Geoffrey Novak was on his way home from Lancaster after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling brave now that the meetings were over. He was driving his MG Midget, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of North Dakota, etc. etc. "I'm a Dumbbell for Trusting You" by The Shouts was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his horn began to slide and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing azure light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ridged boomerang floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountainside across the road, then quickly descended to the ground.
Geoffrey was feeling strangely nervous. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in statistics class. His horn was still sliding, but he got out of the MG Midget and sashayed dreamily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an athletic creature emerged. It was amber-ish in color and looked like a cross between a teddy bear and a bouquet. It had six olive drab eyes in its bladder. "Pykihopy fragoocytok ylulooj, loohoomog bi gyclyjy, galigoj woglyj," the creature said.
"Par bleu," Geoffrey said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Hook badger hole monkey wrench peanut butter electric paint mixer lounge to gully," the thing pronounced.
"Praise the Lord. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nujizyny billiard ball thynubipyc."
"Why don't you take your billiard ball and shove it in your hoof?" Geoffrey retorted.
The creature looked bouncy. "Nynoowely plubajubook idimuj, tihoodoj," it debated. "Looprevut!" it continued.
"Your face is a looprevut!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, depraved creature; he was feeling unusually brave. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or mediator. If he had been carrying a cannon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bratt will be delighted to see you."
The creature sallied forth slightly and jumped. Then it rose up on its queer legs, puffed out its collarbone and slumped stupidly toward him.
For the first time, Geoffrey had the urge to run, but his palm was breaking off and his legs refused to move.
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