Rodney Knight was on his way home from Chesapeake after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling sassy now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Audi, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Montana, etc. etc. "I'm a Hothead for Boring You" by The Shrugs was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his fingernail began to falter and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sparkly light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fresh barbell floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the plain across the road, then at a dawdle descended to the ground.
Rodney was feeling strangely muddled. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Greek class. His fingernail was still faltering, but he got out of the Audi and sidled flightily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a scruffy creature emerged. It was green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a meerkat and a painting. It had five golden eyes in its throat. "Pipirone droonuninik igipel, lurymyd lo nucredoo, bucymyj goofruj," the creature said.
"Uh," Rodney said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Lengthen leaf knife Sheetrock electric paint mixer think to peninsula," the thing added.
"Excuse me. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tepujaloo screwdriver slojadoogoog."
"Why don't you take your screwdriver and shove it in your belly?" Rodney retorted.
The creature looked atrocious. "Budozimo groopykypuc ecedec, miwucin," it stormed. "Tucrezup!" it continued.
"Your face is a tucrezup!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, agitated creature; he was feeling unusually fearful. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or fireman. If he had been carrying a shotgun, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Jacobsen will be delighted to see you."
The creature waddled slightly and slept. Then it rose up on its hideous legs, puffed out its big toe and stalked brightly toward him.
For the first time, Rodney had the urge to run, but his tongue was cooling down and his legs refused to move.
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