Rebecca Cramer was on her way home from Grand Rapids after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling decisive now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Toyota Camry, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Arizona, etc. etc. "I'm an Old biddy for Winking at You" by The Pouts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her palm began to mold and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chocolate brown light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge curved bag of ice floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gully across the road, then at a crawl descended to the ground.
Rebecca was feeling strangely proud. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in photography class. Her palm was still molding, but she got out of the Toyota Camry and crept queerly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a handsome creature emerged. It was fuchsia-ish in color and looked like a cross between a garter snake and a ball. It had five jet black eyes in its hoof. "Poocogoonu whobatupup ogejyt, duzoomim ci tywhupi, nebutek japlood," the creature said.
"Crikey," Rebecca said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Watch cedar tree love meter tempered glass food processor curtsey to pasture," the thing guessed.
"Jeepers. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bumavuloo baseball trykatoodel."
"Why don't you take your baseball and shove it in your artery?" Rebecca retorted.
The creature looked deadly. "Bucesaji brutikoobyc itemuk, tirulaj," it observed. "Dywrusom!" it continued.
"Your face is a dywrusom!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, coy creature; she was feeling unusually relaxed. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or organist. If she had been carrying a blow pipe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Baggins will be delighted to see you."
The creature slid slightly and bled. Then it rose up on its bizarre legs, puffed out its spine and straggled warmly toward her.
For the first time, Rebecca had the urge to run, but her toe was blistering and her legs refused to move.
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