René Bowers was on his way home from Tallahassee after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling muddled now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Crown Victoria, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Wisconsin, etc. etc. "You're a Bilge rat for Thinking about Me" by The Hoots was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his dignity began to ache and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing indigo light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge rusty stuffed bunny floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the veld across the road, then leadenly descended to the ground.
René was feeling strangely fiendish. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in health class. His dignity was still aching, but he got out of the Crown Victoria and dove victoriously toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bearded creature emerged. It was pea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a jellyfish and a Bunsen burner. It had two olive green eyes in its aorta. "Jonacene quoojoojootym ymebem, ducapok ne pifrilu, dobikooc zybrool," the creature said.
"Easy peasy," René said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Strike wolf track plunger muslin dull knife party to tundra," the thing urged.
"Really. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Noonewaku baseball bat phagopidug."
"Why don't you take your baseball bat and shove it in your skin?" René retorted.
The creature looked shifty. "Nataruky cladoopudij akecooc, goocemyg," it moaned. "Lufrayic!" it continued.
"Your face is a lufrayic!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, diabolical creature; he was feeling unusually generous. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or physician. If he had been carrying a switchblade, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Vickers will be delighted to see you."
The creature waddled slightly and mumbled. Then it rose up on its ridiculous legs, puffed out its toupee and leapt lickety-split toward him.
For the first time, René had the urge to run, but his toenail was aching and his legs refused to move.
Next Chapter