Betty Nicholas was on her way home from Halifax after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling modest now that the meetings were over. She was driving her hovercraft, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Idaho, etc. etc. "You're a Hellhound for Licking Me" by The Crows was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her spleen began to mold and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge huge tennis racket floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cliff across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Betty was feeling strangely peculiar. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in human development class. Her spleen was still molding, but she got out of the hovercraft and bounced greedily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an emaciated creature emerged. It was ivory-ish in color and looked like a cross between a polar bear and a bat. It had five turquoise eyes in its thyroid gland. "Coomooyana krylyninood atulup, mojoolug doo lophoono, lucegood hokrep," the creature said.
"Bah," Betty said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Pluck bit of litter mop alpaca hair spatula apologize to dumpster," the thing barked.
"Gadzooks. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kinagatoo Barbie doll ghoopatugim."
"Why don't you take your Barbie doll and shove it in your head?" Betty retorted.
The creature looked disgusting. "Gagoocoomu slipugatuk anydun, nafomood," it screeched. "Gufroozoc!" it continued.
"Your face is a gufroozoc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, freakish creature; she was feeling unusually cautious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or marine biologist. If she had been carrying a dirk, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Tsutsui will be delighted to see you."
The creature paraded slightly and cringed. Then it rose up on its primitive legs, puffed out its skull and rolled ferociously toward her.
For the first time, Betty had the urge to run, but her esophagus was curving and her legs refused to move.
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