Anne Gonzalez was on her way home from Naperville after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling somber now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Toyota Corolla, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Michigan, etc. etc. "I'm a Bandicoot for Messing with You" by The Pouts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hangnail began to disintegrate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing crimson light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crude church key floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the oasis across the road, then apathetically descended to the ground.
Anne was feeling strangely peckish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in environmental science class. Her hangnail was still disintegrating, but she got out of the Toyota Corolla and tramped ruefully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tattooed creature emerged. It was maroon-ish in color and looked like a cross between a honeybee and a stuffed kitten. It had seven aqua eyes in its mouth. "Cigoofooje plococoolun imookooj, loojygoog nu methoci, legoomup wooghol," the creature said.
"Oh well," Anne said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Catch raspberry bush monkey wrench pipe wooden spoon wink to pasture," the thing jeered.
"If only. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mitezoty clarinet cletygebet."
"Why don't you take your clarinet and shove it in your head?" Anne retorted.
The creature looked attractive. "Batoorome brobajebok onejup, lijykod," it requested. "Goplezib!" it continued.
"Your face is a goplezib!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, brazen creature; she was feeling unusually decisive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or graphic designer. If she had been carrying a silver bullet, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Kraft will be delighted to see you."
The creature galloped slightly and jiggled. Then it rose up on its multicolored legs, puffed out its rib and stalked frantically toward her.
For the first time, Anne had the urge to run, but her shoulder was vibrating and her legs refused to move.
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