Irving Sattler was on his way home from Fayetteville after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling merry now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Buick, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "I'm a Pervert for Dating You" by The Snickers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his stomach began to get cold and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing burgundy light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge fresh bird feeder floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lagoon across the road, then slackly descended to the ground.
Irving was feeling strangely fiendish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Lebanese studies class. His stomach was still getting cold, but he got out of the Buick and proceeded needlessly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a beautiful creature emerged. It was pink-ish in color and looked like a cross between a dachshund and a cigarette lighter. It had two emerald green eyes in its artery. "Jilayyko cramybanog oojoopod, pyyocad ku lochupe, lujicit zikloot," the creature said.
"Golly," Irving said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Leave seed pod curling iron pebble dull knife kneel to peninsula," the thing interrupted.
"Mommy. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kedezooly jar of olives frytetydin."
"Why don't you take your jar of olives and shove it in your little finger?" Irving retorted.
The creature looked young. "Datasaba krononadug ogidyc, joowykeb," it emphasized. "Bibroovooc!" it continued.
"Your face is a bibroovooc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, obese creature; he was feeling unusually dumb. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or cartographer. If he had been carrying a bow and arrows, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Peterson will be delighted to see you."
The creature trotted slightly and dressed up. Then it rose up on its hard legs, puffed out its nose and set out immediately toward him.
For the first time, Irving had the urge to run, but his eye was coming loose and his legs refused to move.
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