Drew Buckley was on his way home from Houston after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling resolute now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Pontiac Firebird, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of South Dakota, etc. etc. "You're an Idiot for Judging Me" by The Glares was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his eye began to hurt and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing emerald green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge imitation clock floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the arroyo across the road, then screamingly descended to the ground.
Drew was feeling strangely cuddly. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in baking class. His eye was still hurting, but he got out of the Pontiac Firebird and crawled surreptitiously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an undersized creature emerged. It was orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a fawn and a pain pill. It had five brilliant orange eyes in its eye. "Dybosoly crebagupek adykyk, jijipooj ce goobrogy, tybenok wooglol," the creature said.
"Freaky," Drew said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unbutton egg shell fingernail clipper linoleum spatula carry on to moonscape," the thing pronounced.
"Nope. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bakejybi hand puppet froomilikoot."
"Why don't you take your hand puppet and shove it in your skin?" Drew retorted.
The creature looked prickly. "Jujowyto croomemumat ipoled, jeyukum," it interrupted. "Goophurig!" it continued.
"Your face is a goophurig!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, colorless creature; he was feeling unusually angry. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or network administrator. If he had been carrying a hammer, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Cheetham will be delighted to see you."
The creature dashed slightly and fidgeted. Then it rose up on its art deco legs, puffed out its scalp and waded recklessly toward him.
For the first time, Drew had the urge to run, but his Adam's apple was feeling funny and his legs refused to move.
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