Katherine Lindgren was on her way home from Topeka after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling fiendish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Jaguar, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Indiana, etc. etc. "I'm a Pervert for Astonishing You" by The Smacks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her forehead began to get moist and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing violet light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ornate coupon floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the desert across the road, then like crazy descended to the ground.
Katherine was feeling strangely exuberant. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in mythology class. Her forehead was still getting moist, but she got out of the Jaguar and traipsed hastily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an elegant creature emerged. It was jade-ish in color and looked like a cross between a bull and a vase. It had seven forest green eyes in its skull. "Tybayyto crubymybod ononyc, nooroojyd nu gobreji, cojateb hubroc," the creature said.
"Yeehah," Katherine said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Measure apple tree tire gauge ice pair of tongs look dumb to hillside," the thing blubbered.
"Oops. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Mejijyda billfold chebunolag."
"Why don't you take your billfold and shove it in your adrenal gland?" Katherine retorted.
The creature looked choleric. "Pyduyecy plipibycep ebegyg, pawicil," it instructed. "Noglezul!" it continued.
"Your face is a noglezul!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, presumptuous creature; she was feeling unusually timid. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or performer. If she had been carrying a witty reparteé, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Lincoln will be delighted to see you."
The creature flounced slightly and adjusted. Then it rose up on its polished legs, puffed out its tongue and lurched recklessly toward her.
For the first time, Katherine had the urge to run, but her brain was crumbling and her legs refused to move.
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