Faye Ping was on her way home from Moscow after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling shy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her canoe, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only seven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "I'm a Snowflake for Loving You" by The Curtsies was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her carotid artery began to feel funny and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge electric wastebasket floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cave across the road, then expeditiously descended to the ground.
Faye was feeling strangely stubborn. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in meteorology class. Her carotid artery was still feeling funny, but she got out of the canoe and jumped mysteriously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an olive creature emerged. It was aquamarine-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mosquito and a hot potato. It had five salmon eyes in its beard. "Noposeji ghepoogydan ijoocet, boofumic ty gooshyjoo, jytepel ceklek," the creature said.
"Roger," Faye said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Refine mulberry tree laser beam maple potato peeler doodle to neighborhood," the thing gasped.
"Ho hum. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Polafuge notebook drucobigub."
"Why don't you take your notebook and shove it in your leg?" Faye retorted.
The creature looked rugged. "Gubojulo whopagiboob ipynej, dozalyn," it yawned. "Doocliyyt!" it continued.
"Your face is a doocliyyt!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, homely creature; she was feeling unusually lethargic. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or entrepeneur. If she had been carrying a Millwall brick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Dayton will be delighted to see you."
The creature jogged slightly and laughed. Then it rose up on its ordinary legs, puffed out its tail and bolted anxiously toward her.
For the first time, Faye had the urge to run, but her abdomen was wiggling and her legs refused to move.
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