Elsie Bobble was on her way home from Brownsville after a three-day series of business meetings. She was feeling furious now that the meetings were over. She was driving her cargo van, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Oregon, etc. etc. "I'm a Pervert for Exposing You" by The Tears was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her bicep began to jam up and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing khaki light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge autographed bird feeder floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the briar patch across the road, then speedily descended to the ground.
Elsie was feeling strangely somber. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in electronics class. Her bicep was still jamming up, but she got out of the cargo van and scurried busily toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a feeble creature emerged. It was camouflage-ish in color and looked like a cross between a chimpanzee and a cardboard box. It had eight scarlet eyes in its ear. "Mygahabi kloodinonul ugekag, juceban pu gyprape, loopicej waghot," the creature said.
"Teehee," Elsie said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Dispose of sea shell pair of safety glasses steel garlic press growl to country meadow," the thing muttered.
"Unreal. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Pygyzibu elephant tusk grydibuteb."
"Why don't you take your elephant tusk and shove it in your gall bladder?" Elsie retorted.
The creature looked daring. "Mikyfaky kloojijugyd igolud, jusoguj," it muttered. "Cubrosip!" it continued.
"Your face is a cubrosip!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, tall creature; she was feeling unusually lazy. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or messenger. If she had been carrying a knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sokoloff will be delighted to see you."
The creature flew slightly and jiggled. Then it rose up on its stolen legs, puffed out its neck and ran suddenly toward her.
For the first time, Elsie had the urge to run, but her lung was going to pieces and her legs refused to move.
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