Cedric Carver was on his way home from Pasadena after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling brave now that the meetings were over. He was driving his moped, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "You're an Old biddy for Satisfying Me" by The Puckers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his brain began to pop and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing peach light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge flexible football floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the forest across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Cedric was feeling strangely resolute. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in math class. His brain was still popping, but he got out of the moped and strode sympathetically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a graceful creature emerged. It was orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a fish and a peach. It had six hot pink eyes in its spleen. "Biduwela kroodoketyd okigit, mizigub ge tesleti, moocobak hubrub," the creature said.
"No way," Cedric said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Darken mushroom roll of duct tape axle grease spoon turn blue to oasis," the thing squeaked.
"Silence. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pygoohibi pencil whegoomepet."
"Why don't you take your pencil and shove it in your abdomen?" Cedric retorted.
The creature looked grizzled. "Tybuzuce quodapudil idunig, boridun," it remarked. "Gothoguc!" it continued.
"Your face is a gothoguc!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, sketchy creature; he was feeling unusually puzzled. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or stockbroker. If he had been carrying a parlor trick, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Friedman will be delighted to see you."
The creature staggered slightly and laughed. Then it rose up on its thick legs, puffed out its kidney and slid daintily toward him.
For the first time, Cedric had the urge to run, but his thigh was getting emotional and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter