there's something inside of you trying to get out
a tunneling microvirus looking for the one shot into your bloodstream
where it will find a host
and replicate
and fill you to brimming.

there's something you ignore inside of you
you've been telling yourself, i don't need it
i'm happier alone.
maybe you are; you can't tell. it doesn't matter anyway
even if you'd let it out
it hasn't had the chance.

you can think back a lifetime
to when you knew what that something was
it was an everyday part of you.
you can think back to when you let yourself think
when you always went with your first impulse
when you let yourself get hurt.
you haven't been hurt in years now
because mostly you were only hurting yourself.

there's something inside of you ready to cry
ready to break down and fall out and run to the water
that famous ocean everyone sings about.
part of you wants it back.
it's okay. you're adjusted, satisfied, ready for a perfect life
fulfilled.
even so
three in the morning
you catch yourself wondering
if you'll look back twenty years down the road
and wonder why you didn't let that something out when you had the chance.