The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live on a mesa, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad hawk who enjoyed poking little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors on the mesa.

The first little pig built his house of cookie dough.

Along came the big bad hawk, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my Achilles tendon!

Then the hawk said, "Then I'll blow up and I'll yelp and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad hawk blew up and she yelped, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of chicken wire.

Along came the big bad hawk, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my ankle!

Then the hawk said, "Then I'll get dizzy and I'll ponder and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad hawk got dizzy and she pondered, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of foil.

Along came the big bad hawk, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my pancreas!

Then the hawk said, "Then I'll cheer and I'll buzz and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad hawk cheered and buzzed, she couldn't blow in a house made of foil. The big bad hawk felt miniscule. "Quiet," she said, and went away boldly.

From that day on, the big bad hawk never poked the three pigs again.