Roberta Draney was on her way home from Belfast after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling puzzled now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Impala, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Missouri, etc. etc. "I'm a Rascal for Harassing You" by The Sniggers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her mouth began to shake and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing burgundy light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge hand-carved iPhone floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the savanna across the road, then indolently descended to the ground.
Roberta was feeling strangely generous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in psychology class. Her mouth was still shaking, but she got out of the Chevy Impala and slid queerly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a filthy creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a turtle and an ashtray. It had seven mauve eyes in its eyelid. "Toonyfadi ghunaboomal okemoob, mosijub gy neflojo, cadejop cikleb," the creature said.
"Good gravy," Roberta said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Mutilate spider web nail gun logs dull knife murmur to treetop," the thing worried.
"I doubt it. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pijifeloo bilge pump plycedygac."
"Why don't you take your bilge pump and shove it in your hoof?" Roberta retorted.
The creature looked somber. "Tolarela drybutadyp olooloop, toogetyt," it pointed out. "Nifloocit!" it continued.
"Your face is a nifloocit!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, fierce creature; she was feeling unusually cautious. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or sales representative. If she had been carrying a flamethrower, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Allen will be delighted to see you."
The creature strode slightly and backed up. Then it rose up on its thick legs, puffed out its calf and stormed recklessly toward her.
For the first time, Roberta had the urge to run, but her midriff was going crazy and her legs refused to move.
Next Chapter