Rewrite this story

Battle Of The Bands

Frank Rexford and the Immense Statues

The Torn Clams

Ramen Noodles

Sinclair Hayes and the Imported Spleens

The Watering Cans

The Sneers

Morrie Tilley and the Rock Concert

The Hangnails

Ira Pough and the Selfish Ring-tailed lemurs

Diddly Poo

The Furrowed Brows

Lear Ward and Sesame seeds

Fashion faux-pas

Herb Bartholomew and the Automatic Bottles Of Painkillers

Beauford Roberts and Continental Drift

Bum Cruz and the Ruined Compasses

Nipkin

The Talkative Monkeys

Stephen Sitting Bird and Active dry yeast

The Moaning Curtsies

Ne'er-do-well Randall

The air brake

Hendrick Tuckerman and Badger Hole

The Used Mole Platoon

The Destruction of Charity