Elsie Yager was on her way home from Singapore after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling impish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Mercedes, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Missouri, etc. etc. "I'm a Dolt for Greeting You" by The Shouts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her toe began to get cold and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing tan light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ancient bottle of painkillers floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the backyard across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Elsie was feeling strangely generous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in painting class. Her toe was still getting cold, but she got out of the Mercedes and galloped greedily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tiny creature emerged. It was purple-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bison and a flower. It had four olive green eyes in its antenna. "Kupooguna thekucoket ycygoog, buyytul to cekloone, jomotom wiphyg," the creature said.
"Freaky," Elsie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Tweak pine cone hole punch slate chopstick twitch to backyard," the thing chuckled.
"Thunderation. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kebyhopu paper towel shymumuboot."
"Why don't you take your paper towel and shove it in your eyelid?" Elsie retorted.
The creature looked bad. "Notifoogu krygamegaj yjogud, moogoocoot," it shouted. "Jowruwad!" it continued.
"Your face is a jowruwad!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, urbane creature; she was feeling unusually forgetful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or football coach. If she had been carrying a wet noodle, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Dinklefloss will be delighted to see you."
The creature lurched slightly and cried. Then it rose up on its new legs, puffed out its wig and waded automatically toward her.
For the first time, Elsie had the urge to run, but her lip was hanging and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter