfully toward her.
For the first time, Brook had the urge to run, but her wig was closing down and her legs refused to move.
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