Kayla Hampton was on her way home from Paris after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling woozy now that the meetings were over. She was driving her hearse, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of New Hampshire, etc. etc. "I'm an Ignoramous for Scaring You" by The Giggles was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her little finger began to freeze and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing aquamarine light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge peculiar etching floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the outback across the road, then swiftly descended to the ground.
Kayla was feeling strangely muddled. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Bulgarian history class. Her little finger was still freezing, but she got out of the hearse and galumphed unabashedly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a dark creature emerged. It was azure-ish in color and looked like a cross between a tapeworm and a paintbrush. It had six golden eyes in its thorax. "Dyjoosopoo flonajoduc emidoom, coorykoob jy dagreca, gudican yeslyj," the creature said.
"You bet," Kayla said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Inspect spider web dust cloth garbage blender run to gulch," the thing asserted.
"Whoopee. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Jepajycoo cardboard box plotykigan."
"Why don't you take your cardboard box and shove it in your forehead?" Kayla retorted.
The creature looked lazy. "Koodiyidi cloogoogoonen umelal, doowopob," it intimated. "Baquijip!" it continued.
"Your face is a baquijip!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, obnoxious creature; she was feeling unusually confident. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or invalid. If she had been carrying a set of nunchucks, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Rand will be delighted to see you."
The creature jogged slightly and wailed. Then it rose up on its automatic legs, puffed out its throat and strolled courteously toward her.
For the first time, Kayla had the urge to run, but her cheek was molding and her legs refused to move.
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