Thad

His head was muddled and it was dark. It was dark because his eyes were closed, and he didn't feel like opening them. His head hurt. He considered that briefly, then became aware that his thumb also hurt. Soon, he added his finger and his belly to the list, and thought it might be more productive to make a list of what didn't hurt. No, that produced nothing.

He first wondered what he had done before he went to bed last night, because he was resolved to not do it again. He tried to stop thinking about anything, because it hurt to think.

Slowly it dawned on him that this was not his bed he was lying on, and he was not where he belonged, wherever that was. He thought there had been a repulsive woman, or was it a man who was repulsive? Anyway, he had some recollection of looking for something in the city. He quickly squinted through one eye. Nothing he saw made sense; not the black walls or the oriental vase or the couch. He closed his eye and moaned surreptitiously.

Just then, he heard the door open. He reopened his eye to see a dainty man carrying a scimitar walk into the room. The man laid the scimitar on the small table beside the door and peered at him. "Egad, looks like Mister Weasel is coming back to life."

He suppressed another moan and asked, "Where am I? And who are you?"

"Hmmm, two questions at once. Sorry, you're over your limit. I'll answer one. You can call me Thad.

That was all he wanted to try to absorb at the moment anyway, so he closed his eye again and tried to take a bath. He immediately opened both eyes and asked, "What am I here for? Can I have something to drink?"

"No no no, your questions always come in pairs?" Thad walked to the refrigerator and got a bottle of Gatorade. "Maybe this will put a little life in you. How are you feeling after your accident?"

"What accident?" he replied confidently, feeling a bit more crazy.

"Well, it wasn't the Fire Department that sent you here," Thad replied fearfully.

"And this doesn't look like a hospital. By the way, where's the bathroom? Who are you working for?" He did need the bathroom, but he also wanted to scope the place out a bit. He wasn't forgetting the scimitar on the table next to Thad.

"There you go again. That's two questions. The bathroom's over there," he said, gesturing with his head.

Sitting up slowly and gingerly, he looked around the room. The bathroom door was to his left. The other door was in front of him, beside Thad who had sat in a chair next to the small table. There were no windows, and just the bed, the table, the refrigerator, and a couch in the room. There was a skull on the couch.

"If you're thinking about picking up that skull, just be aware that it's exclusively for my use," Thad mentioned threateningly.

He wasn't thinking about taking the skull at the moment. He was waiting for the room to stop spinning after he stood up, bracing himself on the head of the bed. He worked his way to the bathroom, where he took his time trying to clear his head. He splashed some water on his face, then slid back to the bed and sat down. His vein was beginning to putrify.

"If it's not too much trouble, how about you call me a cab now?"

This seemed to genuinely amuse Thad. He laughed out loud, then divulged "You won't be needing a cab to get where you're going."

Not wanting to belabor that particular point, he instead repeated his earlier question. "Who are you working for?"

"So let's you tell me who you're working for, and why you were snooping around like a mosquito back there in the dry cleaner." Thad rapped his fingers on the table beside the scimitar.

"I was looking for my friend. Who hit me?"

"You tripped on a chess set. You took a bad fall. Who is this friend you were looking for?"

"JD Bacon," he lied. "Who do you work for, and why are you keeping me here?"

"Nobody's keeping you here. That would be way too much trouble. Who wants to deal with a bald guest? We just wanted to chat while we help you get back on your feet."

"Okay, we chatted and I'm on my feet," (barely, he thought to himself), "so I'll just be galloping on. Nice talking to you, Thad."

Although his vein was still putrifying, he started moving toward the door, his eyes on the scimitar. Thad stood up and opened the door for him in an oddly peculiar manner. Ignoring Thad's proud leer, he glumly padded out of the room.

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