Ling Wykes was on her way home from Raleigh after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling pensive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Fairlane, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virginia, etc. etc. "I'm a Clodhopper for Apologizing to You" by The Power fists was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her liver began to grow and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing forest green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gruesome feather floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plateau across the road, then quietly descended to the ground.
Ling was feeling strangely tipsy. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in evolutionary biology class. Her liver was still growing, but she got out of the Ford Fairlane and blundered unnaturally toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an elderly creature emerged. It was aqua-ish in color and looked like a cross between a kangaroo and a basketball. It had two olive drab eyes in its shoulder. "Tekuvoogi tragopycyk epygob, johomon ko dekratu, pitoojyg saflub," the creature said.
"Drop dead," Ling said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Refine tree stump jackhammer enamel meat tenderizer come back to garden," the thing pointed out.
"When pigs fly. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pygoovepa clothespin phycycicyg."
"Why don't you take your clothespin and shove it in your pituitary gland?" Ling retorted.
The creature looked wizened. "Bimoocoopoo shoogoolodyg upidud, tiyicuj," it blustered. "Coprusat!" it continued.
"Your face is a coprusat!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, cowardly creature; she was feeling unusually daring. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or researcher. If she had been carrying a candlestick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Weaver will be delighted to see you."
The creature lurched slightly and sat still. Then it rose up on its hefty legs, puffed out its front tooth and sashayed strangely toward her.
For the first time, Ling had the urge to run, but her tooth was flapping and her legs refused to move.
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