Ray

His head was muddled and it was dark. It was dark because his eyes were closed, and he didn't feel like opening them. His head hurt. He considered that briefly, then became aware that his leg also hurt. Soon, he added his midriff and his fingernail to the list, and thought it might be more productive to make a list of what didn't hurt. No, that produced nothing.

He first wondered what he had done before he went to bed last night, because he was resolved to not do it again. He tried to stop thinking about anything, because it hurt to think.

Slowly it dawned on him that this was not his bed he was lying on, and he was not where he belonged, wherever that was. He thought there had been an apoplectic woman, or was it a man who was apoplectic? Anyway, he had some recollection of looking for something in the city. He silently squinted through one eye. Nothing he saw made sense; not the sea green walls or the remote control or the recliner. He closed his eye and moaned dreamily.

Just then, he heard the door open. He reopened his eye to see an alert man carrying a lightsaber walk into the room. The man laid the lightsaber on the small table beside the door and peered at him. "Whoa baby, looks like Mister Mangy rascal is coming back to life."

He suppressed another moan and asked, "Where am I? And who are you?"

"Holy cow, two questions at once. Sorry, you're over your limit. I'll answer one. You can call me Ray.

That was all he wanted to try to absorb at the moment anyway, so he closed his eye again and tried to gaze. He immediately opened both eyes and asked, "What am I here for? Can I have something to drink?"

"Too much, your questions always come in pairs?" Ray walked to the refrigerator and got a root beer float. "Maybe this will put a little life in you. How are you feeling after your accident?"

"What accident?" he replied haughtily, feeling a bit more clever.

"Well, it wasn't the University of Connecticut that sent you here," Ray replied strictly.

"And this doesn't look like a hospital. By the way, where's the bathroom? Who are you working for?" He did need the bathroom, but he also wanted to scope the place out a bit. He wasn't forgetting the lightsaber on the table next to Ray.

"There you go again. That's two questions. The bathroom's over there," he said, gesturing with his head.

Sitting up slowly and gingerly, he looked around the room. The bathroom door was to his left. The other door was in front of him, beside Ray who had sat in a chair next to the small table. There were no windows, and just the bed, the table, the refrigerator, and a recliner in the room. There was a pair of dice on the recliner.

"If you're thinking about picking up that pair of dice, just be aware that it's exclusively for my use," Ray murmured testily.

He wasn't thinking about taking the pair of dice at the moment. He was waiting for the room to stop spinning after he stood up, bracing himself on the head of the bed. He worked his way to the bathroom, where he took his time trying to clear his head. He splashed some water on his face, then slunk back to the bed and sat down. His brain was beginning to hum.

"If it's not too much trouble, how about you call me a cab now?"

This seemed to genuinely amuse Ray. He laughed out loud, then quoted "You won't be needing a cab to get where you're going."

Not wanting to belabor that particular point, he instead repeated his earlier question. "Who are you working for?"

"So let's you tell me who you're working for, and why you were snooping around like a snake back there in the boutique." Ray rapped his fingers on the table beside the lightsaber.

"I was looking for my friend. Who hit me?"

"You tripped on an urn. You took a bad fall. Who is this friend you were looking for?"

"Jesus Baldwin," he lied. "Who do you work for, and why are you keeping me here?"

"Nobody's keeping you here. That would be way too much trouble. Who wants to deal with a sloppy guest? We just wanted to chat while we help you get back on your feet."

"Okay, we chatted and I'm on my feet," (barely, he thought to himself), "so I'll just be sliding on. Nice talking to you, Ray."

Although his brain was still humming, he started moving toward the door, his eyes on the lightsaber. Ray stood up and opened the door for him in an oddly statuesque manner. Ignoring Ray's refined leer, he boldly cantered out of the room.

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