Bobby Comstad was on his way home from Hong Kong after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling irate now that the meetings were over. He was driving his hearse, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Rhode Island, etc. etc. "You're a Brute for Sitting on Me" by The Stiff upper lips was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his eyelash began to perspire and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing teal light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge greasy rose floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gulch across the road, then dreamily descended to the ground.
Bobby was feeling strangely irate. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in political science class. His eyelash was still perspiring, but he got out of the hearse and lumbered innocently toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an angelic creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lark and a stick. It had five chartreuse eyes in its adrenal gland. "Guluzuca phojigunoog unoolob, goovigob jy kubrake, kyjoopup yuwril," the creature said.
"Nope," Bobby said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Condemn piece of bark meat grinder rope dull knife hide to mountaintop," the thing roared.
"Awesome. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Godazyne kite whutoocegog."
"Why don't you take your kite and shove it in your antenna?" Bobby retorted.
The creature looked amiable. "Tokehuga krylootomyd oloojul, pijakel," it pointed out. "Nyphusat!" it continued.
"Your face is a nyphusat!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, melancholic creature; he was feeling unusually lethargic. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or spy. If he had been carrying a lead pipe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Halperin will be delighted to see you."
The creature made a beeline slightly and swooned. Then it rose up on its fluffy legs, puffed out its thigh and strolled testily toward him.
For the first time, Bobby had the urge to run, but his thigh was tormenting and his legs refused to move.
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