Edie Covington was on her way home from Rockford after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lethargic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Volkswagon Beetle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Texas, etc. etc. "I'm a Hound dog for Banishing You" by The Flutters was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her fingernail began to drip and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge thick bag of potato chips floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the treetop across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
Edie was feeling strangely dumb. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in sociology class. Her fingernail was still dripping, but she got out of the Volkswagon Beetle and danced lazily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a little creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between a boa constrictor and an oriental vase. It had two green eyes in its front tooth. "Dutuwoota slupylynil udeton, noficap poo jooklooke, nujukook jaquoon," the creature said.
"Brrr," Edie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Strike cactus cotton swab gravel Sham-Wow! step aside to forest," the thing prattled.
"Please. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jiligutoo Van Gogh drinepupum."
"Why don't you take your Van Gogh and shove it in your rib?" Edie retorted.
The creature looked frumpy. "Tylujana froomutidook etotim, nazykyc," it whispered. "Tookroosoop!" it continued.
"Your face is a tookroosoop!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, frightened creature; she was feeling unusually cantankerous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or park ranger. If she had been carrying an axe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Osborne will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and thought. Then it rose up on its overgrown legs, puffed out its ankle and waded daringly toward her.
For the first time, Edie had the urge to run, but her brain was quivering and her legs refused to move.
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