T.J. Weeden was on his way home from Sidney after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling self-assured now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Toyota Corolla, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oklahoma, etc. etc. "I'm a Hack for Judging You" by The Flutters was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his heel began to pulsate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing lime-green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge damp cork floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the hillside across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
T.J. was feeling strangely brash. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in food science class. His heel was still pulsating, but he got out of the Toyota Corolla and clambered suspiciously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a chubby creature emerged. It was jet black-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mare and a fountain pen. It had two emerald green eyes in its thumb. "Gagahicy whulogucug ejooloog, tygonac ko gaghoge, monyloon jaflag," the creature said.
"Alrighty," T.J. said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Bury poison ivy plant shovel asphalt blender giggle to pond," the thing pleaded.
"Far out. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nenygotu advertisement frubulebag."
"Why don't you take your advertisement and shove it in your eye?" T.J. retorted.
The creature looked lively. "Pukicody clepilonuj ekytun, bayynan," it announced. "Meghycen!" it continued.
"Your face is a meghycen!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, sleek creature; he was feeling unusually excitable. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or animal trainer. If he had been carrying a musket, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Withers will be delighted to see you."
The creature tumbled slightly and grinned. Then it rose up on its polished legs, puffed out its forehead and zoomed bravely toward him.
For the first time, T.J. had the urge to run, but his shoulder was blanching and his legs refused to move.
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