Nellie Tucker was on her way home from Guadalajara after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling somber now that the meetings were over. She was driving her police car, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arizona, etc. etc. "I'm a So-and-so for Damaging You" by The Sniffs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her jaw began to get scaly and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing khaki light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge bronze vacuum cleaner floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cornfield across the road, then briskly descended to the ground.
Nellie was feeling strangely affable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Samoan class. Her jaw was still getting scaly, but she got out of the police car and padded victoriously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a redheaded creature emerged. It was peach-ish in color and looked like a cross between a crow and a magnifying glass. It had two lavender eyes in its hip. "Gutisymi tholubudon emopoom, lurijid dy jibrukoo, pilebud fapluk," the creature said.
"Alas," Nellie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Polish stone paintbrush epoxy dish cloth quiver to gulch," the thing trumpeted.
"Beats me. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pootecogu toolbox quonoojoboon."
"Why don't you take your toolbox and shove it in your spinal cord?" Nellie retorted.
The creature looked childish. "Titirooby brumukalik omoocum, bohylik," it pleaded. "Myghoowop!" it continued.
"Your face is a myghoowop!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, affable creature; she was feeling unusually humble. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or auto mechanic. If she had been carrying a six-shooter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Kramer will be delighted to see you."
The creature sailed slightly and shook. Then it rose up on its modern legs, puffed out its big toe and slipped woefully toward her.
For the first time, Nellie had the urge to run, but her arm was looking strange and her legs refused to move.
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