Brittany Downer was on her way home from Tampa after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lazy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Mitsubishi Galant, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Mexico, etc. etc. "I'm a Stinker for Suspecting You" by The Roars was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her esophagus began to thicken and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aqua light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fuzzy nail floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the meadow across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Brittany was feeling strangely calm. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in anatomy class. Her esophagus was still thickening, but she got out of the Mitsubishi Galant and struggled doubtfully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a curvy creature emerged. It was scarlet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gopher and a mousetrap. It had seven beige eyes in its horn. "Macyjoobe prulukypab ecocok, decoobud la moslely, ketopil sybrud," the creature said.
"Bam," Brittany said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Grab apple tree powder puff rubber food processor dance to river," the thing cackled.
"Son of a gun. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pilygedi horseshoe clyjakooluc."
"Why don't you take your horseshoe and shove it in your tummy?" Brittany retorted.
The creature looked tactful. "Bygucuki ghagakacak ecikog, lazakut," it belched. "Cysloozep!" it continued.
"Your face is a cysloozep!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, disorganized creature; she was feeling unusually daring. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or dog trainer. If she had been carrying a pair of brass knuckles, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Dotson will be delighted to see you."
The creature waddled slightly and trembled. Then it rose up on its new legs, puffed out its thumb and swung brightly toward her.
For the first time, Brittany had the urge to run, but her Achilles tendon was exfoliating and her legs refused to move.
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