Fabien

His head was muddled and it was dark. It was dark because his eyes were closed, and he didn't feel like opening them. His head hurt. He considered that briefly, then became aware that his appendix also hurt. Soon, he added his toe and his intestine to the list, and thought it might be more productive to make a list of what didn't hurt. No, that produced nothing.

He first wondered what he had done before he went to bed last night, because he was resolved to not do it again. He tried to stop thinking about anything, because it hurt to think.

Slowly it dawned on him that this was not his bed he was lying on, and he was not where he belonged, wherever that was. He thought there had been a loving woman, or was it a man who was loving? Anyway, he had some recollection of looking for something in the city. He woodenly squinted through one eye. Nothing he saw made sense; not the striped walls or the business card or the couch. He closed his eye and moaned offhandedly.

Just then, he heard the door open. He reopened his eye to see a nervous man carrying an accordion walk into the room. The man laid the accordion on the small table beside the door and peered at him. "Cool beans, looks like Mister Worm is coming back to life."

He suppressed another moan and asked, "Where am I? And who are you?"

"Shame, two questions at once. Sorry, you're over your limit. I'll answer one. You can call me Fabien.

That was all he wanted to try to absorb at the moment anyway, so he closed his eye again and tried to sneer. He immediately opened both eyes and asked, "What am I here for? Can I have something to drink?"

"Ooh, your questions always come in pairs?" Fabien walked to the refrigerator and got a sarsaparilla. "Maybe this will put a little life in you. How are you feeling after your accident?"

"What accident?" he replied arrogantly, feeling a bit more prickly.

"Well, it wasn't the Gardeners of the World that sent you here," Fabien replied crankily.

"And this doesn't look like a hospital. By the way, where's the bathroom? Who are you working for?" He did need the bathroom, but he also wanted to scope the place out a bit. He wasn't forgetting the accordion on the table next to Fabien.

"There you go again. That's two questions. The bathroom's over there," he said, gesturing with his head.

Sitting up slowly and gingerly, he looked around the room. The bathroom door was to his left. The other door was in front of him, beside Fabien who had sat in a chair next to the small table. There were no windows, and just the bed, the table, the refrigerator, and a couch in the room. There was a bat on the couch.

"If you're thinking about picking up that bat, just be aware that it's exclusively for my use," Fabien brought up sympathetically.

He wasn't thinking about taking the bat at the moment. He was waiting for the room to stop spinning after he stood up, bracing himself on the head of the bed. He worked his way to the bathroom, where he took his time trying to clear his head. He splashed some water on his face, then lumbered back to the bed and sat down. His ego was beginning to contract.

"If it's not too much trouble, how about you call me a cab now?"

This seemed to genuinely amuse Fabien. He laughed out loud, then fumed "You won't be needing a cab to get where you're going."

Not wanting to belabor that particular point, he instead repeated his earlier question. "Who are you working for?"

"So let's you tell me who you're working for, and why you were snooping around like a hamster back there in the pizza joint." Fabien rapped his fingers on the table beside the accordion.

"I was looking for my friend. Who hit me?"

"You tripped on a bird feeder. You took a bad fall. Who is this friend you were looking for?"

"Alan Brooke," he lied. "Who do you work for, and why are you keeping me here?"

"Nobody's keeping you here. That would be way too much trouble. Who wants to deal with a poised guest? We just wanted to chat while we help you get back on your feet."

"Okay, we chatted and I'm on my feet," (barely, he thought to himself), "so I'll just be rushing on. Nice talking to you, Fabien."

Although his ego was still contracting, he started moving toward the door, his eyes on the accordion. Fabien stood up and opened the door for him in an oddly dismal manner. Ignoring Fabien's mean leer, he tensely scampered out of the room.

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