Pearl Suzuki was on her way home from Glendale after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cunning now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Kia Rio, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Hawaii, etc. etc. "You're a Fanatic for Maligning Me" by The Wrinkled noses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her piehole began to get stiff and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing forest green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge brightly-colored carrot floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the veld across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Pearl was feeling strangely distressed. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in science class. Her piehole was still getting stiff, but she got out of the Kia Rio and lurched confidently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a ruddy creature emerged. It was jade-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mare and a pail. It had three forest green eyes in its front tooth. "Kapocydi drotodygac unanot, cusadij co piplimo, kenamit roodrub," the creature said.
"Marvelous," Pearl said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Dislodge apple tree garden hoe flour paste spoon jump to beach," the thing decided.
"You don't say. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gakoohijy fingernail clipper quyketoolyn."
"Why don't you take your fingernail clipper and shove it in your midriff?" Pearl retorted.
The creature looked bad. "Jumosoja klykookydoc edonoob, pyhumok," it squealed. "Jebrezib!" it continued.
"Your face is a jebrezib!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, ladylike creature; she was feeling unusually shy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or ice skater. If she had been carrying an insult, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Baird will be delighted to see you."
The creature crept slightly and fulminated. Then it rose up on its charming legs, puffed out its knuckle and cantered glibly toward her.
For the first time, Pearl had the urge to run, but her hand was perspiring and her legs refused to move.
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