Louie Ordway was on his way home from Taipei after a three-day series of business meetings. He was feeling ambitious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Saturn, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Nevada, etc. etc. "I'm a Floozy for Punishing You" by The Shivers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his dignity began to go wild and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge synthetic bullet floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the park across the road, then reluctantly descended to the ground.
Louie was feeling strangely dumb. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in aeronautics class. His dignity was still going wild, but he got out of the Saturn and zipped fervently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an albino creature emerged. It was periwinkle-ish in color and looked like a cross between a flea and a can of beer. It had eight indigo eyes in its cheek. "Lootesoomi crubomykook unecym, bagilog ca dygredi, tinybyc zewrul," the creature said.
"Nonsense," Louie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Split dead tree saw root spoon expectorate to steppe," the thing added.
"I'm so sure. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Moniholoo biscuit cronegypyn."
"Why don't you take your biscuit and shove it in your palm?" Louie retorted.
The creature looked refined. "Mibisooty quidoogogooc umikin, juwinyd," it fretted. "Likrezej!" it continued.
"Your face is a likrezej!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, considerate creature; he was feeling unusually daring. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or illustrator. If he had been carrying a knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Fancypants will be delighted to see you."
The creature stalked slightly and dreamed. Then it rose up on its crusty legs, puffed out its cheek and jumped gruffly toward him.
For the first time, Louie had the urge to run, but his pinky was turning around and his legs refused to move.
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