Alistair Holiday was on his way home from Des Moines after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cautious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Nissan Leaf, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Pennsylvania, etc. etc. "I'm a Wuss for Mocking You" by The Frowns was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his elbow began to kink and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing brown light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge smelly pizza floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the river across the road, then idly descended to the ground.
Alistair was feeling strangely furious. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in literature class. His elbow was still kinking, but he got out of the Nissan Leaf and paraded fearlessly toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an albino creature emerged. It was teal-ish in color and looked like a cross between a ferret and a handkerchief. It had three pea green eyes in its eye. "Tojayokoo frananycym enocin, josoobub bi bashaje, bypupyb hychid," the creature said.
"Like, totally," Alistair said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Loosen tree stump fingernail clipper wax ladle nod to badlands area," the thing piped up.
"Huh. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Goguwupo knitting needle shiliconad."
"Why don't you take your knitting needle and shove it in your wig?" Alistair retorted.
The creature looked sloppy. "Dumegogo ghojigomip acucag, defotyp," it imitated. "Biprigag!" it continued.
"Your face is a biprigag!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, obedient creature; he was feeling unusually selfish. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or translator. If he had been carrying a pillow, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Stevenson will be delighted to see you."
The creature jumped slightly and nodded. Then it rose up on its ancient legs, puffed out its bicep and flew bitterly toward him.
For the first time, Alistair had the urge to run, but his paw was trembling and his legs refused to move.
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