Vera Tutu was on her way home from Jackson after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling perky now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Mini Cooper, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maryland, etc. etc. "You're an Oaf for Befuddling Me" by The Pouts was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her hairdo began to curl and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing yellow light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge mysterious bird bath floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the field across the road, then ponderously descended to the ground.
Vera was feeling strangely queer. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in anatomy class. Her hairdo was still curling, but she got out of the Mini Cooper and waded tenderly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon an elderly creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a frog and a hacksaw. It had seven khaki eyes in its ego. "Golovipe flunykabam ycoocyp, joofootam me byfrimoo, ciniloob cagrim," the creature said.
"Heavens to murgatroyd," Vera said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Study acorn file paper food processor collapse to circus tent," the thing breathed.
"Zowie. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pykevekoo piece of candy dragelobyl."
"Why don't you take your piece of candy and shove it in your knee?" Vera retorted.
The creature looked self-assured. "Dijasuko quygyjylyl oododil, nooyakyg," it argued. "Ciflifum!" it continued.
"Your face is a ciflifum!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, adorable creature; she was feeling unusually lazy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or police officer. If she had been carrying a scimitar, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Roman will be delighted to see you."
The creature sidled slightly and cringed. Then it rose up on its amazing legs, puffed out its skin and danced tensely toward her.
For the first time, Vera had the urge to run, but her wrist was vexing and her legs refused to move.
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