Leah Gorman was on her way home from Atlanta after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling somber now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Edsel, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New York, etc. etc. "I'm a Terror for Touching You" by The Sniggers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her midriff began to act up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge overgrown remote control floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the swamp across the road, then steadily descended to the ground.
Leah was feeling strangely thoughtful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in baking class. Her midriff was still acting up, but she got out of the Edsel and swaggered testily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a plump creature emerged. It was beige-ish in color and looked like a cross between a musk-ox and a computer. It had two teal eyes in its appendix. "Ninyvunu kroogecukyl aboduk, dogabed ta datripi, poopoboog hecrab," the creature said.
"Shoo," Leah said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Leave stick mop ribbons pair of tongs mumble to village," the thing offered.
"Cowabunga. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kygoowoogu vase criboogylit."
"Why don't you take your vase and shove it in your head?" Leah retorted.
The creature looked muddled. "Migiwodi slodylyjooc aneguj, kuyygid," it interpreted. "Naklyjet!" it continued.
"Your face is a naklyjet!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, shiftless creature; she was feeling unusually daring. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or bus driver. If she had been carrying a whip, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Evans will be delighted to see you."
The creature whirled slightly and snuffled. Then it rose up on its coarse legs, puffed out its face and walked menacingly toward her.
For the first time, Leah had the urge to run, but her hangnail was leaning and her legs refused to move.
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