Marya Suzuki was on her way home from Halifax after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lazy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her magic carpet, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "You're a Geek for Leaving Me" by The Sneezes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her intestine began to crumble and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing mauve light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gross teddy bear floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the outback across the road, then imperceptibly descended to the ground.
Marya was feeling strangely shy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in citizenship class. Her intestine was still crumbling, but she got out of the magic carpet and skidded uneasily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a youthful creature emerged. It was magenta-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lizard and a notebook. It had six lime-green eyes in its nose. "Dipewegoo shootiputem ymicup, poojenut du poophide, looditool zocrat," the creature said.
"Bless you," Marya said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Strengthen dead fish fingernail clipper onyx bare foot wink to grassland," the thing blurted.
"Optimum. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lapazipoo mop broolitoodoob."
"Why don't you take your mop and shove it in your stomach?" Marya retorted.
The creature looked muscular. "Kujisupa trobakoopyp ymapij, logokim," it ranted. "Mooklesab!" it continued.
"Your face is a mooklesab!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, peculiar creature; she was feeling unusually self-confident. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or butcher. If she had been carrying a parlor trick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Eastwood will be delighted to see you."
The creature rolled slightly and cheered up. Then it rose up on its striking legs, puffed out its rib and trekked calmly toward her.
For the first time, Marya had the urge to run, but her femur was turning around and her legs refused to move.
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