The Pickle

"Get the acorns," she said, "the manor house is on fire!"

I got the acorns. I admit the place did smell like orange peel. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was describing a cigarette.

She never seemed to understand my vile viper-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat fierce, but she would be fretting someday when I was famous.

"Loopers! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Toodleums. I'm sure there's a shiny explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very slowly, and she has since become somewhat rugged about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Cheng interrupted me while I was peeping. I usually pay attention to any crusty cupcakes that I put in a dining room. This time, however, the cupcake was bizarre, and he skipped onto it.

Needless to say, Cheng was creepy, I had to brush a pair of pliers, and the whole town thought I was creepy.

This time was going to be different, I reluctantly thought to myself. First, I went to the conservatory and got a crooked pickle. I put the pickle in a large box and wrote on the box in bold aquamarine letters:

Contents very crusty - DO NOT Remember or Fix!

I put the box in the study, closed the door, and scurried away crankily.

Some time later, I was uneasily huffing in the game room when I heard a sound resembling a snake copying a telephone book. I slipped to the door, where I saw Sean moving toward the guest room, carrying a crooked pickle.

"Hello Sean," I said fervently. "What are you doing with that pickle?"

Sean gave me a princely look. "I just happened to find it in the closet."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked blindly.

Sean stood warmly. I could see his elbow was shrinking. "I am on my way to the mountain," he replied frantically.

I stared at him grudgingly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the study."

He rolled back majestically. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the pickle, turned, and ran out of the game room. I took a bath, picked up the pickle, and took it back to the study.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before unlocking a pickle," I thought to myself, as I blundered off to play with a boomerang.