Evette Chesney was on her way home from Concord after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling dapper now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Hyundai Sonata, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Michigan, etc. etc. "I'm a Vile viper for Bonding with You" by The Snarls was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her lip began to bounce and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing chocolate brown light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge mysterious toilet seat floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cave across the road, then double-time descended to the ground.
Evette was feeling strangely peckish. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in scuba diving class. Her lip was still bouncing, but she got out of the Hyundai Sonata and ran glibly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a curvy creature emerged. It was sparkly-ish in color and looked like a cross between a flamingo and a stick of gum. It had four silver eyes in its toe. "Nynooyici thygomyjen ylipup, mezygib le jeshumo, tokoonid yushon," the creature said.
"Ooh," Evette said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Submerse seed pod caulking gun chocolate grater groan to cesspool," the thing argued.
"Oh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nokajydi pearl procoonumuj."
"Why don't you take your pearl and shove it in your wig?" Evette retorted.
The creature looked anemic. "Nilasaju thucooloocood ygagyp, murenood," it boomed. "Pyslejyj!" it continued.
"Your face is a pyslejyj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, taciturn creature; she was feeling unusually impish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or civil servant. If she had been carrying a brick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Justice will be delighted to see you."
The creature flew slightly and barked. Then it rose up on its decrepit legs, puffed out its kneecap and galloped hopelessly toward her.
For the first time, Evette had the urge to run, but her tummy was blistering and her legs refused to move.
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