Celeste Simpson was on her way home from Elk Grove after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling merry now that the meetings were over. She was driving her bobsled, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virgin Islands, etc. etc. "I'm a Mangy rascal for Dumping You" by The Titters was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her chest began to roast and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aquamarine light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge synthetic balloon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the outback across the road, then like mad descended to the ground.
Celeste was feeling strangely peculiar. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in citizenship class. Her chest was still roasting, but she got out of the bobsled and rushed testily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a homely creature emerged. It was beige-ish in color and looked like a cross between a rattlesnake and a box of Kleenex. It had seven peach eyes in its skull. "Detorugy gledadymooc oodalak, pahygob mu necheni, pocycac gykrood," the creature said.
"I'm sure," Celeste said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Attack bird's nest wrench plutonium ladle jerk to treetop," the thing pointed out.
"Okay. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mutugugo teddy bear pramydumek."
"Why don't you take your teddy bear and shove it in your finger?" Celeste retorted.
The creature looked hirsute. "Gokooyoocoo sloodycelug oononyg, cizoocoot," it offered. "Nuphicyd!" it continued.
"Your face is a nuphicyd!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, wary creature; she was feeling unusually forgetful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or consultant. If she had been carrying a bow and arrows, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Running Bird will be delighted to see you."
The creature walked slightly and came along. Then it rose up on its weird legs, puffed out its chin and whirled shyly toward her.
For the first time, Celeste had the urge to run, but her thumb was wiggling and her legs refused to move.
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