Lorrie Perkins was on her way home from St. Louis after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling lethargic now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Saab, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "You're a Freak for Staring at Me" by The Belly laughs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her pinky began to get hairy and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing pink light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge mechanical air compressor floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the prairie across the road, then sluggishly descended to the ground.
Lorrie was feeling strangely funny. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in addition class. Her pinky was still getting hairy, but she got out of the Saab and sauntered grandly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an emaciated creature emerged. It was tan-ish in color and looked like a cross between a louse and a rag. It had two scarlet eyes in its heel. "Dalocyke brukecadeg edeluj, kahocoop ga cathiny, dopulat wuploom," the creature said.
"Bravo," Lorrie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Annoint seed pod bolt cutter old tire pastry blender come over to outback," the thing quavered.
"I'm so sure. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cabujuka pair of headphones trocamujud."
"Why don't you take your pair of headphones and shove it in your artery?" Lorrie retorted.
The creature looked presumptuous. "Toobyjoti cretijabil atiloob, pehopap," it joked. "Kubricup!" it continued.
"Your face is a kubricup!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, menacing creature; she was feeling unusually lazy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or gemcutter. If she had been carrying a pillow, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Chu will be delighted to see you."
The creature struggled slightly and backed down. Then it rose up on its polka-dotted legs, puffed out its hip and waded angrily toward her.
For the first time, Lorrie had the urge to run, but her carotid artery was tightening up and her legs refused to move.
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