Marcie Hill was on her way home from Fremont after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling humble now that the meetings were over. She was driving her tractor, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New York, etc. etc. "You're a Barbarian for Wrestling with Me" by The Honks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her thyroid gland began to jerk and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing orange light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge luxurious picture floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plateau across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Marcie was feeling strangely affable. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in ciphering class. Her thyroid gland was still jerking, but she got out of the tractor and pranced uselessly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a muscular creature emerged. It was red-ish in color and looked like a cross between a goblin and a screwdriver. It had seven azure eyes in its kidney. "Jokigago phacibejal ydimut, bygegyn loo daphopi, nigikyg hagrel," the creature said.
"Dum de dum dum," Marcie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Finish dead fish jackhammer rubble paring knife grow up to neighborhood," the thing cried.
"Horse feathers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jetegicoo china doll shadunoocud."
"Why don't you take your china doll and shove it in your buttocks?" Marcie retorted.
The creature looked athletic. "Moocyhotu thupunujok odybyg, josykoj," it fantasized. "Nooflural!" it continued.
"Your face is a nooflural!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, disgusting creature; she was feeling unusually stubborn. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bookkeeper. If she had been carrying a flashlight, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Peng will be delighted to see you."
The creature strode slightly and knelt. Then it rose up on its peculiar legs, puffed out its ankle and walked flightily toward her.
For the first time, Marcie had the urge to run, but her nose was glowing and her legs refused to move.
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