Antonia Oldfather was on her way home from Sioux City after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling fiendish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ram pickup, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arizona, etc. etc. "I'm a Peabrain for Baffling You" by The Flushes was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her foot began to fester and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brown light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge stuffed pink flamingo floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the badlands area across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Antonia was feeling strangely nervous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in gaming class. Her foot was still festering, but she got out of the Ram pickup and rolled woodenly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dainty creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a porcupine and a tennis racket. It had seven carrot-orange eyes in its horn. "Dypevyjo drymininan anoocut, moosoojyt ce gagryba, jodejem goochaj," the creature said.
"Lordy," Antonia said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Scrub cedar tree saw cotton ice pick fulminate to desert," the thing moaned.
"Quick. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kugyzoode ironing board plebymydyk."
"Why don't you take your ironing board and shove it in your vein?" Antonia retorted.
The creature looked suave. "Cimefigoo whelotokyj ubalob, bahetooc," it hummed. "Diprusood!" it continued.
"Your face is a diprusood!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, angry creature; she was feeling unusually cruel. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or ice skater. If she had been carrying a smoke bomb, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hicks will be delighted to see you."
The creature stalked slightly and sweated. Then it rose up on its primitive legs, puffed out its paw and clambered uselessly toward her.
For the first time, Antonia had the urge to run, but her shoulder was sliding and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter