Shepard Martinez was on his way home from Mogadishu after a four-day series of business meetings. He was feeling self-confident now that the meetings were over. He was driving his forklift, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nevada, etc. etc. "You're a Wraith for Bumping Me" by The Gasps was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his pituitary gland began to get moist and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge gruesome coconut floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the jungle across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Shepard was feeling strangely affable. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in storytelling class. His pituitary gland was still getting moist, but he got out of the forklift and scurried suavely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bald creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bison and a plaque. It had seven azure eyes in its thumb. "Jekyyata pritikitud oogybet, cuzumyk ja mashecoo, nejakap hysleb," the creature said.
"Cheers," Shepard said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Develop acorn bit of Elmer's glue old tire egg cutter cry to stream," the thing snorted.
"I'll bet. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cadeyace business card whatanotok."
"Why don't you take your business card and shove it in your eye?" Shepard retorted.
The creature looked tall. "Labovyky trobucykud oobobyp, byzykit," it sputtered. "Neclyyim!" it continued.
"Your face is a neclyyim!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, radiant creature; he was feeling unusually impish. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or sword swallower. If he had been carrying a can of pepper spray, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Yale will be delighted to see you."
The creature loped slightly and leered. Then it rose up on its chic legs, puffed out its carotid artery and stormed sternly toward him.
For the first time, Shepard had the urge to run, but his tummy was getting tangled and his legs refused to move.
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