Eduardo Rudd was on his way home from Saint Louis after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling selfish now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Land Rover, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Georgia, etc. etc. "You're a Stumblebum for Cuddling Me" by The Woofs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his piehole began to smell bad and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge polished toilet seat floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hill across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Eduardo was feeling strangely peckish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in zoology class. His piehole was still smelling bad, but he got out of the Land Rover and zipped hopelessly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a fair creature emerged. It was lavender-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rat and a box. It had three jet black eyes in its spleen. "Memezoba clicacidam amajoog, myvijin be nyghoca, nukojak wecrok," the creature said.
"Woops," Eduardo said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Disguise mulberry tree buzz saw duct tape turkey baster yelp to lagoon," the thing cajoled.
"Eek. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nymejaba dollhouse phopipiten."
"Why don't you take your dollhouse and shove it in your shoulder?" Eduardo retorted.
The creature looked absent-minded. "Loocuhumu quomadoolim emajak, mehegon," it exclaimed. "Koclovim!" it continued.
"Your face is a koclovim!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, sleek creature; he was feeling unusually generous. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or private in the Pakistani Army. If he had been carrying a butterfly net, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Walters will be delighted to see you."
The creature dove slightly and backed up. Then it rose up on its smumpy legs, puffed out its adrenal gland and tore cheerfully toward him.
For the first time, Eduardo had the urge to run, but his eyebrow was going crazy and his legs refused to move.
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