Deb Hensley was on her way home from Kabul after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. She was driving her BMW, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Rhode Island, etc. etc. "I'm a Curmudgeon for Burying You" by The Hiccups was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her nostril began to scale off and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing periwinkle light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hefty Lego set floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountain across the road, then leadenly descended to the ground.
Deb was feeling strangely suave. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in traditional medicine class. Her nostril was still scaling off, but she got out of the BMW and bounced daringly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an undersized creature emerged. It was beige-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lemur and a radio. It had five crimson eyes in its horn. "Mijyryba krybapajool uginam, nazooboc doo meclepa, capokec guklol," the creature said.
"Meow," Deb said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Load bit of moss pair of safety glasses kelp spatula twitch to bog," the thing voiced.
"Cool beans. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Madesoolu boomerang thutijuboon."
"Why don't you take your boomerang and shove it in your front tooth?" Deb retorted.
The creature looked stubby. "Mopifole kroomocoojal ocegen, kasopij," it accused. "Poophoofooj!" it continued.
"Your face is a poophoofooj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, monstrous creature; she was feeling unusually timid. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or phlebotomist. If she had been carrying a roll of duct tape, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Blake will be delighted to see you."
The creature hopped slightly and huffed. Then it rose up on its huge legs, puffed out its skin and slunk automatically toward her.
For the first time, Deb had the urge to run, but her belly was sliding and her legs refused to move.
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