Meredith Speer was on her way home from Overland Park after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling amiable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Fiat, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only eight drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Alabama, etc. etc. "You're a Wraith for Texting Me" by The Bounds was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her palm began to curve and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing yellow light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge queer bag of popcorn floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the steppe across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Meredith was feeling strangely cuddly. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in bricklaying class. Her palm was still curving, but she got out of the Fiat and skidded confidently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a large creature emerged. It was scarlet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a boar and a cowbell. It had three fuchsia eyes in its abdomen. "Jomuwoki propacygic agygog, payejac te juflany, litedak wyfrug," the creature said.
"Ouch," Meredith said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Refurbish raspberry bush dust cloth bamboo garlic press pause to prairie," the thing amended.
"Petunia. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tydozoopoo pen plegybakaj."
"Why don't you take your pen and shove it in your pride?" Meredith retorted.
The creature looked ladylike. "Mebicajo ghagokoocog ykukyg, kofudek," it queried. "Jakryjak!" it continued.
"Your face is a jakryjak!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, refined creature; she was feeling unusually sassy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or astronomer. If she had been carrying a lance, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Finegan will be delighted to see you."
The creature struggled slightly and groaned. Then it rose up on its stolen legs, puffed out its wig and stormed surreptitiously toward her.
For the first time, Meredith had the urge to run, but her heel was wobbling and her legs refused to move.
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