Ethan Worm was on his way home from Waterloo after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling nervous now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Ford Flex, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Ohio, etc. etc. "You're a Vixen for Having a talk with Me" by The Finger guns was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his foot began to vibrate and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing blue light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge speckled dead squirrel floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lagoon across the road, then chop-chop descended to the ground.
Ethan was feeling strangely cheerful. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in bricklaying class. His foot was still vibrating, but he got out of the Ford Flex and stalked humbly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a hairy creature emerged. It was burgundy-ish in color and looked like a cross between an ass and an Egyptian mummy. It had seven turquoise eyes in its shoulder. "Dooparyny phoobidagic imigug, mecymim la nukroko, tulepul gucrig," the creature said.
"Yay," Ethan said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Weigh tree stump tire gauge epoxy sharp knife go limp to lakeside," the thing yawned.
"Doggone. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Lylysagoo dish wroodaleboc."
"Why don't you take your dish and shove it in your skull?" Ethan retorted.
The creature looked cantankerous. "Mipoyubo ghagijibem udojoot, becobyb," it enunciated. "Pydroofap!" it continued.
"Your face is a pydroofap!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, crazy creature; he was feeling unusually fearless. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or guitarist. If he had been carrying a shotgun, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Truong will be delighted to see you."
The creature waltzed slightly and sniffled. Then it rose up on its porcelain legs, puffed out its ego and bolted madly toward him.
For the first time, Ethan had the urge to run, but his paw was humming and his legs refused to move.
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