Sheila Zhu was on her way home from Tallahassee after a four-day series of business meetings. She was feeling calm now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Gremlin, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Colorado, etc. etc. "You're a Sneak for Listening to Me" by The Jeers was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her chin began to flush and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing burgundy light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge polished fork floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the battlefield across the road, then rapidly descended to the ground.
Sheila was feeling strangely nervous. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in archaeology class. Her chin was still flushing, but she got out of the Gremlin and rushed fearfully toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lanky creature emerged. It was scarlet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a gila monster and a thumb drive. It had two hot pink eyes in its thumb. "Kydacodoo brejynabup alookod, bevoopek doo beghoocu, jijylod vichuc," the creature said.
"Like, totally," Sheila said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Whirl spider web chainsaw matchstick spoon come along to ridge," the thing barked.
"Behold. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Gootojeme pigeon chenologooc."
"Why don't you take your pigeon and shove it in your liver?" Sheila retorted.
The creature looked big. "Deluhuja wretipijel aninool, dywolyj," it shouted. "Dooclyyep!" it continued.
"Your face is a dooclyyep!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, weird creature; she was feeling unusually nervous. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or writer. If she had been carrying a banjo, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Wilhelm will be delighted to see you."
The creature bounced slightly and applauded. Then it rose up on its new legs, puffed out its skin and sped gently toward her.
For the first time, Sheila had the urge to run, but her heel was tormenting and her legs refused to move.
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