Pablo Shaw was on his way home from San Salvador after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling awkward now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Mercedes, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "I'm a Sloth for Biting You" by The Flutters was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his heel began to open up and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing maroon light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge spongy key ring floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the range across the road, then heavily descended to the ground.
Pablo was feeling strangely nervous. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in interior design class. His heel was still opening up, but he got out of the Mercedes and went sadly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a demonic creature emerged. It was brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a sheep and a Big Gulp. It had four pink eyes in its aorta. "Docevety phoomopucooj ookyloom, gyyoobug doo paglyna, dajykeb zakroon," the creature said.
"Bowwow," Pablo said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Switch cedar tree coping saw adobe egg cutter relax to canyon," the thing screeched.
"Criminy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lylasemy ticket phujootoomuk."
"Why don't you take your ticket and shove it in your thumb?" Pablo retorted.
The creature looked contented. "Nidacyda chuneboloom ikoocut, behytim," it repeated. "Nowhozop!" it continued.
"Your face is a nowhozop!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, thoughtful creature; he was feeling unusually cheerful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or astronomer. If he had been carrying a hammer, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Seymour will be delighted to see you."
The creature inched slightly and watched. Then it rose up on its stolen legs, puffed out its hand and hopped jokingly toward him.
For the first time, Pablo had the urge to run, but his collarbone was ossifying and his legs refused to move.
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