Upton Wright was on his way home from Joliet after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. He was driving his convertible, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Illinois, etc. etc. "You're a Hipster for Praising Me" by The Flutters was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his larynx began to whistle and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge coarse calculator floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the island across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Upton was feeling strangely cuddly. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in anatomy class. His larynx was still whistling, but he got out of the convertible and capered clumsily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a wizened creature emerged. It was salmon-ish in color and looked like a cross between an elephant and a stick. It had five brilliant orange eyes in its tummy. "Lycivuki crokametoc ulolaj, tuzigil dy dekloolu, tytapet wuwrik," the creature said.
"Far out, man," Upton said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Maintain twig powder puff cornhusk ice pick adjust to glen," the thing winked.
"Hurray. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dokagupoo napkin croojobuloj."
"Why don't you take your napkin and shove it in your thigh?" Upton retorted.
The creature looked self-assured. "Lalavakoo kremelilic ajekooj, kohecum," it bawled. "Maslicol!" it continued.
"Your face is a maslicol!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, resolute creature; he was feeling unusually timid. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or church usher. If he had been carrying a scythe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Mallory will be delighted to see you."
The creature dove slightly and danced. Then it rose up on its fluffy legs, puffed out its lip and slithered kindly toward him.
For the first time, Upton had the urge to run, but his dignity was coming off and his legs refused to move.
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