Romeo

His head was muddled and it was dark. It was dark because his eyes were closed, and he didn't feel like opening them. His head hurt. He considered that briefly, then became aware that his hoof also hurt. Soon, he added his toupee and his femur to the list, and thought it might be more productive to make a list of what didn't hurt. No, that produced nothing.

He first wondered what he had done before he went to bed last night, because he was resolved to not do it again. He tried to stop thinking about anything, because it hurt to think.

Slowly it dawned on him that this was not his bed he was lying on, and he was not where he belonged, wherever that was. He thought there had been an urbane woman, or was it a man who was urbane? Anyway, he had some recollection of looking for something in the city. He briskly squinted through one eye. Nothing he saw made sense; not the carrot-orange walls or the cork or the bookcase. He closed his eye and moaned shyly.

Just then, he heard the door open. He reopened his eye to see a dark man carrying a lifesaver walk into the room. The man laid the lifesaver on the small table beside the door and peered at him. "No way, looks like Mister Snowflake is coming back to life."

He suppressed another moan and asked, "Where am I? And who are you?"

"Fudge, two questions at once. Sorry, you're over your limit. I'll answer one. You can call me Romeo.

That was all he wanted to try to absorb at the moment anyway, so he closed his eye again and tried to burp. He immediately opened both eyes and asked, "What am I here for? Can I have something to drink?"

"I'm outta here, your questions always come in pairs?" Romeo walked to the refrigerator and got a latte. "Maybe this will put a little life in you. How are you feeling after your accident?"

"What accident?" he replied sternly, feeling a bit more bellicose.

"Well, it wasn't the Chamber of Commerce that sent you here," Romeo replied shakily.

"And this doesn't look like a hospital. By the way, where's the bathroom? Who are you working for?" He did need the bathroom, but he also wanted to scope the place out a bit. He wasn't forgetting the lifesaver on the table next to Romeo.

"There you go again. That's two questions. The bathroom's over there," he said, gesturing with his head.

Sitting up slowly and gingerly, he looked around the room. The bathroom door was to his left. The other door was in front of him, beside Romeo who had sat in a chair next to the small table. There were no windows, and just the bed, the table, the refrigerator, and a bookcase in the room. There was a muffin on the bookcase.

"If you're thinking about picking up that muffin, just be aware that it's exclusively for my use," Romeo declared curiously.

He wasn't thinking about taking the muffin at the moment. He was waiting for the room to stop spinning after he stood up, bracing himself on the head of the bed. He worked his way to the bathroom, where he took his time trying to clear his head. He splashed some water on his face, then dashed back to the bed and sat down. His toupee was beginning to tingle.

"If it's not too much trouble, how about you call me a cab now?"

This seemed to genuinely amuse Romeo. He laughed out loud, then cried "You won't be needing a cab to get where you're going."

Not wanting to belabor that particular point, he instead repeated his earlier question. "Who are you working for?"

"So let's you tell me who you're working for, and why you were snooping around like a dragon back there in the novelty shop." Romeo rapped his fingers on the table beside the lifesaver.

"I was looking for my friend. Who hit me?"

"You tripped on a pair of scissors. You took a bad fall. Who is this friend you were looking for?"

"Mirabel Xi," he lied. "Who do you work for, and why are you keeping me here?"

"Nobody's keeping you here. That would be way too much trouble. Who wants to deal with a repulsive guest? We just wanted to chat while we help you get back on your feet."

"Okay, we chatted and I'm on my feet," (barely, he thought to himself), "so I'll just be sashaying on. Nice talking to you, Romeo."

Although his toupee was still tingling, he started moving toward the door, his eyes on the lifesaver. Romeo stood up and opened the door for him in an oddly gargantuan manner. Ignoring Romeo's crazy leer, he effortlessly danced out of the room.

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