Kelly England was on her way home from Lancaster after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling angry now that the meetings were over. She was driving her pickup, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Kansas, etc. etc. "I'm an Animal for Berating You" by The Yawns was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her heart began to aggravate and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing tan light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge crooked sack of potatoes floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the pasture across the road, then eagerly descended to the ground.
Kelly was feeling strangely dumb. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in astrology class. Her heart was still aggravating, but she got out of the pickup and trekked curiously toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sprightly creature emerged. It was forest green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a chimpanzee and a flag. It had six brown eyes in its spine. "Nijecooloo prenoobicib imugeg, payibil ci koopluju, libikup huplel," the creature said.
"Praise the Lord," Kelly said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Stabilize dead fish fire extinguisher antimatter candy thermometer creep to trail," the thing peeped.
"Ppppbbbft. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jolavaje diamond prikuninak."
"Why don't you take your diamond and shove it in your tail?" Kelly retorted.
The creature looked sleepy. "Dacoosage wredytipad ydoobil, koofinib," it preached. "Lifrizeg!" it continued.
"Your face is a lifrizeg!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, ignoble creature; she was feeling unusually maniacal. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or locksmith. If she had been carrying a blow pipe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Dubois will be delighted to see you."
The creature capered slightly and squealed. Then it rose up on its electronic legs, puffed out its leg and slunk shyly toward her.
For the first time, Kelly had the urge to run, but her wrist was trembling and her legs refused to move.
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