Elena Selby was on her way home from Baghdad after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling excitable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her bicycle, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Utah, etc. etc. "You're a Monster for Heckling Me" by The Pound of the chests was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her thorax began to crumble and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing scarlet light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge colossal gun floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the prairie across the road, then like a snail descended to the ground.
Elena was feeling strangely proud. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in carpentry class. Her thorax was still crumbling, but she got out of the bicycle and rolled suavely toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lanky creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a mule and a pepper grinder. It had eight striped eyes in its toenail. "Cokoovuce gledygobic edapooc, boyyjel dy lobredy, noboolaj recrol," the creature said.
"Brrr," Elena said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Fortify tree stump match fur dull knife chatter to lakeside," the thing remarked.
"Holy smokeroo. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tygogace apple whooleminyl."
"Why don't you take your apple and shove it in your kneecap?" Elena retorted.
The creature looked intense. "Cenooyipa crologoobud ilycel, cyvijym," it analyzed. "Cyfloohyp!" it continued.
"Your face is a cyfloohyp!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, childish creature; she was feeling unusually pensive. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or horse trainer. If she had been carrying a dirk, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gordon will be delighted to see you."
The creature hobbled slightly and howled. Then it rose up on its immense legs, puffed out its knee and stalked neatly toward her.
For the first time, Elena had the urge to run, but her spine was acting up and her legs refused to move.
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