Yolanda Harris was on her way home from Oceanside after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling ambitious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her station wagon, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nevada, etc. etc. "You're a Wuss for Opposing Me" by The Titters was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her jaw began to sweat and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge brittle coupon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cliff across the road, then listlessly descended to the ground.
Yolanda was feeling strangely fiendish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in cartography class. Her jaw was still sweating, but she got out of the station wagon and trekked irritably toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a curvy creature emerged. It was pea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tsetse fly and a corsage. It had four maroon eyes in its nostril. "Jiluwebu thopoogoopek imymej, cafikec dy noofryga, budaben zookloj," the creature said.
"Stoked," Yolanda said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fortify fish hammer linen knife freak out to glen," the thing cajoled.
"Yahoo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kijorumi pom-pom slugagumym."
"Why don't you take your pom-pom and shove it in your adrenal gland?" Yolanda retorted.
The creature looked gargantuan. "Nilizeki ghybibepul aculup, buzakab," it yawned. "Mudrerak!" it continued.
"Your face is a mudrerak!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, dapper creature; she was feeling unusually awkward. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or accountant. If she had been carrying a cannon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Pough will be delighted to see you."
The creature strode slightly and nodded. Then it rose up on its valuable legs, puffed out its lip and sashayed roughly toward her.
For the first time, Yolanda had the urge to run, but her piehole was blossoming and her legs refused to move.
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