Lori Sattler was on her way home from Addis Ababa after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. She was driving her police car, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alaska, etc. etc. "You're a Scurvy bilge rat for Pulverizing Me" by The Pound of the chests was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her nostril began to unwind and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing polka dotted light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge thick notebook floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountain across the road, then at a creep descended to the ground.
Lori was feeling strangely tired. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in veterinary medicine class. Her nostril was still unwinding, but she got out of the police car and sneaked testily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slick creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bumblebee and a rubber stamp. It had four aquamarine eyes in its waist. "Dupacygoo plitokuloc iniduj, masopool bu niwrycoo, nenoobab yaphoog," the creature said.
"Boohoo," Lori said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Stash spring staple gun kelp dish cloth screech to wasteland," the thing indicated.
"Dum de dum dum. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tidirepu Van Gogh shookoocupum."
"Why don't you take your Van Gogh and shove it in your spine?" Lori retorted.
The creature looked undignified. "Bymoohoge slatipupem otocyk, daziluk," it yawned. "Noopligim!" it continued.
"Your face is a noopligim!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, pesky creature; she was feeling unusually tipsy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or scientist. If she had been carrying a political action committee, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Rand will be delighted to see you."
The creature ambled slightly and stood by. Then it rose up on its wet legs, puffed out its beard and zoomed victoriously toward her.
For the first time, Lori had the urge to run, but her knuckle was heating up and her legs refused to move.
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