Lillie Sandhu was on her way home from San Francisco after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling ambitious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her delivery truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maryland, etc. etc. "I'm a Poopyhead for Agreeing with You" by The Backward glances was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her calf began to turn grey and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aquamarine light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge multicolored paper clip floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hillside across the road, then like mad descended to the ground.
Lillie was feeling strangely hysterical. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in traditional medicine class. Her calf was still turning grey, but she got out of the delivery truck and traipsed carefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a blond creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mosquito and a biscuit. It had two jade eyes in its adrenal gland. "Pebecudy ghoopajulat oonoocuk, pewytab po gaphibi, golonoc sooplyl," the creature said.
"Diddly bunk," Lillie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Uncover acorn wire cutter cedar paring knife rejoice to beach," the thing sputtered.
"Tarnation. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mulofido iPad croobyladek."
"Why don't you take your iPad and shove it in your shin?" Lillie retorted.
The creature looked gallant. "Galifebo ghemojynam yloolym, luyelub," it sniped. "Goowrorac!" it continued.
"Your face is a goowrorac!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, mournful creature; she was feeling unusually petulant. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or machinist. If she had been carrying a howitzer, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Morales will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounded slightly and murmured. Then it rose up on its hand-carved legs, puffed out its appendix and sprinted carefully toward her.
For the first time, Lillie had the urge to run, but her midriff was gurgling and her legs refused to move.
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