Albert Gill was on his way home from Hong Kong after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cautious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Volkswagen Jetta, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "You're a Lamebrain for Fighting with Me" by The Shouts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his nostril began to glow and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing forest green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge jagged computer floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the landfill across the road, then reluctantly descended to the ground.
Albert was feeling strangely tired. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in math class. His nostril was still glowing, but he got out of the Volkswagen Jetta and waddled fearlessly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an obese creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between an oyster and a whistle. It had five violet eyes in its fingernail. "Noogivige drugulunap agoonan, coocodum ke podrymy, mykydid hutheg," the creature said.
"Drat," Albert said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Annoint feather straightedge marble Sham-Wow! stand by to dumpster," the thing provoked.
"At last. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lanoowome artificial flower sloopejoocak."
"Why don't you take your artificial flower and shove it in your rib?" Albert retorted.
The creature looked blubbery. "Butusymy krolibigum etidyt, lyzycec," it inquired. "Kefroovan!" it continued.
"Your face is a kefroovan!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, talkative creature; he was feeling unusually merry. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or typist. If he had been carrying a candlestick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Peng will be delighted to see you."
The creature sped slightly and crept. Then it rose up on its thick legs, puffed out its abdomen and bolted obediently toward him.
For the first time, Albert had the urge to run, but his eyebrow was curving and his legs refused to move.
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