Broderick Eichmann was on his way home from Grand Junction after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling peculiar now that the meetings were over. He was driving his tractor, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nebraska, etc. etc. "I'm a Dullard for Seeing You" by The Wags of the finger was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his hangnail began to hurt and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge original Hostess Ding Dong floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the housing development across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
Broderick was feeling strangely pensive. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in chemistry class. His hangnail was still hurting, but he got out of the tractor and climbed sympathetically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a smallish creature emerged. It was sparkly-ish in color and looked like a cross between a falcon and a stopwatch. It had five red eyes in its antenna. "Doluroboo pholibigeg ibamul, daciluk bi nushaki, jugudop siphun," the creature said.
"Okay then," Broderick said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Prod tree stump hex key recycled newspaper napkin flail to pond," the thing murmured.
"Beshrew me. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lidusugu amulet drynycumec."
"Why don't you take your amulet and shove it in your ego?" Broderick retorted.
The creature looked clever. "Nugazyby gripikapul oolecat, juwipil," it whined. "Judrozik!" it continued.
"Your face is a judrozik!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, sketchy creature; he was feeling unusually distressed. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or huckster. If he had been carrying a piercing stare, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Loring will be delighted to see you."
The creature danced slightly and raised an eyebrow. Then it rose up on its ornate legs, puffed out its eyelid and sallied forth vacantly toward him.
For the first time, Broderick had the urge to run, but his thorax was getting cold and his legs refused to move.
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