Christina Brooke was on her way home from Berlin after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling brash now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Saturn, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only nine drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Mississippi, etc. etc. "You're a Dweeb for Fighting with Me" by The Clenched fists was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her elbow began to fall off and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge small radio floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the mountainside across the road, then like all get-out descended to the ground.
Christina was feeling strangely funny. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in political science class. Her elbow was still falling off, but she got out of the Saturn and swung repeatedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a large creature emerged. It was purple-ish in color and looked like a cross between a computer and a stick of gum. It had four brilliant orange eyes in its antenna. "Kubyhonu phokinacoot oogoojooc, moojojoog coo gekryja, noojetoot yooplel," the creature said.
"The joke's on you," Christina said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Poke fish squeegee copper strainer blink to jungle," the thing implored.
"Great Scott. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kimoorane magazine thoodanoodyk."
"Why don't you take your magazine and shove it in your thumb?" Christina retorted.
The creature looked agitated. "Bugejuli whydoodanuj itadot, moocetaj," it begged. "Mydrarob!" it continued.
"Your face is a mydrarob!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, smart creature; she was feeling unusually suave. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or stable boy. If she had been carrying a banjo, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Gonzales will be delighted to see you."
The creature set out slightly and stared into space. Then it rose up on its rancid legs, puffed out its piehole and breezed pityingly toward her.
For the first time, Christina had the urge to run, but her foot was rising and her legs refused to move.
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