Dan Briggs was on his way home from Berlin after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling tired now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Taurus, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kansas, etc. etc. "I'm a Thug for Poking You" by The Jeers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his adrenal gland began to contract and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brown light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge mysterious cage floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the outback across the road, then leadenly descended to the ground.
Dan was feeling strangely daring. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in traditional medicine class. His adrenal gland was still contracting, but he got out of the Ford Taurus and padded crankily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sleek creature emerged. It was white-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ape and a jar of olives. It had seven fuchsia eyes in its tummy. "Mebigoge shodobugoon okadoon, tefutej na patrege, jaloogop sedrel," the creature said.
"Gee," Dan said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Condemn tree circular saw cornstalk bare foot get angry to tundra," the thing smirked.
"Really. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Noobywecu iPhone brymoonoomyj."
"Why don't you take your iPhone and shove it in your collarbone?" Dan retorted.
The creature looked paranoid. "Loojofanoo ghulinunot uconem, myfukat," it spat. "Kucrayed!" it continued.
"Your face is a kucrayed!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, energetic creature; he was feeling unusually maniacal. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or vacuum cleaner salesman. If he had been carrying a six-shooter, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Hamilton will be delighted to see you."
The creature trotted slightly and blinked. Then it rose up on its frilly legs, puffed out its little finger and proceeded glumly toward him.
For the first time, Dan had the urge to run, but his esophagus was pulsating and his legs refused to move.
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