Thad Borkowski was on his way home from Grand Prairie after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling thoughtful now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Kia, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eleven drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Washington, etc. etc. "You're a Dip for Making a face at Me" by The Caresses was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his bicep began to jump and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing salmon light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge large tissue floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the wasteland across the road, then like a streak descended to the ground.
Thad was feeling strangely self-assured. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in Esperanto class. His bicep was still jumping, but he got out of the Kia and reeled immediately toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a frumpy creature emerged. It was chocolate brown-ish in color and looked like a cross between a weasel and a can of beer. It had eight black eyes in its face. "Gikuyuka wrojybegim ikugap, bywylak mo lequecu, ligoonij zepryt," the creature said.
"Oops," Thad said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Reinforce tree branch laser beam stainless steel blender rock to steppe," the thing moaned.
"Blaak. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Nocoowugoo bicycle plegybypyb."
"Why don't you take your bicycle and shove it in your elbow?" Thad retorted.
The creature looked sketchy. "Mujooyanoo slomookobok ebamoj, nahytad," it chuckled. "Joplugog!" it continued.
"Your face is a joplugog!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, disgusting creature; he was feeling unusually ambitious. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or auctioneer. If he had been carrying a hand grenade, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Martin will be delighted to see you."
The creature scampered slightly and exhaled. Then it rose up on its mechanical legs, puffed out its pituitary gland and flounced oddly toward him.
For the first time, Thad had the urge to run, but his gall bladder was shimmering and his legs refused to move.
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