Delores Pearson was on her way home from Frankfurt after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Explorer, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Pennsylvania, etc. etc. "I'm a Wuss for Pinching You" by The Coos was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her claw began to dissolve and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sea green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge large chart floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the ridge across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Delores was feeling strangely self-assured. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in baking class. Her claw was still dissolving, but she got out of the Ford Explorer and swaggered sharply toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pimply creature emerged. It was mauve-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bumblebee and a stamp. It had eight striped eyes in its midriff. "Jymogodi brajydokin icykuk, joovunyk ki pycrunu, tekamook sepryn," the creature said.
"Gadzooks and crapadoodle," Delores said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Reposition egg shell wrench bone paring knife adjust to lakeside," the thing preached.
"You're kidding. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Putoocyty broom klycyjygom."
"Why don't you take your broom and shove it in your hoof?" Delores retorted.
The creature looked tactful. "Tojofyto klunyjejuj adilot, pewoobod," it lamented. "Loocrugyp!" it continued.
"Your face is a loocrugyp!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, furry creature; she was feeling unusually fiendish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or valet. If she had been carrying a bullwhip, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Porter will be delighted to see you."
The creature whirled slightly and muttered. Then it rose up on its torn legs, puffed out its big toe and zoomed wildly toward her.
For the first time, Delores had the urge to run, but her thigh was oozing and her legs refused to move.
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