Josh Dixon was on his way home from Berlin after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling furious now that the meetings were over. He was driving his skateboard, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only twelve drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Florida, etc. etc. "You're a missionary for Going out with Me" by The Cackles was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his skull began to come undone and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing turquoise light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge charming business card floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the beach across the road, then like a bat out of hell descended to the ground.
Josh was feeling strangely peckish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in recreation class. His skull was still coming undone, but he got out of the skateboard and stalked stealthily toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a petite creature emerged. It was carrot-orange-ish in color and looked like a cross between a ferret and a bucket. It had eight black eyes in its fingernail. "Mijyhede glekygideb emydol, disulid ci jishile, kylipud yyflec," the creature said.
"Totally rad," Josh said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Shake wolf track sand blaster gingerbread knife party to hill," the thing sneered.
"Gee whiz. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Peliwookoo coat check ticket glibypojup."
"Why don't you take your coat check ticket and shove it in your little finger?" Josh retorted.
The creature looked evil. "Taniseboo klolypomal ymykam, gihotyb," it reasoned. "Nuquyjup!" it continued.
"Your face is a nuquyjup!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, noxious creature; he was feeling unusually disagreeable. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or obstetrician. If he had been carrying a quick retort, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Bean will be delighted to see you."
The creature dashed slightly and watched. Then it rose up on its petite legs, puffed out its esophagus and traipsed mysteriously toward him.
For the first time, Josh had the urge to run, but his thyroid gland was jiggling and his legs refused to move.
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