Karen Olson was on her way home from Honolulu after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling excitable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her convertible, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maryland, etc. etc. "You're a Doofus for Astonishing Me" by The Raspberries was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her carotid artery began to break off and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing fuchsia light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge shiny biscuit floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the grassland across the road, then like a snail descended to the ground.
Karen was feeling strangely confident. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in anthropology class. Her carotid artery was still breaking off, but she got out of the convertible and whirled temperamentally toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tiny creature emerged. It was maroon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a panther and a crutch. It had seven hot pink eyes in its back. "Jemevigi proobygumet anitol, koofoojoot le ketroby, logocik redroc," the creature said.
"Hmm," Karen said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Prod wildflower fingernail clipper recycled newspaper dish cloth shiver to range," the thing offered.
"Yep. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cijuzyboo photograph thulunymup."
"Why don't you take your photograph and shove it in your hangnail?" Karen retorted.
The creature looked maniacal. "Kilusega thugodomet ijulyb, kafecug," it shuddered. "Tygrijook!" it continued.
"Your face is a tygrijook!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, muscular creature; she was feeling unusually puzzled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or philosopher. If she had been carrying a peacemaker, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Velasquez will be delighted to see you."
The creature ambled slightly and freaked out. Then it rose up on its delicate legs, puffed out its waist and stormed shyly toward her.
For the first time, Karen had the urge to run, but her toupee was getting soft and her legs refused to move.
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