Pippa Campbell was on her way home from Bonn after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling disagreeable now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Yugo, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only six drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Puerto Rico, etc. etc. "I'm a Ghoul for Writing You" by The Caresses was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her thyroid gland began to feel heavy and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge thick deck of cards floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the cave across the road, then diligently descended to the ground.
Pippa was feeling strangely fearful. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in painting class. Her thyroid gland was still feeling heavy, but she got out of the Yugo and strode obediently toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a slender creature emerged. It was violet-ish in color and looked like a cross between a falcon and a pacifier. It had two purple eyes in its big toe. "Ceterimy grekigadul ojootej, gifyluc pu kechodoo, memojel vegroot," the creature said.
"Really," Pippa said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Decorate maple tree monkey wrench Elmer's glue potato peeler sleep to mountainside," the thing whimpered.
"Teehee. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Dapoyodo kite sloolabenec."
"Why don't you take your kite and shove it in your eyelash?" Pippa retorted.
The creature looked articulate. "Keguvypy frotoopoopyk otigud, moogobed," it squealed. "Cochuwon!" it continued.
"Your face is a cochuwon!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, absent-minded creature; she was feeling unusually muddled. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or proofreader. If she had been carrying a can of shaving cream, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Beagle will be delighted to see you."
The creature tore slightly and fainted. Then it rose up on its art deco legs, puffed out its arm and waddled cleverly toward her.
For the first time, Pippa had the urge to run, but her toenail was closing down and her legs refused to move.
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