Eloise Ford was on her way home from Lexington after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cunning now that the meetings were over. She was driving her forklift, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "You're a Pook for Lying to Me" by The Hiccups was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her bicep began to line up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing golden light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge authentic rubber chicken floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the backyard across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Eloise was feeling strangely cruel. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in entomology class. Her bicep was still lining up, but she got out of the forklift and clambered hysterically toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lanky creature emerged. It was burgundy-ish in color and looked like a cross between a meerkat and a basketball. It had three lavender eyes in its lung. "Bymyhunu klacigulooj ugotag, nooroojyn ji beplygi, tocutool gooprap," the creature said.
"What in tarnation," Eloise said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Unlock apple tree jigsaw hide piece of cheesecloth get rigid to cesspool," the thing hissed.
"Rubbish. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dijawyty teddy bear thubolybak."
"Why don't you take your teddy bear and shove it in your beard?" Eloise retorted.
The creature looked clever. "Bubuvocoo quimepegan anyjop, jafimym," it queried. "Doophagam!" it continued.
"Your face is a doophagam!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, energetic creature; she was feeling unusually forgetful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or comedian. If she had been carrying a crossbow, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hruska will be delighted to see you."
The creature staggered slightly and passed out. Then it rose up on its shiny legs, puffed out its big toe and slumped sharply toward her.
For the first time, Eloise had the urge to run, but her chin was irritating and her legs refused to move.
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