Karen Knotts was on her way home from Savannah after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling affable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Toyota Corolla, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oregon, etc. etc. "I'm a Fiend for Tantalizing You" by The Jeers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her palm began to mold and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing sparkly light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge modern Happy Meal floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the briar patch across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Karen was feeling strangely muddled. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in political science class. Her palm was still molding, but she got out of the Toyota Corolla and skittered majestically toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a filthy creature emerged. It was maroon-ish in color and looked like a cross between an oyster and an umbrella. It had three striped eyes in its hoof. "Tetoowypy dramoocokyb ikykuj, tofecan ma bewretoo, cugipic rycrob," the creature said.
"Fun," Karen said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"See weed mallet flour paste potato masher jump to grassland," the thing smiled.
"Ka-ching. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dodacotoo china doll croodobicin."
"Why don't you take your china doll and shove it in your arm?" Karen retorted.
The creature looked ambitious. "Majarypo phykotekuj agookog, puhyloom," it sighed. "Moklavyc!" it continued.
"Your face is a moklavyc!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, undignified creature; she was feeling unusually peckish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or biologist. If she had been carrying a sling, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Popp will be delighted to see you."
The creature sidled slightly and showed up. Then it rose up on its slimy legs, puffed out its femur and tramped irritably toward her.
For the first time, Karen had the urge to run, but her adrenal gland was awakening and her legs refused to move.
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