Lindsay Yastremski was on her way home from Brussels after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling selfish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Ford Taurus, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Jersey, etc. etc. "You're a Ghoul for Breaking Me" by The Shrugs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her aorta began to perk up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing amber light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge decrepit trash can floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the buffalo wallow across the road, then easily descended to the ground.
Lindsay was feeling strangely self-assured. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in music theory class. Her aorta was still perking up, but she got out of the Ford Taurus and stalked boldly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a bald creature emerged. It was olive green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a parrot and a flowerpot. It had three yellow eyes in its ear. "Linoorago grudycogit itikej, tuzikat li lidrage, kilebot wukrool," the creature said.
"Holy smokeroo," Lindsay said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Leave mushroom broom cold rolled steel blender pace to jungle," the thing warbled.
"Hmm. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Bamozaby clipboard clitibetyk."
"Why don't you take your clipboard and shove it in your belly?" Lindsay retorted.
The creature looked fearless. "Letooyitoo cludacolyt upilek, cawitum," it chortled. "Podrisec!" it continued.
"Your face is a podrisec!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, mean creature; she was feeling unusually forgetful. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or butler. If she had been carrying a harpoon, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Palensky will be delighted to see you."
The creature skittered slightly and puffed. Then it rose up on its stiff legs, puffed out its bicep and dashed firmly toward her.
For the first time, Lindsay had the urge to run, but her belly button was glistening and her legs refused to move.
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